1. - Am I gonna die, captain?
Copy !req
2. - It'll be all right, private.
Do you hear me?
Copy !req
3. You need to look that
angel of death right in the eye
Copy !req
4. And shout—
"what the shit is that?"
Copy !req
5. - Macho man t-shirt.
Copy !req
6. - A macho man t-shirt?
Copy !req
7. All right, everyone stop!
Copy !req
8. God damn it, I told all of you
we need to make this authentic,
Copy !req
9. And look at you.
Copy !req
10. - Uh, yeah, you guys.
Copy !req
11. Don't you know
what rebels look like?
Copy !req
12. The only one taking
this reenactment seriously
Copy !req
13. Is dr. Kuzniak.
Copy !req
14. - Reenactment?
What reenactment?
Copy !req
15. - Quick question,
can I buy him?
Copy !req
16. - This some bullshit.
Copy !req
17. - I don't give a shit about
your cotton-picking problems.
Copy !req
18. See what I did there?
Copy !req
19. - I'ma get you
for this, asshole.
Copy !req
20. - Quit complaining.
Copy !req
21. You're not
the only slave here.
Copy !req
22. - Ew.
Copy !req
23. Denzel,
the most important thing
Copy !req
24. In civil war reenactment
is historical accuracy.
Copy !req
25. Hold on.
It's a, uh...
Copy !req
26. A call from the future.
Copy !req
27. What?
Copy !req
28. - Listen,
some old woman called
Copy !req
29. Claiming to be
your mother.
Copy !req
30. I said,
"that's a cruel joke.
Copy !req
31. His mom is dead."
Copy !req
32. Then she got really upset.
Copy !req
33. She said
she's on her way over.
Copy !req
34. - Mommy?
Copy !req
35. No!
Copy !req
36. - Captain's leading
the charge.
Copy !req
37. Let's get them sumbitches!
Copy !req
38. - Hey, no fair.
I shot you.
Copy !req
39. - Lick my musket balls,
yankee.
Copy !req
40. - Four score and seven—
aah!
Copy !req
41. - Yee-haw!
- Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
42. - We just won the civil war.
Copy !req
43. - I told you
the south would rise again.
Copy !req
44. - It's going to be just like
the good old days.
Copy !req
45. Awkward.
Copy !req
46. Wheel...
Copy !req
47. Of...
Copy !req
48. Fortune!
Copy !req
49. - I'm pat sajak,
Copy !req
50. And it's identical twins week
here on wheel.
Copy !req
51. Either that
or I'm extremely drunk again.
Copy !req
52. Pat's so funny.
Copy !req
53. - Connie, where were you?
Copy !req
54. You missed
the whole reenactment.
Copy !req
55. - Oh, sorry, ethel.
I've been busy.
Copy !req
56. Today's the day my lifelong
dream will finally come true.
Copy !req
57. - Connie, they've been
putting cheese
Copy !req
58. In the crust
for years now.
Copy !req
59. - No, my other lifelong dream.
Copy !req
60. Wheel of fortune is coming
to hazelhurst.
Copy !req
61. Here, you can read all
about it in the daily patter.
Copy !req
62. - You subscribe
to a daily pat sajak newsletter?
Copy !req
63. - No, silly, I write it.
Copy !req
64. And I've been watching
86 straight hours
Copy !req
65. Of wheel to get ready
for my tryout.
Copy !req
66. Want to borrow some tapes?
Copy !req
67. I have every episode ever.
Copy !req
68. This one's a mix tape.
Copy !req
69. all love puzzles.
Copy !req
70. oh!
Copy !req
71. Time for me to go
camp out in line.
Copy !req
72. Oh, pat, I can't wait
to meet you in person.
Copy !req
73. whoa, you stink.
Copy !req
74. - Code red, malloy.
Copy !req
75. We got to clean this place up
before mommy gets here.
Copy !req
76. - Here. Let me help you.
Copy !req
77. - I got to clear
my google history
Copy !req
78. And my bing history
Copy !req
79. And all the things
I asked jeeves about squirters.
