1. Ok, campers. Quiet down, everyone, please.Copy !req
2. Please, the theater demands your utmost respect-Copy !req
3. SHUT YOUR YAPS, IT'S TIME FOR THE PLAY!Copy !req
4. Ahem, thank you Gwen.Copy !req
5. DON'T MENTION IT!Copy !req
6. Tonight's presentation is brought to you by theater camp's very own: Preston Goodplay!Copy !req
7. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
8. It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to tonight's production.Copy !req
9. Written and directed, of course, by me.Copy !req
10. It is a classic tale of forbidden love, betrayal, and friendship.Copy !req
11. So without further ado I present to you:Copy !req
12. Romeo and Juliet II: Love RessurrectedCopy !req
13. Horseback, training that'll save you from a heart attackCopy !req
14. This is absolutely humiliating!Copy !req
15. What a waste of time!Copy !req
16. I could be working on that flame-thrower right now.Copy !req
17. I hate being Juliet!Copy !req
18. I wanna be someone cool, like Xena,Copy !req
19. or Rambo!Copy !req
20. You nervous about your big kiss scene?Copy !req
21. Don't remind me! I'm already freaking out!Copy !req
22. Y'know Juliet should've done karate instead of kissing boys.Copy !req
23. HIYAH!Copy !req
24. Maybe she wouldn't have died then.Copy !req
25. Has anyone seen my phone?Copy !req
26. I must have dropped it while doing my smile exercises.Copy !req
27. Don't admit to that...Copy !req
28. Is that David's phone?Copy !req
29. Pipe down, I'm checking his...Copy !req
30. Oh my God, he has a Tinder account.Copy !req
31. Tinder? What's that?Copy !req
32. Oh, it's that dating app for losers who can't meet people in real lifeCopy !req
33. Ohh, yeah! My dad used that when my mom left him... Again.Copy !req
34. Guuyys, you're just adding to my anxiety! If you don't return the phone, I'm going to have a panic attack,Copy !req
35. and that's on you!Copy !req
36. Oh man, he's got like seven pictures on his profile.Copy !req
37. Tch, can you say desperate?Copy !req
38. Wizard!Copy !req
39. You're about to get your cue!Copy !req
40. I will not have you ruffians RUIN MY BIG DEBUT!Copy !req
41. Now get!Copy !req
42. Space Kid: I'm afraid we have no other choiceCopy !req
43. We must turn to...Copy !req
44. Pause...Copy !req
45. Black magic!Copy !req
46. Yo, did someone say black magic?Copy !req
47. *Facepalm* Amatuers!Copy !req
48. Space Kid: Ahh, mighty wizard!Copy !req
49. Please revive our daughter, who died so foolishly.Copy !req
50. What's in it for me?Copy !req
51. Space Kid: Ummuh, that's not your line...Copy !req
52. Yeah, I'm just messin'.Copy !req
53. Okay!Copy !req
54. One revived daughter, comin' right up.Copy !req
55. Latinus speakitus revivedeadjuliettusCopy !req
56. Man, who wrote this?Copy !req
57. I'm baaaaack!Copy !req
58. That's the end of Act I.Copy !req
59. Intermission time.Copy !req
60. GO GET SOME SNACKS!Copy !req
61. Welp, that's it for me.Copy !req
62. Thanks for your contribution.Copy !req
63. An inanimate object stuffed with hay could have acted better!Copy !req
64. Platypus, you're doing great!Copy !req
65. Stole the scene!Copy !req
66. Keep it up!Copy !req
67. Muack!Copy !req
68. Alright people, get your SHIT together!Copy !req
69. You're up next.Copy !req
70. Break a leg, buddy.Copy !req
71. You're right!Copy !req
72. If I'm injured, I can't perform!Copy !req
73. Hit me!Copy !req
74. Hit me hard!Copy !req
75. It's gotta look convincing.Copy !req
76. What are you doing?Copy !req
77. Changing David's Tinder profile, of course.Copy !req
78. Hey, how do you spell conquistador?Copy !req
