1. Peralta,
you need to come with me right now.
Copy !req
2. Can I eat my bagel?
Copy !req
3. Trust me, you're not gonna
wanna eat before you see this.
Copy !req
4. That's Shane Reed.
Suspect in a string of B&Es.
Copy !req
5. Got pulled over this
morning. This was in his trunk.
Copy !req
6. Son of a bitch!
Copy !req
7. Peralta... Peralta,
calm down.
Copy !req
8. Why am I here?
I didn't do anything.
Copy !req
9. You broke into
15 houses, Shane,
Copy !req
10. but that's not what
I care about right now.
Copy !req
11. All I care about is what
we found in your car.
Copy !req
12. I don't understand. He
doesn't understand, Diaz.
Copy !req
13. Why don't you
fill him in?
Copy !req
14. "You are invited
to celebrate the wedding
Copy !req
15. "of Katherine Joyner
and Douglas Judy."
Copy !req
16. Douglas Judy, AKA Doug Judy,
AKA, the Pontiac Bandit.
Copy !req
17. Maybe.
That's a yes.
Copy !req
18. Now tell me, Shane,
when did you get the invite?
Copy !req
19. What? When did you
receive the invite in the mail,
Copy !req
20. and how come
I didn't get one?
Copy !req
21. Why would you get an
invite? Do you know Doug?
Copy !req
22. Hey, I'm the one asking
the questions here!
Copy !req
23. Calm down, Jake.
Maybe it's a small wedding.
Copy !req
24. Okay, good point. How big is the venue,
Shane?
Copy !req
25. I said how big
is the venue?
Copy !req
26. I don't know!
Copy !req
27. I don't
know! But I bet you do know
Copy !req
28. the password to the wedding website,
don't you?
Copy !req
29. Yeah, I guess.
Copy !req
30. Well, then I guess you
better tell it to me, Shane.
Copy !req
31. You wash my back,
I'll wash yours.
Copy !req
32. Wash? I meant scratch.
You know I meant scratch.
Copy !req
33. Now tell me the password. I
think it's "dougandkateforever."
Copy !req
34. There,
was that so hard, Shane?
Copy !req
35. You did
the right thing.
Copy !req
36. Now get this piece of
trash out of my sight.
Copy !req
37. Oh, is forever spelled
out or is it the number four?
Copy !req
38. Oh, it's spelled out.
Okay, thank you so much.
Copy !req
39. Now get this piece
of trash out of my sight!
Copy !req
40. I'm so glad
you called.
Copy !req
41. Thanks for meeting me
at my favorite establishment.
Copy !req
42. A place where
you paint pottery?
Copy !req
43. I find a hand-painted mug
Copy !req
44. makes a thoughtful
gift for any occasion.
Copy !req
45. So, what's going on?
Copy !req
46. Anything exciting
in your life
Copy !req
47. that you maybe
wanna tell me about?
Copy !req
48. I got a new job.
I sit behind white CEOs
Copy !req
49. when they have
to testify before Congress,
Copy !req
50. so they don't
look so racist.
Copy !req
51. Every 15 minutes I just
whisper some nonsense at 'em.
Copy !req
52. The texture of quiche
is unsettling.
Copy !req
53. I got paid $75,000
for that nonsense.
Copy !req
54. That's cool,
congratulations.
Copy !req
55. But there's nothing else,
Copy !req
56. you know, maybe
even more interesting
Copy !req
57. that you wanna
fill me in on?
Copy !req
58. It seemed like
a pretty cool fact to me.
Copy !req
59. All right. Look, Judy,
I know you're getting married.
Copy !req
60. Damn it. I didn't think
you'd find out about that.
Copy !req
61. Who told you?
Ronnie? Bobby?
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62. Ricky? Mike?
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63. Don't try and change
the subject by tricking me
Copy !req
64. into singing
New Edition with you.
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65. I don't know what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
66. Ronnie, Bobby,
Ricky and Mike...
Copy !req
67. If I love
the girl Who cares who you like
Copy !req
68. Whoo!
So all is forgiven?
Copy !req
69. No! Why didn't you
invite me?
Copy !req
70. I wanted to,
Copy !req
71. but a lot of people
in my life are crooks,
Copy !req
72. and they think it's weird
that I'm friends with a cop.
Copy !req
73. They just don't
understand. Kind of like...
Copy !req
74. parents?
Copy !req
75. No, no more songs.
Copy !req
76. Look, I'm having
my bachelor party
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77. tomorrow night and I
want you to be there.
Copy !req
78. We'll make up
a criminal alias for you
Copy !req
79. so you can meet the boys.
