1. So I told Nikolaj, "Who cares
if you're bad at skateboarding?Copy !req
2. "When you grow up,
nobody thinks skateboarders are cool."Copy !req
3. What's cool is hemming
your own pants.Copy !req
4. Mmm-hmm. Sure.
Jake, you seem distracted.Copy !req
5. You're agreeing
with everything I say.Copy !req
6. We should go on a
month-long couples' vacation.Copy !req
7. You, Amy, me, and my dad.
Yeah, yeah, fine, whatever.Copy !req
8. And we should get
matching hats that say,Copy !req
9. "Best Bud 1 " and "Best Bud
2." And wear them all the time!Copy !req
10. For sure. Look, Charles,
don't look behind you,Copy !req
11. but I think
we're being followed.Copy !req
12. I saw this guy when we
were leaving the precinct,Copy !req
13. then he was in line at lunch,
and now he's right behind us.Copy !req
14. Is it someone
you arrested?Copy !req
15. I don't recognize him,
but judging by the head-to-toe denim,Copy !req
16. I say he's either not
American or deeply American.Copy !req
17. I'm thinking Ukraine
or Kentucky.Copy !req
18. Well, should
we call it in?Copy !req
19. No. I've got a better idea.Copy !req
20. Hi there. Who are you,
and why are you following me?Copy !req
21. I'm not following you.Copy !req
22. I come for Charles Boyle.Copy !req
23. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
24. Hands where we can see them. Chill out,
bro! It's not gun. It's a toy.Copy !req
25. No shoot, pretty please.Copy !req
26. It's gift for Nikolaj.Copy !req
27. Nikolaj? How do you know
Charles' son?Copy !req
28. My name is Gintars.
From Latvia.Copy !req
29. I am Nikolaj birth father.Copy !req
30. Oh...Copy !req
31. Nikolaj's birth father who I'd
never hoped to meet. Very cool.Copy !req
32. Cool, cool, cool,Copy !req
33. cool, cool, cool...Copy !req
34. Charles, are you okay?
You hit your head pretty hard.Copy !req
35. No, I'm fine. I don't have a
concussion. We'll see about that.Copy !req
36. How many musical numbers
are there in the movie Zootopia?Copy !req
37. Oh. Just the one.
Yeah, he's okay.Copy !req
38. I don't know what's going
on. How did you find me?Copy !req
39. The orphanage isn't supposed
to give out that information.Copy !req
40. You know Dragomir,
Nikolaj brother?Copy !req
41. He tell me all about you.Copy !req
42. Of course. You're Dragomir's father,
too.Copy !req
43. No, Dragomir is my brother.Copy !req
44. Dragomir and I have same
father but different mother.Copy !req
45. Her name Anyuta.Copy !req
46. Together, we have baby.
That baby's Nikolaj.Copy !req
47. Dragomir is brother
of Nikolaj.Copy !req
48. I am brother of Dragomir.
Also stepfather.Copy !req
49. We are contemporary
blended family.Copy !req
50. Would make very good TV show.Copy !req
51. Honestly, that does sound
very interesting and good.Copy !req
52. Anyways, I was too young
and poor to have child,Copy !req
53. but now, I'm very
successful businessman.Copy !req
54. I have my own
clothing line.Copy !req
55. Maybe you've heard of it.
The Gape.Copy !req
56. We also have Baby
Gape and the Gape Body.Copy !req
57. You mean the Gap?
No, no, Gape.Copy !req
58. Like, there are two things
and there's a space between.Copy !req
59. Yeah, like, a gap. Like, the Gap.
The company that already exists.Copy !req
60. I don't know what you're
saying. I never heard of it.Copy !req
61. But is it a knock-off of Gape?Copy !req
62. Do they sell clothing?
So what? You have money now,Copy !req
63. and you're just
gonna take Nikolaj back?Copy !req
64. No, no, I don't want
to take boy from you.Copy !req
65. I just want to meet him
one time.Copy !req
66. Look, I know it's lot to ask, but,
please. Nikolaj is my sex result.Copy !req
67. Yeah? Well, I walk your sex
result to school every morning.Copy !req
68. No, don't use his words.Copy !req
69. I help your sex result with his