Copy !req
80. You know what?
Screw it.
Copy !req
81. - If your mom's still alive,
Copy !req
82. Then whose ashes
are in that urn?
Copy !req
83. - Ex-girlfriend who gave me
some lip.
Copy !req
84. It also doubles
as a swear jar.
Copy !req
85. - Why did you tell everybody
your mom
Copy !req
86. Was dead in the first place?
Copy !req
87. - Because she's
a nightmare.
Copy !req
88. The year was 1968,
Copy !req
89. And I was just
an average american boy.
Copy !req
90. - Son!
Copy !req
91. - Uh, a fire started
on my pee pee,
Copy !req
92. And I had to rub it out.
Copy !req
93. - I think it's time you learned
about the birds and the bees.
Copy !req
94. - She talked to you about sex.
So what?
Copy !req
95. - About sex?
Uh-uh.
Copy !req
96. She locked me in a closet
full of birds and bees!
Copy !req
97. - This is what happens to boys
who touch their dirty pecker.
Copy !req
98. - Just because you're
a big baby,
Copy !req
99. You deprived me
of a grandmother?
Copy !req
100. The one person whose job
it is to spoil me.
Copy !req
101. Someone is going to pay
for this.
Copy !req
102. - The jews?
Copy !req
103. Dear god, she's here!
Quick!
Copy !req
104. I got to put on this christmas
sweater she knitted me.
Copy !req
105. - Well, that puts the "christ"
in christmas.
Copy !req
106. - Woodrow, my dear.
Copy !req
107. - Hi, mommy.
Copy !req
108. - Oh, what a lovely home
you have here.
Copy !req
109. Uh-oh, dusty.
Copy !req
110. You forgot to dust our plant
when you were little.
Copy !req
111. That's why your father left.
Copy !req
112. - I'm sorry, mommy.
I'm a bad boy.
Copy !req
113. Spank me.
Spank me!
Copy !req
114. - Oh, don't be silly,
woodrow.
Copy !req
115. We'll just call that
strike one.
Copy !req
116. - Oh, okay.
Copy !req
117. Malloy, forget you saw that.
Copy !req
118. - Oh, I wish I could.
Copy !req
119. and you must be
Copy !req
120. My cute little grandcubby.
Copy !req
121. - I am, gam-gam.
Copy !req
122. - Oh, I can't wait
to spoil you to death.
Copy !req
123. - See, woody?
Copy !req
124. Grandma's not a horrible
like you said.
Copy !req
125. - Ah!
my little comedian.
Copy !req
126. Don't listen to him, mommy.
I love having you here.
Copy !req
127. - Oh, good,
Copy !req
128. Because I was thrown
out of the nursing home.
Copy !req
129. Apparently when your roommate
cheats at bingo,
Copy !req
130. You're not allowed to cut
her feeding tube.
Copy !req
131. So I'm moving here
forever.
Copy !req
132. - What?
- Yay!
Copy !req
133. You can have woody's room.
Copy !req
134. - Wonderful.
Copy !req
135. - You know,
you ought to make woody
Copy !req
136. One of those "don't touch
your pecker" sweaters
Copy !req
137. For every day of the week.
Copy !req
138. He's got a problem.
Copy !req
139. - Would you like to solve
the puzzle?
Copy !req
140. - Tuh-hee caht...
Eyen... Tuh-hee hawt.
Copy !req
141. - Next.
Copy !req
142. Okay.
Give the wheel a spin.
Copy !req
143. Oh, this.
- Next.
Copy !req
144. Tell us a little something
about you.
Copy !req
145. - My name's connie,
and if I ever met pat sajak,
Copy !req
146. I'd probably crap myself.
Copy !req
147. - Uh-huh.
Copy !req
148. - Good job, connie.
Copy !req
149. - Okay, connie.
This first one is a phrase—
Copy !req
150. - I'd like to solve
the puzzle.
Copy !req
151. "a partridge in a pear tree."
