1. Girl, are you trying to kill me?
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2. This is amazing!
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3. I know, right? Death by banana bread.
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4. Put that on a shirt.
Girl! You gotta put that on a shirt!
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5. Really? You think so?
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6. Oh, please. I would never take it off.
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7. It would be
my favorite shirt in the world.
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8. "Death by banana bread."
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9. You're hilarious!
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10. You're my new best friend.
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11. We're gonna be seeing
a lot of each other, Carol Kohl.
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12. I'll never judge you
or deliberately hurt you,
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13. and I will comfort you when you cry.
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14. Now cut me off a bigger piece,
'cause I'm in—
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15. I couldn't wait.
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16. Large, right?
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17. Oh, my God. Yeah. How did you know?
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18. Please, girl!
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19. I know my Carol.
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20. Carol?
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21. Carol?
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22. - Carol?
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23. Follow me.
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24. You need to stop staring.
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25. - Sorry.
- It's freaky as hell.
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26. Okay. It's just…
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27. Um… It's just that I wanted to thank you.
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28. For the toner.
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29. It's banana bread.
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30. Shit.
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31. - Okay.
- What?
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32. It's nothing. I thought
you might be some kind of psycho.
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33. Listen, this is nice and all,
but before you pull out any more desserts,
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34. I should go.
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35. Okay.
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36. I need to get back to work.
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37. Okay.
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38. - Donna?
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39. Look, I know you probably
have lots of questions like I did.
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40. - But you'll learn it doesn't matter.
- But how does it even work?
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41. Carol, it's a job.
Who cares how it works? It just does.
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42. - And stop staring at me.
- Okay.
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43. - I'm serious. Stop staring.
- Sorry.
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44. If I see you staring again,
I'm gonna throw a stapler at you.
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45. Got it.
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46. Bernard!
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47. Shots!
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48. It's like holding an eggplant! Ha!
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49. That's really nice.
Elena's going to love that one.
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50. Oh, my goodness.
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51. Welcome aboard The Grand Coda.
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52. My name is Captain Jason McNelis.
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53. And I'll be your skipper
on this journey around the world.
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54. Captain! This is such an honor.
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55. - Thank you.
- It feels like we're in good hands.
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56. Well, sir, you're in the best.
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57. I've been out on the seas
for 30 years now,
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58. and have captained
The Vision, The Fantasy,
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59. The Esposito, and now The Grand Coda.
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60. Anyway, welcome aboard
and enjoy your meal.
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61. Thank you.
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62. Welcome aboard The Grand Coda.
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63. Welcome aboard.
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64. …going on 30 years now.
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65. …The Fantasy, The Esposito…
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66. Yes, 30 years now.
A little bit about myself?
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67. …The Vision, The Fantasy…
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68. …a family of fishermen…
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69. …going on 30 years now…
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70. Enjoy your meal.
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71. Enjoy your meal.
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72. Enjoy your meal.
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73. Thirty fuckin' years.
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74. - Excuse me.
- Listen up.
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75. We're gonna need volunteers
to stay and work through the night.
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76. - Show of hands?
- Who can stay?
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77. Thank you.
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78. Mmm!
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79. Oh.
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80. Any good?
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81. I was getting kind of hungry too.
You mind if I…
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82. Oh. No.
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83. Of course.
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84. It's some kind of audit.
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85. Huh?
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86. The question about the office.
It's some kind of audit.
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87. I don't know what we're doing exactly
or how it works, but…
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88. …it's some kind of audit.
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89. Oh.
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90. That's pretty much all I know.
Anyway, I should get back to work.
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91. Sorry I was rude before.
It's just, you really did freak me out.
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92. It's okay.
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93. - Hey, Donna?
- Yeah?
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94. Death by banana bread.
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95. What?
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96. - Oh, nothing. Uh…
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97. It's, uh… death by banana bread?
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98. Carol, is there something in that bread?
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99. Oh, no. There's…
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100. It's just regular bananas, eggs, flour.
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101. It's a s-saying?
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102. Okay.
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103. I'll see you around.
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104. How's your night going?
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105. Not bad. Yours?
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106. It's okay.
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107. - Time just kinda—
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108. What?
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109. Does staying late happen a lot?
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110. Sometimes.
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111. It's like an "every other month" thing.
