1. - Attention, squad.Copy !req
2. - Mm, pretty dainty way
to make an announcement.Copy !req
3. - It's a workplace.
I wanted to be respectful.Copy !req
4. - Well, as someone
at a high riskCopy !req
5. For a spook-related death,
thank you.Copy !req
6. - As I was saying,
it's time for round fourCopy !req
7. Of the halloween heist—Copy !req
8. - If I don't make it,
tell gina I love her.Copy !req
9. - What's up, nine-nine?Copy !req
10. Jake peralta here to tell youCopy !req
11. That tonight is the night
for the halloween—Copy !req
12. - Heist.Copy !req
13. Amy already went over this.Copy !req
14. - What?
Ames, what are you doing?Copy !req
15. I always announce the heist.Copy !req
16. - Yeah, amy, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
17. - Exercising my right
to announce the heistCopy !req
18. As the defending champion.Copy !req
19. - Defending champion.Copy !req
20. The only reason you won
is 'causeCopy !req
21. No one knew
you were even playing.Copy !req
22. It was a pathetic act
of pure cowardice.Copy !req
23. - Whoa, she's your girlfriend,
peralta.Copy !req
24. - Not tonight, she isn't.Copy !req
25. Although don't kiss
anyone else.Copy !req
26. I love you so much.Copy !req
27. Now, then, this one's for all—Copy !req
28. Such a dork.
- So cool.Copy !req
29. - Attention, squad.Copy !req
30. Tonight—
- nope.Copy !req
31. - Y'all three really
should have coordinated.Copy !req
32. - What? I really should be
the one to introduce the heist,Copy !req
33. As the last
legitimate champion.Copy !req
34. Peralta hasn't won
since the first year.Copy !req
35. He's a has-been.Copy !req
36. - Yeah, well, this has-been
has been with yo' mama all week.Copy !req
37. Sorry, I feel like I crossed
a line; I apologize.Copy !req
38. - attention, everyone.Copy !req
39. - Enough. We know.
The heist is happening.Copy !req
40. - No!Copy !req
41. My ex-wife just died.Copy !req
42. No more alimony, baby!Copy !req
43. - This year's halloween heist
is a three-way tiebreakerCopy !req
44. To determine
the champion of champions.Copy !req
45. We'll be playing for this:
A plaque that reads,Copy !req
46. "the ultimate
detective/genius."Copy !req
47. - You and santiago
should quit now.Copy !req
48. I'm going to stomp
on your dreams.Copy !req
49. - It's fun to see you
so passionate.Copy !req
50. - I will slit you both open
from mouth to anusCopy !req
51. And wear you like jackets.Copy !req
52. - Wow. Is it weird that
that turned me on a little bit?Copy !req
53. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
54. But let's move on.Copy !req
55. The plaque will be held
in this.Copy !req
56. - Is that my childhood caboodle?Copy !req
57. - It most certainly is,
but don't worry.Copy !req
58. I removed the scrunchies,
old report cards,Copy !req
59. And photos
of young al gore.Copy !req
60. I'm better-looking
than him anyway.Copy !req
61. - We're talking a young al gore?Copy !req
62. Peralta, you do make me laugh.Copy !req
63. - Okay, stings
a little bit.Copy !req
64. It will be secured
with this brand-new lock.Copy !req
65. Hitchcock, if you would do
the honors.Copy !req
66. There you are.Copy !req
67. - You can have that back
in three—Copy !req
68. - Nope, don't ever need it back.Copy !req
69. Now, then, locking the caboodle.Copy !req
70. - The "ca-boo-dale"
will be placedCopy !req
71. In the center
of the bullpen.Copy !req
72. - Right, and what is the name
of the store at the mallCopy !req
73. That sells the sticky pastries?Copy !req
74. - You mean the "see-nay-bone"?Copy !req
75. - Yeah, that was it. Thanks.
Continue.Copy !req
76. - Whoever possesses the plaque
at sunup wins.Copy !req
77. Now let's pick teams.Copy !req
78. - I've got a ton of work.Copy !req
79. You can just leave me out
this year.Copy !req
80. - Interesting. Interesting.
