1. I love mornings in the park.
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2. The light through the trees,
the birds and the squirrels.
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3. Is that a squirrel?
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4. What the hell am I looking at?
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5. Anyway, so peaceful, so tranquil.
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6. I mean, outside it is.
Inside there, it's not.
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7. Where are my shorts?
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8. They're in the dryer. Remember?
I was gonna wash, you were gonna fold.
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9. Gotta get 'em out.
They're gonna be wrinkly.
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10. Mom, my heart is broken.
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11. And I can't find my shoes.
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12. I should probably not go to school, right?
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13. Oh, honey, I know you're sad about
that dog, but you have to go to school.
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14. Sorry. Your shoes were stinking up
the kitchen, so I threw them somewhere.
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15. Oh, God. The smell.
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16. Cole's shoes! They're blocking the stairs.
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17. I'm trapped up here.
I'm gonna try and jump over them.
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18. Molly, hot iron.
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19. - Dad's freaking out.
- I'm not freaking out!
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20. Owen's freaking out because he has a video
conference call with the Park League
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21. in about one minute.
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22. And he thinks it'll look unprofessional
if he's not wearing pants.
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23. Which it will.
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24. Who's the Park League, you ask?
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25. Here's the crazy thing about Central Park.
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26. They get about 90% of their money
from the Park League,
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27. which basically is nice rich people
who got together in the '70s
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28. to turn this place around.
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29. It used to look like this.
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30. No, I won't cut my hair, Dad!
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31. But now it looks like this.
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32. Which you knew already 'cause of pictures
and postcards of Central Park.
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33. I bet you're saying,
"Why tell me all this, Mr. Handsome,
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34. albeit, slightly unhealthy, Busker?
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35. Why show flashbacks
and talk about leagues?
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36. Is it a super league of some kind?
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37. Is this a superhero story?"
Well, kind of.
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38. See, Owen will be tested today
in a way he didn't expect.
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39. Molly truly wants to be a superhero
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40. and just might get her chance
along with her brother, Cole.
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41. And Paige is gonna end up
right in the middle of the action too.
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42. Even though, at first, you'll be like...
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43. It'll involve the Park League
and the city and...
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44. Just wait. Just wait.
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45. My video call is in, like,
T-minus two minutes, and I'm shortless.
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46. Honey, the camera's not gonna see
below your waist,
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47. unless the Park League people
insist on looking at your legs.
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48. And who can blame 'em?
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49. Give us a quick strut.
One for Mama. Come on.
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50. - Paige, no.
- Come on.
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51. Give me a quick hit just to get me going.
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52. Okay. I'm late. I'm off to work.
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53. In that wrinkly blouse?
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54. Oh, God. You're right.
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55. This doesn't scream
real deal news reporter.
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56. This screams sad, frumpy lady
with no mirrors in her house.
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57. Okay, do me. Do me, please. Real quick.
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58. So many parent body parts
on display right now.
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59. Paige, I have a video conference
in one minute.
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60. Everybody, out! Out!
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61. Hey. How come Mom doesn't have to wear
a shirt? Mine's coming off.
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62. - Good morning, everyone.
- Whoa, Owen. Little close, huh, buddy?
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63. We can see up your nose.
Is that what you were going for?
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64. There we go. Is that better?
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65. It's less personal.
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66. Right. So, you all know a lot of plants—
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67. Owen, was there a mugging yesterday
in Skater's Circle?
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68. Yes. A tiny mugging. No one hurt.
Like a mini-mug.
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69. I love mini things.
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70. Should we be concerned?
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71. That's a busy spot.
Lots of people around usually.
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72. No. I'm headed over there now
to check it out this morning.
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73. Everything's smooth.
Everything's under control.
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74. - I smell burning.
- No, no, no!
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75. Your tighty whities are mighty tighty.
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76. Good Lord!
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77. These are the offices of Paige's
newspaper, What's New, New York?
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78. It's the city's most absorbent paper
three years running.
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79. I have got a ton of ideas
for my first hard-hitting news story.
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80. Idea one: I go after the Mafia. Idea two—
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81. Cover the City Council
Contracts Committee meeting.
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82. What? Contracts committee?
That's so boring.
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83. It's hyperlocal.
That's a good angle for us.
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84. The big papers have dropped
that kind of coverage.
