1. Look,
we all know Scully has the hardest head,Copy !req
2. but what concerns me
is the speed factor.Copy !req
3. Squad, listen up!
Not now, Terry.Copy !req
4. We're having an argument
about who would win in a fightCopy !req
5. if we couldn't
use our arms.Copy !req
6. Everyone agrees,
I'd bite the best.Copy !req
7. Meaningless! True
strength comes fromCopy !req
8. the pelvis,
not the mouth.Copy !req
9. There's been
an assassination attempt!Copy !req
10. What? And you let us just sit
around talking about Boyle's pelvis?Copy !req
11. I didn't let you!
Councilman BosworthCopy !req
12. was giving a speech
at Garfield Plaza.Copy !req
13. He was shot
in the shoulder.Copy !req
14. Now, he's in
stable condition,Copy !req
15. but the shooter's still at
large! We have to move!Copy !req
16. We're locking down a 10-block
radius around the scene.Copy !req
17. No traffic in or out. We think
our man is still inside the area.Copy !req
18. ESU is on-site.Copy !req
19. I'll be leading the op from
a mobile command center.Copy !req
20. Santiago is running
perimeter control.Copy !req
21. Peralta, you're in chargeCopy !req
22. of the manhunt
for the shooter.Copy !req
23. Oh, my God, it's a manhunt.
And I'm the Manhunter.Copy !req
24. And I'm your sidekick,
the Boyhunter.Copy !req
25. Come on, dude.
I'm gonna be on the news.Copy !req
26. I'm gonna look straight
into the camera and say,Copy !req
27. "If the shooter is watching,
I hope you like livingCopy !req
28. "between St. Charles Place
and Connecticut Avenue."Copy !req
29. I don't get it.
It's from Monopoly.Copy !req
30. That's where jail is.Copy !req
31. Whatever, it was a good line.
Keep briefing!Copy !req
32. Diaz, Santiago,Copy !req
33. the Command Tent's
on the northeast corner.Copy !req
34. We need to work fast.
The mayor's only given usCopy !req
35. five hours until the
barricades are lifted.Copy !req
36. Five hours? Tell him the
Manhunter only needs one.Copy !req
37. Love that,
but I'm gonna keep it at five.Copy !req
38. It's already
way too little time.Copy !req
39. All right, I'm seeing security
cameras. I need all that footage.Copy !req
40. I need forensics
to run a full sweep of...Copy !req
41. Hey, what are all these
civilians doing here?Copy !req
42. Who's responsible for securing
the area? Who screwed this up?Copy !req
43. Hi, I'm Officer
Debbie Fogle.Copy !req
44. I'm so sorry,
my partner's on crowd control.Copy !req
45. I don't know
where he went.Copy !req
46. It's his first week
on the job,Copy !req
47. so he's still
learning the ropes.Copy !req
48. All right, listen, Fogle. We
have a councilman in the hospitalCopy !req
49. and his shooter
is still at large.Copy !req
50. We don't have time
for this incompetence.Copy !req
51. I want your partner off
the case, what's his name?Copy !req
52. It's Raymond Holt.Copy !req
53. Oh! It's Dad...Copy !req
54. I mean, Captain Holt!Copy !req
55. I mean, Captain Dad.
I mean, Officer Holt.Copy !req
56. I mean, Officer Dad.
Yep, that was it.Copy !req
57. Officer Dad, I found it.Copy !req
58. Detective, I thought
I saw a clueCopy !req
59. on the sidewalk.Copy !req
60. I apologize for not
properly securing the scene.Copy !req
61. No need to apologize,
I wasn't even that mad.Copy !req
62. You said you wanted whoever
messed up off the case.Copy !req
63. It doesn't matter. The point is,
no one needs to get in trouble.Copy !req
64. Look, you don't
have to pity meCopy !req
65. just because Madeline Wuntch
demoted me for a year.Copy !req
66. I've been stripped
of my accomplishmentsCopy !req
67. and lost the respect
of everyone in my life,Copy !req
68. including my dog.
Cheddar?Copy !req
69. No.
Yes! Now,Copy !req
70. he only poops for Kevin.
