1. For the last time,
the best cop movies, in order.Copy !req
2. Training Day,
Lethal Weapon, and Fargo.Copy !req
3. End of discussion.
Wrong.Copy !req
4. Die Hard is the best
cop movie of all time.Copy !req
5. One cop heroically
saving the dayCopy !req
6. while everyone else
stands around and watches.Copy !req
7. It's the story of my life.Copy !req
8. I like Turner and Hooch. Tom Hanks,
a reluctant friendship with a dog.Copy !req
9. That hits me where I live.
No.Copy !req
10. RoboCop. It's got everything
I like. Gratuitous violence.Copy !req
11. Oh, I thought you
were listing things.Copy !req
12. I was. I'm done.
Okay.Copy !req
13. Let's talk Bad Boys.
That's the perfect cop movie.Copy !req
14. Mr. Smith, looking fine.Copy !req
15. A hot cup of Tea Leoni.
Come on.Copy !req
16. Francois Truffaut's
Breathless.Copy !req
17. What?Copy !req
18. Terry likes foreign films.Copy !req
19. Okay.Copy !req
20. There is a correct answer
to this question, though.Copy !req
21. So, gather round for the
greatest cop film of all time.Copy !req
22. Please refrain from texting during
our presentation.Copy !req
23. So, there's Hitchcock, and there's an
old hooker.Copy !req
24. Come on, guys.Copy !req
25. That happened four years
ago. Shh. This is the best part.Copy !req
26. She comes back,
takes the wallet,Copy !req
27. and here she goes!Copy !req
28. Oh!Copy !req
29. Hey. I love
the sweater.Copy !req
30. Who you slaying
tonight, Lady Killer?Copy !req
31. Well, we shall see
what we shall see.Copy !req
32. No, you're dressed exactly
like "The Lady Killer."Copy !req
33. Damn it.Copy !req
34. This is Jeffrey Dahmer's
corduroys all over again.Copy !req
35. All right. Let's get started.Copy !req
36. Scully, where are you on
digitizing the old case files?Copy !req
37. As of yesterday,
I am officially 1% done.Copy !req
38. Why are you smiling?
That's nothing.Copy !req
39. Well, there's thousands
of cases. And for each one,Copy !req
40. I have to fill out 200 little box
thingies on 50 different screens.Copy !req
41. At least you get to sit on
your butt all day.Copy !req
42. That's actually
the worst part.Copy !req
43. My doctor said
I have an anal canyon.Copy !req
44. Oh, God.Copy !req
45. Scully, why are you always telling
us about your disgusting body?Copy !req
46. I don't see anything.
That's because it's all wart.Copy !req
47. How are you married?
Peralta.Copy !req
48. Where are we on
the Adams Street burglary?Copy !req
49. We are very close,
Captain.Copy !req
50. Aside from a complete absence
of evidence, suspects, or leads.Copy !req
51. So, in conclusion,
not at all close.Copy !req
52. And the Vickers Street
aggravated assault?Copy !req
53. Stalled out.Copy !req
54. And the Calloway robbery
also remains unsolved,Copy !req
55. due to a lack
of solving it, by me.Copy !req
56. Sounds like someone's
in a little bit of a slump.Copy !req
57. I'm not in a slump.Copy !req
58. You're not? Scoreboard.Copy !req
59. I don't slump,
people.Copy !req
60. I opposite-slump.Copy !req
61. I pmuls. That's slump,
backwards and it's what I do.Copy !req
62. I pmuls
all over this bitch.Copy !req
63. Dismissed.Copy !req
64. Slump.
Pmuls.Copy !req
65. Wait.Copy !req
66. Before you say anything, I want to
guess what happened based on your face.Copy !req
67. Someone died. No!Copy !req
68. You won a prize!Copy !req
69. I'm not getting better
at this.Copy !req
70. I'm concerned that
the open-cases moundCopy !req
71. of garbage on your deskCopy !req
72. has become so much higherCopy !req
73. than the closed-cases
mound of garbage.Copy !req
74. All right. Sir, let me hit you
with a little analogy.Copy !req
75. Are you familiar
with race cars?Copy !req
76. Formula One or stock?Copy !req
77. That's already way more
than I know about it.Copy !req
78. The point is, I am a super
awesome race car,Copy !req
79. who's hit a couple
of unlucky speed bumps.Copy !req
80. There are speed bumps
on a race track?Copy !req
81. Is that not a part of
car racing? It should be.Copy !req
82. All I'm saying is,
it's open road again.Copy !req
83. I'm about to close a case.Copy !req
84. Missing grandma,
Helen Sterrino.Copy !req
85. Last Sunday,
her grandson, Judd,Copy !req
86. reported she went out for
bagels and never came back.Copy !req
87. This morning,Copy !req
88. we picked up an old lady
matching her description exactly.Copy !req
89. I showed her pictures of Judd,
and she said, and I quote,Copy !req
90. That's my grandson.Copy !req
91. What did I say
about doing voices?Copy !req
92. I'm a storyteller, sir.
It's my craft.Copy !req
93. Anyways,
grandson's coming in,Copy !req
94. they reunite, and I throw another
case on the old "solved it" pile.Copy !req
