1. - I CAN'T BELIEVE TOMORROW'S
THE BIG DAY.Copy !req
2. OUR COUNTRY IS FINALLY
PUTTING A MAN ON MARS.Copy !req
3. WHAT DO YOU THINK
IS UP THERE, DENZEL?Copy !req
4. - HOT MARTIAN BITCHES
WITH FOUR SETS OF GREEN TITTIES.Copy !req
5. - THAT'S REALLY PROFOUND,
DENZEL.Copy !req
6. - I KNOW.Copy !req
7. TITTYTHAT BITCHCopy !req
8. IS LIKE A FULL-TIME JOB.Copy !req
9. - WHAT ABOUT THE REST
OF SPACE?Copy !req
10. - MM, STARS AND SHIT.Copy !req
11. - HOW MANY DO YOU THINK
THERE ARE?Copy !req
12. - MORE THAN YOU
CAN COUNT, STEVE.Copy !req
13. - WOW. 92.Copy !req
14. - YOU ARE
A STUPID MOTHER.Copy !req
15. - YEAH.Copy !req
16. JUST ONE MORE QUESTION—Copy !req
17. HOW DO WE GET THE CAR
OUT OF THE PLANETARIUM?Copy !req
18. SAME WAY WE GOT
THIS MOTHERIN.Copy !req
19. - RANGERS, LISTEN UP.Copy !req
20. TODAY IS A HISTORIC DAY.Copy !req
21. - THE WORLD WATCHESCopy !req
22. AS MAN PREPARES TO LAND
ON MARS.Copy !req
23. - WHO CARES?Copy !req
24. - IT'S THE GRAND OPENING
OF THE HAZELHURST MEGA MALL!Copy !req
25. 500 STORES,
200 DIFFERENT ONES!Copy !req
26. A GIGANTIC ARCADE!Copy !req
27. THE WORLD'S LARGEST
FOOD COURT,Copy !req
28. CONVENIENTLY LOCATED RIGHT NEXT
TO THE LANE BRYANT SUPERSTORE!Copy !req
29. - OH, MY GOD,
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING I WANTCopy !req
30. AND NEW FAT PEOPLE
TO MAKE FUN OF.Copy !req
31. I'LL BE IN THE CAR.Copy !req
32. - OH, CUBBSIE WUBBS,Copy !req
33. EVERYONE KNOWS BEARS
AREN'T ALLOWED IN MALLS.Copy !req
34. IT'S LIKE HOW FILIPINOS
AREN'T ALLOWED IN LIBRARIES.Copy !req
35. - WHAT?
- WE ALL KNOW THEY EAT PAPER!Copy !req
36. - THIS NEW STEPHEN KING NOVEL
IS TERRIBLE!Copy !req
37. - AS I WAS SAYING,
I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCECopy !req
38. BRICKLEBERRY WILL BE PLAYING
AN IMPORTANT ROLECopy !req
39. IN THE UPCOMING
MARS LANDING.Copy !req
40. - I WISH I WAS GOING
UP THERE.Copy !req
41. I'D GET SOME GREEN PUSSY.
YOU KNOW THAT.Copy !req
42. - YOU SEE, MOUNT BRICKLEBERRY
IS THE HIGHEST POINTCopy !req
43. IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
44. - THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.Copy !req
45. - IF IT'S ON THE BROCHURE,
IT'S TRUE!Copy !req
46. ANYWAY, NASA IS GONNA BE
USING OUR PARKCopy !req
47. AS A KEY TRANSMISSION POINT
FOR MISSION CONTROL.Copy !req
48. AND THAT MEANS THEM INDIANSCopy !req
49. AT THE BASE
OF MOUNT BRICKLEBERRYCopy !req
50. HAVE GOTTA GO.Copy !req
51. - BUT THE BROCHURE SAYS
THE BASE OF THE MOUNTAINCopy !req
52. IS THEIR ANCESTRAL LAND.Copy !req
53. - YEAH, THE BROCHURE
ALSO SAYSCopy !req
54. WE HAVE THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
55. WHAT ARE YOU,
STUPID?Copy !req
56. - YOU WATCH
YOUR MOUTH!Copy !req
57. I'LL RIP YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF,
MOTHER!Copy !req
58. UH, SORRY, MR. JOHNSON.Copy !req
59. YEAH, I'M STUPID.Copy !req
60. - HEY, STEVE,
GO TELL THEM SAVAGESCopy !req
61. THEY GOTTA MOVE 'EM HEAP QUICK.Copy !req
62. - YOU GOT IT, SIR.Copy !req
63. - WOODY, FOREST RESETTLEMENT
OF NATIVE AMERICANSCopy !req
64. IS JUST WRONG.Copy !req
65. - DON'T QUESTION
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, MISSY!Copy !req
66. THEY KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE DOING.Copy !req
