1. - MALLOY, I AM
HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED.Copy !req
2. YOU DON'T KNOW A THING
ABOUT THE VALUE OF MONEY.Copy !req
3. - I STAND BY MY PURCHASE.Copy !req
4. - IT'S NOT YOUR PURCHASE
IF IT'S ON MY CREDIT CARD!Copy !req
5. HOW MUCH WAS THIS THING?Copy !req
6. - I GOT IT AT A GOOD PRICE,
AND I CAN DO THIS.Copy !req
7. NO! AAH! WHY?Copy !req
8. WHYYY?Copy !req
9. - YOU'RE GONNA BANKRUPT ME,
MALLOY.Copy !req
10. RETURN IT, RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
11. LET'S GO!Copy !req
12. - FINE.
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IT WAS HERE.Copy !req
13. - RANGERS,
I FINALLY FIGURED OUTCopy !req
14. WHY THIS PARK'S
BEEN LOSING MONEY.Copy !req
15. - BECAUSE YOU'VE
BEEN STEALING IT.Copy !req
16. - I DIDN'T STEAL NOTHING.Copy !req
17. - NO ONE'S BLAMING YOU,
DENZEL.Copy !req
18. - SORRY. USUALLY, THIS IS WHEN
THE BEAR SAYS SOMETHING RACIST.Copy !req
19. - CAN'T, I'M PLAYING
"HATE WORDS WITH FRIENDS."Copy !req
20. - WE ARE IN THE DUMPERCopy !req
21. BECAUSE THIS PARK
ISN'T FUN ANYMORE.Copy !req
22. THERE'S NO MORE GOOD, CLEAN,
FAMILY WHOLESOMENESS.Copy !req
23. SO I BRING TO YOU...Copy !req
24. FIRECRACKER JIM'S
FAMILY FUN TIME CARNIVAL!Copy !req
25. - TAKES YOU BACK
TO YOUR CHILDHOOD, DOESN'T IT?Copy !req
26. - OH, YEAH,
NOTHING SAYS "FAMILY FUN"Copy !req
27. LIKE CATCHING HEP-C
FROM A CARNIE.Copy !req
28. - THAT'S YOUR CHILDHOOD,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
29. - WELL, I THINK
IT'S AN AWESOME IDEA!Copy !req
30. LOOK AT ALL
THESE GREAT GAMES!Copy !req
31. - POKE THE RABBIT
IN THE EYEBALL!Copy !req
32. - DONKEY KICKS, $5.Copy !req
33. - STEP RIGHT UPCopy !req
34. TO BOBBY POSSUMCODS'S
PETTING ZOO!Copy !req
35. HEAVY PETTING ZOO!Copy !req
36. - ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.Copy !req
37. CROWD CONTROL,
TRASH DUTY—Copy !req
38. WHAT THE—?Copy !req
39. - LOOK OUT, EXCUSE ME,
MOVE ASIDE.Copy !req
40. RANGER STEVE WILLIAMS
COMING THROUGH.Copy !req
41. - OH, THANK GOD,
A PARK RANGER.Copy !req
42. SOMEONE JUST GOT
A SKULL FRACTURE.Copy !req
43. - WHO?
- YOU!Copy !req
44. NOW GET YOUR ASS
TO THE END OF THE LINE.Copy !req
45. - BUT I-
MAN.Copy !req
46. WHY DOES THE HANDICAPPED KID
GET TO CUT?Copy !req
47. LIFE CAN BE SO UNFAIR.Copy !req
48. - HA, HA.Copy !req
49. - RIGHT THIS WAYCopy !req
50. FOR THE GREATEST SIDE SHOW
ON EARTH!Copy !req
51. BE AMAZED BY THE ONE-HEADED,
ONE-TAILED SNAKE!Copy !req
52. BE ASTOUNDEDCopy !req
53. BY THE MYSTERIOUS
HORNLESS UNICORN!Copy !req
54. - THIS IS LAME.
