Central Park 1x9

1. This next song is our most requested song this week

2. and it's going out to my dog, Hank.

3. Hank, sorry about your balls.

4. Gonna walk to the edge of the world Let's have some fun

5. Gonna dance till the end of time Let's turn it up

6. Oh, yeah.

7. Let's make life a movie And charge our friends to come

8. 'Cause we're living—

9. tonight

10. Live it up tonight

11. - Mr. Mayor. - Bitsy.

12. Let's roll this Royce.

13. The Dagmont has a new doorman. Pull up, pull up!

14. - Knock knock. - Who's there?

15. Your hotel sucks. Drive, drive, drive. Drive!

16. Got him. Stupid doorman. Stupid Dagmont.

17. So, that was fun.

18. Bitsy, are we having a meeting with Mayor Whitebottom

19. or are we pranking the hotel next door?

20. We can do both.

21. Stupid Dagmont Hotel with their dumb new awning

22. and their five-star rating and their cucumber water.

23. Why are we meeting in your car again?

24. Because I have to get my hair done and be back at the hotel

25. before the award ceremony tonight.

26. Yes, and as mayor of New York,

27. I don't have anything I'm supposed to be doing before then.

28. - Good. Whatever. - I'm being sarcastic.

29. Bitsy Brandenham decided she wanted the mayor

30. to give her an award that she made up.

31. They're calling it the Businessperson and Humanitarian

32. and Role Model Icon of the Year Award.

33. The ceremony is being held at the Brandenham this evening,

34. and what a bash.

35. The mayor will be there. Bitsy will be there.

36. Some of her employees are required to be there in rented tuxedos.

37. Whitney, did you finish preparing your opening remarks about me?

38. I copied a cool speech off the Internet.

39. Just did find and replace. Wherever it said "SEAL Team Six," I put "Bitsy."

40. And you'll mention the rampant mismanagement and corruption in the park?

41. - I will? - Yes.

42. The dirt on the park manager that we got

43. because you launched that audit of the park I asked for.

44. - Totally. - Oh, my God.

45. Tell me you launched the park audit

46. and you're not just texting about it right now.

47. Nope. Just checking my horoscope.

48. It's good. It says it's good. Oh, Sagittarius.

49. He's texting. He just wrote, "Super forgot about the park audit. Must happen today."

50. Then he did one of those tongue-out eyes-crossed emojis.

51. Damn it, Whitebottom!

52. This is the main reason I'm doing this damn award ceremony.

53. You audit the park. You find something funky. You put it in your speech.

54. You casually segue to talking about how great I am

55. and how amazing my hair looks.

56. You give me the award I bought. Standing ovation. We all get drunk!

57. I'm on it. I'm on it. Don't worry.

58. I'm putting my best auditor on it. She— She audits so good.

59. Is she...

60. No, she's clean. But she always finds something.

61. They call her the prauditor.

62. It's a combination of predator and auditor.

63. I know what a prauditor is.

64. There's that soft pretzel guy I hate. Pull over. Pull over.

65. Knock knock.

66. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

67. - It's tonight. - What is?

68. The Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour.

69. - Are you still doing homework? - Molly, you're not listening.

70. The Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour tonight.

71. Zoom Abramovich runs one of those New York City pop culture walking tours.

72. There are plenty of tour guides who do Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the City,

73. but Zoom Abramovich goes deep.

74. He does the sequels. Ghostbusters II, Stuart Little 2, Arthur 2.

75. He does the bloopers, he does deleted scenes,

76. the nuts and bolts of film financing.

77. And he does it all with panache.

78. Welcome, everybody, to the Vanilla Sky:

79. Tom Cruise Penélope Cruz Cruise Down Memory Lane Tour.

80. Before we get started, who needs me to explain the movie?

81. Lot of hands. Okay.

82. The Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour happens at night.

83. It's something Cole and Molly are very interested in attending, Cole especially,

84. and they're gonna ask their parents if they can do it by themselves.

85. - No. - No.

86. Gah, no, please.

87. It's my favorite movie of all time. It's about hope and light and life.

88. Come on. It's a one-night-only thing.

89. And I'll be with him. Let me show you how responsible I can be.

90. Molly thinks that if she can prove to her parents

91. that she can take care of her brother out of the house at night,

92. it will lead to all sorts of unsupervised night excursions

93. like movies and, like, murder mystery dinner theater.

94. I don't know what kids do.

95. See? See? See how I'm taking care of him?

96. - He's so safe. - Too much. Too much.

