1. Hey, hey,
hey! It's the best day of the year.
Copy !req
2. Happy Cinco de Mayo!
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3. I don't think you're allowed to
wear a poncho at work, Hitchcock.
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4. Let's fiesta!
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5. Oh, you got a band.
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6. Stop! Stop! No trumpets.
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7. Not today!
My head is killing me.
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8. Hit the tequila
a little early, huh?
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9. I'm not hung over, Hitchcock.
I've got a tension headache.
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10. I've got the Lieutenant's
exam tonight.
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11. I'm stress-eating
like crazy.
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12. I had ten hard-boiled
egg yolks this morning.
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13. Gross. You're
having a high-grade
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14. pre-test freak out.
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15. I've been there.
March 13, 2001.
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16. AP Calc test...
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17. Ames, I hate to cut you off,
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18. but we all know
where this story's going.
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19. Oh, yeah? You know that I crapped
my pants in the middle of the test?
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20. Oh, my God, no, I thought
you were just gonna say
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21. you got a B+ or something.
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22. More like a BM.
Noice.
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23. Come on, now Terry's worried
about his test and his bowels.
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24. What you need, Sergeant,
is to distract yourself.
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25. NPR has a riveting six-hour
interview with Eileen Moon Myers.
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26. Nobody knows who that is.
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27. Nobody knows the
Associate Principal Cellist
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28. in the New York
Philharmonic? Okay.
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29. Wait! I've got it.
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30. I know
how to distract Terry.
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31. Captain, remember how you
canceled the last Halloween heist
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32. because there was that
emergency gas line explosion
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33. and you said we had
to "help out"?
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34. Yes, I also remember
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35. you refusing to believe
the explosion was real.
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36. Go back to
acting school, buddy.
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37. You're way overselling
the pain here.
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38. No one's buying it.
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39. Well, it's not like I was the
only one who thought it was fake.
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40. And the Oscar
goes to... Trent!
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41. You said that we should
reschedule the heist
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42. for another day,
so why not today?
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43. To help distract Terry?
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44. Yes! And I would
love to defend my crown
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45. after I destroyed
you all last year.
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46. Well, I mean, the proposal
was all part of my plan.
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47. All I remember is you
bowing to me on your knees.
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48. Yeah, I was asking you
to marry me.
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49. Well, you look like a fool.
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50. Neither of you won
because Jake swapped out
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51. the real championship
cummerbund...
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52. Belt.
For the treacly proposal one.
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53. What? I thought everyone loved that
I used the heist to do the proposal.
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54. You are wrong,
everyone hated it. But it helped me win.
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55. During your engagement
celebration, I snuck back
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56. and found the original
cummerbund. Belt.
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57. It's hanging up
in my living room at home.
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58. I never thought I'd say this,
but enough foreplay.
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59. Are we heisting or not?
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60. Yes!
Of course!
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61. Wait, I will only do this
under one condition.
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62. Sergeant Jeffords agrees that
this will help his nerves.
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63. Yeah, I mean, I would like to
take my mind off the test.
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64. And maybe I'll win this year!
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65. Ah,
the heist is already working.
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66. Sergeant Jeffords has
recovered his sense of humor.
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67. Hey!
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68. All right,
but for real, though.
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69. Are we doing this?
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70. We're doing this!
Heist!
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71. Heist!
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72. It's a Cinco de Mayo heist!
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73. A Cinco de Mayo heist
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74. makes just as much sense
as Halloween! Let's do it!
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75. Welcome, one and all,
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76. to the first ever
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77. Cinco de Mayo
Halloween Heist 6.
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78. We're still working
on the title.
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79. No need, I love it!
Thank you, Charles.
Copy !req
80. Now, before we
go any further,
Copy !req
81. we should probably
choose an item to steal.
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82. Does anyone have
anything valuable on them?
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83. Maybe some jewelry?
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84. I have a medical alert
bracelet that tells people
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85. my name and address,
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86. in case I have
a brain collapse.
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87. Perfect, this year's champion
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88. will be whoever's
in possession
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89. of Scully's very upsetting
bracelet at midnight tonight.
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90. I take my test at 6:30.
You know what, Terry?
