1. Thanks, everybody
for coming outCopy !req
2. to Hitchcock's
divorce party.Copy !req
3. Why is the cake two men
getting married?Copy !req
4. That's me and Hitchcock.
The boys are back together.Copy !req
5. This cake is
for a gay wedding.Copy !req
6. The inside is a rainbow.Copy !req
7. Nuh-uh, it's my favorite flavor,
all the flavors.Copy !req
8. I can't
believe Bethany's gone.Copy !req
9. It was so out
of the blue.Copy !req
10. Well, not entirely. I mean,
she did have an affairCopy !req
11. with her hairdresserCopy !req
12. and you filmed it and
threatened to release the tape.Copy !req
13. And then she said she didn't care
and put it on the Internet herself.Copy !req
14. And then when it started to make
money you sued her for half the profits.Copy !req
15. And then boom! Out of the blue,
divorce papers.Copy !req
16. Ah, buddy,
you'll be okay.Copy !req
17. It doesn't feel like it.
My heart is ruined forever.Copy !req
18. I'm done with love. I'll
never find anyone as...Copy !req
19. Oh, my God!Copy !req
20. Get a load
of the can on her.Copy !req
21. See you, dorks!Copy !req
22. I'm gonna get some.Copy !req
23. Well, Hitchcock
still sucks.Copy !req
24. Hey, did you get my
sexy calendar invite?Copy !req
25. You mean the one titled,
"8:00 p.m. coitus."Copy !req
26. Yes. And the one titled,
"7:55 foreplay".Copy !req
27. You didn't accept
either invite.Copy !req
28. Oh, I can start
foreplay later.Copy !req
29. No, no, no. I love foreplay,
as you know.Copy !req
30. It's just this is all feeling a
little over-scheduled, you know.Copy !req
31. It might be taking some of
the fun out of making a baby.Copy !req
32. Oh, Okay. Um, so what
are you suggesting?Copy !req
33. Maybe we try this...
The Jake Way.Copy !req
34. Eating dinner starting
with dessert?Copy !req
35. That's one Jake Way. You know,
the Jake Way is a brand.Copy !req
36. It encompasses
a whole lifestyle.Copy !req
37. So get ready,
because this monthCopy !req
38. we're making a baby
The Jake Way.Copy !req
39. Okay, I'm in.
Sounds fun.Copy !req
40. So are we doing it
tonight or...Copy !req
41. No, no, no. The Jake Way
does not believe in scheduling.Copy !req
42. You gotta just let go.Copy !req
43. You don't know what
The Jake Way is.Copy !req
44. Nope, but we've got
a name for it,Copy !req
45. and that's a great start.