Copy !req
80. Obviously that's
a super cool plan,
Copy !req
81. but no, I don't
want your pity.
Copy !req
82. Suit yourself,
Copy !req
83. but it's gonna be
one sexy-ass weekend.
Copy !req
84. Like...
Copy !req
85. How sexy-ass
are we talking here?
Copy !req
86. Private jet
to Miami, baby!
Copy !req
87. And there's
a red carpet!
Copy !req
88. Forget the red carpet.
Private jet!
Copy !req
89. Yes, and a jet!
Copy !req
90. The jet is better.
Copy !req
91. Miami, here we come!
Whoo!
Copy !req
92. Today is Holt's
first day
Copy !req
93. back in his office
Copy !req
94. and I wanna make sure
Copy !req
95. everything is just
how he left it.
Copy !req
96. Now, I can't
remember,
Copy !req
97. was this little
figurine of Cheddar
Copy !req
98. at a 45 or 50
degree angle?
Copy !req
99. Terry, it's a five
degree difference.
Copy !req
100. You better
figure it out.
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101. Ah, I missed
this place.
Copy !req
102. Huh, little
Cheddar's askew.
Copy !req
103. You really made yourself at home,
didn't you, Jeffords?
Copy !req
104. But, uh, no matter.
Copy !req
105. Just glad to be here.
Copy !req
106. I am a captain again.
Back where I belong.
Copy !req
107. Everything is perfect.
Copy !req
108. Wow. There's
absolutely nothing
Copy !req
109. that could
puncture my...
Copy !req
110. Where's the business card? What?
Copy !req
111. The business card
that was right here.
Copy !req
112. It had a piece of gum on it.
It's very important to me.
Copy !req
113. You didn't throw it away,
did you?
Copy !req
114. Pfft! No, Terry
would never
Copy !req
115. throw away something that
looked exactly like trash.
Copy !req
116. Good. I'll be back
in half an hour.
Copy !req
117. Make sure it's
on my desk by then.
Copy !req
118. Will do, sir.
I got it. I'm on it.
Copy !req
119. I definitely
threw it away.
Copy !req
120. I want you
to meet the guys.
Copy !req
121. This is Nathan,
Josh, and Chuck.
Copy !req
122. This is my buddy, Sean,
from prison. How's it going, fellas?
Copy !req
123. I've never heard you
mention Sean before.
Copy !req
124. Yeah, well, like he said,
I just got out of jail.
Copy !req
125. Five years. Tough
sentence. What'd you do?
Copy !req
126. Elder abuse. Got my grandpa good,
so...
Copy !req
127. Damn, that's
very upsetting.
Copy !req
128. Damn
straight it is.
Copy !req
129. Elder abuse?
Copy !req
130. I was trying to think
of something that
Copy !req
131. wouldn't inspire any
follow-up questions.
Copy !req
132. Doug Judy!
Copy !req
133. Cubes!
Copy !req
134. My man.
Copy !req
135. Sean, I'd like you
to meet the man
Copy !req
136. whose private jet
we are flying on today.
Copy !req
137. Yeah, you're Mark Cuban.
Copy !req
138. How do you guys
know each other?
Copy !req
139. Doug came on Shark Tank
Copy !req
140. to pitch his idea
for the Smush Shush.
Copy !req
141. It's a noise-cancelling
blanket for secret sex.
Copy !req
142. The product demonstration
did not go well.
Copy !req
143. Robert fainted.
Anyway, enjoy the jet.
Copy !req
144. Just bring it back
in one piece, okay?
Copy !req
145. No promises,
Mark Cuban.
Copy !req
146. I mean, we do wanna
make sure the airplane
Copy !req
147. stays in one piece
though, right?
Copy !req
148. Nah, I saw Flight.
Copy !req
149. If anything goes wrong,
fly the plane upside down.
Copy !req
150. Oh, right, I forgot about
Flight, the movie, Flight.
Copy !req
151. All right,
let's rip it up!
Copy !req
152. What's going on here?
Copy !req
153. Oh, measuring
the space.
Copy !req
154. We finally got
a work order
Copy !req
155. approved to fix
the outlet, so...
Copy !req
156. We can get
a third vending machine.
Copy !req
157. What?
Copy !req
158. A third
vending machine.
Copy !req
159. Why are you whispering about
getting a new vending machine?
Copy !req
160. New vending machine!
What model number?
Copy !req
161. Oh, that's why.
Copy !req
162. We asked you
what model number.
Copy !req
163. I don't know,
a normal one
Copy !req
164. with glass in the front.
Copy !req
165. Seriously? Did you even
look into the DiGiSnax 600E?