Copy !req
91. You're kind of making this
a nightmare.
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92. Maybe you just
shouldn't participate.
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93. So this really isn't about
helping out Sergeant Jeffords?
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94. What?
I guess I'm out.
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95. But, no, no, come on.
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96. Of course, I'm 100%
in support of Terry.
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97. In fact, I'm going
to team up with him.
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98. Let's do this!
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99. You are so easily
manipulated.
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100. Now you're stuck with
Sergeant Dumb Dumb.
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101. Damn it.
Hey.
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102. Santiago, shall we
join forces?
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103. Ooh! Smart, teaming up with
the reigning champ.
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104. Again with this nonsense?
I'm the reigning champ.
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105. The only thing you won
last heist was a lifetime of
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106. mediocre heterosexual
intercourse with Jake.
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107. How dare you!
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108. No one thinks
you won last year.
Copy !req
109. Wow, really thought the "how
dare you" was going to be
Copy !req
110. linked to his mean
sex comment, but okay.
Copy !req
111. Right, sorry.
I'll have you know
Copy !req
112. Jake and I wear each other out
every single night.
Copy !req
113. Good lord, overcompensating.
You know what?
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114. Maybe we just shouldn't
talk about this at work.
Copy !req
115. I'm texting Kevin
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116. to bring the cummerbund.
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117. You'll see who
the real winner is,
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118. you braggy breeders.
Copy !req
119. A lot of infighting.
Not too late to ditch Amy
Copy !req
120. and team up with
this pussycat burglar.
Copy !req
121. Please, Boyle,
your only value
Copy !req
122. was you had
a doppelganger
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123. which no longer matters
since Bill died in that accident.
Copy !req
124. RIP, Bill.
So sad.
Copy !req
125. I can still be
useful without Bill.
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126. No hole's too tight
for these tiny tips.
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127. For stealing stuff.
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128. Well, fine.
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129. Looks like I'll just team up
with my friend Rosa.
Copy !req
130. I'm out. Five heists
was enough.
Copy !req
131. We've exhausted every
possibility of this thing.
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132. Literally nothing new can
happen. It's boring.
Copy !req
133. You can have a long lunch
with me instead.
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134. Ooh, lunch?
The devil's breakfast.
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135. Well, forget it.
Okay, I won't call it that!
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136. I just want to be
included in something.
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137. Okay, that whole lunch thing
was clearly a ploy.
Copy !req
138. But even still,
I'm not worried about losing to Boyle.
Copy !req
139. No one is.
He's a joke.
Copy !req
140. All right, let's get
this thing going.
Copy !req
141. Scully will be locked
Copy !req
142. in the supply closet
with his bracelet.
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143. Can I lie down on the floor?
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144. Uh, yeah. You can do
whatever you want.
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145. And you're already
on the ground.
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146. With Hitchcock. And
you both have pillows.
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147. Best day ever.
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148. There. Now they're locked in.
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149. Arrange your affairs. The
heist begins in five minutes.
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150. Five minutes? But this whole
thing was so last second.
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151. I don't even have
any plans or supplies.
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152. I have so many plans
and supplies.
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153. I even have
a victory banner
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154. that unfurls
with a voice command.
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155. I can't say what,
but it's so cool.
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156. I thought this was
a spur-of-the-moment fun way
Copy !req
157. to distract me from
freaking out about my exam.
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158. Well, it wasn't exactly
hard to predict, Sarge.
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159. Your catchphrase is
"Terry hates tests."
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160. It's true.
Terry hates tests!
Copy !req
161. But the point is,
I planned everything,
Copy !req
162. starting with
Scully's bracelet.
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163. It had to be the prize
because I have prepared
Copy !req
164. the greatest reveal
in heist history.
Copy !req
165. Allow me to
introduce you to...
Copy !req
166. Other Scully.
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167. Hi, I'm Earl,
Norm's twin brother.
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168. Why has Scully never
mentioned he had a twin before?
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169. Because no one talks about
their siblings with coworkers.
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170. I've told you
about my brother Lawrence.
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171. Nope, and I don't want
to learn about him
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172. and I already
forgot his name.
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173. Now let's go.
It's time to heist!
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174. No movement yet.
