1. Okay, I need to stretch.
Copy !req
2. Really? We just started running,
after 20 minutes of stretching.
Copy !req
3. Maybe we should be
a Pilates couple instead.
Copy !req
4. It's all about the core.
You know, tiny movements.
Copy !req
5. No, we're sticking with something.
You bought so many jogging outfits.
Copy !req
6. - What?
- I saw something.
Copy !req
7. - What?
- It was a fish, I think, but on land.
Copy !req
8. - Some kind of a land fish.
- Okay.
Copy !req
9. It slithered, like,
three feet into the water.
Copy !req
10. Uh-huh. Is this like
when you saw a pigeon riding a turtle?
Copy !req
11. - I did see that.
- Right.
Copy !req
12. Animals give each other rides.
It's a thing.
Copy !req
13. - Animals can be bros.
- Can we just go back to running?
Copy !req
14. I hate running. I hate it.
I'm gonna call somebody.
Copy !req
15. Who? The fish police?
Copy !req
16. I don't know. Maybe.
Copy !req
17. I don't know why we keep trying to do this
at the same time.
Copy !req
18. I like it more than flossing this way.
Copy !req
19. I always end up
with little bits of food in my hair.
Copy !req
20. If my spit is a different color
but we're using the same toothpaste,
Copy !req
21. is that bad?
Copy !req
22. Yes. Oh, God, look at my spit.
Copy !req
23. - Maybe it's fine.
- All right, we better get going.
Copy !req
24. Everyone enjoy your fresh-smelling breath
Copy !req
25. 'cause soon we're all gonna have
spicy cheese bread mouth,
Copy !req
26. and that's a whole different smell.
Copy !req
27. I love that farmers market.
Copy !req
28. I love going as a family.
Copy !req
29. But I just wanna say, if there's
only one spicy cheese bread left,
Copy !req
30. I'm gonna fight all of you for it.
Copy !req
31. - Weapons or bare-knuckle?
- Both.
Copy !req
32. I'm gonna rub it on my butt,
then it's mine.
Copy !req
33. I will eat butt-rubbed spicy cheese bread.
Copy !req
34. - I don't care.
- I like it better.
Copy !req
35. And then when we get back here,
I'm gonna just put in a few hours of work.
Copy !req
36. Hope you guys don't mind.
Copy !req
37. It's a future Pulitzer Prize-winning story
about corruption and scandal and—
Copy !req
38. Who am I kidding? I'm stalled.
I have nothing to go to print with.
Copy !req
39. Mother, please. No negativity
on spicy cheese bread day. It's sacred.
Copy !req
40. No, I know. It's just— It's big stuff.
Copy !req
41. The mayor hates the park.
Bitsy wants to buy the park.
Copy !req
42. And they're both coming after you.
Copy !req
43. Can we just not say
all these things out loud?
Copy !req
44. Doesn't help me
pretend they're not happening,
Copy !req
45. which is how I'd like to deal with them
today and for the rest of my life.
Copy !req
46. That's it, Dad. Healthy modeling.
Copy !req
47. All right, should we all
try to pee at the same time?
Copy !req
48. Family that brushes together
flushes together.
Copy !req
49. Owen?
Copy !req
50. You guys start without me.
I'll jump in after I answer this.
Copy !req
51. Go ahead, Elwood.
Copy !req
52. - Did you say go ahead?
- Yeah, go ahead.
Copy !req
53. - Now?
- Yes.
Copy !req
54. Owen, there's been a sighting.
Something up at the Meer.
Copy !req
55. - Yeah?
- An aggressive... fish?
Copy !req
56. - Yeah?
- That might be a— a snakehead.
Copy !req
57. - What?
- I said a snakehead.
Copy !req
58. No, I heard you.
Copy !req
59. - Oh, you meant "what" like "oh, no."
- Yeah. I'll— I'll come right up there.
Copy !req
60. It's spicy and it's cheesy
And it's going in my tummy—
Copy !req
61. - Dad? What's wrong?
- You'll be right up where?
Copy !req
62. I gotta go up
to the Harlem Meer right now.
Copy !req
63. There might be a... snakehead.
Copy !req
64. Just the head?
Seems like the threat is neutralized.
Copy !req
65. Is it a mafia thing? Or voodoo?
Copy !req
66. No, it's a fish.
They call it the "fish from hell."
Copy !req
67. It's, like, the ultimate invasive species.
Copy !req
68. That's what your mother called me
when we started dating.
Copy !req
69. You're gonna miss spicy cheese bread?
Copy !req
70. I guess so. I have a hell-fish to catch.
Copy !req
71. You know the little baby turtles
That like to play peekaboo?