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85. Hyperlocal? I think maybe
that only applies to vegetables.
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86. Paige, your editor is giving you
an assignment on the first day
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87. after he agreed to let you cover news.
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88. - Fine!
- Yeah. You got cream cheese on my door.
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89. I'm coming back for it! There. Happy?
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90. Oh, no. It's Sewerpipe Mike!
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91. We have no one to blame but ourselves.
We created him.
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92. Don't put grease down the drain, people.
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93. And don't flush baby wipes!
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94. He's almost 40% baby wipe!
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95. But it's you I'm gonna put down for a nap.
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96. Can't get free!
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97. Hold on!
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98. Nice try.
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99. Five-second rewind activate.
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100. Hold on!
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101. Nice thinking. Gas dissolves grease, huh?
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102. Yes. It's a powerful solvent.
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103. Just wash really well.
It'll dry out your beautiful skin.
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104. Did you say my beautiful skin?
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105. - What?
- What was that?
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106. Five-second rewind activate.
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107. Gas dissolves grease, huh?
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108. Yes. It's a powerful solvent.
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109. Just wash really well.
It'll dry out your skin.
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110. And no one smoke, in general,
but especially right now.
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111. Thanks, Fista-Puffs. You're so great
at everything and not awkward at all.
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112. Wait, what? What do you mean
"not awkward at all"?
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113. Oh, I mean, you're just not awkward.
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114. I know. But when you say that,
it makes me think I am awkward.
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115. No, no, no.
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116. Sigh.
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117. Feeling sad, I take it?
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118. I get it. I get it. The heart, it's...
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119. It's tricky stuff. Trust me. I know.
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120. How do you know?
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121. Are you serious? How about hundreds
of drawings of a boy I've talked to once?
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122. No offense, but I really don't think
our relationships are in the same league.
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123. One is a love pure and true and eternal.
And one is your thing.
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124. Yep. Thanks.
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125. Sorry. You came outta nowhere.
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126. You probably don't think
that you came outta nowhere.
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127. You probably had a clear plan
of where you were going to go.
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128. Okay. I see by your eyes that
you would like to get away from here,
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129. so I'm just gonna sit back down
and put my arms over my head
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130. and sink into a hole.
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131. Here I go.
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132. Did that sound as bad as I think it did?
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133. Did you think it sounded really bad?
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134. Another day of this
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135. Living in a made-up world where I fit
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136. I know I can dominate
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137. More than two-dimensional space
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138. Did I just break that? I'm sorry.
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139. And if I had my way, I could surprise them
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140. I'd flip the script and say
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141. Everybody else's lines, like
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142. Hello. Good morning to you, fine sir.
You're looking well.
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143. Why am I doing an accent?
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144. Or yeah. Sports. I mean, right?
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145. I wouldn't get tongue-tied, get nervous
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146. But he's so tall
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147. How old is he?
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148. She's gorgeous
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149. Is it too much to ask for?
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150. I wanna be more
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151. I wanna be
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152. A superhero
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153. Watch me fly
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154. Anywhere that I want to go
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155. And you can give me all your problems
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156. 'Cause you know I'll solve them
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157. It's a secret everybody ought to know
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158. Weirdos make great superheroes
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159. Weirdos make great superheroes
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160. See, now it's catching on
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161. We're in our very own personal Comic-Con
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162. And everyone's invited
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163. Yeah!
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164. Weirdos united
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165. And I can be with my true love
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166. Shampagne, here I come
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167. - Loving a dog romantically is very cool.
- Yeah.
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168. Weird is the only rule
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169. And I
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170. Wanna be a superhero
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171. Watch me fly
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172. Anywhere that I want to go
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173. - And you can give me all your problems
- I'll give you all my problems
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174. - 'Cause you know I'll solve them
- 'Cause you know I'll solve them
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175. Weird is super
And now you know
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176. - Weirdos make great superheroes
- Weirdos make great...
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177. Weirdos make great superheroes
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178. I just need to see him.
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179. But he's all the way up in that penthouse,
so it's impossible.
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180. - Nothing's impossible.
- Did your voice just get really weird?
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181. Listen, Cole. After school,
we are going to the Brandenham Hotel.
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182. And I'm gonna get you up
in that penthouse, gosh darn it.
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183. Whoa, girl. Look at you. All confident.
