1. Hey, Jakey,
the place on the cornerCopy !req
2. is serving lemonade,
and you get to keep the jar.Copy !req
3. It's pretty cool.Copy !req
4. Yes, that's very cool,
Scully. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
5. Will you excuse me just one moment? Oh,
sure.Copy !req
6. Guys, guys, guys!Copy !req
7. Scully has a mason jar
full of lemonade.Copy !req
8. You called us in here
to tell us that?Copy !req
9. No, I called you in here
to change your lives!Copy !req
10. For, you see, a mere five minutes ago,
Hitchcock introduced meCopy !req
11. to his new goldfish,
who lives in...Copy !req
12. An identical
mason jar!Copy !req
13. Oh, this isn't
gonna end well.Copy !req
14. There are two
possible outcomes,Copy !req
15. and we're going to bet on
which one happens first.Copy !req
16. So, will Hitchcock put fish
food in Scully's lemonade,Copy !req
17. or will Scully drink
Hitchcock's goldfish?Copy !req
18. Now, you would think that
putting fish food into lemonade...Copy !req
19. Hitchcock just drank
his own fish.Copy !req
20. What? No!Copy !req
21. Ames, you're two minutes late.Copy !req
22. I called all the
emergency rooms.Copy !req
23. I know.Copy !req
24. I went home from
your place to shower,Copy !req
25. and I'm so tired
that I fell asleepCopy !req
26. while shaving my legs.Copy !req
27. But we went to bed so early.Copy !req
28. Property Brothers
was over at 10:00.Copy !req
29. I mean... Sex.Copy !req
30. We do it.Copy !req
31. She's tired from
all the doing it.Copy !req
32. Who are you talking to?
Precinct.Copy !req
33. Come on, man.
Yeah.Copy !req
34. No, I was up all nightCopy !req
35. because your dumb, lumpy
mattress is so uncomfortable.Copy !req
36. What? But I gave you
the good lump. Ugh.Copy !req
37. Please stop talking 'til I
finish eating my coffee.Copy !req
38. All right.Copy !req
39. Ooh, a lover's quarrel.Copy !req
40. No, I'm just tired.Copy !req
41. I didn't ask for part two.
Never fear, Amy,Copy !req
42. for I have the solution
to all of your problems.Copy !req
43. Highly-potent
liquid speed.Copy !req
44. Oh, you gonna love
that stuff.Copy !req
45. Devon, we're cops.
Read the room.Copy !req
46. But I know you'll be excited,
because I busted Devon hereCopy !req
47. with four vials of this,
which is a new drug called...Copy !req
48. Taxi! You actually
found some?Copy !req
49. Yup. Your CI was right.Copy !req
50. It's popping up
on the corners.Copy !req
51. Man, my snitches
are the best.Copy !req
52. The key is to always send them
handwritten thank-you notes.Copy !req
53. Oh. So what do you say?Copy !req
54. Shall we take this partnership
from the sheets to the streets?Copy !req
55. Ooh, our first case
as a couple.Copy !req
56. Why not?
Hey, guys.Copy !req
57. I just discovered
a new drug, too.Copy !req
58. It's called "your relationship,"
and I'm high on it.Copy !req
59. Charles, I'm gonna need you
to back off, man.Copy !req
60. Roger that.
Yeah.Copy !req
61. All right. I'll take one.Copy !req
62. Now, go sell your candy
to everyone else, stupid.Copy !req
63. Hey, hey,
hey. You can't call a kid stupid.Copy !req
64. What if he's really stupid?Copy !req
65. Terry, this is Sam,
my little brotherCopy !req
66. from Brooklyn's Big Brothers.Copy !req
67. I think it's funny
when she calls me stupid.Copy !req
68. No one cares, stupid.Copy !req
69. Screw you, Rosa.Copy !req
70. Sam's selling candy to pay
for his basketball uniforms.Copy !req
71. He's a forward.
I taught him how to elbow.Copy !req
72. Cool?Copy !req
73. Now, go home and do
all your homework,Copy !req
74. or I will end you.Copy !req
75. Don't let Rosa fool you.Copy !req
76. She's not that scary.Copy !req
77. She used to do ballet.
No way.Copy !req
78. Which gave me the physical skills
I need to strangle you with my feet.Copy !req
79. Now scram.Copy !req
80. I love being a mentor.Copy !req
81. It's called "taxi"
because it's yellow,Copy !req
82. and it takes you
where you need to be.Copy !req
83. Drug dealers have
gotten so creative.Copy !req
84. It used to just be "crack,"
and then they'd be like,Copy !req
85. "Hey, we got a new one.