Oh, sir.Copy !req
71. We don't have time
to take all this in,Copy !req
72. there's a shooter
on the loose!Copy !req
73. Are you guys gonna beCopy !req
74. okay working
together or not?Copy !req
75. Of course we will.
I took an oathCopy !req
76. to protect this city
no matter what my rank.Copy !req
77. I have no problem with Detective
Peralta being my commander.Copy !req
78. And I have no problem
commanding him.Copy !req
79. Here, watch this.
Captain, will you pleaseCopy !req
80. lock down
North 3rd Street,Copy !req
81. if that's okay
with you, Captain?Copy !req
82. It certainly is!Copy !req
83. Impressed?
You said "please"Copy !req
84. and you called him
"Captain" twice.Copy !req
85. Yeah, we don't have
time for this, Lieutenant.Copy !req
86. There's a shooter
on the loose!Copy !req
87. Traffic is shut down.Copy !req
88. Civilians are being funneled
into the checkpoints.Copy !req
89. Good. I just wish my guys over
here could be a little more efficient.Copy !req
90. Yeah, I'm looking at you,
Detective Fuzzy Paws!Copy !req
91. Is this Amy-hates-dogs-Amy
or Amy-extra-stressed-Amy?Copy !req
92. It's both Amys! I'm
under a lot of pressure.Copy !req
93. And also, that dog
is a piece of trash!Copy !req
94. Okay. I can tell something
else is going on,Copy !req
95. you don't have to pretend
to be mad at the dog.Copy !req
96. First of all,
I'm not pretending.Copy !req
97. That dog sucks!
Also...Copy !req
98. My period's late, I think
I might be pregnant.Copy !req
99. Oh, damn.
I can't be pregnant!Copy !req
100. Jake and I agreed to wait
at least a year until we tried.Copy !req
101. I haven't found an OB,
I'm not on any preschool waiting lists,Copy !req
102. and I spent
all of yesterdayCopy !req
103. in a room with Hitchcock
and his new cologne,Copy !req
104. which can't be
good for the baby,Copy !req
105. it is literally
called Zika!Copy !req
106. Okay, relax,Copy !req
107. You're probably
not pregnant,Copy !req
108. it's entirely possible Hitchcock's
cologne disrupted your cycle.Copy !req
109. Right, yes.Copy !req
110. That is a very
real possibility.Copy !req
111. Santiago!
Ahhh!Copy !req
112. What's going on here?
Is everything okay?Copy !req
113. Yeah, totes!
Right, Rosa?Copy !req
114. Uh, totes.Copy !req
115. Why is everyone
being all weird today?Copy !req
116. Just get back to work
and be normal.Copy !req
117. Yes, sir! Will do,
we'll be normal.Copy !req
118. Nothing to stress
about here.Copy !req
119. Hey, Fuzzy Paws! I'm paying you to work,
not lick your butthole!Copy !req
120. Yeah, I'm gonna get you
a pregnancy test.Copy !req
121. Okay, I know you haven't
done this in a while,Copy !req
122. so here's a tip,
keep your hat on.Copy !req
123. Because of all
the standing still,Copy !req
124. the pigeons think
we're statues,Copy !req
125. and they will poop
on you or peck you.Copy !req
126. Both are bad.Copy !req
127. Thank you
for the helpful tip.Copy !req
128. Oh, I've got
a ton of them.Copy !req
129. They're mostly about
the dangers of standing.Copy !req
130. A year on the beat
without prescription insolesCopy !req
131. can take two years
off your life.Copy !req
132. Any way to speed
the process up?Copy !req
133. Okay, I've got
a funny guy for a partner.Copy !req
134. But seriously, you have
to monitor your foot health.Copy !req
135. I'm gonna send you a
pedometer app that I use.Copy !req
136. You're gonna love it.Copy !req
137. It has robust
social features.Copy !req
138. We can give
each other "foot-fives"!Copy !req
139. No, thank you,
I keep count of my stepsCopy !req
140. in my head,
like a normal person.Copy !req
141. I'm up to 6,743
for the day.Copy !req
142. Okay, Boyle, it's time
for the Manhunter to hunt...Copy !req
143. Man.Copy !req
144. Ooh
here he comesCopy !req
145. Watch out, men
He'll hunt you downCopy !req
146. Ooh, here he comesCopy !req
147. Jake's a Manhunter!Copy !req
148. Charles... I love that.Copy !req
149. Keep doing the song
while I work the scene.Copy !req
150. You got it!Copy !req
151. Okay, bullet lodged there
is four feet below the holeCopy !req
152. in the backdrop indicating a
