1. War is hell.Copy !req
2. The object is to destroy and demoralize.Copy !req
3. We will gouge out their
eyes, piss in their skulls,Copy !req
4. and anything left breathing, we rape!Copy !req
5. Damn, white people take
this softball shit serious.Copy !req
6. This is Brickleberry versus Yellowstone.Copy !req
7. I got 2 G's on this game!Copy !req
8. Now, in the spirit of
baseball, let's pray...Copy !req
9. That they all get Lou Gehrig's disease.Copy !req
10. - Amen.
- Shouldn't we wait for Ethel?Copy !req
11. I think she went to
look for her boyfriend.Copy !req
12. Who's the lucky fella this week?Copy !req
13. Slut.Copy !req
14. Sorry, I had something in my
throat before I said, "slut".Copy !req
15. Honey? The game's about to start.
What are you doing in there?Copy !req
16. Be out in a minute! I'm taping up.
Honey? The game's about to start.
What are you doing in there?Copy !req
17. Be out in a minute! I'm taping up.Copy !req
18. Oh, don't be so shy.Copy !req
19. Oh, my God!Copy !req
20. You are cheating on me with two women?Copy !req
21. It's not what it looks like.Copy !req
22. See? Only one woman.Copy !req
23. They're conjoined twins.Copy !req
24. Aw, come on!Copy !req
25. I don't even like the one
that controls the legs!Copy !req
26. So, uh, where were we?Copy !req
27. I was the one who
uncrossed our legs for you.Copy !req
28. Call me.Copy !req
29. Damn it, you bastards! This
is the bottom of the ninth!Copy !req
30. It's our last chance.Copy !req
31. Come on, rally bear. Show some spirit.Copy !req
32. Why can't you dance
like those black bears?Copy !req
33. Go yellow, go Yellowstone!Copy !req
34. I am fighting the urge to
say something horribly racist.Copy !req
35. Oh, that reminds me.Copy !req
36. Denzel! Steal third base!Copy !req
37. Pretend it's a car stereo.Copy !req
38. I'ma kill that cracker one day.Copy !req
39. So, what are you doing after the game?Copy !req
40. I think you have the
wrong impression of me.Copy !req
41. I'm a lesbian, Sir.Copy !req
42. Ouch.Copy !req
43. All right, next up?Copy !req
44. Aw, Christ, it's Steve.Copy !req
45. Come on, easy out!Copy !req
46. Come on, Steve, don't choke!Copy !req
47. Let's hear it for Steve!Copy !req
48. Don't choke, Steve!Copy !req
49. Don't choke, Steve! Don't choke, Steve!Copy !req
50. Listen to that crowd, Steve.Copy !req
51. You're their hero. And you're 0 for 9.Copy !req
52. Statistically, you're almost
guaranteed to get a hit.Copy !req
53. - You're out.
- Out?Copy !req
54. How am I out?Copy !req
55. Because you slid into the
pitcher's mound, moron.Copy !req
56. Yellowstone wins.Copy !req
57. - Boo!
- Steve sucks!Copy !req
58. - Steve sucks!
- Loser!Copy !req
59. Burning!Copy !req
60. Burn! Burning!Copy !req
61. Thank God!Copy !req
62. So we lost the bet. This isn't so bad.Copy !req
63. One lap around the field naked
isn't the end of the world.Copy !req
64. Oh, what is that?Copy !req
65. Damn, I see your balls, but where is...Copy !req
66. It looks like you have
a vagina with balls.Copy !req
67. - You have a ball gina.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
68. I don't know whether to
be grossed out or horny.Copy !req
69. I'm really confused right now.Copy !req
70. The point is we're still a team, right?Copy !req
71. Aw, okay. There it is.Copy !req
72. Damn, man. Looks like your
dick is stuck in quicksand.Copy !req
73. Come on. You guys can't be mad at me.Copy !req
74. Here you go, little fella. Grab
on to this and I'll pull you out.Copy !req
75. I'll get you to safety.Copy !req
76. I'm not mad at you, Steve.Copy !req
77. I just can't believe Carl cheated on me.Copy !req
78. I am so done with him. I do
have self-respect, you know.Copy !req
79. Oh, I know you do, sugar snatch.Copy !req
80. Oh, Carl.Copy !req
81. Now, you losers ready to do your lap?Copy !req
82. All right, good warm-up lap.
Now take 'em out on the pavement.Copy !req
83. Who agreed to that bet?Copy !req
84. Ah, Steve did.Copy !req
85. I didn't think we could lose.Copy !req
86. - We'll get 'em next week!