67. THEY DID A BANG-UP JOB
PLANNING 9-11,Copy !req
68. CONTROLLING OUR MINDS
WITH FLUORIDE IN THE WATER,Copy !req
69. AND TURNING
ANDERSON COOPER GAY!Copy !req
70. - ANYBODY EVER SAY
YOU'RE A BITCopy !req
71. OF A CONSPIRACY THEORIST?Copy !req
72. - AH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
73. - HOW 'BOUT THAT STUNT
YOU PULLEDCopy !req
74. AT YOUR NEPHEW'S CHRISTENING?Copy !req
75. - I KNOW THERE'S A MICROPHONE
IN HERE SOMEWHERE.Copy !req
76. I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME,
YOU SOVIET BASTARDS.Copy !req
77. THAT'S IT—
I'M GOING IN AFTER IT!Copy !req
78. - WOODY DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.Copy !req
79. I CAN GO TO THE MALL
IF I WANT TO.Copy !req
80. - HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
BUDDY.Copy !req
81. - WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?Copy !req
82. - I'M TODD ROLLIN,
HEAD OF MALL SECURITY.Copy !req
83. - WOW!Copy !req
84. HEAD OF MALL SECURITY?Copy !req
85. MINIMUM WAGE AND YOU GET TO RIDE
ONE OF THOSE COOL SEGWAYS?Copy !req
86. - YOU DON'T SOUND IMPRESSED.Copy !req
87. - I'M IMPRESSED BY THE WAY
YOU MANAGECopy !req
88. TO SWEAT
ON SOMETHING WITH WHEELS.Copy !req
89. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING INTO THE MALL.Copy !req
90. - OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.Copy !req
91. EVERYONE KNOWS BEARS
AREN'T ALLOWED IN MALLS.Copy !req
92. IT'S LIKE HOW MALAYSIANS AREN'T
ALLOWED IN SHOE STORES.Copy !req
93. - WHAT?Copy !req
94. - WE ALL KNOW
THEY EAT SHOELACES.Copy !req
95. - THERE IS SOME REALLY OBSCURE
RACISM IN THIS TOWN.Copy !req
96. - I AM SO SORRY
TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS,Copy !req
97. BUT—Copy !req
98. WAIT, TRIBAL CHAIRMAN?Copy !req
99. YOU'RE THE INDIAN CHIEF,
RIGHT?Copy !req
100. - THAT'S A STEREOTYPICAL THING
TO ASSUME.Copy !req
101. - HOW?
- HOW.Copy !req
102. ARE YOU HERE TO PUSH US
OFF OUR LAND?Copy !req
103. NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
104. I'M NOT.Copy !req
105. I'M HERE TO BUY
YOUR LAND.Copy !req
106. $24 IN BEADS SOUND GOOD?Copy !req
107. - WE'LL TAKE IT!Copy !req
108. - NOT SO FAST, NOT-SO-FAST.Copy !req
109. WE SAID WE WOULD NOT MAKE
THIS MISTAKE AGAIN.Copy !req
110. YOU THROW IN CLOSING COSTS.Copy !req
111. - ALL RIGHT.
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.Copy !req
112. $26 IN BEADS.Copy !req
113. - NICE DOING BUSINESS
WITH YOU.Copy !req
114. - YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA ENJOY THOSE.Copy !req
115. I TRIED THEM OUT MYSELF.Copy !req
116. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
117. - THEY'RE ANAL BEADS.
- PFFT!Copy !req
118. - SALUTATIONS.Copy !req
119. I AM MISSION CONTROL
DIRECTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE,Copy !req
120. DR. KURT THOREAU, PhD.Copy !req
121. - HI THERE.Copy !req
122. HEAD RANGER EXCELENTE
WOODY JOHNSON,Copy !req
123. B-I-G-D-I-C-K.Copy !req
124. - AND WHO IS THIS
FETCHING CREATURE?Copy !req
125. - DID YOU SAY "FETCHING"
OR "FELCHING"?Copy !req
126. - UH, I'M ETHEL.Copy !req
127. - DO MEN
WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARDSCopy !req
128. MAKE YOUR FISH FLAPS
FOAMY?Copy !req
129. - WHAT?
