1. Pigeon's still here?
Yeah.Copy !req
2. No matter what we do,
he just won't leave.Copy !req
3. The problem is you're
thinking like detectives.Copy !req
4. No, I'm definitely not.
When you shouldCopy !req
5. be thinking like a bird.Copy !req
6. This is Operation:
Saving Private Pigeon.Copy !req
7. On my mark, I will
turn on this fan,Copy !req
8. gently startling our bird
due east,Copy !req
9. into the file box canyon,
where he willCopy !req
10. encounter Charles holding
two pot lids.Copy !req
11. He'll bang them together,Copy !req
12. forcing Private Pigeon
into the ceiling thereCopy !req
13. and out of the ceiling there,Copy !req
14. where he will be greeted
by scary RosaCopy !req
15. holding a scary picture
of an owl.Copy !req
16. Now he's playing our game.Copy !req
17. He'll veer left,
into an upside down garbage canCopy !req
18. propped up by a hockey stickCopy !req
19. and connected to a string
that Gina is holding.Copy !req
20. She pulls it, he is trapped,Copy !req
21. and Terry releases him
outside.Copy !req
22. Terry hates birds.
Okay, little friend.Copy !req
23. Let's get you home
to mama.Copy !req
24. Oh, God. It flew
right into the fan!Copy !req
25. It's everywhere!
There's pigeon everywhere!Copy !req
26. Hey, Boyle.
Hey, Jake.Copy !req
27. Wait, what?
Hey, Jake.Copy !req
28. Ahh! Bill, what are
you doing here?Copy !req
29. I thought we agreed to meet only
once a year for the Halloween Heist.Copy !req
30. I'm here to deliver your
quarterly NutriBoom shipment.Copy !req
31. It comes with both
the amino acid reducerCopy !req
32. and extra amino acid,
so you get the perfect balance.Copy !req
33. What? No. I only signed up
as a one-time payment bribe.Copy !req
34. I'm not selling NutriBoom.
It's clearly a pyramid scheme.Copy !req
35. First off, it's not
a pyramid scheme.Copy !req
36. It's a conical-tiered multi-flow-through
medical marketing entity.Copy !req
37. And secondly,
you signed the contract.Copy !req
38. "Permission to charge
my card quarterlyCopy !req
39. "for the next 85 years."Copy !req
40. This is written in
white ink on white paper.Copy !req
41. They do it that way
so you can't read it.Copy !req
42. Well, I did read it and
I'm canceling the contract.Copy !req
43. Canceling?
If it was that easyCopy !req
44. to get out, would I be here
scamming my closest friends?Copy !req
45. We're your closest friends?Copy !req
46. What... Whatever,
I'm not accepting the shipment.Copy !req
47. Jake, piece of advice,
just give up.Copy !req
48. It's the Boyle way.
It's why our family crestCopy !req
49. is a white flag. That reminds me,
Charles,Copy !req
50. your shipment's downstairs.
Great.Copy !req
51. I'll help you bring it up.
Charles, no.Copy !req
52. We're gonna go down to that
office and fight this thing.Copy !req
53. I need that money
for my honeymoon.Copy !req
54. Oh, my God.
The honeymoon is on the line?Copy !req
55. And your money.
Eh.Copy !req
56. Okay, great.
Whatever gets you on board.Copy !req
57. Let's go.
For the honeymoonCopy !req
58. and no other reason.
All right.Copy !req
59. Sergeant Santiago,Copy !req
60. commander of the Nine-Nine's
uniformed officers,Copy !req
61. reporting for duty.
