1. What do you think, Trevor?
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2. I think I hate everything and everybody,
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3. so I'm going to get drunk on beer
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4. that's been brewed
in an old sheep carcass,
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5. and then I'm going to stick my tiny penis
in a dead dog I found in a ditch
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6. to make hate-babies or something
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7. because I am actually
more stupid than mud.
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8. You are a horrible, terrible person,
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9. and many other words
for horrible and terrible,
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10. because I know all the words,
because I am smarter than everybody,
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11. and one day I will go back to live
with my flea-bitten family in a cart,
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12. which makes me better than everyone,
and you will all die in a fire.
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13. A big one.
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14. Oh, my God. I am losing my mind.
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15. It's only been a month.
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16. I think.
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17. I think it might actually
be a nice night, for once.
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18. I hope so.
Your feet get so bloody cold at night.
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19. Don't they, though?
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20. It's supernatural.
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21. Like death, rubbing up and down my leg.
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22. Even I don't want to be near them,
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23. and they're attached to me.
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24. Do you think we'll make the next town
before we lose the last of the light?
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25. With a bit of luck.
If this doesn't take too long.
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26. Do we need to make more noise?
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27. No. They can hear us.
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28. They need to hurry up. I'm hungry.
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29. And I could use a drink.
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30. It should start any minute now.
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31. Let them get in close and get confident.
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32. I know.
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33. Here they come.
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34. Oh, no! Night creatures!
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35. Whatever shall I do,
out here alone in the forest,
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36. with only my brain-damaged servant
who talks about nothing but beer?
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37. I am certainly doomed.
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38. Oh, God, not this again.
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39. Doomed, I say.
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40. Defenseless
and frozen to my seat with fear!
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41. Laying it on a little thick,
aren't you, Sypha?
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42. It's always easier
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43. when we let them get in range.
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44. - Four.
- Yep.
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45. Doomed.
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46. Really are.
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47. Poor beasties.
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48. Hah!
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49. Easy there, boys.
This will all be over in a minute.
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50. What if I said I was sorry?
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51. Hah!
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52. Sorry I took so long.
I couldn't let the forest catch fire.
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53. It's fine. I wasn't waiting long.
Really.
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54. That was pretty fast, though, right?
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55. Yeah. Easy.
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56. They weren't expecting
Belnades and Belmont!
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57. So...
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58. I've been promoted from
"brain-damaged servant," then.
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59. Did you know that the original meaning
of the word Belmont
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60. is "brain damaged servant?"
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61. It is not.
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62. I am a Speaker. I know many things.
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63. What are you doing?
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64. Buying some insurance.
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65. Between the wandering packs
of night creatures,
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66. and the brigands and
opportunistic criminals,
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67. and that one guy
with the horse-drawn sailboat on wheels
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68. that called himself
the Pirate of the Roads...
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69. It's best to look like useful friends
when we arrive at new towns.
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70. You're catching on.
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71. Well, it's been quite a month.
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72. We'd almost given up hope.
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73. Thirty fucking days, Lenore.
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74. We were lucky to march
for eight hours a night.
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75. I'm sorry.
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76. Why were you marching?
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77. You were given horses for a reason.
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78. Well, you didn't give me
immortal vampire horses of death, did you?
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79. Eight hundred miles, and every inch of it
infested with bastards.
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80. We lost the horses
to arrows and swords in the first week!
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81. It's absolutely bloody chaos out there!
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82. Humans fighting each other,
night creatures gone mad,
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83. even vampire packs
trying to set up kingdoms.
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84. There is literally no one
between here and Braila
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85. who I don't want to murder.
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86. So what do you want to do first,
Carmilla?
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87. I want to get in a bath
for at least a day.
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88. And then I want you to bring
a cartographer to my chambers.
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89. I may have a plan.
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90. Oh, yes.
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91. Striga.
Take this to a cell and lock it up.
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92. Throw it food once a day.
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93. What is it?
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94. It's a whining bag of shit
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95. that I would have happily
have dropped in a ditch
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96. at any moment over the last month.
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97. But it is also a Forgemaster.
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98. So keep it alive.
My plan includes it.
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99. Take this to the western cellblock.
Don't kill it.
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100. And throw some water over it.
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101. - It stinks.
- Ow.
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102. If there's nothing else urgent,
I suggest we get you indoors
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103. and give you a proper welcome.
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104. Hmm. My sisters.
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105. I've spent the last ten days
of that hell march
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106. wondering if I'd die of hunger
or sheer bloody rage before I got home...
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107. and wondering if you'd still be
waiting for me.
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108. Where's Morana?
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109. She awaits us inside. Come on.
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110. There you are, Morana.
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111. It's good to see you again.
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112. You're late.
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113. Thirty days slogging through...
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114. To make terrible time.
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115. We stationed our forces
within a day's ride of Braila.
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116. Where are the horses?
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117. Killed by insane humans
with pointy sticks.
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118. And half a dozen packs
of starving night creatures.
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119. And eaten. And every other fucking thing.
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120. The plan couldn't have gone more wrong.
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121. You'll be wanting a drink, then.
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122. Mm. Virgin's blood.
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123. Oh, bless your dead little hearts.
You do still love me.
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124. Mm. Welcome home, Carmilla.
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125. We're all so glad
to have you back with us.
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126. The plan didn't matter a whit
compared to your safety.
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127. Welcome back to your castle
and your realm.
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128. It's us against the world, Carmilla.