Copy !req
166. I'd be into a fancy
machine, too.
Copy !req
167. I was just reading
about a Japanese one
Copy !req
168. that serves shellfish.
Copy !req
169. We're not getting
a shellfish machine.
Copy !req
170. Yeah, Boyle, we're
getting a smart machine
Copy !req
171. that suggests soda pairings
based on your chip choice.
Copy !req
172. Or one with a
make-it-wet gravy feature.
Copy !req
173. Okay, look. Why don't
you get a few options together
Copy !req
174. and then
I'll decide, okay?
Copy !req
175. At least Terry's
not here
Copy !req
176. to try to make me
get a yogurt machine.
Copy !req
177. What was that
about yogurt?
Copy !req
178. This jet is insane.
There's a private chef
Copy !req
179. that'll make
anything you ask for,
Copy !req
180. no matter how expensive.
Copy !req
181. I just ordered
lobster enchanté.
Copy !req
182. Oh, damn, what's that?
Copy !req
183. I don't know. I just said the
fanciest words I could think of.
Copy !req
184. Oh, I'm gonna get
the Veal Prime Minister.
Copy !req
185. Mmm, that sounds good.
Copy !req
186. Hey, you wanna
try out the Smush Shush?
Copy !req
187. What? You have
one with you?
Copy !req
188. I take it
everywhere, baby.
Copy !req
189. Yeah, there it is.
Copy !req
190. Yeah.
So it's noise canceling?
Copy !req
191. It's so heavy.
Copy !req
192. It's crushing my bones.
Copy !req
193. Yeah, that was the Shark's
problem with it, too.
Copy !req
194. I can't breathe.
Get it off me.
Copy !req
195. Get it off me.
Copy !req
196. Yeah, you sound exactly
like Barbara right now.
Copy !req
197. Disappointed in you, Jake.
Copy !req
198. Pilot says we're
starting our descent.
Copy !req
199. Then let's get
changed, boys!
Copy !req
200. Changed? But these
are my coolest clothes.
Copy !req
201. I got them from
a targeted Instagram ad
Copy !req
202. after looking
at photos of Cam Newton.
Copy !req
203. The outfit's beautiful,
but it doesn't really say...
Copy !req
204. "Miami."
Copy !req
205. What does say, "Miami"?
Copy !req
206. Are you sure this is
culturally okay for me?
Copy !req
207. We're gonna find out.
All right.
Copy !req
208. Damn, Judy,
this place is nice.
Copy !req
209. Yeah,
some Russian oligarch got the penthouse,
Copy !req
210. but this is
the second nicest room.
Copy !req
211. Surprise!
Copy !req
212. Trudy Judy! What you doing
here? I thought you were in prison.
Copy !req
213. Nope, I was
a real sweet pea,
Copy !req
214. so they let me out
for good behavior.
Copy !req
215. What the hell?
Copy !req
216. What's this narc doing here?
Copy !req
217. What?
Copy !req
218. Nuh-uh!
Copy !req
219. What the hell was that?
You almost blew my cover.
Copy !req
220. Yeah, they're
all suspicious now.
Copy !req
221. You have to help us convince
them that Jake's not a cop.
Copy !req
222. Why? I don't understand
why you invited him.
Copy !req
223. This was supposed
to be a crazy weekend
Copy !req
224. of boobs and butts.
Copy !req
225. Trudy Judy, you're not gonna
see boobs or butts this weekend.
Copy !req
226. I'll see butts
if I wanna see butts.
Copy !req
227. And Jake is here
because he's my friend
Copy !req
228. and he really
wanted to come.
Copy !req
229. No, he's up
to something.
Copy !req
230. He's probably here
to arrest Chuck.
Copy !req
231. I would never
arrest Chuck.
Copy !req
232. But, I mean,
why'd you say that? What did Chuck do?
Copy !req
233. Wow. Cops
always be copping.
Copy !req
234. That's not true.
I do bad things.
Copy !req
235. One time I illegally
downloaded an O-Town album.
Copy !req
236. Dang, that's one
of the hardest boy bands.
Copy !req
237. Exactly, they're scary.
Look, I can be cool.
Copy !req
238. As long as nobody
commits any major crimes
Copy !req
239. in front of me.
Copy !req
240. It's not a problem. We don't
have to break the law to have fun.
Copy !req
241. We gonna have some drinks,
smoke some Cubans,
Copy !req
242. eat a steak,
either crazy big or crazy small,
Copy !req
243. whichever's
more expensive.