So here's our plan.
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175. After watching everyone coo
over your maudlin proposal,
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176. I've decided we should
employ a similar diversion.
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177. Smart, I'm in.
You will tell Jake
Copy !req
178. you are pregnant
with his child.
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179. What? I'm not pregnant.
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180. Here is a positive
pregnancy test
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181. and a sonogram of your fetus.
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182. Congratulations. It's a girl.
Copy !req
183. Feels a little mean to play
with Jake's feelings like that, sir.
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184. You're right, it is mean.
Too bad.
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185. As your mentor,
I command you to do it.
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186. Wow, okay.
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187. Perhaps we should discuss
some other options.
Copy !req
188. There's no time, look.
Copy !req
189. Peralta's going
for the bracelet!
Copy !req
190. How'd he get him free
so quickly?
Copy !req
191. See ya later, losers!
Not so fast!
Copy !req
192. What the hell was that?
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193. That Fitbit I gave you
at Christmas?
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194. I modified it into a taser.
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195. What? Do you even want me
to get into shape?
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196. Yeah, but not as much
as I want to win.
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197. Buzz buzz, bitch.
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198. I've got Scully.
Come on, let's go.
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199. No! No!
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200. Yes.
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201. Fake heist
went perfectly.
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202. So did the real heist.
Copy !req
203. Why is your face
twitching like that?
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204. Oh, Amy tased me a bunch.
I bit my own tongue.
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205. It was awesome. Was it hard
to get through the door?
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206. No. I'm strong as hell.
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207. The hard part was getting
this bracelet off Scully's wrist.
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208. How can you even feel your
hand with this thing so tight?
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209. You're supposed to feel your hand? Well,
that's terrifying.
Copy !req
210. Now if you'll excuse me,
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211. I'm going to hide the old
bracelet and win me this heist.
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212. Don't you mean
win us this heist?
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213. Oh, Terrence,
unfortunately I do not.
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214. What the hell?
Sorry, Sarge.
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215. It had to be this way.
Why?
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216. The banner
only has my name on it.
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217. It's really
all about the banner.
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218. It unfurls
by a voice command.
Copy !req
219. But I promise
that I will mention
Copy !req
220. both you and Earl Scully
in my victory speech.
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221. Wait, Earl's here?
Yeah.
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222. He helped us
with the heist.
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223. I told that son of a bitch
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224. never to show his face
in New York again!
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225. Oh, why are you running
towards the glass?
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226. You're a dead man, Earl!
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227. That's not great.
You're a dead man, Jake!
Copy !req
228. That's much worse.
Copy !req
229. Squirt more lube
and help me yank.
Copy !req
230. You know that fun braggy recap
we do at the end of each win?
Copy !req
231. Can we leave
this part out?
Copy !req
232. Yes. We'll
make up a cooler thing.
Copy !req
233. But for now,
we lube and yank.
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234. Wrap your legs around him
to anchor yourself.
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235. Yep. Here we go.
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236. Earl? Earl!
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237. Norm?
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238. Norm?
What the...
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239. I'm so happy
your friend invited me to...
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240. I told you what would happen
if I ever saw you again, Earl.
Copy !req
241. What is going on?
What am I looking at?
Copy !req
242. Scully has
a twin brother named Earl.
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243. Jake brought him here
to trick you.
Copy !req
244. Thank you for the ride,
Terrence.
Copy !req
245. Apparently they don't
get along very well.
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246. We did get along.
We were inseparable,
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247. until Earl slept
with my wife.
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248. It's not my fault
Copy !req
249. she wanted to have sex
with a stud instead of a dud.
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250. Stud? Your face looks it's
been kicked in by a horse!
Copy !req
251. Well, your mouth
looks like a butthole!
Copy !req
252. Your whole body looks
like a butthole.
Copy !req
253. And you look identical.
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254. Should we help Scully?
Copy !req
255. I'm not touching this.
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256. There's nowhere
to run, Earl.
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257. Well, that was
a real mind eff.
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258. Good-bye.
Just so you know,
Copy !req
259. Jake has the bracelet
in his pocket.
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260. Why would you tell
them that? We're a team!