LET'S GO.Copy !req
55. - WAIT, WHO ARE THEY?Copy !req
56. - OH, DON'T LOOK AT THEM.Copy !req
57. THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH
OF CIRCUS FREAKS.Copy !req
58. BUT BEHOLD...Copy !req
59. A BIRD THAT HAS
THE ABILITY...Copy !req
60. TO SWIM!Copy !req
61. - NO, REALLY,
WHO ARE THEY?Copy !req
62. WELL, IF YOU INSISTCopy !req
63. ON SEEING THE LAME STUFF,
HERE'S DOG BOY,Copy !req
64. OCTOPUS LADY,
GIRAFFE GIRL, AND—Copy !req
65. - WHOA, LET ME GUESS.Copy !req
66. THAT'S DICK NOSE.Copy !req
67. - UH, NO, MY NAME IS JERRY.Copy !req
68. - AND MY NEWEST ADDITION,Copy !req
69. THE CARPET-MUNCHING
VAGINASAURUS!Copy !req
70. - HEY!
CONNIE IS NOT A FREAK!Copy !req
71. - LUCAS, LET ME
TAKE YOUR PICTURECopy !req
72. WITH THE BIG, UGLY FREAK.Copy !req
73. - [screams, cries]Copy !req
74. - THAT'S NOT RIGHT!Copy !req
75. - DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
76. I TREAT EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF THEMCopy !req
77. LIKE MY OWN CHILDREN.Copy !req
78. DID I MENTION
I ING HATE MY CHILDREN?Copy !req
79. - THEY NEED HELP.Copy !req
80. COME ON, FOLLOW ME!Copy !req
81. - OH, MY GOD,
WHAT DID SHE DO?Copy !req
82. THEY CAN'T SURVIVE
IN A NON-CAGE ENVIRONMENT.Copy !req
83. THEY'LL GO CRAZY
ON THE OUTSIDE!Copy !req
84. WE'VE GOT TO GET THEM BACK!Copy !req
85. - UH, NOT ME.Copy !req
86. I DON'T ASSOCIATE
WITH ANYTHING THAT UGLY.Copy !req
87. - YEAH, UNLESS
IT BUYS YOU TWO DRINKS.Copy !req
88. THEN YOU'LL GIVE IT
A TOOTHY B.J.Copy !req
89. IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM.Copy !req
90. DID I SAY THAT?Copy !req
91. WOODY, I NEED 20 BUCKS.
I WANT TO PLAY WHACK-A-MOLE.Copy !req
92. - NO!
- PLEASE?Copy !req
93. THEY USE REAL MOLES.Copy !req
94. NO, MALLOY. ENOUGH.Copy !req
95. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE
I'M MADE OF, MONEY?Copy !req
96. - NO, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE MADE OUT OF HAM.Copy !req
97. NOW GIVE ME SOME MONEY!Copy !req
98. - FORGET IT.Copy !req
99. YOU NEED TO STOP
BLOWING MY MONEYCopy !req
100. AND MAKE SOME
FOR YOURSELF.Copy !req
101. IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO GET A JOB.Copy !req
102. - A JOB?
- YES!Copy !req
103. I'M THROUGH
BEING YOUR PERSONAL ATM.Copy !req
104. - WHAT DOES ASS-TO-MOUTH
HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?Copy !req
105. - FINALLY.Copy !req
106. I'VE BEEN IN THIS LINE
FOR THREE HOURS.Copy !req
107. - SORRY, FOLKS.
RIDE'S CLOSED FOR REPAIR.Copy !req
108. - REPAIR?Copy !req
109. - BY "REPAIR," I MEAN
I SNORTED TOO MUCH ANGEL DUST,Copy !req
110. AND YOU'LL BE LUCKY
IF I DON'T EAT YOUR FACE OFF!Copy !req
111. - AH, MAN.Copy !req
112. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
113. THE PARALYZER!
AND THERE'S NO LINE!Copy !req
114. HEY, FIRECRACKER JIM.Copy !req
115. IS THIS RIDE DANGEROUS?Copy !req
116. - WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU THINK?Copy !req
117. IT'S CALLED "THE PARALYZER,"
NOT "THE BLOWJOBBER"!Copy !req
118. THAT LINE'S OVER THERE!Copy !req
119. - SEE YA.
- WATCH OUT, NOW.Copy !req
120. YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU GONNA
HAVE TO GIVE ONE OR GET ONE.Copy !req
121. - EEK—UH...
