1. Peralta, are you eating
an Italian sub for breakfast?Copy !req
2. I am,
but Amy said I should eat more veggies,Copy !req
3. so I got extra
pepperoncinis.Copy !req
4. Smart.Copy !req
5. Excuse me. You
need to watch yourself.Copy !req
6. I'm sorry. Cop.Copy !req
7. All right,
let's everybody just stay calm here.Copy !req
8. Or what?Copy !req
9. Are you gonna
arrest me for dancing?Copy !req
10. You call that dancing?Copy !req
11. This is dancing.Copy !req
12. What is happening?Copy !req
13. I'm defusing
the situation.Copy !req
14. Whoa! Dancing
Captain.Copy !req
15. Must capture
image of a lifetime!Copy !req
16. Oh! Why is my
phone always dead?Copy !req
17. I paid $13 for it.Copy !req
18. Don't worry, Jakey.
I got it.Copy !req
19. Okay. Oh!
Ahh!Copy !req
20. My hands are covered in
butter from making butter.Copy !req
21. I'm on it!Copy !req
22. Must record,
must record!Copy !req
23. Camera on. All
right. Here we go.Copy !req
24. Dancing over.Copy !req
25. Situation defused.Copy !req
26. No!Copy !req
27. Jakey!Copy !req
28. Hey!Copy !req
29. Are you guys
wearing one scarf?Copy !req
30. Yep, Charles forgot
his this morning.Copy !req
31. It's actually
quite romantic.Copy !req
32. I think he did it
on purpose.Copy !req
33. Uh, let's
just say,Copy !req
34. I definitely
did it on purpose.Copy !req
35. Now,
twirl me, darling!Copy !req
36. You got it,
sweet potato.Copy !req
37. I can't get
away from you.Copy !req
38. All right,
you guys are adorable.Copy !req
39. Tell me everything
the doctor saysCopy !req
40. about your
uterine climate.Copy !req
41. Oh, and also that.Copy !req
42. Genevieve and
I have big news.Copy !req
43. Is this something other
people would keep private?Copy !req
44. Big time! We're
trying to have a baby!Copy !req
45. Oh!Copy !req
46. Wow! That is awesome.Copy !req
47. But wait, Charles,Copy !req
48. I thought you
were sterile.Copy !req
49. I distinctly remember
you using the phrase...Copy !req
50. Shooting dust.Copy !req
51. Yes, thank you for
not making me say it.Copy !req
52. Yeah, it's true
I lost the abilityCopy !req
53. to procreate
after the accident.Copy !req
54. Drop your weapons!Copy !req
55. Yeah, I still don't know
why you dove in crotch-first.Copy !req
56. Thankfully,
my ex-wife,Copy !req
57. Eleanor, made me
get a vasectomyCopy !req
58. a year before that.Copy !req
59. As a precaution,
I froze some sperm...Copy !req
60. A lot of sperm.Copy !req
61. Guy going in
after me was like,Copy !req
62. "Whoa! Nice!"Copy !req
63. Wow! He sounds
like a gross dude.Copy !req
64. Yeah. Should we go into work?Copy !req
65. Yes.
Great.Copy !req
66. Hey, so do you
think maybeCopy !req
67. you're rushing into
the whole baby thing?Copy !req
68. I mean, you guys have only
been dating three months.Copy !req
69. She's the one, Jake.Copy !req
70. I'm done with that
playboy lifestyle,Copy !req
71. out till 11:00,
drunk on sangria.Copy !req
72. I don't want
that anymore.Copy !req
73. I just want
to be a papa.Copy !req
74. Okay, yeah,
so, hey, this is awesome.Copy !req
75. You're gonna
have a baby.Copy !req
76. I know!Copy !req
77. And you're gonna be
its best friend.Copy !req
78. Ah, well,
based on the age diff,Copy !req
79. maybe more of
a fun uncle/mentor.Copy !req
80. Baby's best friend.Copy !req
81. All right, so,
non-negotiable.Copy !req
82. Here's the
deal, Steven.Copy !req
83. We already got you
on shoplifting.Copy !req
84. Now let's talk about
the 200 clonedCopy !req
85. credit cards
in your bag.Copy !req
86. I'm not saying anything.Copy !req
87. Look, punk, there are
two ways we can do this.Copy !req
88. The easy way,
or the hard way.Copy !req
89. Tell him what
the hard way is, boss.Copy !req
90. Well, first,
Steven,Copy !req
91. we're gonna fill out form 38E-J 1,
stating noncompliance.Copy !req
92. We send it
to the DA,Copy !req
93. but do they process
it right away?Copy !req
94. No, because
they're overwhelmedCopy !req
95. because Debra's
on maternity leave.Copy !req
96. So your court date won't
be set for six or eight weeks,Copy !req
97. and even then, you're gonna
have to block off the whole day,Copy !req
98. because they don't
give you a specific time.Copy !req
99. No, no,
it's a window.Copy !req
100. Sir.Copy !req
101. Can I talk to
you for a second?Copy !req
102. I thought we were
gonna try to scare him.Copy !req
103. There's nothing scarier than the
realities of the municipal court system.Copy !req
104. Now, come on,
let's get back in thereCopy !req
105. and tell him about
how bad the website is.Copy !req
106. Look, I'll talk.Copy !req
107. Of course you will.Copy !req
108. But I'll only
talk to her.Copy !req
109. You want
to talk to Gina?Copy !req
110. Yeah, hi. Do you
sell purple pants?Copy !req
111. All right,
well, good day, then.Copy !req
112. It's not the turnout
I was hoping for.Copy !req
113. Maybe I should've
offered free strudel,Copy !req
114. then at least
Scully would've come.Copy !req
115. There's free
strudel?Copy !req
116. Where the hell
did you come from?Copy !req
117. I don't get it. I am
shocked that more peopleCopy !req
118. wouldn't want the
tutelage of our precinct's...Copy !req
119. Nay, our city's
most esteemed sergeant.Copy !req
120. What do you want,
Santiago?Copy !req
121. To learn the majestic
art of self-defenseCopy !req
122. from our city's...
