1. I didn't wash my hands,
and I don't care.Copy !req
2. Yup.Copy !req
3. Cool to be some place where they don't cut
you off right when things get good, right?Copy !req
4. Another pitcher of your
strongest beer please, good sir,Copy !req
5. and a glass thingy
to drink it out of.Copy !req
6. And, uh, one of whatever
this guy's having for that guy,Copy !req
7. and one of what that
guy's having for this guy.Copy !req
8. And another round
for everyone, on me!Copy !req
9. Yeah.Copy !req
10. That's right.
Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
11. What's the occasion?Copy !req
12. Oh, I'm celebrating.Copy !req
13. My name's Jake Peralta,
and I just got fired from the NYPD.Copy !req
14. All right, listen up.Copy !req
15. What you're about to see
is highly disturbing,Copy !req
16. but please,
no comments.Copy !req
17. This man is in pain,
so above all else, be kind.Copy !req
18. Good morning, Boyle.Copy !req
19. Let's just
get it out there.Copy !req
20. Vivian broke up
with me last night.Copy !req
21. I'm sorry,
Chucklebunny.Copy !req
22. Charles, wait!
Yes?Copy !req
23. Your food dehydrator.Copy !req
24. Oh, God.Copy !req
25. It's official.Copy !req
26. The wedding's off,
and this is what I'm like now.Copy !req
27. Life is a pit.
Excuse me?Copy !req
28. I don't understand.Copy !req
29. Did you already have a matrix
getup at home for some reason?Copy !req
30. No, Gina, I bought
this with the moneyCopy !req
31. I was going to spend on our
honeymoon to Cape Canaveral.Copy !req
32. I'm so sorry, buddy.Copy !req
33. Don't be. I'm settling
into the darkness nicely.Copy !req
34. I definitely get you now.Copy !req
35. What you got
there, Boyle?Copy !req
36. Eggs in a bag.Copy !req
37. Nothing brings me joy anymore,
not even food.Copy !req
38. Now, I only eat
for sustenance.Copy !req
39. Smart. Save that for
later.Copy !req
40. Peralta?
My office. Now.Copy !req
41. Sir?Copy !req
42. Ah.Copy !req
43. Commissioner Podolski.
It's been a while.Copy !req
44. Maybe because
you haven't putCopy !req
45. any of my children
in handcuffs recently.Copy !req
46. Yay, enemies for life.Copy !req
47. Peralta, have you been
investigating Lucas Wint?Copy !req
48. Uh, yeah, I have.Copy !req
49. I think he's laundering
money for drug dealers.Copy !req
50. Don't be an idiot.Copy !req
51. Lucas Wint is
a civic leader.Copy !req
52. He runs a major charity.Copy !req
53. His community center is the
lifeblood of that neighborhood.Copy !req
54. And he officially claims you
have been harassing him.Copy !req
55. What? That's insane.Copy !req
56. I've been trying
to talk to him,Copy !req
57. and he keeps avoiding me
like a guilty person.Copy !req
58. So, I approached him at
his weekly basketball game.Copy !req
59. Hey, there,
Wint. I got a couple questions for you.Copy !req
60. I told you
to back off.Copy !req
61. This is completely
inappropriate.Copy !req
62. No. This is me
scoring in your face!Copy !req
63. Kobe!Copy !req
64. Seemed like
an obvious goal-tend,Copy !req
65. but that's besides
the point.Copy !req
66. Peralta, do you have any
evidence to support your suspicions?Copy !req
67. There's a lot of chatter
amongst low level drug dealers.Copy !req
68. Chatter?
Sorry, I know.Copy !req
69. I know. I hate that word,
too. Tittle-tattle.Copy !req
70. Just stay away from Wint.
That's an order.Copy !req
71. Captain,
I'm telling you.Copy !req
72. This is reliable
tittle-tattle.Copy !req
73. You have to trust me.Copy !req
74. Trust me.Copy !req
75. It's in your best
interest to back off.Copy !req
76. Fine.Copy !req
77. But just for the record,
I think you're both wrong.Copy !req
78. Self-dismissed.Copy !req