The Jake Way!Copy !req
46. Lieutenant, as you know,
I've been walkingCopy !req
47. the same beat for
the past three weeks.Copy !req
48. It's become a bit tedious.Copy !req
49. I thought
you love tedium.Copy !req
50. I love monotony.
They're very different.Copy !req
51. I'm sorry, but, you know,
our policy is thatCopy !req
52. uniformed officers must walk
the same beat for six months.Copy !req
53. It's how they become familiar
with the community they serve.Copy !req
54. Well, surely you can make
an exception for me.Copy !req
55. I can't play
favorites.Copy !req
56. You never did
when you were in charge.Copy !req
57. Of course I did.Copy !req
58. Really? I never got
any special treatment.Copy !req
59. I think you can
do the math here.Copy !req
60. Damn. Well,
think of it this way.Copy !req
61. It's like doing reps
at a gym.Copy !req
62. Doing something
over and over again,Copy !req
63. is how you make
your pecks pop.Copy !req
64. The only muscle I care
to work out is my brain.Copy !req
65. Then get your reps in
and make your brain pop.Copy !req
66. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.Copy !req
67. What you're describing
is an aneurysm.Copy !req
68. Pop, pop, pop,
pop, pop, pop.Copy !req
69. It's official.
I'm in love.Copy !req
70. I just spent the night
with the woman of my dreams.Copy !req
71. The lady from your
divorce party?Copy !req
72. Yeah, she's my soul mate.Copy !req
73. She's funny.
She's beautiful.Copy !req
74. She has almost no scars.Copy !req
75. Hot biscuits.Copy !req
76. It sounds like
you hooked a live one.Copy !req
77. I know. We walked along
the river for hoursCopy !req
78. just talking and laughing.Copy !req
79. She even gave me
her real number.Copy !req
80. Really?
Check it out.Copy !req
81. Just a dirty old napkin
covered in sauce.Copy !req
82. Oh, no! Her number!
It's totally ruined.Copy !req
83. I knew I shouldn't have had
those breakfast wings.Copy !req
84. Oh, bud, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
85. Now all I have to
remember her by this tooth.Copy !req
86. What the hell?
Why do you have that?Copy !req
87. We were eating pizza.
It fell out of her mouth.Copy !req
88. Well, that's just perfect.
We can use it to find her.Copy !req
89. What do you mean?Copy !req
90. We just have to try fitting
that tooth into the mouthCopy !req
91. of every woman
in New York CityCopy !req
92. until we find the matching
gum hole of your one true love.Copy !req
93. My life is like
a fairy tale.Copy !req
94. So, Lieutenant,
sorry to take up your time.Copy !req
95. I just want to go over the CompStat
numbers with you real quick.Copy !req
96. Um, what the...Copy !req
97. Is something wrong?Copy !req
98. Are the CompStat
numbers bad?Copy !req
99. The numbers are fine
and I have to go.Copy !req
100. Oh, okay, then why'd you ask
for this meeting?Copy !req
101. Don't follow me, Terry.Copy !req
102. What? I wasn't going to.Copy !req
103. This was a very
confusing interaction.Copy !req
104. Ooh.Copy !req
105. Hello.Copy !req
106. Hello, Sergeant Santiago.Copy !req
107. I've taken
your husband hostage.Copy !req
108. If you ever want to make a baby
with him, you'll do exactly as I say.Copy !req
109. Jake, where are you?Copy !req
110. Oh, this isn't Jake. This is the
Syndicate and you will never see usCopy !req
111. because we are
everywhere and...Copy !req
112. You're by the elevators.Copy !req
113. Damn it! Look away.
Look away! Okay!Copy !req
114. Yes, that's better.Copy !req
115. On top of the copier,
there's a headset.Copy !req
116. Put it on and get in the limo
that's waiting out front.Copy !req
117. Mmm. Okay. I love you.Copy !req
118. I love you too.
Now go.Copy !req
119. Are you Amy?Copy !req
120. Tell him, "Yes." Yes.Copy !req
121. How does it feel
to be played like a puppet?Copy !req
122. Okay, I'm walking
into the apartment.Copy !req
123. Why did you have me get
$400 out of the ATM?Copy !req
124. Good question.
It's to pay for the Airbnb.Copy !req
125. You're giving them
$400 in cash?Copy !req
126. I broke several lamps while
trying to hide in the dark.Copy !req
127. Now turn on the lights.
Okay.Copy !req
128. Hello. It's me.Copy !req
129. Put down the drinks.Copy !req
130. Why, are you upset?Copy !req
131. Yeah. And now I have
to take the Syndicate down.Copy !req
132. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
133. To be clear, by "take down the
Syndicate", you mean we're gonna...Copy !req
134. We're going to have sex.
Okay, great.Copy !req
135. Yes, absolutely.
Take your clothes off.Copy !req
136. Boyle, what are those?
My guinea pigs.Copy !req