Hey!Copy !req
62. My first order as Sergeant,
tell me I look dope.Copy !req
63. You look dope.
You won't be abusingCopy !req
64. your power like this with the
officers downstairs, will you?Copy !req
65. No! No, of course not.Copy !req
66. I'm just excited
for my first day.Copy !req
67. Yes, I remember my first day
as a sergeant.Copy !req
68. I bet.
My Uncle GeoffreyCopy !req
69. was struck by a subway
and maimed.Copy !req
70. Oh.
But the work aspectCopy !req
71. was quite exciting.Copy !req
72. Are you ready
for your first briefing?Copy !req
73. Yes, I am fully prepared.Copy !req
74. I just wanna establish myself
as a leader right away.Copy !req
75. Just be confident,
deliberate and firm.Copy !req
76. You'll know you
have their respectCopy !req
77. when you can take a moment...Copy !req
78. And still keep
their attention.Copy !req
79. Amazing.
That was captivating as hell.Copy !req
80. My recommendation
would be you start withCopy !req
81. a small, attainable goal,Copy !req
82. something you can
accomplish quickly,Copy !req
83. perfectly and publicly.Copy !req
84. The best way to lead is to
always achieve all your goals.Copy !req
85. Cool. That's not
a ton of pressure.Copy !req
86. Well, it was meant to be.Copy !req
87. Pressure's an important
part of success.Copy !req
88. Just remember, you representCopy !req
89. all Latina policewomen
right now.Copy !req
90. Thanks.Copy !req
91. Hello.
Welcome to NutriServices.Copy !req
92. I'm Angela.
How can I heal you today?Copy !req
93. Hi, Angela.
Creepy greeting.Copy !req
94. So not a big deal,
there was justCopy !req
95. a little bit of a mix-upCopy !req
96. and we need to cancel
our NutriContracts.Copy !req
97. Absolutely.
It happens all the time.Copy !req
98. All you need to do
is sign a few things.Copy !req
99. Ah. See, Charles,
that is why you never give up.Copy !req
100. I'll also need $10,000.
What's that? I'm sorry.Copy !req
101. It's payment
for the last shipment.Copy !req
102. Plus the cancellation fee,
plus the restocking feeCopy !req
103. plus something we call
a coward's charge.Copy !req
104. And that comes to $10,000.Copy !req
105. Congratulations.
Thank you.Copy !req
106. I'll write you a check.
Is gratuity included?Copy !req
107. Charles, no.Copy !req
108. Angela...
Yes? How can ICopy !req
109. heal you today?
Please stop saying that.Copy !req
110. Look, you seem like
a perfectly pleasantCopy !req
111. robot person,
but there's no wayCopy !req
112. we're giving
you any more money.Copy !req
113. Oh. Sorry for
the misunderstanding.Copy !req
114. For the no payment option,
you just need to sign here.Copy !req
115. "Enrollment in NutriCore"?Copy !req
116. It's our charity organization.Copy !req
117. "Pay off your contracts
in labor hoursCopy !req
118. "under the teachings of
founder Docter David Stovelman."Copy !req
119. "Docter" is spelled with an E?Copy !req
120. It's the British spelling
That can't be right.Copy !req
121. All right, look. I didn't
wanna have to do this,Copy !req
122. but we're in the NYPD.Copy !req
123. And if you don't cooperate,
we'll have no choiceCopy !req
124. but to file a report
against the company.Copy !req
125. You signed a contract,
and that is binding.Copy !req
126. No one gets special treatment,
Officer.Copy !req
127. Not even Jay.
Who?Copy !req
128. Jay Chandrasekhar,
their celebrity spokesman.Copy !req
129. Oh, no way.
The guy from Super Troopers?Copy !req
130. Yep. He was also
in Beerfest.Copy !req
131. Now I have to get
back to work,Copy !req
132. but allow me to introduce you
to our complaint specialist.Copy !req
133. This is Phil. He's been
assigned to intimidate you.Copy !req
134. Congratulations.
Thank you!Copy !req
135. Charles, stop thanking her.Copy !req
136. Hello, squad.
I am Sergeant Amy SantiagoCopy !req
137. and I'm your new
commanding officer.Copy !req
138. I have big plans for us,
but it's always bestCopy !req
139. to start with something small
and do it perfectly.Copy !req
140. So...Copy !req
141. Sergeant, I know what
we should start with.Copy !req
142. Oh, I'm sorry, Officer...
Jennings. Gary Jennings.Copy !req
143. Officer Jennings,
I already have a plan.Copy !req
144. Okay, well, you just paused,
so I thoughtCopy !req
145. you were looking
for suggestions,Copy !req
146. which I have a lot of.
Nope.Copy !req
147. Not why I paused.Copy !req
148. Anyway, our first order
of business will beCopy !req
149. updating the filing system,
so...Copy !req
150. We should use barcodes.
No, no, no, no.Copy !req
151. No need to jump in.Copy !req
152. I already have
a system in mind.Copy !req
153. Okay, well you just
keep stopping,Copy !req
154. so I thought...