95. Hey, my croissant.Copy !req
96. You wanted to see me,
Captain?Copy !req
97. Yes, the DA wanted me
to personally thank youCopy !req
98. for your work
on the Jay Street drug bust.Copy !req
99. That's why we do this, sir.Copy !req
100. For praise?Copy !req
101. Uh...Copy !req
102. There's a community outreach
program that's very important to me.Copy !req
103. I was wondering
if you'd like to head it up.Copy !req
104. Absolutely, sir.Copy !req
105. I won't just head it up,
I will head and shoulders it up.Copy !req
106. I will dive in,
swim around it, and just beCopy !req
107. all together good with it.Copy !req
108. Be more articulate when
you speak to the children.Copy !req
109. Yes, sir.
I will make better mouth.Copy !req
110. Hey, Sarge?Copy !req
111. I need someone
to fill out a lineup.Copy !req
112. Will you be Scary Terry?Copy !req
113. Oh, I love being Scary Terry.Copy !req
114. He says what
regular Terry's thinking.Copy !req
115. This is taking too long!Copy !req
116. I'm going to miss
the farmer's market!Copy !req
117. But I'm too busy.Copy !req
118. I've got a special case
I'm working on.Copy !req
119. Uh, Hitchcock,Copy !req
120. Boyle needs you
to fill out a lineup.Copy !req
121. Oh, great. I'll take
my shirt off.Copy !req
122. No one asked you
to take your shirt off.Copy !req
123. Stop volunteering
to take your shirt off.Copy !req
124. I can't hear you.
Shirt's over my ears.Copy !req
125. Hi, Rosa.Copy !req
126. Oh, I like your shoes. They're a
really pretty... What do you need?Copy !req
127. Color. Okay.Copy !req
128. You know how, every year,
the precinct does thatCopy !req
129. Junior Police Program
seminar?Copy !req
130. That thing where we try
to get a bunch of loser kidsCopy !req
131. to become student snitches?Copy !req
132. Mmm. No. The thing where
we try to get at-risk kids...Copy !req
133. Losers. To sign up to
become Junior Police Officers.Copy !req
134. Snitches. What about it?Copy !req
135. Captain specifically asked me
to run it this year.Copy !req
136. And I signed you up to do
it with me. Here's the info.Copy !req
137. Now, I've got to read
something?Copy !req
138. Greetings. Fine.Copy !req
139. I guess I can help you
with those at-risk kids.Copy !req
140. I don't need your help.Copy !req
141. It's nothing personal,
it's justCopy !req
142. you're not a cop,
so I'm not really sure you can help.Copy !req
143. Mmm-kay. No hard feelings,
but I hate you.Copy !req
144. Not joking. Bye.Copy !req
145. Ah.Copy !req
146. Mr. and Mrs. Sterrino,
I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
147. May I present to you...Copy !req
148. Oh, my darlings.
Thank God I found you.Copy !req
149. Oh, look at those
beautiful cheeks.Copy !req
150. I have no idea
who this lady is.Copy !req
151. I've never seen her
before in my life.Copy !req
152. What? No, she
recognized you.Copy !req
153. This is Helen.
Who is Helen?Copy !req
154. Oh!Copy !req
155. There's my husband.
Solomon.Copy !req
156. I'm, I'm not really
her husband.Copy !req
157. You're so much shorter
than you used to be.Copy !req
158. What did the Japanese
do to you?Copy !req
159. Different generation.Copy !req
160. Okay. This is Ethel Musterberg from
the Prospect Heights Senior Center.Copy !req
161. There was an ID card
in her back pocket.Copy !req
162. Why was your hand
in her back pocket?Copy !req
163. Well, she told me
she didn't have any ID.Copy !req
164. And unlike Boyle, my first
instinct was not to caress her butt.Copy !req
165. Frisked. I frisked her butt.Copy !req
166. It looks like this case
remains unsolved, Peralta.Copy !req
167. Oh, my God.Copy !req
168. I'm in a slump!Copy !req
169. Oh, cool. You're all here
in the break room.Copy !req
170. You asked us to
come in here. What?Copy !req
171. Here's a hypothetical
question.Copy !req
172. Let's say I knew
someone that,Copy !req
173. for the first time
in their careerCopy !req
174. was experiencing,
like, a minor slump.Copy !req
175. What do you think you
would suggest to that personCopy !req
176. if they were
going through that?Copy !req
177. Well, I haven't really been
in a slump since my divorce.Copy !req
178. So, I'd tell this person
to maybe get divorced.Copy !req
179. He'd have to get
married first.Copy !req
180. Okay. So, the suggestion to beat is,
"Get married and then divorced."Copy !req
181. Rosa?Copy !req
182. Fly to Montreal,
hit a classy hotel bar,Copy !req
183. bone a stranger.
Slump over.Copy !req
184. Wow,
that sounds amazing. Yeah.Copy !req
185. That's a good one.Copy !req
186. Sarge, what would you do?Copy !req
187. Ten thousand sit-ups.Copy !req
188. Okay. Do you have a backup
plan in case my hypothetical personCopy !req
189. can only do 9500?