137. This lady is Claire,
and this guy is also named Claire.Copy !req
138. You can't have pets in here.
This is a police precinct.Copy !req
139. I know. I'm sorry.Copy !req
140. I got them
for Nikolaj's birthday,Copy !req
141. but it turns out
he's allergicCopy !req
142. and the pet store
won't take them back.Copy !req
143. I got a friend
who works in a lab.Copy !req
144. I can call and see if they need
any guinea pigs for their research.Copy !req
145. They are not
science experiments.Copy !req
146. They are living creatures
with rich inner lives.Copy !req
147. Claire number two is
stuck on his back like a bug.Copy !req
148. Oh, I'll handle this.Copy !req
149. Oh.
Flip, flip.Copy !req
150. Oh, I flipped
the wrong Claire.Copy !req
151. Stop flipping guinea pigs
and get them out of here.Copy !req
152. I'll make them disappear,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
153. Whoa, don't kill them.Copy !req
154. They have so much
to live for.Copy !req
155. They haven't even been
to Manhattan yet.Copy !req
156. Okay. Coast is clear.
I know a safe place.Copy !req
157. We can hide these guys until
we can find homes for them.Copy !req
158. You're not going to murder them? Hell,
no!Copy !req
159. I love animals,
I'm the mushy one on the squad.Copy !req
160. Right, of course.Copy !req
161. This is it.
Supply closet K.Copy !req
162. It's full of CPR
training babies.Copy !req
163. No one goes in there
because it's too creepy.Copy !req
164. Oh, my God,
it's perfect.Copy !req
165. Well, I don't want
to take all the credit,Copy !req
166. but I'm pretty
sure doing itCopy !req
167. The Jake Way worked
and we're getting pregnant.Copy !req
168. That would
be incredible.Copy !req
169. But, feels like you're setting
us up for disappointment.Copy !req
170. No, I'm just being
optimistic. You're amazing.Copy !req
171. We're amazing.
And it definitely worked.Copy !req
172. Didn't work.Copy !req
173. Oh, I knew it.
I got bum nards.Copy !req
174. Jake! Right. Gotta
stay optimistic.Copy !req
175. We can do this.Copy !req
176. So,
how are you feeling?Copy !req
177. Well, I'm pretty
bummed, but...Copy !req
178. Amy, could you open
your mouth for me?Copy !req
179. What? No.Copy !req
180. Forget it. I just saw. She's
got all her teeth.Copy !req
181. Bah!
Even the back ones.Copy !req
182. Did that turn
your mood around?Copy !req
183. Nope, but it's okay. I figured out
how we're going to get pregnant.Copy !req
184. By doubling down
on The Jake Way.Copy !req
185. Ooh, do you think we could rent the
phone booth from the movie Phone Booth?Copy !req
186. No. From now on we're
going to do it The Amy Way.Copy !req
187. Does that mean we're going back
to the overly scheduled sex thing?Copy !req
188. No, we're going to go
way more scheduled.Copy !req
189. So, even less fun.
Big time!Copy !req
190. This is a test,
and we're failingCopy !req
191. because we're not
studying hard enough.Copy !req
192. Or maybe, this is just one of
those tests that you can't study for.Copy !req
193. Oh, wow,
that's a new laugh.Copy !req
194. Come on, we're going
binder shopping.Copy !req
195. Off to walk my beat again,
much like Sisyphus,Copy !req
196. condemned to push the same boulder
up the same hill, day in and day out.Copy !req
197. You know, according to French
philosopher, Albert Camus,Copy !req
198. Sisyphus achieved happiness
in that absurd repetition.Copy !req
199. Any French philosophy
post-RousseauCopy !req
200. is essentially
a magazine.Copy !req
201. You rube.Copy !req
202. Oh, hey, Boyle,
do you have the Sixth Street case files?Copy !req
203. Wait. What's that?Copy !req
204. Uh, this?
It's my water bottle.Copy !req
205. It looks like a water bottle
from a guinea pig cage.Copy !req
206. True, I got it
for the guinea pigs,Copy !req
207. but, they're not
here anymore.Copy !req
208. So I decided to be green
and use it for myself.Copy !req
209. Ah! Thirst quenched.Copy !req
210. What took you so long?Copy !req
211. Terry almost caught me. Had to drink
from the guinea pig's water bottle.Copy !req
212. Amazingly, he...Copy !req
213. Totally bought you'd
do that. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
214. Yeah, I'm not
surprised at all.Copy !req
215. Good news, my niece will take the
two Claires. She wants them as pets.Copy !req
216. That is great. Okay, now we just
need to find a home for ten more.Copy !req
217. Ten?Copy !req
218. Boy Claire got girl Claire pregnant,
made a bunch of little baby Claires.Copy !req
219. Oh, they're having sex again. Oh,
Claire.Copy !req
220. Oh, Claire. Claire.
Claire.Copy !req
221. I got to say,