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184. I know. I'm trying something.
I think it's going really well.
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185. You're gonna see Shampagne again.
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186. Do the chairs look all right?
Are they too close together?
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187. Do meetings still have chairs,
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188. or should we be like
those tech companies and stand?
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189. Should we order a foosball table?
What do we do?
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190. - The chairs are fine. Calm down.
- I am calm!
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191. We're about to have $500 billion
in one room.
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192. We gotta knock
these bozos' wieners off.
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193. - Now, tweeze me while I get pumped up.
- Fine.
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194. Not my eyebrows. Start with my moles.
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195. Fat Man first, then Little Boy,
then get my chin.
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196. Oh, this one's a fighter.
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197. Be the ball. Bring it home.
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198. I hope they don't talk over you
like the last meeting.
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199. They didn't talk over me.
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200. They just kept saying words
while I was saying words.
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201. Right. It's just— I mean,
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202. sometimes it seemed like those investors
were just outright ignoring you.
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203. Well, I'm not going to let them this time.
They will respect me and fear me.
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204. Can we talk about the dog
in the BabyBjörn?
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205. You heard the dog therapist.
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206. This is to help recreate the bond
that got broken
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207. when he was so traumatized by being free—
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208. I mean, being out there.
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209. No wonder someone got mugged up here.
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210. There's no one around.
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211. Where is everyone? People skate here,
right? Like, all the time?
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212. Yeah, you know, not so much anymore.
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213. - What? Since when?
- Well, since Glorious Gary stopped coming.
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214. He's really the heart of the scene,
you know.
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215. I know he's the heart of the scene.
I've known Gary for years.
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216. - It's Glorious Gary.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glorious Gary.
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217. Did I ever love to watch that man
move on eight wheels.
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218. And when he'd shoot the moon... Exquisite.
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219. But you never liked those skaters,
did you?
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220. Well, "never liked" is a little strong.
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221. I liked the skaters. I just didn't like
how they treated the place.
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222. - All their gum wrappers.
- The gum wrappers?
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223. Yeah. They tossed gum wrappers everywhere.
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224. It drove me crazy.
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225. But if Glorious Gary and his crew
had been here,
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226. maybe the mugging wouldn't have happened.
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227. Oh, you're walking over there. Okay.
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228. Hey, Owen. Maybe you and Glorious Gary
should, I don't know, bury the hatchet.
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229. I know where he works.
You could go see him and apologize.
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230. - For what?
- For being uptight and uncool in general.
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231. I wasn't uptight! I wasn't uptight!
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232. Waste treatment disposal plant number five
needs a repainting.
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233. We have multiple bids.
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234. Valve replacements
on the Murray Hill fire hydrants.
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235. We have seven bids.
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236. - Did I miss anything?
- Yes.
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237. You missed a fistfight between
Councilman Collins and Councilman Kim.
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238. Wow. When was that?
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239. 1998.
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240. Oh, well. I'm gonna go back
to paying a lot of attention.
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241. Okay. So Paige isn't excited yet,
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242. but the meeting she's covering
is very important.
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243. Trust me.
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244. By the way, guess who took my advice
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245. and went to go make peace
with Glorious Gary?
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246. Which is surprising because Owen really
doesn't leave the park if he can help it.
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247. I mean, he doesn't have real-life clothes.
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248. Here we go. Easy-peasy.
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249. Oh, God! Okay, oncoming cars.
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250. Wait for the walking sign to
walk out of the park. Right, right, right.
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251. Do it while we can
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252. What are you doing here?
This isn't your beat.
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253. Mr. Lead Detective
from the Special Gum Wrapper Unit.
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254. Nice to see you too, Gary.
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255. Look, I got boom boxes to fix here.
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256. So I really don't need
any of your crabby crab face.
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257. I don't have crabby crab face.
If anyone has crabby crab face, it's you.
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258. Well, shouldn't I? You hassled me
every time I put on my skates.
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259. You didn't respect the park!
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260. We know when we're not wanted.
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261. I heard from Disco Doug that
you wanted to rip up the pavement
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262. and plant flowers or something.
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263. Yeah. 'Cause it's a park.
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264. And your rules. Your crazy rules!
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265. My rules weren't crazy.
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266. - You killed the scene.
- I didn't know gum was a scene.