Copy !req
244. I'd rather see butts.
Copy !req
245. Fine, if I let you
see butts,
Copy !req
246. will you convince the guys
that Jake's not a cop?
Copy !req
247. How many butts
are we talking?
Copy !req
248. Six.
Ten.
Copy !req
249. Seven.
Nine.
Copy !req
250. Fine, eight. I'll meet you in the
middle. Nah, you waited too long.
Copy !req
251. Now it's up to 14.
Fourteen butts?
Copy !req
252. Mmm-hmm. She's a grown
woman. Just let her see butts, man.
Copy !req
253. Thank you, Jake.
Thank you for coming
Copy !req
254. to my aid on
the butt thing.
Copy !req
255. One step closer to trust.
Now I'ma go out there
Copy !req
256. and help your
fedora-wearing
Copy !req
257. Jason Mraz-looking
ass, okay?
Copy !req
258. I think I look like
Andy Garcia in this hat.
Copy !req
259. You look like Seth Green.
Copy !req
260. Seth Green?
No, Tom Green.
Copy !req
261. You're thinking of Tom
Green. Tom Green.
Copy !req
262. Tom Green? No,
go back to Jason Mraz.
Copy !req
263. Okay, so, Holt's gum-covered
business card is long gone.
Copy !req
264. But I have a plan.
Copy !req
265. Great, what's the scheme?
Copy !req
266. Well, when I first moved in,
I took a couple selfies
Copy !req
267. to commemorate
getting my own office.
Copy !req
268. A couple?
Copy !req
269. Oh, please. Like you
don't have any selfies.
Copy !req
270. Let me see
your camera roll.
Copy !req
271. Zero photos?
That's so much weirder.
Copy !req
272. Thank you.
Anyway, look.
Copy !req
273. If you zoom in enough,
Copy !req
274. you can see the business card.
Copy !req
275. We can recreate it
and print a new one.
Copy !req
276. Wait, does that
say "Zeff Wilcox"?
Copy !req
277. Zeff? No,
it's probably Jeff.
Copy !req
278. You know, like
a normal human name.
Copy !req
279. Names are all made up.
Copy !req
280. There's no such thing
as a normal name.
Copy !req
281. "Terry."
Copy !req
282. I am not putting "Zeff" on
that card. It's your funeral.
Copy !req
283. Have you found
my business card?
Copy !req
284. Uh, you know what,
I actually brought it home by accident.
Copy !req
285. I got confused because I
know someone with that name.
Copy !req
286. You know another Zeff?
Copy !req
287. Yeah, he's married
to Sharon's friend, Zudy.
Copy !req
288. We have dinner with Zeff
and Zudy once a month.
Copy !req
289. You know, I'm gonna
go home and get it.
Copy !req
290. Excuse me.
Copy !req
291. I think they swing.
Copy !req
292. So in the end, it's more
than a vending machine.
Copy !req
293. It's a vending experience.
Copy !req
294. A vending experience that
serves fried octopus balls?
Copy !req
295. It also serves eel balls
and clam balls and...
Copy !req
296. It's really just
the three kinds of balls.
Copy !req
297. Oh, okay.
On that horrifying note,
Copy !req
298. Scully and Hitchcock,
it's your turn.
Copy !req
299. Allow me to introduce
you to the Q3400.
Copy !req
300. "She's got it all.
Chips, candy, soda,
Copy !req
301. "and a whole
lot of class."
Copy !req
302. "That sounds
great for snacking,
Copy !req
303. "but what if I'm stuck
working late at the office?"
Copy !req
304. "How about a
personal-sized frozen pizza?"
Copy !req
305. "And then what?
I have to carry it
Copy !req
306. "all the way over to the
microwave on my own?
Copy !req
307. "Who has the time?"
Copy !req
308. Well, you're in luck,
because..."
Copy !req
309. I get it! It cooks
the pizza for you.
Copy !req
310. It cooks
the pizza for you.
Copy !req
311. And you know
Copy !req
312. It ain't fiction
Copy !req
313. It's a natural fact
Copy !req
314. Whoo, we come together
Copy !req
315. 'Cause opposites attract
Copy !req
316. No applause? Wow.
Copy !req
317. I'm still just a little confused.
Who is Sean, really?
Copy !req
318. Why'd your sister say he
was a narc? Is he a cop?
Copy !req
319. He's not a cop.
He caught me
Copy !req
320. cheating on my boyfriend
and he snitched.
Copy !req
321. It was a real dick move,
but I have since forgiven him.
Copy !req
322. It's just weird that none of us
have ever heard of him before.
Copy !req
323. And we're paranoid
because Doug still
Copy !req
324. has that cop friend
in the NYPD.