The reason always changes.
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112. Monthly reports due,
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113. quarterlies for something or other, fires.
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114. - Fire?
- Yeah. People settin' shit on fire.
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115. One lady didn't wanna go home.
She tried setting the elevators on fire.
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116. Don't make me go back out there.
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117. I can't.
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118. Please! Please! No!
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119. No. I hate it. I hate it out there!
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120. I get that.
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121. I'm not sure why,
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122. but it's strange as hell bumping into
someone from work on the outside.
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123. Jonathan, please get up.
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124. Mommy wants to go home.
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125. I am going to count to three. One…
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126. We've never mentioned it.
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127. But she didn't need to say a thing.
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128. Shit, after raising five
mostly on my own, I got it.
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129. Sometimes you just need an office.
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130. - Ever make zucchini bread?
- Sometimes.
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131. Mm. I can't bake for shit.
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132. Tenth floor
has a private bathroom.
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133. And most of the soda machines are empty,
but 22 still has Mr. Pibbs.
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134. I bring in my own Schweppes.
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135. Your nails are really nice.
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136. Thanks.
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137. I do all my own designs.
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138. Cow print, butterflies,
dog paws, cat paws,
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139. little ducks, roosters,
pizza, burgers, tacos,
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140. sunflowers, roses, poppies,
daisies, palm trees, bumblebees,
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141. polka dots, sunrise, sunsets,
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142. different flags,
American, Mexican, Japanese…
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143. She's always like,
"The only real prison is our minds."
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144. - She got a thing with her arms?
- Oh, no. She's skydiving.
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145. Oh, okay.
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146. Yeah, that's annoying.
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147. I went up one floor to Sales.
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148. Uh-huh?
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149. And two floors down to Marketing.
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150. Right.
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151. There was nothing there.
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152. You start dreaming
about this place yet?
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153. You too?
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154. I did payroll last night.
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155. I think I sent a fax.
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156. - Does your family know you come here?
- No, they think I'm writing a novel.
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157. - My parents think I surf.
- What?
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158. I know.
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159. I don't even like putting on a swimsuit.
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160. You told your parents you surf?
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161. And they believe that shit?
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162. This is nice.
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163. Yeah.
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164. Carol, I swear,
if I knew you had a thing about parakeets,
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165. I never would have brought them up.
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166. I'm just tired.
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167. No, I'm sorry. It's my fault.
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168. I'm just tired.
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169. - That guy was on the Food Network.
- Really?
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170. Hosted a cook-off show.
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171. I wonder why he's here.
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172. We've all got our reasons.
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173. I think I know why.
- Huh?
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174. Sorry. You were talking about
why we're here?
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175. I think I know why.
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176. Hi. I don't think
we've ever been formally introduced.
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177. I'm… Luis.
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178. Donna.
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179. Luis.
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180. Donna.
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181. Hi. I'm Carol.
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182. Nice to meet you.
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183. Wow. Look at this.
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184. Mmm.
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185. Would you like a piece?
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186. Yes, please.
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187. A… A little bigger. Little…
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188. Oh! Bless your heart.
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189. Thank you!
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190. Mmm!
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191. So, you were…
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192. Oh, right. Why he's here.
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193. Actually, why we're all here.
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194. Um…
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195. It's because we're dead.
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196. Mmm, delicious.
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197. Moist, with a… a slight crumble.
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198. Like, metaphorically?
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199. No, like we're all dead.
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200. We all died, and now we're all here.
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201. Uh-huh.
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202. In an office?
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203. Purgatory.
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204. The office is, um, Purgatory,
or at least I think so.
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205. - It's just one of my theories.
- Yeah, no. I don't think so.
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206. Think about it.
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207. Why would the office
still be up and running
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208. if it wasn't Purgatory?
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209. Who the hell knows?
But it doesn't mean we're dead.
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210. Like, wouldn't I know if I died or not?
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211. Not necessarily.
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212. Trust me. I've given this some thought.
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213. I wonder how I died.
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214. Carol! You're seriously buying this?
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215. No, but I still wonder.
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216. You drowned in the ocean.
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217. Yep. That's what I thought.
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218. Would you like to know
how I think you died?
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219. - Hell no.
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220. Already know how I'm gonna die,
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221. and I don't need you
going on about it either.