Copy !req
152. - oh, my god.
Copy !req
153. That's amazing.
Copy !req
154. Looks like we filled
our last slot.
Copy !req
155. - Very impressive.
Copy !req
156. - P-p-pat sajak?
Copy !req
157. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
158. - And this is his first day
of kindergarten.
Copy !req
159. I think we all know
what bus he was riding.
Copy !req
160. - I had to come to school
six times that day.
Copy !req
161. - Because he missed
his mommy?
Copy !req
162. - No, because he refused
to consume anything
Copy !req
163. But my breast milk
until he was 17.
Copy !req
164. - You made me do that!
Copy !req
165. You said solid food
would give me polio.
Copy !req
166. - What's that, woodrow?
Copy !req
167. - Uh, mommy milk
is nummy yummy.
Copy !req
168. - Damn, who's the kinky hottie
with the wrinkly body?
Copy !req
169. - Oh, no. Oh, no, no.
No, you don't. No way.
Copy !req
170. - Call me denzel.
Copy !req
171. - Oh, my.
Copy !req
172. Well, aren't you just
the sweetest young man?
Copy !req
173. Anita johnson.
Copy !req
174. - Good, 'cause you
about to get a big one.
Copy !req
175. - You certainly
come on strong.
Copy !req
176. - Oh, I come on a lot
of things.
Copy !req
177. Want me to show you?
- All right, denzel.
Copy !req
178. Get out of here!
Copy !req
179. - Oh, my baby's upset.
Copy !req
180. - Maybe he needs
some of mommy's nummy yummy.
Copy !req
181. - Great idea, malloy.
Copy !req
182. - Oh, no, no, no!
I had a big breakfast.
Copy !req
183. - Suck it, woodrow.
Copy !req
184. Milk's gone bad.
Copy !req
185. - So, uh, what time
should I be here for the taping?
Copy !req
186. - Connie, the insurance adjuster
is telling us
Copy !req
187. The smartest thing to do
would be to set fire
Copy !req
188. To this building.
Copy !req
189. Even the soil on which
this building stands
Copy !req
190. Has been rendered barren
for generations to come.
Copy !req
191. So short answer,
there will be no taping.
Copy !req
192. Not for you, not ever,
please go.
Copy !req
193. - No!
I can't go!
Copy !req
194. This is my dream!
Copy !req
195. - We got a spinner.
Tranq her and yank her.
Copy !req
196. - oh!
Copy !req
197. - Mommy, listen.
Copy !req
198. You got to stay away
from this denzel guy.
Copy !req
199. He's trouble.
Copy !req
200. Trust me, he eats old ladies
for breakfast.
Copy !req
201. - Oh, you don't need
to tell me, son.
Copy !req
202. He's doing that
to me right now.
Copy !req
203. 'sup, woody?
Copy !req
204. - You son of a bitch!
I'll kill you!
Copy !req
205. - Woody, stop.
Copy !req
206. That's no way
to treat your father.
Copy !req
207. - My father?
Copy !req
208. - Oh, you didn't hear?
Copy !req
209. We got married.
Copy !req
210. I'm your daddy.
Copy !req
211. - Good morning, son.
Copy !req
212. I hope all that screaming
your mama did last night
Copy !req
213. Didn't keep you up.
Copy !req
214. - I didn't notice.
- Really?
Copy !req
215. Well, how about the sound
of my balls
Copy !req
216. Slapping
against her big old ass?
Copy !req
217. You had to hear that.
Copy !req
218. Bap! Bap! Bap!
Bap! Bap! Bap! Bap!
Copy !req
219. - I know what you're doing.
Copy !req
220. You're just getting back at me
for the whole slave thing,
Copy !req
221. But you have
gone too far, denzel.
Copy !req
222. - Please, call me daddy.
Copy !req
223. - I'll call you
a son of a—
Copy !req
224. Bestest daddy
in the whole wide world.
Copy !req
225. - Good morning, boys.
Copy !req
226. - Morning, baby.
Copy !req
227. I'm surprised
you can walk straight.