Copy !req
72. Well, you can kiss them goodbye
If a hell-fish comes through
Copy !req
73. They inflict ecosystem trauma
Copy !req
74. 'Cause they're hangry like piranhas
Copy !req
75. And they gobble up the fauna
Like a fishy Jeffrey Dahmer
Copy !req
76. A snakehead would make a lake dead
Copy !req
77. And all the little lives in liquid
Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish
Copy !req
78. If they invaded
Copy !req
79. It's the only reason I'd miss out
On spicy cheese bread
Copy !req
80. If a hell-fish finds a mate
It'll lay 50,000 eggs a day
Copy !req
81. And will walk from lake to lake
Copy !req
82. On his fins and spread fast
Like the plague
Copy !req
83. It breathes air like a toad
And it lurks in the muck
Copy !req
84. If the hell-fish is really there
Then the pond might be f— screwed!
Copy !req
85. A snakehead would make a lake dead
Copy !req
86. And all the little lives in liquid
Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish
Copy !req
87. If they invaded
Copy !req
88. It's the only reason I'd miss out
On spicy cheese bread
Copy !req
89. We hire experts in ponds
With pond PhDs
Copy !req
90. Who pH balance the ponds
And check on the pond species
Copy !req
91. Repair pond ecology
With fancy pond degrees
Copy !req
92. Making sure the pond turtles
Are feeling super fertile
Copy !req
93. But there'd be environmental catastrophe
If someone put a hell-fish in the Meer
Copy !req
94. I don't think the park ponds
Would persevere
Copy !req
95. No, no, no!
Copy !req
96. A snakehead would make the lake dead
Copy !req
97. - And all the little lives in liquid
- What about the turtles?
Copy !req
98. - What about— What about the ducks?
- Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish
Copy !req
99. - The hell-fish is the only reason
- If they invaded
Copy !req
100. - It's the only reason I'd miss out
- I'd hate to miss out
Copy !req
101. On spicy cheese bread
Copy !req
102. Gosh darn it. I'm coming with you.
I wanna see this thing.
Copy !req
103. - If it's there.
- If it's there.
Copy !req
104. I'm coming too.
If it's there, I wanna draw it.
Copy !req
105. Fista Puffs needs a new monster to fight.
Copy !req
106. I'll come too. I don't wanna be
the only one who doesn't see this thing.
Copy !req
107. You guys'll have all your hell-fish
inside jokes that I won't be a part of.
Copy !req
108. That's not cool.
Copy !req
109. Can't believe I'm choosing
something over SCB.
Copy !req
110. - Stop spelling around me.
- Sorry. Spicy cheese bread.
Copy !req
111. So, the family is off
to see about a snakehead.
Copy !req
112. Speaking of little things
that flop around on land...
Copy !req
113. - What do you mean nobody likes me?
- We did a poll. No one likes you.
Copy !req
114. That's ridiculous. What was the question?
Copy !req
115. "How do you feel about Bitsy Brandenham?"
Copy !req
116. And?
Copy !req
117. And you could choose "like,"
"don't care" or "yuck."
Copy !req
118. - Seriously?
- Yeah, it's science.
Copy !req
119. I'm flirty, fun and feisty.
Copy !req
120. Helen, tell him.
Copy !req
121. - What'd you say? Fussy?
- Feisty.
Copy !req
122. - Oh. There you have it.
- Whatever.
Copy !req
123. Who wants to be liked anyway?
That's what alcohol is for.
Copy !req
124. This is a Bloody Mayor-y. Get it?
Because you're the mayor?
Copy !req
125. See? You don't like a person
who says that? That's delightful.
Copy !req
126. Right, but the thing is
Copy !req
127. we can't do the whole park deal
if you're the face of it
Copy !req
128. and it turns out
New York doesn't like your—
Copy !req
129. - Don't say it.
- Face.
Copy !req
130. But I have an idea.
I've got a likability consultant.
Copy !req
131. She's expensive but she's good,
and she likes a challenge.
Copy !req
132. A challenge? Does no one understand
that I am enchanting?
Copy !req
133. You know that East Side Strangler
that they just caught?
Copy !req
134. He did better than you in the poll.
Copy !req
135. What? You asked people
how they felt about a strangler?
Copy !req
136. - Yes, to get a baseline.
- And I'm below it?
Copy !req
137. You're it. We made a new baseline.
The strangler came out okay.
Copy !req
138. I could sell the park
to the East Side Strangler today.
Copy !req
139. Fine. Call your precious consultant.
But I'm likable.
Copy !req
140. - Yep. Yep.
- You're stupid.
Copy !req
141. It was this big,
and it was on the bank there.
Copy !req
142. And then it walked back
into the water like this.
Copy !req
143. - Like this?
- Yeah, but more like...
Copy !req
144. - Like erotic?
- Kind of.
Copy !req
145. Do you think the fish was trying
to be erotic, or it can't help it?