Nay, our country's...Copy !req
123. Come on, man,
out with it!Copy !req
124. I want to start class.Copy !req
125. Okay, I'm applying
for a mentorship programCopy !req
126. for up-and-coming
detectives.Copy !req
127. It's called "Star Achieving Mentors,
Star Achieving Mentees,"Copy !req
128. or SAM-SAM for short.Copy !req
129. Would you write me
a recommendation?Copy !req
130. Of course I will.
You'd be great.Copy !req
131. Thank you, Sarge.Copy !req
132. All right,
everyone.Copy !req
133. Pay attention.Copy !req
134. Santiago, I'm gonna come at you,
and you're gonna take me down.Copy !req
135. You better impress
me if you wantCopy !req
136. that recommendation
to be good.Copy !req
137. I'm gonna try, Sarge.Copy !req
138. All right,
here we go.Copy !req
139. No, no!
My nose!Copy !req
140. My nose!
You broke my nose!Copy !req
141. Oh,
there's so much blood! I'm so sorry!Copy !req
142. Get me a towel!
Okay, all right.Copy !req
143. And that's what you get
for lying about free strudel.Copy !req
144. Karma's a bitch.Copy !req
145. Get out of here, Scully!Copy !req
146. Case closed,
justice served.Copy !req
147. Peralta amazing...
Oh, God.Copy !req
148. No, no...Copy !req
149. Charles, Charles!Copy !req
150. Your ex-wife
is here.Copy !req
151. Eleanor?Copy !req
152. The destroyer
of worlds?Copy !req
153. Why?
Maybe it's nothing bad.Copy !req
154. Maybe some of your mail
got sent to her house.Copy !req
155. Oh, God, I hope not.Copy !req
156. If that happened,
she would be livid.Copy !req
157. Oh, well, just don't assume
the worst. That's all I'm saying.Copy !req
158. Then why did you
bring up the mail thing?Copy !req
159. I don't...Copy !req
160. Hello, Chunk.Copy !req
161. Heard you want
your sperm.Copy !req
162. You're gonna have
to go through me.Copy !req
163. Oh, no,
this is way worse than the mail thing.Copy !req
164. What mail thing? Nothing.
There's no mail thing.Copy !req
165. There's no mail thing.
But it's my sperm.Copy !req
166. How did you even
find out I wanted it?Copy !req
167. Because the account's
under my name.Copy !req
168. Storage facility
called me saying thatCopy !req
169. you were looking
to make a withdrawal.Copy !req
170. So I went ahead
and withdrew it for you.Copy !req
171. I have
all of your sperm.Copy !req
172. But you don't even
care about it, Eleanor.Copy !req
173. I mean, remember?Copy !req
174. "Oh, hey, Charles,Copy !req
175. "I'll never have
a baby with youCopy !req
176. "because I don't love you,
and a child's not gonna fix that!"Copy !req
177. Oof. When he started
doing the silly voice,Copy !req
178. I thought it was gonna be more fun,
but wasn't.Copy !req
179. Well, I do not want your
DNA. I want something else.Copy !req
180. I hit some dumb-ass with
my car. Now he's suing me.Copy !req
181. What I want is for
you to use your badgeCopy !req
182. and your gun to intimidate
him into dropping the case.Copy !req
183. Wow, that is so
very illegal.Copy !req
184. He's not
doing that.Copy !req
185. I don't care. You
have 48 hours to do so,Copy !req
186. or I'm gonna take
your sperm,Copy !req
187. and I'm gonna dump it
into the East River.Copy !req
188. Please don't do that.Copy !req
189. And there will
never be the possibilityCopy !req
190. of a little pie-faced
Charles Boyle Jr.Copy !req
191. Proud of it,
it's me.Copy !req
192. She can't do that.
Can she do that?Copy !req
193. Stay calm.Copy !req
194. We're gonna talk to a lawyer
and get a professional opinion.Copy !req
195. Damn.Copy !req
196. I can't believe
you signed this contract.Copy !req
197. The sperm is her
legal possession.Copy !req
198. It also says that
she, and I quote,Copy !req
199. "Owns your dignity."Copy !req
200. You initialed
right next to that.Copy !req
201. Oh, no, Jake,
this is a total disaster!Copy !req
202. I'll never be
happy in my life.Copy !req
203. Why are you smiling?Copy !req
204. Because this is exactly
what we've trained for.Copy !req
205. It's a hostage situation,Copy !req
206. and we're gonna
bring your boys home.Copy !req
207. All right, Charles,
I know that you're freaking outCopy !req
208. and you think you're
never gonna be a father,Copy !req
209. but don't worry,
there's no wayCopy !req
210. I'm gonna let Eleanor do
anything to your precious...Copy !req
211. Boyle oil? Ugh. All right,
I'm out.Copy !req
212. She can do what she wants. No,
no, no.Copy !req
213. We'll just
call them hostages.Copy !req
214. All right, fine,
let's get to work.Copy !req
215. Here's what we know
about Eleanor.Copy !req
216. Oh, my wedding day.Copy !req
217. I should've known
it was a mistakeCopy !req
218. when she said, "I suppose,"