What are we gonna call this?"Copy !req
86. And they'd go,
"I don't know, crank?"Copy !req
87. This is certainly worth
following up on.Copy !req
88. Santiago, take Boyle
and work the case.Copy !req
89. Oh, but Jake...Copy !req
90. I mean, Detective Peralta
brought in the perp, so...Copy !req
91. Good point. Peralta and
Boyle can work the case.Copy !req
92. Actually, sir, I think
we were kind of hopingCopy !req
93. we could work
the case together.Copy !req
94. Oh, are you two no longer...Copy !req
95. Smooshing booties?Copy !req
96. Yes, that's exactly how I
was gonna finish my sentence.Copy !req
97. Figured.
We are still dating.Copy !req
98. It's all above board.
HR gets daily updatesCopy !req
99. and are BCC-ed on
all our emails to each other.Copy !req
100. That's why HR Jim
keeps high-fiving me.Copy !req
101. As a rule, I don't put
couples in the field together,Copy !req
102. but you are two of
my best detectives,Copy !req
103. so I will allow it.Copy !req
104. Just don't let any personal
issues distract you from your work.Copy !req
105. You have nothing
to worry about.Copy !req
106. There's no personal
issues here.Copy !req
107. We've never even had a fight.
It's true.Copy !req
108. Our only close callCopy !req
109. was when Jake didn't know
who Will Shortz was.Copy !req
110. Really?Copy !req
111. Never heard of
the puzzle master?Copy !req
112. This is who you want
to be with?Copy !req
113. I shouldn't get involved.
Good luck with the case.Copy !req
114. Thank you.Copy !req
115. Whoa. What's up
with you, Furiosa?Copy !req
116. I'm in a huff, that's what, because
of what just happened in the garage.Copy !req
117. Charles in charge
of our days and our nightsCopy !req
118. What? Nuh-uh.Copy !req
119. How am I supposed to...
Come on!Copy !req
120. Some clown clown-parked
his clown carCopy !req
121. in Captain Holt's spot
and halfway into mine.Copy !req
122. What a clown!Copy !req
123. Sporty?
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
124. Convertible?
Yeah, that's the one.Copy !req
125. Oh, I hate people
who drive sports cars.Copy !req
126. You're not Gloria Estefan,
and this isn't Miami.Copy !req
127. Charles.
Hey, Captain.Copy !req
128. Get ready to join me
in the huff zone.Copy !req
129. No.
Some creep had the gall...Copy !req
130. I saw you drove Gertie to
work this morning, huh, Captain?Copy !req
131. Oh, yes. Kevin and I finally
brought her up from the country.Copy !req
132. Gertie is our convertible.Copy !req
133. I think you'd like her.
She's a real peppy broad.Copy !req
134. Oh, I didn't realize
that was your car.Copy !req
135. My car?Copy !req
136. "Raymond Holt"