- Oh, terry, terry, terry.Copy !req
81. - What?Copy !req
82. - How naive do you think we are?Copy !req
83. You're "not participating"
so you canCopy !req
84. Sneak under our noses
and steal a victory,Copy !req
85. Like santiago did last year.Copy !req
86. - I'm going to my desk.Copy !req
87. Heists are dumb.Copy !req
88. - If you have nothing to hide,Copy !req
89. Then I'm sure
you won't mind me askingCopy !req
90. Hitchcock and scully
to keep an eye on you.Copy !req
91. - Whatever.Copy !req
92. - My eyes will be glued
to that ass.Copy !req
93. - Great! It's now time to choose
from the remaining players.Copy !req
94. Amy, since you're last year's
champion, you go first.Copy !req
95. - I choose rosa.
- Dope.Copy !req
96. - I select charles boyle.Copy !req
97. - What?Copy !req
98. - What's the matter, peralta?Copy !req
99. Were you expecting to have
detective boyle on your team?Copy !req
100. Have I thrown a wrench
into your plans?Copy !req
101. - Absolutely not.Copy !req
102. I'm just surprised,
because you haveCopy !req
103. Such a strong connection
with gina.Copy !req
104. But I'm glad she's on my team.Copy !req
105. I had absolutely nothing
planned for charles.Copy !req
106. I totally planned everything
for charles.Copy !req
107. This is a nightmare!
- Ew!Copy !req
108. What can charles boyle do
that I can't?Copy !req
109. - Roller-skate like an angel.Copy !req
110. - Whore, I'm great on skates.Copy !req
111. Or are you forgetting
jenn sutton'sCopy !req
112. Fourth grade birthday party?Copy !req
113. - I have definitely
forgotten that.Copy !req
114. - Well, I skated like a pro,
and then I spentCopy !req
115. Seven minutes in heaven
with the todd cohen.Copy !req
116. It was dope.Copy !req
117. My point is,
I can do anything charles can.Copy !req
118. - Except look exactly like
the body double I got for him.Copy !req
119. Bill, you can
come out now.Copy !req
120. - Hi.Copy !req
121. - Okay, yeah,
this pasty white guyCopy !req
122. Is gonna be a problem.Copy !req
123. - So I believe the key
to good teamworkCopy !req
124. Is an equal exchange
of ideas—Copy !req
125. - Stop.
I know you already have a plan.Copy !req
126. And I want to win,
so for the next eight hours,Copy !req
127. I'm down with all
your nerdy crap.Copy !req
128. Come on, amy.Copy !req
129. Show me the binder.Copy !req
130. - Okay, but it's not a binder.Copy !req
131. It's a virtual binder,Copy !req
132. And it's encrypted
on this flash drive.Copy !req
133. - That's my girl.Copy !req
134. Now, where's the 3-d model
of the precinct?Copy !req
135. - Inside the key chain.Copy !req
136. It's a frickin' hologram.Copy !req
137. - Yes.Copy !req
138. - I'm so excited, captain.Copy !req
139. So... How are we gonna do it?Copy !req
140. - Here's everything
you need to know.Copy !req
141. - It's blank.