79. We have to help Charles.
He's devastated.Copy !req
80. I hate seeing
him like this.Copy !req
81. Breakups are cartoony
thumbs down.Copy !req
82. They make people feel
face with "X's" for the eyes.Copy !req
83. What does that even mean?Copy !req
84. The English language
cannot fully captureCopy !req
85. the depth and complexity
of my thoughts,Copy !req
86. so I'm incorporating Emoji into
my speech to better express myself.Copy !req
87. Winky face.
Oh, Lord.Copy !req
88. Listen,
this is simple.Copy !req
89. Boyle needs a little
rebound nooky.Copy !req
90. Eggplant Emoji.Copy !req
91. Rosa, you wanna
get on that?Copy !req
92. Don't make me rip
your tongue off.Copy !req
93. I would talk to him,
but I don't think I have any advice.Copy !req
94. All of my breakups have
been completely mutual.Copy !req
95. This is the best possible
option for both of us.Copy !req
96. Agreed.
Take care.Copy !req
97. That was the end of an
eight year relationship.Copy !req
98. You know, I haven't had
that many romantic breakups,Copy !req
99. but neither of my children
will speak to me anymore.Copy !req
100. All right,
none of you are any help.Copy !req
101. Sarge and I will
cheer up Charles.Copy !req
102. Oh.Copy !req
103. He's not even chewing
them anymore.Copy !req
104. Ugh.Copy !req
105. Listen to this text
Boyle just sent me.Copy !req
106. "I finally know what used napkins
at a barbecue restaurant feel like."Copy !req
107. I hate breakups.Copy !req
108. I hope I never go
through one again.Copy !req
109. Really?Copy !req
110. You think you'll spend the
rest of your life with Teddy?Copy !req
111. What? No.Copy !req
112. Maybe. I don't know.Copy !req
113. I'm just saying getting
dumped is a nightmare.Copy !req
114. No arguments here.Copy !req
115. I remember
my worst breakup.Copy !req
116. Eighth grade.
Jenny Gildenhorn.Copy !req
117. Hey, Jenny.Copy !req
118. Jake, I don't wanna
go out anymore.Copy !req
119. I like Eddie Fung now.Copy !req
120. But it's my Bar Mitzvah.Copy !req
121. We were gonna grind.Copy !req
122. That day, I truly
became a man.Copy !req
123. Wonder where
Eddie Fung is now.Copy !req
124. 867 Clinton Street,
apartment 2A.Copy !req
125. I know exactly where
that bastard is.Copy !req
126. Get down! It's Wint!Copy !req
127. What? Wint? Holt
told you to drop that.Copy !req
128. I thought we were
working our burglary.Copy !req
129. I know, I lied. Apology?
Apology accepted.Copy !req
130. Look, Podolski is wrong.
Wint is guilty.Copy !req
131. Yesterday, I saw him get into
a car with a known drug dealer.Copy !req
132. I didn't have time
to take a picture.Copy !req
133. But today,
I came prepared.Copy !req
134. Did you tell Holt
what you saw? No.Copy !req
135. I don't trust him on this.Copy !req
136. How can you
not trust Holt?Copy !req
137. He's the executor
of my will.Copy !req
138. Wint has crazy
ties to City Hall.Copy !req
139. I just don't think Holt would
risk giving up his command.Copy !req
140. Anyway...Copy !req
141. Oh, crap.
Where'd he go?Copy !req
142. Ah!Copy !req
143. Hello, Detective Peralta.Copy !req
144. Amy.
Hmm?Copy !req
145. Tell me who's there.Copy !req
146. I'm blind.Copy !req
147. You disobeyed my direct
orders to drop this case.Copy !req
148. I staked out Wint
'cause I got a tipCopy !req
149. he was meeting up
with a drug dealer.Copy !req
150. And why didn't you
tell me about this?Copy !req
151. Because you told me
to drop the case.Copy !req
152. Look, let's just agree to say
"I'm sorry" on the count of three.Copy !req
153. One, two, three.Copy !req
154. See? Now,
I'm just disappointed in both of us.Copy !req
155. This is unacceptable.