may be on the title,Copy !req
137. but no man can own
her spirit.Copy !req
138. Anyway, I'm sorry, Boyle.
I interrupted you.Copy !req
139. You were saying something
about some creep.Copy !req
140. Just some strangler
that I was... Arrested.Copy !req
141. I was talking about some
strangler that I arrested.Copy !req
142. Well,
good job. Put the paperwork on my desk.Copy !req
143. Thank you.Copy !req
144. Great. Now I have to
go find a strangler.Copy !req
145. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
146. So, I marked all the corners where
taxi has been spotted on this map.Copy !req
147. You'll probably
notice right awayCopy !req
148. that it makes
the shape of a boob.Copy !req
149. This looks great.
Confirms Devon's story.Copy !req
150. He says his dealer
hangs out here,Copy !req
151. in the underboob.Copy !req
152. He said
he'll point him out to us.Copy !req
153. So you approach
on foot from the south,Copy !req
154. and me and Devon will
be in an unmarked car here.Copy !req
155. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
156. "Me and Devon"?Copy !req
157. Didn't you mean
"Devon and I"?Copy !req
158. Oh, God.
I corrected your grammar!Copy !req
159. Are you so proud
of me? Are you horrified?Copy !req
160. Are you super horny?Copy !req
161. I'm just really tired.
Leave me alone.Copy !req
162. Don't you mean
leave "I" alone?Copy !req
163. No, that one felt wrong.Copy !req
164. I guess we're equally
bad at grammar.Copy !req
165. I'm not bad at grammar.Copy !req
166. I'm exhausted because you
refuse to get a new mattress!Copy !req
167. All right, why don't
you just get a new back?Copy !req
168. I didn't mean that.Copy !req
169. We're not fighting. We can
totally work together. We're fine.Copy !req
170. Yeah, that wasn't a fight.Copy !req
171. That was just sexy
workplace banter.Copy !req
172. Exactly.Copy !req
173. I mean, mattresses are also
sexy 'cause that's where you do it.Copy !req
174. Yeah. And grammar is
a system of languageCopy !req
175. involving syntax
and semantics.Copy !req
176. Also sexy.Copy !req
177. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
178. Point is, we're good.
Yeah.Copy !req
179. All
right. You're almost to the corner.Copy !req
180. You sure you're not gonna be spotted?
Absolutely.Copy !req
181. My cover
makes me invisible.Copy !req
182. Excuse me, ma'am.Copy !req
183. Do you have two minutes
to talk about the environment?Copy !req
184. Nailed it.Copy !req
185. Now no one will make
eye contact with me.Copy !req
186. I think it's cute.Copy !req
187. You're like
an idealistic grad student.Copy !req
188. You like that?Copy !req
189. You want me to tell
you about the timeCopy !req
190. that I backpacked through
the Netherlands?Copy !req
191. Ooh, did you fold all your stuff up
really small to fit into one carry-on?Copy !req
192. Is that what you want me
to have done?Copy !req
193. Hey, there's my dealer.Copy !req
194. Jake, gray jacket,
6 o'clock.Copy !req
195. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
196. Do you have two minutes to
talk about the environment?Copy !req
197. NYPD! Freeze!Copy !req
198. We got a rabbit!Copy !req
199. He's headed for
the building.Copy !req
200. I'll just stay here.Copy !req
201. All right, let's split
up and meet around back.Copy !req
202. NYPD! Freeze!Copy !req
203. Jake, he's coming
your way!Copy !req
204. Nice takedown.
Thanks.Copy !req
205. Oh, my God.
What?Copy !req
206. Nothing, nothing.
Let's just take this guy in.Copy !req
207. No. What is it?Copy !req
208. It's just... This mattress looks
just like your mattress at home.Copy !req
209. What? No, it doesn't.Copy !req
210. I mean, sure, there are a
couple of similarities, but...Copy !req
211. Oh, man.
It's the exact same one.Copy !req
212. Ugh, I have
a dumpster mattress!Copy !req
213. All right. That settles it.
We're going mattress shopping.Copy !req
214. Seriously?
Oh, this is the best.Copy !req
215. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
216. You know, once we get it,
we'll have to break it in.Copy !req
217. Oh, I hear
what you're saying.Copy !req
218. Mattress trampoline.Copy !req
219. Wait,
no. You were talking about sex. Yeah.Copy !req
220. Then mattress
trampoline.Copy !req
221. Sure.
Okay.Copy !req
222. Diaz,
your friend Sam is here. Nice.Copy !req
223. That little dum-dum finished
his homework early. Where is he?Copy !req
224. Before I answer,Copy !req
225. maybe we could
brew a pot of nice,Copy !req
226. relaxing kava tea,
and then...Copy !req
227. Spit it out.Copy !req
228. Sam was brought in
for shoplifting a phone.Copy !req
229. I also have chamomile!
That might calm us down.Copy !req
230. Oh, if you want calm,
there's some 'ludes in evidence,Copy !req
231. if anybody would ever
let me get them out.Copy !req
232. Hey! What were
you thinking?Copy !req
233. I made a mistake!Copy !req
234. The phones were
just lying there,Copy !req
235. and I didn't think
things through.Copy !req
236. I'm sorry, Rosa.Copy !req
237. Rosa is your friend from
before you were a criminal.Copy !req
238. You are dealing with
Detective Diaz now,Copy !req
239. and she is gonna make sure you
rot in juvie for the rest of your life.Copy !req
240. Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Can I talk to you for a minute?Copy !req