- It's a metaphor.Copy !req
142. You get nothing.
You lose.Copy !req
143. Good day, sir.Copy !req
144. - But we're teammates.Copy !req
145. You chose me.Copy !req
146. - You're too close
with peralta.Copy !req
147. I don't trust you.Copy !req
148. I only chose you
to disrupt his plans.Copy !req
149. And now that you've served
your purpose,Copy !req
150. You're no longer needed.Copy !req
151. I feel so used.Copy !req
152. Am I just a piece
of meat to you?Copy !req
153. - Yes.Copy !req
154. Now, put on a smile, pork chop.Copy !req
155. - So what are you planning
for the heist?Copy !req
156. - The only thing I'm planning
is getting my work done.Copy !req
157. - Sure, you are.Copy !req
158. Come clean,Copy !req
159. Or we'll tell everybody
about your mistress.Copy !req
160. - I don't have a mistress.Copy !req
161. - You don't?Copy !req
162. But you're so good-looking.Copy !req
163. What's the point?Copy !req
164. - As expected, all eyes
are on the caboodle.Copy !req
165. It's go time.
Now, gina.Copy !req
166. - Whoopsie!Copy !req
167. Bill, but you got
to stand like me.Copy !req
168. I'm kind of like
a young brando,Copy !req
169. So give it that energy.Copy !req
170. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
171. You're doing the best you canCopy !req
172. With the tools that you have.Copy !req
173. - Looks like nobody's onto us.Copy !req
174. Go, gina!Copy !req
175. So, bill,
do you have a real job or...Copy !req
176. - I'm the third
in a lot of marriages.Copy !req
177. I got a nice soft face,Copy !req
178. So I don't intimidate
the husbands.Copy !req
179. - Hmm, strange,
the random person I hiredCopy !req
180. Off the streets of brooklyn
is a weirdo.Copy !req
181. - What?
- Hmm? Nothing.Copy !req
182. There she goes.Copy !req
183. Now, bill, the key here
is that I came in before workCopy !req
184. And replaced the door handlesCopy !req
185. With ones that lock
from the outside.Copy !req
186. pretty smart.Copy !req
187. All right, bill.
The time is now.Copy !req
188. Show your face.Copy !req
189. Show your face to the world!Copy !req
190. - What the hell? Amy!Copy !req
191. - Pick your jaws up
off the floor, ladies.Copy !req
192. - Where did gina come from?Copy !req
193. - And here comes jake!
Whoo!Copy !req
194. Welcome to the big show.Copy !req
195. I was gonna sneak the plaque out
without anybody knowing,Copy !req
196. But then I thought...Copy !req
197. So much more fun
to make you watch.Copy !req
198. Now enjoyCopy !req
199. As I steal
the plaque of destiny.Copy !req
200. Ah, trying to pick the lock,
el capitán?Copy !req
201. That'll take
at least three minutes,Copy !req
202. By which time I will have
hidden this plaqueCopy !req
203. Somewhere you will never
find it.Copy !req
204. Voilà.Copy !req
205. Of course, you could break
the window,Copy !req
206. But you would never knowinglyCopy !req
207. Destroy government property,
would you?Copy !req
208. Whoop!
Well, misread that one.Copy !req
209. Gina, skate!
Skate like the wind!Copy !req
210. - Aah!
- So long, suckers!Copy !req
211. - Oh! Gina, are you okay?Copy !req
212. - it's cool.Copy !req
213. I'm fine.Copy !req
214. Ain't no thang.Copy !req
215. - Totally, girl!
You look good!Copy !req
216. - oh, it hurts so bad.Copy !req
217. I hope to god
I'm not humbled by this.Copy !req
218. - I'm so sorry, gina.Copy !req
219. It should have been charles
on those skates.Copy !req
220. - This is why you should
always roller-skateCopy !req
221. With a helmet
and a mouth guard.Copy !req
222. - Hey, don't blame the victim.Copy !req
223. - I'm just so sickCopy !req
224. Of roller skating's
dangerous image.Copy !req
225. We're not all bad boys.Copy !req
226. - Yeah, none.Copy !req
227. All right, gina,
get your stuff.Copy !req
228. I'm taking you to the dentist.Copy !req
229. - No, no, no, no.Copy !req
230. I'll go alone.Copy !req
231. I don't need anyone's help.Copy !req
232. Just order me an uberselect
or better.Copy !req
233. - And despite our natural desire
to stop everything,Copy !req
234. You'd like us
to soldier on in your absenceCopy !req
235. And keep the heist going?Copy !req
236. - Yeah, that's fine.Copy !req
237. - Well, you heard the lady.