Ah... To pour water.Copy !req
155. Because I'm thirsty.
Got it. Great.Copy !req
156. Now, let's get into
the details of this with...Copy !req
157. Oh, my God! What, Gary?Copy !req
158. You're spilling
water everywhere.Copy !req
159. Yes, I am.Copy !req
160. Because our first order
of businessCopy !req
161. is cleaning this floor.Copy !req
162. Charles! Charles, come here.Copy !req
163. I figured out how
to get our money back.Copy !req
164. I knew you'd save
our honeymoon.Copy !req
165. My honeymoon.
Whatever.Copy !req
166. Yeah, all right,
so NutriBoomCopy !req
167. is a massive
financial scam, right?Copy !req
168. If we can prove that, we could
take down the whole company.Copy !req
169. Oh, I don't know. Are you
sure you wanna take them on?Copy !req
170. They're pretty scary.
I mean, no one's seenCopy !req
171. the CEO's wife in years.Copy !req
172. People think
she's been murdered.Copy !req
173. That's just a rumor.
All right, here's the plan,Copy !req
174. we infiltrate
their headquartersCopy !req
175. and get their
financial records.Copy !req
176. But how do we get in, you ask?Copy !req
177. By attending today's meeting
of President's ClubCopy !req
178. Admiral Level NutriMastersCopy !req
179. at the NutriTower Life Base.
I don't know,Copy !req
180. they know we're cops,
we can't just walk in.Copy !req
181. Correct.
We can't walk right in,Copy !req
182. but we know someone
who's a high-levelCopy !req
183. NutriBoom distributor who can.Copy !req
184. And he look exactly like you.Copy !req
185. Hey, guys.
I don't know.Copy !req
186. You really think
it'll work?Copy !req
187. Charles,
it has to.Copy !req
188. It's for our honeymoon.Copy !req
189. You said "our."Copy !req
190. Okay, the meetingCopy !req
191. at NutriBoom HQ
starts in two hours.Copy !req
192. Charles, you're going as BillCopy !req
193. and I'm going as one of
your NutriCruits.Copy !req
194. Bill, did you bring
those things I asked for?Copy !req
195. Yep, all of my belongings
that you'll needCopy !req
196. are in this suitcase.Copy !req
197. Why is it vibrating?
Is your cell phone in here?Copy !req
198. No.
I'm sureCopy !req
199. it's not a sex toy.Copy !req
200. All right, these people
really know Bill,Copy !req
201. so you're gonna have to
become him.Copy !req
202. I can't believe
I'm about to say this,Copy !req
203. but Bill, tell us all
about yourself.Copy !req
204. Let's start with
my whole family history.Copy !req
205. I was abandoned
at a playground as an infant.Copy !req
206. And here I am.Copy !req
207. Oh. That was the whole thing.Copy !req
208. Well, sad. But easier than
remembering a bunch of names.Copy !req
209. Okay, tell us more.Copy !req
210. Now, here's a list of all
the nicknames I go by.Copy !req
211. Big Bill, Big Eric, Big Drew,
Big Dave, Super Thick...Copy !req
212. Just write them
all down for us.Copy !req
213. And that's why the number
of belly buttons I have is...Copy !req
214. Two.
One.Copy !req
215. Zero.
Ahh.Copy !req
216. Hello.Copy !req
217. Hello.Copy !req
218. Hello.Copy !req
219. Hello.
Hello.Copy !req
220. That's it.
Okay, now let's workCopy !req
221. on your wink.Copy !req
222. Almost. Now think,Copy !req
223. only you and I know
our naughty little secret.Copy !req
224. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
225. Okay, I think Boyle's ready.Copy !req
226. That's a no-go, amigo.Copy !req
227. If you really wanna
pass as me,Copy !req
228. you're gonna need to learn
my patentedCopy !req
229. neck massage technique.Copy !req
230. I think I've learned enough.
Yeah, I don'tCopy !req
231. really see that coming up.Copy !req
232. Thanks for your help, Bill.Copy !req
233. So how did your
first briefing go, Sergeant?Copy !req
234. Did you give the squad
a simple goal?Copy !req
235. Mmm-hmm. Revamping
the filing system.Copy !req
236. Mmm, smart.
Sounds very easy.Copy !req
237. Mmm.
I assume it's beenCopy !req
238. a success?