241. It feels like you're
being a little harsh.Copy !req
242. Thanks. Good note.Copy !req
243. I was going for extremely
harsh. I'll turn it up.Copy !req
244. Diaz, he's just a kid.Copy !req
245. Can't you just let him off
with a warning?Copy !req
246. Sometimes being as
tough as possibleCopy !req
247. doesn't lead to
the best outcome.Copy !req
248. This isn't Cagney
calling Lacey a poopy-head.Copy !req
249. I'm not just gonna
give him a time-out.Copy !req
250. Time-out?
Are you kidding?Copy !req
251. "Poopy-head" means
no Doc McStuffins for a week!Copy !req
252. Terry hates bathroom talk.Copy !req
253. Gina. Gina.Copy !req
254. Gina, I screwed up
big time.Copy !req
255. Charles, given your daily
life experiences,Copy !req
256. you're gonna have
to be more specific.Copy !req
257. Gertie!Copy !req
258. Gertie!Copy !req
259. There's only
one option for me,Copy !req
260. burn my face off with acid
and disappear forever.Copy !req
261. Yes, you should do that. Or you
could just tell him what happened.Copy !req
262. I mean, he parked in two
spots. It's kind of his fault.Copy !req
263. Just have some
B-bone, Boyle.Copy !req
264. You know that's
my smallest bone.Copy !req
265. Come on. It's just a car.
He's not gonna be that mad.Copy !req
266. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
267. Okay. I misjudged
that one.Copy !req
268. Oh, what did he do to you,
Gertie? What did he do?Copy !req
269. It was an accident, sir.Copy !req
270. Yes, an accident.
The buffoon's apology.Copy !req
271. This is your fault,
mister.Copy !req
272. Interesting. Charles?Copy !req
273. Do you feel
that's the case?Copy !req
274. Um, your car is
pretty far over the line.Copy !req
275. Mmm. So it's kind of your fault,
too.Copy !req
276. Pass the blame.Copy !req
277. The buffoonery is endless.Copy !req
278. You're gonna pay
for what you've done.Copy !req
279. And it won't be cheap.Copy !req
280. They'll have to
custom-mix the colorCopy !req
281. because they no longer make
raspberry sherbet.Copy !req
282. They're all so beautiful.Copy !req
283. And they're all
about to be tested...Copy !req
284. Bouncy-styles.Copy !req
285. Three, six, nineCopy !req
286. Damn, she fineCopy !req
287. Hoping she can sock it
to me one more timeCopy !req
288. Get low, get low,
get low, get lowCopy !req
289. To the windowCopy !req
290. To the windowCopy !req
291. To the wallCopy !req
292. I love this mattress.Copy !req
293. And it loves
having you in it.Copy !req
294. God?Copy !req
295. It's Brian.
Oh.Copy !req
296. And I'm obsessed with
giving you a good night's sleep.Copy !req
297. Hello, Brian.Copy !req
298. Coming on a little
strong there, buddy...Copy !req
299. And I'm digging it.Copy !req
300. How much to take
this bad boy home?Copy !req
301. Actually, that's one of our
more reasonable models.Copy !req
302. Holy Moses!
That is much too much money.Copy !req
303. Well, you spent twice that for
Mr. Met to come to your birthday party.Copy !req
304. Yeah, and it was worth it.Copy !req
305. Mr. Met used my bathroom.
Number two.Copy !req
306. That's a memory
I will cherish forever.Copy !req
307. Look, mattresses are expensive,
but they're an investment.Copy !req
308. It's gonna be in
your life for a long time.Copy !req
309. True, but it's also still
just a mattress, you know?Copy !req
310. It's a lot of money
to spend on a rectangleCopy !req
311. that's filled with
springs and goose hair.Copy !req
312. You know it's feathers.
I didn't.Copy !req
313. And it would be money
well spent,Copy !req
314. because it would allow me
to actually sleep in your bed.Copy !req
315. But I already have a mattress.
It just doesn't seem worth it.Copy !req
316. Okay, well, to me, it sounds
like you're saying I'm not worth it.Copy !req
317. So I'm gonna go sleep
in my grown-up mattressCopy !req
318. that I bought this century,
and you're not invited.Copy !req
319. You know, she's right about
mattresses being an investment.Copy !req
320. Back off, Brian.Copy !req
321. Morning.Copy !req
322. You look well-rested.Copy !req
323. Yes, because
I slept in my own bed.Copy !req
324. I was tossing
and turning.Copy !req
325. Jake told me about your fight.