I'm loving these.Copy !req
222. I always wanted
to wear hammer pants.Copy !req
223. Stop.
Hammer time?Copy !req
224. No. Stop joking around.
You're wearing those pantsCopy !req
225. to keep your testicles away
from your body's warm coreCopy !req
226. so your sperm
don't overheat.Copy !req
227. Well, I am loving the breeze.
I feel like I'm 83.Copy !req
228. All right, focus up. This is
our pregnancy war room.Copy !req
229. On the master calendar,
we will track ovulation windows,Copy !req
230. menstruation cycles
and every uterine deposit.Copy !req
231. "Uterine deposit"? Is
that we're calling sex now?Copy !req
232. It seems a little clinical.Copy !req
233. Well, you could always
shorten it to U.D. or "ud".Copy !req
234. Yeah, I don't want
to do that.Copy !req
235. Here's a list of everything you cannot
eat while we're trying to conceive.Copy !req
236. No more nachos, even if they're
in a novelty baseball helmet?Copy !req
237. No.
Whoa, this is serious.Copy !req
238. You will adhere to a strict exercise
regimen and sleep schedule.Copy !req
239. Also, no more video games
because they cause stressCopy !req
240. and they raise
your heart rate.Copy !req
241. More stress than
being a police officer?Copy !req
242. Jake, I've seen you
play Mario Party.Copy !req
243. Wario cheats!Copy !req
244. I'm just saying,
Wario cheats. It's a stupid game.Copy !req
245. Look, I know it isn't easy,
but this could increaseCopy !req
246. our chances of getting
pregnant by 19%.Copy !req
247. Yeah. Of course. Absolutely.
So how do we get it started?Copy !req
248. Dim the lights,
put on some music?Copy !req
249. Swallow 35 vitamins each.Copy !req
250. Oh, cheers.Copy !req
251. Oh.Copy !req
252. Let's make a baby!Copy !req
253. I probably should have
had some water ready.Copy !req
254. Okay, basal body
temperature is optimal.Copy !req
255. Let's do this quickly.Copy !req
256. Oh, Amy, I'm not some faucet
that you can just turn on and off.Copy !req
257. You gotta romance me.
Faucet's on, let's ud.Copy !req
258. Thank you.Copy !req
259. Okay.Copy !req
260. Okay.Copy !req
261. Sorry.Copy !req
262. Thought you separated
the males and females.Copy !req
263. Well, it's hard.
They're all named Claire.Copy !req
264. You named them Claire.Copy !req
265. Oh, come on.Copy !req
266. It's like every woman in
this city has all of her teeth.Copy !req
267. Stupid Bloomberg
and his stupid soda ban.Copy !req
268. Okay,
6:14, it's ud o'clock.Copy !req
269. Okay.
Here we go.Copy !req
270. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
271. So this bag of pellets
is your lunch?Copy !req
272. Yep. It's a perfect food for the
human man. You want some?Copy !req
273. No!Copy !req
274. Sorry.Copy !req
275. Where were you?
You're 19 minutes late.Copy !req
276. My temperature's
shot to hell.Copy !req
277. I know. I'm sorry. I got
detained by the transit copsCopy !req
278. because my baggy pants
fell off on the subway.Copy !req
279. Let's just ud
and get it over with.Copy !req
280. Oh, my God.Copy !req
281. There's so many of them.Copy !req
282. Sit. Yeah.
Good boy.Copy !req
283. You awake?
Nope. You?Copy !req
284. No, let's do this.
Okay.Copy !req
285. Shirts on?Copy !req
286. Definitely.
Okay.Copy !req
287. Ah!Copy !req
288. Make it a double.Copy !req
289. My heart has a hole in it. I
might as well fill it with booze.Copy !req
290. Same for me,
except my hole is in my mouth.Copy !req
291. It's you!
My toothless Cinderella.Copy !req
292. Well, that was definitely,
technically sex.Copy !req
293. Yup.Copy !req
294. Maybe that
was the one.Copy !req
295. Nope. Not the one.Copy !req
296. I'm so exhausted.Copy !req
297. Me too. But the doctor said
that it could take a while.Copy !req
298. I know. It's just, we're doing everything
right and it's still not working.Copy !req
299. What kind of perfect person
you have to be to get pregnant?Copy !req
300. We're having
a baby.Copy !req
301. Oh, rot in hell!Copy !req
302. Congratulations,
Hitchcock.Copy !req
303. It's the first wedding I've ever
been to with a cover charge.Copy !req
304. It's for our honeymoon. We're going
to Barbados and we'll have the islandCopy !req
305. all to ourselves because
it's dengue fever season.Copy !req
306. But your wife
is pregnant.Copy !req
307. You can't live in fear.Copy !req
308. Don't wanna spend every moment
worried about dengue or black mold,Copy !req
309. or those weird spots on the
MRI they found on your brain.Copy !req
310. Hitchcock,
is your brain okay?Copy !req
311. The point is,
I don't care.Copy !req
312. Also, Anna's family's from the old
country and kind of conservative,Copy !req