trajectory of about 15 degrees,Copy !req
153. which means the shot
was taken from eitherCopy !req
154. the second or third floor of one
of the buildings across the plaza.Copy !req
155. Ooh, here he comesCopy !req
156. That building's windows
don't open.Copy !req
157. Watch out, men
He'll hunt you downCopy !req
158. That one's
obscured by trees.Copy !req
159. Ooh, here he comes...Copy !req
160. Which means that the shooter
must've been located...Copy !req
161. On the sky bridge.Copy !req
162. Jake's a ManhunterCopy !req
163. Officer Holt.
Mmm.Copy !req
164. I thought I stationed you...Copy !req
165. Not here!Copy !req
166. Right. I'm just here in
the plaza looking for, um...Copy !req
167. This!Copy !req
168. A half-eaten box
of McNuggets?Copy !req
169. Yup, it's my lunch.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
170. And what type of food
is a McNugget?Copy !req
171. Some type of a...
Paella?Copy !req
172. You had to know
that was a bad guess.Copy !req
173. Well, the point is,
I needed my paella,Copy !req
174. and I noticed
the sky bridge,Copy !req
175. so I thought
I might be of some help,Copy !req
176. but I'll just go back
and standCopy !req
177. next to a piece of police
tape and do nothing.Copy !req
178. Wait,
stop. How would you like to stick aroundCopy !req
179. and assist on the case?Copy !req
180. You sure, Jake?
I mean,Copy !req
181. there's only room
for one Manhunter.Copy !req
182. Boyle is right,
I don't want to overstep.Copy !req
183. You're not overstepping.Copy !req
184. I mean, he interrupted
the song, but whatever.Copy !req
185. Great,
I'll just leave my paellaCopy !req
186. on the ground,
save it for later.Copy !req
187. We all know that's
not your lunch!Copy !req
188. So, the shooter was
standing right here.Copy !req
189. A standard long gun would've
ejected the casing right over...Copy !req
190. There, where Holt is already
putting down an evidence marker.Copy !req
191. Yes, I found it
quite quickly.Copy !req
192. Great, thank you for saving
me the trouble of doing my job.Copy !req
193. Oh, sorry. Would you like
me to pick the evidence markerCopy !req
194. back up so you can
place it on the ground?Copy !req
195. Yes!
No, of course not.Copy !req
196. Good work.Copy !req
197. I bet the shooter
went that way.Copy !req
198. Sorry.
Yeah, it's okay.Copy !req
199. Follow me
to the service entrance.Copy !req
200. Ugh, we did it again.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
201. It's really no problem.
Great!Copy !req
202. Follow me, everyone!
Wait, what?Copy !req
203. Security footage showed
no cars leaving the area,Copy !req
204. so our shooter must've
left here on foot.Copy !req
205. He's taking over
your case, Jake.Copy !req
206. You have to stop him.
Well, you know,Copy !req
207. it takes a true leader
to let someone else lead.Copy !req
208. Ugh, sounds exactly
like something I would say.Copy !req
209. Snap out of it.
Look, it's fine, I just...Copy !req
210. I feel sorry for him, okay?Copy !req
211. His assignment was
standing next to tape.Copy !req
212. I'm still gonna crack the
case. I cracked the case.Copy !req
213. Come on!
Hot dog man,Copy !req
214. tell them
what you told me.Copy !req
215. I saw a guy, mid-height,
brown hair,Copy !req
216. and a green hoodie
with an owl on it.Copy !req
217. He had a big bag,
and he was running like hell.Copy !req
218. It sounds like our guy.
All right, let's call it inCopy !req
219. to give a statement
to the press.Copy !req
220. Great idea.Copy !req
221. He knows that I meant I
would give the statement, right?Copy !req
222. And if the shooter's watching,Copy !req
223. I hope you like livingCopy !req
224. between St. Charles Place
and Connecticut Avenue.Copy !req
225. Because that's where
jail is in Monopoly.Copy !req
226. A great line from
a great man,Copy !req
227. or should I say
"Man-hunter."Copy !req
228. Yeah, he overstepped.Copy !req
229. Boyle, gather everyone up.Copy !req
230. Oh, we starting
a burn book about Holt?Copy !req
231. Let's drag him, baby!
No,Copy !req
232. someone saw our hoodie guy.Copy !req
233. Right, we'll do