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129. Same as it always was.
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130. Mister Saint Germain.
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131. Just Saint Germain, please.
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132. You're not a mister?
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133. I most certainly am not.
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134. What are you, then?
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135. Many things, young lady. Many things.
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136. Uh...
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137. I'd like two apples, I think.
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138. Two coins each.
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139. They were one denarius yesterday.
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140. That was yesterday.
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141. Yes. Just yesterday,
they were one denarius.
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142. Has there been some
apocalyptic development
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143. that I somehow slept through
in the meantime?
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144. Time's moved on. Season's ending.
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145. Less supply, same demand.
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146. Time absolutely does move on,
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147. and, sadly, none of us
is master or mistress of it.
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148. You should be a banker.
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149. Give me some coins to count, then.
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150. Practice.
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151. Excellent. I have one grosh.
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152. I said two coins each.
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153. But a grosh is twice as large
as a denarius, and twice as thick,
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154. with twice the silver of a denarius.
You see?
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155. Grosh isn't coin.
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156. It most certainly is a coin.
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157. We don't truck
with that eastern money around here.
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158. Proper coin, Mister Saint Germain.
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159. Good grief.
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160. My apples, if you please.
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161. It's a little late for new arrivals,
isn't it?
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162. I trust this isn't
a bolder breed of brigand,
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163. or that imbecile
who put wheels on his boat again.
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164. Well...
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165. this is new.
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166. So...
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167. Had you been having problems
with a night creature pack
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168. outside your lovely town?
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169. If you mean,
"Were terrible naked bastards from Hell
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170. trying to eat people in the forest,"
then yes.
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171. Ah. So had the village down the road.
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172. They told us the pack had been hitting
travelers and transports.
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173. My partner and I decided
to take care of that for you.
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174. Where are we?
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175. This is Lindenfeld.
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176. The minster town.
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177. The spire we saw from the road
belongs to the priory, yes?
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178. Oh! You're a Speaker.
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179. We haven't seen any of your people
in some while.
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180. It's a genuine honor.
I'm the Judge of Lindenfeld.
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181. A township Judge!
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182. That is a very old term
for the headman and landlord of a town,
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183. from the time before boyars and lords.
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184. What is your name?
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185. I'm simply the Judge. And you are?
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186. Wait a moment.
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187. Those are monks of the Priory.
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188. Take care.
They are somewhat, uh, broken.
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189. Judge.
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190. Prior Sala.
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191. What is happening here?
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192. And this is a night creature
of Dracula's horde.
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193. It is.
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194. Did you kill it?
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195. That's right.
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196. Good.
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197. The horde betrayed Dracula at Braila.
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198. Murder at the hands of vagabonds
and a long dragging behind a wagon
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199. is no less than they deserve.
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200. Betrayed him?
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201. Dracula is dead. Didn't you hear?
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202. We did not.
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203. How do you know this?
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204. Information still gets carried
between minsters.
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205. Vampires were trapped at Braila,
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206. and they told of his castle
being flooded with holy water
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207. and sent back to Hell.
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208. They said they felt his death.
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209. I would very much like to know
who killed him, Speaker.
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210. Why?
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211. So my men can punish those responsible.
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212. Dracula sought to reunite us all in Hell
with his beloved wife.
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213. OK, then. Nice to meet you.
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214. There was a Speaker woman at Gresit.
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215. What are your names?
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216. There are Speakers everywhere.
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217. They would only have given aid and comfort
to those harmed by Dracula's hordes.
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218. Does that offend you?
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219. It is time for you and yours
to move along now, Prior.
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220. Indeed. We shall give thanks.
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221. What the hell was that?
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222. We suffered an attack
during the recent troubles.
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223. It was a difficult night for the priory.
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224. Honestly, though, when it was learned
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225. that the actions of the Church
were what unleashed it all,
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226. I think it just sent Prior Sala
and his people quite mad.
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227. Oh, dear. What a shame. Never mind.
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228. He's been taking in refugees
of a similar turn of mind.
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229. It's a problem. Mister...?
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230. I'm Trevor. This is Sypha.
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231. Ah. No last names?
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232. Not until I feel a little safer here.
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233. Sensible. Well, Mr. Trevor,
a pleasure to meet you both.
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234. Welcome to Lindenfeld.
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235. What do you want for its teeth?
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236. What?
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237. I'll give you two coins for each tooth.
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238. Pardon me?
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239. All right, three.
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240. - But...
- Sypha.
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241. Three coins a tooth is fine,
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242. but you'll have to get them out yourself.
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243. Happily!
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244. Trevor, that is wrong!
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245. You're hungry, aren't you?
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246. Well, yes.
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247. We need friends, but we also need coins.
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248. For food, and for somewhere to sleep
that isn't the back of the wagon.
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249. Oh. You know, that might be nice.
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250. I mean, I'm used to sleeping in wagons,
but it is nice when you stop.
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251. And that man there has beer.
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252. Could I get a mug?
I'll have some coins in a minute.
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253. You killed that bastard thing.
You get one free.
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254. I love you!
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255. Oh, my God.
That is better than sex.
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256. Mmm.
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257. Better than sex?
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258. Ah, well, no, not-not...
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259. You, know,
just d-different, differently good.
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260. Really?
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261. But, I-I-I didn't, I didn't mean...
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262. I do hope you sleep well tonight
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263. with my tiny, icy foot
shoved all the way up your...
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