I'm so worried about you two.Copy !req
326. Thank you, Charles.Copy !req
327. What do I have to do,
buy the mattress myself?Copy !req
328. Done.Copy !req
329. Problem solved.
No.Copy !req
330. It would make him
so happy.Copy !req
331. Good job on
the bust yesterday.Copy !req
332. How was it,
working together as a couple?Copy !req
333. So good.
So great.Copy !req
334. Yeah.
Super mellow and chill.Copy !req
335. Yeah.Copy !req
336. She slapped my butt once.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
337. We're definitely
falling in love.Copy !req
338. All right.
Good, good, good.Copy !req
339. We found something strange
on the dealer you brought in,Copy !req
340. two matchbooks
from the same hotel.Copy !req
341. He's refusing to give up his supplier,
but this could be something.Copy !req
342. That's weird.
Look at this.Copy !req
343. The same two matches
are missing from both booksCopy !req
344. third one on the bottom row,
and fifth one on the top.Copy !req
345. Coincidence?
No way.Copy !req
346. No one would take
matches out like that.Copy !req
347. Trust me, I smoked four
cigarettes in college.Copy !req
348. One to completion.Copy !req
349. That's a code.
A code?Copy !req
350. Exciting.Copy !req
351. I'll go get
my pencil case.Copy !req
352. I bet
it's a room number.Copy !req
353. Third floor, fifth room.
Room 305.Copy !req
354. That's definitely it.
Well, great.Copy !req
355. Great, great.
Santiago has solved it.Copy !req
356. I want you two
to go undercoverCopy !req
357. as a couple
to stake out the room.Copy !req
358. You should be very convincing,
given that you're currently, uh...Copy !req
359. What was it, um...Copy !req
360. "Smooshing booties."Copy !req
361. Great, and thank you
for saying it that way.Copy !req
362. It made us both
feel very comfortable.Copy !req
363. Sure did.Copy !req
364. Hey, I've been
looking for you.Copy !req
365. Before you decide
what to do with Sam,Copy !req
366. there's someone I think
you should talk to.Copy !req
367. Miss Miriam.Copy !req
368. Surprise!Copy !req
369. I tracked down
your old ballet coach.Copy !req
370. I brought her in to
remind you of the effectCopy !req
371. a kind, nurturing presence
can have on a young life.Copy !req
372. Hello, dear.Copy !req
373. Have you continued
to dance?Copy !req
374. No, Miss Miriam.Copy !req
375. Well, there's no
surprise in that.Copy !req
376. You always were
a lazy ox.Copy !req
377. What's this now?
Look at your posture.Copy !req
378. You look as if you should be
ringing the bells at Notre Dame.Copy !req
379. Miss Miriam was
not nurturing, at all.Copy !req
380. All right, ox.
Let's see what you've got.Copy !req
381. Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
382. Eyes up. Shoulders down.Copy !req
383. Well, that wasn't
terrible.Copy !req
384. See, Sarge?
Tough love works.Copy !req
385. Damn it!Copy !req
386. Terry proved
the wrong point.Copy !req
387. Aw, chuckles.Copy !req
388. You're looking even
more broken than usual.Copy !req
389. Yeah, I should have never have
tried to stand up to Captain Holt.Copy !req
390. Why didn't I just
beg for mercy?Copy !req
391. It's my signature move,Copy !req
392. "The Charles."Copy !req
393. No, you are actually in
the right in this sitch.Copy !req
394. The Captain
is being irrational.Copy !req
395. But he's about to learn
himself a lesson.Copy !req
396. Right about...Copy !req
397. Nah...Copy !req
398. Oh, my!Copy !req
399. Now.Copy !req
400. Timed it perfectly.Copy !req
401. What?Copy !req
402. What did you do
to my cupcake?Copy !req
403. This is yours?Copy !req
404. Why on Earth is your
cupcake on my chair?Copy !req
405. Because it's very
special to me,Copy !req
406. so I can put it
wherever I want.Copy !req
407. This is your fault.Copy !req
408. Now you have to
buy me a new cupcake.Copy !req
409. This is outrageous.
You expect me to avoid...Copy !req
410. Oh.Copy !req
411. I see.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
412. Yeah, you do.Copy !req
413. The cupcake was Gertie.
Yes.Copy !req
414. Your butt was Charles's car.
Yes.Copy !req
415. The chair was the parking space. Yes,
I get it.Copy !req
416. Your office was the garage.Copy !req
