1. You know, Sam,
this is my favourite time of day.Copy !req
2. What's that, Coach? Closing time?Copy !req
3. No. 1:37. I don't know.
There's just something about it.Copy !req
4. I know what you mean.Copy !req
5. I suppose we've all got
our favourite 1:37 story.Copy !req
6. What's your favourite time of day,
Sam?Copy !req
7. Gee, I don't know. 8:15's nice.Copy !req
8. Yeah. I used to like 8:5.
I think I kinda grew out of it.Copy !req
9. Wait a minute. Coach, Sammy.Copy !req
10. I don't want to be left alone
locked up in this bar all ni...Copy !req
11. Quarter to threeCopy !req
12. No one in the place except you and meCopy !req
13. Once in a while, a man
needs a little time to himself.Copy !req
14. - Evening, everybody.
- Hi, Norman.Copy !req
15. Beer?Copy !req
16. Nah, I'd probably just drink it.Copy !req
17. What's new, Norm?Copy !req
18. I just came from a late lunch
at the Copley Plaza.Copy !req
19. You had lunch at the Copley?Copy !req
20. Yeah. I took a prospective employer
there. Courting the guy.Copy !req
21. - What did you have?
- The rack of lamb for two.Copy !req
22. Don't remember what he had.Copy !req
23. I saw Teddy Kennedy over there.Copy !req
24. Whoa. Norman, really?Copy !req
25. I still say that Kennedy will be
president some day.Copy !req
26. No, wait.Copy !req
27. Maybe even next time.
You know how politicians are.Copy !req
28. - Doesn't make sense.
- I really don't think so, Diane.Copy !req
29. I've got a pet little theory
about that.Copy !req
30. You see, if you go back in history
and take every president,Copy !req
31. you'll find that the numerical value
of each letter in their last nameCopy !req
32. was equally divisible into the year
in which they were elected.Copy !req
33. So who's gonna win, Cliff?
Reagan again?Copy !req
34. Mondale?Copy !req
35. No. Not a chance.
See, I figured it out.Copy !req
36. By my calculations,
our next president has to be namedCopy !req
37. Yelnik Mcwawa.Copy !req
38. That's the stupidest name
I ever heard.Copy !req
39. Sam, please. You're talking
about our next president.Copy !req
40. So, Norm. What was Kennedy
doing at the Copley?Copy !req
41. Having lunch. I got his autograph.Copy !req
42. You disturbed him during his lunch?Copy !req
43. No. God!Copy !req
44. I waited
till he went to the men's room.Copy !req
45. Mart... Martie Broder?
I got the wrong stall. I dunno.Copy !req
46. Ho, Cliff.
Isn't that Tibor Svetkovic?Copy !req
47. - Svetkovic, where?