OOF!Copy !req
130. - SHOW ME TO MY OFFICE
AT ONCE.Copy !req
131. - WELL, THE ONLY OFFICE
IN THERE IS MINE.Copy !req
132. AGH!
LISTEN HERE, NAS-HOLE—Copy !req
133. I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE—Copy !req
134. OOF!
RIGHT THIS WAY.Copy !req
135. - STEVE, THANK YOU
FOR JOINING USCopy !req
136. FOR OUR FAREWELL POWWOW.Copy !req
137. - NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
138. I HOPE YOU LIKE THE BEADS.Copy !req
139. OH, YES, WIFE BURY THEM
WHERE SUN DON'T SHINE.Copy !req
140. IN HER ASS.Copy !req
141. - THIS WAS A LOT OF FUN.Copy !req
142. THANKS FOR HANGING OUT
WITH ME ALL NIGHT.Copy !req
143. - BROS BEFORE NAVAJOS.Copy !req
144. OUR MEDICINE MAN OFFERS YOU
A BOWL OF HIKURI,Copy !req
145. THE FOOD OF THE GODS.Copy !req
146. SOME SAY IT LETS YOU SEE
THE HEAVENS.Copy !req
147. NOW JUST TAKE A SMALL SIP.Copy !req
148. - IT'S VERY POWERFUL.Copy !req
149. - AHH. WHAT?Copy !req
150. - YOU JUST HAD 2,000 HITS
OF PURE PEYOTE.Copy !req
151. - IT'S NOT AFFECTING ME,
NINJA T-REX.Copy !req
152. - HOO-AHH!Copy !req
153. AAAAAAHHHHH!Copy !req
154. - I HATE WHITE PEOPLE.Copy !req
155. - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF—Copy !req
156. PUSHING THE NATIVE AMERICANS
OFF THEIR LANDCopy !req
157. JUST FOR A LITTLE PUBLICITY.Copy !req
158. - OH, CALM DOWN.Copy !req
159. THE LAW OF REPARATIONS
SAYS THEY CAN CLAIM ANY LANDCopy !req
160. IN THEIR FORMER TERRITORY
AS THEIR OWN.Copy !req
161. THOSE REDSKINS CAN BASICALLY
LIVE ANYWHERE THEY WANT.Copy !req
162. - ANYWHERE THEY WANT?Copy !req
163. - WHO ARE YOU?Copy !req
164. - I'M MALLOY, TALKING BEAR.Copy !req
165. - I KNEW HIS FATHER,
SHITS-IN-WOODS.Copy !req
166. - LISTEN, MY PEOPLE.Copy !req
167. IT IS TIME TO STOP
BEING PUSHED AROUNDCopy !req
168. BY THE WHITE MANCopy !req
169. AND TAKE THE SACRED LAND
THAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS.Copy !req
170. - WHAT SACRED LAND?Copy !req
171. - WE BRING TALKING BEAR
MORE WAMPUM.Copy !req
172. ORANGE JULIUS
AND BOUNTY OF CINNABON.Copy !req
173. - DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
174. I'LL USE EVERY PART
OF THE CINNABON.Copy !req
175. I HOPE YOU PAID THE WHITE MAN
WITH MUCH SUFFERING.Copy !req
176. - NO, WE PAID
WITH DISCOVER CARD.Copy !req
177. - WHAT?
WHAT KIND OF INDIANS ARE YOU?Copy !req
178. - NOT THE GOOD KIND.Copy !req
179. OKAY, I'M LEAVING NOW.Copy !req
180. - THIS IS OUR LAND.Copy !req
181. IF WE WANT SOMETHING
FROM THE WHITE MAN,Copy !req
182. WE TAKE IT.Copy !req
183. - AFTER WE ASK NICELY?Copy !req
184. - NO! THE WHITE MAN
IS OUR ENEMY!Copy !req
185. HE STOLE OUR LAND,Copy !req
186. HE MURDERED OUR PEOPLE,Copy !req
187. AND HE TOLD US WE CAN'T COME
INTO THEIR MALLS,Copy !req
188. JUST BECAUSE WE'RE BEARS!Copy !req
189. - I DON'T REMEMBER
THAT LAST PART.Copy !req
190. - JUST GO WITH IT.