Copy !req
325. That dude is not
my friend. Yeah.
Copy !req
326. He dumb as hell.
Yeah.
Copy !req
327. I'm always tricking him.
Well, not every time.
Copy !req
328. Plus, he's short. Everyone's
short to you. You're a giant.
Copy !req
329. Probably never
even had sex.
Copy !req
330. Seems unlikely.
He's an adult.
Copy !req
331. But the point is,
I'm Sean. Tall Sean.
Copy !req
332. Okay, well, I'm glad
to hear you're not a narc,
Copy !req
333. 'cause it'd have been
real awkward considering
Copy !req
334. what we did earlier.
Huh?
Copy !req
335. While you were checking in,
we stole $10 million
Copy !req
336. worth of diamonds from that rich
Russian dude in the penthouse!
Copy !req
337. Bling,
bling, baby!
Copy !req
338. You idiots. He's NYPD.
That's Doug's cop friend.
Copy !req
339. Wow. Way to ruin Doug's
bachelor party, Trudy.
Copy !req
340. What a buzzkill,
right, guys?
Copy !req
341. I knew it was a mistake
to invite a cop.
Copy !req
342. That's why you
should only interact
Copy !req
343. with people who are
exactly the same as you.
Copy !req
344. That's a terrible
lesson.
Copy !req
345. Sometimes things
aren't lessons.
Copy !req
346. Sometimes things are
just messed up facts.
Copy !req
347. Guys, relax,
Jake wasn't gonna arrest anybody.
Copy !req
348. No, I definitely was.
Copy !req
349. With what evidence? The
diamonds aren't even here.
Copy !req
350. They confessed
right in front of me.
Copy !req
351. Why would you
pull a heist
Copy !req
352. in the middle
of my bachelor party?
Copy !req
353. You pulled a heist
during my wedding.
Copy !req
354. He's a cop, man.
Come on, chill.
Copy !req
355. Judy. Come on,
guys. What are we gonna do?
Copy !req
356. I say we tie
this narc up,
Copy !req
357. leave him
to starve,
Copy !req
358. and disappear
with the diamonds.
Copy !req
359. Chuck.
We're not doing that.
Copy !req
360. Thank you. It'll ruin
my bachelor party.
Copy !req
361. That's your issue with it? I put
a lot of work into this weekend.
Copy !req
362. I got us all shirts that
say, "Doug's Dudes."
Copy !req
363. Ooh. Sorry,
but what's done is done.
Copy !req
364. It's not like we can
put the diamonds back.
Copy !req
365. Hold up,
that's a great idea.
Copy !req
366. We pull
a reverse heist.
Copy !req
367. Does the Russian know
his diamonds are missing?
Copy !req
368. No, we swapped
them for fakes.
Copy !req
369. Perfect, that means he hasn't
reported it. No harm, no foul.
Copy !req
370. Okay, wait. I mean,
obviously I love the premise
Copy !req
371. and I think a reverse heist
would make for a great movie
Copy !req
372. and I already
have the tag line,
Copy !req
373. "This summer there are
takebacks." Love that.
Copy !req
374. The poster would be you and me
back-to-back with our arms crossed,
Copy !req
375. but no,
I'm not on board with this. I'm a cop.
Copy !req
376. And a cop's job
is to prevent crime
Copy !req
377. and that's what
you'd be doing.
Copy !req
378. Please, Jake. For me?
Copy !req
379. Okay, fine. 'Cause it's
your bachelor party
Copy !req
380. and only if I see them
put back with my own eyes.
Copy !req
381. Yes! Deal.
Reverse heist, baby.
Copy !req
382. The Takeback.
Coming this fall to HBO.
Copy !req
383. It's a TV show now? Well,
that's where all the best content is.
Copy !req
384. So what do you think?
Copy !req
385. Which gum looks the most
like the one from the picture?
Copy !req
386. Two pink, too wet,
too small,
Copy !req
387. too chewed, too smooth,
Copy !req
388. too wet, all wrong,
too pink,
Copy !req
389. too fresh,
too dirty, too clean.
Copy !req
390. None of these work.
You struck out.
Copy !req
391. We don't have any time.
What do we do?
Copy !req
392. I don't know.
Pick one and pray.
Copy !req
393. Uh, I'm gonna
go with you.
Copy !req
394. Not that one.
Copy !req
395. This one.
Copy !req
396. Hmm. It's a little
less pink than I recall.
Copy !req
397. But I suppose we exaggerate
the beauty of those we love.
Copy !req
398. It's good to have you back,
old friend.
Copy !req
399. Can I ask why that
card is so important?