Copy !req
146. It just naturally is.
Copy !req
147. A little of both maybe.
Copy !req
148. Oh, my God.
He needs glasses. And he's color-blind.
Copy !req
149. And he hit his head this morning
on the towel bar.
Copy !req
150. So you have to take all this
with a grain of salt.
Copy !req
151. I had brain surgery recently too.
You wanna tell them about that?
Copy !req
152. - You believe me, right?
- Show us the walk one more time.
Copy !req
153. It was like...
Copy !req
154. This is what I think it might look like.
Copy !req
155. - What's it saying?
- It's saying, "My mama didn't love me!"
Copy !req
156. A complicated backstory.
Copy !req
157. There it is! Oh.
Copy !req
158. There it is! No, that's just a stick.
Copy !req
159. Hi, Marvin.
Copy !req
160. - Paige?
- Yes?
Copy !req
161. I'm looking at the layout
for tomorrow's paper.
Copy !req
162. - That's fun.
- There's nothing from you.
Copy !req
163. And yet,
you work for the paper as a writer.
Copy !req
164. Marvin, let me explain.
Copy !req
165. Are we about to have to talk
about your Bitsy story?
Copy !req
166. Yes, the Bitsy story.
It's huge. It's a major scandal.
Copy !req
167. Paige, I know. But at the moment,
it's all unprintable, unsourced dead ends.
Copy !req
168. And the paper you work for
is called What's New, New York?
Copy !req
169. It's not called
"Unprintable Dead Ends, New York."
Copy !req
170. There it is! Oh, cup. There it is!
Nope, same cup. There it is! Nope.
Copy !req
171. Yeah, that's Dad.
Copy !req
172. - What's that? What am I hearing?
- I'm up at the Harlem Meer with my family.
Copy !req
173. Owen's on alert 'cause there might be
a snakehead in the Meer.
Copy !req
174. The fish? The fish that walks on land?
Frankenfish?
Copy !req
175. Yeah, eats everything. Yeah.
Copy !req
176. - That's a great story. Write that.
- What?
Copy !req
177. That there might be a snakehead
in the Harlem Meer.
Copy !req
178. We don't know if it's really here.
Copy !req
179. That's okay.
You're up there looking, right?
Copy !req
180. "The hunt for the monster."
Plus, fish can't sue us.
Copy !req
181. - Marvin.
- Paige.
Copy !req
182. Fine. I'll send you something.
Copy !req
183. Five hundred words.
And pictures, get pictures.
Copy !req
184. I hope a fish does sue us.
Copy !req
185. - No, you don't.
- I do.
Copy !req
186. I wanted to sue a fish once.
It was in a taco. I'm still mad at it.
Copy !req
187. Speaking of wanting to throw up...
Copy !req
188. I'll tell you what's not likable.
Your shoes, your shirt and your shoes.
Copy !req
189. - Up top.
- Huh? Oh.
Copy !req
190. Your hand feels weird.
Copy !req
191. Anyway, this is your expert?
Ashley? Is that her name?
Copy !req
192. - It was Debra, but nobody likes a Debra.
- My mother's name was Debra.
Copy !req
193. And?
Copy !req
194. Just let her work. You'll see.
Copy !req
195. Okay, three things
to make you more likable right now.
Copy !req
196. Smile. Yep, just checking.
Copy !req
197. Don't ever smile again.
You have what we call "bad smile."
Copy !req
198. Okay, now.
Copy !req
199. Imagine you're trying to get little flies
out of your eyes just using your eyelids.
Copy !req
200. - Good. Do that all the time.
- That's amazing. That totally works.
Copy !req
201. Put your hand on your face as if
you're sleepy and it's a little pillow.
Copy !req
202. - Good, leave that there.
- For how long?
Copy !req
203. Till we get those poll numbers up.
Copy !req
204. You can do stuff with your other hand.
See?
Copy !req
205. You know, it does do something.
That's impressive.
Copy !req
206. - You're kidding.
- Wow.
Copy !req
207. - Yep.
- And we're just getting started.
Copy !req
208. Convincing this city
To like this old biddy
Copy !req
209. Is the hard job I'm here to do
Copy !req
210. Now, as we've established
You smile like a catfish
Copy !req
211. And your resting face looks like
Copy !req
212. You're taking a poo.
Copy !req
213. A strangler outpolled you
In case no one told you
Copy !req
214. That's what's called losing the race
Copy !req
215. So before the hard hitting
The first step's admitting
Copy !req
216. New York doesn't like your face
Copy !req
217. First up, Bitsy Brandenham
Twitter, TikTok, Instagram
Copy !req
218. - This Big Apple thinks you're the pits
- I don't need to.
Copy !req
219. Bitsy, listen to this
They think you're shysty
Copy !req
220. I'm flirty and feisty
Copy !req
221. - That's just the Long Island iced tea.
- With Bloody Mary mix.