Copy !req
261. You locked me up. Yeah,
but they didn't know that!
Copy !req
262. There's no bracelet
in his pocket.
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263. What? There should be.
Copy !req
264. Where'd it go?
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265. Shalom, partner.
Dope.
Copy !req
266. And you thought Shlomo
Ben-Yisrael wouldn't come through.
Copy !req
267. No, I said the name
and the costume
Copy !req
268. were offensive,
bordering on actionable.
Copy !req
269. Well,
it worked. Jake brought in Scully's twin
Copy !req
270. just like I planned when I
connected them on Facebook,
Copy !req
271. but he had no idea
they hated each other.
Copy !req
272. And when everyone
was fighting,
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273. they were too distracted
to notice old Shlomo.
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274. They all
underestimated me, Rosa,
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275. but today,
they will learn the error of their ways,
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276. for today, I will prove that nobody
gets the best of Charles Boyle.
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277. I doused your beard
in chloroform.
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278. Really? I find that
very hard to...
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279. Where's this going?
All the way to Trenton.
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280. Take your time.
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281. Ah! Perfect.
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282. What? What happened? You
know where the bracelet is?
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283. No. Kevin has
arrived with proof
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284. that I am the only two-time
winner of the heist.
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285. Here's your cummerbund,
Raymond.
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286. We don't have time
for this, sir!
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287. I'm gonna go
search the first floor.
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288. And I will search
the second floor.
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289. We are an inseparable team.
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290. That was a devious fib.
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291. I'm betraying her
even as we speak.
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292. Hey, Kev. Diaz and I are
covertly working together.
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293. She snuck up
through the vents.
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294. This is a major reveal. I feel
like you're not appreciating it.
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295. I don't like these heists,
or what they bring out in you.
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296. Oh, clam it, Kevin.
"Clam it"?
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297. Cheddar, perhaps
we should leave.
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298. No, Cheddar stays.
Copy !req
299. He still has
an important role to play.
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300. Give me Mr. Hootsworth.
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301. No one would ever think of
looking for the bracelet
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302. in Cheddar's
favorite chew toy.
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303. Or do you mean
Jake's favorite chew toy?
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304. Well, thank God no one
was around to hear that.
Copy !req
305. Ah. There you are.
I've been looking all over.
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306. Whoa! That's a lot of yolks.
Are you stress eating again
Copy !req
307. or is this just
a small Terry snack?
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308. I'm stress eating, Jake.
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309. My snack yolks
are in that bowl.
Copy !req
310. Well, stop eating eggs and
come help me with the heist!
Copy !req
311. I'm not helping you.
Why not?
Copy !req
312. Ugh, is this because
I once betrayed you?
Copy !req
313. Yes! It was
our last interaction.
Copy !req
314. And it was a huge mistake,
Copy !req
315. and I now realize
that our friendship
Copy !req
316. is way more important
than any stupid banner.
Copy !req
317. Look, the bracelet is
in Cheddar's chew toy.
Copy !req
318. I know because I bugged
Holt's cummerbund.
Copy !req
319. You did?
Yes! I figured he would
Copy !req
320. bring it in to show off.
Now let's do this!
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321. I don't know.
Copy !req
322. Look, Sarge,
I'm sorry, okay?
Copy !req
323. I can't undo the past,
but come on.
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324. Would you rather
win the heist with me
Copy !req
325. or sit around
swallowing eggs
Copy !req
326. like Birdo from
Super Mario 2?
Copy !req
327. Birdo doesn't eat eggs.
Birdo spits them!
Copy !req
328. Oh, my God, you got
that reference, Terry?
Copy !req
329. We're the perfect team.
Come on, Sarge, please?
Copy !req
330. Fine, I'll help.
Ah! Wonderful.
Copy !req
331. But, before you fully commit,
Copy !req
332. I should probably
give you the heads-up.
Copy !req
333. My plan is very elaborate
and you might get a little messy.
Copy !req
334. I'm in.
It's the heist, baby!
Copy !req
335. Now let me know
how we get that chew toy.
Copy !req
336. All right. Okay.
Copy !req
337. First, I infiltrate
Holt's office
Copy !req
338. and continue our argument
Copy !req
339. about who won
last year's heist.