Copy !req
228. - Oh!
Copy !req
229. - Hey, boy,
run into the kitchen
Copy !req
230. And grab your daddy
a beer.
Copy !req
231. - You are not
the boss of me!
Copy !req
232. - Woodrow, denzel is
your father now,
Copy !req
233. And you're going to do
what he says.
Copy !req
234. Understand?
Copy !req
235. - But...
Yes, mommy.
Copy !req
236. - Ha ha! Me and you, we're gonna
have a lot of fun, son.
Copy !req
237. - Hi, pat.
Copy !req
238. Where am I?
Copy !req
239. Help.
Someone help me!
Copy !req
240. - Relax, pat.
Copy !req
241. We're going to be
best friends.
Copy !req
242. - You?
You're the shit woman.
Copy !req
243. What do you want?
Copy !req
244. - Ahh.
It feels as perfect as it looks.
Copy !req
245. - Get away from me,
you crazy stalker.
Copy !req
246. I'm not a crazy stalker.
Copy !req
247. Just ask back-pat.
Copy !req
248. Well, hello there, pat.
I'm back-pat.
Copy !req
249. - Look, I'm not sure
what you want from me, but—
Copy !req
250. - Say hello back, pat.
Copy !req
251. - I'm confused.
Copy !req
252. Are you telling back-pat
to say hello again,
Copy !req
253. Or do you want me to say hello
back to back-pat?
Copy !req
254. - Don't
with me, sajak.
Copy !req
255. Just because I love you
and your smooth botoxed skin
Copy !req
256. Doesn't mean I won't snap
your goddamn spine!
Copy !req
257. Be careful.
I think she's crazy.
Copy !req
258. - Hey!
What are you doing?
Copy !req
259. I'm watching the hockey game.
Copy !req
260. - Shut your ass up!
Copy !req
261. - Man, white people.
Copy !req
262. You know what I'm saying?
Copy !req
263. - What's so goddamn funny?
Copy !req
264. - Quiet, boy.
Copy !req
265. - Whi-I-I-I-I-ite people!
Copy !req
266. I did not see that coming.
Copy !req
267. - I can't take this crap!
Copy !req
268. I'm sick of your bullshit!
- Stop it!
Copy !req
269. Like it or not,
we are a family now.
Copy !req
270. You two need to spend
the day together
Copy !req
271. Like father and son.
Copy !req
272. - But, mommy—
- oh, anita, I don't want to.
Copy !req
273. - No arguments!
Copy !req
274. Yes, ma'am.
Copy !req
275. - Oh, what's the matter,
malloy?
Copy !req
276. - Daddy and grandpa denzel
were fighting.
Copy !req
277. I'm scared, gam-gam.
Copy !req
278. - Oh, you poor little bear.
Copy !req
279. Here, I found
this stack of hundreds
Copy !req
280. In woody's underwear drawer.
Copy !req
281. - White people.
You know what I'm saying.
Copy !req
282. - One for me
and one for pat
Copy !req
283. And four for me
and one for pat.
Copy !req
284. - Connie,
what are you doing?
Copy !req
285. You're taking enough food
for ten people.
Copy !req
286. - Yeah.
Copy !req
287. You usually only take
enough for nine.
Copy !req
288. - Um, there's a good re—
uh, a good explana—
Copy !req
289. Uh—
Copy !req
290. - Day two
in the mysterious disappearance
Copy !req
291. Of television icon
pat sajak.
Copy !req
292. Last seen at his hotel,
witnesses report seeing
Copy !req
293. Some sort of giant orange
sea cow in the vicinity.
Copy !req
294. - Connie's hoarding food,
and pat sajak is missing?
Copy !req
295. Steve,
are you doing the math on this?
Copy !req
296. - Yes.
Copy !req
297. Boobies!
Copy !req
298. - It is kind of nice
out here.
Copy !req
299. - I'm only here
because mommy's making me.
Copy !req
300. You are
on my everlasting shit list!