Oh...Copy !req
239. Yes. It's beenCopy !req
240. all types of successes.Copy !req
241. Rousing, resounding,Copy !req
242. smashing.Copy !req
243. Oh, it's good to hear.
Remember, failureCopy !req
244. is for failures.Copy !req
245. Good thing
I'm not a failure.Copy !req
246. Guys, I lied. My briefing
was a total failure.Copy !req
247. But you told Captain Holt
it went greatCopy !req
248. in such a normal way.Copy !req
249. I'm a terrible manager.Copy !req
250. I've got this super eager
know-it-all on my squadCopy !req
251. who keeps derailing me
with all his ideasCopy !req
252. and I can't get
anything done.Copy !req
253. Aw, you got an Amy.Copy !req
254. Oh, she's got an Amy.
It's pretty normal.Copy !req
255. Yeah, she got one
of her, right?Copy !req
256. Like a pet. Takes one
to know one,Copy !req
257. I guess.
No, he is not an Amy.Copy !req
258. I am nothing like Gary.Copy !req
259. Uhh, first of all,
Gary and AmyCopy !req
260. are the exact same name.
Let me ask you this,Copy !req
261. did he already send you
nine follow-up emailsCopy !req
262. about the briefing?
No.Copy !req
263. It was 30.
You got an Amy.Copy !req
264. Guys, I think I would know
if my Gary was an Amy.Copy !req
265. Hey,
Gary. What you reading? The new issueCopy !req
266. of Stationary Monthly.Copy !req
267. Yeah, I have an Amy.Copy !req
268. Bill. Is that you?Copy !req
269. Yes, it's me, Bill. Hello.Copy !req
270. You seem different.
Nope.Copy !req
271. I'm still the same old
Bill HummertroutCopy !req
272. who grew up in Bean Station,
Tennessee and shaves his armpits.Copy !req
273. Anyway, meet the new recruit
I signed up.Copy !req
274. New NutriCruit?
Boom, boom!Copy !req
275. Boom, boom. My name
is Barry St. Barry.Copy !req
276. And I can't wait to get inside
and unlock my NutriFuture.Copy !req
277. Let me in. Let me in!
Let me in!Copy !req
278. I love your energy.
Boom, boom!Copy !req
279. I love your energy.
Boom, boom!Copy !req
280. Okay, get up there.Copy !req
281. Man, everybody here
is so creepy.Copy !req
282. Yeah. Is that
Hitchcock and Scully?Copy !req
283. Boom, boom, Bill!
Boom, boom!Copy !req
284. Yeah, that tracks.Copy !req
285. All right,
let's get a move on.Copy !req
286. The longer I stay here,
the more horrified I get.Copy !req
287. I know. Have you seen
all these postersCopy !req
288. of David Stovelman's
wife, Debby?Copy !req
289. "I'm happy healthy
and alive."Copy !req
290. Oh, Debbie dead.
Debbie real dead.Copy !req
291. All right, Bill said that
the officesCopy !req
292. are behind
that roped-off area.Copy !req
293. We're gonna
need a distraction.Copy !req
294. Well, if I know cults,
this meeting will startCopy !req
295. with an insanely over-the-top
nonsense video.Copy !req
296. Huh.
Hello, Admirals.Copy !req
297. Please turn your eyes
to the monitorsCopy !req
298. for a special hello from
NutriBoom elite, Jay Chandrasekhar.Copy !req
299. Boom, boom, everybody!Copy !req
300. Boom, boom, Jay!Copy !req
301. And there's our distraction.
When I first metCopy !req
302. Docter David Stovelman,Copy !req
303. I had no idea my amino acids
could be so highCopy !req
304. or so low.Copy !req
305. Ugh, guys.Copy !req
306. Gary is killing
my productivity.Copy !req
307. Terry, how did you used
to deal with having an Amy?Copy !req
308. I didn't have to do anything.
You've always been great.Copy !req
309. Cut the crap, Terry.
I'm drowning.Copy !req
310. Fine. When you got
too difficult to deal with,Copy !req
311. I'd pull rank.Copy !req
312. Did that work?
No. Not even once.Copy !req
313. Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
314. Well, you could always
just wait for GaryCopy !req
315. to find his Jake
and then eventually,Copy !req
316. over time, they'll each become
10% easier to deal with.Copy !req
317. Gary will never find love.Copy !req
318. He is unlovable.Copy !req
319. Gina, what do I do?