- That's Svetkovic all right.Copy !req
48. Based on the fact that he has a long
name that you can all pronounce,Copy !req
49. I guess that he's an athlete.Copy !req
50. Or will he be president in 1990?Copy !req
51. Diane, the man was Czechoslovakia's
greatest hockey player.Copy !req
52. He defected to us
just to play in the NHL.Copy !req
53. It's an incredible story actually.Copy !req
54. He dressed up as a woman,
hid in a haystack,Copy !req
55. crawled on his belly
under barbed wire,Copy !req
56. swam a couple of rivers and stowed
away on a tramp steamer to get here.Copy !req
57. Amazing.Copy !req
58. The next week, the rest of his team
came over on the Concorde.Copy !req
59. That's what he gets
for not reading his schedule.Copy !req
60. Nobody said
he was a smart hockey player.Copy !req
61. Is this my day, or what? First
Teddy Kennedy now Tibor Svetkovic.Copy !req
62. You better memorise his shoes,
you might want his autograph later.Copy !req
63. Tibor, I see you play all the time.
I'm Sam Malone.Copy !req
64. Your problem may be
too much caffeine.Copy !req
65. Sorry, what?Copy !req
66. He's learning English
from TV commercials.Copy !req
67. And who are you?Copy !req
68. I'm Lana Marshall.
I'm Tibor's commercial agent.Copy !req
69. Is that right?
I'm Sam Malone, the boss here.Copy !req
70. You're the boss?Copy !req
71. You're gonna tell me what to do?Copy !req
72. Something tell me
you know what to do.Copy !req
73. I know what I like to do.Copy !req
74. That's nice.Copy !req
75. I like the lady who knows what she
likes to do and does what she likes.Copy !req
76. The mating ritual of
the horny-breasted lounge lizard.Copy !req
77. Two beers.Copy !req
78. Let me take care of you two here.Copy !req
79. - Tibor. Miller Time?
- TV! Yes, sir.Copy !req
80. - What can I do for you?
- What's your speciality?Copy !req
81. I do everything the same round here.Copy !req
82. - Great.
- Then why don't you surprise me?Copy !req
83. - It would be my pleasure.
- Mine too, I hope.Copy !req
84. - I'll be right back.
- I'll be right here.Copy !req
85. She'll be here,
he'll be back and I'll be sick.Copy !req
86. So, you get jobs for professional
athletes to be in commercials?Copy !req
87. Yes. As a matter of fact,
I specialise in male athletes.Copy !req
88. Don't you know who you were
just talking to? That's Sam Malone.Copy !req
89. Cute guy. Too bad he has dandruff.Copy !req
90. - He used to play with the Red Sox.
- Really?Copy !req
91. Who does he play with now?Copy !req
92. You know,
you give broads a good name.Copy !req
93. Excuse me, could I ask you
a question about your boss?Copy !req
94. The king of the single entendre?Copy !req
95. Tell me, does he have a wife,
or worse, someone he cares about?Copy !req
96. He's available and very desirable,Copy !req
97. if lummox is your cup of tea.Copy !req
98. And it appears to be.Copy !req
99. Tibor, I think it's time
to get to the Garden.Copy !req
100. I'm late.Copy !req
101. After game, your room?Copy !req
102. No, Tibor,
I think I'm going to be busy tonight.Copy !req
103. OK, goodbye.Copy !req
104. And this concludes
another day of programming.Copy !req
105. Sooner or later,
you'll own General.Copy !req
106. Poor guy should really think
about wearing a helmet.Copy !req
107. I understand
that you were an athlete.Copy !req
108. I'm sorry, I don't remember you.Copy !req
109. That's all right. I was a relief
pitcher before they became famous.Copy !req
110. - I missed it by a year.
- Have you done any acting?Copy !req
111. Well, you know, yeah, I have.
I had the lead in a school play.Copy !req
112. The one about the evil woman
who pushes her husbandCopy !req
113. into getting rid of people
for more and more power.Copy !req
114. You mean Macbeth?Copy !req
115. No. How Boots Fooled the King.Copy !req
116. - Was that what Macbeth was about?
- Tibor's looking better, isn't he?Copy !req
117. Excuse me. I'll be right back.Copy !req
118. - Hey, Diane, we're talking here.
- She's talking.Copy !req
119. You're killing time between thoughts.Copy !req
120. You got a problem?Copy !req
121. Look, Sam. Just watch it, OK?Copy !req
122. She's not
one of your usual bimboettes.Copy !req
123. That's what I like about her.
She's got a lot of class.Copy !req
124. While I have never been
a big fan of the women you date,Copy !req
125. I will say that at least
they were too stupid to be harmful.Copy !req
126. I knew they'd grow on you.Copy !req
127. Is there something between you two?Copy !req
128. No. That's just business.Copy !req
129. I never mix in her personal life
and she mixes in mine.Copy !req
130. I've just been talking to my
secretary about the winter schedule.Copy !req
131. I think there might be some
commercials you might do very well.Copy !req
132. Me? You're kidding.Copy !req
133. No.
You have a very sexy, playful qualityCopy !req
134. that would come across on camera.Copy !req
135. Wait,
I haven't played baseball for years.Copy !req
136. I'm not exactly a household name.Copy !req
137. Non-star athletes are in vogue.
They come across as regular people.Copy !req
138. What do you say, Sam?Copy !req
139. - I gotta think about it a bit.