homework. This is bad, even for you.Copy !req
70. I sing your sex result
a lullaby every night.Copy !req
71. I wanna do something...Copy !req
72. You will never meet my son.Copy !req
73. Oh, yeah? Well, then I don't
leave America until I meet the boy.Copy !req
74. And I come from white
country. I have very long visa.Copy !req
75. Very long.Copy !req
76. So I'm positive the murder
happened inside this apartment,Copy !req
77. but CSI could find
no traces of blood.Copy !req
78. I'd like to ask the FBI to
bring in a team of lab techs.Copy !req
79. This would require
Commissioner Kelly signing off.Copy !req
80. Before I make that ask,
is there anything else we can do?Copy !req
81. Um, I'm pretty
sure there is.Copy !req
82. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I am now.Copy !req
83. We need Yee!Copy !req
84. Who?Copy !req
85. Isn't that that guy that led
that seminar where you guysCopy !req
86. turned Boyle into a mummy,
and then you pushed him down the stairs?Copy !req
87. Whoa.Copy !req
88. Rosa. Easy. No one
pushed Boyle down the stairs.Copy !req
89. Right. We may have
plastered his eyes shutCopy !req
90. and left him to wander
around blindly,Copy !req
91. but he fell down
on his own.Copy !req
92. It was a classic accident.Copy !req
93. Exactly. Anyway, Dr. YeeCopy !req
94. is a genius in the field
of forensic entomology.Copy !req
95. They call him
"Father Fly."Copy !req
96. How cool is that?
Zero percent.Copy !req
97. How are insects gonna help us?Copy !req
98. There weren't any in
or around the body.Copy !req
99. Oh, my God.Copy !req
100. You still think forensic
entomology is all blow fliesCopy !req
101. and screw worms,
don't you?Copy !req
102. That's a good one, Santiago. You
should take the Lieutenant's exam.Copy !req
103. Hey.
Dr. Yee has recentlyCopy !req
104. bred a species of flyCopy !req
105. that has increased sensitivities
to certain human proteins.Copy !req
106. They can
detect trace amounts of blood,Copy !req
107. even if it's been
cleaned with bleach.Copy !req
108. Or masked with
animal urine.Copy !req
109. I was building
to that.Copy !req
110. Thanks for stealing my thunder.
This is nasty.Copy !req
111. Terry hates bugs.
Too many eyes and legs.Copy !req
112. Would you still hate bugs
if I told you that there wereCopy !req
113. thousands of tiny mites
that live in your eyebrowsCopy !req
114. and that keep them from being
weighed down by oils?Copy !req
115. Yes!
Look, I really thinkCopy !req
116. we should go with
the feds on this.Copy !req
117. No, we're bringing in Yee.
I'll make the call right now.Copy !req
118. Oh. Can I listen
on speaker? Mmm.Copy !req
119. Oh, my God. It's gonna
be a long couple of days.Copy !req
120. You're telling me. I got
bugs in my brows, Rosa.Copy !req
121. Hey. So what's your
plan with Gintars?Copy !req
122. He's kind of taking over
the whole waiting area.Copy !req
123. No, don't worry about me. I'm
watching Mad About You on Latvian Hulu.Copy !req
124. It's very funny show.Copy !req
125. Very many episodes.Copy !req
126. I could sit here all day.Copy !req
127. I don't know what to do.
He's never gonna leave.Copy !req
128. But I'm scared for Nikolaj
to get to know him.Copy !req
129. Okay, how about this? Gintars
just wants to see him, right?Copy !req
130. We can maybe
have them meetCopy !req
131. without telling Nikolaj that
Gintars is his birth father.Copy !req
132. Just say he's an old
friend of ours.Copy !req
133. Jake, you're completely
forgetting about the olfactory bond.Copy !req
134. Nikolaj will immediately
recognize his father's scent.Copy !req
135. Well, you got
to do something,Copy !req
136. and I don't think you're
gonna wait this guy out.Copy !req
137. Paul and Jamie
are locked in the bathroom.Copy !req
138. But Jamie has
a turkey in the oven.Copy !req
