1. Hey, Jake,Copy !req
2. can I show you
something over here?Copy !req
3. I'm trying to send
Genevieve a sexy pic.Copy !req
4. Does this make
my bubble butt pop?Copy !req
5. Nope. I'm out.Copy !req
6. Who's that?Copy !req
7. Um, excuse me, pal.
Think you're at my desk.Copy !req
8. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
9. Drop it! Drop the weapon!Copy !req
10. Squad, meet
Detective Adrian Pimento.Copy !req
11. He's been deep undercover
for the last 12 years,Copy !req
12. but he's just resurfaced,
and he's rejoining the Nine-Nine.Copy !req
13. That is awesome!Copy !req
14. Some of you just met
Detective Pimento,Copy !req
15. and, of course,
some of you knew himCopy !req
16. before he went undercover.Copy !req
17. Hitchcock and Scully.Copy !req
18. You guys still work here?Copy !req
19. The only way they're getting
rid of us is in a body bag.Copy !req
20. It actually happened once,Copy !req
21. but it was a false alarm.Copy !req
22. Detective Pimento will be
returning to his old desk.Copy !req
23. Peralta will temporarily
be moved to the break room.Copy !req
24. Questions?Copy !req
25. I worked for Jimmy
"The Butcher" Figgis.Copy !req
26. That is an A-list mobster.Copy !req
27. Tell me literally everything.Copy !req
28. Everyone, shut up!Copy !req
29. Pretty much just
a bagman for him.Copy !req
30. I mean, I did
some other stuff.Copy !req
31. Um, we usually try to tell
funnier little stories.Copy !req
32. Well, there's nothing funny
about what I did for The Butcher.Copy !req
33. I've had to learn
not to blink,Copy !req
34. because every time I close my eyes,
I see a fresh horror.Copy !req
35. Ooh, dark.Copy !req
36. Actually, I have a very funny
story about keeping my eyes moist.Copy !req
37. Come on.Copy !req
38. Nope. Still not getting
that vibe, man.Copy !req
39. Really?Copy !req
40. I'll get there.
That's my bad, everybody.Copy !req
41. Dismissed.Copy !req
42. Sir, can I partner
with Pimento on my B&E?Copy !req
43. That guy is awesome.Copy !req
44. He's like a real-life
Donnie Brasco.Copy !req
45. Isn't Donnie Brasco a really
sad movie that ends terribly?Copy !req
46. Yeah, but he's got
that cool jacket,Copy !req
47. and he's always down
at the docks.Copy !req
48. I'm not sure I want you
working with Pimento.Copy !req
49. He's a little unstable.Copy !req
50. Machine!Copy !req
51. Psychologically, this could beCopy !req
52. a very difficult transition.Copy !req
53. Yeah, I know,
I went undercover.Copy !req
54. Sixty-three days, no big deal.
You probably forgot.Copy !req
55. No, it's your outgoing
voice mail message.Copy !req
56. Hey, it's
Jake. Can't get to the phone right now.Copy !req
57. I might be undercover again,
like I was for 63 days. Bye!Copy !req
58. Look, I know what
he's going through.Copy !req
59. Let me be the manCopy !req
60. that brings him in
from the cold.Copy !req
61. All right, he can work
the B&E with you.Copy !req
62. Just make sure
you take it easy.Copy !req
63. Uh... Sir, I was 20 minutes
late for work today.Copy !req
64. I don't think you need to
tell me about taking it easy.Copy !req
65. Are you bragging about
being a bad employee?Copy !req
66. No.Copy !req
67. Dismissed? Me?Copy !req
68. I figured outCopy !req
69. the best way to welcomeCopy !req
70. Pimento to the Nine-Nine.Copy !req
71. Stay out of his way,
maybe buy him a drink,Copy !req
72. not do anything weird?Copy !req
73. I'm making him
a goat stew.Copy !req
74. Huh. All right.Copy !req
75. Yeah, now,
this Turkmenistani dishCopy !req
76. is traditionally made from an
animal that's been so overfedCopy !req
77. it can no longer stand.Copy !req
78. That's the dream.Copy !req
79. Everything is authentic.Copy !req
80. I even ordered the pressure
cooker from Turkmenistan.Copy !req
81. So, you're on a terrorist
watch list now?Copy !req
82. Oh, yeah, Homeland Security's
been to my house, yep.Copy !req
83. Now, this just needs to cook for
another 11 hours, 32 minutes, and six...Copy !req
84. What the hell, Boyle!
You almost killed me!Copy !req
85. I'm not going out in
a stew-making accident!Copy !req
86. Terry's gonna die
saving the President,Copy !req
87. or Terry's never
gonna die!Copy !req
88. There's no way
we can clean this up by ourselves.Copy !req
89. We're gonna need help.Copy !req
90. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What are you saying?Copy !req