No, I don't knowCopy !req
320. how to deal with an Amy.Copy !req
321. But there is this girl Wanda
in my Mommy & Me class.Copy !req
322. She's such a pill.
She's so into her babyCopy !req
323. and not into the other babies
and it's like,Copy !req
324. "Oh, cool, well, congrats.Copy !req
325. "Your baby rolled over early."Copy !req
326. Like, who cares?
I don't have timeCopy !req
327. for this, Gina,
And that is howCopy !req
328. you deal with an Amy.Copy !req
329. You talk about something
she's not interested inCopy !req
330. until she walks away.
Oh, brilliant.Copy !req
331. Stupid cult.Copy !req
332. They labeled their financial
records "financial records."Copy !req
333. Dummies.Copy !req
334. Uh-oh, Jake.
We got a NutriBoomerCopy !req
335. approaching at 12:00.Copy !req
336. The file just
started downloading.Copy !req
337. How much time do we have?
I don't know,Copy !req
338. but he's a polka dotter.
Polka Dotter...Copy !req
339. What does that mean? Of
the eight types of walkers?Copy !req
340. Polka dotters, drivers,
arm swingers,Copy !req
341. stompers...
You don't know about this?Copy !req
342. Nobody does, Charles. You clearly
just read some weird blog post.Copy !req
343. is not a weird blog.
It's infotainment.Copy !req
344. Secondly, polka dot walkersCopy !req
345. take short strides
on their toes.Copy !req
346. I don't wanna learn
about polka dotters right now.Copy !req
347. Just get out there and
stall him. But... Gah!Copy !req
348. Hello, bud. Boom, boom.Copy !req
349. Boom, boom. Bill.Copy !req
350. What are you doing back here?Copy !req
351. This floor's closed
on the weekend.Copy !req
352. You know me,
just gotta stretch my legs.Copy !req
353. I'm really sore
from Pilates.Copy !req
354. But NutriBoom doesn't
allow Pilates.Copy !req
355. It's a pseudoscience.Copy !req
356. Right, no. Pilates
is the name of myCopy !req
357. most recent sexual partner.Copy !req
358. Boom, boom!Copy !req
359. Boom, boom.
You seem off, man.Copy !req
360. Your voice is different,
you're not sucking onCopy !req
361. your signature lollipop.
Right.Copy !req
362. I guess I just woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.Copy !req
363. Since when do you
sleep in a bed?Copy !req
364. Why are you being so weird?Copy !req
365. What are you doing back here?Copy !req
366. I know what's going on.Copy !req
367. You're fishing for one of my
patented neck massages, aren't you?Copy !req
368. There's the Bill I know.
Present and accounted for.Copy !req
369. Now turn around
and gimme that neck.Copy !req
370. You're not gonna
do it from the front?Copy !req
371. Well, of course. I mean,
that's how I do it.Copy !req
372. Oh, that's the good stuff.
Boom, boom.Copy !req
373. Boom, boom.Copy !req
374. Hey, where's my eye contact?Copy !req
375. I got the files.Copy !req
376. I told you it would work.Copy !req
377. Wait, what's wrong?
They formed a line, Jake.Copy !req
378. They formed a line.Copy !req
379. Ugh, no evidence of
wrongdoing in any of these files.Copy !req
380. Credit where credit is due,Copy !req
381. NutriBoom is good
at criminal activity.Copy !req
382. Well, they're terrible
at making shakes.Copy !req
383. Right? The only
listed ingredientCopy !req
384. is "foreign substance."
And the flavor is calledCopy !req
385. "Almost Cherry."Copy !req
386. And I can't stop drinking it.Copy !req
387. This is interesting.
There's a major transactionCopy !req
388. on June 10th.
My dad's birthday!Copy !req
389. You really think
that's what I thoughtCopy !req
390. was interesting about it?
I don't know.Copy !req
391. It's a payment for
100 grand to ScepterCore.Copy !req
392. Isn't that one of
those black ops security firmsCopy !req
393. that ex-SEALs worked for?
Yes, it is.Copy !req
394. And on June 10th...
My dad's birthday.Copy !req
395. Are you just trying to get me
to rememberCopy !req
396. your dad's birthday now?