313. so try not to mention
the baby to them.Copy !req
314. Perfect. I'll just do what
I always do at weddings.Copy !req
315. Not talk to anyone
I don't know already.Copy !req
316. You're the best, Jake. That's
why you're the baby's godfather.Copy !req
317. Wait, I am?Copy !req
318. I can't believe
they're pregnant and we're not.Copy !req
319. How did they do it?Copy !req
320. They got drunk and had sex
in a public park next to a skunk.Copy !req
321. Hitchcock sent me a very
long text with a lot of details in it.Copy !req
322. I think it was
meant for Scully.Copy !req
323. Ugh. The world is
officially upside down.Copy !req
324. Wait a minute.
Maybe that's it.Copy !req
325. We tried getting
pregnant The Jake Way.Copy !req
326. We tried The Amy Way.
Maybe it's time we tried it...Copy !req
327. The Hitchcock Way.Copy !req
328. What's The Hitchcock Way?Copy !req
329. In every situation,
make the worst possible decision.Copy !req
330. Okay. What the hell.
Nothing else is working.Copy !req
331. Let's try
The Hitchcock Way.Copy !req
332. All right? So first move,
get hammered.Copy !req
333. Drink up!Copy !req
334. Uh, these are
someone else's.Copy !req
335. There's lipstick
on mine.Copy !req
336. Yeah,
there's a cigarette in mine.Copy !req
337. But we're doing it The Hitchcock Way,
so bottoms up.Copy !req
338. All right.Copy !req
339. Uh, for those of you that don't know me,
my name is Norm Scully.Copy !req
340. Uh, Hitchcock
is my partner,Copy !req
341. and he's also
my best friend.Copy !req
342. He buys the bear claws I
like when we're on a stakeoutCopy !req
343. or when we're just in
the office or at home.Copy !req
344. I love him.Copy !req
345. Anna Rubov,
do you promise to love and cherishCopy !req
346. Michael HitchcockCopy !req
347. as much as
I have loved him.Copy !req
348. I do.Copy !req
349. And Michael Hitchcock,
do you agree to shower AnnaCopy !req
350. with the same love
and kindnessCopy !req
351. you've shown me these
30 wonderful years together.Copy !req
352. I do.Copy !req
353. Dang. Terry didn't know
this was gonna be so sweet.Copy !req
354. You may now
kiss the bride.Copy !req
355. Hey, Rosa, good news.Copy !req
356. I just talked to someone who
said he'd take all of the guinea pigs.Copy !req
357. All 600?
Why would he do that?Copy !req
358. I didn't ask,
I just said yes.Copy !req
359. Our prayers
have been answered.Copy !req
360. Who is this guy? We gotta check him out,
make sure he's not weird.Copy !req
361. He's just
a normal guy.Copy !req
362. He's a friend
of Hitchcock's.Copy !req
363. Yep, we gotta
check him out.Copy !req
364. Yeah, he's gonna turn them
into toupees. Oh, my God. He is.Copy !req
365. The Hitchcock Way is exactly
what we needed, you know.Copy !req
366. And these last six monthsCopy !req
367. have actually
been pretty hard.Copy !req
368. Mmm, no. Hitchcock
doesn't dwell on the past.Copy !req
369. Hitchcock forgets about the past
because of the spots on his brain.Copy !req
370. Yes, to brain spots.Copy !req
371. Oh!Copy !req
372. Cinnamon Schnapps!Copy !req
373. Barkeep, another round
of drink roulette.Copy !req
374. Lieutenant, I've never seen
you in Shaw's on a Sunday.Copy !req
375. Those nights are usually reserved
for spending time with your family.Copy !req
376. I guess you do
make exceptions.Copy !req
377. What? The conversation
we had six months ago,Copy !req
378. the one where you said you
wouldn't make an exception for me.Copy !req
379. That was so long ago. A
lot has happened since then.Copy !req
380. Well, to me,
it seems like mere minutes agoCopy !req
381. because I've been living the
same day over and over again.Copy !req
382. Gentlemen. Would either of
you mind giving some toasts?Copy !req
383. People starting to notice
we didn't serve any food.Copy !req
384. I have something
I'd like to say.Copy !req
385. Marriage is amazing.
To get to spend every dayCopy !req
386. with the same person,
day after day,Copy !req
387. month after month
on repeat.Copy !req
388. The comfort of knowing that
tomorrow will be just like todayCopy !req
389. is truly
a rewarding assignment.Copy !req
390. To Hitchcock.
Here, here.Copy !req
391. I'd also like
to make a speech.Copy !req
392. Most marriages end in divorce,
and there's a reason.Copy !req
393. It's boring to be stuck in
the same routine forever.Copy !req
394. There's no value to be found in
walking the same beat over and over,Copy !req
395. especially when you've been
a captain for six years.Copy !req
396. Oh.
The point is,Copy !req
397. marriage is a waste of my talents,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