the burn book later.Copy !req
234. Attention, everyone,
we have a possible sightingCopy !req
235. of our shooter
on Hoyt Street.Copy !req
236. Detective Boyle and I
will take Alpha unit.Copy !req
237. Smith, Fox...
You guard the burn book.Copy !req
238. Charles, no.
Stand down.Copy !req
239. You take Bravo unit.
The rest of you,Copy !req
240. continue to sweep the area in
case this lead doesn't pan out.Copy !req
241. The clock is ticking.
Go, go, go!Copy !req
242. Where should I go,
Detective? I'd love to be of service.Copy !req
243. Captain Holt!
I mean... Dude!Copy !req
244. I haven't seen you since your big
news conference which I just loved.Copy !req
245. Ray, there you are!Copy !req
246. I can't believe you left
your post again.Copy !req
247. Detectives, I'm sorry for my
partner's bad boy behavior.Copy !req
248. I am not a bad boy,Copy !req
249. I'm trying to catch
the bad boys!Copy !req
250. If anything,
I'm a good boy.Copy !req
251. That's exactly
what a bad boy would say.Copy !req
252. It's definitely not, and no need
to apologize, we have a job to do.Copy !req
253. Great! Where
do you want us?Copy !req
254. Someone matching
our shooter's profileCopy !req
255. was just seen over
on Atlantic and 4th,Copy !req
256. I need you both there immediately,
can you handle it?Copy !req
257. Absolutely not, it sounds like
way too much responsibility.Copy !req
258. Don't listen to Debbie.
We're on it!Copy !req
259. All right. Bye!Copy !req
260. What's going on?
The guy's on Hoyt Street.Copy !req
261. I know, I gave Holt a
fake lead to get rid of him.Copy !req
262. Don't worry, I'm stillCopy !req
263. the Manhunter.Copy !req
264. He's the Manhunter!Copy !req
265. And the boy
who he hunts withCopy !req
266. What's that song?
The Boyhunter song!Copy !req
267. BoyhunterCopy !req
268. Down by the schoolyardCopy !req
269. Why is he by the schoolyard?
He's gotta protect the kids!Copy !req
270. Sounds terrible.
Really? I don't hear it!Copy !req
271. Let's just go.Copy !req
272. Okay, good news.Copy !req
273. I found a bodega
in the containment zoneCopy !req
274. and got a bunch
of pregnancy tests.Copy !req
275. A bunch?
Yeah.Copy !req
276. It's a New York bodega,
you can't be too cautious.Copy !req
277. Good point.Copy !req
278. Yep, expired
10 years ago.Copy !req
279. Open. And used!Copy !req
280. Made of gummies? Why?Copy !req
281. Weirdly vibrating.Copy !req
282. This is for teens.
That's dark.Copy !req
283. This is good.Copy !req
284. Great, let's do this.Copy !req
285. Hey, Santiago, nice work
at checkpoint one.Copy !req
286. Wait, why are you guys
being all weird again?Copy !req
287. We're not being weird.Copy !req
288. Do not dab!Copy !req
289. I wasn't going to.Copy !req
290. I know what's going
on here. You do?Copy !req
291. Yep. You're talking
about me.Copy !req
292. I know because my daughters
are doing the same thing.Copy !req
293. Every time I go
in that room,Copy !req
294. they get all weird
and quiet.Copy !req
295. That's 'cause they're
making fun of Daddy.Copy !req
296. Is that what you're doing,
making fun of Daddy?Copy !req
297. First off... Yeah,
I heard it, I'm sorry.Copy !req
298. Great. Secondly,
we're not talking about you.Copy !req
299. What are you
talking about, then?Copy !req
300. Our favorite...Copy !req
301. Porns.Copy !req
302. What?
It's true.Copy !req
303. We have specific
favorite porns.Copy !req
304. And we're
talking about 'em.Copy !req
305. Yeah.
Okay, legally,Copy !req
306. I feel as though
I need to back away.Copy !req
307. But I want it to be knownCopy !req
308. that I still do not
believe you.Copy !req
309. Get back to work!
Eh, that went well.Copy !req
310. All right. Let's take this
thing and get it over with.Copy !req
311. I can't.
What? Why?Copy !req
312. I have no pee
inside of me.Copy !req
313. I'm pee-free, Rosa! What do I do,
what do I do?Copy !req
314. Drink water.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
315. You're smart.Copy !req
316. You're a very good friend,
I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
317. Street's clear.