HE'S ON A ROLL.Copy !req
191. - IT'S TIME SOMEONE
TAUGHT YOU GUYSCopy !req
192. HOW TO ACT
LIKE REAL INDIANS.Copy !req
193. - AAH!
- AAH!Copy !req
194. - GET READY
FOR MAGIC TIME, PEOPLE.Copy !req
195. I'LL ACTUALLY BE GUIDING
THE ASTRONAUTSCopy !req
196. DOWN AS WE SPEAK.Copy !req
197. - MISSION CONTROL,
THIS IS APOLLO.Copy !req
198. WE ARE GO FOR LANDING
IN FOUR...Copy !req
199. THREE...Copy !req
200. TWO...Copy !req
201. ONE.Copy !req
202. - EXTEND PODS.
AND...Copy !req
203. MAGIC!Copy !req
204. - AND WE HAVE TOUCHDOWN.Copy !req
205. - WE HAVE LANDED ON MARS.Copy !req
206. KURT THOREAU, EVERYONE.Copy !req
207. - HOW IS STEVE MISSING THIS?Copy !req
208. WHERE THE HELL IS HE?Copy !req
209. GET AWAY FROM ME,Copy !req
210. OCTOPUS MIME!Copy !req
211. AGH!Copy !req
212. AAH!Copy !req
213. - I THINK YOU'LL LIKE
THE FIRST WORDSCopy !req
214. MAN WILL SAY ON MARS.Copy !req
215. I COMPOSED THEM MYSELF.Copy !req
216. - THAT WAS
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MANCopy !req
217. AND ONE GIANT—
SHIT!Copy !req
218. - WE CAN EASILY
REATTACH THESECopy !req
219. AS LONG AS WE'RE VERY,
VERY CAREFUL WITH THEM—Copy !req
220. WHOA!Copy !req
221. SO THAT'S WHYCopy !req
222. WE SHOULDN'T PUT THOSE
IN HERE.Copy !req
223. - WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
224. THAT FAT ALIEN
LOOKS LIKE STEVE.Copy !req
225. - THAT FAT ALIEN IS STEVE.Copy !req
226. - HOW'D STEVE GET TO MARS?Copy !req
227. - STEVE ISN'T ON MARS.Copy !req
228. THAT MEANS THE MARS LANDING—Copy !req
229. - IT'S ALL A GODDAMN FAKE!Copy !req
230. I KNEW IT!Copy !req
231. WE'RE ASS-DEEP IN THE BIGGEST
CONSPIRACY EVER!Copy !req
232. - GUARDS, SEIZE THEM!Copy !req
233. - OH, WHAT?Copy !req
234. YOU ACTORS
GONNA HOLD US HOSTAGECopy !req
235. WITH A BUNCH OF
PHONY PROP GUNS?Copy !req
236. WOW, THAT'S REALISTIC.Copy !req
237. FAKE BRAINS TOO.Copy !req
238. - UM, UH, MISSION CONTROL,Copy !req
239. WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO?Copy !req
240. - YOU'RE ACTORS.
IMPROVISE.Copy !req
241. - HOLY MOLY,
IT'S A GENUINE...Copy !req
242. ALIEN.Copy !req
243. UGHHH...Copy !req
244. - OH, I CAN'T BREATHE...Copy !req
245. IN THIS SPACE AIR.Copy !req
246. - I'LL SAVE YOU.Copy !req
247. - UGHHH! UHHHH!Copy !req
248. - WELL, IT'S NOT
WHAT I PLANNED.Copy !req
249. IT'S BETTER.Copy !req
250. I DIDN'T JUST FAKE
A MARS LANDING.Copy !req
251. I FAKED A MARTIAN.Copy !req
252. YOU SEE?Copy !req
253. I'M NOT JUST KURT THOREAU,
ROCKET SCIENTIST.Copy !req
254. I'M ALSO KURT THOREAU,Copy !req
255. MASTER SHOWMAN AND DIRECTOR!Copy !req
256. I'LL BET THE RATINGS WILL TOPCopy !req
257. OUR FAKE LUNAR LANDING
IN '69.Copy !req
258. - SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT NEIL ARMSTRONG—Copy !req
259. - WAS AN ALCOHOLIC
OUT OF WORK BIRTHDAY CLOWNCopy !req
260. BEFORE I DISCOVERED HIM.Copy !req
261. - SO YOU'RE SAYING
ALL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEESCopy !req
262. ARE ACTORS?Copy !req
263. I'M A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE.Copy !req
264. AM I AN ACTOR?
ARE THERE CAMERAS HERE?Copy !req
265. ARE PEOPLE WATCHING ME
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
266. WHO AM I KIDDING?Copy !req
267. 10:30 ON TUESDAY NIGHT.Copy !req
268. NOBODY'S WATCHING THIS SHIT.Copy !req
269. - ONLY NASA KNOWS.Copy !req
270. NO ONE ELSE.Copy !req
271. NOT EVEN THE PRESIDENT.Copy !req
272. AFTER THIS MISSION IS OVER,Copy !req
273. I'M THROWING YOU ALL
IN SPACE PRISON.Copy !req
274. - YAY!