I mean,Copy !req
397. it wouldn't kill you to call. We
don't have time to talk about this.Copy !req
398. Your dad's birthday
is the same dayCopy !req
399. that Debbie Stovelman
went missing last year.Copy !req
400. I bet the payment
is a paper trailCopy !req
401. for the hit Stovelman
took out on his wife.Copy !req
402. This just became
a murder case.Copy !req
403. Maybe, but it's not enough
to open an investigation.Copy !req
404. Right, but it is enough
to make Stovelman nervous.Copy !req
405. We just have to get to him.
Oh, no.Copy !req
406. Do I have to go
as Bill again?Copy !req
407. No, don't worry.
He isn't big enoughCopy !req
408. to earn face time
with the founder.Copy !req
409. We have to take this
to the highest level.Copy !req
410. Jay Chandrasekhar!Copy !req
411. Hey, Gina.
Thanks for nothin'!Copy !req
412. Oh, you're welcome.
I said, for nothin'.Copy !req
413. Your boring story didn't work.Copy !req
414. So my friend Wanda,
she just loves the oceans.Copy !req
415. The Pacific, the Atlantic,
the Indian...Copy !req
416. Ooh, ooh! What is her take
on straits?Copy !req
417. Because I love the Bering.Copy !req
418. We talked about
bodies of water for hours.Copy !req
419. Damn, the Force is strong
with this Amy.Copy !req
420. Look, I wasn't
gonna tell you this,Copy !req
421. but you should just do
what I used to doCopy !req
422. when I needed to escape you.
What did you do?Copy !req
423. Literally escape you.
Always be on the move.Copy !req
424. Never be static.
Like a shark.Copy !req
425. That way he can't
catch your attention.Copy !req
426. That's right!
That is what we did.Copy !req
427. But you all did that?
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
428. Okay, but Rosa,
how did you...Copy !req
429. Rosa? Where did she...Copy !req
430. Damn, you guys are good.Copy !req
431. There he is. How did
you know he'd be at this coffee shop?Copy !req
432. Us Weekly. He's pictured
here all the time.Copy !req
433. He's coming out.
All right, look,Copy !req
434. this guy is into NutriBoom
pretty deep.Copy !req
435. But if we apply
enough pressure,Copy !req
436. we may get him to crack.Copy !req
437. Copy that.Copy !req
438. Hi, excuse me.Copy !req
439. Mr. Chandrasekhar,
we wanted to talk to youCopy !req
440. about NutriBoom.