398. To Hitchcock.Copy !req
399. These are great.Copy !req
400. Really?Copy !req
401. I also have
a toast to make.Copy !req
402. Hitchcock. I always
thought I was better than youCopy !req
403. because I haven't been
divorced seven times,Copy !req
404. and I've never been banned from
a museum for kissing the statues.Copy !req
405. But today I realized that
maybe my life would be betterCopy !req
406. if I was more like you.Copy !req
407. Anyway, I got to go
make a baby of my own,Copy !req
408. just like the baby
inside of Anna.Copy !req
409. Nailed it.
Thank you.Copy !req
410. Why is she saying
this thing, Anna?Copy !req
411. Okay, bud, are you ready to have
some stupid Hitchcock-style sex?Copy !req
412. Oh, yeah.
Where are we going?Copy !req
413. Nowhere. We're going right hereCopy !req
414. in Shaw's bathroom.Copy !req
415. Oh, that's such a bad
idea. I love it. All right.Copy !req
416. Occupied.Copy !req
417. Someone's in there.
Should we wait?Copy !req
418. Would Hitchcock wait?Copy !req
419. Hell,
no. Hitchcock would find an alley!Copy !req
420. Oh, this is perfect.Copy !req
421. There's probably so many
skunks skunking around here.Copy !req
422. Oh,
yeah. We are gonna make a skunk baby.Copy !req
423. Yeah!Copy !req
424. Hello.
Huh?Copy !req
425. Don't worry about me.
I don't want to join.Copy !req
426. I'm happy just to watch.Copy !req
427. Crap. They're really
pissed that Anna's pregnant.Copy !req
428. No,
it's more complicated than that.Copy !req
429. Anna just called her
entire family hypocrites.Copy !req
430. Wait, you speak
Russian?Copy !req
431. Huh. I guess I do.Copy !req
432. I must have picked it upCopy !req
433. from talking to that woman at the
coffee cart for the past six months.Copy !req
434. Now what's
happening?Copy !req
435. Anna's mother says that
Anna should be with someoneCopy !req
436. more respectable,Copy !req
437. like her sister's husband,
Boris, instead of the pig man.Copy !req
438. Well, that's too bad,
'cause she already married the pig man.Copy !req
439. What's she saying?Copy !req
440. She says that Boris
is not a good man.Copy !req
441. He's cheating
on her sister.Copy !req
442. She knows because he's
the real father of her baby.Copy !req
443. Oh.
What?Copy !req
444. Oh, no!Copy !req
445. Someone's here,
this is too public.Copy !req
446. I mean, it wouldn't stop Hitchcock,
but fine, I know a secret spot.Copy !req
447. What was that?Copy !req
448. What am I feeling
right now? Huh?Copy !req
449. Are those all your
tiny little hands?Copy !req
450. And this is
the last one.Copy !req
451. We rounded up
all the guinea pigs.Copy !req
452. Not even close.Copy !req
453. Guinea pig, guinea pig,
guinea pig, guinea pig, guinea pig.Copy !req
454. What were you thinking?
Breeding guinea pigs at work.Copy !req
455. We weren't breeding
them on purpose.Copy !req
456. They're just very
sexual creatures.Copy !req
457. And we didn't want
to slut-shame them.Copy !req
458. Yeah. Sorry you're not
more sex-positive, Terry.Copy !req
459. I called my friend
at the lab.Copy !req
460. He's gonna take
the guinea pigs.Copy !req
461. They're not gonna do
any chemical tests on them.Copy !req
462. They're just gonna teach
them how to run mazes.Copy !req
463. Really? I want you to
look Claire 38 in the eyeCopy !req
464. and tell her that.Copy !req
465. I'm sending you
to a lab, Claire. Bye.Copy !req
466. You can't do this!Copy !req
467. This is so
unfair, Terry!Copy !req
468. You're a cruel man!Copy !req
469. Thank God, he found
a way to end it.Copy !req
470. Oh, it's over.
The nightmare's over.Copy !req
471. There you are.Copy !req
472. You didn't wake me up
when you left this morning.Copy !req