Copy !req
301. - Okay, look,
I was a little hard on you,
Copy !req
302. But I'd say
we're even now.
Copy !req
303. - Whatever.
Copy !req
304. Oh, damn it.
Copy !req
305. I don't know how
to bait this hook.
Copy !req
306. - Here you go.
Copy !req
307. Didn't your dad
ever take you fishing?
Copy !req
308. - Only once, and it took
that hooker all night
Copy !req
309. To get her fists
deep up my—
Copy !req
310. Oh, "fishing."
Copy !req
311. No, he didn't.
Copy !req
312. Oh, I got one.
I got one!
Copy !req
313. - Oh, get him!
Reel him in!
Copy !req
314. - I got him.
Copy !req
315. We got him.
Copy !req
316. - Good job, son.
This a nice fish.
Copy !req
317. - Agh! He bit me.
Copy !req
318. - Man, that fish.
Copy !req
319. whoo!
Copy !req
320. - Ouch!
My leg!
Copy !req
321. - You goddamn—
Copy !req
322. - Oh, my god.
Copy !req
323. I knew it.
Copy !req
324. She killed pat sajak
and chopped him up.
Copy !req
325. - I'm not seeing that.
Copy !req
326. Oh, my god.
Ethel's dead!
Copy !req
327. Then who the hell are you?
Copy !req
328. - I'm ethel.
Copy !req
329. - Then if you're ethel,
I must be...
Copy !req
330. Pat sajak!
Copy !req
331. So this is a mask!
Copy !req
332. It's stuck on there
pretty good.
Copy !req
333. Okay, maybe this knife
will help.
Copy !req
334. oh, yeah.
Copy !req
335. Okay, it's working!
It's working!
Copy !req
336. I'm not pat sajak!
I'm a skeleton!
Copy !req
337. white people, now I get it!
Copy !req
338. Oh.
Copy !req
339. - Hey, uh,
everything cool, woody?
Copy !req
340. - Yeah.
It's just...
Copy !req
341. Well, they're having
a father-son picnic
Copy !req
342. This weekend,
and it makes me sad.
Copy !req
343. - That they have to advertise
these things in bars?
Copy !req
344. - No, because my dad
promised to take me to one once,
Copy !req
345. But he never showed.
Copy !req
346. If only I'd dusted
that plant.
Copy !req
347. - Hey, you know what?
Copy !req
348. I'll take you
to the father-son picnic.
Copy !req
349. - You'd really do that
for me?
Copy !req
350. - I still want to buy
your slave.
Copy !req
351. Him.
- He's not a slave!
Copy !req
352. He's my father.
- Ooh!
Copy !req
353. - Uh-oh.
It's 9:30.
Copy !req
354. Mommy told me
to be home at 9:00.
Copy !req
355. - Don't worry
about your mama.
Copy !req
356. This is
father-and-son time.
Copy !req
357. Now let's bash
this mothers skull in
Copy !req
358. Together.
Copy !req
359. - Father-son time!
Copy !req
360. Father-son time!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
361. - shh.
My mom's a sheep.
Copy !req
362. Did I say "sheep"?
I meant to say "asleep."
Copy !req
363. - Woodrow, you missed
your curfew.
Copy !req
364. What am I going to do
with you?
Copy !req
365. - Hmm.
I got an idea.
Copy !req
366. [birds squawking, bees buzzing]
Copy !req
367. - Oh, pat,
have I got a surprise for you.
Copy !req
368. - Please don't tell me
there's a front pat.
Copy !req
369. - What do you think?
Copy !req
370. Now you can live the game
with me forever.
Copy !req
371. Wheel...
Copy !req
372. Of...
Copy !req
373. Fortune!
Copy !req
374. - Oh, my god!
Copy !req
375. Connie kidnapped
an oompa loompa!
Copy !req
376. - That's pat sajak,
you idiot.
Copy !req
377. - Right.
Copy !req
378. Oompa loompas aren't that short
and orange.
Copy !req
379. - I'm calling the cops.