I THINK I'LL DO THIS ONE.Copy !req
122. WHEE!Copy !req
123. YAH!Copy !req
124. OH!Copy !req
125. WHOO-HOO!Copy !req
126. HOO-EE!Copy !req
127. YAH!Copy !req
128. - HEY, YOU ALIVE?Copy !req
129. - NO REFUNDS.Copy !req
130. - COME ON, GUYS, IN HERE.Copy !req
131. YOU'LL BE SAFE
IN MY CABIN.Copy !req
132. YOU CAN STAY
AS LONG AS YOU WANT.Copy !req
133. - CONNIE, WHO THE HELL
ARE THESE FREAKS?Copy !req
134. - THEY'RE NOT FREAKS.
THEY'RE MY NEW BEST FRIENDS.Copy !req
135. - CONNIE, YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS
WITH THESE WEIRDOES.Copy !req
136. THEY A BUNCH OF—
HEY, WHAT'S UP, JERRY?Copy !req
137. - YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?Copy !req
138. - YEAH, WE WENT
TO MIDDLE SCHOOL TOGETHER.Copy !req
139. HEY, JERRY, YOU REMEMBER
WHEN YOU SNEEZEDCopy !req
140. AND GOT WANDA PREGNANT?Copy !req
141. - I'M STILL PAYING
FOR THAT COLD.Copy !req
142. - I COME BEARING SAD NEWS.Copy !req
143. AS YOU KNOW, STEVE TOOK
A VERY BAD FALL YESTERDAY,Copy !req
144. AND, UH, WELL, I'M SORRY
TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS,Copy !req
145. BUT BECAUSE
OF HIS INJURIES, WE—Copy !req
146. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
WE LOST A LOT OF MONEY,Copy !req
147. 'CAUSE WE HAD TO SHUT
THE CARNIVAL DOWN EARLY!Copy !req
148. GRIEVE IN YOUR OWN WAY!Copy !req
149. - ALL RIGHT!
DAY OFF!Copy !req
150. - WAIT, HOW IS STEVE?Copy !req
151. - STEVE WHO?
OH!Copy !req
152. WHAT AM I,
HIS GODDAMN BABYSITTER?Copy !req
153. GOOD MORNING, RANGERS.Copy !req
154. SORRY. SORRY.Copy !req
155. SORRY. WHOOPS.Copy !req
156. AAH, AAH.
HELP ME, JESUS.Copy !req
157. SORRY.Copy !req
158. - OH, LOOK, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
159. THE ATTENTION WHORE
IS HERE.Copy !req
160. - WOODY!
- OH, WALK IT OFF, STEVE.Copy !req
161. EVERYTHING
WILL TURN OUT FINE,Copy !req
162. JUST LIKE IT DID
FOR CHRISTOPHER REEVE.Copy !req
163. - BUT HE'S DEAD.
- EXACTLY.Copy !req
164. - THANKS FOR COMING TO SEE ME
IN THE HOSPITAL.Copy !req
165. OH, WAIT.
NONE OF YOU DID.Copy !req
166. - LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
STEVE.Copy !req
167. MY BEST FRIEND
IS HANDICAPPED!Copy !req
168. THINK OF ALL THE ATTENTION
I'LL GET.Copy !req
169. - OH, I FEEL TERRIBLE.Copy !req
170. ARE YOU GONNA
BE OKAY, STEVE?Copy !req
171. ALL QUESTIONS FOR MY CLIENTCopy !req
172. CAN BE DIRECTED TO ME.Copy !req
173. BRICKLEBERRY PARK
IS CURRENTLY INACCESSIBLECopy !req
174. TO MY HANDICAPPED CLIENT.Copy !req
175. IF IT IS NOT BROUGHT
UP TO CODE,Copy !req
176. YOU FACE FINES
AND POSSIBLE LITIGATION.Copy !req
177. WHAT?
YOU TOLD ME TO GET A JOB.Copy !req
178. - ATTORNEY AT LAW?
YOU AIN'T NO LAWYER.Copy !req
179. - YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
180. NOW I'M A LAWYER.Copy !req
181. THANK YOU,
UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX.Copy !req
182. - SO, MR. JOHNSON,Copy !req
183. HERE'S HOW YOU'RE
GOING TO MAKE THE PARKCopy !req
184. HANDICAP-ACCESSIBLE
FOR MY CLIENT.Copy !req
185. - PEOPLE OF EARTH,
YOU ARE IN NO DANGER.Copy !req
186. PLEASE REMAIN
IN YOUR HOMES.Copy !req
187. HA, HA, HA.Copy !req
188. - GIVE ME THAT.