139. This is a very good setup.Copy !req
140. And they pay it off.
It's so good.Copy !req
141. Okay, Jake, let's give
your plan a shot.Copy !req
142. Okay, Gintars,
remember the deal is,Copy !req
143. you cannot tell Nikolaj
you're his father.Copy !req
144. Who Gintars?
I'm Billy Hanukkah.Copy !req
145. I'm from the Bronx,
Manhattan.Copy !req
146. I eat pizza
at Famous Ray's.Copy !req
147. Okay, well, no need to get too
specific or offer up any backstory.Copy !req
148. Hey,
guys. I'm just coming from workCopy !req
149. with my friend Billy
Hanukkah. Hanukkah.Copy !req
150. It's fine. Kids don't know
which names are weird.Copy !req
151. Nikolaj,
say hi to Jake and this stranger.Copy !req
152. Hi, Jake. I love you. Nice to meet you,
Mr. Hanukkah.Copy !req
153. I love you, too. Man,
he really is a Boyle, isn't he?Copy !req
154. Hello,
my little friend.Copy !req
155. Did you have good
day at school?Copy !req
156. We had computer
class today.Copy !req
157. I am your real father! My
name is Gintars. You are my son.Copy !req
158. What? Well. That
backfired real quick.Copy !req
159. Daddy,
why is the man saying he's my father?Copy !req
160. Mr. Hanukkah's crazy.Copy !req
161. He has no children
of his own,Copy !req
162. and it's driven
him mad.Copy !req
163. I'm your father,
Nikolaj.Copy !req
164. It's pronounced
Nikolaj.Copy !req
165. Nikolaj.
Nikolaj.Copy !req
166. Nikolaj.
Nikolaj.Copy !req
167. Nikolaj.
Nikolaj.Copy !req
168. Nikolaj.
Nikolaj.Copy !req
169. It's okay.
You say it wrong.Copy !req
170. Okay, well, that was fun.Copy !req
171. Hey, why don't you go play over there,
buddy?Copy !req
172. You can take this
drug store receipt.Copy !req
173. It's very long and filled with coupons.
You can fly it around like a kite.Copy !req
174. Whee!Copy !req
175. Wow, kids are really basic.
Is being a dad super easy?Copy !req
176. What the hell was that? You
promised you wouldn't tell him.Copy !req
177. So sorry. I smelled my boy. I
don't know what came over me.Copy !req
178. Please. I'm in town
for 10 more days.Copy !req
179. Let Nikolaj know I exist.
Let me spend time with him.Copy !req
180. I could take him to Russian
bathhouse. Has he been?Copy !req
181. No! I'm not some weirdo that takes
my eight-year-old to the Russian bath!Copy !req
182. We take our baths at home
together as a family like normal people!Copy !req
183. Not sure you have the upper
hand on that storm-off, Boyle.Copy !req
184. He's here! Dr. Yee's
on his way up.Copy !req
185. How's my breath?Copy !req
186. Perfect.
Yee's gonna love it.Copy !req
187. This is not a good
color on you guys.Copy !req
188. Speaking of bad
looks, Sarge,Copy !req
189. what is going on with
your eyebrows, man?Copy !req
190. I shaved them off.
'Cause of the bugs.Copy !req
191. Sharon said you
couldn't notice.Copy !req
192. Sharon lied,
Terry. You look like a straight-up fool.Copy !req
193. Damn, Rosa.
No, Diaz is right.Copy !req
194. Your face is horrifying.Copy !req
195. You should leave before...Copy !req
196. Hello, Dr. Yee!Copy !req
197. Out back now.Copy !req
198. Captain Holt,
nice to see you again.Copy !req
199. Please, call me Raymond.Copy !req
200. Unless that feels weird.
You don't have to.Copy !req
201. I'll answer to anything.
Raymond works.Copy !req
202. So I understand you have
a potential crime scene,Copy !req
203. and you'd like
to find some blood.Copy !req
204. Well, I've brought
along several hundredCopy !req
205. of my best detectives
to help out.Copy !req
206. Oh, my God. I'm starstruck.
We all are.Copy !req
207. So what made you think
of using drosophilaCopy !req
208. as a method of searching
for blood traces?Copy !req
209. Have you ever read
Sung Tz'u's textbookCopy !req
210. The Washing Away of
Wrongs from 1235? Nope.Copy !req
211. Yes.
Which edition?Copy !req