You've crossed the line.Copy !req
156. Sir, I'm Amy Santiago
and I have something to say.Copy !req
157. I think you're wrong.Copy !req
158. I think Detective Peralta
is onto something,Copy !req
159. and you should
let him pursue it.Copy !req
160. I'm Amy Santiago
and I'm done talking.Copy !req
161. Good. Because this is
none of your concern.Copy !req
162. Commissioner Podolski is bringing
you up on charges and specs.Copy !req
163. You're facing
a six month suspension.Copy !req
164. And you're on administrative
leave until the hearing.Copy !req
165. Now, get out of my office.Copy !req
166. Fine.Copy !req
167. Here's my gun
and my badge.Copy !req
168. I don't need those.
You're not suspended yet.Copy !req
169. You're on
administrative leave.Copy !req
170. You never let me
do anything cool!Copy !req
171. Ah.
Good morning, Captain.Copy !req
172. I got you your
favorite breakfast,Copy !req
173. a plain bagel
and a water.Copy !req
174. Don't try to soften me up.Copy !req
175. Why did you ask me
to meet you in this alleyCopy !req
176. in Bensonhurst
at nine in the morning?Copy !req
177. Look, my best chance of
not getting suspendedCopy !req
178. is proving that
Wint is guilty.Copy !req
179. I've got a confidential
informant I need you to meet.Copy !req
180. You continued to work this
case against my direct orders?Copy !req
181. You astound me.Copy !req
182. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
183. You astound me, as well.Copy !req
184. But I didn't find him.Copy !req
185. Santiago did.Copy !req
186. What is going on
with you?Copy !req
187. I don't know, sir.Copy !req
188. We're both
off-roading it here.Copy !req
189. My internal GPS has been
recalculating for a week.Copy !req
190. This is Isaac.Copy !req
191. He used to be a pusher
for the Bay Ridge boys.Copy !req
192. Dude. Drugs don't
need pushing.Copy !req
193. They push themselves.
People love drugs.Copy !req
194. Tell him about
the donations.Copy !req
195. All right, look.
Every Friday,Copy !req
196. I'd put cash
into a duffle bagCopy !req
197. and bring it to Wint
Community Center,Copy !req
198. room 265,Copy !req
199. and they mark it down as a charitable
donation in their account book.Copy !req
200. Ergo, uh-laundering.Copy !req
201. So, why should
we believe you?Copy !req
202. I don't care
who you believe.Copy !req
203. Just know I hate
those dudes now.Copy !req
204. They carved up
my territory so bad,Copy !req
205. I had to quit
selling drugs.Copy !req
206. And I love
selling drugs.Copy !req
207. It was my dream job.Copy !req
208. Sir, I filled out
a warrant requestCopy !req
209. to search the community
center for the account book.Copy !req
210. I need you to sign it before
I can take it to a judge.Copy !req
211. I know I'm asking you to stick
your neck out, but please trust me.Copy !req
212. Fine.Copy !req
213. But I'll be with you
every step of the way.Copy !req
214. You know, you should just
put a microchip in his neckCopy !req
215. like a little doggie.Copy !req
216. All right, Isaac,
thank you. Yeah, you're done.Copy !req
217. All right, guys.Copy !req
218. We have Peralta's
hearing at four.Copy !req
219. Anybody seen Boyle?Copy !req
220. Present.Copy !req
221. He seems even worse
than before.Copy !req
222. I lost Vivian and
now I might lose Jake.Copy !req
223. I don't know
what else to do.Copy !req
224. I've tried
being supportive.Copy !req
225. I listened to him talk about
Vivian's lips for over two hours.Copy !req
226. He kept describing
them as ample.Copy !req
227. So ample.Copy !req
228. Rosa.Copy !req
229. Have you ever
been dumped?Copy !req
230. No.Copy !req
231. In all my breakups,