Copy !req
400. Because of Zeff Wilcox.
Copy !req
401. He was a victim
in the first case I worked.
Copy !req
402. I always want
to remember him.
Copy !req
403. That's nice. And the
words he wrote on the back.
Copy !req
404. The back...
Say what, now?
Copy !req
405. Why is this blank?
Copy !req
406. I threw it away.
I thought it was trash.
Copy !req
407. I didn't know you kept it to
remember someone you helped.
Copy !req
408. I didn't help Zeff,
I failed Zeff.
Copy !req
409. His case
was never solved.
Copy !req
410. The words written on the back were,
"Thanks for nothing."
Copy !req
411. Oh, man, that's rough.
Copy !req
412. I have held onto
that card for 30 years
Copy !req
413. because I always wanted
to remember what it felt like
Copy !req
414. to let someone down,
so I'd never do it again.
Copy !req
415. That card made me
the cop I am today.
Copy !req
416. Without it...
I'm lost.
Copy !req
417. Since this seems important
now, I want to be clear.
Copy !req
418. This is Terry's thing,
I've just been along for the ride.
Copy !req
419. Rosa!
Noted.
Copy !req
420. So tell us how you
stole the diamonds,
Copy !req
421. so we can
just reverse it.
Copy !req
422. Won't work. We took them
from the luggage downstairs,
Copy !req
423. posing as bellhops. It
was a one-time opportunity.
Copy !req
424. And now the fakes
are locked in the safe
Copy !req
425. in a bodyguard
protected suite.
Copy !req
426. Well lucky for you,
I have a long past in heist planning.
Copy !req
427. It's how I proposed
to my wife.
Copy !req
428. That's a great story.
Makes me cry every time.
Copy !req
429. Oh, thank you. Well,
I guess I'll tell it.
Copy !req
430. You see, once a year,
at Halloween...
Copy !req
431. I can tell that
I'm losing the room.
Copy !req
432. I'll just move on.
Copy !req
433. So here's how
our thing is gonna go.
Copy !req
434. Every hotel safe
has an override code,
Copy !req
435. in case guests
leave them locked.
Copy !req
436. That code is kept on
the concierge's computer.
Copy !req
437. Do you know
who this is? This is Matt Daniel,
Copy !req
438. the most popular male
ASMR performer on Twitch.
Copy !req
439. ASMR performer? Someone
who speaks real soft.
Copy !req
440. I also crinkle paper.
Copy !req
441. We're trying to stream
Copy !req
442. and the noise
on the eighth floor
Copy !req
443. is unacceptable.
Copy !req
444. My fans can't
hear my mouth sounds.
Copy !req
445. I'm so sorry,
I can't hear you.
Copy !req
446. That's the point,
Georgina.
Copy !req
447. He says that's
the point, Georgina.
Copy !req
448. This is taking too long. Make a
video. Tell your 25 million subscribers
Copy !req
449. to never stay
at this crap hotel.
Copy !req
450. No, no, no.
I'll take care of it.
Copy !req
451. Let me talk
to my general manager.
Copy !req
452. You better run. Matt,
don't yell.
Copy !req
453. You'll strain
your beautiful voice.
Copy !req
454. Once we hack
into the computer
Copy !req
455. and get the override code,
Copy !req
456. Trudy will put on
a housekeeper's uniform
Copy !req
457. and I will gracefully
hide in her cart.
Copy !req
458. I got it myself.
Copy !req
459. Then, after the
Russian goes out for the night,
Copy !req
460. Trudy will show up
for turn-down service
Copy !req
461. and I sneak out when
the guards are distracted
Copy !req
462. by Trudy's signature
sexy housekeeping.
Copy !req
463. Trudy will then exit,
leaving me behind in the suite
Copy !req
464. so I can unlock the balcony
door for Chuck and Doug,
Copy !req
465. who are waiting outside
on the window washer's rig.
Copy !req
466. Chuck will bring the stolen
diamonds and I'll use
Copy !req
467. the override code to put
them back where they belong.
Copy !req
468. Then, we head down to the room
where we party like hell.
Copy !req
469. Trudy Judy...
Copy !req
470. It's exactly 14,
just like you promised.
Copy !req
471. You did promise
her butts.
Copy !req
472. I know.
Yeah.
Copy !req
473. Mmm. The smell
of fresh cooked pizza.
Copy !req
474. Where are we?
Rome, Italy?
Copy !req
475. Guys,
you got the vending machine you wanted.
Copy !req
476. You can stop
with the play acting.
Copy !req
477. I don't think
that's scripted.
Copy !req
478. That's just them
talking about pizza.