212. It tells the story of the first
known use of forensic entomology.Copy !req
213. A farmer was
slashed to death.Copy !req
214. A local judge asked everyone in
the town to lay down their sickles.Copy !req
215. And though they all appeared clean,
one attracted a horde of flies.Copy !req
216. The insects could
sense the blood,Copy !req
217. even though it was invisible
to the human eye.Copy !req
218. Wow, what an arresting story.
Yes, they did arrest him.Copy !req
219. Oh, my!Copy !req
220. We made
a joke together.Copy !req
221. Okay, Dr. Yee,
how effective is your box of bugs?Copy !req
222. Well, in a lab,
they've detected bloodCopy !req
223. even when it's been
cleaned with bleach.Copy !req
224. Or covered
with animal urine!Copy !req
225. You two really
know your stuff.Copy !req
226. I know that sound.Copy !req
227. That's the moaning of a man
who left his lunch on the bus.Copy !req
228. I didn't lose my lunch,
you idiot. I lost my son!Copy !req
229. Okay, Scully,
I got this.Copy !req
230. Hey there, bud. I got you
your favorite tea, duck broth.Copy !req
231. Thanks.
You know me so well.Copy !req
232. But I'm too sad
to drink duck broth.Copy !req
233. Wow, I never thought I'd
hear you or anyone say that.Copy !req
234. Nikolaj is asking if
Gintars is really his dad.Copy !req
235. I've worked so hard to have
him think of me as his father.Copy !req
236. And now it's all ruined.
He'll probably go backCopy !req
237. to calling me what he did
when I first adopted him,Copy !req
238. Mr. America.Copy !req
239. I know you're upset,
but that is a dope nickname.Copy !req
240. I'm not Mr. America.
I'm Daddy.Copy !req
241. Of course, you are.Copy !req
242. I just don't want Nikolaj
to see him again.Copy !req
243. I don't want him
turning into a Gintars.Copy !req
244. You have nothing
to worry about.Copy !req
245. Nikolaj is already
a mini Charles.Copy !req
246. He's an eight-year-old
boy whose favorite movieCopy !req
247. is Bullets Over Broadway.Copy !req
248. So what are you saying? I should
let him spend time with Gintars?Copy !req
249. I just worry that if you prevent
him from knowing his birth father,Copy !req
250. that he'll build up
some fantasy of himCopy !req
251. and then blame you
for keeping them apart.Copy !req
252. That's crazy.Copy !req
253. The way that King Triton kept
Ariel from exploring the surface.Copy !req
254. Oh, my God, you're right.Copy !req
255. I'm driving Nikolaj into
the arms of a sea witch.Copy !req
256. Watching
him work is amazing.Copy !req
257. Mmm-hmm.
I have to get video.Copy !req
258. Santiago, please.Copy !req
259. Hold the phone horizontal
to get more flies in frame.Copy !req
260. All right, guys,
this fanboy stuff is a little much.Copy !req
261. The only thing that's a
little much around hereCopy !req
262. are your scrawled-on
eyebrows. Yeesh.Copy !req
263. Seriously?
I thought they worked.Copy !req
264. They do, if you wanna look
like a mean drag queen.Copy !req
265. I knew I should have done a
flatter arch. This is a nighttime look.Copy !req
266. Well, the flies
are not reacting.Copy !req
267. I can keep going,
but I'll tell you now,Copy !req
268. it's very unlikely there are
any traces of blood in here.Copy !req
269. Well, according
to my timeline,Copy !req
270. this is the only place the
murder could have happened.Copy !req
271. Sorry, Rosa, looks
like your timeline's wrong.Copy !req
272. Because the flies
don't lie.Copy !req
273. You can use that
if you want.Copy !req
274. He's not gonna use
a cheeky slogan.Copy !req
275. He's a man of science.
I like it.Copy !req
276. The flies don't lie.Copy !req
277. Okay, Dr. Yee, exactly how
accurate is this technology?Copy !req
278. Diaz, how dare you
question the man.Copy !req
279. Dr. Yee has spent millions of dollars
developing and researching these flies.Copy !req