417. Yes, I'm telling you
I understand the lesson.Copy !req
418. And I was the brilliant Gina
Linetti in both scenarios.Copy !req
419. All right.
We're done here.Copy !req
420. Okay.Copy !req
421. You're a great captain.Copy !req
422. Jake, why don't you
just sit down?Copy !req
423. No, thank you.Copy !req
424. I can see the feed
better from here.Copy !req
425. It's really comfortable.Copy !req
426. All right. I'll sit.Copy !req
427. Nope,
my butt hates expensive things. No.Copy !req
428. You know what
your butt hates?Copy !req
429. Making any sort of
sacrifice for us,Copy !req
430. because it's not serious
about this relationship.Copy !req
431. Okay, first of all,
my butt is so seriousCopy !req
432. it should be wearing
spectacles.Copy !req
433. And second,
your butt is the buttCopy !req
434. that is not serious about
this relationship.Copy !req
435. My butt is totally serious.
I've made all kinds of changes.Copy !req
436. I bought
orange soda for you.Copy !req
437. Okay!Copy !req
438. For the last time,Copy !req
439. Orangina is not
orange soda.Copy !req
440. Yeah,
because it's better.Copy !req
441. Okay,
now you're just being crazy.Copy !req
442. Ugh, you're not even taking
this argument seriously.Copy !req
443. All right.
You want to get serious?Copy !req
444. How come you haven't told
your mom that we're dating?Copy !req
445. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
446. I saw the text she sent
you about setting you upCopy !req
447. with some dude
named Gary.Copy !req
448. You read my texts?Copy !req
449. It buzzed when
you were in the bathroom.Copy !req
450. Who doesn't bring their phone
with them into the bathroom?Copy !req
451. That's, like, the whole
reason to go in there.Copy !req
452. I haven't told her because
I haven't had the chance.Copy !req
453. What? You talk to her, like,
every week. You basically stalk her.Copy !req
454. Why don't you just admit that
you don't want to tell her about me?Copy !req
455. Jake,
it's not about you.Copy !req
456. Look, the minute I tell her
that I'm dating someone,Copy !req
457. she's gonna call
me all the timeCopy !req
458. and ask me a million
annoying questions.Copy !req
459. Wow, it sounds
like such a huge drag.Copy !req
460. I guess I'm just
not "worth it."Copy !req
461. Boom. Used the thing you said to me in
a different argument in this argument.Copy !req
462. I win the argument.Copy !req
463. Oh, no, no, no.
This is bad.Copy !req
464. Well, you started it...
Or I did.Copy !req
465. I can't remember
at this point.Copy !req
466. No, Jake.
Look at the screen.Copy !req
467. Oh, no.Copy !req
468. For the last time,
Orangina is not orange soda.Copy !req
469. Yeah, because it's better.Copy !req
470. Okay,
now you're just being crazy.Copy !req
471. You're not even taking this...Copy !req
472. You do have to admit,
it was a pretty good pointCopy !req
473. about Orangina, though.Copy !req
474. Your turn, Peralta.Copy !req
475. Thank you, Santiago.Copy !req
476. Okay.Copy !req
477. I know you're mad,
but before you say anything,Copy !req
478. yes, we screwed up.Copy !req
479. And yes, you warned us.Copy !req
480. And yes, I don't know
where I'm going with this.Copy !req
481. But I do know this,Copy !req
482. I have reached
the end of my sentence.Copy !req
483. Oh, my God. Did that work?
Not at all.Copy !req
484. I can't believe you let a personal
argument derail your investigation.Copy !req
485. I would characterize it more as a
professional police disagreement.Copy !req
486. I listened to the tape.
Oh, no.Copy !req
487. Yeah, well, then you know that it
was a straight-up crazy bitch fight.Copy !req
488. Look, I know we screwed up
the case, and I'm sorry.Copy !req
489. But if it's any consolation, I think
we also screwed up our relationship.Copy !req
490. Peralta, have a seat.Copy !req
491. I believe this might help.Copy !req
492. When Kevin and I
first started dating,Copy !req
493. he taught at a small
college upstate.Copy !req
494. It was two hours away
by train or bus,Copy !req
495. but only 30 minutes
by car.Copy !req
496. Is this another
one of your riddles?Copy !req
497. You rode to work