She insists we continue.Copy !req
238. Let's mop up this blood
and get back at it.Copy !req
239. - With all due respect, sir,Copy !req
240. I don't think
that's the best idea.Copy !req
241. The blood is dry.
We can just clean it up after.Copy !req
242. - Oh, agreed.Copy !req
243. - Ah, I love tonight.Copy !req
244. However, there is the small
issue of me losing my partner.Copy !req
245. Now, terry,
I know that you were upsetCopy !req
246. That no one picked you earlier.Copy !req
247. - Not what happened.Copy !req
248. - Regardless,
please be my partner,Copy !req
249. Please, please, please,
please, please, please.Copy !req
250. - No! Heists are dumb,
and I have work to do.Copy !req
251. - You're dumb,
and I have... Heist to do.Copy !req
252. overreacted. Damn it!Copy !req
253. You know what?
Forget terry.Copy !req
254. At the time
of the accident,Copy !req
255. My team had the plaque,
so I will just grab itCopy !req
256. And give myself
a four-minute head start.Copy !req
257. - Not so fast, peralta.Copy !req
258. I say we reset the plaque
and start over.Copy !req
259. - What?
But my team had it.Copy !req
260. Charles, tell him.Copy !req
261. - No, jake.Copy !req
262. We're resetting.Copy !req
263. - Charles,
what are you saying?Copy !req
264. - The plaque...Copy !req
265. Goes...Copy !req
266. Back!Copy !req
267. - Yes, pork chop.
Yes.Copy !req
268. - I have eyes on kristy,
stacey, and claudia.Copy !req
269. - You used their code names.Copy !req
270. You read the plans,
addenda and all!Copy !req
271. - Damn right, I did.
I told you, I'm all in.Copy !req
272. - And you didn't make fun of me
for basing it allCopy !req
273. On "the baby-sitters club."Copy !req
274. - And I even did
your suggested readingCopy !req
275. Of "kristy's big day."Copy !req
276. - You did?Copy !req
277. - Calm down.Copy !req
278. You're such a mary anne.Copy !req
279. - I am! It's true!Copy !req
280. - So, boyle, I was impressedCopy !req
281. With how you stood up to peralta
and demanded a reset.Copy !req
282. - Ha!
I'm team holt all the way, baby.Copy !req
283. Also, I'm pretty upset
with himCopy !req
284. For letting gina
sweat up my skates.Copy !req
285. - Well, perhaps I can
use a teammate after all.Copy !req
286. Do you swear I can trust you?Copy !req
287. - Yes.Copy !req
288. I swear.Copy !req
289. - Let's unleash hell.Copy !req
290. - Thanks for coming back, bill.Copy !req
291. I really needed a teammate.Copy !req
292. - Hey, man, you're paying.Copy !req
293. - Yeah.Copy !req
294. You can take the wig off
if you want.Copy !req
295. - Whatever you want, man.
You're paying.Copy !req
296. - Could you stop
saying that, bill?Copy !req
297. It's making me
a little uncomfortable.Copy !req
298. - All right, man.
It's your money.Copy !req
299. - That's the same thing.Copy !req
300. - What is this?Copy !req
301. - It's a jack-o'-lantern.
Don't touch it.Copy !req
302. - Why not? Because you're
hiding something in there?Copy !req
303. - Because my daughters made itCopy !req
304. And your palms are all black.Copy !req
305. What have you been touching?Copy !req
306. - Huh!
Well, this has got me stumped.Copy !req
307. - I got a pizza here
for raymond holt.Copy !req
308. - Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.Copy !req
309. Holt hates pizza.Copy !req
310. He's trying to distract us.Copy !req
311. - Oh, if I were trying
to distract you,Copy !req
312. I would have sent you the pizza.Copy !req
313. This is your doing,
you and your male prostitute.Copy !req
314. - Bill is not
a male prostitute,Copy !req
315. I don't think.Copy !req
316. - I have a pizza here
for raymond holt.Copy !req
317. - What's going on?Copy !req
318. I have a pizza here
for raymond holt.Copy !req
319. - Which one of you bozos
did this?Copy !req
320. - Us?Copy !req
321. You know how much
planning it takesCopy !req
322. To get this many pizza guys here
at the same time?Copy !req
323. A binder full of planning.Copy !req
324. This has amy written
all over it.Copy !req
325. - If I had done this, it would
say "captain raymond holt."Copy !req
326. I'm not going
to disrespect you, sir,Copy !req
327. Even for the sake of the heist.Copy !req
328. - I'll guard the plaque!Copy !req
329. - You're not leaving my sight.Copy !req
330. - Bill, can you see
what's going on?Copy !req
331. Do you have eyes
on charles and rosa?Copy !req
332. - I don't know who anybody is.Copy !req
333. - There's too much pizza!Copy !req
334. - I see holt. I see charles.