instead of, "I do."Copy !req
219. Yowch. All right.Copy !req
220. Hostage taker,
Eleanor Horstweil.Copy !req
221. Age, 42. Occupation,
bank manager.Copy !req
222. No priors.
Clean bill of health.Copy !req
223. Current husband,
Hercules Thikalonos.Copy !req
224. Don't bring him into it.
We're actually quite close.Copy !req
225. Noted. You
divorced in 2010.Copy !req
226. She got the house,
both cars,Copy !req
227. and 85% of your
salary going forward.Copy !req
228. That's a typo, right?Copy !req
229. It is not. How did
she get so much?Copy !req
230. My lawyer was Hercules.
That's how they met.Copy !req
231. That seems
real unethical.Copy !req
232. Again, lay off Hercules.
He's quite a decent man.Copy !req
233. All right, look,
we need some sort of bargaining chip.Copy !req
234. Is there anything you got in
the divorce that she wanted?Copy !req
235. Yes. Abigail.Copy !req
236. I'm gonna just assume
Abigail's something super weird.Copy !req
237. Nope. She was
our hairdresser.Copy !req
238. Okay.Copy !req
239. It was awkward for her to see
both of us, so she made us choose.Copy !req
240. I mean, I couldn't
get rid of her.Copy !req
241. She's the only stylist
in New York that can do this.Copy !req
242. Right, and do you think
Eleanor still wants Abigail?Copy !req
243. I mean, you saw
her hair today.Copy !req
244. It's all volume,
no sheen.Copy !req
245. Okay,
maybe we can use this.Copy !req
246. Time to put on
our negotiation faces.Copy !req
247. Not too intimidating
but always in control.Copy !req
248. How's this?Copy !req
249. Oh, as if you don't
know it's perfect.Copy !req
250. Hey, Sergeant.Copy !req
251. How are you?Copy !req
252. Well, my baby cries
at the sightCopy !req
253. of my face now,
so that's great.Copy !req
254. I mean, she's a baby,Copy !req
255. she could be crying
at anything.Copy !req
256. Nope, she pointed right at
my nose and then threw up.Copy !req
257. What do you want,
Santiago?Copy !req
258. I was just wondering
if you finishedCopy !req
259. writing that
recommendation letter.Copy !req
260. It's due pretty soon.Copy !req
261. I'm working on it.Copy !req
262. It's taking a little while
because it's hard to concentrate,Copy !req
263. what with all the agony.Copy !req
264. Okay, well, thank you
for still doing it.Copy !req
265. If it helps,
I brought you some soothing ginger tea.Copy !req
266. Will it repair the place where
my nose came off my skull?Copy !req
267. I don't know,Copy !req
268. but it's supposed to
have healing vapors.Copy !req
269. So try inhaling it?Copy !req
270. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
271. It burns!
The vapors burn!Copy !req
272. I'm sorry! I'll
take it back!Copy !req
273. Oh, God, I'm sorry!
I'll get some cold water!Copy !req
274. No, no, don't.Copy !req
275. I am petrified of you!Copy !req
276. All right, remember,
this is a negotiation.Copy !req
277. We can't let her know
how badly you want this.Copy !req
278. Jake, what if she
destroys the sperm?Copy !req
279. She's not gonna
do that, Charles,Copy !req
280. because then
she'd have no leverage.Copy !req
281. All right, you know this,
they never shoot the hostage.Copy !req
282. Hey!Copy !req
283. Did you threaten that
90-year-old man for me yet?Copy !req
284. What? The guy
you hit was 90?Copy !req
285. Yeah, and you would know that
if you had talked to him,Copy !req
286. which obviously