Or three?Copy !req
190. What's going on in here?
Oh, no.Copy !req
191. We're helping Jake's friend
get out of a slump.Copy !req
192. Or try working a case
until it's solved, Peralta.Copy !req
193. I always find that closing cases
is the best way to end a slump.Copy !req
194. Thank you, Captain.
He's right.Copy !req
195. You just need a win.Copy !req
196. Pick your easiest, no-brainer case,
and work it until it's done.Copy !req
197. Fine.Copy !req
198. Right after I do Rosa's Montreal
sex thing. That sounds fun.Copy !req
199. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Okay.Copy !req
201. This is the Junior Police
Program, a.k.a.Copy !req
202. "Mission Possible."Copy !req
203. Your mission, should you
choose to accept it,Copy !req
204. is to get your life
back on track.Copy !req
205. Narc!Copy !req
206. Hey, Gina.Copy !req
207. What are you doing?
Oh, hi, Amy.Copy !req
208. Since I have nothing to offer,
since I'm not a cop,Copy !req
209. I thought I'd just
show up and learn.Copy !req
210. You want to
help me out here?Copy !req
211. No, I think I'm good.Copy !req
212. I know you think
getting in trouble is cool.Copy !req
213. But let me show you
what can happenCopy !req
214. if you continue
down this path.Copy !req
215. Hey, yo. I'm an at-risk kid,
and I think it's cool to sell drugs.Copy !req
216. Hold up. Why does the kid
selling drugs sound like he's black?Copy !req
217. He's not.
Well, why not?Copy !req
218. Are you saying that black
people can't sell drugs?Copy !req
219. No, I'm not saying that.Copy !req
220. If we have a black president,
why can't black people sell drugs?Copy !req
221. I'm so confused.Copy !req
222. Black people can sell drugs.Copy !req
223. Black people can sell drugs!Copy !req
224. Black people can sell drugs!
Black people can sell drugs!Copy !req
225. Black people can sell drugs!Copy !req
226. Black people can sell drugs!Copy !req
227. Don't make
me hit you again.Copy !req
228. Um, I'm building this
doll house for my girls.Copy !req
229. It's their birthday tomorrow.Copy !req
230. I told my wife
I'd get it done.Copy !req
231. I had the same exact one
when I was a kid.Copy !req
232. Mom! Charles is hogging
my doll house!Copy !req
233. Grandma bought it
for the both of us!Copy !req
234. You want some help, big man? No.Copy !req
235. I can do this.Copy !req
236. It's just driving me
a little crazy.Copy !req
237. Where do I affix
the princess tower, Boyle?Copy !req
238. Where do I affix it?Copy !req
239. On the side of the turret.
Not now, Boyle.Copy !req
240. Let a brother breathe.Copy !req
241. Let a brother breathe.Copy !req
242. Why would I swap cases
with you?Copy !req
243. I got multiple calls that a
guy in the Sackett TowersCopy !req
244. is dealing meth out of his
apartment. It's a guaranteed arrest.Copy !req
245. And, therefore, will have
a ton of paperwork,Copy !req
246. which I know you hate.Copy !req
247. I have a murder here with
no leads and no evidence.Copy !req
248. It's unsolvable.Copy !req
249. And thus, shall have
no paperwork.Copy !req
250. You had me at "no paperwork."Copy !req
251. That was the very end
of the sentence.Copy !req
252. All right, Boyle.
Let's hit it.Copy !req
253. So, where are you going,
Peralta?Copy !req
254. I am on my way
to ending the slump.Copy !req
255. I got a dunker, Captain.
Nothing but net.Copy !req