Where's terry?Copy !req
335. - Terry's leaving,
because terry's got work to do.Copy !req
336. - Hitchcock! Scully!Copy !req
337. Follow terry!
On it!Copy !req
338. - Aah! I'm getting
bounced around like a pinball!Copy !req
339. - This is madness!
- Who hired you?Copy !req
340. Who do you work for,
pizza man?Copy !req
341. - Everyone with a pizza,
get out of here!Copy !req
342. the caboodle!
- The caboodle!Copy !req
343. - The "ca-boo-dale"!Copy !req
344. - I know one of you
took the plaque.Copy !req
345. And I swear on my living
mother's future grave,Copy !req
346. I'm not gonna let you
get away with it.Copy !req
347. - Or it was you, jake.
You love pizza.Copy !req
348. - It's true.Copy !req
349. You had it for breakfast
this morning.Copy !req
350. - When pizza's on a bagel,
you can eat pizza anytime!Copy !req
351. - Well, it certainly wasn't
boyle and me.Copy !req
352. We were out here
the whole time.Copy !req
353. - Plus, we already ate.Copy !req
354. Autumn salads
with farm-fresh squash.Copy !req
355. That's right,
I'm catering for our team.Copy !req
356. - Look who I found hiding
in the interrogation room:Copy !req
357. This guilty son of a bitch.Copy !req
358. - Still your sergeant.Copy !req
359. Look, I wasn't hiding.
I was doing my work.Copy !req
360. Hitchcock and scully
were with me.Copy !req
361. - Were they,
or perhaps were they distractedCopy !req
362. By your brilliant
pizza ruse?Copy !req
363. - Totally distracted.
I ate two whole pies.Copy !req
364. Folded 'em up like tacos.Copy !req
365. - You're suspect number one,
jeffords.Copy !req
366. - Whatever.
- "whatever."Copy !req
367. Spoken like a common criminal.Copy !req
368. - Still a long time
till sunup.Copy !req
369. All I have to say is,Copy !req
370. Whoever took that plaque,Copy !req
371. You better watch out.Copy !req
372. Come on, rosa.Copy !req
373. - Come on, boyle.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
374. - Come on...Copy !req
375. Bill.Copy !req
376. - Okay, was the operation
a success?Copy !req
377. - You tell me.Copy !req
378. - Blended right in
with the pizza guys.Copy !req
379. Got out my bolt cutters.Copy !req
380. Lock snapped on the first try.Copy !req
381. No one saw me leave.Copy !req
382. Got to hand it to you...Copy !req
383. Beautiful plan.Copy !req
384. - Beautiful execution.Copy !req
385. - It's kind of like we're
our own baby-sitters club.Copy !req
386. - Oh, my god, I don't want
tonight to ever end.Copy !req
387. Did you by chance
read the excerptCopy !req
388. From "the truth about stacey"?Copy !req
389. The one about
the rival baby-sitters...Copy !req
390. - That get caught
smoking cigarettes?Copy !req
391. Well, let's just say
that these two baby-sittersCopy !req
392. Aren't getting caught
with squat.Copy !req
393. This is where I stash
a few cigarettesCopy !req
394. On the rare occasion
that I need a puff.Copy !req
395. - Dope.Copy !req
396. The hiding place,
not the smoking.Copy !req
397. Mary anne is better than that.Copy !req
398. - She's a work in progress.Copy !req
399. - This is so frustrating.Copy !req
400. There's no way of knowing
who has the plaque.Copy !req
401. - Amy and rosa have it.