Copy !req
222. It's not okay
Copy !req
223. What the bloody mayor is trying to say
Is New York doesn't like your face
Copy !req
224. They spit you out
Because they've got New Yorkers' taste
Copy !req
225. They look at you and smell a rat
And they've had enough of those
Copy !req
226. No one can stand you
We've got to rebrand you
Copy !req
227. New haircut, heritage,
Pronouns, clothes
Copy !req
228. Aesthetically, it's looking bleak
Haute couture should make you pop
Copy !req
229. Sit front row at Fashion Week
Then tweak the pictures with Photoshop
Copy !req
230. All we need is one good public stunt
Copy !req
231. With just the perfect words
Copy !req
232. That will lead New Yorkers
Copy !req
233. To accept the little polished turd
Copy !req
234. New York doesn't like your face
Copy !req
235. We've got to give them something better
To embrace
Copy !req
236. Devise a plan to make them stand you
That's what it's all about
Copy !req
237. Bitsy, it's the only way
To cultivate the clout
Copy !req
238. Haven't you ever wondered, dear
Copy !req
239. Why your staff all carry cans of Mace?
Copy !req
240. New York doesn't like your face
Copy !req
241. All right.
If that thing is out there, we'll find it.
Copy !req
242. - How did you get this tangled?
- It all happened so fast.
Copy !req
243. Mine was like this, I think.
Copy !req
244. - It was?
- I don't know! Don't yell at me!
Copy !req
245. - I'm not.
- Well, somebody's yelling!
Copy !req
246. - You are.
- It's you.
Copy !req
247. I'm sorry.
I'm scared of giant fish with teeth.
Copy !req
248. I'm not.
I'm totally comfortable with them.
Copy !req
249. And send. There. Story sent.
Editor happy, I assume.
Copy !req
250. Owen, we need a coffee run.
Actually, we need a food run.
Copy !req
251. These kids have cranky no-lunch face.
Copy !req
252. There won't be any spicy cheese bread left
at the farmers market,
Copy !req
253. but what if I go and see
if there's just regular cheese bread?
Copy !req
254. Or just cheese. Or just bread?
Copy !req
255. Yes, dying.
Copy !req
256. Mother, Father, give us bread.
Copy !req
257. Okay. I gotta get the boat in the water.
Meet back here?
Copy !req
258. Picnic in the boat.
Very cute of us. Very postable.
Copy !req
259. - Hate it. Cramped.
- Yeah. My drawing's wet.
Copy !req
260. We're just not a boat family.
Copy !req
261. Please, people,
we're trying to catch a monster.
Copy !req
262. It's not really about the picnic.
Copy !req
263. They didn't have
a big picnic scene in Jaws.
Copy !req
264. Well, maybe if they did,
that movie would've been more successful.
Copy !req
265. Why are there so many people here
all of a sudden?
Copy !req
266. Maybe we actually do look really cute.
Copy !req
267. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
268. - Marvin.
- Paige.
Copy !req
269. You posted my story?
Copy !req
270. Yes. I put it on the site,
and I'm rushing it to print for tomorrow.
Copy !req
271. Paige, it's only been up a half an hour,
but it's already got more clicks
Copy !req
272. than Doug's underwear story
from last year.
Copy !req
273. Good. I hate that underwear story.
Copy !req
274. Hey. That was a great story.
Copy !req
275. I think he did it to get free underwear,
but great story.
Copy !req
276. I'm worried. These people fishing—
Copy !req
277. If they're trying to catch the snakehead,
then they're probably using barbed hooks.
Copy !req
278. But that makes it harder
to release the good fish
Copy !req
279. without accidentally killing them.
Copy !req
280. Which is just as bad for the fish
as getting eaten by a snakehead.
Copy !req
281. That's a good story too.
Copy !req
282. - You heard that?
- Some of it. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
283. "New York hunts for the monster,
but at what cost?"
Copy !req
284. That's the headline. You write the rest.
I'll post it as soon as you send it.
Copy !req
285. Oh, Marvin.
Copy !req
286. Sir, sir. You know this is
a catch-and-release pond, right?
Copy !req
287. Barbless hooks, please.
Copy !req
288. "Barbless hooks."
Does that sound like a lady's name?
Copy !req
289. Sounds like a scary stripper.
Copy !req
290. Dad, would a snakehead
eat a little duckling?
Copy !req
291. Definitely.
Copy !req
292. Oh, okay.
Copy !req
293. Well, this is not a problem, because
maybe there's no snakehead at all, right?
Copy !req
294. I mean, maybe that jogger guy is cuckoo.
Copy !req
295. Right. Maybe he does this all the time.
Can't bring him anywhere.
Copy !req
296. Snakehead here,
snakehead there, snakehead there.