Copy !req
340. How many cummerbunds
are you holding right now? Zero!
Copy !req
341. It's one bund to none, son!
Tell him, Kevin.
Copy !req
342. I'm leaving.
It doesn't matter...
Copy !req
343. As Holt argues with me,
Copy !req
344. I will be covertly releasing
Copy !req
345. more water
into Cheddar's bowl.
Copy !req
346. Then we sit back
and wait for...
Copy !req
347. Potty time again?
Copy !req
348. What if he takes
him downstairs?
Copy !req
349. He won't.
I spent a lot of time
Copy !req
350. making clandestine searches
on Holt's computer.
Copy !req
351. Now all of his targeted ads
direct him straight to...
Copy !req
352. The Puppy Peepee Pad.
Intriguing.
Copy !req
353. He bought one
and put it out on the roof
Copy !req
354. next to Gina's golden statue.
Copy !req
355. And, because he believes
that Cheddar deserves
Copy !req
356. to pee in privacy like any
other self-respecting adult,
Copy !req
357. he will leave Cheddar outside
alone to do his business.
Copy !req
358. Notify me when
you're done, via bark.
Copy !req
359. While Holt guards the door,
Copy !req
360. you'll be swapping out
Mr. Hootsworth for this.
Copy !req
361. That all sounds great,
Copy !req
362. but how do I get onto the roof
without Holt noticing?
Copy !req
363. Oh, Sarge. You'll already
be out there...
Copy !req
364. In a perfect golden disguise.
Copy !req
365. The plan worked! I got it!
Oh my God,
Copy !req
366. you look like an Oscar.
Copy !req
367. Ooh. We should take a picture
where it looks like I'm holding you.
Copy !req
368. Jake.
You're right.
Copy !req
369. There's no time. We'll do it later. No,
we won't.
Copy !req
370. Help me get this paint off.
Copy !req
371. Okay, put your
hands out and
Copy !req
372. I'll squirt you
with a little makeup remover.
Copy !req
373. Hi-ya!
No!
Copy !req
374. You're betraying
me again? Why?
Copy !req
375. Because of the banner!
Copy !req
376. But I thought you said our
friendship was more important!
Copy !req
377. Yeah, that was
obviously a lie.
Copy !req
378. The banner was
very expensive!
Copy !req
379. I don't have
a lot of money, Sarge.
Copy !req
380. All right, bye.
Copy !req
381. Don't make a lot of noise.
Copy !req
382. Howdy. I just got back from
lunch with Charles, who is not here.
Copy !req
383. I am real glad I skipped the heist. Say,
who is winning?
Copy !req
384. I don't know, but I know
that I am not winning.
Copy !req
385. Interesting,
it is also not me.
Copy !req
386. Uh, why are you guys
acting so weird?
Copy !req
387. Weird?
Copy !req
388. Would a person who is acting
weird laugh like this?
Copy !req
389. Carefree!
Copy !req
390. Yes.
Jake!
Copy !req
391. Oh, Terry, you ripped
yourself free.
Copy !req
392. Yeah, maybe you should try cuffing
me to a stronger metal next time.
Copy !req
393. Yeah, I don't know the
relative strength of metals.
Copy !req
394. What's going on? Why
does Terry look like an Oscar?
Copy !req
395. Doesn't he?
He has the bracelet.
Copy !req
396. We grabbed Mr. Hootsworth
Copy !req
397. from Cheddar
and swapped it for a fake.
Copy !req
398. Wow, Terry, my betrayals
were all in good fun,
Copy !req
399. but this really hurts.
Copy !req
400. Cheddar, bring me
Mr. Hootsworth.
Copy !req
401. It's an updated model.
Copy !req
402. The bow tie is Turkish blue
instead of Egyptian blue.
Copy !req
403. How could you not
have noticed this?
Copy !req
404. Because he's a dog.
Copy !req
405. And at the end of the day a
dog is no match for Jake Peralta.
Copy !req
406. Well yours is a fake, too.
Turkish blue bow tie.
Copy !req
407. Oh! Come on! The one time I
say out loud I'm smarter than a dog?
Copy !req
408. If I have a fake
and you have a fake,
Copy !req
409. who took the real bracelet?