- What? How do you know?Copy !req
402. - Diaz usually favors
her left leg,Copy !req
403. But after "zero dark pizza,"Copy !req
404. She was suddenly
favoring her right.Copy !req
405. - Yes, yes,
which means that she...Copy !req
406. Was...Copy !req
407. - You trailed off
and didn't finish speaking.Copy !req
408. Continue.Copy !req
409. - I don't want to.Copy !req
410. - Her gait was thrown offCopy !req
411. Because she was carrying
the plaque.Copy !req
412. And I know exactly
where it's hidden:Copy !req
413. In santiago's
secret cigarette stash.Copy !req
414. - How did you find that?Copy !req
415. - Whenever she gets
stressed out, she smokes.Copy !req
416. And it's almost too easy
to stress her out.Copy !req
417. Oh, santiago, I...Copy !req
418. Never mind.Copy !req
419. - What is it?Copy !req
420. What?Copy !req
421. I got to go.Copy !req
422. - Bing-pot.Copy !req
423. And now it's time to send inCopy !req
424. Our cute little secret weapon.Copy !req
425. - I'm ready, captain.Copy !req
426. I love the nickname.Copy !req
427. - No, charles, not you.Copy !req
428. I was talking about cheddar.Copy !req
429. - Oh, right, obviously.Copy !req
430. - Over the past month,
I've had him trainedCopy !req
431. To retrieve plaques.Copy !req
432. And now, boy,Copy !req
433. It's time to make daddy proud.Copy !req
434. - Yes, sir.Copy !req
435. - I could not have been
more clearlyCopy !req
436. Talking to the dog.Copy !req
437. - Time is running out.Copy !req
438. We got to stop
playing by the rulesCopy !req
439. And start playing dirty.Copy !req
440. Follow my lead, bill.Copy !req
441. - Okay, but first
I should tell youCopy !req
442. My safe word is "cabbage."Copy !req
443. - Why?Copy !req
444. You know what?
Never mind.Copy !req
445. It doesn't matter.
Hey, charles!Copy !req
446. Charles, get in here.Copy !req
447. Come on.Copy !req
448. What is holt up to?Copy !req
449. Does he have the plaque?
Does he know who does?Copy !req
450. - I'm not telling you
that, jake.Copy !req
451. I'm team holt,
and there's nothingCopy !req
452. You could say
that will change that.Copy !req
453. - Okay, fine,
then I guess I haveCopy !req
454. A new best friend,
and his name...Copy !req
455. Is bill.Copy !req
456. you're not serious.Copy !req
457. He's just a prop
for the heist.Copy !req
458. - Sure, it started out
that way,Copy !req
459. But you know
how these things go,Copy !req
460. Spending time together,Copy !req
461. Sharing intimate secrets,Copy !req
462. Laughing about nothing
in particular.Copy !req
463. - cabbage.Copy !req
464. - Holt has the plaque.Copy !req
465. It's hidden
in the evidence roomCopy !req
466. In a box marked
"cold cases 1972."Copy !req
467. - Thanks, bud.
We will always be best friends.Copy !req
468. You hear that, bill?Copy !req
469. Nobody likes you!Copy !req
470. - Ain't she a beaut?Copy !req
471. - Sexy.Copy !req
472. - Immediately
ruined it, bill.Copy !req
473. Immediately.Copy !req
474. Here you go.Copy !req
475. - Chht, chht, chht, chh...Copy !req
476. - What is happening right now?Copy !req
477. - The last sands are running
through the hourglass—Copy !req
478. Chh, chh, chh—Copy !req
479. Because your time
is running out,Copy !req
480. And you are never
going to get the plaque.Copy !req
481. - Oh, captain, stop.Copy !req
482. I just can't let you
embarrass yourself.Copy !req
483. I told jake everything.Copy !req
484. He threatened to replace me,Copy !req
485. And I freaked out hard.Copy !req
486. I'm sorry.
- It's okay.Copy !req
487. I knew you would betray me.Copy !req
488. That's why I fed you fake intel.Copy !req
489. What?Copy !req
490. - The plaque was never
in "cold cases 1972."Copy !req
491. As if I'd just put it
in a box, unattended.Copy !req
492. - Uh, but you did.Copy !req
493. - No, I didn't.Copy !req
494. - Then how do you explain this?Copy !req
495. - I have no idea.Copy !req
496. I put the plaque
in my office.Copy !req
497. Cheddar?Copy !req
498. Come here. Come here.
Come here, baby.Copy !req
499. - What the hell?