YOU CAN STILL TALK, YOU MORON.Copy !req
189. - GIVE IT BACK.Copy !req
190. IT MAKES ME SOUND SMART,
LIKE TONY HAWK,Copy !req
191. THAT CRIPPLED SCIENTIST.Copy !req
192. - NOW, LET'S GET
DOWN TO BUSINESS.Copy !req
193. LOWER THOSE WINDOWS
A 1/2 INCH.Copy !req
194. WE NEED A RAMP TO THAT RAMP.Copy !req
195. THERAPEUTIC HOT TUB
RIGHT HERE.Copy !req
196. AND SOME THERAPEUTIC HOOKERS
HERE, HERE—Copy !req
197. - AND HERE.Copy !req
198. WHAT? CAN'T A BROTHER
GET SOME HANDI-SCRAPS?Copy !req
199. - OH HO, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING, MALLOY.Copy !req
200. YOU'RE JUST GETTING BACK AT ME
FOR CUTTING YOU OFF.Copy !req
201. I KNOW THAT STEVE
IS FAKING THIS WHOLE THING.Copy !req
202. - WHATEVER IT IS,
I LIKE IT.Copy !req
203. YOU GOT THE LIFE,
FOR REAL, STEVE.Copy !req
204. JUST LOUNGING ALL DAY,
EVERYONE TAKING CARE OF YOU.Copy !req
205. V.I.P. TREATMENT
WHEREVER YOU GO.Copy !req
206. - THEY EVEN GAVE ME THIS
NEVER-ENDING BAG OF PUDDING.Copy !req
207. - STEVE, THAT'S SHIT.Copy !req
208. - WELL,
THAT'S A LITTLE HARSH.Copy !req
209. IT'S NOT SNACK PACK,
BUT IT'S FREE.Copy !req
210. AND A COUPLE OF HOURS
AFTER I EAT IT,Copy !req
211. IT FILLS BACK UP AGAIN.Copy !req
212. - OH, GOD.Copy !req
213. - HERE'S THE TOTAL COSTCopy !req
214. FOR COMPLETING
ALL THE NECESSARY UPGRADESCopy !req
215. TO THE PARK.Copy !req
216. - WHY DO I HAVE
TO CALL A PHONE NUMBERCopy !req
217. TO FIND OUT
HOW MUCH I OWE?Copy !req
218. - UH, THAT IS NOT
A PHONE NUMBER.Copy !req
219. THAT IS THE AMOUNT DUE.Copy !req
220. - THIS IS A BUNCH
OF HOG SHIT.Copy !req
221. I KNOW YOU CAN WALK, STEVE,
AND I'M GONNA PROVE IT!Copy !req
222. DAMN, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?Copy !req
223. YEAH, WHAT IS THAT?Copy !req
224. - IT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK
ED A BURNING TIRE.Copy !req
225. - OR YOUR FEET COOKING INSIDE
TWO GEORGE FOREMAN GRILLS!Copy !req
226. - HMM, I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING,Copy !req
227. BUT IT SMELLS DELICIOUS.Copy !req
228. - GOOD POKER FACE, STEVE,
BUT I'M NOT BUYING IT.Copy !req
229. - OH, THAT'S JUST SAD.Copy !req
230. I CAN'T BELIEVE
GEORGE FOREMAN PUT HIS NAMECopy !req
231. ON THEM CHEAP-ASS GRILLS.Copy !req
232. LOOK AT YOUR FEET,
COOKED ALL UNEVEN AND SHIT.Copy !req
233. - KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, STEVE.Copy !req
234. I KNOW JUST WHAT
WILL CHEER YOU UP.Copy !req
235. DANCING!Copy !req
236. - BUT I CAN'T REALLY DANCE.