No sign of the shooter.Copy !req
318. Where'd he go?Copy !req
319. Why are you shushing me?
I'm doing that thingCopy !req
320. where I listen really
closely for a noise clue,Copy !req
321. like glass breaking
or trash rustling.Copy !req
322. Cool! Is it working?Copy !req
323. No, not yet.Copy !req
324. Because I'm talking?
Well, it's not helping.Copy !req
325. Right, right, right.
I'll be quiet.Copy !req
326. You don't have to say you'll be quiet,
just be quiet.Copy !req
327. Okay. I'm sorry
for not being quiet.Copy !req
328. Once again,
don't have to say.Copy !req
329. Just wanna be clear
what I'm doing.Copy !req
330. Understood.
I'm just gonna listen.Copy !req
331. Okay. I'll be very quiet.Copy !req
332. Don't have to say it.Copy !req
333. Just wanna make sure
you know what I'm doing.Copy !req
334. Please stop.
So I don't throw you.Copy !req
335. Okay, stop talking.
I'll stop talking.Copy !req
336. Great.Copy !req
337. I'll make sure
I don't do that again.Copy !req
338. All right, Charles,
I love you, but you ruined it.Copy !req
339. Trash rustle!Copy !req
340. He's running,
call it in!Copy !req
341. I'll follow,
you cut him off!Copy !req
342. Damn it!Copy !req
343. Nice, Charles!
Name's not Charles, it's...Copy !req
344. Boyhunter.Copy !req
345. You know what,
you earned it.Copy !req
346. Way to get
your boy, Boyhunter!Copy !req
347. All right, let's get our
perp back to the Nine-Nine.Copy !req
348. I'll tell Jeffords
to lift the lockdown.Copy !req
349. Detective Peralta!Copy !req
350. I see you got the man
you were looking for.Copy !req
351. With your help, Officer! I really
couldn't have done it without you.Copy !req
352. No, this was all you.Copy !req
353. We were in a completely
wrong location.Copy !req
354. Which was
a huge relief to me.Copy !req
355. Plus, we got
a lot of steps in.Copy !req
356. I'm drowning
in foot-fives.Copy !req
357. Well, no need to focus on who
was where or what a foot-five is,Copy !req
358. we gotta start brainstorming
headlines for tomorrow's paper.Copy !req
359. I got one. "The Only
Assassin in this CityCopy !req
360. "is Jake Peralta Because
He Just Killed This Case."Copy !req
361. I don't know if we want to make
it seem like I'm the assassin.Copy !req
362. Yeah, good thinking.
How about this,Copy !req
363. "Hero Cop Saves City, Pitt,
Clooney Circling To Play Him In Biopic."Copy !req
364. Hunks!
I have a headline.Copy !req
365. "Pitt, Clooney Laugh
At Jake PeraltaCopy !req
366. "For Arresting
The Wrong Man."Copy !req
367. Well, I don't know if they
would laugh at me for saving...Copy !req
368. What, did you just say
I got the wrong man?Copy !req
369. What do you mean
we got the wrong man?Copy !req
370. What are you talking about?
You know how you sentCopy !req
371. Debbie and me off
on a wild goose chase?Copy !req
372. Oh, so you figured that out? Well,
Debbie did.Copy !req
373. She's quite the detective.
Oh, I'm really not.Copy !req
374. I'm just always being given
meaningless tasksCopy !req
375. and I'm not complaining.Copy !req
376. So what, you're just saying
we have the wrong guy now,Copy !req
377. because you're upset
about the fake lead?Copy !req
378. No, I'm saying you have
the wrong guy because you do.Copy !req
379. When I realized your lead
was nothing but hooey,Copy !req
380. I went back to re-interview
the hot dog man,Copy !req
381. but he was gone.Copy !req
382. And why was that?
Debbie, tell 'em!Copy !req
383. Oh, no, I don't want
to be a part of this.Copy !req
384. Because the hot dog man
is the shooter.Copy !req
385. What? That seems
like a reach.Copy !req
386. Sometimes, when you reach,
you grab the truth.Copy !req
387. Sorry, Jake,
he turned it around on me.Copy !req
388. Come on! The hot dog
man gave a false statementCopy !req
389. to throw us off the scent
and then vanishedCopy !req
390. while we were off looking
for the wrong guy.Copy !req
391. Face it,
you're no Manhunter.Copy !req
392. If anything,
you're a Wrong Manhunter.Copy !req
393. How dare you?Copy !req
394. You know what?
This is crazy.Copy !req
395. You're just
making up a solveCopy !req
396. because you can't stand