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267. - Get outta my shop.
- It's not your shop, Gary!
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268. It says "Larry's Stereo Repair"
on the sign.
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269. Well, Larry's my best friend,
so it's like my shop.
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270. Your name is Gary and you have
a best friend named Larry?
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271. Yeah! So what?
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272. That's— I don't even know
what to say about that.
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273. Out!
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274. That went well. I'll make some calls.
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275. Don't worry about it. Let's keep moving.
Let's keep moving.
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276. Hello, every money— body. Everybody.
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277. Sorry. Thank you for coming.
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278. What if I were to tell you
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279. that you could get in on the ground floor
of the biggest real estate deal
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280. in the history of the world?
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281. Hi. Quick question over here, Bitsy.
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282. Are you wearing a dog?
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283. - It's Shampagne.
- Yes, please.
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284. But why are you wearing a dog?
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285. It's Shampagne. He was traumatized.
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286. It's a whole thing. Don't worry about it.
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287. I'm not gonna lie.
It's a little distracting.
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288. No, it's not! It's perfectly normal.
Now...
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289. Damn it. Hold still.
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290. - Take him out of here.
- Like, to a farm?
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291. - No. To his room.
- Fine.
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292. - You're too nice.
- All right.
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293. Oh, son of a bitch.
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294. Why has it always been like this?
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295. I wish I could forget the past
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296. The kids at school picked me last
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297. I wasn't tall, I wasn't fast
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298. I was small and a total outcast
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299. Maybe it's time I forgive them.
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300. No.
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301. I'll make 'em pay proper respect to me
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302. Pay for not accepting me
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303. Pay for neglecting me
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304. Pay for their sins
God, where do I begin?
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305. My brother was the golden child
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306. He taunted and reviled me
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307. I envied Little Orphan Annie
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308. The only person meaner than my father
Was the nanny
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309. I'll make 'em pay for their condescension
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310. Pay with their full attention
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311. Pay for the privilege of kissing my toes
As I sit on my throne
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312. I shower them with golden opportunities
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313. But no one bites
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314. They belittle me
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315. I'm constantly ignored
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316. And no one sees my genius
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317. I'd like to be adored
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318. Must I grow a penis?
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319. Seriously.
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320. I'll make them pay
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321. Tell the bankers to wire
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322. Pay to build my empire
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323. Pay
My desire is to raise up the rent
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324. And squeeze every cent
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325. They will pay
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326. Oh, they will pay
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327. And they won't dismiss me
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328. I'm Bitsy, I'm ritzy, I'm glitzy
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329. They can't resist me
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330. I'll make them pay
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331. Hello. Are we guests at the hotel?
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332. May I see your keycard?
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333. Oh, welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Ottomeier.
Did you enjoy the museum?
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334. You should. You paid for it.
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335. He knows everyone.
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336. I mean, hey. It'll be fine.
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337. I'm gonna create a diversion. You slip in
and then head straight to the elevators.
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338. - Straight up to the elevators. Right.
- Relax. Relax.
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339. The most important thing is to look rich.
Like you belong.
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340. Show me your rich pose.
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341. No, not like that. Do it better.
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342. What is that?
What are you doing with your hands?
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343. I'm throwing all my money in the air
like confetti.
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344. Maybe don't do that.
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345. Or, I don't know, try it.
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346. Anyway, get on the elevator
with someone who has a keycard.
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347. Then pat your pockets
and say something like,
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348. "Mine must be in my dinner jacket."
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349. I don't know.
I guess that seems pretty doable.
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350. - Great. Let's go.
- Wait.
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351. What if Shampagne doesn't remember me?
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352. Well, yeah. That would hurt.
But there's only one way to find out.
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353. Okay. I was kinda hoping you'd be like,
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354. "Of course he'll remember you.
You're great." Blah, blah, blah.
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355. Oh, totally. That too. That too.
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356. Now get ready to strut in there
like a rich, pompous little gentleman.
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357. Sneezing fit.
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358. Do you have a Kleenex?
Does anyone have a Kleenex?
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359. Hey, here's a tissue for your issue.
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360. Thank you.
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361. Oh, wow.
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362. Bear with me, guys.
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363. It's fighting me.
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364. Okay, I think we got 'em. Thank you.
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365. Oh, boy. No, thanks.