97. Your father and I need to have a conference. Owen, what do you think?

98. What if they never go out at night until they're 40?

99. - But they're with Zoom. We know Zoom. - That's true.

100. Zoom's all right. Zoom's a grown-up.

101. He is a grown-up. His name's Zoom though, but okay.

102. - Okay. Should we tell the kids? - Yes. Please tell us.

103. - You can go. - Yes!

104. But on 12 conditions.

105. There are actually 25.

106. And finally, every four and a half minutes,

107. text your dad and me the words, "I'm alive."

108. Maybe there's some wiggle room with that one?

109. Fine. Text me if you're getting killed.

110. Okay. I'll send you a thumbs-down.

111. So, you know what happens at night, Cole? It gets dark.

112. - Your dad's a smart one. - I'm saying Cole might get scared.

113. Scared? I'm a big boy now.

114. Do big boys refer to themselves as big boys?

115. Ask my big boy bike.

116. Sometimes you're... you know, at nighttime.

117. It's okay, Dad. Nighttime and I had our beefs,

118. but I think we're on good terms right now.

119. Daytime's getting a little jealous actually.

120. Okay, good. Just checking. So, what time does it end?

121. - Eight. - Home by 8:15?

122. - Home by 8:15. - And did you finish your homework?

123. I'm just kidding. Of course you didn't.

124. - Get out of here. - Yes!

125. We are alone, my friend. You thinking what I'm thinking?

126. - Catch up on chores and housework? - Hell yeah.

127. Gonna walk to the edge of the world Let's have some fun

128. Gonna dance till the end of time Let's turn it up

129. Let's make life a movie And charge our friends to come

130. - 'Cause we're living— - Wait. We have to go out.

131. Yeah, what are we doing? We're young. Are we young?

132. - Yeah, we're young. - Then let's go out.

133. When was the last time we had a date night?

134. I don't know but we printed out the MapQuest.

135. So we're going out.

136. You don't think she went too far?

137. No, I think you can pull that off.

138. And I don't look too young?

139. I promise you don't.

140. Oh, all right, then. I guess I feel banquet-ready.

141. I've got my hair done. I've got my banquet teeth bleached.

142. Oh, wait, where are my jade earrings?

143. Did you get them back from that talking-too-much shampoo girl?

144. They're right here.

145. Well, don't just stand there. Move the dumpster.

146. Probably fell down there. Gone forever. Bye-bye earring.

147. - Lift it up. - The heavy metal grate?

148. Yes. Don't be such a wuss.

149. There's rungs and you have feet, so...

150. Hurry up. I'm bored.

151. I can't believe we're really doing this. Do you think they have wine?

152. Am I crazy or did a couple just get up from the table in front of the fireplace?

153. - Crap, it's Elwood. - No, no, no. Don't take it.

154. I have to. He never calls when I'm off unless it's an emergency.

155. Except for that one time he thought a raccoon was stalking him.

156. - Hey, Elwood. - Owen, it's Elwood.

157. Yeah, no, I know. Go ahead.

158. There's a city auditor from the city here to do an audit.

159. What? Wendell's back? He just did our quarterly.

160. It's not Wendell. It's his boss, Anita,

161. and she's carrying a big thermos.

162. - Babe, we got a problem. - It's okay.

163. Hey, you know what's better than going to drinks right now?

164. Going to drinks later. We're not gonna get more tired.

165. Thank you, babe. This will take no time at all.

166. Getting through an audit quickly is my superpower

167. - because I'm organized and I'm honest. - Just like in the bedroom.

168. Before we start our Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour,

169. be sure to sign your waivers.

170. They're not for your safety, they're to protect my intellectual property.

171. This is my life's work.

172. This is so cool.

173. That girl's way older than me and she's here with her dad.

174. She's really close with her dad.

175. Yeah, she is. Like, too close.

176. All right. If we're ready, then let's start the tour

177. by saying what they do at the beginning of every Home Alone movie. "Kevin!"

178. - All right, say it with me. "Kevin!" - Kevin!

179. You guys are a great group.

180. I hope the rest of the tour is as good as this.

181. Hey, have you noticed how totally fine I am in the vast, vast darkness?

182. - So cool. So natural. - So natural.