280. It's fine. Would you all
like to see what happensCopy !req
281. when they actually
sense blood? Yeah.Copy !req
282. Mmm-hmm.
Will you hold this, Ally?Copy !req
283. Wow.
I'm sorry, Detective Diaz,Copy !req
284. I know it's upsetting when
a hunch doesn't pan out.Copy !req
285. Well, it's over.
The flies have it.Copy !req
286. Keep your eyes
on the flies.Copy !req
287. Flies don't lie.
Now, that's a good one.Copy !req
288. No, that was Santiago's.
Damn it.Copy !req
289. Wow,
this was a bad idea.Copy !req
290. Relax. He gets one
afternoon with Nikolaj,Copy !req
291. and he chooses basketball?Copy !req
292. Does Nikolaj even like
basketball?Copy !req
293. He loves the Get Your Head In The
Game number from High School Musical.Copy !req
294. I haven't seen it,
but I know that's not the same.Copy !req
295. Look at them. Does it seem
like he's actually enjoying this?Copy !req
296. Charles, can I tell
you a story?Copy !req
297. Always.
All right.Copy !req
298. When I was 10,
my dad started dating this woman, Leeza.Copy !req
299. My mom hated her.Copy !req
300. But Dad wanted us to bond,Copy !req
301. so one day, he took me and
Leeza to the mall and dropped us off.Copy !req
302. She proceeds to steal a ton
of blouses from Ann TaylorCopy !req
303. and then immediately
makes me go back inCopy !req
304. and exchange them
for store credit.Copy !req
305. Then to celebrate,
I get to pull Leeza's Cinnabon apartCopy !req
306. because her nails are too long
and curly to do it herself.Copy !req
307. Point being, nothing has ever
made me love my own motherCopy !req
308. more than the time
I spent with Leeza.Copy !req
309. Gintars is Leeza.
You are my mom.Copy !req
310. I can't believe I get to be
Karen. What an honor!Copy !req
311. Daddy, Daddy.
Yes, sweetie?Copy !req
312. Can we leave?
Oh, no, so soon?Copy !req
313. But I understand. We
can go home right now.Copy !req
314. No, not home. Daddy Gintars wants
to buy me a jean jacket just like his.Copy !req
315. Daddy Gintars.Copy !req
316. Daddy Gintars.Copy !req
317. Oh, no.Copy !req
318. I am Leeza.Copy !req
319. Wait. No. That's not right.Copy !req
320. Hey, bud. Everything
going okay in here?Copy !req
321. I know you're going
through something,Copy !req
322. but people are starting to
complain about the moaning.Copy !req
323. I would give anything to have
Gintars gone and out of Nikolaj's life.Copy !req
324. But it's not gonna happen.Copy !req
325. Okay, well, I'm just gonna
close the door, then.Copy !req
326. And you can feel free to
moan as much as you need.Copy !req
327. This is bad. I know.
He's been like that all day.Copy !req
328. No, I was talking
about your eyebrows.Copy !req
329. Whatever's going on up
there is real, real bad.Copy !req
330. Well, it's better than having
two bug hotels above your eyes.Copy !req
331. But wouldn't they
also be in your goatee?Copy !req
332. Don't do this
to me, Jake.Copy !req
333. Wait a minute.Copy !req
334. I may have just thought of
a way to get rid of Gintars.Copy !req
335. Do you still have that friend who
works in the counterfeiting taskforce?Copy !req
336. Yeah, why?Copy !req
337. Gintars has this terrible knock-off
clothing brand called the Gape.Copy !req
338. If I can get him to admit on tape
that he's selling counterfeit goods,Copy !req
339. they would terminate
his visa and deport him.Copy !req
340. Deport him? Doesn't
that seem a little extreme?Copy !req
341. Yeah, definitely, but Charles
just said he'd give anythingCopy !req
342. for Gintars to be gone.Copy !req
343. He's not doing great,
Terry. Okay.Copy !req
344. But how are you gonna get
Gintars on tape?Copy !req
345. Good question,
Sergeant Crazy Brows.Copy !req
346. Gintars is always talking
about the Russian baths.Copy !req
347. I'll see if he'll meet