you did not, so good-bye!Copy !req
287. No, no,
wait, wait, look.Copy !req
288. We can't help you out
until we know thatCopy !req
289. you actually have
the samples.Copy !req
290. We need proof of life.Copy !req
291. I'd be happy to dump one of
the containers out of the window.Copy !req
292. No, no, no,
don't do that, please!Copy !req
293. Don't dump
my sperm on us!Copy !req
294. Hello,
ma'am. Top of the morning to you.Copy !req
295. All right,
look, if you let us upstairs,Copy !req
296. we'll give you Abigail.Copy !req
297. I'll buzz you in.Copy !req
298. And that is how
it's done.Copy !req
299. Like taking candy
from a baby.Copy !req
300. Why would you
bring up babies right now?Copy !req
301. It's a saying.Copy !req
302. Who would do that?Copy !req
303. The question is,
why would someone want to talk to Gina?Copy !req
304. That's very rude.Copy !req
305. It's obvious why the
guy wants to talk toCopy !req
306. a civilian like her,
he's stalling.Copy !req
307. That's also rude.Copy !req
308. Maybe he wants to
talk to a normal personCopy !req
309. instead of two
rude cops.Copy !req
310. Well, whatever his reason,
we have no other choice.Copy !req
311. Gina, take
his statement.Copy !req
312. Yes, thank you!Copy !req
313. I'm gonna get
this guy to admitCopy !req
314. to crimes he hasn't
even committed.Copy !req
315. No, that would be
a huge problem.Copy !req
316. Copy that.Copy !req
317. We'll get you a file on him
so you can study up.Copy !req
318. That won't be necessary.
I'm gonna go with my gut.Copy !req
319. He asked for Gina.Copy !req
320. Let's give the people
what they want.Copy !req
321. Steven, Steven, Steven.Copy !req
322. You mind if I take
a seat? Go for it.Copy !req
323. Oh, boy.Copy !req
324. Look, I'm not a cop.Copy !req
325. I don't really
like cops.Copy !req
326. Honestly, I think
crime's kind of cool.Copy !req
327. Okay.Copy !req
328. Yeah, you get it.Copy !req
329. Are we still holding out
hope that this might work?Copy !req
330. I am. Let's give
her a shot.Copy !req
331. I feel like you and me
are really bonding.Copy !req
332. I'm ready to
give you immunity.Copy !req
333. No, you're not.
That's not happening!Copy !req
334. Gina, come out
of there.Copy !req
335. Negative.Copy !req
336. The guy wanted to talk to
a real person, not a cop.Copy !req
337. That's why
he asked for me.Copy !req
338. Actually, I asked for youCopy !req
339. because we went
to high school together.Copy !req
340. What?
Steven Henderson.Copy !req
341. We had a bunch
of classes together.Copy !req
342. Steven Henderson. We
made out once on the bus.Copy !req
343. I mean... Do you not
remember me?Copy !req
344. Uh...Copy !req
345. Eleanor.
Jake.Copy !req
346. Charles.Copy !req
347. Okay, you just said
your own name, bud.Copy !req
348. It was the only one left.Copy !req
349. Okay, so we have
given you Abigail.Copy !req
350. Now it's time for you to make
good on your side of the deal,Copy !req
351. and, I can't believe
I'm saying this,Copy !req
352. show us Charles' sperm.Copy !req
353. It's my sperm.Copy !req
354. It's in the freezer.Copy !req
355. I'll be right back.Copy !req
356. Are you sure you
know what you're doing?Copy !req
357. Abigail was our
only bargaining chip.Copy !req
358. Don't worry.
I have a plan.Copy !req
359. As soon as she
comes back in here,Copy !req
360. I'm gonna grab that cup
right out of her handsCopy !req
361. and run like hell.