183. Okay, good. I'm glad you noticed. Now, shh! Let's pay attention to the tour.

184. Zoom's Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour

185. So, let's zoom in on a little-known fact

186. Joe Pesci slapped his stunt double here But then they became best friends

187. And everybody called them Double Trouble

188. Molly, slap me in the face. No, no, take my picture.

189. Little-known fact The script once featured a subplot

190. Where the Pigeon Lady helps solve a murder In the Diana Ross Playground

191. Weirdly the same murder happened A month later in real life so they cut it

192. Whoa. Get a picture of me by the murder slide.

193. Zoom's Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour

194. So, let's zoom in on a little-known fact

195. In the film you saw Kevin escaped the bad guys

196. By stowing away on the back Of one of these carriages

197. What you didn't get to see Was one of the horses going into labor

198. And Macaulay Culkin Delivered that horse baby

199. And they caught it on film But it wasn't part of the story

200. Now it's just part of Zoom's Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour

201. Everybody, sing it.

202. Zoom's Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Deleted Scenes Tour

203. Do you want a picture by the carriage?

204. I think I just wanna sit and think about the bigness of everything.

205. - I can't find it anywhere. - Well, it can't have gone far.

206. - Wait, wait. No! - No. No, no, no!

207. - Stop that, you idiot! We're down here. - This dumpster shouldn't be right here

208. No, no, no, no, no

209. I can't move it.

210. - That's not good. - No service. You?

211. We have the same plan, so no.

212. Great, now we're trapped down here. I've gotta get to that ceremony.

213. If I'm not there, I won't get my award, and I won't get to crap on the park.

214. And you'll have waxed my neck for nothing.

215. Wait. You know what I bet this is?

216. This is one of the old Prohibition tunnels.

217. It went to a speakeasy that used to be where the Dagmont is now.

218. Wow, history's really coming alive.

219. - Look, there's a door. - Where we going?

220. I'm gonna get us out of here, Miss This-is-probably-all-your-fault.

221. I've got an award to receive.

222. Owen's never had a weird surprise nighttime audit before,

223. but he's not freaking out. He's got nothing to hide.

224. I mean, look at that walk. That's the walk of a confident man.

225. Or a man who has to pee confidently.

226. Here's the rest of 'em. I'm not quite sure why any of this is happening,

227. but you'll find every "T" is crossed, every "I" is dotted.

228. Except for the capital "I".

229. Anyway, like I was saying, this really isn't necessary.

230. Wendell's audits are very thorough.

231. He's like a human calculator with the friendliest eyes.

232. I imagine Wendell's audits are fine.

233. Every once in a while, city employees get what we call a cavity search audit.

234. Like when a dentist searches your mouth for cavities?

235. Yes, if those cavities were money you took that didn't belong to you

236. and you hid it in your butt.

237. Okay. Got it.

238. If anyone in this operation has ever so much as taken a dime

239. and slipped it in their pocket, I'll find it.

240. - I don't work here. I didn't do it. - Paige.

241. Sorry, she's terrifying.

242. Okay, I see you spent $850 on worms last month.

243. - That seems high. - It's a park. A big one.

244. Then I'm gonna need a receipt. A big one.

245. No problemo. Those were discount worms too.

246. I actually saved the park some money when we got those worms.

247. They were floor models. I'm kidding.

248. And I've got all the receipts right here.

249. Okay. "Window screens, woodchips, wood glue."

250. We'll skip over the wood stuff and... here we go.

251. "Worms." The receipts are in chronological order, so...

252. That's weird. Let me just go through them again.

253. Owen's doing a lot of narrating. That's— That's fine.

254. No receipt for $850 worth of worms?

255. I have it. I swear we have it. I definitely have it.

256. Elwood, didn't you get the last shipment?

257. Yeah.

258. Okay, I may have also bought a worm for myself as a pet.

259. That's fine, Elwood, I guess, but where's the receipt for our worms?

260. I may have made it into a temporary worm house to get Dianne home.

261. Who rescued who?

262. And you brought it back? He asked, not at all upset.

263. - I wanna say yes. - Good.

264. I really wanna say yes. I really, really wanna say yes.

265. - Elwood! - I threw it away.

266. Okay.

267. So at least we know there was a receipt and now it's gone. What do we do?

268. Either produce the receipt or produce the items.

269. Well, the worms are in the ground.

270. - Except Dianne. - Except Dianne.