IS THAT LIKE SPACE CAMP?Copy !req
275. - YES, BUT WITH JUST
A TAD MORE RAPE.Copy !req
276. - THE HAZELHURST MEGA MALL
IS CURRENTLY UNDER SIEGECopy !req
277. BY A GROUP OF INDIANS
AND A SMALL BEAR.Copy !req
278. BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT
ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
279. WE'VE GOT MARTIAN UPDATES.Copy !req
280. IN A SHOCKING MOVE,
FOR PURPOSES OF RESEARCH,Copy !req
281. DR. KURT THOREAU
HAS ORDERED THE ASTRONAUTSCopy !req
282. TO BRING THE MARTIAN
BACK TO OUR PLANET.Copy !req
283. - ROGER, MISSION CONTROL.Copy !req
284. WE HAVE SUBDUED THE MARTIAN
WITH, UH,Copy !req
285. ALIEN-HOLDING SPACE ROPE.Copy !req
286. - VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!Copy !req
287. VROOM!Copy !req
288. - I HOPE THEY MAKE IT BACK OKAY.Copy !req
289. - HEY, GUARD, CAN YOU SHOOT
THIS FAT, DUMB BITCH?Copy !req
290. - THE CAPSULE WILL BE TOUCHING
DOWN ANY MINUTE NOW.Copy !req
291. BUT BE WARNED—
WHEN IT ENTERS THE ATMOSPHERE,Copy !req
292. IT WILL MAKE A BRILLIANT FLASH!Copy !req
293. EVERYONE, CLOSE YOUR EYES OR IT
WILL INSTANTLY BLIND YOU.Copy !req
294. KER-SPLASH!Copy !req
295. IT'S HERE.Copy !req
296. YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES.Copy !req
297. SMILES, EVERYONE.Copy !req
298. WE'RE ABOUT TO GREET
A FRIEND FROM ANOTHER WORLD.Copy !req
299. - WH—WHERE AM I?Copy !req
300. WHY AM I COVERED IN MUD
AND NAKED?Copy !req
301. THIS HASN'T HAPPENED
SINCE SPACE CAMP.Copy !req
302. - UH, WE MUST
GET HIM INTO ISOLATIONCopy !req
303. BEFORE OUR EARTH ATMOSPHERE
OF.7Copy !req
304. GIVES HIM ACUTE FAILURE OF—Copy !req
305. HE'S GOING TO EAT OUR DICKS!Copy !req
306. - MARSHMALLOW PEEPS
AND CADBURY EGGCopy !req
307. NOW PROPERTY
OF CHIEF TALKING BEAR.Copy !req
308. - HEY, THOSE ARE FOR THE KIDS.Copy !req
309. - YOU WERE RIGHT.Copy !req
310. TAKING LAND
AND KILLING WHITE MAN IS FUN.Copy !req
311. - YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS
HAVE COME A LONG WAY.Copy !req
312. - WE SHOULD HAVE EMBRACED OUR
STEREOTYPE MANY YEARS AGO.Copy !req
313. - UH-UH-UH-UH.
- UH, MANY MOONS AGO.Copy !req
314. - LISTEN, YOU.