91. You know what
she's saying, man.Copy !req
92. Oh, no.Copy !req
93. Mean Marge.Copy !req
94. So, we're supposed to come
running to clean up your messCopy !req
95. every time you snap
your fat little fingers?Copy !req
96. Oh, no, no, I actually can't snap
my fingers, they're always too wet.Copy !req
97. And I just thought,
since it's your job...Copy !req
98. Oh, I see.Copy !req
99. You cops think you're too good
to clean up after yourselves?Copy !req
100. No, I can do it myself,Copy !req
101. I'll just...Copy !req
102. How dare you try
to steal our jobs?Copy !req
103. So, where do
we go from here?Copy !req
104. Well, you know
the old saying,Copy !req
105. "The only way to unclog
a toilet is to let it sit."Copy !req
106. You're a janitor. You
should know that's not true.Copy !req
107. Boys, take out the trash.Copy !req
108. Oh, great!
So, you will do it?Copy !req
109. Oh, I'm the trash, I get it. Okay,
that makes more sense with your tone.Copy !req
110. Love you, Marge.Copy !req
111. You wanted to
see me, sir?Copy !req
112. Yes,
I have a special project for you.Copy !req
113. Okay, but I'll have you know
right now I only fly first class.Copy !req
114. I'm not
flying you anywhere.Copy !req
115. I made an application to
the M.C. Guffin FoundationCopy !req
116. for a grant to upgrade
our office equipment.Copy !req
117. Unfortunately, they require
a video submission.Copy !req
118. I understand you have some
filmmaking experience.Copy !req
119. Well, you know,
I've been re-Vined by Rob Kardashian,Copy !req
120. so, yeah,
I'm a director.Copy !req
121. Here's what I'm picturing, I enter,
in, like, a Fellini-style getup.Copy !req
122. Rosa's dressed
like a porcupine...Copy !req
123. Oh, no,
no. We're just gonna do a simple,Copy !req
124. straightforward tour
of the precinctCopy !req
125. featuring
Detective Diaz and me.Copy !req
126. Are you sure?Copy !req
127. You're not our most
dynamic screen presences.Copy !req
128. I can be dynamic.
Exclamation point.Copy !req
129. Well, Diaz and I have
that kind of easy chemistryCopy !req
130. where we finish
each other's...Copy !req
131. Please,
don't interrupt me.Copy !req
132. That kind of nonsense
won't happen on camera.Copy !req
133. Hey, hey, Pimento.Copy !req
134. Hey! This is
my desk, okay?Copy !req
135. Okay, well, now that
that's out of the way,Copy !req
136. I was just coming to let you know
we're gonna work a B&E together.Copy !req
137. We're gonna be partners.Copy !req
138. Nope. I work alone.Copy !req
139. Plus, The Butcher says
he has spies in the NYPD,Copy !req
140. so I trust none
of these dildos.Copy !req
141. Listen, you can trust me.
I'm, like, obsessed with you.Copy !req
142. Fine. Tell me something
you've never told another living soul.Copy !req
143. Um... Ooh, here's one.Copy !req
144. I'm actually not strong
enough to lift a water cooler jug,Copy !req
145. so I always find a way
to make Terry do it.Copy !req
146. Here's mine. Jimmy "The Butcher"
made me drive a croquet wicketCopy !req
147. through a guy's eyes
into his brain.Copy !req
148. Brain leaked out his eyes like
he was crying his own mind.Copy !req
149. My goodness.Copy !req
150. Now that I've heard yours,Copy !req
151. I feel like
my water cooler thingCopy !req
152. could have been
a little more juicy, but...Copy !req
153. No. That was
embarrassing for you.Copy !req
154. A bond has been made.Copy !req
155. Feels good to
trust again, brother.Copy !req
156. Wow, either
you are a cyborgCopy !req
157. or you're carrying so
many weapons in this jacket.Copy !req
158. Hey. Kitchen, now.Copy !req