I'm always the dumper.Copy !req
232. I know you're
having a hard time,Copy !req
233. but I think
I can fix this.Copy !req
234. There's this thing that
I do whenever I... feel.Copy !req
235. What?Copy !req
236. Burn everything.Copy !req
237. Okay.
This feels right.Copy !req
238. No, it's terrible!
Vivian, I won't let you burn!Copy !req
239. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ow!Copy !req
240. Ah! Ooh!Copy !req
241. Ah!
Oh, that's so hot!Copy !req
242. What is that?
It's coffee.Copy !req
243. Coffee?Copy !req
244. Look at us.Copy !req
245. Three rogue cops
taking on a caseCopy !req
246. the Commissioner
told us to drop.Copy !req
247. Button up your jacket.
Sit up straight.Copy !req
248. Judge Mindel has a reputation
for being strict and proper.Copy !req
249. All right, no worries.
I'll just act like you.Copy !req
250. Say something so I can get
the cadence of your voice down.Copy !req
251. I will not.
Perfect.Copy !req
252. I will not.
I... will not.Copy !req
253. I will... not.Copy !req
254. Have a seat, Detective.Copy !req
255. I will not.Copy !req
256. Excuse me?
Uh, sorry.Copy !req
257. I meant, out of respect,
I will choose to stand.Copy !req
258. Sit, I will not.Copy !req
259. This looks like it was filled
out by a toddler. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
260. Now, we're going to have to
go through this point by point.Copy !req
261. Justice cannot be rushed.Copy !req
262. But could it be gently
nudged into hyper speed?Copy !req
263. I take it
you're the toddler.Copy !req
264. Mmm.Copy !req
265. Excuse me a moment.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
266. This is going terribly.Copy !req
267. New plan.Copy !req
268. I'm gonna charm her.Copy !req
269. Oh, no.Copy !req
270. I'm sorry.
I had to take that.Copy !req
271. You gotta do
what you gotta do.Copy !req
272. Captain Raymond Holt.Copy !req
273. What's up?Copy !req
274. You wanted
to see me, Sarge?Copy !req
275. Yeah. Come on in, Boyle.Copy !req
276. Sorry to hear about
your hand. Thanks.Copy !req
277. It makes it really hard
to manipulate my egg sack.Copy !req
278. Look.
Here's the deal.Copy !req
279. I did my junior year
abroad in Tokyo,Copy !req
280. and my girlfriend, Chiaki...Copy !req
281. She broke my heart.Copy !req
282. I stared at the paper
walls for weeks.Copy !req
283. Until my roommate showed
me how to vent my feelings.Copy !req
284. Oh.Copy !req
285. Take a plate
and smash it.Copy !req
286. Yeah.Copy !req
287. Oh!Copy !req
288. Feels good!
Yeah!Copy !req
289. All right. Your turn,
Boyle. Okay.Copy !req
290. Vent those feelings.
Okay.Copy !req
291. Here we go, Sarge.
Yeah.Copy !req
292. Ah!Copy !req
293. Oh, my testicles!Copy !req
294. We've got a warrant,
but now we need a plan.Copy !req
295. We can't just go in
there in our uniforms.Copy !req
296. They'll destroy the evidence before
we even walk through the door.Copy !req
297. Good point,
Captain Holt.Copy !req
298. Or should I say "Captain
Raymond Sex Vibes"?Copy !req
299. Who knew you had
such game?Copy !req
300. Yes, I've found that many
women want what they can't have.Copy !req
301. I get it.
Ew!Copy !req
302. What
the hell is going on?Copy !req
303. According to the
community center calendar,Copy !req
304. amateur ballroom
dancing competition.Copy !req
305. Ah, okay.Copy !req
306. I know how
we're gonna blend in.Copy !req
307. Don't say "thrift
store." Thrift store!Copy !req
308. I want to thank youCopy !req
309. For lettin' me be myselfCopy !req
310. AgainCopy !req
311. Thank you for let...Copy !req
312. Jake,
the overwhelming time pressure.Copy !req
313. Yep.Copy !req
314. All right, Isaac said the