OR MOVE. AT ALL.Copy !req
237. - STEVE, EVER SINCE
YOU GOT PARALYZED,Copy !req
238. PEOPLE LET YOU DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT.Copy !req
239. I THINK THAT
THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ME TOO.Copy !req
240. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
241. - HOLD ON TO YOUR DEAD,
LIFELESS ASS FOR A SECOND,Copy !req
242. AND LET ME DEMONSTRATE.Copy !req
243. - WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?Copy !req
244. - I THINK I'M GOING INSIDE
THIS MOTHERCLUB,Copy !req
245. NO CHARGE, BITCH.Copy !req
246. UH, THIS
IS MY BEST FRIEND, STEVE.Copy !req
247. HE JUST GOT PARALYZED.Copy !req
248. - OH, I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
249. GET OUTTA THE WAY!Copy !req
250. THIS MAN'S FRIEND'S
HANDICAPPED!Copy !req
251. LOOK AT HIM!
HE'S ALL ED UP!Copy !req
252. - WHAT THE
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?Copy !req
253. - GRIEVING.
I GOT A CRIPPLED FRIEND.Copy !req
254. - OH, MY BAD.Copy !req
255. HERE, UH, THAT'S CRAP.Copy !req
256. TAKE SOMETHING
FROM THE TOP SHELF.Copy !req
257. - OH, I'LL TAKE
THE WHOLE TOP SHELF.Copy !req
258. YEAH! WHOO!Copy !req
259. MY FRIEND CRIPPLED!
I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!Copy !req
260. I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!Copy !req
261. - DENZEL, YOU'RE WASTED.
WHO'S GONNA DRIVE HOME?Copy !req
262. - YOU LET ME
WORRY ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
263. WHAT A NIGHT! V.I.P.!Copy !req
264. WHOO!Copy !req
265. STEVE, YOU GETTING PARALYZEDCopy !req
266. IS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.Copy !req
267. - DENZEL,
THIS DOESN'T SEEM SAFE.Copy !req
268. - RELAX.Copy !req
269. YOU'RE DOING FINE.Copy !req
270. AH—AH—
- GEZUNDHE—AAH!Copy !req
271. - WHAT THE HELL?Copy !req
272. I WILL KILL YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD!Copy !req
273. OH.
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.Copy !req
274. I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
275. - WE'LL LET IT SLIDE
THIS TIME,Copy !req
276. BUT DON'T LET THAT SHIT
HAPPEN AGAIN!Copy !req
277. - HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS
SEEN MY WIFE ANYWHERE?Copy !req
278. - OH, GOD, IT HURTS!Copy !req
279. - HONEY, SHUT UP!
IT'S A HANDICAPPED DRIVER!Copy !req
280. - OH, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
281. I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED.Copy !req
282. - YOU'RE PAST DUE
FOR PAYMENTCopy !req
283. ON THE HANDICAP-ACCESSIBLE
NUDE BEACH.Copy !req
284. - OH, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
285. LET ME JUST GRAB
MY CHECKBOOK.Copy !req
286. AHA!Copy !req
287. - NOPE, NOTHING.Copy !req
288. - OKAY, NOW DO YOU
BELIEVE HE'S PARALYZED?Copy !req
289. - NO, I DON'T, AND I'M NOT
GONNA GIVE YOU ANY MORE MONEYCopy !req
290. FOR YOUR LITTLE
HANDI-SCAM.Copy !req
291. - THEN WE WILL SEE YOU
IN COURT.Copy !req
292. - NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST,
ASSHOLE.Copy !req
293. OH, WAIT,
YOU'RE ON MY SIDE.Copy !req
294. SORRY.
I'M DYING OF BLOOD LOSS.Copy !req
295. - I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED
OF HAVING FRIENDS OVER.Copy !req
296. - OH!Copy !req
297. GOOD CALL.
TEA'S BORING.Copy !req
298. WHO WANTS TO PLAY
SCATTERGORIES?Copy !req
299. - UH, SO YOU GUYS WANT ME
TO HEAT THAT UP?Copy !req
300. - SO I HOPE YOU GUYS
SAVED ROOM FOR DESSERT.Copy !req
301. SNICKERDOODLES?Copy !req
302. - ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
303. INTO THE TRUCK!Copy !req
304. - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
305. YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM BACK
TO THAT HORRIBLE CARNIVAL.Copy !req
306. - CARNIVAL?