159. Okay.Copy !req
160. What's up?Copy !req
161. Why, just because he
keeps threatening to kill meCopy !req
162. in the middle of a police precinct? Uh,
grow up.Copy !req
163. Because I'm physically
attracted to him.Copy !req
164. And that's bad?Copy !req
165. I'm only attracted
to creeps.Copy !req
166. The Vulture,
the ShamWow Guy,Copy !req
167. and when I was a kid,
I had a major crush on the evil Gremlin.Copy !req
168. Stripe? Are you crazy?Copy !req
169. Yeah, well I'm not
gonna bone Gizmo.Copy !req
170. I would.Copy !req
171. It's gonna be fine.Copy !req
172. Hey, partner.Copy !req
173. I've been waiting
for you.Copy !req
174. Sorry if
I surprised you.Copy !req
175. It's just when I was undercover,
the middle of the nightCopy !req
176. was the only time I could
do actual police work.Copy !req
177. Uh, how'd you get
in the apartment?Copy !req
178. Oh, it was easy.Copy !req
179. I just seduced
the old lady upstairs,Copy !req
180. came down the fire escape,
jimmied the window open.Copy !req
181. Bing-bang-boom,
I'm inside your living quarters.Copy !req
182. Totally.Copy !req
183. Course, next time you could
just give me a call, you know.Copy !req
184. Two ways to pop in
on a friend.Copy !req
185. I didn't kill
the old lady upstairs,Copy !req
186. if that's what
you're worried about.Copy !req
187. Well, I am now.Copy !req
188. Oh, wait a minute.
You think I'm being weird.Copy !req
189. Oh, I shouldn't have come
here. This is your apartment.Copy !req
190. I'm so sorry, Jake!Copy !req
191. Stupid, Paul!
Stupid! You idiot, Paul!Copy !req
192. Hey! Pimento!Copy !req
193. Who's Paul?Copy !req
194. Paul Sneed was
my undercover name. 'Kay?Copy !req
195. Damn it,
Jake. I don't know who I am anymore.Copy !req
196. You could have chose
any name to go undercover,Copy !req
197. and you picked Paul Sneed?
Seems kind of crazy.Copy !req
198. I shouldn't have come here.
This was a mistake. I'm not ready.Copy !req
199. I knew I wasn't ready
to go back to being police.Copy !req
200. It's the only job I've ever had
except for bagging groceriesCopy !req
201. at the supermarket at the
corner of Atlantic and Clinton.Copy !req
202. I guess I could
go back to that again.Copy !req
203. "Paper or plastic?"Copy !req
204. Yeah, still got it.Copy !req
205. Listen to me,
I was undercover.Copy !req
206. Sixty-three days
with the Mafia.Copy !req
207. I saw some
messed-up stuff.Copy !req
208. I know what
your struggle is.Copy !req
209. And I can bring you home,
but you've got to trust me.Copy !req
210. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
211. Great. Now, I've got to
get some sleep.Copy !req
212. You're welcome to stay here
and work the case if you want.Copy !req
213. Thanks, partner. I promise
I won't disturb you at all.Copy !req
214. Hey, Pimento.Copy !req
215. I thought you were just gonna
be looking through the filesCopy !req
216. or something, man.Copy !req
217. Sorry, brother. Tai chi helps
keep the demons at bay.Copy !req
218. Right.Copy !req
219. And...Copy !req
220. Do you have to do it
in your underwear?Copy !req
221. I can't take them off,Copy !req
222. 'cause then you'd be looking
right at my penis and testicles.Copy !req
223. Can't argue with
that logic. Okay.Copy !req
224. Why is there so
much garbage in here?Copy !req
225. Mean Marge
won't clean up the stew.Copy !req
226. And also, she suspended
our trash service.Copy !req
227. What happened? You didn't grovel enough,
did you?Copy !req
228. Seriously, Amy,Copy !req
229. you're gonna ask
Charles BoyleCopy !req
230. if he groveled enough?