- Yeah, thank you.Copy !req
500. Return to my office, please.Copy !req
501. - What's up,
you little turds?Copy !req
502. Wait, what is going on?
We have the plaque.Copy !req
503. - Yeah, I just got it
out of the ventCopy !req
504. To rub it in your faces.Copy !req
505. - "I just got it out of the vent
to rub it in your faces."Copy !req
506. Name of your sex tape.
What?Copy !req
507. - Something strange
is afoot.Copy !req
508. Which of these is real?Copy !req
509. - Black lights.
What the hell?Copy !req
510. - Oh, my god.
Our precinct is disgusting.Copy !req
511. - Dear god.Copy !req
512. Hitchcock and scully's desk.Copy !req
513. Ugh!
- Wait.Copy !req
514. Look at the plaques.Copy !req
515. - "are."
- "heists."Copy !req
516. - "dumb."Copy !req
517. Are heists dumb?
Of course not.Copy !req
518. That was a stupid question.Copy !req
519. - No, jake, it's says,
"heists are dumb."Copy !req
520. Terry!Copy !req
521. - The oscar for best liar
goes to you!Copy !req
522. - That's not an oscars category.Copy !req
523. What's going on?Copy !req
524. - Not to be harsh, sarge,Copy !req
525. But you're setting
a terrible exampleCopy !req
526. For your daughters,
and they're gonna grow upCopy !req
527. To be total failures.Copy !req
528. - You take that back.Copy !req
529. - No, she's right, jeffords.
Your children are doomed.Copy !req
530. Where's the plaque?Copy !req
531. - For the last time,
I don't know.Copy !req
532. I've been working here
the whole time.Copy !req
533. Ask them.Copy !req
534. - Well, actually,
we both fell asleep.Copy !req
535. - And jeffords
never woke us up.Copy !req
536. Coincidence?Copy !req
537. - I don't need this.Copy !req
538. - You're not going anywhere.Copy !req
539. - Damn, rosa!Copy !req
540. He's trying to get away!Copy !req
541. Everyone start panicking!Copy !req
542. - He had someone lock the door.Copy !req
543. - 'sup, losers?Copy !req
544. I have the real plaque!
Unh, unh!Copy !req
545. - Gina! Of course!Copy !req
546. It all makes sense,Copy !req
547. Except for the parts
I don't understandCopy !req
548. And the fact that I still
kind of think terry did this.Copy !req
549. - Nope, it was all me.Copy !req
550. Three weeks ago,
captain holt asked meCopy !req
551. To order a plaque that read,Copy !req
552. "the ultimate
detective/genius."Copy !req
553. I did it,
and I ordered three copiesCopy !req
554. And a statue of tyrese
riding a dolphin.Copy !req
555. - Is that relevant?