NO, THIS IS WORSE.Copy !req
307. THEY'VE BEEN SUMMONED
FOR JURY DUTY.Copy !req
308. - IF IT'S A BLACK GUY,
WE'RE FRYING HIM.Copy !req
309. BEST PARTY EVER.Copy !req
310. - OW!
DENZEL, STO—Copy !req
311. OUCH! STOP!Copy !req
312. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.Copy !req
313. - AH, CHILL OUT,
BROKE BACK-ENROE.Copy !req
314. THIS IS AWESOME.Copy !req
315. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LET ME
IN THIS ALL-WHITE COUNTRY CLUBCopy !req
316. JUST BECAUSE
OF YOUR BUSTED-ASS SPINE.Copy !req
317. - EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
318. WE HAVE THIS COURT RESERVED.Copy !req
319. - WELL, WELL.
LOOK AT YOU.Copy !req
320. TITTIES LIKE TWO WIND SOCKS
ON A CALM DAY.Copy !req
321. YOU WANT TO GET FREAKY
BEHIND THAT DUMPSTER?Copy !req
322. - WELL, I NEVER.Copy !req
323. - EXCUSE ME,
THAT'S MY WIFE.Copy !req
324. - OH, YEAH?
WELL, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND.Copy !req
325. OH, YEAH, YOU DIRTY.Copy !req
326. - THAT'S NICE,
WHAT YOU'RE DOING THERE.Copy !req
327. - AAH!Copy !req
328. - HI.Copy !req
329. I WANT THE TRUTH, STEVE,Copy !req
330. 'CAUSE I KNOW
YOU'RE FAKING IT.Copy !req
331. - NO, I'M NOT.
I SWEAR TO GOD.Copy !req
332. - YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS IN THE JUNGLE,Copy !req
333. I DID A FEW THINGS
I WASN'T VERY PROUD OF.Copy !req
334. TECHNICALLY, STEVEN,
I'M A WAR CRIMINAL.Copy !req
335. - GOTTA ROLL.Copy !req
336. NO, WOODY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
337. - YOU KNOW, THIS WAS BANNED
BY THE GENEVA CONVENTION.Copy !req
338. COOTCHY-COOTCHY,
WOOTCHY-COOTCHY.Copy !req
339. COOTCHY.Copy !req
340. YOU'RE A TOUGH
SON OF A BITCH, STEVE.Copy !req
341. I WOULD'VE HAD ABU NAZIR
CRYING BY NOW.Copy !req
342. TIME FOR MY LAST OPTION.Copy !req
343. - OH, MY GOD,
WOODY, STOP.Copy !req
344. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
345. - SCREW THIS COURT CASE.Copy !req
346. YOU'RE NOT GONNA STEAL
ANY MORE OF MY MONEY.Copy !req
347. YOU GET UP
OR YOU GO DOWN!Copy !req
348. THREE... TWO...Copy !req
349. TWO AND A HALF...Copy !req
350. ONE! WALK!Copy !req
351. - OOPSIE.Copy !req
352. OKAY, STEVE!Copy !req
353. NOW I BELIEVE YOU!Copy !req
354. I'M STILL ALIVE.Copy !req
355. I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M STILL ALI—WAIT.Copy !req
356. WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED.Copy !req
357. $2 OFF A SUBWAY FOOTLONG!Copy !req
358. OH, IT'S EXPIRED.Copy !req
359. WELL, AT LEAST
I CAN WALK AGAIN.Copy !req
360. - GOD DAMN IT,
HOW CAN STEVE RUN LATECopy !req
361. WHEN HE CAN'T EVEN WALK?Copy !req
362. GOOD MORNING, COUNSELOR.Copy !req
363. SO HOW MUCH MONEY
ARE WE GONNA MAKECopy !req
364. OFF ME BEING HURT
ON THAT ROLLERCOASTER, EH?Copy !req
365. - NOTHING NOW.Copy !req
366. YOU CAN WALK?
WHAT THE HELL?Copy !req
367. - OH, YEAH.
AND I CAN DO THIS.Copy !req
368. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,
BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP.Copy !req
369. - YOU HAD ONE THING TO DO.