THIS IS A MALL.Copy !req
315. YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE.Copy !req
316. I'M GIVING YOU ONE HOUR
TO VACATECopy !req
317. AND GET RID
OF ALL THE HORSESHIT.Copy !req
318. - I CAN'T CONTROL WHAT
PANDA EXPRESS PUTS ON ITS MENU.Copy !req
319. - GET OUT NOW!Copy !req
320. - YOU HAVE DISHONORED MY PEOPLE
LONG ENOUGH, TODD.Copy !req
321. WE WILL FIGHT FOR OUR LAND!Copy !req
322. - CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MECopy !req
323. WHERE THE PEPPERIDGE FARM
KIOSK IS?Copy !req
324. I SMELL PENNIES ALL OF A SUDDEN.Copy !req
325. - SO THIS IS MY
SECRET GOVERNMENT BASE.Copy !req
326. ANY DRIPS FROM THE TAP?Copy !req
327. - JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU PLAN
TO DO WITH STEVE.Copy !req
328. - OH. WE WON'T HURT HIM.Copy !req
329. - WHY ARE YOU DOING
EXPERIMENTS ON HIM?Copy !req
330. HEY, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE ALL ACTORS.Copy !req
331. - OH, HE'S NOT AN ACTOR.Copy !req
332. HE'S ONE OF AMERICA'S
TOP SCIENTISTS.Copy !req
333. FOOLED BY MY MAGIC LIKE EVERYONE
ELSE IN THE COUNTRY!Copy !req
334. - WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA LET STEVE GO?Copy !req
335. - I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.Copy !req
336. IF ANYONE FINDS OUT
HE'S NOT A REAL ALIENCopy !req
337. MY CAREER WILL BE OVER.Copy !req
338. I'LL BE CONVICTED OF FRAUD.Copy !req
339. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
340. - I MEAN YOUR FRIEND WILL
NOT LEAVE THIS BASE ALIVE.Copy !req
341. EVER!Copy !req
342. - NOW, IT'S TIME FOR THE
BOWLING PIN IN THE ANUS TEST.Copy !req
343. - WE'VE GOT THEM ON THE RUN.Copy !req
344. - THERE THEY ARE
AT THE LAST CUSTARD STAND!Copy !req
345. YAY!Copy !req
346. AGH!Copy !req
347. - I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE DOINGCopy !req
348. THOSE PAINFUL EXPERIMENTS
ON STEVE.Copy !req
349. - WELL, AFTER
A CHILDHOOD LIKE HIS,Copy !req
350. IT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY WAY
HE CAN CLIMAX.Copy !req
351. - THAT'S YOU, WOODY.
- YEAH, THAT—THAT IS ME.Copy !req
352. - WE CAN'T LET THEM
DO THIS TO STEVE.Copy !req
353. WE NEED A PLAN TO RESCUE HIM.Copy !req
354. - THOREAU HAS HIS EYES
ON STEVE 24/7.Copy !req
355. WE NEED TO DISTRACT HIM
SO WE CAN BUST STEVE OUT.Copy !req
356. - BUT HOW?
- ETHEL, YOU CAN DO IT.Copy !req
357. - HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
DISTRACT HIM?Copy !req
358. - I'VE GOT AN IDEA.Copy !req
359. - THREE, TWO, AND ONE.Copy !req
360. WE HAVE CONTACT.Copy !req
361. - DO YOU HAVE TO
NARRATE EVERYTHING?Copy !req
362. - AFFIRMATIVE.Copy !req
363. ROTATING THRUSTER 30 DEGREES.Copy !req
364. OPEN THE POD BAY DOORS.Copy !req
365. DOCKING IN 59... 58..57... 56.Copy !req
366. UGH, I HOPE WHAT I JUST DID
WAS WORTH—Copy !req
367. - YAHTZEE!Copy !req
368. - WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?Copy !req
369. DID YOU RESCUE STEVE?Copy !req
370. - WHAT?
THAT WAS TONIGHT?Copy !req
371. OH, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
372. GUESS WE GOT CAUGHT UP
PLAYING—YAHTZEE!Copy !req
373. I'M ON A ROLL!Copy !req
374. - SO I JUST SLEPT WITHCopy !req
375. A DISGUSTING ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG
FOR NOTHING?Copy !req
376. ISN'T ANYONE GONNA
SAY ANYTHING?Copy !req
377. - UH, WELL, NORMALLY THIS IS
WHERE MALLOY WOULD JUMP INCopy !req
378. WITH SOMETHING LIKE,
"YEAH, BUT HOW'S THAT DIFFERENTCopy !req
379. FROM YOUR TYPICAL TUESDAY?"Copy !req
380. - NO, I THINK IT'D BE MORE LIKE,
"YOU DID IT FOR NOTHING?Copy !req
381. USUALLY YOU GET TACO BELL
OUT OF IT."Copy !req
382. - OR SOMETHING LIKE,
"DISGUSTING ASSHOLE?Copy !req
383. YOU MEAN YOU FINALLY
SLEPT WITH CONNIE?"Copy !req
384. - OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.Copy !req
385. SLUT.Copy !req
386. - OH, YEAH, YUK IT UP.Copy !req
387. I JUST BANGED A GUY
WHO CALLS HIS PENISCopy !req
388. "THE USS ENTER-THIGHS."Copy !req
389. - MAN, WHAT A LOSER.Copy !req
390. NAMING HIS JUNK AFTER STAR TREK.Copy !req
391. AIN'T THAT RIGHT, HUNG SOLO?Copy !req
392. - SORRY, ETHEL.