the fact that you got demoted.Copy !req
397. You've been trying to hijack
this case all day.Copy !req
398. I was only trying to help.
If I'm such a headache,Copy !req
399. then why didn't you
reassign me?Copy !req
400. Because I felt sorry for you.Copy !req
401. I told you to treat me
like any uniformed officer.Copy !req
402. It's not my fault that you don't
know how to give an order!Copy !req
403. Okay, fine. Here's one.Copy !req
404. We're lifting the lockdown,
go pick up cones.Copy !req
405. Ooh, I love cone duty!
Debbie, can it!Copy !req
406. We have the wrong guy.
You cannot lift the lockdown.Copy !req
407. Go pick up cones,
that's an order.Copy !req
408. No! Fine,
then you're off the case!Copy !req
409. Good.Copy !req
410. Do I still get
to pick up cones?Copy !req
411. No!Copy !req
412. Amy, stop.Copy !req
413. You've had enough water. I can
hear it sloshing around inside you.Copy !req
414. I know, but I still
can't pee!Copy !req
415. I'm too stressed.
You need to calm down.Copy !req
416. You know what
helps me relax?Copy !req
417. Kicking stuff?
Absolutely.Copy !req
418. So, what or who
do you wanna kick?Copy !req
419. That guy looks
pretty kickable.Copy !req
420. Hey! I'm not kicking anybody,
okay?Copy !req
421. I just need, like,
some calming noises.Copy !req
422. Okay, close your eyes.Copy !req
423. Okay.Copy !req
424. Glub, glub.Copy !req
425. Glub.
What is that?Copy !req
426. It's a babbling brook.Copy !req
427. Glub, glub, glub.Copy !req
428. You know what?
It's pretty good.Copy !req
429. Thank you.
Everybody, shut up!Copy !req
430. Glub, glub, glub,
glub, glub, glub.Copy !req
431. Why is the tent so quiet?Copy !req
432. Is everybody talking
about me now?Copy !req
433. Nobody is talking
about you.Copy !req
434. Sure. Terry walks
into a tentCopy !req
435. and everybody just
happens to stop talkingCopy !req
436. at the same damn time?Copy !req
437. You are gaslighting me
just like my daughters!Copy !req
438. Terry, I think you're
being paranoid.Copy !req
439. I'm not paranoid!Copy !req
440. I put a recording device
in my girls' room.Copy !req
441. You planted a bug
in your daughters' room?Copy !req
442. I do what I have to do.Copy !req
443. They said I look
like a giant triangle!Copy !req
444. Is that an insult?
I don't know!Copy !req
445. But they were
laughing like it was,Copy !req
446. and it hurt
just the same!Copy !req
447. Don't have kids!Copy !req
448. Well, that ruined everything.Copy !req
449. I know we got
kicked off the case,Copy !req
450. but there is good news.Copy !req
451. I unlocked a new accessory
for my Foot Friend avatar.Copy !req
452. A sandal!
Debbie, wait.Copy !req
453. Change of plans. We're not
going back to the precinct.Copy !req
454. Are we gonna go rogue
and pick up cones?Copy !req
455. Oh, we're going way more
rogue than picking up cones.Copy !req
456. Listen, it's unlikely
our shooter hadCopy !req
457. his own hot dog cart,
where'd he get it from?Copy !req
458. Please don't make me
help you with this.Copy !req
459. My guess is the food cart
garage is just two blocks awayCopy !req
460. from our crime scene,Copy !req
461. or, shall I say,
238 steps.Copy !req
462. Don't tempt me with steps.Copy !req
463. This is a defining
moment for you.Copy !req
464. You can either obey orders
for the rest of your lifeCopy !req
465. and make no impact
on the world,Copy !req
466. or stand up!Copy !req
467. And solve this case
with me.Copy !req
468. Is there a third option?
Nervously tag along.Copy !req
469. Great. I choose the
nervously tag along option.Copy !req
470. Okay, the reporters are all
set for your press conference.Copy !req
471. It's your big moment,
are you excited?Copy !req
472. No.
Oh.Copy !req
473. Are you worried
about your voice cracking?Copy !req
474. Do you want me to help
you warm up your throat?Copy !req
475. What would that entail?
I'll just show you.Copy !req
476. Don't show me, tell me.
I blow hot airCopy !req
477. into my hands
and I stroke your neck.Copy !req
478. That's not gonna happen,
and it's not why I'm stressed.Copy !req
479. I think Holt got