me thereCopy !req
348. and then ask him to cut
me in on his business.Copy !req
349. Meanwhile, I'll have a mic
hidden underneath my towel.Copy !req
350. It's foolproof.Copy !req
351. Before we do deal,
we take off towel. Get full naked.Copy !req
352. Ah.Copy !req
353. What are you waiting for?Copy !req
354. I want to see where
your hair starts and stops.Copy !req
355. Gintars.Copy !req
356. Take it off now.Copy !req
357. Hey, Sarge.
Holy crap!Copy !req
358. What the hell is that?Copy !req
359. That is a bug-free
zone is what it is.Copy !req
360. I bleached it. I'm smarter
than they are, Rosa.Copy !req
361. Uh-huh. What about
your nose hair?Copy !req
362. Oh,
man. Terry forgot about his nose.Copy !req
363. Hey, why is Yee
still here?Copy !req
364. Holt wants him to hand in
his case report in person.Copy !req
365. I think he's trying to trick him
into going to lunch with him.Copy !req
366. Wait. It's noon?Copy !req
367. If I didn't know better,
I'd say that was lunchtime.Copy !req
368. I hope they take that container
of bugs with them when they go.Copy !req
369. Wait. The container's here?
I have an idea.Copy !req
370. All I need is some blood.Copy !req
371. This is fresh.
Oh. Terrible, yet perfect.Copy !req
372. Stupid bugs
didn't do anything.Copy !req
373. He lied to us, Sarge.Copy !req
374. Huh?Copy !req
375. Why is your
towel still on?Copy !req
376. This is business
conversation.Copy !req
377. You cannot trust a man who
cannot show you his full self.Copy !req
378. Well, not in America.Copy !req
379. Here we have business
meetings fully clothed.Copy !req
380. Sometimes even
in a suit and tie.Copy !req
381. Have you ever seen
the show Shark Tank?Copy !req
382. Latvian Shark Tank
is all nude.Copy !req
383. That sounds
weirdly sexy.Copy !req
384. No, not at all.Copy !req
385. There's no female sharks,Copy !req
386. so it's just four Mr. Wonderfuls
naked on a big leather couch.Copy !req
387. Oh. Not what
I imagined.Copy !req
388. Hey, listen.Copy !req
389. I would love to buy some
of that knock-off denim.Copy !req
390. Okay, first of all,
it's not knock-off.Copy !req
391. Okay, Gape is true,
authentic brand.Copy !req
392. The real thief is Gap.Copy !req
393. Are they?
What makes more sense?Copy !req
394. That they take Gape
and remove letter?Copy !req
395. Or that I take Gap
and add pricey "E"?Copy !req
396. I don't care if it's fake,
I just wanna buy some.Copy !req
397. It's not fake,
you are still wearing a towel,Copy !req
398. and this deal, over.Copy !req
399. Wait. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
400. Do you wanna know why
I won't take off my towel?Copy !req
401. It's because I'm embarrassed
about what's underneath.Copy !req
402. Mutilated penis?
Yep.Copy !req
403. That is it. You guessed
it on the first try.Copy !req
404. That's what's under
there. The old...Copy !req
405. Mute peen. I am so
sorry about your penis.Copy !req
406. It's a bummer.Copy !req
407. But we all have things
that bring us shame.Copy !req
408. Remember when I told you before
that Gape was original, authentic brand?Copy !req
409. I do. It was just now.
Yeah, well...Copy !req
410. I stole the whole
thing from Gap.Copy !req
411. And here I was completely believing
you when you told me you didn't.Copy !req
412. Wow! Well, thank you
for sharing that with me.Copy !req
413. You are freak.
But I support you.Copy !req
414. Come.
Oh, no, it's a naked hug.Copy !req
415. Hey, what's up? You guys
having a little coffee? That's cool.Copy !req
416. Yee's a fraud.
What?Copy !req
417. Excuse me? Those nasty-ass
bugs don't smell blood.Copy !req
418. And they must not smell bull crap,
either, 'cause he's spewing it everywhere.Copy !req
419. What are you saying
out of your weird face?Copy !req
420. We put the flies near fresh