Copy !req
380. - If you do that,
pat sajak will die.
Copy !req
381. Your friend connie
has snapped.
Copy !req
382. If you want to save his life,
you will do as I say.
Copy !req
383. - Who are you?
- Name's buzz buzzer.
Copy !req
384. I'm a professional game show
"host-age" negotiator.
Copy !req
385. - How often are popular
game show hosts held hostage?
Copy !req
386. - More than you think.
2012, family feud.
Copy !req
387. You think richard dawson
died of natural causes?
Copy !req
388. 2006, press your luck.
Copy !req
389. You think
peter tomarken retired?
Copy !req
390. Dick clark was
kidnapped and killed
Copy !req
391. On seven separate occasions.
Copy !req
392. We had to keep
tracking down look-alikes.
Copy !req
393. By the time
he had the stroke,
Copy !req
394. We were
on our tenth dick.
Copy !req
395. - Sounds like ethel
on a slow weekend.
Copy !req
396. Gam-gam bought me this,
by the way.
Copy !req
397. See you later, assholes.
Copy !req
398. - Damn, woody.
Copy !req
399. That woman's never going to stop
treating you like a child
Copy !req
400. Unless you stand up
for yourself.
Copy !req
401. Be a man.
I raised you better than that.
Copy !req
402. - You know what, dad?
You're right.
Copy !req
403. It is time for me
to stand up for myself.
Copy !req
404. Those birds
ate my hamstrings.
Copy !req
405. - Once you're in,
just act like contestants
Copy !req
406. And play the game.
Copy !req
407. When connie wins,
the euphoria will distract her.
Copy !req
408. Then you grab sajak
and get out.
Copy !req
409. If the crimson beast loses,
Copy !req
410. Wah-woh!
Game over.
Copy !req
411. - Anita, your son has something
to say to you.
Copy !req
412. - What is it?
Copy !req
413. - Uh, you are the prettiest
mommy in the whole world.
Copy !req
414. Bye.
- Woody, tell her.
Copy !req
415. - All right,
all right.
Copy !req
416. Uh, mommy, when you let
africanized bees
Copy !req
417. Bloodthirsty crows
attack me,
Copy !req
418. It's not nice, and I—
Copy !req
419. I don't want you
to do that anymore.
Copy !req
420. - Oh, I had no idea.
Copy !req
421. Would it make you
feel any better
Copy !req
422. If I whipped you
with a rusty bicycle chain?
Copy !req
423. - Oh, Jesus christ!
Copy !req
424. - And you!
You put him up to this.
Copy !req
425. You're a bad influence
on my son.
Copy !req
426. - Don't you talk that way
to me, woman.
Copy !req
427. Bitch, you think you're the only
one with a bicycle chain?
Copy !req
428. - I'd like to buy an e.
Copy !req
429. - You don't really
expect me
Copy !req
430. To play along
with this insanity, do you?
Copy !req
431. - Yeah.
Copy !req
432. Unless you want me
to cut off your face
Copy !req
433. And feed it to back-pat.
Copy !req
434. - Do we have any es?
Copy !req
435. - Steve? Ethel?
Copy !req
436. What are you doing
on wheel of fortune?
Copy !req
437. - We're here to play
the game, connie.
Copy !req
438. - Yay!
Copy !req
439. Sorry, gary.
Sorry, charlene.
Copy !req
440. Your time is up.
Thanks for playing.
Copy !req
441. Goddamn mother!
Copy !req
442. - Help me, please!
Copy !req
443. I'm too rich and important
to die.
Copy !req
444. I'm pat sajak.
Copy !req
445. - $5,000?
Crap.
Copy !req
446. Remember, steve,
you gotta lose.
Copy !req
447. Guess the letter q.
Copy !req
448. - That's a terrible idea.
Copy !req
449. I bet this puzzle's
full of qs.
Copy !req
450. Is there an s?
Copy !req
451. - There are five ses.
Copy !req
452. - Huh.
What are the odds of that?
Copy !req
453. [back-pat]
she's going to murder you all.