256. Hey, Slump. You're about to
get nailed by the Jake-hammer.Copy !req
257. So, you haven't solved
any of your old casesCopy !req
258. and yet, you've taken
on a new one.Copy !req
259. I mean, shouldn't you
at least solve thisCopy !req
260. Helen Sterrino
missing-grandmother case first?Copy !req
261. Or I could solve this
super easy one,Copy !req
262. get my mojo back, and move
on to catching the Zodiac killer.Copy !req
263. Am I getting ahead of myself? No,
you are not, Jake-rabbit.Copy !req
264. I like Jake-hammer better.
Let's go. Ah.Copy !req
265. I did not think getting these
kids to sign up would be this hard.Copy !req
266. These kids
don't want to listen to you.Copy !req
267. You're, like,
smart and articulate.Copy !req
268. So are you.
Why am I offended by that?Copy !req
269. They don't identify with you because
you're not from the streets. I am.Copy !req
270. Follow. Watch. Learn.Copy !req
271. All right, listen up.Copy !req
272. I know you think
you're badasses. Ow.Copy !req
273. But deep down,
you're scared.Copy !req
274. How do I know?Copy !req
275. Because I've been
that same scared kid.Copy !req
276. And if you don't get
your crap together,Copy !req
277. I'm going to end up busting
you and throwing you in jail.Copy !req
278. Got it?Copy !req
279. Remix, yo.Copy !req
280. Throwing you in jailCopy !req
281. Throwing you in jailCopy !req
282. Throwing you in jail
Throwing you in jailCopy !req
283. What's happening? I think
they're laughing at you.Copy !req
284. That's never happened before.Copy !req
285. I don't like it.Copy !req
286. Got it?Copy !req
287. Okay.Copy !req
288. Freeze! NYPD
Hands where I can see them.Copy !req
289. Hands! Don't shoot! I was
just practicing my minuets,Copy !req
290. but I'll hold it down.Copy !req
291. All right, flute man. Who
else is in this apartment?Copy !req
292. Where's the dealer?Copy !req
293. I live here alone with my
birds.Copy !req
294. What, you don't
think I know this MO?Copy !req
295. These are mules.
They're drug mules.Copy !req
296. They're bird mule drugs.Copy !req
297. Drug-bird mules.Copy !req
298. Apartment's clear.Copy !req
299. We got multiple calls
about a dealer here.Copy !req
300. I bet it's the silly kids
down the hall.Copy !req
301. They love prank calling me.Copy !req
302. The only drugs in this
apartment are for my heart,Copy !req
303. my liver, my kidney,Copy !req
304. my salivary glands,Copy !req
305. And my penis,
and my feet.Copy !req
306. Oh. The bird pooped
on your shoulder.Copy !req
307. No, wait. It pooped on your head,
then dripped onto your shoulder.Copy !req
308. I'm telling you,
it's good luck.Copy !req
309. No, it isn't. Okay?Copy !req
310. That's just something people
say when a bird poops on youCopy !req
311. to make you feel better
because it's terrible.Copy !req
312. Four coming in!Copy !req
313. Oh, come on.Copy !req
314. I was at the crime scene.Copy !req
315. This guy comes up
out of nowhere, confesses.Copy !req
316. Well, he says he's got
to make things right,Copy !req
317. so he helps me track down
his accomplices.Copy !req
318. That is so great, man.Copy !req
319. Looks like everything's
coming up Hitchcock.Copy !req
320. Hey, Jake, you busy?Copy !req
321. Yes, I very clearly am busy.Copy !req
322. The medical examiner's
office just called,Copy !req
323. they mishandled
some evidence,Copy !req