account book was in room 265.Copy !req
315. It's gotta be upstairs.Copy !req
316. Let's head up.Copy !req
317. Hey. Where you going?Copy !req
318. To the dance contest.Copy !req
319. I am nationally recognized
Foxtrotter, Dave Blathis,Copy !req
320. and these are
my protégée,Copy !req
321. Rhonda Shawarma
and Hank Frankel.Copy !req
322. I don't care
who you are.Copy !req
323. Upstairs is closed
to the public.Copy !req
324. Fine, but we didn't have to endure
this crap when we danced in Barcelona.Copy !req
325. The hearing's
starting any second.Copy !req
326. There might be another
staircase off the dance floor.Copy !req
327. I'll sign us up for the
contest. Good idea.Copy !req
328. Oh, and Amy.
Hmm?Copy !req
329. Your dress makes you
look like a mermaid.Copy !req
330. Okay, I'll see you
in a little bit.Copy !req
331. I know we're all
concerned about Boyle.Copy !req
332. But, again,
there is a solution.Copy !req
333. Forget your ex with
meaningless sex.Copy !req
334. It rhymes
because it's true.Copy !req
335. All right, everyone.Copy !req
336. Peralta needs us
to stall.Copy !req
337. So, just keep your
answers long.Copy !req
338. Add stuff.Copy !req
339. Embellish your
asses off.Copy !req
340. Boyle, you're first.Copy !req
341. I don't know if
I'm up for this.Copy !req
342. I'm so emotional,
I can barely think straight.Copy !req
343. Great. Use that.Copy !req
344. Embrace the void.Copy !req
345. Would you say
Detective PeraltaCopy !req
346. was overly interested
in the Wint case?Copy !req
347. I only heard Detective Peralta
talk about Lucas Wint once.Copy !req
348. We were in my car.Copy !req
349. I took Vivian on our first
real date in that car.Copy !req
350. Vivian is my fiancée.Copy !req
351. My ex-fiancée.Copy !req
352. My never-wife.Copy !req
353. Detective Boyle,
if you couldCopy !req
354. please limit your comments
to the matter at hand.Copy !req
355. I will. I'd just like
the record to reflectCopy !req
356. that "matter at hand" was one
of Vivian's favorite expressions.Copy !req
357. We should
try to blend in.Copy !req
358. Stretch your leg
up over your head.Copy !req
359. What? You stretch your
leg up over your head.Copy !req
360. You think I wouldn't
if I could?Copy !req
361. Oh.Copy !req
362. Looks like the Captain
found a partner.Copy !req
363. Good Lord.Copy !req
364. Okay. We begin with
a free-dance periodCopy !req
365. to the spicy
sounds of rumba.Copy !req
366. All right. The linoleum
awaits, my dear.Copy !req
367. Oh, boy.Copy !req
368. I know we're undercover,Copy !req
369. but I'm starting to get real
nervous about this contest.Copy !req
370. You need
to see a therapist.Copy !req
371. Yeah.
Let's dance this way.Copy !req
372. Okay.
Ow!Copy !req
373. How did you manage to step on
both of my feet at the same time?Copy !req
374. I'm horrible at this.
When can we stop?Copy !req
375. I'm horrible at this. When
can we stop? I know, I know.Copy !req
376. Title of my sex tape.Copy !req
377. Yeah, well done.Copy !req
378. Title of my sex tape.Copy !req
379. Oh, my God.
The Captain.Copy !req
380. He could really
win this thing.Copy !req
381. How did you get
so amazing at dancing?Copy !req
382. Jake, focus.Copy !req
383. I found a back
stairway over here.Copy !req
384. And spin.Copy !req
385. Who is he?Copy !req
386. As far as I can recall,
Detective Peralta told me that...Copy !req
387. That...Copy !req
388. He...Copy !req
389. No, I never heard Jake
talk about Wint.Copy !req
390. And the very fact that
you have him on trialCopy !req
391. is cat doing
"Home Alone" face.Copy !req
392. Of...Copy !req
393. Look, I've known
Jake forever.Copy !req