- To my life, yes.Copy !req
556. Once I had the plaques,
I manipulated captain holtCopy !req
557. Into choosing boyle
as his partner.Copy !req
558. All it took was
six bottles of dish soap.Copy !req
559. See, this is what happensCopy !req
560. When jake tries to wash dishes
by himself.Copy !req
561. It's like he's helpless
without boyle.Copy !req
562. - Yes.Copy !req
563. He is helpless without boyle.Copy !req
564. - And you fell for my trapCopy !req
565. Like a greedy little rat.Copy !req
566. - Easy.Copy !req
567. - Yes, it was easy.Copy !req
568. And the next phase of my plan:Copy !req
569. A "skating accident."Copy !req
570. - But you knocked out
your two front teeth.Copy !req
571. - False teeth.Copy !req
572. Fake blood.Copy !req
573. I lost my real teeth
at jenn sutton'sCopy !req
574. Birthday party
in fourth grade.Copy !req
575. - Oh, you made sure
I didn't remember that!Copy !req
576. - It was minute fiveCopy !req
577. Of seven minutes in heaven
with todd cohenCopy !req
578. When he bumped the wallCopy !req
579. And a bowling ball fell
on my face.Copy !req
580. - Maybe I just
wasn't at that party.Copy !req
581. - Once I had faked
the skating mishap,Copy !req
582. I swapped out a dummy plaque
for the real one.Copy !req
583. Then I left
to go to the dentist.Copy !req
584. - And you convinced your dentistCopy !req
585. To help you carry out
the rest of the heist.Copy !req
586. - No.
- Of course not. Go ahead.Copy !req
587. - I came back,
wearing the perfect disguiseCopy !req
588. To make sure I was never noticed
by anyone.Copy !req
589. Something so drab
and uninspiring...Copy !req
590. - This feels like
it's gonna be a dig on me.Copy !req
591. - I wore amy's clothes.
- There it is.Copy !req
592. - This is your doing,
you and your male prostitute.Copy !req
593. - Bill is not a male prostitute,
I don't think.Copy !req
594. - That suit is not drab.Copy !req
595. It has a fun salmon lining.Copy !req
596. - No, amy, it made me invisible.Copy !req
597. And now
that I had that power,Copy !req
598. Every time one of you
stole a plaque,Copy !req
599. I replaced it with a fake.Copy !req
600. And no one had any ideaCopy !req
601. Until the lights went out,Copy !req
602. Revealing a secret message:Copy !req
603. "heists are dumb."Copy !req
604. - Then we raced in here
to blame terry,Copy !req
605. And you trapped us.Copy !req
606. But how did you know he was
gonna say "heists are dumb"?Copy !req
607. - Terry says that
about everything.Copy !req
608. - Everyone should wear
suspenders.Copy !req
609. Belts are dumb.Copy !req
610. People should swim forward.Copy !req
611. The backstroke is dumb.Copy !req
612. 30 grams of fat?Copy !req
613. Hummus is dumb.Copy !req
614. - And now here you all are,Copy !req
615. Locked up
behind the glassCopy !req
616. Like a bunch
of loser fish.Copy !req
617. I bet you're wondering
why I did it.Copy !req
618. - Because you wanted to win?Copy !req
619. - No!
I had a loftier goal in mind.Copy !req
620. Can you do me a favor
and tell meCopy !req
621. What that says right there?Copy !req
622. - "the ultimate
detective/genius."Copy !req
623. - Detective.Copy !req
624. Can you imagine
what that word sounds likeCopy !req
625. To someone
who's not a detective?Copy !req
626. Discriminatory.Copy !req
627. It's worse than segregation.Copy !req
628. Uh-uh.
- Too far? I'm sorry.Copy !req
629. But I think
I've proved a point,Copy !req
630. And that's why we're changing
the name of the plaque forever!Copy !req
631. - To what?Copy !req
632. Gina linettiCopy !req
633. Is the ultimate human/genius.Copy !req
634. - Thank you.Copy !req
635. And now I'd like to say
a few words.Copy !req
636. - You talked for, like, an hourCopy !req
637. When you had us locked
in that interrogation room.Copy !req
638. - I'm a fair ruler.Copy !req
639. Your comment has been heard.Copy !req
640. But seriously, you guys,Copy !req
641. I just want to say,Copy !req
642. I freaking love you losers.Copy !req
643. Happy halloween.Copy !req
644. Happy halloween!Copy !req
645. - Take out your teeth.Copy !req
646. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
647. Take out your teeth!Copy !req
648. Take out your teeth!Copy !req
649. Take out
your teeth!Copy !req
650. Oh!Copy !req
651. - I'm invincible!Copy !req
652. - Not a doctor. Shh!Copy !req