Carol & the End of the World 1x1

Michael Chernus as Eric (voice) • Bridget Everett as Elena (voice)

Feeling adrift with seven months to go until doomsday, Carol visits her parents, runs some errands and hits it off with a mild-mannered stranger.

Request examples:

!req Carol & the End of the World 1x1 [02:32]
!req Carol & the End of the World 1x1 [Carol & the End of the World 1x1]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Carol & the End of the World 1x1 [10-11]; !req Carol & the End of the World 1x1 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, this train is no longer in service.

2. You smell that?

3. hurtling towards Earth. It's unclear, but we believe...

4. Does your dog know it's the end of the world?

5. Find meaning.

6. Live the life you want in the way you want.

7. Repent! Seek salvation. It's not too late.

8. massive job walk-offs, making work a thing of the past.

9. you're gonna have to wait to cross off Everest from your bucket list.

10. The stock market bell rang for the last time today.

11. Every second is precious now. Every moment...

12. At the speed it's moving, 9C will have the impact of a ten-million megaton...

13. Ernie Briggs achieved his lifelong dream of swimming across the English...

14. I've never felt more free!

15. Time is almost up!

16. With seven months and 13 days remaining, what will you be doing?

17. That's right. Seven months and now 12 days...

18. Hi, Dr. Berookim. This is, um, Carol Kohl.

19. I hope you're doing well.

20. Savoring life.

21. Um, I'm calling to maybe set up an appointment for a cleaning.

22. My schedule's pretty much open.

23. Again, this is Carol Kohl.

24. Hope to hear from you soon.

25. Okay, bye.

26. Hi, sweetie.

27. Hey, Mom.

28. Bernard! Michael! Carol's here.

29. Mom! Dad! Carol!

30. I love you!

31. See you on the ground!

32. One!

33. Two!

34. Whooo!

35. Oh, my goodness.

36. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!"

37. Franklin Roosevelt!

38. - What did she say? - I didn't know she knew French.

39. - That was really good, Mom. - Thanks, sweetie.

40. It's been fun cooking through all of Julia Child's.

41. This was one of the easier ones. What was that one we tried?

42. - The bouillabaisse. - Bouillabaisse was a disaster.

43. - We didn't clean the clams well enough. - I'm sure it was great.

44. - Your mother had to burn our sheets. - Cake?

45. You know,

46. you can talk to us about anything, right?

47. - I know. - Good.

48. And you're doing okay, right?

49. Yeah. I'm doing well.

50. Great. We just wanted to make sure.

51. Because the Sottos...

52. You... You remember the Sottos?

53. They have a dog?

54. Yeah, well, they said they saw you outside an Applebee's.

55. Oh.

56. The abandoned one on Junction.

57. Near the mall.

58. They said you were walking around, looking inside.

59. And then you...

60. They said you got inside and sat in one of the booths.

61. Sweetie, you can tell us. It's all right.

62. We just want to know. Was that you?

63. No, of course not.

64. Look, we're not going to be upset.

65. We just don't want you to miss out.

66. No, I'm doing stuff.

67. I'm fine.

68. I've been...

69. I've been...

70. learning to surf?

71. Oh, you're surfing?

72. Yeah, I've been surfing.

73. At the beach.

74. Honey, that's wonderful!

75. That does my heart good.

76. Yeah. I love it.

77. Oh, sweetie.

78. That's so great.

79. Michael, do you want cake?

80. It's such a gift.

81. Bernard.

82. Pauline.

83. So, I think I'm gonna go.

84. Um...

85. Do you still carry those chicken burrito bowls?

86. I think maybe you're out.

87. Maybe I missed it.

88. Carol?

89. Oh, my God! I knew that was you!

90. Oh. Hey, Janette.

91. You are not going to believe where I just came from.

92. The supermarket?

93. No, silly.

94. Lisa and I just got back from Tibet.

95. It was truly life-changing.

96. We went to Lhasa and did a lot of the boring, touristy things

97. like see the Potala Palace and the Jokhang Temple and Gelug.

98. It was hard at first because we didn't speak the language,

99. and the villages were pretty rural, so the food wasn't great.

100. But luckily we found a tour guide who had, you know, an okay grasp of English

101. and we got him to cook for us.

102. Carol, the Tibetan people are so welcoming.

103. They are incredible, Carol.

104. You just have to go.

105. Promise me you'll go, okay?

106. - Okay. - We really have to catch up.

107. - Okay. - I want to hear all about your adventures.

108. Yeah.

109. That would be great.

110. Please put...

111. your phone away.

112. Dear Ms. Kohl,

113. I hope this letter finds you well.

114. I'm personally writing to request that you stop sending checks

115. regarding your expired credit card statement.