That's not how this transaction works.
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366. I believe the show starts at 8:00.
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367. - Oh, that's great. Well, we'll meet you.
- Oh, good.
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368. Yes, well, that's about it.
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369. - Fabulous.
- I got them.
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370. Must have left my dinner in other jacket.
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371. Yes.
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372. I have a feeling
you need my help in not being here.
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373. Hey, I know where I know you from.
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374. You're that kid.
The one who found Shampagne.
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375. I just wanted to see him again.
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376. We bonded, like the most you can bond.
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377. And there were things left unsaid.
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378. Listen, I'm sorry.
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379. I would tell you
you can see him when they walk him.
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380. But he's on lockdown. No walks.
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381. They put down Wee-Wee Pads on the balcony.
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382. They even have a trainer
who goes up to work him out up there.
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383. - A trainer?
- Yeah.
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384. A lot of stretching,
Pilates, core work, you know.
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385. He doesn't need core work.
His core's perfect!
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386. Sorry, kid.
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387. Here. In case you need it.
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388. - Thanks. Oh! It's wet.
- Yeah.
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389. So, we're gonna try this again
with Owen and Glorious Gary.
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390. And this time, I'll be here to help
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391. with my always good words
and delightful dimples.
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392. Do I have dimples?
I might not have dimples.
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393. Owen. Glorious Gary.
Thank you for meeting me here.
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394. I know you spoke earlier,
and it wasn't great.
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395. But, Glorious Gary,
you don't talk with your mouth,
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396. you talk with skates.
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397. No, I also talk with my mouth.
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398. I'm making a good point.
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399. And, Owen, the second you heard
that Glorious Gary wasn't skating up here,
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400. you were upset. I saw it.
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401. And you probably just couldn't say that
to Glorious Gary
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402. because of your litter issues,
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403. which are a total vibe killer.
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404. It's the park rules. Littering's a crime
committed by criminals. But yeah, sure.
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405. So let's come together and skate it out.
Right, Owen?
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406. - Yeah. Wait, what?
- It's the only way to make this right.
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407. I mean, no. I'm not really a skater.
I have a high center of gravity.
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408. Yeah. You're not a skater. You're a hater.
Let's forget it.
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409. It was stupid of me to think
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410. you'd care about something
that wasn't a plant anyway.
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411. Oh, he went there, plant-wise.
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412. Gary, wait.
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413. Glorious Gary, let's skate.
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414. - I'm dying. I'm dying!
- He's fine.
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415. Oh, it hurts. It hurts!
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416. Ow, heart! You son of a bitch!
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417. He just didn't have lunch.
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418. - That's him.
- He heard you.
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419. I can't believe it. What do I do?
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420. - Howl back.
- Oh, right.
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421. He remembers me.
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422. You were right. We did it.
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423. He remembers me
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424. I'm so relieved
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425. He remembers me
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426. I should've believed
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427. He remembers me
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428. We'll be best pals
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429. He remembers me
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430. What a boost in morale
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431. - And I'm feeling like a superhero
- I'm
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432. Weirdos make great superheroes
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433. You can give us all your problems
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434. 'Cause you know we'll solve 'em
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435. It's a secret everybody should know
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436. Weirdos make great superheroes
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437. Weirdos make great superheroes
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438. And now for the final items on the agenda:
the renewals of the city's P3s.
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439. - What are the P3s?
- Public-private partnerships.
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440. Oh, my God. It's more boring when you
say the whole thing. I prefer P3s.
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441. Like the business improvement districts.
Times Square, Bryant Park...
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442. Yeah, I got it. Thanks. Thank you.
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443. Motion to re-ratify
the Union Square partnership.
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444. - All in favor.
- Aye.
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445. Motion to re-ratify the Hudson Yards
Hell's Kitchen Alliance.
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446. - All in favor.
- Aye.
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447. Motion to re-ratify the contract
for the Central Park League.
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448. - All in favor.
- Aye.
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449. No.
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450. What's going on?
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451. Councilman Leo Shallenhammer
just voted no.
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452. But everyone else voted yes.
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453. If the vote's not unanimous,
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454. the Park League contract automatically
goes into a debate period.
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455. So they have 60 days to debate it
and get it ratified.
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456. And if not,
their contract with the city ends.