You think that'll work?Copy !req
362. I don't just
think it will.Copy !req
363. I know it might.Copy !req
364. Here it is. Cold and
sad. Just like you.Copy !req
365. How do I know that
that's really Charles'?Copy !req
366. I'm gonna have to
read the label up close.Copy !req
367. If I could just
take a look...Copy !req
368. Go, Boyle!Copy !req
369. You really think
I'm that stupid?Copy !req
370. It's called a dummy cup,
dummies.Copy !req
371. Damn it. She's right,
it's empty.Copy !req
372. I'm actually kind of relieved.
I did not want to see that.Copy !req
373. You two are messing
with the wrong woman.Copy !req
374. And now you're
gonna pay for it.Copy !req
375. Wait, wait!
Eleanor, Eleanor!Copy !req
376. There are two
real containers.Copy !req
377. One is in
a safe location,Copy !req
378. and this is
the other one.Copy !req
379. Or rather,
it was the other one.Copy !req
380. No!Copy !req
381. She shot a hostage.Copy !req
382. Charles, what are
you doing?Copy !req
383. I'm sorry, but I don't
have a choice, Jake.Copy !req
384. I'm gonna go bully
an old priest,Copy !req
385. so I can get
my sperms back.Copy !req
386. He's a priest?Copy !req
387. Yeah, I looked him up.Copy !req
388. He's a priest,
a 90-year-old priest.Copy !req
389. But don't worry.
I'm not gonna hurt him.Copy !req
390. I'm just gonna
casually yawn...Copy !req
391. Thereby exposing
my gun and badge.Copy !req
392. Listen, you can't do this,
Charles, it's illegal.Copy !req
393. I have to. You saw what Eleanor
did to millions of my babies.Copy !req
394. I heard them scream!Copy !req
395. That was you.Copy !req
396. I am them,
and they are me.Copy !req
397. You could go
to prison, okay?Copy !req
398. You're right.
You're right.Copy !req
399. What am I thinking?Copy !req
400. Thank you for
looking out for me.Copy !req
401. Yeah.
Friend.Copy !req
402. No! What...Copy !req
403. Charles, what are
you doing?Copy !req
404. No, no, no!
Not the keys, no!Copy !req
405. Oh, I should've known.Copy !req
406. You're a hugger,
not a shaker.Copy !req
407. It was the most
painful thing I've ever done,Copy !req
408. and I've taken three of my
grandparents off life support.Copy !req
409. How are you always
in charge of that?Copy !req
410. Wait, Charles,
do not get in that car!Copy !req
411. He's getting in the car. Sorry.Copy !req
412. Don't you drive away!Copy !req
413. He's driving away.Copy !req
414. Charles!Copy !req
415. I just got
an email from SAM-SAM.Copy !req
416. Rejected?Copy !req
417. I've never been
rejected from anything.Copy !req
418. Me neither.Copy !req
419. Oops. Did you say
rejected or ejected?Copy !req
420. I've been rejected a lot.Copy !req
421. I don't understand.Copy !req
422. My application
was so good.Copy !req
423. You know what?
I've also been ejected.Copy !req
424. Flume ride,
Topeka, Kansas.Copy !req
425. How did this happen?Copy !req
426. Just forgot to
put on the belt.Copy !req
427. Jeffords.Copy !req
428. Good talk, Ames.Copy !req
429. You wrote me a bad
recommendation. How could you?Copy !req
430. Excuse me?Copy !req
431. It's the only explanation!Copy !req
432. You're mad that
I broke your faceCopy !req
433. and I burned
your whole body.Copy !req
434. Well, grow up!Copy !req
435. Grow up?Copy !req
436. I have a Roth IRA!Copy !req
437. I eat wheat toast!
You grow up!Copy !req
438. You know what?Copy !req
439. Here's the letter
that I sent.Copy !req
440. "Amy Santiago is one
of the finest detectivesCopy !req
441. "in my precinct...
Nay, the entire NYPD."Copy !req
442. Yeah, I even used
the word "nay."Copy !req
443. The idea that you would