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222. So how do you think you died?
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223. Massive heart attack.
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224. Just a massive coronary.
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225. Mmm.
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226. What's in this?
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227. Cinnamon?
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228. Oh.
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229. You mind if I…?
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230. It's your ship.
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231. Can't sleep?
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232. Just… happy.
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233. Your parents seem to be
having a good time.
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234. - They're not my parents.
- Oh. They're not?
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235. - We're a throuple.
- Oh.
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236. Good for them.
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237. Uh, and you.
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238. You all seem happy.
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239. Couldn't be happier.
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240. - Where'd y'all meet?
- I was Bernard's registered nurse.
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241. Oh, wow.
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242. Isn't there like an oath
that you… You know.
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243. - I'm sorry if I, uh…
- No, it's okay.
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244. I know this kind of stuff
is generally frowned upon,
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245. but for the past three years,
I've dressed Bernard,
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246. washed him, fed him, given him his shots,
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247. and each and every single day,
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248. he's looked at me with this love
that I've never felt before.
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249. That's a love that changes you.
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250. I bet.
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251. I fell for him first.
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252. And Pauline, well,
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253. she exudes this affection
and compassion that I just admire.
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254. I don't care what my oath was,
or the ethics behind it,
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255. or what my responsibility
was to my profession.
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256. Hm.
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257. I just wanted to spend
my whole life within that,
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258. and I knew doing any less
was going to feel dishonest.
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259. Nothing haunts you
like the choices you don't make.
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260. Exactly.
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261. And the sex?
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262. Sublime.
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263. - I'm gonna head back inside.
- Have a good night.
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264. You too, Captain.
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265. - Excuse me.
- Listen up.
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266. It's time for office calisthenics.
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267. Please follow along,
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268. as studies show stretching
keeps proper blood flow to the muscles.
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269. This is mandatory.
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270. Let us begin.
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271. If this isn't Purgatory, right, or a cult,
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272. then I can't see how you'd say no
to it being performance art.
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273. But there's no audience.
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274. Art doesn't need an audience.
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275. It just needs to be pure.
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276. Yeah, that's not this.
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277. Look, look at this woman at the copier.
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278. Tell me that isn't pure.
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279. I can kind of see it.
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280. That's just crazy!
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281. So, what, the boss is like
some art director
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282. giving out lines
for a show no one is ever gonna see?
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283. Why not?
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284. Because it's insane!
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285. Okay, well, if it's not that,
then I have no idea what this is.
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286. It's just work!
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287. Why does it need to be
more complicated than that?
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288. Maybe he's just lonely.
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289. Three bananas,
two cups all-purpose flour…
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290. Hello?
- …one cup sugar, one spoon cinnamon.
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291. Who is this?
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292. These really are the best dreams.
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293. Work dream?
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294. Yeah.
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295. I got so much done.
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296. Come on.
I wanna show you something.
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297. This used to be the headquarters for this
big-time food and beverage company.
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298. But that's not the exciting part.
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299. Isn't this great? It's a tanning salon!
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300. The building must have rented out
an unused floor for extra money.
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301. What? What's wrong?
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302. Nothing.
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303. I was just expecting
more of a Wetzel's Pretzels situation.
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304. Come on. It's gonna be fun.
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305. We'll lotion, get some sun, some…
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306. some vitamin D.
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307. C-Come on, guys.
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308. C-C… Carol?
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309. I don't know.
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310. This kind of thing makes me uneasy.
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311. Fine.
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312. I was just trying to show you guys
something fun, and, uh…
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313. I'm sorry, it's just been a long night.
I feel, like, so…
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314. Luis, are you okay?
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315. Look, I'm sorry.
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316. We've been inside all day.
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317. Maybe some sun
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318. or pure, concentrated UV light
would do us some good.
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319. Right, Carol?
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320. Carol agrees too. Come on.
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321. Really?
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322. Yeah. But I'm keeping my clothes on.
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323. - I didn't plan on all this.
- That's totally fine.
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324. I promise… this is going to be great.
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325. I'm not gonna lie. This ain't bad.
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326. How you doing back there, Carol?
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327. It's sort of like a coffin.
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328. But the blue light makes it soothing.
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329. What would you get?
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330. Without a doubt,
the sesame chicken.
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331. Mm! It was the best in the world.