Come on!Copy !req
231. This is the grossest
thing I've ever seen,Copy !req
232. and I have three kids
under the age of four.Copy !req
233. I live in a house
of fluids.Copy !req
234. Look, I have a plan, okay?Copy !req
235. We're just gonna go over Mean
Marge's head and we're gonna tell Holt.Copy !req
236. Tell me what?Copy !req
237. Well, I don't know
if you noticed,Copy !req
238. but there was an accident
in the break room yesterday.Copy !req
239. Oh, yes, shattered windows,
bones everywhere.Copy !req
240. It's very "New York in
the '70s." Clean it up.Copy !req
241. The problem is Marge in
facilities is refusing to help.Copy !req
242. We were actually hoping
maybe you could ask her.Copy !req
243. Excuse me? I'm the captain
of this precinct.Copy !req
244. I don't have time to mediate
your petty squabbles.Copy !req
245. I've taken a sacred oath
to protect this community,Copy !req
246. and that is a job
I take seriously.Copy !req
247. So, you're afraid
of her, too, huh?Copy !req
248. Terrified.Copy !req
249. Yeah, perp knew
where the camera was.Copy !req
250. Must have cased
the joint ahead of time.Copy !req
251. We're gonna need all your
footage from the past week.Copy !req
252. This is an amateur job.Copy !req
253. Everybody knows you break
in when the owner's there.Copy !req
254. That way you have
guaranteed access to the safe,Copy !req
255. and you can kick his teeth in
to send a message.Copy !req
256. Okay, why don't
you just...Copy !req
257. Oh, sure, you could
slit his throat,Copy !req
258. but then what are you
going to do with all the blood?Copy !req
259. Uh, we'd leave it
in his body,Copy !req
260. where blood lives,
because we're cops.Copy !req
261. Oh, right, we're cops.
And don't worry, sir.Copy !req
262. We're gonna catch these bastards,
or my name isn't Paul Sneed.Copy !req
263. Adrian Pimento.Copy !req
264. So, what'd they take?Copy !req
265. About $15,000
worth of stuff.Copy !req
266. TVs, cameras,
bunch of prepaid cell phones.Copy !req
267. Ooh, you sell
burner phones?Copy !req
268. What kind of deals
you got on those?Copy !req
269. Why do you want to
know about the deals?Copy !req
270. Just gathering evidence for the case,
'cause I'm a cop, remember?Copy !req
271. Detective Paul Sneed.Copy !req
272. Adrian Pimento.Copy !req
273. Adrian...
I know who I am.Copy !req
274. You know what,
forget this!Copy !req
275. Ah, okay.Copy !req
276. Hey, hey, hey,
come on, man.Copy !req
277. Look, I get it,
you're still tense.Copy !req
278. When I came back from being undercover,
they made me see a shrink.Copy !req
279. But then he told me I had dad issues,
and I was like,Copy !req
280. "You know what,
you can't tell me what to do,Copy !req
281. "you're not my dad,"