324. so the DA is going to have
to dismiss your last two busts.Copy !req
325. Great.Copy !req
326. And the slump gets worse.Copy !req
327. I don't think it's a slump. Honestly,
you are straight-up cursed.Copy !req
328. Good to know.Copy !req
329. Can you hand me
a paper towel, please, Gina?Copy !req
330. There's no more left.Copy !req
331. Yeah, that sounds right.Copy !req
332. Uh.Copy !req
333. Hey.Copy !req
334. You're dripping on my carpet.Copy !req
335. Oh, don't worry, sir.
It's just urinal water.Copy !req
336. Clean urinal water.Copy !req
337. You could eat off his shirt.Copy !req
338. Why would I ever
eat off his shirt?Copy !req
339. Look. Sir, I don't know what's going on,
but I think I'm cursed.Copy !req
340. Cursed, huh?Copy !req
341. The freakiest things
have been happening to me.Copy !req
342. I mean, I can't
solve a case to save my life,Copy !req
343. birds are unloading
on me left and right,Copy !req
344. and two seconds ago...Copy !req
345. Hey, Sarge, do we have
any old T-shirts in here?Copy !req
346. Cursed.Copy !req
347. Yeah, I've seen
this kind of thing before.Copy !req
348. It happened to a friend of
mine back in the One-Eight.Copy !req
349. Detective Smith.Copy !req
350. We called him Smitty.Copy !req
351. He thought he was cursed and,
because cops are superstitious,Copy !req
352. the whole precinct
thought he was cursed.Copy !req
353. But then, he found a case
and he solved it,Copy !req
354. and now he's married
to Kate Upton. No.Copy !req
355. No one would go out
on calls with him.Copy !req
356. He responded to a riot
at a gym without backupCopy !req
357. and got beaten up
by a girls' volleyball team.Copy !req
358. It was actually quite violent.
Man!Copy !req
359. Girls are so scary.Copy !req
360. I don't want you out
in the field again, Peralta.Copy !req
361. I'm pulling you
from case work.Copy !req
362. You can digitize old files with
Scully. You're benching me?Copy !req
363. No, no, no.
Look. I've got a plan.Copy !req
364. Give all my open cases
to Hitchcock,Copy !req
365. who's suddenly on a roll,
and assign me 20 fresh ones.Copy !req
366. Eventually,
my luck will turn.Copy !req
367. No, I don't think that's what's
best for you or the squad.Copy !req
368. Not until this blows over.
And how long will that be?Copy !req
369. Could be a week,
could be a month.Copy !req
370. Could be a year,
could be a decade.Copy !req
371. Sorry, we were just saying
bigger and bigger numbers.Copy !req
372. I don't know how to connect
with these kids.Copy !req
373. They're mean and shallow,
and respect nothing.Copy !req
374. I mean, what kind of person
would they even listen to?Copy !req
375. Hitchcock,Copy !req
376. stop bringing your food in
little Tupperware containers.Copy !req
377. It hurts my fingers
when I'm trying to open it.Copy !req
378. Sorry.Copy !req
379. Hey, Gina.
That's a super cute...Copy !req
380. What do you want?
sweater. Okay.Copy !req
381. Rosa and I think it would be
great if you'd talk to the kids.Copy !req
382. Mmm. I thought
only cops could help.Copy !req
383. In this case, not being a
cop might actually be better.Copy !req
384. Mmm.
That's true in all cases.Copy !req
385. Cops are the worst.Copy !req
386. "Enter the numbers from this
reportCopy !req
387. "Into the corresponding
boxes on this screen.Copy !req
388. "Then, fill out these fields."