Copy !req
297. No!
Copy !req
298. Oh, thank God.
Copy !req
299. That duckling's gonna need therapy.
Copy !req
300. Experiment with drugs
and alcohol in its teens,
Copy !req
301. and then somehow find its way
and later be an inspiration to everybody.
Copy !req
302. Owen, is there anything else that could
have sucked a duckling down like that?
Copy !req
303. - I don't think so.
- Crap.
Copy !req
304. So, we all agree?
Copy !req
305. We're taking the ducklings, and we're
putting them in private school in Vermont.
Copy !req
306. The gray fingers of dawn
scratch the cheek of day.
Copy !req
307. Nope. The gray dawn dawns... Nope.
Copy !req
308. It's poignantly dawn. There it is.
Copy !req
309. Anyway, Owen and the crew were up late
trying to catch the snakehead.
Copy !req
310. Still no sign of it.
Copy !req
311. None of the civilian fisherpeople
caught it either.
Copy !req
312. Lot of tangled lines. Lot of people
realizing fishing is not for them.
Copy !req
313. Lot of lost worms entering
a new chapter of their lives.
Copy !req
314. Hey, would you mind
getting out of our shot?
Copy !req
315. - Oh. Sorry. Better?
- No.
Copy !req
316. Also, Paige's story got picked up
by other papers.
Copy !req
317. That's why all these reporters are here.
Copy !req
318. Just shoot around him, I guess.
Copy !req
319. Interesting.
Copy !req
320. Helen! Helen! Where were you?
Copy !req
321. Starting a pee I didn't finish.
Copy !req
322. Ew. Don't pee. Gross.
Copy !req
323. Listen. Get that likability lady
that I don't like on the phone.
Copy !req
324. I wanna run something by her.
Copy !req
325. Coffee and bagels!
Copy !req
326. And the heroes arrive with food.
You guys are doing good stuff too.
Copy !req
327. Elwood, duck update?
Everybody accounted for?
Copy !req
328. All present and adorable. And so fragile.
This one has a cold, I think.
Copy !req
329. But maybe that's how all ducks sound?
Copy !req
330. They all look like they're trying
to go for their morning swim.
Copy !req
331. They won't stop trying to swim!
Copy !req
332. I keep telling them it's too dangerous,
Copy !req
333. but they look at me like,
"Who's Mr. Bossy Pants over here?"
Copy !req
334. Well, we had an idea.
Don't know if it's gonna work,
Copy !req
335. but what if someone really clever
brought these? Cole?
Copy !req
336. We were thinking
they could be used as decoys.
Copy !req
337. Like they do for the pope.
Copy !req
338. - They have rubber popes?
- Three of them.
Copy !req
339. Cole, shall we?
Copy !req
340. Marvin was right/I am a great writer/
I always believed in this story.
Copy !req
341. - This broke big.
- Yep, sure did.
Copy !req
342. Sorry I'm so good at my job.
Copy !req
343. It's a media circus,
which is not a problem at all.
Copy !req
344. So much easier to catch a fish
with loud noise and flashing cameras
Copy !req
345. and so many more people fishing.
Copy !req
346. What's going on over there?
Copy !req
347. What's going on, is Dick Flake.
Who's Dick Flake?
Copy !req
348. Dick Flake is a so-called
"big game fish hunter"
Copy !req
349. who was hired by Bitsy Brandenham
to catch the snakehead.
Copy !req
350. Do I like saying "Dick Flake"?
Dick Flake I do.
Copy !req
351. Dick Flake.
Hunter, fisherman, life coach, blue belt.
Copy !req
352. I've been hired by Ms. Brandenham
to catch the snakehead.
Copy !req
353. I have a lot of experience
catching snakeheads,
Copy !req
354. and "she has a lot of experience
caring about this park."
Copy !req
355. This is just me talking here.
Copy !req
356. These guys, they're not doing it right
That's not how you get the bite
Copy !req
357. I got topwater frogs, bottomwater frogs
Plugs, buzzbaits, chatterbaits
Copy !req
358. Jitterbugs, dinglebiddies
Copy !req
359. So, ain't got time
For no tackle box tickle talks
Copy !req
360. Not when there's vicious fishes
In the fish game
Copy !req
361. So, listen up, 'cause here's the catch
Copy !req
362. Gotta have the right tools
When you meet your match
Copy !req
363. Oh, you can catch a big game
Copy !req
364. If you got a lot of tackle
And you got a cool name
Copy !req
365. Dick Flake
Copy !req
366. Oh, if the catching's why you came
Copy !req
367. Then you better be prepared
To beat 'em at their own game
Copy !req
368. Dick Flake
Copy !req
369. I got topwater frogs, bottomwater frogs
Plugs, buzzbaits, chatterbaits
Copy !req
370. Jitterbugs, dinglebiddies
Copy !req
371. Got weasel paws studded
With a thistle and a twig
Copy !req
372. I got black fly wings
Small, medium and big
Copy !req
373. Dick Flake
Copy !req
374. - Oh, I'm a Dick with perfect aim
- Oh, he's a Dick with perfect aim
Copy !req
375. - And I always come prepared
- And he always comes prepared
Copy !req
376. - To beat 'em at their own game
- Dick Flake
Copy !req
377. Better be prepared
To beat 'em at their own game
Copy !req
378. It's the likability lady.
Copy !req
379. - Yes?