into my head.Copy !req
480. We might have to delay
the press conference.Copy !req
481. But this is the moment
we've been waiting for.Copy !req
482. My dad's driving home early from
his brother's funeral to watch it live.Copy !req
483. Wait, he's doing what?Copy !req
484. If you want me to put it
in a better context, I can't.Copy !req
485. This was
very important to him.Copy !req
486. Holt is a great cop,Copy !req
487. and I know the demotion's
driving him crazy,Copy !req
488. but his gut
is usually right.Copy !req
489. I think we need to find
that hot dog cart guy.Copy !req
490. Okay, fine.Copy !req
491. But who do we know that
could find us a randomCopy !req
492. New York hot dog guy?Copy !req
493. So, you need a little help
from the Weiner Warriors.Copy !req
494. Well, I hate that. Just tell
us what you know, please?Copy !req
495. There's Lou's Dogs,
he serves 'em up real plump.Copy !req
496. Big Mike's does
two dogs per bun.Copy !req
497. Hank's Franks
great mustard selection.Copy !req
498. Vicki's Vegan?
I'd rather eat.Copy !req
499. Charlie does an al dente dog,
it's got a really nice chew.Copy !req
500. Johnny Arkansas
serves it Little Rock style,Copy !req
501. although he can
serve it Razorback-style.Copy !req
502. Okay, enough,
enough! We don't have time for this!Copy !req
503. Just tell us who has
a cart at 6th and 11 th.Copy !req
504. Oh, there are no
hot dog carts there.Copy !req
505. What? Never?
No way.Copy !req
506. Not a chance! Zoning
issue. Forget about it, Jake.Copy !req
507. It's Hungertown.Copy !req
508. Oh, my God,
Holt was right.Copy !req
509. We have to call him.Copy !req
510. Officer Holt? Officer Holt,
do you copy?Copy !req
511. Okay, cop.
Turn it off.Copy !req
512. Nice try. My partner
doesn't follow orders.Copy !req
513. Debbie,
you're misreading the situation.Copy !req
514. Oh. I'm so sorry.
We both...Copy !req
515. Both follow orders.Copy !req
516. So you were the shooter,
just like I said.Copy !req
517. And the man in the hoodieCopy !req
518. was just some
random bystanderCopy !req
519. on whom you tried to pin it!Copy !req
520. No, he was in on it too.Copy !req
521. Oh. Well,
I'm still half right.Copy !req
522. Sure. Is that
important to you?Copy !req
523. Very.
I'm gonna die.Copy !req
524. I'm gonna die before I ever
got to find my twin sister's killer.Copy !req
525. What?
That's the reasonCopy !req
526. I joined the force,
remember?Copy !req
527. To find the man who
murdered my twin sister.Copy !req
528. That's my whole story!Copy !req
529. Debbie, there's no way
you told me that.Copy !req
530. Nothing's working!Copy !req
531. Maybe you just
need to laugh.Copy !req
532. Here,
look at this video of a manCopy !req
533. being trampled
by a moose.Copy !req
534. Dear Lord,
that's horrifying!Copy !req
535. I know, it's hilarious.Copy !req
536. What are you laughing at?
Is that a video of me?Copy !req
537. Oh, no, is it that time
Terry fell off a Lime scooter?Copy !req
538. Why would any of us have
that footage?Copy !req
539. Don't skirt the question!
I want to knowCopy !req
540. what I'm falling off
of in that video.Copy !req
541. Stop it,
Terry, okay?Copy !req
542. We haven't been
talking about you!Copy !req
543. Oh. Kicking.Copy !req
544. I think kicking's working.
Told you. Go with it.Copy !req
545. Keep kicking that can.Copy !req
546. It worked,Copy !req
547. I have to pee!
I finally have to pee!Copy !req
548. Wait, this is about
you having to pee?Copy !req
549. Yes!
Wow.Copy !req
550. I guess I owe
you guys an apology.Copy !req
551. I may have been bringing some
things from home into the workplace.Copy !req
552. Yeah, that was clear
from the start, okay?Copy !req
553. Now, move, I need
to find a bathroom.Copy !req
554. Stop, we have
an emergency!Copy !req
555. Everybody stop what
you're about to do.Copy !req
556. Yeah, but I gotta pee
really bad.Copy !req
557. Well, hold it,
Amy. Holt's not answering his radio.Copy !req
558. I think he and Debbie
might be in trouble.Copy !req
559. It's just us, man, you don't have
to pretend to care about Debbie.Copy !req