All right!Copy !req
441. Boom, boom, guys.
Boom, boom!Copy !req
442. We're with the NYPD.
Oh, my God. Seriously?Copy !req
443. You guys have to save me.Copy !req
444. Can you get me out?
What's that now?Copy !req
445. NutriBoom is
a scam and a cult.Copy !req
446. They've ruined my life.
Really?Copy !req
447. You look so happy
in the videos.Copy !req
448. You'd pretend to be happy too
if you knew what they did to me.Copy !req
449. Testicular torture?
Yeah.Copy !req
450. Oh.
Look,Copy !req
451. we have reason to believe David
Stovelman murdered his wife, Debbie.Copy !req
452. Yeah, duh!
All right, Jay.Copy !req
453. Try to remain calm, here.
Sorry.Copy !req
454. I'm just so scarred.
Right,Copy !req
455. from the nard torture.Copy !req
456. Look, we have evidence
that could tie DavidCopy !req
457. to his wife's death,
but we need your helpCopy !req
458. to get to him. Yeah,
I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
459. You have no idea
how terrible they are.Copy !req
460. Trust me, I do.
They took ten grand from me.Copy !req
461. Boo-hoo,
they kidnapped my dog.Copy !req
462. Okay, well, no need
to compare stakes.Copy !req
463. Although I doubt your dog
cost $10,000.Copy !req
464. You can't put
a price on life.Copy !req
465. You're absolutely right.
Thank you so muchCopy !req
466. for your help, sir.Copy !req
467. Sergeant?
Aah!Copy !req
468. I need to
tell you something.Copy !req
469. Great.
Can't wait to hear it.Copy !req
470. First, could you pass
that thing over there?Copy !req
471. Sure, yes.
Oh, what thing? I don't...Copy !req
472. Sergeant?Copy !req
473. Sergeant!
Oh, hey.Copy !req
474. Sergeant?Copy !req
475. Sergeant?Copy !req
476. Okay.Copy !req
477. Let's finally get
these shelves up.Copy !req
478. Goes perfect.Copy !req
479. Oh! Oh, no.Copy !req
480. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
481. I was trying to tell you
not to use that wall.Copy !req
482. It has water damage.Copy !req
483. Noted.Copy !req
484. So Stovelman will pick up Jay
and take him to lunch.Copy !req
485. We trail them, and then
when they get comfortable,Copy !req
486. ambush 'em with the intel
about his wife.Copy !req
487. Wow. I can't believe we're
working a sting operationCopy !req
488. with a celebrity.