473. I tried. You said, "I'm dead. Leave me,
find someone new."Copy !req
474. Yeah, pretty hungover.Copy !req
475. Look, last night wasn't great,
but I think I know why.Copy !req
476. We were trying to do it
like HitchcockCopy !req
477. when we should have
been trying to do it like Boris.Copy !req
478. The man who actually
impregnated Hitchcock's wife.Copy !req
479. So I found him
on Facebook and...Copy !req
480. Jake, stop.Copy !req
481. Why is it so easy for
everyone else to get pregnant?Copy !req
482. I mean, look at these
stupid guinea pigs.Copy !req
483. They made 600 babies
and we can't make one.Copy !req
484. Why can't we make
600 babies?Copy !req
485. You can't compare yourself to
guinea pigs, babe. You taught me that.Copy !req
486. I'm exhausted. And the
universe keeps telling usCopy !req
487. that it doesn't want us
to have a baby.Copy !req
488. The message couldn't
be clearer, so I'm done.Copy !req
489. Like done
for this month?Copy !req
490. Done. Just done.Copy !req
491. Thank you for seeing me. I just
wanted to let you know I was wrong.Copy !req
492. Until last night,
I didn't realizeCopy !req
493. how much Russian
I'd learned.Copy !req
494. Yeah. It was impressive.
And your accent was great too.Copy !req
495. Thank you, but I actually speak
with the accent of a peasant.Copy !req
496. Anyway, I walked
my beat this morning.Copy !req
497. I spoke to several people
in Russian.Copy !req
498. They were so impressed,
they opened up to me.Copy !req
499. I got a number
of useful tips.Copy !req
500. All right. All because I made
you do something tedious.Copy !req
501. Monotonous.
Don't ruin this.Copy !req
502. Thanks for coming out for
Hitchcock's divorce party.Copy !req
503. You know you got
another gay cake, right?Copy !req
504. What? No way.Copy !req
505. Says,
"boys, boys, boys" on it.Copy !req
506. Because we're the boys.Copy !req
507. Guys, I figured out what went
wrong between Anna and me.Copy !req
508. My job.
I'm a workaholic.Copy !req
509. Not anymore.Copy !req
510. From now on, I'm focusing
on what really matters.Copy !req
511. Come on, Scully,
let's get some wings.Copy !req
512. Uh, bud, I thought
you'd never ask.Copy !req
513. Hey, want some cake?Copy !req
514. I got a piece
with a heart on it,Copy !req
515. which I now realize
is a butt.Copy !req
516. I'm good, thanks.Copy !req
517. So listen, I've been thinking
about what you said this morningCopy !req
518. and it has been a really
hard couple of months.Copy !req
519. I'm sorry I'm bad
at making babies.Copy !req
520. Hey, hey, don't say that.Copy !req
521. It's not your fault.Copy !req
522. And, look, for all we know,
I could have...Copy !req
523. Don't say you have
bum nards.Copy !req
524. I wasn't...
I wasn't going to...Copy !req
525. But, I think maybe,
it's just a thing we can't control.Copy !req
526. That is my least
favorite kind of thing.Copy !req
527. I know.Copy !req
528. I really wanted
to start a family.Copy !req
529. Amy.Copy !req
530. We are family,
you and me.Copy !req
531. So you know, we can keep
trying or look into IVF or adoption,Copy !req
532. or if we want,
we can forget about the whole thing.Copy !req
533. But if we're together,
I'm happy no matter what.Copy !req
534. I don't know
what I wanna do.Copy !req
535. Fine. It's okay too.Copy !req
536. We don't have
to have a plan.Copy !req
537. We make the rules.Copy !req
538. Maybe it would help
to just not thinkCopy !req
539. about the whole thing for a
while and see where we're at.Copy !req
540. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
541. I love you.Copy !req
542. I love you.Copy !req
543. Should we go?
Yes.Copy !req
544. Okay.Copy !req
545. Nope.Copy !req