271. Then I guess I'm gonna have to report this as a possible misuse of funds.

272. Wait! We get our worms from Soil Yourself in Brooklyn.

273. I'm sure I can get you another copy of the receipt first thing tomorrow morning.

274. That's not how a cavity search audit works.

275. Here's the deal. They send me. I come up with stuff. It's real stuff.

276. They told me tonight, go to you. I come to you. I find a missing receipt.

277. So I'm gonna file my report, then go to my salsa class.

278. Oh, no. That sounds bad. Not the salsa. That's good for you. The other stuff.

279. I really don't want you to file that report.

280. Things are weird right now between the park and the city.

281. - I don't know what's going on. - Yeah, really weird.

282. Okay. What if I can get you that receipt in the next hour?

283. Less than an hour.

284. I mean, an hour. Sorry, I'm trying to help.

285. Anita, when's salsa class?

286. 8:00. 7:45 if you want to dance with Pedro.

287. And everyone wants to dance with Pedro.

288. Get ready to dance with Pedro. Or possibly the next best guy.

289. Be right back. Don't go anywhere.

290. Wow, you sounded pretty confident in there just now.

291. - I would've thought you'd be— - Freaking out. I'm freaking out.

292. Okay. It's okay. It'll be okay. Mama's here.

293. Sorry about date night.

294. Dates are for dopes.

295. There's no way we'll make it in time.

296. Well, we've got two choices. We can try or we can kill her.

297. I'll follow your lead whichever way you go with it.

298. Now, as night falls, we move on to the most exciting part of the tour.

299. The deleted night scenes. Come, let's amble into The Ramble.

300. You may be wondering Why they deleted these night scenes

301. Was it because they were too scary?

302. You be the judge

303. Wait, what's happening?

304. Sure, Home Alone 2 was rated PG

305. But the unreleased director's cut Was a hard PG

306. For spookiness

307. Remember when pigeons Attacked the bad guys

308. Bet you never saw the deleted night scene

309. When they were attacked again by bats

310. Okay. This is getting a little freaky.

311. Listen, do you hear that?

312. Those aren't normal bats

313. Some say the production company snuck them in from Woodland, New Jersey,

314. and when filming was over, they released them into the park to breed.

315. - This isn't fun anymore. - Don't be scared. I'm sure there's no—

316. - Bats! - No, no, no, no, no, no!

317. Cole, where are you going? We're supposed to stay with the tour.

318. Okay, we went from a weird tunnel to a weird storeroom. That's progress.

319. Locked. That's not good. Hold that door.

320. Great. Perfect.

321. Yup. Thanks.

322. Helen, fight them. Use those big feet.

323. Cole! Stop running!

324. You're my responsibility. You can't take off like that.

325. I don't wanna die.

326. I get it. That bat swarm was crazy.

327. One of them bumped into the back of my neck.

328. Hold on. Did you get bumped or bitten?

329. - Bumped. Why? - Because you're scratching, Molly.

330. Seems like you got bit, which could only mean one thing.

331. - Rabies? - You're a vampire!

332. Cole, I'm not a vampire. Come bat— Back!

333. - I didn't mean to say bat. - I heard "bat."

334. You know what I meant!

335. Oh, great.

336. - Oh, good. Lots of cabs. - So many cabs.

337. Oh, boy.

338. - Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, no. - Taxi!

339. Okay. We can still make it to Brooklyn and back in an hour. Right? Right?

340. Nope.

341. Okay, don't panic, gotta find My little brother in the darkness

342. I'm not panicking

343. So, hey, I blew it Told my parents I could handle this alone

344. But look what's happening

345. Had a few complications What a lesson in expectations

346. In the park, in the dark Let my little brother down

347. Unprepared, he was scared and fled

348. I did not account for this Didn't count on this

349. I did not account for this, no

350. In the bats' habitats In the middle of the night

351. Wasn't fun, had to run

352. I did not account for this Didn't count on this

353. I did not account for this, no

354. Looks like we're screwed, this audit Snuck up and it bit us in the worms

355. But keep on pedaling!

356. No subways running Now we're gunning it to stop

357. That city gal from all her meddling

358. Fighting with transportation To get documentation

359. In the rain, what a pain But our butts are on the line

360. Took a look at our books and no

361. We did not account for this Didn't count on this

362. - How did worms amount to this? - Yeah, I don't know.

363. Out of hand, wasn't planned But I'll try to set it right

364. - Got a goal - Hello, Cole?

365. Oh, no

366. I did not account for this Didn't count on this

367. I did not account for this, no

368. I saw their beady eyes And they had a secret plan

369. And they wanted me to die So I turned around and ran

370. This should've been a cinch I'm a semi-grown adult

371. They should trust me in a pinch But he's gone and it's my fault

372. Why does Elwood have a worm for a pet Named Dianne?

373. Should we talk about that?

374. - Let's not. - Yeah, you're right.