on his shoulders.Copy !req
498. One set of footprints. No?Copy !req
499. No.
Okay.Copy !req
500. Neither of us owned a car,
and I didn't want to buy oneCopy !req
501. because that would mean
admitting that I cared for Kevin.Copy !req
502. He had the same fear,
and so visits were rare,Copy !req
503. and I was miserable.Copy !req
504. Then one spring day,
Kevin showed up at my doorCopy !req
505. having purchased Gertie.Copy !req
506. He took the leap,
and I'm so grateful that he did.Copy !req
507. I only regret that
I didn't do it first.Copy !req
508. Do you understand?Copy !req
509. Absolutely, 100%.Copy !req
510. The train is
your old mattress.Copy !req
511. Yeah.
The car is your new mattress.Copy !req
512. I got it.
Kevin is you.Copy !req
513. I'm Santiago.
Loud and clear. 100%.Copy !req
514. So, I took care of Sam.
Uh-oh.Copy !req
515. That sounds ominous,Copy !req
516. like you went all
Miss Miriam on him.Copy !req
517. I let him off
with a warning.Copy !req
518. See, thing about Miss Miriam
is she made me a good dancer,Copy !req
519. but she ruined
my childhood.Copy !req
520. She was constantly
riding me about my postureCopy !req
521. and my technique
and my pink hair.Copy !req
522. Pink hair.
Never speak of that.Copy !req
523. Copy. She's the
reason I quit ballet.Copy !req
524. And I sure as hell
don't want SamCopy !req
525. to quit the Big Brother
program 'cause of me.Copy !req
526. This is totally howCopy !req
527. I thought this Miss Miriam
thing was gonna go.Copy !req
528. Another flawless Terry plan.Copy !req
529. Boyle, I thought
you should know.Copy !req
530. I just got Gertie back
from the garage.Copy !req
531. She looks as good as new.Copy !req
532. Better, even,
because after 12 years,Copy !req
533. they finally got the Annie Lennox
cassette out of the tape player.Copy !req
534. Oh, I love her.Copy !req
535. Here's a check
for the full amount.Copy !req
536. You don't owe me
anything.Copy !req
537. It was my fault,
and I behaved poorly,Copy !req
538. as Gina made
abundantly clear.Copy !req
539. Oh, speaking of,
you still owe me $14 for that cupcake.Copy !req
540. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
541. What's up?
Two things.Copy !req
542. I ran the footage
from the hotelCopy !req
543. through facial recognition
software and got a match.Copy !req
544. Grady Lamont.Copy !req
545. This is his current address.Copy !req
546. That's good, I guess.
Yeah, it's six years old.Copy !req
547. Well, druggies are lazy?Copy !req
548. He deals in uppers.Copy !req
549. We're screwed.
Yup.Copy !req
550. What's the second thing?Copy !req
551. Well, the Captain
and I were jammingCopy !req
552. on some personal issues,
just going back and forth.Copy !req
553. I honestly think I helped
him more than he helped me.Copy !req
554. I'm not buying any of that. No.Copy !req
555. Amy Santiago...Copy !req
556. I want to change
mattresses for you.Copy !req
557. That's the best thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
558. I'm sorry
I didn't do it sooner.Copy !req
559. I think I was just scared
that you were gonna realizeCopy !req
560. you're way better
than me.Copy !req
561. Like, you're Orangina,
and I'm orange soda.Copy !req
562. Are you kidding?Copy !req
563. You're Orangina.
Ugh.Copy !req
564. Don't say that.Copy !req
565. Look...Copy !req
566. I was scared too.Copy !req
567. I'm gonna call
my mom tonight.Copy !req
568. Okay.Copy !req
569. Let's buy this baby.Copy !req
570. Calling up the website,Copy !req
571. finding the mattress,
adding to cart,Copy !req
572. signing in as "Guest"...Copy !req
573. That is not an option.Copy !req
574. Creating an account...Copy !req
575. You don't have to buy
it right this second.Copy !req
576. Nope, this is a big romantic gesture,
and I'm nailing it.Copy !req
577. Shipping address... Not
the same as billing address.Copy !req
578. Got to enter both of those.Copy !req
579. Jake, Jake, look!
There's our guy.Copy !req
580. Oh, perfect timing.Copy !req
581. Submit order.Copy !req
582. Province? Oh, no. We're on
the Canadian website.Copy !req
583. Click on the American flag.Copy !req
584. Jake! Yeah. We'll
do this later. Let's go!Copy !req