- Huge.
Copy !req
380. - Huge?
- Huge. Huge success.
Copy !req
381. He hasn't caught it yet.
Copy !req
382. - You're already popping.
- I'm popping?
Copy !req
383. New Yorkers love this story.
It's trending all over the place.
Copy !req
384. Okay. Good.
Copy !req
385. People are talking you up on social media.
And by "people" I mean me.
Copy !req
386. - How does that—
- I have 10,000 accounts. Don't ask.
Copy !req
387. We'll need your guy
to catch the fish soon though,
Copy !req
388. while people are focused on the story.
Copy !req
389. I'm sure he will. It's not like
he's hunting a mastermind. It's a fish.
Copy !req
390. No, seriously. We need him
to catch it within a few hours.
Copy !req
391. The media window is closing.
Copy !req
392. I can feel it closing on my fingers
as I type. We need that fish.
Copy !req
393. All right. Too much.
Too much from you, Ashley.
Copy !req
394. Go put your hand on your face,
and then put your face up your butt.
Copy !req
395. Get me the fisherman.
Copy !req
396. It'd be cool if that was a code name
instead of just what he is.
Copy !req
397. - What?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
398. - Dick's on.
- Where's my fish?
Copy !req
399. - I just got my boat in the water.
- What?
Copy !req
400. They don't normally allow boats up here.
Copy !req
401. Also, the reporters were super
into me so I—
Copy !req
402. Oh, good. You stopped.
So, when will you have it?
Copy !req
403. - The snakehead?
- Yes!
Copy !req
404. I don't know.
Copy !req
405. Soon?
Copy !req
406. - Very soon?
- That's right.
Copy !req
407. And you're gonna call me
the second you pull it in.
Copy !req
408. You got that?
Copy !req
409. I want to be there to give you your check
when the reporters arrive.
Copy !req
410. - You hear me?
- Yes.
Copy !req
411. The check you won't get
if you don't catch the fish.
Copy !req
412. And try to catch it before 5:00.
Traffic gets yucky.
Copy !req
413. What's he whining about?
Copy !req
414. His life. All of his decisions
that have led up to this—
Copy !req
415. All right, all right.
Save it for your comedy special.
Copy !req
416. Get him to stop.
Copy !req
417. I've gotta go pick out the right shoes
to wear to this fish catching.
Copy !req
418. Yep. No, I know.
Copy !req
419. No. Stop. Stay on the shore. Bad duckling!
Copy !req
420. I just wanted to draw.
Copy !req
421. Remember when our life was our own,
before we had kids?
Copy !req
422. - Hey, Molly.
- Hey. Brendan.
Copy !req
423. - Cole. What's up?
- Can't talk. Ducklings.
Copy !req
424. Trying to keep them
from going in the water?
Copy !req
425. - Yep.
- Snakehead.
Copy !req
426. It's already tried to eat one of them.
Copy !req
427. Did you come up here to fly your kite?
Copy !req
428. No, I came here to help
catch the snakehead.
Copy !req
429. Are they drawn to wind hobbies?
Copy !req
430. No, I attached a fishing hook to the kite.
Copy !req
431. Kite fishing. It's a thing.
I saw it online.
Copy !req
432. You can get further out over the water
and the fish don't expect—
Copy !req
433. To be caught by a kite?
Copy !req
434. Yeah. Now I'm feeling
like there might be more to it.
Copy !req
435. I just wanted to help.
New adventures of Fista Puffs?
Copy !req
436. Not yet. It's been a lot of this.
Copy !req
437. Well, if I take off the hook,
maybe my kite could be useful here.
Copy !req
438. Do you think I can get away with writing,
Copy !req
439. "Dick Flake, a man who looks like a toilet
brush if a toilet brush were a person"?
Copy !req
440. I don't know. If he catches the thing,
then he's a hero as far as I'm concerned.
Copy !req
441. He's not gonna catch it.
He's a blowhard. Trust me.
Copy !req
442. I caught it! I caught it!
Copy !req
443. Okay. Maybe I'm not
a great judge of fisherpeople.
Copy !req
444. I did it!
Copy !req
445. She got here fast. They got here fast.
Copy !req
446. Hey, you got it.
Let's see. God, it's huge.
Copy !req
447. All right, give us a good one.
Copy !req
448. This is for What's New, New York?
How'd you do it, Dick?