375. Gotta go, didn't know That my life would end tonight

376. - Dianne - Hit a snag, what a drag

377. I did not account for this Didn't count on this

378. - My beautiful worm, Dianne - I did not account for this, no

379. Stop! That's it!

380. I did not account for this

381. Dianne

382. Can you see my bra?

383. Let's just say... I don't know the right answer. I definitely can.

384. I have that bra. And I have a mole like that. How can I help you guys?

385. I need receipts for some worms I purchased. Can you reprint them?

386. Sure, no problem. About what time did you buy them?

387. About three o'clock last month?

388. - Last month? Sorry. - No.

389. Please? There has to be something we can do, bra sister?

390. - I guess you could ask Roz. - Who's Roz?

391. My manager, but she's leaving.

392. Roz. Roz! Hello. Quick question for you.

393. Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

394. If I don't help my kid sell these scented candles,

395. his class won't go on their trip to Gettysburg.

396. First of all, he should be selling those candles, not you.

397. What is he learning from this?

398. I just wanna be involved in his life.

399. I have two kids. I totally understand.

400. Mother to mother, can you help my husband before you go?

401. Mother to mother, can I unload these candles on you?

402. One of the benefits of being a narrator is you can do your job from anywhere.

403. So, like, while it's raining, I can stay here where it's dry and safe.

404. No! Bats! Bats!

405. Damn it. I'm gonna miss my award ceremony.

406. I finally won something.

407. - I mean, you paid for it. - That's not the point.

408. Might as well pass the time drinking some Prohibition bathtub gin

409. or whatever this is.

410. "Margarita mix?" This is modern hooch.

411. Wait a minute. We must be under the Dagmont.

412. - Whoops. - Great.

413. Smells like spring break in here now.

414. - Oops. - What are you doing?

415. - I'm screwing my competitor. - Right, of course.

416. If that prauditor does her job, then I'm screwing the park too.

417. This could end up a pretty good night after all.

418. Even if we die down here?

419. Oh, right. Well, evens it out.

420. You wanna do one?

421. I'm not gonna pretend that didn't feel a little good.

422. Helen, we should do this more often.

423. If no one comes down here, then I think that was our one shot.

424. Crap. Should've saved some to drink.

425. Cole! There you are.

426. Funny, accusing me of being a vampire when you're hanging like one.

427. I'm stuck. Help me. No, wait. Get away from me!

428. Cole, for the last time, I'm not a vampire.

429. That's exactly what a vampire would say.

430. Cole, calm down.

431. Let me help you not be upside down

432. and then you can look at my neck and examine it for bite marks.

433. Sorry, you're gonna have to take off your pants. I can't do this.

434. You could have also walked around the fence like this.

435. This way was faster.

436. I can see that.

437. - Look, any bite marks? - No.

438. - Sorry. Sorry. - Don't do that.

439. Oh, shoot. We have, like, ten minutes to get home.

440. Maybe it'd be faster if we flew?

441. Do you know where we are?

442. Central Park?

443. Right, but where? I don't recognize this. Maybe because it's night?

444. If we're late, that's it.

445. Mom and Dad won't ever let us go out alone again.

446. We'll be going to the movies with them till we're 40.

447. People will point and say, "Hey, look.

448. There are those 40-year-old kids who are always with their parents."

449. Should we just call Mom and Dad and tell them to come get us?

450. No. No, dang it. No. Listen, pal.

451. I thought you were a fan of the Home Alone movies.

452. I am. Maybe the biggest.

453. Kevin McAllister was in the park by himself

454. and he didn't call his family at all.

455. Never mind that they didn't have cell phones and his family was in Florida.

456. What did he do? He turned that trip into the biggest adventure of his life.

457. He had the courage to stand up to those sticky bandits

458. and he was alone a lot longer than us.

459. You're right. We have to get home. Alone.

460. The two of us. Follow me.

461. So cold. Bones so cold.

462. Helen. Stop using your warmth for your own body.

463. - Scooch closer and give it to me. - No.

464. It's better if you don't. You'd just be stealing mine.

465. I know your tricks. Why hasn't anyone come yet?

466. Judging by the dust on everything, no one's coming. Ever.

467. I can't breathe. Is this normally how I breathe?

468. - Yup. - It's so sad.