WE CAN'T GET PAST THE GUARDS.Copy !req
393. - STEVE IS IN REAL DANGER HERE.Copy !req
394. KURT CAN'T HIDE HIM FOREVER.Copy !req
395. AND IF HE LETS HIM GO,
NASA WILL BE EXPOSED.Copy !req
396. - SO DO YOU THINK
HE'S GONNA KILL STEVE?Copy !req
397. - I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF HE DOES,Copy !req
398. I BET IT'LL
BE A RATINGS BONANZA.Copy !req
399. - I AM SORRY TO REPORTCopy !req
400. THAT THE MARTIAN
HAS CONTRACTED AN EARTH VIRUS.Copy !req
401. AND HE APPEARS TO BE... DYING!Copy !req
402. - DR. THOREAU, CAN YOU TELL US
WHAT DISEASE IT IS?Copy !req
403. - HE'S GOT WHATEVER MADE E.T.Copy !req
404. ALL WHITE AND DRIED OUT
AND GROSS.Copy !req
405. - HOW MUCH TIME
DOES THE ALIEN HAVE LEFT?Copy !req
406. - IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT,Copy !req
407. BUT HE'LL DEFINITELY BE DEAD
BEFORE PRIMETIME TONIGHT.Copy !req
408. - TONIGHT AT 9:00, LIVE ON PBS!Copy !req
409. WITNESS HISTORY AS WE SHOW YOU
A REAL LIVE ALIEN AUTOPSY!Copy !req
410. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
411. - YES, WE'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE
WHAT'S INSIDE A MEXICAN!Copy !req
412. - OKAY, SO POOF,
WE GET IN, GRAB STEVE,Copy !req
413. AND THEN POOF, WE OUT.Copy !req
414. - WELL, DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PLANCopy !req
415. THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE
NIGHTCRAWLER FROM THE X-MEN?Copy !req
416. OR ANY OF THE OTHER X-MEN?Copy !req
417. - WE NEED TO GET SERIOUS.Copy !req
418. HIS AUTOPSY'S ONLY
A COUPLE OF HOURS AWAY.Copy !req
419. - YEAH, AND WITH, LIKE,
AN HOUR FOR DINNER AND DESSERT,Copy !req
420. THAT WON'T LEAVE US MUCH TIME.Copy !req
421. - WE'D NEED AN ARMY
TO TAKE THOREAU DOWN.Copy !req
422. THAT'S IT!
OKAY, I'VE GOT A PLAN,Copy !req
423. BUT WE NEED TO
GET PAST THE GUARDS.Copy !req
424. - WE NEED TO BRIBE THEM
OR SOMETHINGCopy !req
425. SO THEY'LL LET US GO.Copy !req
426. - WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNACopy !req
427. BRIBE A BUNCH OF
HOLLYWOOD ACTORS WITH?Copy !req
428. - I'VE GOT AN IDEA.Copy !req
429. - WHY THE HELL
DID I AGREE TO THIS?Copy !req
430. - AND THAT'S WHY
WE NEED YOUR HELP.Copy !req
431. - WHY WOULD MY PEOPLE HELP
THE WHITE MAN AND DENZEL?Copy !req
432. - LOOK, WE NEED AN ARMY
TO HELP US RESCUE STEVE.Copy !req
433. IF YOU HELP US,
WE'LL GIVE YOU YOUR LAND BACK.Copy !req
434. - THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA.Copy !req
435. - NO!
THAT PLACE WAS A SHITHOLE!Copy !req
436. HOW COULD WE LEAVE
OUR BEAUTIFUL LAND?Copy !req
437. - OUR LAND
NOT SO BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE.Copy !req
438. - GODDAMN INDIANS!Copy !req
439. - YES!