so he was a moron.Copy !req
282. No, you know what,
that's good advice. Thanks, man, thanks.Copy !req
283. I'll be right back,
I just left something inside.Copy !req
284. Hey, give me
one of those.Copy !req
285. Why are you buying
a burner phone?Copy !req
286. Cue smoke machine.Copy !req
287. And action Holt.Copy !req
288. Welcome to the Nine-Nine.
I'm Captain Raymond Holt.Copy !req
289. And I'm Detective Rosa Diaz.Copy !req
290. I don't understand
why I'm on a wheelchair.Copy !req
291. Cut!Copy !req
292. For the last time, Rosa,
through the magic of special effects,Copy !req
293. the wheelchair
will turn into a horse,Copy !req
294. but I need you
to work with me.Copy !req
295. Give me a little
"Hee-yah! Hee-yah!"Copy !req
296. This is idiotic.Copy !req
297. Maybe because you didn't
karate chop your wayCopy !req
298. through the smoke,
as scripted.Copy !req
299. I'm out. Scully.Copy !req
300. Rosa!Copy !req
301. Hee-yah. Hee-yah.Copy !req
302. I wanted a simple, straightforward
video tour of the precinct,Copy !req
303. and you've added the one
ingredient I didn't want, pizzazz.Copy !req
304. Pizzazz is who I am.Copy !req
305. Would you tell the sky
to stop being so blue?Copy !req
306. Yes. I wish it were tan.Copy !req
307. It's my favorite color.
It's no-nonsense.Copy !req
308. Hey, I've been tailing Pimento,
and I think you were right.Copy !req
309. There's something weird
going on with that guy.Copy !req
310. I knew it. Ugh!Copy !req
311. I can't believe
I'm gonna sleep with him.Copy !req
312. Well, you don't have to.Copy !req
313. No, I'm gonna.Copy !req
314. He secretly bought a burner
phone, he broke into my apartment,Copy !req
315. and he keeps forgetting
he's a copCopy !req
316. and calling himself
by his alias, Paul Sneed.Copy !req
317. "Paul Sneed"?Copy !req
318. He said Figgis
has spies in the NYPD.Copy !req
319. Rosa, what if he's one of
them? What if he turned?Copy !req
320. Oh, here he comes.Copy !req
321. Oh, man, bolt cutters?Copy !req
322. Bolt cutters have literally never
been used by an innocent person.Copy !req
323. I use them all the time
when I make jewelry.Copy !req
324. Oh, my God.
Follow-up questions later.Copy !req
325. All right, I got to
keep following him.Copy !req
326. All right,
but be careful.Copy !req
327. Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll be invisible.Copy !req