question my integrity is so...Copy !req
444. Uh-oh.Copy !req
445. I got to sneeze.
This is gonna hurt!Copy !req
446. Oh, God.Copy !req
447. Oh, Hitchcock,
thank God!Copy !req
448. Handcuffed yourself
to a car? Been there.Copy !req
449. What? No,
Charles did this.Copy !req
450. Here, quick,
hand me those keys.Copy !req
451. Here we go.Copy !req
452. What will you
give me for them?Copy !req
453. Seriously?
What do you want?Copy !req
454. A dollar for a soda,
mine are all wet.Copy !req
455. Yes, obviously,
I'll give you that! Bam!Copy !req
456. A soda only costs
75 cents, you fool.Copy !req
457. See you later, sucker!Copy !req
458. Didn't even
give him the dollar.Copy !req
459. I know it seems
like I blew it,Copy !req
460. but you got to give me
another crack at him.Copy !req
461. Now that I'm aware
of our fascinating past,Copy !req
462. I have all
the ammo that I need.Copy !req
463. Perhaps you would've
had that ammoCopy !req
464. if you had read
the file Diaz offered you.Copy !req
465. No doubt. No doubt.
Gina culpa.Copy !req
466. Okay, you get
one more chance.Copy !req
467. I will not let
you down.Copy !req
468. Steven, Steven, Steven,
I have one question.Copy !req
469. Who on the basketball
team was into me?Copy !req
470. I want names.Copy !req
471. What?Copy !req
472. We don't have time
to play games, Steven.Copy !req
473. That's it.
I'm pulling her.Copy !req
474. No, no, let her
keep going.Copy !req
475. Question two.Copy !req
476. Who on the lacrosse
team is into me,Copy !req
477. and which one of
them aged the best?Copy !req
478. In 4,
000 feet, stay straight.Copy !req
479. You interrupted
the song for that?Copy !req
480. Hello.Copy !req
481. Father, I understand
you were recently involvedCopy !req
482. in an automobile accident
with an Eleanor Horstweil.Copy !req
483. Oh, yes, uh, she came up
onto the sidewalkCopy !req
484. and fractured my hip.Copy !req
485. You were a pedestrian?Copy !req
486. Are you technically
a pedestrianCopy !req
487. if you're sitting
on a bench?Copy !req
488. Sitting on a bench.Copy !req
489. Well, okay,
I don't want to tell youCopy !req
490. to drop your suit
against her,Copy !req
491. but I sure
am getting sleepy.Copy !req
492. Excuse me?Copy !req
493. Yawns a-coming.Copy !req
494. I got you. Hi, there. I'm Jake.Copy !req
495. This is my best
friend, Charles.Copy !req
496. He's trying to have
a baby. You get it.Copy !req
497. Now, come here, you.Copy !req
498. Charles, I know
you're mad,Copy !req
499. but you have to
talk to me.Copy !req
500. It's funny how
getting tased in the backCopy !req
501. can break your heartCopy !req
502. and also really
hurt your back.Copy !req
503. I'm sorry.Copy !req
504. I really wanted to be a papa,
and you ruined it.Copy !req
505. You pop-blocked me.Copy !req
506. I know, but I couldn't
let you break the law.Copy !req
507. And I won't let Eleanor
turn you into a bad person.Copy !req
508. What other choice
do I have?Copy !req
509. There's always
a choice, Charles.Copy !req
510. And by the way,
DNA is not the only thingCopy !req
511. that makes somebody
into a father.Copy !req
512. I mean,
not that it's any of my business,Copy !req
513. but I have a biological father,
and he's a nightmare.Copy !req
514. He never played
catch with me.Copy !req
515. He never taught me
how to ride a bike.Copy !req
516. I had to learn how to shave
from watching Home Alone.Copy !req
517. Makes sense,
it's like Die Hard for kids.Copy !req
518. Plus, is this how you
really want it to go?Copy !req
519. Eleanor controlling your life,
ruining your career?Copy !req