And I'm in a coma.Copy !req
389. Hey, Hitchcock.Copy !req
390. Help me out, man.
I'm so bored.Copy !req
391. Let me jump back on
that murder with you.Copy !req
392. No, I got it.Copy !req
393. Come on, man. Let me just
see the file. No, don't touch it!Copy !req
394. You're contagious.
Everything could fall apart!Copy !req
395. Peralta, leave
Hitchcock alone.Copy !req
396. Come here.Copy !req
397. Now,
I got in touch with Smitty.Copy !req
398. He says that you should rub this
rabbit's foot with your left forefingerCopy !req
399. and your pinky like this
for good luck.Copy !req
400. Okay? Now, you try it.Copy !req
401. Okay.Copy !req
402. Yep.Copy !req
403. It's definitely helping.
I can feel it.Copy !req
404. The curse is lifting
off of me.Copy !req
405. Ah, hand cramp.Copy !req
406. Rub, rub, rub.Copy !req
407. You okay?Copy !req
408. The Fairy Princess Castle
has defeated me.Copy !req
409. I'm a grown manCopy !req
410. with man-hands
and a man-brain.Copy !req
411. I should be able to put together a
doll house in less than four hours.Copy !req
412. Why does it
have to be so hard?Copy !req
413. Look.Copy !req
414. This screw has
three pointy sidesCopy !req
415. and nowhere
to screw it in!Copy !req
416. And there's wheels.Copy !req
417. What kind of castle
has wheels?Copy !req
418. Ahhh!Copy !req
419. 117A. Yes.Copy !req
420. 117B. Yes.Copy !req
421. 18A.Copy !req
422. Wait a minute.Copy !req
423. Hey.Copy !req
424. Just heading to the can.Copy !req
425. Take the rabbit's foot.Copy !req
426. Roger that.Copy !req
427. Hey. Hey.
What's going on?Copy !req
428. Well, I'm not allowed
to leave my desk,Copy !req
429. so we have to meet in here.Copy !req
430. So, what you're saying
is that this is kind of a...Copy !req
431. No. For the last time, Charles,
we don't need a clubhouse!Copy !req
432. Clubhouse!Copy !req
433. Clubhouse.Copy !req
434. You know what I'm thinking.
No clubhouse.Copy !req
435. I need you to make these calls
for me. Don't let Holt see you.Copy !req
436. But if my hunch is right,
the slump is over.Copy !req
437. Come through for me,
Boyle. All right. You know I will.Copy !req
438. I'm just saying,
put a couple of leather chairs in here.Copy !req
439. Go!Copy !req
440. Children.Copy !req
441. Your problem is not that
you're troubled or at-riskCopy !req
442. or bad dressers.
Is that a trucker hat?Copy !req
443. Still? Come on.Copy !req
444. Your problem is that you
don't have passion for anything.Copy !req
445. My life turned around
when I found my passion.Copy !req
446. And today, well,
I hope to inspire you with it.Copy !req
447. Mmm-mm-mmCopy !req
448. You are beautiful
no matter what they sayCopy !req
449. Words can't bring you downCopy !req
450. No, noCopy !req
451. You are beautifulCopy !req
452. in every single wayCopy !req
453. What are we thinking?Copy !req
454. Yes, in the denim.Copy !req
455. I think I speak for everyoneCopy !req
456. when I say your weird dancing
was just weird.Copy !req
457. Fine.Copy !req
458. Cops make $52,000 a year,
you never have to stop at a red light,Copy !req
459. and you get to carry a gun.