469. I haven't accomplished what I wanted in my life.

470. I didn't buy the park, I never married. I never had children.

471. You wanted those things?

472. No. All I ever wanted was the park, but I didn't wanna sound selfish just now.

473. I guess if I have to die trapped in a storage room

474. underground next to someone, I could do a lot worse.

475. Thanks, Bitsy.

476. Okay, you ruined it.

477. There's a knife in my boot. I can't reach it.

478. You take it, cut yourself open, and I'll try to sleep inside you.

479. You have a knife in your boot?

480. What? You don't? That's embarrassing.

481. We can use this. I'm gonna pry those hinge pins out.

482. I thought my idea was pretty good too, but whatever.

483. Not bad but also not great. C plus.

484. We might have time to make the ceremony. Wait! There's a cockroach in your hair.

485. Sorry, that's just your hair. You almost had a friend.

486. Here's your knife. Catch.

487. - What? - I mean, here.

488. Well, that's an hour.

489. They're not here, so I'm probably going to miss my class.

490. Will you thank your boss for ruining my life?

491. Whoa, okay. I'll tell him but that doesn't seem fair.

492. I'm sorry. It's just when I miss my salsa class, I get real cranky.

493. I get it. I've been kicking myself for throwing away that receipt.

494. I mean, Owen trusts me and I really let him down.

495. And now he'll probably fire me.

496. He'll probably get fired too. Sorry, but I gotta call the mayor.

497. Oh, God. I cost him his job.

498. Maybe we'll look for work together. Maybe we'll start a new park.

499. Five to eight. No bueno. I should be hearing salsa music right now.

500. I think this is salsa I'm not sure

501. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

502. She can't resist.

503. I don't know the moves, but I'll be happy to try and do them with you.

504. Go limp.

505. So, what's the difference between salsa and flamenco?

506. Talk with your hips.

507. Mom, Dad, we're home.

508. We're late but there's a really good reason.

509. It has to do with bats, and Molly was a vampire briefly but she's not anymore.

510. It's totally fine, I think.

511. Also, I'm not wearing pants and it's kind of a new thing I'm doing

512. and you guys are gonna love it.

513. Where are they? Hello?

514. We got it! Okay.

515. - You're flexible, Elwood. - I just look that way right now.

516. One receipt for $850 worth of worms.

517. - Okay. Great. - That's it?

518. - Wow, really? - Yup. The receipt's all I needed.

519. I'll call the mayor and tell him that his park manager is an honest man.

520. An organized and honest man... in the bedroom. Up top.

521. And that one of his workers has unbelievable natural rhythm.

522. And fragrant deodorant? Or actually, what am I smelling?

523. You're smelling 20 scented candles.

524. Lavender Mist-ery, and Fresh Gumbo, which I don't know if I like.

525. - You want one? - No.

526. See you next audit.

527. Sorry how our night turned out.

528. That was the best date night ever.

529. We went to Brooklyn. We bought a buttload of candles.

530. Plus I bet we have something to drink at home.

531. We have the half bottle of champagne with the foil on top of it

532. from New Year's Eve.

533. What a night. Look at you. You dressed up.

534. Where are you from? Let me guess. New York?

535. Oh, good, he's just started. He's doing his crowd work.

536. Did we get the dirt?

537. We did not get the dirt.

538. I'm going to punch you in the face.

539. I don't want you to do that.

540. Somebody loves tuxes over here. What's that you've got there? A napkin?

541. What a crapshow. I need a drink.

542. Martini in a bowl. Wait, no, a bucket. And keep 'em coming.

543. I'm sorry, Miss Brandenham. We don't have martinis.

544. Fine. I'm not picky. I'll take whatever you got.

545. Actually, at this point, we have no alcohol at all.

546. That's impossible. The Brandenham is never out of liquor.

547. Someone broke into our storeroom and smashed it all.

548. - Even the margarita mix. - What?

549. We're living the life

550. We're doing it right We're living the dream, ah, baby

551. We're going all out

552. We're doing it right We're living the dream, ah, baby

553. Gonna walk to the edge of the world Let's have some fun

554. Gonna dance till the end of time Let's turn it up

555. Let's make life a movie And charge our friends to come

556. 'Cause we're living tonight

557. We're living the life

558. We're doing it right We're living the dream, ah, baby

559. We're going all out

560. We're doing it right We're living the dream, ah, baby

561. Gonna walk to the edge of the world Let's have some fun

562. Gonna dance till the end of time Let's turn it up

563. Let's make life a movie And charge our friends to come

564. 'Cause we're living tonight