- Come on, do it. You're a natural.Copy !req
140. Look at you. You're tall, handsome,
you got a great smile.Copy !req
141. Show her your smile.Copy !req
142. I'll be damned.
Who the hell was I thinking of?Copy !req
143. You know, I have to admit, all these
years watching those commercials,Copy !req
144. I always thought
I might be pretty good.Copy !req
145. Let's do it.Copy !req
146. Wonderful.Copy !req
147. Look, I'm staying at the Ritz.Copy !req
148. Why don't you come over later
and we'll work out the details?Copy !req
149. I don't get off until two.Copy !req
150. All the better.Copy !req
151. All these people at the bar
and no one introduced us.Copy !req
152. No, they didn't.Copy !req
153. I'd like to thank
each and every one of them.Copy !req
154. Me, too.Copy !req
155. Now for Fields Light Beer,
former Red Sox pitcher, Luis Tiant.Copy !req
156. After the game,
I like to sit back, light up a cigarCopy !req
157. and enjoy a Fields Light Beer.Copy !req
158. Hey, Luis.
Hey, Sam.Copy !req
159. When you get to be my age,Copy !req
160. 30, you don't want to get filled up.Copy !req
161. That's why I drink Field Beer.
It's refreshing, satisfying,Copy !req
162. and you don't full feel with Field,
you just full fine.Copy !req
163. Full feel with Field, you full fine.Copy !req
164. Sorry, Luis, I don't think
you've got it. I'm pulling you out.Copy !req
165. - Skipper, let me stay.
- Sorry, big guy.Copy !req
166. Go get them, Mayday.Copy !req
167. Now pitching, Sam Mayday Malone.Copy !req
168. Fields,
it's refreshing, it's satisfying.Copy !req
169. You don't feel full with Fields,
you just feel fine.Copy !req
170. Alright!Copy !req
171. Another save.Copy !req
172. I still get the win, don't l?Copy !req
173. You were great.Copy !req
174. Coach,
two bottles of Fields right here.Copy !req
175. Normally I wouldn't use that to
shampoo my dog but you sold me.Copy !req
176. Sam, you could sell me
ice cubes in summer.Copy !req
177. You're in showbiz now.Copy !req
178. You're a star.Copy !req
179. Sam, could you introduce me
to Gene Tierney?Copy !req
180. - I don't know Gene Tierney, Coach.
- OK, be that way.Copy !req
181. Come on. How about a speech
from the big actor?Copy !req
182. Yeah, how did it feel
to see yourself up there, Sammy?Copy !req
183. It was nice. It was very nice, OK?Copy !req
184. I was afraid of this. We have
to sedate the man, he's hysterical.Copy !req
185. Sam, if there's anything you wanna
talk about, get off your chest.Copy !req
186. There's nothing I wanna talk about.
I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl.Copy !req
187. Just wait on some tables.Copy !req
188. Fine.Copy !req
189. Sammy, that agent of yours
is hotter than a pistol.Copy !req
190. She's really earning
her ten per cent.Copy !req
191. Listen, will you just leave me alone?
Please, got that? Leave me alone.Copy !req
192. - Sam, let's talk.
- There's nothing to talk about.Copy !req
193. It's important.
Come back to the office now.Copy !req
194. Sammy's in trouble
with Miss Chambers again.Copy !req
195. Sammy's in trouble with Chambers.Copy !req
196. What do you want?Copy !req
197. Sam, you're obviously unhappy
and everybody just wants to know why.Copy !req
198. I'm not unhappy.Copy !req
199. - You're not?
- No.Copy !req
200. - You're happy with the commercials?
- Yes.Copy !req
201. - Think you were good?
- Yes.Copy !req
202. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
203. Well, what is it, then?Copy !req
204. Are you happy with the money?Copy !req
205. yes.Copy !req
206. - Are you happy with the auditions?