Copy !req
410. I did.
Kevin?
Copy !req
411. I swapped out Mr. Hootsworth
for a fake
Copy !req
412. while you were
arguing with Peralta.
Copy !req
413. How many cummerbunds are you
holding right now? Zero!
Copy !req
414. It's one bund to none, son!
Copy !req
415. You betrayed me? But why?
Copy !req
416. I can't have more of
these trophies in our home.
Copy !req
417. The cummerbund was
already in the living room.
Copy !req
418. What's next, a rusty medical
bracelet suspended above our bed?
Copy !req
419. Yes! Now hand it over.
Copy !req
420. I don't have it.
I gave it to Amy.
Copy !req
421. Santiago.
Copy !req
422. You betrayed me as well?
You betrayed me first.
Copy !req
423. You were working with Rosa
this whole time.
Copy !req
424. That wasn't real. I was always
gonna stab her in the back.
Copy !req
425. You were? What kind of person
treats another human being like that?
Copy !req
426. You tricked me, Rosa!
Copy !req
427. And then you shipped me
to New Jersey!
Copy !req
428. First of all, grow up.
Copy !req
429. Second of all, how'd you
get back here so fast?
Copy !req
430. If you get a box wet enough,
Copy !req
431. it's very easy
to bust out of it.
Copy !req
432. No one ask
any follow-ups!
Copy !req
433. I knew I couldn't
trust you, Rosa.
Copy !req
434. That's why I was going to
double-cross you with Bill.
Copy !req
435. That's right,
he didn't really die.
Copy !req
436. Hey, guys, you really thought
I'd miss this year's heist?
Copy !req
437. No way, I'm part
of the squad.
Copy !req
438. No.
Not true.
Copy !req
439. Okay, this is officially
getting too hard to track.
Copy !req
440. Who has the bracelet now?
Copy !req
441. Santiago.
Copy !req
442. Yeah. And none of you
are getting it!
Copy !req
443. We'll see about that.
Copy !req
444. What the hell?
Copy !req
445. Remember that very fancy
Swiss pen I got you for Christmas,
Copy !req
446. the one that you keep in
your pocket at all times?
Copy !req
447. It's a taser, bro.
Copy !req
448. I'll take that. Amy,
do not make me tase you again.
Copy !req
449. No, no, don't!
I'm pregnant!
Copy !req
450. What?
I just found out.
Copy !req
451. It's a girl.
Oh, my God!
Copy !req
452. Oh, my God, it's happening!
Copy !req
453. Quick, someone get a reaction
video of me becoming an uncle.
Copy !req
454. Uh, she's making it up. The
pregnancy scam was my idea.
Copy !req
455. No. No, no, Amy.
Copy !req
456. Wait, is that true? Did you
just lie to me about our baby?
Copy !req
457. Yeah, did you lie to us
about our baby?
Copy !req
458. You tased me!
You tased me first!
Copy !req
459. Enough! Terry's had
enough of this.
Copy !req
460. This was supposed to
be just a fun game,
Copy !req
461. but it's turned you all
into terrible people.
Copy !req
462. Betraying your husband,
putting your friend in the mail.
Copy !req
463. Jake and Amy, did you guys
buy each other any gifts
Copy !req
464. this year
that weren't tasers?
Copy !req
465. No.
No.
Copy !req
466. You all pretended
that this was all about
Copy !req
467. helping me with my test.
But none of you cared one bit!
Copy !req
468. You know what?
Copy !req
469. You all suck!
Copy !req
470. Oh no,
my voice command. Terry, look out!
Copy !req
471. Okay. I know
that was bad,
Copy !req
472. but let's not jump to any
conclusions about whose fault it was.
Copy !req
473. Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta
Copy !req
474. This was all his clever plan
Copy !req
475. Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta
Copy !req
476. Wow, what a fun
improvised song.
Copy !req
477. This was all his clever plan
Copy !req
478. His eyes aren't focusing
Copy !req
479. and he hasn't referred to himself
in the third person in minutes.
Copy !req
480. He's clearly concussed.
Copy !req
481. Guys, this is bad.
Copy !req
482. The Lieutenant's exam
is in 30 minutes.