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457. We're talking about Central Park?
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458. The one that's central?
The park that's in the middle?
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459. Are you really a reporter?
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460. This is huge. Oh, crap.
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461. Downtown, downtown. Two-step. Turn.
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462. Owen, you're not gonna believe this.
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463. The Park League contract is,
I don't know, in debate, or something.
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464. It's a P3 thing. P3 is lingo.
I know a lot of lingo now.
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465. I don't wanna worry you.
Everything is probably okay,
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466. but you should possibly,
totally be worried.
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467. I'm gonna head home.
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468. Is that... Dad?
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469. Oh, my God. That's horrifying. I mean...
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470. Go, Dad!
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471. Is it done?
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472. There's the fist pump.
That's the signal we agreed on.
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473. Helen said it was too big,
but she's a dork.
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474. Anyway, everyone!
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475. The Central Park League contract has just
been put on hold by the City Council.
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476. I feel like you're saying that
like it's a big deal,
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477. but I don't get why it's a big deal.
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478. It means that soon
funds to the park will be cut off.
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479. And when those funds are cut off,
the park will start to die.
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480. And when the park starts to die,
people will turn against it.
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481. And then they will sell.
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482. That is interesting.
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483. You have my attention.
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484. Enjoy your park while you can,
you stupid New Yorkers,
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485. 'cause Bitsy's in the big leagues now.
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486. I just want you to know, Gary, I'm sorry.
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487. The skaters are
as important to the park as plants.
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488. I mean, not as important, but very close.
Kinda close.
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489. Anyway, it'd be great
to have you guys back.
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490. I was just thinking
I'd maybe get rid of those signs.
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491. - They seem kinda—
- Uptight.
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492. I was gonna say wordy, but yeah, that too.
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493. All right. It's a deal.
Now come out here and spread your legs.
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494. - What? Why?
- I'm gonna shoot the moon through them.
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495. - No.
- Yes.
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496. Come on! You have the perfect legs
for a man to shoot the moon under!
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497. Don't waste your gift!
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498. All right. Oh, God.
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499. Moon!
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500. Beautiful.
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501. - It seems like Gary did all the work.
- Just go with it. He needs this.
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502. I like to think
that's how I came outta Mom.
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503. Gross.
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504. We gotta do it while we can
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505. We gotta do it while we can
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506. We gotta do it while we can
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507. There's no time to waste
So take my hand
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508. Let me see the crab walk
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509. My feet are on fire
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510. Let me see the iceberg
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511. I'm just trying not to fall
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512. Let me see the grapevine
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513. Look out below
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514. Let me see the side slide
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515. I'm too young to die
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516. - We gotta do it while we can
- Together
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517. We gotta do it while we can
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518. - We gotta do it while we can
- Together
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519. There's no time to waste
So take my hand
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520. Do the snake walk
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521. Do the hurricane
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522. Do the circle walk
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523. - And the kick fake
- Phew!
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524. Do the toe jam
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525. And the split roll-back
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526. Do the five star
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527. And the backspin
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528. I got you, buddy
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529. I'm sorry I judged you
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530. I really need your moves tonight
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531. I told you don't be uptight
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532. I'm rolling because you
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533. You got me feeling out of sight
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534. When Owen checks his phone
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535. His mind will be blown
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536. And his shorts may be too
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537. He might poop his shorts
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538. Ignorance is bliss
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539. He doesn't know this
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540. He has everything to lose
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541. - We gotta do it while we can
- Together
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542. - We gotta do it while we can
- Do it, do it, do it
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543. - We gotta do it while we can
- Together
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544. There's no time to waste
So take my hand
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545. - We gotta do it while we can
- We gotta do it
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546. We gotta do it while we can
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547. - We gotta do it while we can
- We gotta do it
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548. There's no time to waste
So take my hand
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549. We gotta do it while we can
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550. We gotta do it while we can
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551. We gotta do it while we can
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552. There's no time to waste
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553. So take my hand
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554. We gotta do it now
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555. Do it while we can
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556. Come on and do it
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557. We gotta do it while we can
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558. While we can
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559. - Do it
- So take my hand
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560. Gotta do it while we can
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561. Do it, do it, do it, do it
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562. Hey, yeah
We gotta do it, baby
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563. We gotta do it while
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564. We can
We gotta do—
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