Copy !req
479. Yum, yum, yum.
Copy !req
480. Man, I shouldn't have pushed
for the fish ball machine.
Copy !req
481. I should've just
played it safe
Copy !req
482. and gone for the fish
cake machine.
Copy !req
483. So you don't think the
fish part was the problem?
Copy !req
484. I don't.
Copy !req
485. Well,
at least they're happy.
Copy !req
486. Look at 'em.
Copy !req
487. My pizza!
Copy !req
488. Ooh.
You did it, Peralta.
Copy !req
489. You pulled off
the reverse heist.
Copy !req
490. This whole time I
thought you were a bitch.
Copy !req
491. But truth is, you're
actually that bitch!
Copy !req
492. He is, isn't he? He's that bitch.
Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
493. I don't know if I want
that nickname to stick.
Copy !req
494. Ooh,
I hope my butts are back.
Copy !req
495. I do not like how
butts have become your thing, Trudy.
Copy !req
496. You used to love horses.
Copy !req
497. Horses have butts.
Copy !req
498. Guys, it's not butts.
I'm so sorry, Doug.
Copy !req
499. Miami PD!
Copy !req
500. It's just those
three back there.
Copy !req
501. Hands on the table.
Copy !req
502. Jake, what the hell?
Copy !req
503. Cops always be copping.
Copy !req
504. Hey! Hey there, friends.
Copy !req
505. I tried to flag down your
taxi as you were leaving
Copy !req
506. the police station.
It was actually funny,
Copy !req
507. 'cause we made
a lot of eye contact,
Copy !req
508. but you just drove off.
Anyways, I'm here now.
Copy !req
509. We can go. You want us to
take you back to New York
Copy !req
510. after you got my
friends arrested?
Copy !req
511. Nah-uh, you flying
commercial, son.
Copy !req
512. I hope
you get a middle seat.
Copy !req
513. I hope they charge you
for your carry-ons.
Copy !req
514. I hope you sit next
to someone chatty.
Copy !req
515. Someone going through
something real hard.
Copy !req
516. I hope the pilot makes
an announcement during
Copy !req
517. the emotional climax
of the movie you're watching.
Copy !req
518. Ooh, you nasty!
Copy !req
519. Damn, Doug and Trudy Judy.
Copy !req
520. Look, I'm sorry,
but it was grand larceny.
Copy !req
521. I couldn't just let them
get away with it.
Copy !req
522. Well, if you were gonna
arrest them anyway,
Copy !req
523. why bother with
the reverse heist?
Copy !req
524. It's like Trudy said. We
didn't have the diamonds.
Copy !req
525. It wasn't enough evidence.
Copy !req
526. But we put them back. Yeah,
only because I was there.
Copy !req
527. Not to mention the fact
that I was fully complicit.
Copy !req
528. I could've gone to jail. Wait,
we destroyed your phone.
Copy !req
529. How did you call
for backup?
Copy !req
530. That was actually easy. When Doug was
distracted, yelling at the concierge...
Copy !req
531. Let me talk
to my general manager.
Copy !req
532. I swapped out
my waterlogged phone for his.
Copy !req
533. Damn, I would've noticed
that if I wasn't trying
Copy !req
534. to live in the moment and
not look at my phone so much.
Copy !req
535. And then when I was hidden in the cart,
I called the cops.
Copy !req
536. Mmm, impossible.
I would've heard you.
Copy !req
537. Not with the Smush Shush!
Copy !req
538. This is Jake Peralta.
Copy !req
539. I'm a detective
with the NYPD.
Copy !req
540. Foot cramp,
foot cramp.
Copy !req
541. First of all,
how dare you?
Copy !req
542. Second of all, will you
call Barbara Corcoran
Copy !req
543. and tell her that this
product is not useless?
Copy !req
544. I don't know her.
Copy !req
545. I'm sorry that
I betrayed you, Doug,
Copy !req
546. but I'm a cop. I
didn't have a choice.
Copy !req
547. We can still be
friends, right?
Copy !req
548. I don't know. Did you even illegally
download that O-Town album?
Copy !req
549. No.
Copy !req
550. I bought it
at their concert.
Copy !req
551. It came bundled
with a sweatshirt.
Copy !req
552. You make me sick.
Copy !req
553. Disgusting.
Copy !req
554. Doug! Trudy! Judys!
Copy !req
555. Hey, sir. I'm sure
you're still mad at us.
Copy !req
556. Just you, not Diaz.
Copy !req
557. Okay, well, I can't
get that card back,
Copy !req
558. but I did bring
you these.