I know.Copy !req
489. I feel like we're in
Ocean's Eleven.Copy !req
490. You're such a Clooney.Copy !req
491. Ooh, and I'm Elliot Gould.
Wow.Copy !req
492. Just skipped right over Pitt and Damon,
huh?Copy !req
493. I've been good!
Oh, no!Copy !req
494. Those are NutriCore guys.
They're taking Jay!Copy !req
495. It's not a pick-up.
It's a throw-in.Copy !req
496. Where's Jay?
Hey, Bill.Copy !req
497. Boom, boom!
No boom, boom.Copy !req
498. I am not Bill.
Look, we're with the NYPD.Copy !req
499. We saw two NutriCore thugs
kidnap Jay and bring him here.Copy !req
500. Now where is he?
Bill, you're a cop!Copy !req
501. No, I am not Bill!
If you don't cooperate,Copy !req
502. we'll consider you an
accessory to this crime.Copy !req
503. I don't know what
you mean by crime.Copy !req
504. Jay's just voluntarily
hanging out withCopy !req
505. some nutrition specialists
in the basement.Copy !req
506. You can see for yourself if
you'd like, Bill.Copy !req
507. I will see for myself,
but I am not Bill.Copy !req
508. Good one,
Bill. Get out of here. Gah!Copy !req
509. Jay! Oh, my God.
Boom, boom, guys!Copy !req
510. What? We saw them take you.
Are you okay?Copy !req
511. What are you talking about?Copy !req
512. Oh, the van thing?
Yeah, Jay. The van thing.Copy !req
513. Those are just my friends
from NutriBoom.Copy !req
514. They were worried about
my amino acid levels,Copy !req
515. so they rushed me straight
here to give me moreCopy !req
516. or less of them. Why
are you talking like that?Copy !req
517. What did they do to you?Copy !req
518. Oh,
I see. They gave you back your dog.Copy !req
519. No, they found my dog.Copy !req
520. He was wandering around a park
for a year.Copy !req
521. Come on, man.
Pull it together.Copy !req
522. These people
are evil, remember?Copy !req
523. David Stovelman
murdered his wife.Copy !req
524. You mean me?Copy !req
525. Debbie Stovelman.
Boom, boom.Copy !req
526. She is happy,
healthy and alive.Copy !req
527. Hey, Captain.
Just wanted to sayCopy !req
528. sorry about
the hole in the wall.Copy !req
529. I've already
called maintenance.Copy !req
530. Okay. Anything else?
God, you're good.Copy !req
531. You saw right through me.Copy !req
532. I failed as a manager.
I couldn't dealCopy !req
533. with this overeager officer
who kept pestering me.Copy !req
534. Ohh, you have an...
Amy.Copy !req
535. Yes, I know. We've been
through it a lot today.Copy !req
536. Well, you should've
come to me.Copy !req
537. I know exactly what it's like
to be you.Copy !req
538. You used to be an Amy?Copy !req
539. No, I never had your level
of insecurity.Copy !req
540. I was referring to
managing an Amy.Copy !req
541. Of course.
Well, I'm not sureCopy !req
542. there's anything left to try.Copy !req
543. No matter what I did,Copy !req
544. he just kept interrupting meCopy !req
545. with all his own ideas.Copy !req
546. Were they good ideas?
I don't know.Copy !req
547. I didn't listen to them.Copy !req
548. Damn.Copy !req
549. Did you just solve it
that easily?Copy !req
550. Yes, I did. You see,
managing AmyCopy !req
551. is not a chore,
it's a pleasure.Copy !req
552. Because an Amy is a tool.
I'm a tool?Copy !req
553. Yes, you're a massive tool.Copy !req
554. You're useful and valuable.Copy !req
555. Sure, an Amy can be
intimidating sometimesCopy !req
556. because they have
such strong ideas.Copy !req
557. But you should always listen
to an AmyCopy !req
558. because they will only
make you better.Copy !req
559. At least,
that's my experience.Copy !req
560. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
561. Jay, would you
please excuse us.Copy !req
562. I believe there's
a brand new motorcycleCopy !req
563. with your name
on it upstairs.Copy !req
564. You guys are the best.Copy !req
565. Thanks for bringing
my dog back.Copy !req
566. He looks almost
exactly the same.Copy !req
567. Come on.
Boom, boom, Jake.Copy !req
568. Boom, boom, Charles.
Boom, boom, Jay.Copy !req
569. What's going on here?
I thought you were murdered.Copy !req
570. I was never dead.
Then what wasCopy !req
571. that 100k payment
to ScepterCore for?Copy !req
572. It was to get you
off the grid.Copy !req
573. Because the Feds were
investigating you.Copy !req
574. You can't indict someone
who doesn't exist.Copy !req
575. So you're still working
for NutriBoom?Copy !req
576. Working for?
I am NutriBoom.Copy !req
577. Look, your annoying little
crusade is wasting my time.Copy !req
578. I want you to leave me
and my company alone.Copy !req
579. Not gonna happen.
Now we know you're aliveCopy !req
580. and I bet the Feds
would be interestedCopy !req
581. in knowing that, too. Maybe,
but the fact remains,Copy !req
582. I haven't committed
any crimes,Copy !req
583. that anyone can prove.Copy !req
584. So you can try
your luck with the Feds.Copy !req
585. Or you can get
your money back and go onCopy !req
586. that expensive honeymoon.Copy !req
587. How do you know
about my honeymoon?Copy !req
588. I know everything.
Oh, really?Copy !req
589. Because you don't know about
my big ass moral compass.Copy !req
590. Damn!Copy !req
591. I'm going to the Feds,
and you're going down.Copy !req
592. Also, can you tell us
how to get out of here?Copy !req
593. This place is a real maze.Copy !req
594. Oh, Officer Jennings?Copy !req
595. Can I speak to you
for a minute?Copy !req
596. Of course.
Nothing I like moreCopy !req
597. than one-on-one time
with my boss.Copy !req
598. Wow, it's like
staring in a mirror.Copy !req
599. What?
Nothing.Copy !req
600. Listen, I wanna apologize.Copy !req
601. I ignored your ideas
and that was a mistake.Copy !req
602. Please, tell me
your suggestionsCopy !req
603. for the filing system.
It's actuallyCopy !req
604. five suggestions
and 23 sub suggestions.Copy !req
605. And I...
After the briefing.Copy !req
606. Oh. Copy that.Copy !req
607. All right, listen up, squad.Copy !req
608. We had increased
criminal activityCopy !req
609. in the park last night,
so we'll beCopy !req
610. doubling our patrols
there today.Copy !req
611. After the meeting,
I will be handing out new...Copy !req
612. assignments.Copy !req
613. Oh, my God, I did it.Copy !req
614. The Feds said our intel
could help themCopy !req
615. maybe take down
Stovelman someday,Copy !req
616. but they didn't sound hopeful.
Well, I'm gladCopy !req
617. you did the right thing.
Really?Copy !req
618. Even though it means
we now have no moneyCopy !req
619. for a decent honeymoon?
It's hard not toCopy !req
620. say a really corny thing
right nowCopy !req
621. about how every day's
a honeymoon with you.Copy !req
622. Aww. Although, technically,
you did you just say it.Copy !req
623. Which is very
embarrassing for you.Copy !req
624. Jake, don't freak out.Copy !req
625. There's a really creepy guy
spying on us.Copy !req
626. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
627. That's just Phil
from NutraBoom.Copy !req
628. He'll be intimidating us
from now on.Copy !req
629. There's an evil corporation
hell-bent on destroying us.Copy !req
630. Hi, Phil! Boom, boom!Copy !req
631. Say, "Boom, boom," darling.Copy !req
632. Boom, boom.Copy !req