Copy !req
454. - Don't touch me with that!
- Ow!
Copy !req
455. Stop it! Hey!
Copy !req
456. - Woodrow, there's something
we have to tell you.
Copy !req
457. - Son, your mama and I
are getting a divorce.
Copy !req
458. - Oh, no!
It's my fault.
Copy !req
459. - It's not your fault.
Copy !req
460. The divorce fairy came and—
Copy !req
461. Of course it's your fault!
Copy !req
462. oh, no! I did it again!
Copy !req
463. Maybe I wasn't meant
to have a daddy.
Copy !req
464. - Aw, don't listen to her.
Copy !req
465. This ain't your fault.
Copy !req
466. You're a good boy, woody.
You just got a crazy-ass mama.
Copy !req
467. - Well, we can still go
to the father-son picnic, right?
Copy !req
468. - Not if we're not
father and son.
Copy !req
469. Them's the rules.
Copy !req
470. - There's only one thing
that's going to end this pain.
Copy !req
471. - Steve, what are you doing?
Copy !req
472. You're supposed to lose,
you dipshit.
Copy !req
473. - I'm trying to lose.
Copy !req
474. - Would you like to solve
the puzzle, steve?
Copy !req
475. - Steve, don't even answer.
Copy !req
476. - Get off my ballsack, ethel.
Copy !req
477. - That's correct.
Copy !req
478. The category was
"things that fred mertz
Copy !req
479. Should have said
on I love lucy."
Copy !req
480. And steve is the winner.
Copy !req
481. - Connie's not supposed
to lose!
Copy !req
482. Connie smash!
Copy !req
483. - Help! I'm being crushed
by a 350-pound monster.
Copy !req
484. - that's correct.
Copy !req
485. The category was
Copy !req
486. "things rebel wilson's couch
might say."
Copy !req
487. - Oh, I can't believe
I let myself fall
Copy !req
488. Under the voodoo spell
of that black man's dick.
Copy !req
489. You know all the money I took
out of your underwear drawer?
Copy !req
490. I think he stole some of that
out of my purse—typical.
Copy !req
491. - Don't you ever
talk that way about him.
Copy !req
492. - Uh-oh.
Does somebody need a spanking?
Copy !req
493. - Screw your spankings.
Copy !req
494. Denzel's right.
Copy !req
495. I am done being
pushed around by you.
Copy !req
496. I'm not the reason
daddy left.
Copy !req
497. You are!
Copy !req
498. - What are you saying,
woody?
Copy !req
499. - Sorry, mommy.
That was a little harsh.
Copy !req
500. I guess what I really
meant to say is:
Copy !req
501. Get the out!
Copy !req
502. - No, gam-gam, don't go.
Copy !req
503. I n—I need more presents.
Copy !req
504. I m—
I mean I love you.
Copy !req
505. - I don't have
any more money, malloy.
Copy !req
506. - Choke on my balls.
Copy !req
507. you bastard.
Copy !req
508. You made me love you
and your godlike knowledge
Copy !req
509. Of the alphabet,
and then you made me lose.
Copy !req
510. Now you must die, pat!
Copy !req
511. - I am not losing
another one.
Copy !req
512. I'll hold her off!
Save sajak!
Copy !req
513. Bah—bah—bur—brr...
Copy !req
514. - Give me back my pat!
Copy !req
515. - Wait, why are we risking
our lives for pat sajak?
Copy !req
516. - Please don't hurt me.
I'll do anything.
Copy !req
517. - Anything?
Copy !req
518. - And please welcome
my lovely cohost.
Copy !req
519. - Hi, pat.
Copy !req
520. - Daddy, who's that man?
Copy !req
521. - Looks like
a pedophile, son.
Copy !req
522. - Hey, he's no pedophile.
He's my son.
Copy !req
523. - Denzel, you came!
Copy !req
524. - Shh, now let's crush
these five-year-old skulls
Copy !req
525. Together.
Copy !req
526. - Yeah!
Copy !req