520. So what do I do?Copy !req
521. Honestly,
I don't know.Copy !req
522. But I do know that you're
gonna be a great dadCopy !req
523. with or without
your...Copy !req
524. Boyle oil.Copy !req
525. Nope, not gonna say it. Oh.Copy !req
526. But you will.Copy !req
527. There's still time left
on Eleanor's deadline.Copy !req
528. I'm gonna unlock
this door.Copy !req
529. You do what
you got to do.Copy !req
530. That seems like
a bad sign.Copy !req
531. Hey, Santiago,Copy !req
532. you know why you
didn't get into SAM-SAM?Copy !req
533. Probably because I used a
modern format on my cover letterCopy !req
534. that put my email
above my home address.Copy !req
535. Why take such a risk?Copy !req
536. No, I sent the
recommendation letterCopy !req
537. to the wrong place.Copy !req
538. I thought you were applying
to be a mentor, not a mentee.Copy !req
539. You thought I wanted to be a SAM,
not a SAM?Copy !req
540. Are you insane?Copy !req
541. Well, you should
be a SAM.Copy !req
542. No, I should be a SAM.Copy !req
543. We got to start saying
something other than SAMCopy !req
544. because we are barreling
toward a misunderstanding.Copy !req
545. Amy, you are ready
to be teaching others.Copy !req
546. I made a call,
you're going to be a mentor.Copy !req
547. Oh, my God.Copy !req
548. Sergeant, I'm so sorry for
ever questioning your integrity.Copy !req
549. Thank you so much...Copy !req
550. No, no, no,
stand back.Copy !req
551. Look, I'm still very
scared of you.Copy !req
552. Good news.
I got Steven to talk.Copy !req
553. Diaz, fantastic.
How did you do it?Copy !req
554. Did you finally show him
the municipal court websiteCopy !req
555. and the pull-down menus
you can't click on?Copy !req
556. No, I found something
we bonded over.Copy !req
557. She didn't
even know who I was.Copy !req
558. And we were good friends.Copy !req
559. On more than one occasion,
she's called me Gina.Copy !req
560. That's her own name.Copy !req
561. No, she didn't.Copy !req
562. We complained
about Gina for an hour,Copy !req
563. and then
he opened up.Copy !req
564. Gave me the name of
the guy he works for.Copy !req
565. I have never been so
insulted in my entire life.Copy !req
566. I'm not gonna work cases
for you guys anymore.Copy !req
567. We were never
going to ask you to.Copy !req
568. You just lost
your best detective.Copy !req
569. Charles, thank God.
What happened?Copy !req
570. I did it.
Did what?Copy !req
571. I'm freaking out over here,
you stormed off.Copy !req
572. Yeah, because I was
inspired by you.Copy !req
573. I ran all the way to
Eleanor's house to tell her off.Copy !req
574. What do you want, Chunk?Copy !req
575. To let you know
you can keep my sperm.Copy !req
576. I don't need it.Copy !req
577. I'm in love
and I'm going to be a dad,Copy !req
578. and there's nothing
you could do to stop me.Copy !req
579. So, good-bye forever.Copy !req
580. Oh, and one more thing.Copy !req
581. Tell Hercules I'll see him
at spin class on Sunday.Copy !req
582. Now good-bye!Copy !req
583. How do you guys feel?
Great.Copy !req
584. We were looking at possible
donors on the way over.Copy !req
585. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.Copy !req
586. Check out this guy.Copy !req
587. I like him,
he went to Yale.Copy !req
588. Oh, wait, that says Yeal
University. Swipe him off.Copy !req
589. This is fun.
That's weird.Copy !req
590. That guy kind of
looks like my dad.Copy !req
591. Wait a minute.
That is my dad.Copy !req
592. You cannot use
his sperm.Copy !req
593. You cannot use
his sperm.Copy !req
594. My son would be
your brother!Copy !req