116. I thank you for your years of patronage, but you no longer have any debt with us.

117. The only debt you owe is to yourself.

118. As the CEO of First National, I sacrificed everything for money.

119. The pursuit made me so anxious about my future,

120. I couldn't see the present.

121. The most precious resource we have is time.

122. Don't waste it on doubts and fears.

123. Live your life. Grab hold of it and never let go.

124. Life is a strange, beautiful mystery.

125. And I pray that you find the peace within you to enjoy it.

126. Yours in kindness, Michael Gorman, ex-CEO, First National Bank.

127. Yeah!

128. Fuck Keppler 9C!

129. Who's ready to die tonight?

130. I can't hear you!

131. I said, who the fuck is ready to die tonight?

132. Yeah!

133. Yeah, we're ready!

134. We about to get space fucked!

135. Sorry!

136. Watch it, lady!

137. I'm trying to leave.

138. I'm sorry.

139. Um, excuse me.

140. You mind if I...?

141. Oh, no. Go ahead.

142. Thanks.

143. - It's crazy out there. - I know.

144. - Did you see that grass area? - Yeah.

145. It's just too many people, you know?

146. It's crazy. I had to get out.

147. I just get so overwhelmed.

148. Yeah. I'm glad to be out.

149. Yeah!

150. Uh, you want a grapefruit La Croix?

151. Oh, sure.

152. Thanks.

153. Look at this guy.

154. Peacock man.

155. Unbelievable.

156. - Better? - Yeah. Much better.

157. I can't remember the last time I was on a swing.

158. - They used to scare me. - Really?

159. Yeah. Everyone would always want me to go higher,

160. but it never seemed worth it.

161. You never launched yourself off?

162. Never.

163. I didn't even like to be pushed.

164. I just found the seat comfortable.

165. - Garbage trucks. - What?

166. - Um, garbage trucks used to get me. - The smell?

167. No.

168. You know that sound the compactor makes when it's crushing everything inside?

169. That used to scare me.

170. The sound?

171. I... I guess I used to imagine someone getting trapped inside,

172. yelling out for help, but no one would hear it.

173. They would just keep adding more and more garbage, bag after bag,

174. compacting it until it was so compact

175. it became impossible to even scream.

176. Just these little squares filled with screams.

177. Yeah.

178. I can see that.

179. Morning, Jelly Bean. You sleep okay?

180. What?

181. - Not too cold, I hope. - No.

182. It was comfortable.

183. I made Denver omelets!

184. That's nice, but I think I'm gonna...

185. Move, please.

186. Oh, sorry.

187. Fucking Denver omelets again.

188. Yeah. This is really sweet.

189. Thank you, but I have to go.

190. Oh, that's too bad.

191. W-Well, do you want your omelet to go? I can put it in something.

192. No, that's...

193. Oh.

194. - Okay. - I'll call you.

195. Okay. Yeah.

196. - Talk to you soon. - Okay.

197. Thank you.

198. Yeah.

199. Oh, my God.

200. - All right! - Yeah!

201. Whoo! Get it, girl! Get it!

202. Hey, sweetie.

203. Just thinking about you and all the amazing things you're doing.

204. I'm so proud of you.

205. - Who is it? - It's Carol!

206. - Tell her I say hello! - Your mother says hello.

207. Is she coming over?

208. She wants to know when you're coming over.

209. - It's her machine. - What?

210. It's her machine!

211. Anyway, you're probably at the beach.

212. Give us a call back when you get this. Talk to you soon.

213. Hold on. Let me talk to her.

214. - I hung up. - What?

215. End of messages.

216. There isn't a single person out there who doesn't have it.

217. The hunger to do more, be more, live more.

218. We all have it.

219. What are you doing here?

220. What?

221. What are you doing here?

222. I'm doing my laundry.

223. My clothes were dirty, so I'm doing my laundry.

224. I'm cleaning my clothes.

225. But why are you here?

226. I don't know.

227. I... I don't... have anything else to do, so I'm...

228. But why are you here?

229. Where are your parents?

230. This is for grown-ups. Get out of here.

231. Yeah! Carpe diem, bitch!

232. Ride that dick!

233. - Carol? - Eric?

234. This is so crazy.

235. Go around!

236. Sorry. Do you mind putting on your hazards?

237. You don't know how happy I am to see you!

238. We didn't exchange numbers and I thought...

239. You know what? What are you doing right now?

240. Just driving home.

241. Can I show you something?

242. Um...

243. I was gonna...

244. Trust me. You're gonna love it.

245. Um...

246. Seize the day!

247. Do it!

248. No regrets!

249. What do you say?

250. - So they've been shouting at you all day? - A woman earlier told me to "get it."