Copy !req
559. They're business cards
of people you've helped.
Copy !req
560. One mistake did not make
you the cop you are today.
Copy !req
561. Thirty years of service
to the community did.
Copy !req
562. That should be
your motivation.
Copy !req
563. I know you can't remember their names,
but...
Copy !req
564. Alex Chen.
Copy !req
565. I do remember him.
36-year-old male,
Copy !req
566. carjacked at the corner of
7th Avenue and 11 th Street.
Copy !req
567. Had three siblings,
Alice, Arlene, and Anna.
Copy !req
568. Okay, so you
remember Alex Chen.
Copy !req
569. Yes, and I really
helped him.
Copy !req
570. Perhaps he'll be
my new Zeff.
Copy !req
571. Welcome back, Captain Holt. I'm
really glad we could help you with this.
Copy !req
572. Oh, no, you're not gonna
just jump back in here
Copy !req
573. now that it all
worked out!
Copy !req
574. Thank you, Diaz.
No!
Copy !req
575. No, thank Terry.
I did this!
Copy !req
576. Oh, I'm done.
You know what,
Copy !req
577. I did all of this.
This was all me!
Copy !req
578. This is ridiculous!
Copy !req
579. We barely got
to know her.
Copy !req
580. And now
we never will.
Copy !req
581. I feel so bad
for them,
Copy !req
582. but what do you
say to someone
Copy !req
583. that's suffered
this kind of loss?
Copy !req
584. I mean, it's kind of
on them for not checking
Copy !req
585. the voltage on a machine
that had a built-in air-fryer.
Copy !req
586. Don't blame
the victim, Amy.
Copy !req
587. Okay, guys,
look. I know this is sad,
Copy !req
588. but maybe everything
happens for a reason.
Copy !req
589. What reason could
there possibly be
Copy !req
590. for the pain
I'm feeling?
Copy !req
591. Look, I probably shouldn't
be telling you this because
Copy !req
592. I know
you'll abuse it,
Copy !req
593. but when there's
no third machine,
Copy !req
594. you can come
back here
Copy !req
595. and do this.
Copy !req
596. Everything happens
for a reason.
Copy !req
597. Peralta! You have
to see this.
Copy !req
598. Guy got brought in
this morning.
Copy !req
599. Look what
we found on him.
Copy !req
600. Yeah, I get it, Rosa.
Copy !req
601. Every perp in the city
is invited and I'm not.
Copy !req
602. But I... Wait a minute,
why is my name on this?
Copy !req
603. 'Cause you're coming
to the wedding, baby!
Copy !req
604. What's going on? You're
not mad at me anymore?
Copy !req
605. I arrested your best man.
Copy !req
606. Just like I wanted you to.
Copy !req
607. I was putting on a show
in front of Trudy. What?
Copy !req
608. Katherine, my fiancée,
Copy !req
609. doesn't want any of my crook
friends coming to the wedding.
Copy !req
610. She's a federal judge,
how would that look?
Copy !req
611. Okay, but couldn't you just
tell them they're not invited?
Copy !req
612. Uh, that's an uncomfortable
conversation to have.
Copy !req
613. It was much easier this way.
Copy !req
614. Oh, my God. This whole
thing was a set up?
Copy !req
615. You wanted
me to find that invitation.
Copy !req
616. Mmm-hmm. You knew I
would never go on a trip
Copy !req
617. with a bunch of crooks
unless I felt unwanted.
Copy !req
618. Classic negging.
Copy !req
619. I bet you planned to have
your bachelor party at that hotel
Copy !req
620. because you knew the
oligarch was staying there.
Copy !req
621. Hell, yeah, otherwise
I would've got an Airbnb.
Copy !req
622. And as soon as your
friends committed a crime,
Copy !req
623. you banked on me
needing to arrest them.
Copy !req
624. Damn right. You're
the most consistent person
Copy !req
625. in my life, Peralta.
I can always count on you.
Copy !req
626. But, there is one
detail you missed.
Copy !req
627. You never saw
Copy !req
628. what I was painting
Copy !req
629. on the inside of my mug
Copy !req
630. at the pottery place.
Copy !req
631. "Will you be
my best man"?
Copy !req
632. Judy, is this for real?
Copy !req
633. It ain't fiction.
Copy !req
634. Just a natural fact
Copy !req
635. What?
Copy !req
636. We come together
Copy !req
637. 'Cause opposites attract
Copy !req
638. I'll do it!
Copy !req
639. I'm
MC Kat on the rap So, mic it
Copy !req
640. Here's a little story
And you're sure to like it
Copy !req
641. The worst rap!
Copy !req