- Yes.Copy !req
207. - Are you happy with your agent?
- Oh, God!Copy !req
208. The Dragon Lady.
Tell me about it.Copy !req
209. Why? You wanna hear me
say you were right?Copy !req
210. Of course not.Copy !req
211. Knowing that and knowing
you know it and are tortured by itCopy !req
212. is plenty for this country girl.Copy !req
213. I'm sorry. I am sorry.Copy !req
214. I do wanna help. Come on, let's talk.Copy !req
215. You wanna hear about my relationship
with another woman?Copy !req
216. Well, Maybe...Copy !req
217. Maybe I should find a man out thereCopy !req
218. who's intellectually capable
of helping you.Copy !req
219. All right, everybody line up
for the ugliest tongue contest.Copy !req
220. Alphabetically by height, over here.Copy !req
221. It appears that
all the other intellectuals are busy.Copy !req
222. You're sure you wanna hear this?Copy !req
223. I'll stop you
before I get the vapours.Copy !req
224. You see, my relationship...Copy !req
225. Lana and I are a lot friendlier
than most agents and clients.Copy !req
226. Friendlier?Copy !req
227. You know me. I'm never against
a wild night of friend-making, but...Copy !req
228. There's some... Now I feel that I'm
supposed to be friendly on demand.Copy !req
229. And you're afraid
she'll stop getting you commercialsCopy !req
230. if you stop being friendly?Copy !req
231. When you play in the bigs like I did,
you get used to attention.Copy !req
232. When I stopped playing baseball,
I felt something missing in my life.Copy !req
233. I was just hoping that these
commercials would get it back for me.Copy !req
234. Sam, Lana gave me a message for you
but I can't remember it.Copy !req
235. - Lana's here?
- That's it.Copy !req
236. By the way, what are you two doing?
We got a lot of customers out there.Copy !req
237. I got a problem.
Diane's helping me talk through it.Copy !req
238. Look, Sam, let me tell you something.
You've faced a lot of tough problems.Copy !req
239. You always found a solution but
since Sir Isaac Hayes came along...Copy !req
240. No offence, Diane,
I love Sir Isaac Hayes,Copy !req
241. but since then,
it's been talk, talk, talk.Copy !req
242. This is a pretty complicated problem,
Coach.Copy !req
243. You see, Sam wants to break up
with Lana, and he knows he should,Copy !req
244. but he's afraid that he will
sacrifice his acting career.Copy !req
245. - See?
- I don't understand what's going on.Copy !req
246. Let me show you something.
Come right down here.Copy !req
247. Just, please, come right down
here. Stand right here, Sam.Copy !req
248. - Pick that up.
- What do you want me to do that for?Copy !req
249. Just pick it up.Copy !req
250. Now, get the hell out there and tell
her you're finished with her.Copy !req
251. Please tell him
it's more complic...Copy !req
252. Out. Hustle.Copy !req
253. What do you want me to do?Copy !req
254. Hustle. I mean it.Copy !req
255. That was wonderful. Somehow,
your instincts just told you...Copy !req
256. Button it up, Diane. We got
a lot of people out there. Move it.Copy !req
257. Right.Copy !req
258. Tell me something, Red.Copy !req
259. Are professional athletes better
between the old wamsuttasCopy !req
260. than ordinary men?Copy !req
261. I've had no experience
with ordinary men.Copy !req
262. Me neither, but I'm trying
to work my way up to one.Copy !req
263. Believe me, athletes take their pants
off one leg at a time, like anybody.Copy !req
264. They take off their pants?Copy !req
265. I'm glad you're here. There's
something I want to talk about.Copy !req
266. Sam,
what do you think of your commercial?Copy !req
267. - It was fine but listen...
- I thought it was wonderful.Copy !req
268. I've had lots of calls about you.Copy !req
269. - Calls?