blood, and nothing happened.Copy !req
421. They didn't react at all.Copy !req
422. Do you know how stupid
these accusations sound?Copy !req
423. Diaz, you're fired.
What?Copy !req
424. Dr. Yee is one of the most respected
forensic experts in the country.Copy !req
425. For you two, let's not mince words,
common fools,Copy !req
426. to suggest that you found
the flaw in this brilliant man's...Copy !req
427. They're right.
What?Copy !req
428. Huh?
The flies don't sense blood.Copy !req
429. They're just regular flies.Copy !req
430. But, Dr. Yee,
you can't be a fraud.Copy !req
431. You gave a TED Talk.Copy !req
432. I spent $6 million in federal
grant money on this experimentCopy !req
433. and I've gotten nowhere.Copy !req
434. The closest I ever came was when
they all landed on a Popsicle once.Copy !req
435. But in the apartment
we saw them reactCopy !req
436. to a cotton swab
dipped in blood.Copy !req
437. It was melted Popsicle.Copy !req
438. Jam works, too,
but it's more expensive.Copy !req
439. So, sir, you were saying something
about us being common fools?Copy !req
440. So who looks
stupid now?Copy !req
441. Uh, Terry, your left
eyebrow is missing.Copy !req
442. Oh. I must have
rubbed it off.Copy !req
443. There it is.Copy !req
444. Who looks stupid now?Copy !req
445. Jake, hey,
I got it, man.Copy !req
446. Nice jeans,
and the good thing is,Copy !req
447. look, both legs,
same length.Copy !req
448. Thank you very much.Copy !req
449. And I see it's
100% denim-ish.Copy !req
450. "Caution. Do not wear near women
who are pregnant or breastfeeding."Copy !req
451. This is true.
The nipple may fall off.Copy !req
452. Hey, guys.Copy !req
453. Gintars said to meet him here.
I didn't realize you were coming.Copy !req
454. My man,
I'ma wrestle you. Come here.Copy !req
455. Charles, what are you doing
here? Why is Nikolaj here?Copy !req
456. He's been so happy
since he met Gintars.Copy !req
457. I've been focusing
on myselfCopy !req
458. and not really
thinking about Nikolaj.Copy !req
459. I didn't realize how much it meant to
him to know he hadn't been abandoned.Copy !req
460. I'm okay with them
having a relationship.Copy !req
461. Wow, that is so
great of you, Charles,Copy !req
462. but I really wish you'd included
me in your decision-making process.Copy !req
463. Why?
No reason.Copy !req
464. I just maybe went in a different,
less mature direction.Copy !req
465. Hey, maybe we should leave
this area, like, right now.Copy !req
466. Where is he going?
Hey, man.Copy !req
467. Gintars Irbe, you're under
arrest for selling counterfeit goods.Copy !req
468. Jake! You set me up. Do you
even have mutilated penis?Copy !req
469. No.Copy !req
470. It's perfect.Copy !req
471. Okay. So they're taking
Gintars to the airportCopy !req
472. and they're not
hurting himCopy !req
473. any more than they already
did when he was resisting arrest.Copy !req
474. Now they won't let him go
just because I asked them toCopy !req
475. even though they arrested him
just because I asked them to.Copy !req
476. It's a crazy system.
I don't understand it.Copy !req
477. But here's what
I'm thinking.Copy !req
478. I call the State Department...
You've done enough, Jake.Copy !req
479. That's nice of you to say,
but... My tone wasn't nice.Copy !req
480. But your tone is
always nice with me.Copy !req
481. Wait a minute.
Are you mad?Copy !req
482. Yes, because you butted into
a situation you shouldn't have.Copy !req
483. You need to keep
your butt in your pants.Copy !req
484. My butt was only out because
you said you wanted Gintars gone.Copy !req
485. Well, thanks to your butt,Copy !req
486. Nikolaj feels like he's been
abandoned all over again.Copy !req
487. Okay, but my butt was the one that
got them together in the first place.Copy !req
488. I don't feel like my butt