560. Rosa! What? We barely know herCopy !req
561. and she's annoying. She's
always trying to get meCopy !req
562. to be friends with her on
that weird app for pedicures.Copy !req
563. It's a pedometer app.Copy !req
564. It's a pedometer app!Copy !req
565. We can use the social
features to track her!Copy !req
566. It's $80.Copy !req
567. Uh, Boyle,
you should download it,Copy !req
568. you get
better service here.Copy !req
569. Smart! And I'll upgrade
to ad-free too.Copy !req
570. Smart.
Okay, let's move!Copy !req
571. Sweet! We're running, okay.Copy !req
572. If I die, will you
look after my cat?Copy !req
573. I'm really more
of a dog person.Copy !req
574. I understand.Copy !req
575. NYPD, nobody move!Copy !req
576. You're surrounded!
Don't do anything stupid.Copy !req
577. Looks like we got
ourselves a standoff.Copy !req
578. Fine by us,
we got all the time in the world.Copy !req
579. What? Uh-uh!
I gotta pee!Copy !req
580. Ow.Copy !req
581. Perp secured.
Great, okay, cool!Copy !req
582. I gotta go! You guys are good,
right? Bye!Copy !req
583. Thanks for
saving us, Peralta.Copy !req
584. Thank Debbie,
we tracked you using her pedometer app.Copy !req
585. Oh, my goodness,
I helped!Copy !req
586. And I got four new
Foot Friend requests!Copy !req
587. What a day, guys!Copy !req
588. Detective. I believe
I owe you an apology.Copy !req
589. No, Officer,
I owe you one.Copy !req
590. No, I owe you.Copy !req
591. Great, 'cause I hadn't thought of
what I was gonna apologize for yet.Copy !req
592. I should not have
disobeyed your order.Copy !req
593. I was wrong.Copy !req
594. Not about the case,
of course,Copy !req
595. my hunch was impeccable.Copy !req
596. Interesting
apology strategy,Copy !req
597. a little heavy
on the brags.Copy !req
598. Point is, you were right.Copy !req
599. I hijacked the caseCopy !req
600. because I needed
to feel respected.Copy !req
601. Listen, it's weird
that I'm your boss now,Copy !req
602. and that's not
going anywhere,Copy !req
603. but no matter what
uniform you wear,Copy !req
604. I'm always gonna love you... I mean,
cherish...Copy !req
605. I mean, respect.Copy !req
606. You said respect, right?
Yes.Copy !req
607. Yep. And I feel the
same about you.Copy !req
608. So, do you have
any orders for me, sir?Copy !req
609. Well, I do actually still
need those cones picked up.Copy !req
610. We're on it.
We got cone duty?Copy !req
611. Yes! Best birthday yet.Copy !req
612. It's your birthday?Copy !req
613. Hey, so,Copy !req
614. today was pretty intense.Copy !req
615. You mean catching
the shooter?Copy !req
616. I know,
it's a great story.Copy !req
617. I just hope Pitt can get
in good enough shapeCopy !req
618. to play me in the movie,
you know?Copy !req
619. Mmm, yeah.Copy !req
620. Um, also,
something else happened.Copy !req
621. I thought
I might be pregnant.Copy !req
622. Really?Copy !req
623. Yeah. I'm not,
I got my period.Copy !req
624. And I took a pregnancy test,
but it didn't workCopy !req
625. because I drank
11 gallons of water.Copy !req
626. Told you water
was bad for you.Copy !req
627. That's not the takeaway.
You're absolutely right.Copy !req
628. How are you,
how do you feel? Are you okay?Copy !req
629. I mean, I was
really stressed.Copy !req
630. This wasn't our plan,Copy !req
631. and we agreed
we'd wait a yearCopy !req
632. and there's so much
to do first,Copy !req
633. and it would've
been crazy, right?Copy !req
634. Yeah, it would've been.
Okay.Copy !req
635. But also might've beenCopy !req
636. kinda cool.Copy !req
637. Honestly?Copy !req
638. I was secretly bummed when
the test came back negative.Copy !req
639. Should we just
start trying?Copy !req
640. Seriously?Copy !req
641. Yeah, seriously.Copy !req
642. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
643. Oh,
wait! It's after 11:00.Copy !req
644. My interview! It's
supposed to be on the news.Copy !req
645. An incredible conclusion
to a terrifying day,Copy !req
646. and we were able
to get a commentCopy !req
647. from the men who helped
solve this case.Copy !req
648. They call us
the Weiner Warriors.Copy !req
649. No!Copy !req