- A lot of people saw you.Copy !req
270. And they liked what they saw.Copy !req
271. One of those calls was an offer
for you, a national commercial.Copy !req
272. It's big money,
and they want to fly you to Hawaii.Copy !req
273. You're going to do the commercial
with the Osmonds.Copy !req
274. The Osmonds.Copy !req
275. - The whole family?
- That's right.Copy !req
276. - Even little Jimmy?
- Well, we're hoping.Copy !req
277. Now, come on.Copy !req
278. Wasn't there something
I wanted to say?Copy !req
279. Later. We've got
to get some pictures for you.Copy !req
280. We should buy a new sports jacket.Copy !req
281. Afterwards, we can stop off
at the hotel for a bite.Copy !req
282. And a nibble.Copy !req
283. And a scratch.Copy !req
284. Coach.Copy !req
285. Sam, I'm getting real mad now.Copy !req
286. - Lana, we can't nibble any more.
- Why?Copy !req
287. I just don't feel right about it.Copy !req
288. I see.Copy !req
289. Does this mean
that you're no longer my agent?Copy !req
290. Sam, what kind of person
would I have to beCopy !req
291. to drop you as a client
just because of this?Copy !req
292. - A dragon lady.
- I'm no dragon lady.Copy !req
293. - Good.
- But I am gonna drop you.Copy !req
294. I've learned from past experience,Copy !req
295. once you've had an intimate
relationship with a client,Copy !req
296. you can't go back
to being just business associates.Copy !req
297. Perhaps it's time
for me to find a new face.Copy !req
298. My face is new.Copy !req
299. Good,
you still have time to return it.Copy !req
300. She's good, Sam.Copy !req
301. - So, that's it?
- Yep.Copy !req
302. Good luck in finding a replacement
for me in the Hawaii commercial.Copy !req
303. If it takes me
longer than six minutes, I'll quit.Copy !req
304. Boy, she is good.Copy !req
305. May I ask you a question?Copy !req
306. You want to know how he was?Copy !req
307. What?Copy !req
308. You think I'm gonna stand hereCopy !req
309. and listen to you tell me
how good Sam was?Copy !req
310. Fair?Copy !req
311. What do you wanna know?Copy !req
312. I want to know
how you can live with yourself.Copy !req
313. I can't. That's why I like
having young athletes around.Copy !req
314. I've always been crazy about them.Copy !req
315. Sometimes when I'm with one, I swear
I can hear the crowd cheering.Copy !req
316. I could understand this behaviour
from an oversexed adolescent.Copy !req
317. - But you're..
- An older woman? Middle-aged?Copy !req
318. All the more reason
to grab some youth.Copy !req
319. There was a time in my life when men
would invent tricks and schemesCopy !req
320. to get my attention.Copy !req
321. Well, now I'm the one
who schemes to get theirs.Copy !req
322. That's not too unfair, is it?Copy !req
323. But don't be too concerned.
Someday, even that won't work.Copy !req
324. Don't judge me until the bloom
is off your rose, honey. Ta-ta.Copy !req
325. She is good.Copy !req
326. Fields,
it's refreshing, it's satisfying.Copy !req
327. You don't feel full with Fields,
you just feel fine.Copy !req
328. Alright!Copy !req
329. Another save.Copy !req
330. Come on, admit it. I was good.Copy !req
331. Come on, say it. I was good.Copy !req
332. - You were OK.
- I wasn't OK, I was good.Copy !req
333. What's it gonna do,
kill you to admit it?Copy !req
334. All right.Copy !req
335. You were...Copy !req
336. Good.Copy !req
337. Good.Copy !req
338. You were OK.Copy !req
339. You were good.
And you did the right thing.Copy !req
340. Thanks. Hey, listen.Copy !req
341. Before you came to work at this bar,Copy !req
342. I never thought that much
about morality and integrity.Copy !req
343. You made me aware of all that stuff
for the first time.Copy !req
344. Thank you, Sam.Copy !req
345. That's why I'm firing you.
You can leave your apron right there.Copy !req