Copy !req
449. This is Ms. Brandenham's show.
I just work here.
Copy !req
450. I mean, I work here.
Copy !req
451. Sometimes, generous, heroic,
private individuals
Copy !req
452. can make things happen more efficiently
than a creaky old bureaucracy can.
Copy !req
453. Hold it higher.
Not too high, I'll be out of the shot.
Copy !req
454. There you go. Look at that.
Copy !req
455. Anyway, here's your check, from me,
Bitsy Brandenham.
Copy !req
456. - Helping New York in any way I can.
- Thank you, Ms. Brandenham.
Copy !req
457. Questions? Any of you on social media?
Copy !req
458. Shampagne looks nervous.
Doesn't Shampagne look nervous?
Copy !req
459. Or maybe sad.
Now I'm seeing both. Are you seeing both?
Copy !req
460. I can't read his expression,
because he's a little dog. He looks furry.
Copy !req
461. What is it, boy? Tell me with your mind.
Copy !req
462. Okay, that's not working.
It's possible we don't have that power.
Copy !req
463. Bitsy! Any truth to the rumor
that you're trying to buy Central Park?
Copy !req
464. I don't think anyone heard you, dear.
Anyone else?
Copy !req
465. I said—
Copy !req
466. People can also ask me anything
if they want, about fishing or life.
Copy !req
467. Did someone ask if I think
park management is severely lacking?
Copy !req
468. The answer's yes.
Good question, whoever that was.
Copy !req
469. Let me just say this.
Copy !req
470. This park desperately needs
someone to take care of it.
Copy !req
471. Someone who appreciates its worth.
They might even be here right now, hey?
Copy !req
472. Who's got two thumbs up
and appreciates the park?
Copy !req
473. Okay, I gotta split.
Copy !req
474. I just wanna at least trip her.
Can I trip her?
Copy !req
475. - Oh, God. Is Cole gonna trip her?
- He's going to see the dog.
Copy !req
476. - Bitsy.
- Whoa, you're a tiny reporter, aren't you?
Copy !req
477. No, I'm the boy who— Never mind.
I just— I'm worried about him.
Copy !req
478. She's a woman. She just looks
like a man sometimes. It's the light.
Copy !req
479. - No, I mean— Hi.
- Sup?
Copy !req
480. I mean him.
Copy !req
481. Oh. Yes. He's been a mopey little mop
all afternoon.
Copy !req
482. He seems better now though. Whatever. Bye.
Copy !req
483. Wait. Just, when he's anxious,
you can do a little drumbeat on his butt.
Copy !req
484. What? What? Shampagne, chill out.
Copy !req
485. Do a drumbeat. Hi.
Copy !req
486. What's happening?
Copy !req
487. Exactly. I knew it.
I knew we had that power.
Copy !req
488. Okay, bye. Stay strong.
Copy !req
489. Newspeople are so weird.
Copy !req
490. - He's the boy who found the dog—
- I remember who he is now.
Copy !req
491. Maybe it's worth trying
the drumming thing?
Copy !req
492. All right.
Copy !req
493. Oh. My goodness.
Copy !req
494. Hey. Holy smokes. You little freak.
Copy !req
495. All right, from now on,
whatever some rando tells me to do to you,
Copy !req
496. I'm doing it.
Copy !req
497. - He hasn't moved for a while.
- That's not true.
Copy !req
498. He adjusted his shorts,
like, five minutes ago.
Copy !req
499. Yeah, they were way up there.
Copy !req
500. It happens when he's upset.
I don't know why exactly.
Copy !req
501. They just ride up
like they're trying to help him.
Copy !req
502. There's something weird about that fish.
Copy !req
503. Weird eyebrows? No,
fish don't have eyebrows. Weird attitude?
Copy !req
504. Maybe it's that it looks like Satan?
Copy !req
505. No, look at the eyes.
Kinda cloudy and sunken, right?
Copy !req
506. Hope no one ever says that about me.
Copy !req
507. I think that fish is dead.
Copy !req
508. I mean, that's what happens
when you kill them.
Copy !req
509. No, I mean dead from before.
I don't think that fish is from the Meer.
Copy !req
510. But I thought Dick Flake caught the fish
and saved the day. Of course he didn't.
Copy !req
511. Have you met Dick Flake?
Allow me to explain.
Copy !req
512. Whoa, Dick Flake is a lying piece of cake,
Dick Flake
Copy !req
513. No one's as fake as Mr. Richard Flake
Copy !req
514. He bought that fish
Like he bought a pound of steak
Copy !req
515. It's like if a doctor
couldn't find your appendix,
Copy !req
516. so they bought somebody else's
from an— an appendix store,
Copy !req
517. and waved it around and told—
Copy !req
518. Well, you get the idea.
That's not a good doctor, Dick!