394. Our friendship is little boy
holding little girl's hand.Copy !req
395. God. That guard by
the door will not move.Copy !req
396. Uh-oh. He just made
eye contact with me.Copy !req
397. Play it cool. Dance,
dance, dance, dance.Copy !req
398. You don't have
to say "dance"Copy !req
399. every time
you make a step.Copy !req
400. Good call.Copy !req
401. Hey, do you want me to
actually show you how to do thisCopy !req
402. so you don't hurt yourself
and possibly others?Copy !req
403. Yes.
Okay.Copy !req
404. Ready? Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
405. This is kinda fun.
Yeah.Copy !req
406. Maybe Teddy and I
should take a class.Copy !req
407. Yeah. Maybe.Copy !req
408. Guys, we're running out
of time. What's the plan?Copy !req
409. That guard won't move.Copy !req
410. We need a distraction.
I'm on it.Copy !req
411. Dance, dance, dance. Dance.Copy !req
412. Oh, God! Oh!Copy !req
413. My ankle!
Sir, my ankle!Copy !req
414. Oh! I heard a pop!
I heard a pop!Copy !req
415. Is that bad? Do you
know if that's bad?Copy !req
416. Oh, God!
Oh, I live to dance!Copy !req
417. Ah. Voilà.Copy !req
418. So glad no one
heard me say that.Copy !req
419. Gotcha.Copy !req
420. Ah, this is incredible.Copy !req
421. The account books
have everything.Copy !req
422. Dates, names, dollar amounts.
All right.Copy !req
423. I can't wait to
show this to Podolski.Copy !req
424. I should probably slip in a Miley
Cyrus "told you so" face real quick.Copy !req
425. It's hard to do on the move.Copy !req
426. Peralta, wait.Copy !req
427. Santiago,
give us a minute.Copy !req
428. Sir? I need you to do something.Copy !req
429. And it's gonna sound crazy,
but it's important.Copy !req
430. And I need you
to trust me.Copy !req
431. So, Detective Peralta,Copy !req
432. do you have any evidence you'd
like to present on your behalf?Copy !req
433. No.Copy !req
434. I have nothing.Copy !req
435. Jake, what happened?Copy !req
436. Did Holt ask you
to get suspended?Copy !req
437. No. He told me
to get fired.Copy !req
438. Why?
I don't know.Copy !req
439. I'm kind of
freaking out.Copy !req
440. He said to do it. And the next
thing I knew, I was just yelling.Copy !req
441. And your mother!
All your mothers.Copy !req
442. And your grandmothers.Copy !req
443. And your grandmothers'
little dogs.Copy !req
444. Are you done?
No, I'm not done!Copy !req
445. Oh,
you're done! You can't handle the me!Copy !req
446. Oh, my God.
Peralta.Copy !req
447. Hey.
What's going on?Copy !req
448. This is Special Agent
Clarke with the FBI. FBI?Copy !req
449. We couldn't let you
expose Lucas Wint.Copy !req
450. It would've compromised a much
larger ongoing federal investigation.Copy !req
451. We believe that Wint has
ties to the Ianucci crime family.Copy !req
452. That's one
of the best crime families.Copy !req
453. We needed you
to get fired for realCopy !req
454. because the Ianuccis
have moles inside the NYPD.Copy !req
455. And we need them
to trust you.Copy !req
456. Detective, we'd like
you to go undercoverCopy !req
457. and help us with
the investigation.Copy !req
458. Okay. The answer is yes.Copy !req
459. The details are...
My name is Duncan Buck.Copy !req
460. I was raised on an oil rig
by 90 men and one prostitute.Copy !req
461. We'd like you
to be yourself.Copy !req
462. Even better. This could
be very dangerous.Copy !req
463. So, please,
take some time and... No need. I'm in.Copy !req
464. Eyes closed,
head first, can't lose.Copy !req
465. I don't think
that's the expression.Copy !req
466. Can you just
let me have this?Copy !req
467. What I'm about to tell you
cannot leave this room.Copy !req
468. Detective Peralta