is getting credit for that.Copy !req
489. Well, that's because your
butt was inappropriate then, too.Copy !req
490. Your butt should have
never been a part of this.Copy !req
491. So now I gotta go clean up the
big nasty mess that your butt made.Copy !req
492. But my butt no but...Copy !req
493. My butt no but!Copy !req
494. Diaz, Jeffords, Santiago would like
to apologize to you for her behavior.Copy !req
495. I thought we were
both apologizing.Copy !req
496. I misunderstood. What
would I be apologizing for?Copy !req
497. The same thing as me?
Really?Copy !req
498. You guys maybe want to have
this conversation on your own?Copy !req
499. Yes.Copy !req
500. Okay, we have come
to a decisionCopy !req
501. that we would
both like to apologize.Copy !req
502. We should have trusted your
instincts over Dr. Yee and his flies.Copy !req
503. And? And we shouldn't
have been so insulting.Copy !req
504. And?Copy !req
505. I'm not gonna apologize for your
face. That mess is clearly on you.Copy !req
506. Fair enough.
I'll ask Commissioner KellyCopy !req
507. to approve your initial
request for an FBI lab team.Copy !req
508. That won't be necessary.
I solved the case.Copy !req
509. And the flies actually
came in handy.Copy !req
510. These have been genetically
engineered to detect blood,Copy !req
511. and there's a whole
swarm of themCopy !req
512. at your apartment right now
with Dr. Ronald Yee.Copy !req
513. The flies don't lie.Copy !req
514. He confessed immediately.
How about that.Copy !req
515. Dr. Yee and his flies
saved the day after all.Copy !req
516. No, I did.Copy !req
517. Should we call Yee
and tell him the good news?Copy !req
518. It would probably make
him feel so much better.Copy !req
519. What is going on?
He did seem so sad.Copy !req
520. So sad. He should
be sad. He's a fraud.Copy !req
521. Shh. It's ringing.Copy !req
522. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
523. Did you make it to the
airport in time to see Gintars?Copy !req
524. Yes, but TSA wouldn't
let him stay in the country.Copy !req
525. At least Nikolaj got to
spend a few hoursCopy !req
526. with his birth father
at a Chili's Too.Copy !req
527. Chili's as well.Copy !req
528. Listen, I feel bad,
and I wanted to do somethingCopy !req
529. but I know you didn't want my help,
so long story short,Copy !req
530. I made us these hats.Copy !req
531. I obviously love them.Copy !req
532. They don't change
how I'm feeling.Copy !req
533. Okay.Copy !req
534. Well, I'm sorry that
I messed things up.Copy !req
535. But I was just trying
to be a good friend.Copy !req
536. I know, but that doesn't
always mean fixing my life.Copy !req
537. You shouldn't have done
anything without asking me.Copy !req
538. Sometimes I just
want you to listen.Copy !req
539. Right. I hear that.Copy !req
540. It's just...Copy !req
541. Adoption is complicated.Copy !req
542. No matter how much I want to be,
I'm not Nikolaj's real father.Copy !req
543. Come on, Charles.
Of course you are.Copy !req
544. Well, that'll be
up to him.Copy !req
545. And he may even change his
mind about it throughout his life.Copy !req
546. I mean, all I can do
is make him feel safeCopy !req
547. and give him as much
love as I can.Copy !req
548. Well, I think Nikolaj
is very lucky to have you.Copy !req
549. Nikolaj.Copy !req
550. Okay.Copy !req
551. Let's take these hats out for a
spin. I've waited long enough.Copy !req
552. Here you go.
Best Bud 1.Copy !req
553. You'd rather be
Best Bud 2?Copy !req
554. I just want you to listen a little more.
I don't wanna change our whole dynamic.Copy !req
555. Okay, good, 'cause I really
wanted to be Best Bud 1.Copy !req
556. I know you did. Clink.
Clink.Copy !req
557. They're way too small.
They're tight.Copy !req
558. They're way too small.
Hurt.
They don't fit.Copy !req