IT'S STILL HERE!Copy !req
440. - PBS ALIEN AUTOPSY LIVECopy !req
441. IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY LANE BRYANT.Copy !req
442. COVERING UP FAT CHICKS SOCopy !req
443. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT THEM.Copy !req
444. - NOW WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ORGANS
THIS ALIEN WILL HAVE.Copy !req
445. HIS CHEST CAVITY COULD BE FULL
OF FACEHUGGERS OR CANDY.Copy !req
446. WELL, LET'S FIND OUT.Copy !req
447. AH!Copy !req
448. - ATTENTION, EARTH.Copy !req
449. YOU HAVE ABDUCTED
ONE OF OUR MARTIAN PEOPLE.Copy !req
450. WE DEMAND HIS IMMEDIATE—Copy !req
451. - HEY, MA, LOOK AT YOUR BOY!
I'M ON TV!Copy !req
452. HEY, YO, I WANNA GIVE A SHOUT
TO MY COOL FRIENDS GANG,Copy !req
453. MY COUSIN KINISHIA—
I LOVE YOU, BABY.Copy !req
454. DESHAWN.
STAY YOUR DUMB ASS IN SCHOOL.Copy !req
455. MY BOY, BURBEL.Copy !req
456. HEY, WHAT'S UP, BOY?
WHATCHA DOING?Copy !req
457. HEY, CHARLES,
GIMME MY TIRES BACK, MAN!Copy !req
458. - DENZEL!Copy !req
459. - WHAT'S HAPPENING?Copy !req
460. SWITCH IT OFF.
SWITCH IT OFF!Copy !req
461. - I'M TRYING, DR. THOREAU.
I CAN'T.Copy !req
462. IT'S LIKE THEY
TAPPED INTO OUR FEED.Copy !req
463. - IF YOU DO NOT RETURN OUR
BROTHER SAFELY TO OUR PLANETCopy !req
464. YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH
OF OUR MARTIAN ARMY.Copy !req
465. - AND THEN YOU WILL
BE JUPITER FISTED TO DEATHCopy !req
466. BY OUR HIDEOUS SPACE MONSTER.Copy !req
467. - TRYING TO BEAT ME
AT MY OWN GAME, EH?Copy !req
468. I'LL SHOW THEM.Copy !req
469. DOCTOR, OPERATE!Copy !req
470. - BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET
JUPITER FISTED TO DEATH.Copy !req
471. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS,Copy !req
472. BUT MY FIRST THREE GUESSES
ARE HORRIBLE.Copy !req
473. - OH, FINE.
I'LL DO IT.Copy !req
474. - SIR, IT'S THE PRESIDENT.Copy !req
475. - HELLO?
MR. PRESIDENT?Copy !req
476. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'TCopy !req
477. WANNA GET JUPITER FISTED
TO DEATH, SIR, BUT—Copy !req
478. AS YOU WISH, SIR.Copy !req
479. THAT'S A WRAP.Copy !req
480. - ON BEHALF OF EARTH PEOPLE,Copy !req
481. I HEREBY RETURN
YOUR SPACE BROTHER.Copy !req
482. - HEY, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,
THIS INVASION IS OVER.Copy !req
483. - WELCOME BACK, STEVE.
- NO!Copy !req
484. DON'T LEAVE ME
WITH THESE MARTIANS!Copy !req
485. TAKE ME BACK TO EARTH!Copy !req
486. - WHAT THE?Copy !req
487. - IF YOU CAN'T TAKE
THE RESERVATION TO THE MALL,Copy !req
488. TAKE THE MALL
TO THE RESERVATION.Copy !req
489. - HOW.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HOW"?Copy !req
490. WE ALREADY DID IT.Copy !req
491. - OH, YOU'RE GOING AWAY
FOR A LONG TIME.Copy !req
492. YOU'LL BE DOING A TEN-YEAR
PRODUCTION OF BACKSIDE STORY.Copy !req
493. WOODY JOHNSON, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
494. - IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.Copy !req
495. WE ALMOST GOT BETTER RATINGSCopy !req
496. THAN THAT BETTY WHITE
PRANK SHOW.Copy !req
497. - HEY, THAT'S MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
498. IT MAKES ME LAUGH HARD
AND GET HARD.Copy !req
499. - HEY, WATCH THE CAPE.Copy !req
500. - I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING
WE KNOW ABOUT SPACE IS A LIE.Copy !req
501. DO YOU EVER THINK WE'LL FIND OUT
WHAT'S REALLY OUT THERE?Copy !req
502. - I DON'T KNOW, STEVE.Copy !req
503. BUT I KNOW
WHAT I'D LIKE IT TO BE.Copy !req