328. Now, you see me,
now you...Copy !req
329. We're cool, we're cool.Copy !req
330. Everything's still cool.
He didn't hear me, we're cool.Copy !req
331. Rosa. Pimento just
put on a ski maskCopy !req
332. and broke into a creepy
abandoned warehouse.Copy !req
333. Mmm, that's hot.Copy !req
334. Oh, wait,
he's coming back out.Copy !req
335. Did he do something
super shady?Copy !req
336. Are his eyes all wild?Copy !req
337. Sorry. Send a pic. Bye.Copy !req
338. Okay, guess
we're done talking.Copy !req
339. Well, they still haven't
cleaned up in there,Copy !req
340. but the good news is
I got a new plan.Copy !req
341. I let one of the perpsCopy !req
342. accidentally get out
of holding,Copy !req
343. then I take him down to
the break room. Oopsie.Copy !req
344. Now it's a whole
crime scene.Copy !req
345. And then we can get
crime scene cleaners.Copy !req
346. Boom.Copy !req
347. That room gets clean
when I say it gets cleaned.Copy !req
348. You can't stop us now.Copy !req
349. You ever heard
the old saying,Copy !req
350. "Know the garbage,
know the man"?Copy !req
351. That's not a saying.Copy !req
352. Yes, it is.Copy !req
353. I know all your secrets.Copy !req
354. Boyle.Copy !req
355. You got a taste
for fast food.Copy !req
356. Those aren't mine.Copy !req
357. I only eat
locally-sourced meats.Copy !req
358. They could be Terry's.
He was fat once, you know?Copy !req
359. What the hell, Boyle?Copy !req
360. Speaking of Jeffords,Copy !req
361. maybe your daughters
would like to knowCopy !req
362. that their daddy throws
away all their drawings?Copy !req
363. They just draw so many,
and they're all so bad.Copy !req
364. And you, Santiago,Copy !req
365. maybe the world would like
to see that draft of a memoCopy !req
366. you wrote where you used
T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?Copy !req
367. Oh, you sick
son of a bitch.Copy !req
368. Why do you hate us
so much?Copy !req
369. I know you call me
Mean Marge.Copy !req
370. Do you even know
my last name, hmm?Copy !req
371. Mop-Bucket?Copy !req
372. Please.Copy !req
373. Guys, guys, guys,
guys, guys.Copy !req
374. "Mop-Bucket," Scully?Copy !req
375. It was an educated guess.Copy !req
376. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
377. Pimento put
the duffel in his trunk,Copy !req
378. parked around the corner,
and went home.Copy !req
379. He's been doing shirtless tai
chi in his window ever since.Copy !req
380. Which window is that?Copy !req
381. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
382. Okay. Look, I got to
get into that trunk.Copy !req
383. And you need me to
break into the car for you?Copy !req
384. What? No, I can do it.
Why would you say that?Copy !req
385. Because one time you lost your
keys and you called a tow truck.Copy !req
386. My mom pays for
roadside assistance.Copy !req
387. Why wouldn't I call it?
I'm doing this.Copy !req
388. Okay, great take. You
guys are finally getting it.Copy !req
389. All right, let's go again.Copy !req
390. Action Holt!Copy !req
391. Welcome to the Nine-Nine.
I'm Captain Raymond Holt.Copy !req
392. And I'm Detective
Rosa Diaz. Hee-yah.Copy !req
393. What the hell is this?Copy !req
394. You had a pizzazz problem,Copy !req
395. so you've been
recast, sweetie.Copy !req
396. Welcome to Hollywood.Copy !req
397. You know, David here
really connected with the role.Copy !req
398. The key is to invent a
backstory for your character.Copy !req
399. Now, my Raymond Holt is
addicted to pills, but no one knows.Copy !req
400. You see, he really
understands the craft,Copy !req
401. whereas you and Rosa
just sort of flop aroundCopy !req
402. like a couple
of boring normals.Copy !req
403. I'm sorry, but we're detectives,
not professional actors.Copy !req
404. We were trying
our hardest.Copy !req
405. "We were trying
our hardest."Copy !req
406. Gina, this is a disgrace.
I'm removing you as director.Copy !req
407. There he goes.Copy !req
408. Off to take more pills.Copy !req
409. Oh, yeah. Suck it,
roadside assistance.Copy !req
410. Well, well, well.Copy !req
411. Hello, Jake.Copy !req
412. Adrian, what a coincidence
bumping into you here.Copy !req
413. Well, see you tomorrow.Copy !req
414. You know what,
let's hang out now.Copy !req
415. I was thinking the exact
same thing.Copy !req
416. What are you
doing here, partner?Copy !req
417. Pimento's still in the window.Copy !req
418. Come on, Jake.Copy !req
419. You honestly didn't assume
I would hire a look-alikeCopy !req
420. to wear a fake beard
and do tai chi in my window?Copy !req
421. No, I definitely
didn't assume that.Copy !req
422. And plus, you seriously
thought that was me?Copy !req
423. I mean, you've seen me in my
underpants. My butt is rock hard.Copy !req
424. That guy's
got a pancake butt.Copy !req
425. I can't believe you're still
working for Figgis.Copy !req
426. That's why you've been
acting so weird.Copy !req
427. Breaking into my apartment, buying
a burner phone, grabbing this duffel.Copy !req
428. I broke into your apartment
'cause I didn't feel safe at my home.Copy !req
429. Okay.Copy !req
430. Is the only kind
of phone I can getCopy !req
431. because I disappeared
for 12 years,Copy !req
432. and now
have terrible credit.Copy !req
433. You want to know
what's in the duffel?Copy !req