Who wants in?Copy !req
460. Boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom. Yes.Copy !req
461. Oh,
my God. You got eight kids to sign up.Copy !req
462. How did you know
that would work?Copy !req
463. That's what made me sign up
when I was a kid.Copy !req
464. You did this program?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.Copy !req
465. It does not work.Copy !req
466. They're here.Copy !req
467. Fantastic. Too dramatic?
No.Copy !req
468. Hi. Why are we in the bathroom?Copy !req
469. I thought you might ask that,
and I will answer in due time.Copy !req
470. But first, I know what happened
to your grandma. Nothing.Copy !req
471. What are you talking about?Copy !req
472. The reason I couldn't find her
is because she never existed.Copy !req
473. I had Detective Boyle
make some calls,Copy !req
474. and it turns out
you've done this before.Copy !req
475. Five missing persons reports
in five different states.Copy !req
476. Recognize this?
What are you accusing us of?Copy !req
477. Probably insurance fraud.
Definitely filing a false reportCopy !req
478. and obstruction of justice.Copy !req
479. Now, you were wondering
why we did this in the bathroom.Copy !req
480. It's because
you're full of crap.Copy !req
481. Blammo.
Jake-hammer strikes again.Copy !req
482. Jake-hammer
strikes again.Copy !req
483. Detectives.Copy !req
484. I see we got eight recruits
for the Junior Police Program?Copy !req
485. Outstanding.Copy !req
486. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
487. But as important
as your praise is to me,Copy !req
488. it should actually
go to Gina.Copy !req
489. She's the one that
got through to the kids.Copy !req
490. Yes. I am amazing.Copy !req
491. And I only ask for
one thing in repayment.Copy !req
492. A 600% raise.Copy !req
493. Or I could give you
a 0% raiseCopy !req
494. and make you my personal assistant,
which is what I'm doing.Copy !req
495. I think you have
hidden talents,Copy !req
496. which will make you
surprisingly good at the job.Copy !req
497. No. I have no talents.
You start Monday.Copy !req
498. Ugh.Copy !req
499. Constantly getting
Holt's approval is the worst.Copy !req
500. Yes. I can only imagine.Copy !req
501. Well. The curse is over.
The slump is done.Copy !req
502. Jake is back.Copy !req
503. Permission to take a selfie of the
two of us, sir? Permission denied.Copy !req
504. Too late.Copy !req
505. Ah. That was a good one.Copy !req
506. So, the rabbit's foot
worked, huh?Copy !req
507. Ah, maybe.Copy !req
508. All I know is,
my mind was so numbCopy !req
509. from doing all that
boring data entryCopy !req
510. that my brain kind of rebooted
and I had an inspirationCopy !req
511. about one of my old cases.Copy !req
512. And I now see that
that was your plan all along.Copy !req
513. And that you're capable
of smiling.Copy !req
514. All talented detectives have
their ups and downs, Peralta.Copy !req
515. So, you think I'm talented.
You said it, no take-backs.Copy !req
516. You know why
Boyle doesn't slump?Copy !req
517. Because his whole life
is a slump?Copy !req
518. Because he doesn't let
adversity get him down.Copy !req
519. He keeps grinding.Copy !req
520. If I had given you
those new cases,Copy !req
521. the second you hit a snag,
you would have spiraled again.Copy !req
522. You need to stay out
of your own head. Okay.Copy !req
523. But, sir, I don't get it.
If that was your plan,Copy !req
524. why bother with Smitty
and the rabbit's foot?Copy !req
525. Well, there's a very
good reason for that.Copy !req
526. I was, uh...Copy !req
527. I believe the term is,
uh, "messing with you."Copy !req
528. Oh.Copy !req
529. I see what's going on here.Copy !req
530. We're becoming homies.Copy !req
531. Office Christmas card candidate,
right here.Copy !req
532. Me and Holt are homies!Copy !req
533. Hey, Sarge.Copy !req
534. I assembled
the castle for you.Copy !req
535. Here it is.Copy !req
536. What?
What happened to allCopy !req
537. the princess flourishes?Copy !req
538. Well, they
were destroyed,Copy !req
539. so I turned it into
a princess police station.Copy !req
540. You know,
some jobs take brains,Copy !req
541. some jobs take muscles,Copy !req
542. some jobs take
dainty little fingers.Copy !req
543. Did I ever tell you I had to
wear a woman's wedding ring?Copy !req
544. Thank you, Boyle.
I appreciate it.Copy !req
545. You're a good dad.Copy !req
546. Don't put so much
pressure on yourself.Copy !req
547. Oh, check this out.Copy !req
548. Working siren.Copy !req
549. I'll fix that!
I'll fix, I'll fix that.Copy !req