YOU HAD ONE THING TO DO.Copy !req
370. STAY PARALYZED.
HOW'D YOU THAT UP?Copy !req
371. - I KNOW, IT SUCKS.Copy !req
372. I'VE GOT TO WIPE
MY OWN ASS AGAIN.Copy !req
373. - THE TRIAL'S IN TEN MINUTES.
I NEED YOU TO BE PARALYZED.Copy !req
374. HOLD ON.Copy !req
375. - WE'LL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH IT.Copy !req
376. HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE...Copy !req
377. - OKAY.Copy !req
378. - STEVE, SIT DOWN
AND DON'T MOVE.Copy !req
379. YOU HAVE TO STAY
PERFECTLY STILL.Copy !req
380. DO NOT BLOW THIS.Copy !req
381. - WHOA, THIS GUY'S
GOT A LEMONADE BAG.Copy !req
382. SCORE!Copy !req
383. - THE LITIGANTS
HAVE BEEN SWORN IN.Copy !req
384. - MR. MALLOY,
YOU AND YOUR CLIENTCopy !req
385. ARE SUING WOODY JOHNSON
FOR MONEYS THAT HE OWESCopy !req
386. TO COMPLETE
THE HANDICAP-ACCESSIBLECopy !req
387. RENOVATIONS
TO BRICKLEBERRY PARKCopy !req
388. AND FOR PAIN AND SUFFERING
CAUSED BY, AND I QUOTE,Copy !req
389. "LOOKING AT HIS BIG, FAT,
ED-UP FACE."Copy !req
390. - OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
391. LET THE RECORD SHOW
THAT MY FACECopy !req
392. IS NEITHER FAT
NOR ED-UP.Copy !req
393. - OBJECTION OVERRULED.
IT IS BOTH, SIR.Copy !req
394. - NOW, DR. KUZNIAK,
AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL,Copy !req
395. WOULD YOU SAY
THAT THIS AMUSEMENT RIDECopy !req
396. COULD ACTUALLY
PARALYZE SOMEONE?Copy !req
397. - OH, NOT AT ALL.Copy !req
398. ACTUALLY, I FIND THE BLOWJOBBER
TO BE QUITE STIMULATING.Copy !req
399. I WENT ON IT NINE TIMES.Copy !req
400. - UH, WE'RE NOT HERE TO TALK
ABOUT YOU GETTING BLOW JOBS.Copy !req
401. - WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CAN GET BLOW JOBS?Copy !req
402. - DENZEL, AS A BLACK MAN,Copy !req
403. YOU'RE FAMILIAR
WITH ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.Copy !req
404. WOULD YOU SAY THAT—Copy !req
405. YOUR HONOR,
I CAN'T CONTINUE WITH THIS.Copy !req
406. - MR. JACKSON,
WHAT IS GOING ON?Copy !req
407. - OH, YOU KNOW, FUN.Copy !req
408. - SIR, DO I HAVE
TO HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT?Copy !req
409. - IT'S ALL RIGHT.
HIS FRIEND'S A CRIPPLE.Copy !req
410. - I'M SORRY, SIR.
PROCEED.Copy !req
411. - ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHERE
I MAKE WOODY CRACK.Copy !req
412. SO, MR. JOHNSON,
ISN'T IT TRUECopy !req
413. THAT YOU BROUGHT THE CARNIVAL
TO BRICKLEBERRYCopy !req
414. TO PURPOSEFULLY PARALYZE
MY CLIENT?Copy !req
415. - NO!Copy !req
416. - SO YOU'RE TELLING USCopy !req
417. YOU DID NOT BRING THE CARNIVAL
TO BRICKLEBERRY?Copy !req
418. - YES.