79. There he is!Copy !req
80. Look how nervous he is.Copy !req
81. God, he's so HAWT!Copy !req
82. He's obviously a loser, Tabii.Copy !req
83. Oh, look how the sweat on his upper lipCopy !req
84. glistens in the moonlight.Copy !req
85. I can't believe we came all the way to thisCopy !req
86. hella gross camp to see him.Copy !req
87. There's, like, dirt everywhere.Copy !req
88. Our love is forbidden just like Romeo and Juilet's.Copy !req
89. But we will be together even if it costs us our lives.Copy !req
90. UGH!Copy !req
91. It's so romantic! I wanna die!Copy !req
92. He called us cunts last time he saw us...Copy !req
93. Whatever.Copy !req
94. I know he wants my bod.Copy !req
95. I'm gonna make that kissing scene so hot, it'll be rated TV Y 7.Copy !req
96. He will be mine!Copy !req
97. Back from the snack bar!Copy !req
98. Ooh, did you get my pumpkin spice?Copy !req
99. Totes.Copy !req
100. At long last, mein creation is complete!Copy !req
101. Be reborn!Copy !req
102. Systems startup.Copy !req
103. Installing Windows update.Copy !req
104. Yes! Rise! Rise und be reborn Robo-Romeo.Copy !req
105. The breath of life is returned to me.Copy !req
106. Pray tell, Friar Lawrence, where is my Juilet?Copy !req
107. It appears, my son, in her sorrow, she killed herself.Copy !req
108. Nooo!Copy !req
109. Ugh. Why is he so sweaty? Robots can't sweat.Copy !req
110. THIS ISN'T CANON!Copy !req
111. You're doing great Nurf.Copy !req
112. Ugh. What smells like daisies?Copy !req
113. Wow. Nicki? You're, like, such a good actor.Copy !req
114. Oh, thank you, omnious offscreen voice-Copy !req
115. Wait a minute- GAH!Copy !req
116. Somebody help me!Copy !req
117. Oh hello Bonquisha.Copy !req
118. Yes, I will swipe right.Copy !req
119. I am now machine but my heart still makes me human.Copy !req
120. And my sweet Juilet is no more.Copy !req
121. Why should I be brought back to such miserable conditions?Copy !req
122. Fret not, Robo-Romeo.Copy !req
123. Uhh. Tabii? With two I's?Copy !req
124. No, yon fool. I'm Juilet, your one true love.Copy !req
125. Doth you not remember?Copy !req
126. I am no spectre.Copy !req
127. I have been revived!Copy !req
128. I don't know who this bitch is,Copy !req
129. but she is killing it! Ah!Copy !req
130. Oh, Robo-Romeo, soon the evil empire will beCopy !req
131. upon us and you'll have to fight to save the galaxy.Copy !req
132. Let us kiss one last timeCopy !req
133. before you possibly die in the battle.Copy !req
134. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
135. Who the hell is this ho?Copy !req
136. Wait, who- who are you?Copy !req
137. Don't you who are you me David.Copy !req
138. You call yourself a conquistador.Copy !req
139. I thought we had meaningful texts.Copy !req
140. I told you my age, sex, and location.Copy !req
141. Oh my god.Copy !req
142. Uh, excuse me?Copy !req
143. Who's this?Copy !req
144. Well, David, explain yourself.Copy !req
145. I'm not David!Copy !req
146. He's my Romeo!Copy !req
147. You best step off before I rip that weave off your head.Copy !req
148. Oh, you wanna go, little girl?Copy !req
149. I need to stop this.Copy !req
150. Why? This is awesome. Whoo! You go girl!Copy !req
151. Oh man, this is going better than I could have hoped!Copy !req
152. You! You did this! You little rat!Copy !req
153. Of course I did. Your play's stupid, Preston.Copy !req
154. Max! What is this?Copy !req
155. Oh hey David! Uh, found your phone.Copy !req
156. I'm not sure how this could get any worse.Copy !req
157. Agent #2: Nobody move. We've pinpointed someCopy !req
158. questionable searches from a phone in this area.Copy !req