will be goingCopy !req
469. in an undercover
assignment with the FBI.Copy !req
470. His cover story is
that he was fired.Copy !req
471. Oh, my God.
My heart just threw up.Copy !req
472. Look, they're saying this
assignment will last about six months.Copy !req
473. So, while I'm gone, Boyle,
I want you to have my desk.Copy !req
474. I'll sit at it always.Copy !req
475. Rosa,
you can have my locker. Sweet.Copy !req
476. Amy, you can have
all of my open cases.Copy !req
477. Okay, that's enough.Copy !req
478. Peralta doesn't have the
authority to do any of this.Copy !req
479. You will all sit
at your own deskCopy !req
480. and work the cases
I assign you.Copy !req
481. But you will be missed.Copy !req
482. Thank you, Captain.Copy !req
483. Thank you for
trusting me.Copy !req
484. Okay. Now,
call us all names and storm out of here,Copy !req
485. for the benefit
of the bullpen.Copy !req
486. This is
the best day ever.Copy !req
487. I'll miss you guys.Copy !req
488. And your mother!Copy !req
489. And your mother!Copy !req
490. You're all
a bunch of pigs!Copy !req
491. I smell bacon!Copy !req
492. And guess
what else, Captain.Copy !req
493. You can take this tieCopy !req
494. and shove it straight
into your hell-hole.Copy !req
495. This whole place
reeks of bacon.Copy !req
496. And guess what?Copy !req
497. I'm going kosher. Because
"Jakey" don't dig on swine!Copy !req
498. Whoo!Copy !req
499. All right, everyone.
I wanna make a toast.Copy !req
500. To you guys.Copy !req
501. You'll never be Jake or Vivian,
but at least you're here.Copy !req
502. Ugh. I'm going to go
over by the bar,Copy !req
503. where I can
hear you worse.Copy !req
504. Oh, I get it. I'd abandon me,
too. That's it.Copy !req
505. Boyle, no more eggs.Copy !req
506. You're drinking
your troubles away.Copy !req
507. Start with this.Copy !req
508. I'm gonna get some
bottles from the bar.Copy !req
509. Make way! Large man helping
his little friend, coming through!Copy !req
510. You're so lucky you've never
been through a painful breakup.Copy !req
511. The only reason they
haven't been painfulCopy !req
512. is 'cause the guys
were all losers.Copy !req
513. I've never dated
anyone good.Copy !req
514. Hmm.Copy !req
515. Like you.Copy !req
516. Amy?Copy !req
517. Hey. I thought
I missed you.Copy !req
518. Hey, Jake.
Amazing assignment.Copy !req
519. I have to admit
I'm a little jealous.Copy !req
520. Really?
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
521. Well, if you want,
I could help you get fired.Copy !req
522. I'm really good at it.Copy !req
523. Yeah.Copy !req
524. This is real.
This is happening.Copy !req
525. Look, um...Copy !req
526. I don't wanna be a jerk.Copy !req
527. I know you're dating Teddy
and it's going really well.Copy !req
528. It's just...
What's going on?Copy !req
529. I don't know what's gonna
happen on this assignment.Copy !req
530. And if something
bad goes down,Copy !req
531. I think I'd be pissed at
myself if I didn't say this.Copy !req
532. I kinda wish something could
happen between us, romantic-styles.Copy !req
533. And I know it can't, because you're
with Teddy and I'm going undercover.Copy !req
534. And that's just how it is.Copy !req
535. But...Copy !req
536. Anyway. We're not supposed to
have any contact. So, I should go.Copy !req
537. America needs me.Copy !req
538. Bye.Copy !req
539. And another round
for everyone on me!Copy !req
540. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
541. What's the occasion?
Oh, I'm celebrating.Copy !req
542. My name is Jake Peralta and
I just got fired from the NYPD.Copy !req
543. I'm Leo. Ianucci.Copy !req
544. Nice to meet you.Copy !req