Copy !req
483. Okay, look,
let's just get him to One Police Plaza
Copy !req
484. and hopefully he'll
wake up on the way.
Copy !req
485. Charles,
help me pick him up. Copy that.
Copy !req
486. He's too heavy.
We can't do this.
Copy !req
487. God! How does he lift weights
and also lift his arms?
Copy !req
488. This is impossible.
We'll never get him there.
Copy !req
489. So you guys need
help moving a body?
Copy !req
490. Thank God old Bill's
part of the squad.
Copy !req
491. I mean, assuming
Copy !req
492. I am part of the squad.
Copy !req
493. Yes, sure.
Totally.
Copy !req
494. Oh, yes, finally.
I have somewhere to live.
Copy !req
495. What?
Meet me in the alley
Copy !req
496. next to my shopping cart.
It's the one with all the cans.
Copy !req
497. Seems like his plan is just to
put Terry in the shopping cart.
Copy !req
498. Correct. We'll take it.
Copy !req
499. Room 410 is this way!
Copy !req
500. Okay, we got him here with
one minute to spare.
Copy !req
501. Yes! I knew we could make it.
All right, Sarge.
Copy !req
502. You ready to go in there
and ace this thing?
Copy !req
503. Yeah, I can't believe it,
I'm gonna be a pilot!
Copy !req
504. Okay, well, that's not great.
Copy !req
505. There's no way he can
take the test in that condition.
Copy !req
506. You're right. Amy,
Copy !req
507. you're going to have to crawl
inside his shirt and operate
Copy !req
508. his arms for him.
It's a Ratatouille situation.
Copy !req
509. On it.
No. It's over.
Copy !req
510. We have to go in there and tell
them that he won't be making it.
Copy !req
511. So that's it then.
Copy !req
512. Rosa, you should
probably go in first
Copy !req
513. since this is mostly
your fault.
Copy !req
514. Dude. All right,
fine, I'll do it, jeez.
Copy !req
515. Wait. Where is everyone?
Where are all the desks?
Copy !req
516. What is happening?
What's happening is...
Copy !req
517. You all suck!
Copy !req
518. You all are losers,
you all are losers
Copy !req
519. And Terry Jeffords
is the best
Copy !req
520. You are all losers,
you are all losers
Copy !req
521. Terry Jeffords is the best
Copy !req
522. Son of a bitch stole my song.
Copy !req
523. Wait, Terry has the bracelet?
That's right.
Copy !req
524. Me and my teammate Terry won.
Copy !req
525. We fooled you all.
Copy !req
526. You didn't do
Okay, well,
Copy !req
527. neither did Jordan's teammates,
but they still got rings.
Copy !req
528. All right, fine.
Just tell us how you did it.
Copy !req
529. Well, first, for my plan
to work, it had to happen
Copy !req
530. on a day when
I could control everything.
Copy !req
531. I couldn't let it
be Halloween.
Copy !req
532. You faked the gas explosion!
Copy !req
533. Yeah, stupid actors
almost blew it.
Copy !req
534. What was with
that moaning, Trent?
Copy !req
535. I thought you studied at
the Lee Strasberg Institute!
Copy !req
536. It doesn't mean anything.
They just take your money.
Copy !req
537. Oh, that is a huge relief.
Copy !req
538. I felt so bad about poking that
guy's wound to make sure it was real.
Copy !req
539. You should still
feel bad about that.
Copy !req
540. No, it was all fake.
I'm totally absolved.
Copy !req
541. Continue with
your story, Sarge.
Copy !req
542. I knew you'd suggest
a heist
Copy !req
543. as a distraction from
my Lieutenant exam,
Copy !req
544. then all I had to do
was sit back
Copy !req
545. and watch as everyone
took things way too far.
Copy !req
546. But how'd you know
we'd get so out of hand?
Copy !req
547. I spent the last six months
sowing the seeds of conflict.
Copy !req
548. Man, I am so sick of
Jake saying he is the only
Copy !req
549. two-time Halloween
heist winner.
Copy !req
550. I'm the only two-time
Halloween heist winner.
Copy !req
551. I can't believe everyone says you're
not helpful during the Halloween heist.