- SO NOW YOU ARE LYINGCopy !req
419. TO THE COURT.Copy !req
420. - UH, NO—
UH, YES—WHAT?Copy !req
421. NO, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.Copy !req
422. I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY.Copy !req
423. - SO YOU'RE TELLING
THIS COURTCopy !req
424. THAT YOU'RE A PERFECTLY
"DECENT MAN."Copy !req
425. AND REMEMBER,
YOU'RE UNDER OATH.Copy !req
426. I MEAN, LOOK, I'VE DONE
BAD THINGS IN MY LIFE, OKAY?Copy !req
427. I—OH, DEAR GOD,
WHO AM I KIDDING?Copy !req
428. I'M A PIECE OF SHIT!Copy !req
429. WHEN I WAS SIX,
I FRENCH-KISSED A BURROCopy !req
430. DURING A MEXICAN
INDEPENDENCE DAY PARADE.Copy !req
431. I ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED
MAMMA MIA!Copy !req
432. AND IN 1989,
I SHOWED MY TESTESCopy !req
433. TO A DRUNK DRIVER
AT AN IHOP!Copy !req
434. HE OFFERED MECopy !req
435. HALF A ROOTY TOOTY
FRESH 'N FRUITY!Copy !req
436. I'M ONLY HUMAN!Copy !req
437. - MR. MALLOY, WHAT IS THE POINT
OF THIS TESTIMONY?Copy !req
438. - HE HAD THE NERVE TO SUGGEST
THAT I GET A JOB,Copy !req
439. AND IT IS FUN
TO TEASE THE FAT.Copy !req
440. - POINT TAKEN.Copy !req
441. IS THE AGGRIEVED PARTY
READY TO TESTIFY?Copy !req
442. - WE'VE WON THIS, STEVE.Copy !req
443. JUST SIT STILL
FOR FIVE MORE MINUTES.Copy !req
444. - NO PROBLEM, I GOT THIS.Copy !req
445. - YOU'RE THE REVERSE
STEPHEN HAWKING—Copy !req
446. BODY WORKS,
SHIT FOR BRAINS.Copy !req
447. - ALL YE BEARDED LADIESCopy !req
448. AND GENITAL-NOSED
FREAK ASSHOLES OF THE JURY,Copy !req
449. HOW ABOUT A HUZZAH
FOR STEVE?Copy !req
450. THREE CHEERS
FOR THE PARALYZED DICKHEADCopy !req
451. WHO'S GOING TO TAKE
ALL OF MY MONEY!Copy !req
452. I GUESS YOU WON, STEVE,
AND YOU RUINED THE PARK FOREVER.Copy !req
453. CONING-
GRATULATIONS.Copy !req
454. YOU WANT MY MONEY, STEVE?
HERE, TAKE IT!Copy !req
455. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY,
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!Copy !req
456. YOU WANT THIS ONE, STEVE?
HUH?Copy !req
457. YOU LIKE IT?
YOU LIKE MR. FRANKLIN?Copy !req
458. YOU WANT HIM? HERE.Copy !req
459. DIG IT OUT OF MY SHIT!Copy !req
460. - YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER.Copy !req
461. THE FACE IS—MM,Copy !req
462. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DRAW
A TOUCH OF DOWN'S,Copy !req
463. BUT THAT'S
WHAT I'M THINKING.Copy !req
464. - OH, I HOPE
YOU'RE HAPPY, STEVE,Copy !req
465. 'CAUSE I'M A BROKEN MAN.Copy !req
466. OH, GOD!
OOH! OOH!Copy !req
467. SO ITCHY!
OH, OH!Copy !req
468. OH, OOH, AHH.Copy !req
469. AHH, AHH.
AHH...Copy !req
470. - YOUR HONOR,
I'D LIKE TO DROP ALL CHARGESCopy !req
471. AGAINST WOODY JOHNSONCopy !req
472. AND CONFIDE WITH MY NEW CLIENT,
WOODY JOHNSON.Copy !req
473. WE WILL BE COUNTERSUING
MR. STEVE WILLIAMS FOR FRAUD.Copy !req
474. - AHH...
WHAT?Copy !req
475. - THANKS FOR WINNING
MY MONEY BACKCopy !req
476. IN THAT COUNTERSUIT,
MR. COUNSELOR.Copy !req
477. HERE, GO BUY
WHATEVER YOU'D LIKE.Copy !req
478. WELL, THIS ALMOST COVERS
5% OF MY ATTORNEY FEES.Copy !req
479. - HUH, THE PARALYZER.
I THOUGHT THEY SHUT THAT RIDE—Copy !req
480. - OW!Copy !req
481. OH! STEVE!Copy !req
482. SHIT, YOU DUMB
SON OF A BITCH!Copy !req
483. I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!Copy !req
484. I CAN'T MOVE!Copy !req
485. - POKE THE CRIPPLE
IN THE EYEBALL!Copy !req
486. - ONE, PLEASE.Copy !req