251. - Get what? - I don't even know.

252. It's impossible to drive like that.

253. - At least it's positive stuff. - Yeah. I guess it could be worse.

254. Oh, so much worse.

255. I once got into it with a neighbor over an air compressor

256. and he spray-painted "jackass" on the front of my house.

257. Oh, my God.

258. It's funny now, but at the time I was so mad,

259. I walked over to his house with two buckets of paint.

260. - Oh, no. - Yeah.

261. And I was gonna write something really rude too.

262. But then I started thinking about him and his little boy,

263. and his little boy seeing what I wrote and,

264. well, uh,

265. I couldn't do it.

266. So I just wrote, "I forgive you" instead.

267. - What? - Yeah.

268. I took a paint roller and just scrawled "I forgive you"

269. in big paint letters across his garage.

270. I guess he didn't appreciate the sentiment because then he slashed my tires.

271. After that, the police got involved

272. and I was in and out of court for months...

273. Oh.

274. This is really great, by the way.

275. Usually it comes with a sauce,

276. but, uh, I don't know how to do that stuff, so I just cooked it.

277. Honestly, it's really nice.

278. I'm glad I came out.

279. I needed this.

280. Just a little further.

281. It's so peaceful.

282. This is my favorite spot in the whole city.

283. - I love you, Carol. - Oh.

284. It's sudden, I know, but I've never been so sure of anything in all my life.

285. I, uh...

286. - I'm sorry. - You don't understand.

287. After my wife left, I thought,

288. "That was it. I'm done. I'll never find anyone again."

289. But here you are.

290. Like a miracle from God, and...

291. I don't know how else to explain it,

292. but it's... it's like a light switched on, Carol.

293. I feel alive again!

294. Look, um, I think you're really nice, and I had a great time, but...

295. I'm nothing without you. We're meant for each other.

296. I know you see that!

297. I need you and you need me. You have to see that!

298. I'm sorry. I have to go.

299. Please don't go! I love you!

300. Thank you for dinner.

301. Look. Okay.

302. Maybe you'll never love me. But that shouldn't hold us back.

303. And honestly, it'd be foolish to think you'll love me the same way.

304. I don't expect that.

305. But right now, Carol, right now, I have enough love for the both of us.

306. Oh, God.

307. I can't die alone, Carol! I can't do it!

308. And it's killing me. And it's killing my son, Steven.

309. You remember Steven. He needs a mother, Carol.

310. Someone like you. Don't you see that?

311. Those feminine qualities of yours would go a long way to helping Steven.

312. This was a mistake. I'm sorry.

313. Can we at least talk about it?

314. Carol! Carol, please, come back!

315. Carol!

316. - Carol? - Hi, Mom.

317. I didn't know you were coming.

318. Yeah, um...

319. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hi.

320. How lovely.

321. Well, this is actually perfect. We were just about to call you.

322. What's with all the luggage?

323. That's what we wanted to talk to you about.

324. - Bernard! Do you have that brochure? - What?

325. The brochure!

326. Check the coffee table!

327. - Are you guys going somewhere? - It's not here!

328. We're taking a cruise!

329. Oh, wow.

330. We didn't want to make a decision until we were 100% sure you were okay.

331. But now that we know you found your way, we figured, why not?

332. Wow. This is...

333. Isn't it wonderful? It goes everywhere.

334. Havana, Costa Rica,

335. Hong Kong, Bangkok,

336. Bora Bora, New Zealand.

337. Your father, Michael, and I are gonna see the world!

338. This is... really great, Mom.

339. It's going to be so much fun.

340. There she is.

341. Sweetie, before we go, we wanted to get you something for your journey.

342. You really shouldn't have.

343. Open it.

344. It's a surfboard.

345. Now, when you're surfing, it'll be like we're there with you.

346. It's even got your name.

347. We're going to miss you so much.

348. Sorry.

349. It's the right size. Right?

350. No, yeah. It... It's perfect.

351. Oh, sweetie. You're doing it, sweetheart.

352. You're living.

353. We love you, sweetheart.

354. You have to pull the cord!

355. What?

356. Pull the cord!

357. I don't speak French!

358. Everything looks so good.

359. I know what I'm getting.

360. What about you, Jelly Bean?

361. My menu's blank.

362. My menu's blank.

363. My menu's blank!

364. Ma'am, you can't sleep here.

365. We've gotten complaints about loiterers. You need to move your car.

366. Sorry, I...

367. Let me just...

368. Looks like your battery is dead.

369. - Um... - You need to go now, ma'am.

370. Holy shit.