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332. The "world" world?
Like, this world?
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333. Absolutely.
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334. I've been all over,
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335. and nothing comes close
to the sesame chicken from Panda Express.
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336. I find that hard to believe.
- I've had it.
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337. It's very authentic.
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338. Yeah. I've ordered it too,
but I wouldn't call it all that.
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339. It's not even the best in the city.
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340. I didn't say anything
when you said Sbarro's, okay?
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341. I wasn't picking it for their pizza.
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342. I said that's where
I used to take my kids after games.
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343. That's what I miss.
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344. What about you, Carol?
Is there anything you miss?
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345. Um, well,
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346. recycling, mostly.
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347. And the feeling you get from saving money.
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348. And Applebee's.
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349. I wish I'd appreciated it more.
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350. You don't realize the true value of things
until they're gone.
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351. Is that like a Chili's?
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352. It's nothing like a Chili's.
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353. It's different. Trust me.
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354. So you've really traveled?
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355. Me? Oh yeah. I've been all over.
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356. The UK, Germany,
China, Albania, Madagascar.
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357. Name a place, I've been there.
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358. Ugh. Sounds exhausting.
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359. Yeah, well, I was a younger man then.
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360. I started at 17.
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361. Shit, 17?
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362. I was pregnant with Marlon at 17.
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363. That year I'd just come out to my parents,
and I went for it.
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364. I was like this burden had been lifted,
and I just said, "Fuck it!"
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365. I dropped out of school
and backpacked through South America.
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366. Was it nice?
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367. The best experience of my life.
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368. Wajto.
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369. What's that?
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370. Just a dude I met.
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371. Wajto.
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372. Flying stresses me out.
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373. The takeoffs, and the landing part,
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374. and I guess
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375. the part where you're in the air.
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376. Oh, traveling was never my thing either
with the kids and work.
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377. There was always something.
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378. That's what they're all doing now.
Traveling. Janet is in Ibiza.
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379. Oh! I love Ibiza!
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380. Oh! The club scene
and the drugs are fucking amazing!
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381. Of course. Great.
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382. But, honestly,
I… I don't think you missed out.
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383. Sure, the majority
of my trips were amazing, but…
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384. they were also such a blur.
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385. The friends you make all come and go,
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386. and… it starts to wear thin.
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387. You could be in paradise,
but you still feel so far away.
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388. I know what you mean.
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389. I spent my whole life thinking
I was working toward something.
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390. I screwed up in the beginning,
but I did everything right.
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391. Everything.
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392. Donna?
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393. Uh, Donna, y-you probably should get out.
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394. It's not something
you want to lie in for too long.
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395. Hello?
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396. You two look ridiculous.
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397. I just thought carving out a little piece
was gonna make a difference.
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398. Shit, owning a business
made me feel special.
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399. How dumb is that? And for what?
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400. So some fuckin' thing could
come out of the sky and wipe it all out?
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401. I just feel so stupid.
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402. You know why I'm here?
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403. I don't really know what I want.
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404. Everyone's got all these plans and I…
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405. Nothing wrong with that.
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406. Hell, work was the only thing
that ever made sense to me.
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407. Just clicks. That's the me I like.
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408. This is actually
the first job I've ever had.
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409. You've never worked before?
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410. Never. But I love
all those little tools you guys use.
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411. You know that feeling
when you press down on a stapler?
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412. I really enjoy that.
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413. The Post-its are my favorite.
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414. Oh, the click of the mouse.
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415. We should probably get back.
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416. I wonder where it came from.
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417. Doesn't matter.
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418. You know, I got a couple theories.
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419. - Hey, uh…
- Excuse me!
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420. Eyes up here, gang.
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421. You're all dismissed.
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422. See you Monday!
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423. Bye.
Copy !req
424. We live in the same building.
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425. Oh.
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426. I drive him to work.
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427. You said you had a business?
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428. A nail salon.
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429. Oh yeah?
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430. Yeah.
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431. I do all sorts of designs.
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432. French, floral stamp,
tribal, African, Aztec,
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433. jewel-encrusted, sequined,
tie-dyed, nude, silver-tipped,
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434. checkered, geometric, metallic,
monochrome, cobra, zigzag…
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435. Wow.
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436. Did you say "Aztec"?
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