159. Agent #1: Such searches includeCopy !req
160. how to blow up a summer camp, super murder plot,Copy !req
161. and what do boobies look like?Copy !req
162. Ah, dangit.Copy !req
163. Agent #2: There he is.Copy !req
164. Agent #1: Get him!Copy !req
165. The theatre! The cruelest mistress of all!Copy !req
166. My career! Like the mistakes of so many teenage girls,Copy !req
167. has been aborted.Copy !req
168. Agent #2: You're going away for a long time, buddy.Copy !req
169. You can't take me to prison.Copy !req
170. I've been framed! I'm just like Steven Avery!Copy !req
171. Wait. I can fix this.Copy !req
172. Everyone stop.Copy !req
173. Agent #2: Who is this wizkid?Copy !req
174. Bonquisha, I'm sorry.Copy !req
175. You were texting me all along.Copy !req
176. I took David's phone just to mess with himCopy !req
177. I led you on.Copy !req
178. Oh, nobody plays Bonquisha like that.Copy !req
179. Kick his ass!Copy !req
180. Max, shame on you.Copy !req
181. My apologies, ma'am.Copy !req
182. What about me?Copy !req
183. Where's my apology?Copy !req
184. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not sure who you are.Copy !req
185. Agent #2: Well, the kid apologized.Copy !req
186. Agent #1: I'd say he learned a lesson.Copy !req
187. Agent #2: Affirmative.Copy !req
188. Ow!Copy !req
189. Agent #2: You in charge here?Copy !req
190. Uh, kinda?Copy !req
191. Agent #2: Hmm. What's the deal here?Copy !req
192. Why do you got nerd kid in your theatre camp?Copy !req
193. Agent #1: Are you guys running some kind of camp scam?Copy !req
194. Oh, no, sirs. Nothing morally grey going on here.Copy !req
195. Agent #2: Fair enough. Since we have you here,Copy !req
196. have you seen this man?Copy !req
197. Oh, uh, I've been told to tell you no.Copy !req
198. Agent #1: I can't argue with that.Copy !req
199. Agent #2: Let's get outta here.Copy !req
200. Oh Robo-Romeo.Copy !req
201. Alas, doomed by the tricks of this wizardCopy !req
202. and life without my sweet Romeo is a life not worth living.Copy !req
203. Oh, happy dagger, blah blah blah,Copy !req
204. Kill me.Copy !req
205. Bleh.Copy !req
206. Damn right.Copy !req
207. Attention fellow campers.Copy !req
208. I would just like to apologizeCopy !req
209. for the sheer absurdness that you've witnessed.Copy !req
210. Please, be kind as you judge this playCopy !req
211. and if you happen to be from Rotten Tomatoes,Copy !req
212. please rate Fresh!Copy !req
213. Thank you!Copy !req
214. No please!Copy !req
215. I was setting up a trilogy!Copy !req
216. Give up on your dream!Copy !req
217. Well, that all worked out!Copy !req
218. You have got some serious explaining to do!Copy !req
219. I stole your phone and identityCopy !req
220. and played with women's hearts.Copy !req
221. What do you need explained?Copy !req
222. Excuse me, sugar.Copy !req
223. You owe Bonquisha a date.Copy !req
224. I- but- that wasn't-Copy !req
225. Nuh-uh, somebody's going outCopy !req
226. with Bonquisha one way or another.Copy !req
227. Guh! Wait! Can't we just be friends?Copy !req
228. Sorry about our friend.Copy !req
229. Yeah. She's the dumb one.Copy !req
230. Ugh. Why am I so sweaty?Copy !req
231. What did I miss?Copy !req
232. An Oscar-worthy performance by yours truly.Copy !req
233. They don't give Oscars for stage performances.Copy !req
234. That's how good it was.Copy !req
235. Even Nikki would have been impressed.Copy !req
236. Huh. Where is Nikki?Copy !req
237. Guys? Anyone?Copy !req
238. The blood is rushing to my head!Copy !req
239. Well, guess it's time to drink my own pee.Copy !req