Copy !req
552. Just because they all think
your fingers are too big.
Copy !req
553. We'll show them.
Copy !req
554. Thanks for inviting
me over for dinner.
Copy !req
555. Boy, that's hung in a real
prominent place, isn't it?
Copy !req
556. Not for long.
Copy !req
557. I was manipulated?
Copy !req
558. Sorry, Kevin.
Don't apologize to him, Terry.
Copy !req
559. It's his first heist. He
needs to learn. Keep going.
Copy !req
560. Well, after I got
everyone acting like maniacs,
Copy !req
561. all I had to do was make you
feel bad by "knocking myself out."
Copy !req
562. The banner.
Copy !req
563. But how did you learn
my voice command?
Copy !req
564. I didn't have to.
Copy !req
565. I sold you the damn thing!
Copy !req
566. No.
Copy !req
567. I want it to unfurl when I say,
"You all suck."
Copy !req
568. Absolutely.
Copy !req
569. Pleasure doing
business with you.
Copy !req
570. The pleasure was all mine.
Copy !req
571. That's gonna work.
Copy !req
572. I spent $1,800
on that thing!
Copy !req
573. You did?
Amy, stop interrupting.
Copy !req
574. Terry's doing his big speech.
Copy !req
575. Anyway,
once my fake concussion was on display,
Copy !req
576. I created
the perfect distraction
Copy !req
577. for my partner
to do his job.
Copy !req
578. Cheddar, you
duplicitous bitch.
Copy !req
579. I've been training
Cheddar for months.
Copy !req
580. Wow, what a fun
improvised song.
Copy !req
581. When I swapped the Hootsworths,
Copy !req
582. I put a magnetic
collar on him!
Copy !req
583. From there,
Cheddar followed us
Copy !req
584. all the way to
One Police Plaza,
Copy !req
585. where he hand-delivered the
bracelet to me right outside this room.
Copy !req
586. But, wait, what about
the Lieutenant's exam?
Copy !req
587. Aren't you supposed to
be taking it right now?
Copy !req
588. Hell no, I took that thing
weeks ago.
Copy !req
589. And I passed!
I'm already a lieutenant!
Copy !req
590. You are?
That's incredible!
Copy !req
591. Lieutenant Jeffords!
This is amazing.
Copy !req
592. I'm so proud
of you, Terry.
Copy !req
593. All right. You've
overstepped now, Bill.
Copy !req
594. Yeah, it's weird
you're here, Bill.
Copy !req
595. To Terry Jeffords,
the ultimate human being slash genius.
Copy !req
596. Nice work, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
597. Yeah!
Thanks, squad!
Copy !req
598. Also the next heist
will be at Halloween,
Copy !req
599. so you'll only be champion
for six months.
Copy !req
600. This is half a win at best.
Copy !req
601. Sounds about
right, yeah.
Copy !req
602. Yeah.
Pretty garbage.
Copy !req
603. Hey, Scully, so you
and Earl made up?
Copy !req
604. Yup. Hitchcock
helped us realize
Copy !req
605. we shouldn't fight just
because we're so different.
Copy !req
606. Yeah. To our differences!
Copy !req
607. Oh, dang it!
Copy !req
608. Ooh!
Copy !req
609. Double dang it.
Copy !req
610. What?
Oh, my God.
Copy !req
611. Terry, what you did
today was awesome
Copy !req
612. and I just wanted to say
Copy !req
613. I'm sorry if I took
things too far.
Copy !req
614. Are you kidding me? I was just
guilting you as a tactic.
Copy !req
615. I love how crazy
the heist gets.
Copy !req
616. Okay, good, because what I
really wanted to say is,
Copy !req
617. next heist I'm gonna drown
you in your own blood.
Copy !req
618. Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm
gonna rip your arms off
Copy !req
619. and beat you
to death with 'em.
Copy !req
620. Ooh! I'm going to slice
your Achilles tendons,
Copy !req
621. peel off your fingernails,
Copy !req
622. and stick knitting needles
in your eyes.
Copy !req
623. Oh, damn.
Oh, damn.
Copy !req
624. Raymond, you were right.
These heists are fun.
Copy !req