Copy !req
519. Owen, look at Dick's fish.
Doesn't it look kinda dead?
Copy !req
520. It looks very dead.
That's what happens when you—
Copy !req
521. No, no, no. Look at the eyes.
I think that fish has been dead a while.
Copy !req
522. Mom's really into talking
about dead fish now. Just go with it.
Copy !req
523. I think Dick Flake went
and got a dead snakehead
Copy !req
524. - so he could get his check from Bitsy.
- Really?
Copy !req
525. Remember when we didn't know
where he was for an hour,
Copy !req
526. and we thought he was pooping?
Copy !req
527. Owen, that thing is still out there.
We gotta go back. We gotta go back out.
Copy !req
528. - Oh, gosh.
- You can do this.
Copy !req
529. I don't know. I'm tired.
And you guys probably do other stuff.
Copy !req
530. - What's that?
- This?
Copy !req
531. - Is that?
- It's kind of a new character. Park Guy.
Copy !req
532. It's just something
I was playing around with.
Copy !req
533. Are his shorts pulled up really high?
Copy !req
534. I mean, the normal amount.
But also, he gets his powers from them.
Copy !req
535. And is the snakehead saying,
Copy !req
536. "I'm this way
because I never learned to read"?
Copy !req
537. It makes sense for his character.
Copy !req
538. All right. I'm going back out.
I'm gonna get that fish.
Copy !req
539. We're going with you... until bedtime.
Copy !req
540. There's a fish
Who's a beast from head to tail
Copy !req
541. It's become the park's white whale
Copy !req
542. - So just call me Ishmael
- Be bold-faced and daring
Copy !req
543. Let us go to tame the wild sea
Copy !req
544. Time will tell what's meant to be
Copy !req
545. And we'll fight till we are free
Copy !req
546. Catch it like a dad
With his shirt tucked in
Copy !req
547. - Be brave
- Be brave
Copy !req
548. - When the moment comes to pass
- To pass
Copy !req
549. - This ain't no Billy Bass
- Billy Bass
Copy !req
550. - See, there's movement in the grass
- In the grass, in the grassy, grassy grass
Copy !req
551. Let me do this one thing
Or at least die trying
Copy !req
552. Trying
Copy !req
553. I'm gonna do this one thing
Or at least die trying
Copy !req
554. Don't die
Copy !req
555. But if I do
I hope you'll tell my story
Copy !req
556. And that's my dying wish
Copy !req
557. We'll always remember how you died
When you tried to catch a scary fish
Copy !req
558. - I— I got it!
- You did it!
Copy !req
559. - You really did it!
- And you didn't die. I like that.
Copy !req
560. I was gonna die
Was gonna die, die trying
Copy !req
561. Didn't die trying
Didn't die trying
Copy !req
562. My team and I
We would've died, died trying
Copy !req
563. - I see you as a superhero
- Didn't die trying, didn't die trying
Copy !req
564. This means we can save the park
Copy !req
565. And we'll do it every day
Or we'll die trying
Copy !req
566. Now, that's a story.
Copy !req
567. We didn't die
We didn't die, die trying
Copy !req
568. - Flake's fake
- Fish fraud
Copy !req
569. Bitsy bamboozles
Copy !req
570. Mayor commends the park employees
Copy !req
571. And we didn't die trying
Didn't die trying
Copy !req
572. - I'm gonna buy that stupid park.
- Yes, you've mentioned that.
Copy !req
573. - Maybe I'll buy that stupid newspaper too.
- That seems nonprofitable.
Copy !req
574. But it would be so pleasing
to fire everyone.
Copy !req
575. - Does someone need her feel-better juice?
- I don't want to feel better! I want to—
Copy !req
576. Wait. Yes.
Feel-better juice would be nice.
Copy !req
577. That helps too.
Copy !req
578. I'll buy the park or die, die trying
Copy !req
579. Please die trying
Please die trying
Copy !req
580. Yes, I'll get that stupid park
Or die trying
Copy !req
581. Please, pretty please
Pretty please die trying
Copy !req
582. Oh, we'll protect the park
Or we'll die trying, trying
Copy !req
583. In Central Park
Copy !req
584. - What if I own it?
- It's the place where we began
Copy !req
585. You know your mama's got this
Copy !req
586. - Mama's got this
- Central Park
Copy !req
587. - And it's where I met Dianne
- Dianne
Copy !req
588. Grandiose and glorious
Unlike any place on earth
Copy !req
589. - Thanks to this family
- I'll die if I don't try
Copy !req
590. - The park is secure now
- I'll die if I don't try
Copy !req
591. - But thinking it's over
- I'll die if I don't try
Copy !req
592. - Is quite premature now
- If I don't try, don't try
Copy !req
593. - Oh, in Central
- In Central
Copy !req
594. - Central Park
- Central Park
Copy !req