434. Open it up, tough guy.Copy !req
435. Oh, look at that.Copy !req
436. A bunch of old family photos,
and personal belongings.Copy !req
437. Pimento's mementos.Copy !req
438. I know you have a gun on me. I
just couldn't resist the rhyme, sorry.Copy !req
439. I stashed it all when
I became Paul Sneed.Copy !req
440. I couldn't have them
finding anythingCopy !req
441. that could
trace back to my family.Copy !req
442. I get it, all right?Copy !req
443. I went through the exact
same thing when I came back.Copy !req
444. You have no clue
what I've been through!Copy !req
445. You know what?Copy !req
446. I can't believe
I trusted you.Copy !req
447. Okay.Copy !req
448. Just get out
of here, Jake.Copy !req
449. Oh, my God, this guy's
got a pancake butt.Copy !req
450. It's not Pimento.
Get out of there, Jake!Copy !req
451. Thanks, Rosa.Copy !req
452. So, Detective Pimento
didn't show up for work today.Copy !req
453. Any idea why?Copy !req
454. I straight-up
drove him off.Copy !req
455. Big screw-up on my part.Copy !req
456. I'm trying this new thing
where I just own my mistakes.Copy !req
457. I like it. Do you?Copy !req
458. Until you bragged about it.Copy !req
459. Pimento left his gun,
and badge on my desk,Copy !req
460. along with a note reading, "I can't
do this. I'm better off as a bagman."Copy !req
461. Oh, no.Copy !req
462. You think he went back
to work with Figgis?Copy !req
463. Worse.Copy !req
464. Fine, single bag it.Copy !req
465. It's your funeral,
you dumb son of a bitch.Copy !req
466. Get out of here.Copy !req
467. Idiot.Copy !req
468. Hey, partner.Copy !req
469. Actually, cashiers and bag
boys need to be totally in sync...Copy !req
470. Shut up, Maggie.Copy !req
471. Look, man, you sacrificed
12 years of your lifeCopy !req
472. for the police department,
you're a hero.Copy !req
473. I'm sorry that
I didn't trust you.Copy !req
474. Yeah. Me, too.Copy !req
475. Look, can I tell you something
I've never told anyone before?Copy !req
476. My time undercover in the
Mafia was actually kind of lame.Copy !req
477. I mean, I wanted it
to be badass,Copy !req
478. but I'm good at computers,
so I mostly just helped themCopy !req
479. switch over from AOL.Copy !req
480. I have no idea
what you're going through.Copy !req
481. And I want to tell you that it's
all gonna go back to normal,Copy !req
482. but honestly,
I have no clue.Copy !req
483. Anyways, the footage came back
on that B&E, and we've got a suspect.Copy !req
484. I'm going to bust him right
now if you want to come with me.Copy !req
485. Why don't you give me those
eggs? I'll put them on top here.Copy !req
486. Okay.Copy !req
487. What was that about?
What happened to you?Copy !req
488. Maggie, butt out!
Okay? This is my life!Copy !req
489. So, I just received word from
our friend at the Guff in Foundation.Copy !req
490. Apparently they loved
our video submission.Copy !req
491. What did you send them?Copy !req
492. A cinematic masterpiece
is what I sent them.Copy !req
493. Did it feature pizzazz?Copy !req
494. No, none at all, sir.Copy !req
495. First, I couldn't wrap my
head around that concept,Copy !req
496. but then I realized,Copy !req
497. do you know which dogs get
the most likes on the Internet?Copy !req
498. Anatolian Shepherds.Copy !req
499. No, ugly little runtsCopy !req
500. with wonky eyes, and tongues
that won't stay in their mouths.Copy !req
501. But the Anatolian Shepherd is
unrivaled for protecting livestock.Copy !req
502. I was trying to wow them,Copy !req
503. and I should have just been
showcasing our wonk-eye.Copy !req
504. We were trying
our hardest, but this is a disgrace.Copy !req
505. Disgrace, disgrace.Copy !req
506. And that's real audio of
your very real diva meltdown.Copy !req
507. You might just make it
as an actor after all.Copy !req
508. Well done, Linetti.Copy !req
509. Sergeant Linetti. I had the
fake Holt give me a promotion.Copy !req
510. He signed the papers
and everything.Copy !req
511. What do you want?Copy !req
512. To tell you that we will officially be
renaming the fourth-floor break roomCopy !req
513. "The Marge Bronigan
Break Room."Copy !req
514. Well, looks like somebody
did their homework.Copy !req
515. It was me. I did it.Copy !req
516. So, what's the catch?Copy !req
517. The ceremony starts
in two hours.Copy !req
518. Now, I know our squad
is not in the janitor's union,Copy !req
519. but it'd sure be nice
if we were allowedCopy !req
520. to clean the place up
before then.Copy !req
521. We cleaned up the stew,Copy !req
522. which means the Marge
Bronigan Break RoomCopy !req
523. is open for business.Copy !req
524. Okay, we'll take out your trash,
do normal cleaning,Copy !req
525. but no big messes.Copy !req
526. Great! Time for
the christening.Copy !req
527. Oh, crap.Copy !req
528. Congratulations.Copy !req
529. Perp is on the third floor.
Everyone know your assignment?Copy !req
530. Mind if I tag along?Copy !req
531. Pimento?Copy !req
532. I thought about it.Copy !req
533. If you say things
will get back to normal,Copy !req
534. then I trust you.Copy !req
535. All right.Copy !req
536. Let's do this.
You're with me, partner.Copy !req
537. NYPD! You're under arrest!Copy !req
538. You're gonna die!Copy !req
539. No, Pimento! No!Copy !req