- Next week?Copy !req
87. I lost 2 grand on that game, Steve!Copy !req
88. I don't know how I'm
gonna pay up, Steve!Copy !req
89. Oh, you'll find a way to pay me.Copy !req
90. They always do.Copy !req
91. Guys, it's not my fault
I can't play baseball.Copy !req
92. No one ever taught me.Copy !req
93. You gotta remember, I
grew up without a father.Copy !req
94. - Aw, Christ.
- Blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
95. - Oh, brother!
- Gay.Copy !req
96. It's true. My father, Jonah Williams,Copy !req
97. was the greatest Park Ranger
Brickleberry had ever seen.Copy !req
98. He was a hero to both
man and beast alike.Copy !req
99. There was nothing he couldn't do...Copy !req
100. And he never failed to amaze us.Copy !req
101. But tragedy struck when he took
me on my first camping trip.Copy !req
102. It all started very innocently.Copy !req
103. "The doctor says Steve needs
anti-psychotic medication".Copy !req
104. "We are Christian scientists!Copy !req
105. I'll snap your neck, woman!"Copy !req
106. "Aah! You're hurting me!"Copy !req
107. "Aw, take that in the back!Copy !req
108. That (Bleep)ing goddamn
mother(Bleep)ing".Copy !req
109. But things took a dark turn,
and someone needed his help.Copy !req
110. My dolly!Copy !req
111. I'm okay, son.Copy !req
112. I'm okay, son!Copy !req
113. I'm still okay, son!Copy !req
114. That one hurt a little!Copy !req
115. The only comfort I get is
that he died peacefully.Copy !req
116. - Wow.
- Aw, please.Copy !req
117. Steve uses not having a dad
as an excuse for everything.Copy !req
118. Damn! Ow! Ouch! Ow! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
119. My father never taught me how to fight.Copy !req
120. Sorry, Denzel.Copy !req
121. My father never taught
me how to post bail.Copy !req
122. My father never taught
me how to ride a bike!Copy !req
123. Look out, look out, look out!Copy !req
124. Aah! Double-paned!Copy !req
125. Tempered! Stained glass!Copy !req
126. Storm window!Copy !req
127. Glass ceiling!Copy !req
128. That one stopped me.Copy !req
129. Enough excuses, Steve.Copy !req
130. Denzel never had a dad,
and he's not a wuss.Copy !req
131. Woody, my father raised me.Copy !req
132. By "father" you mean
"grandmother," right?Copy !req
133. Look, guys, I know I let you down.Copy !req
134. But those days are over.Copy !req
135. The next chance I get, I'm gonna prove
that I'm more of a man than anyone here.Copy !req
136. Including her.Copy !req
137. Uh, hi. Um, I've got
a real problem here.Copy !req
138. My campsite is littered
with half-eaten goats.Copy !req
139. Half-eaten goats?Copy !req
140. Crap. Looks like it's
that rabid cougar again.Copy !req
141. Which one of you is gonna hunt him down?Copy !req
142. You know what?Copy !req
143. I've been looking for an
opportunity to prove my manhoodCopy !req
144. since about 30 seconds ago.Copy !req
145. I'll do it.Copy !req
146. Sorry, I guess you didn't know
that I wasn't finished speaking.Copy !req
147. I'd like my $10 camping fee back.Copy !req
148. No problem, I'll just
run your credit card.Copy !req
149. Done. Should show up on your
statement at the end of the month.Copy !req
150. You suck. You are a pile of shit.Copy !req
151. And I want you to know that
your parents just called,Copy !req
152. and they're getting a divorce.Copy !req
153. They said it's your fault,
because you have leukemiaCopy !req
154. and all your hair's gonna fall out.Copy !req
155. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
156. Son, we have something to tell
you. We're getting divorced.Copy !req
157. And you have leukemia.Copy !req
158. Malloy, I know it's past the deadline,
but I've almost got your $2,000 together.Copy !req
159. I just need $1,900 more.Copy !req
160. You worry too much, Woody.
We'll work something out.Copy !req
161. Okay, so what are you thinking?
Some kind of installment plan?Copy !req
162. Will you relax?Copy !req
163. Here.Copy !req
164. Sniff this for me.Copy !req
165. Don't look at me like
that, it's just business.Copy !req
166. How am I ever gonna find this cougar?Copy !req
167. Follow the dead goats.Copy !req
168. Good idea, voice in my head.Copy !req
169. You sound so much cooler
than when I talk out loud.Copy !req
170. It's me, dumb ass.Copy !req
171. You picked the wrong time
to start acting like a man.Copy !req
172. That cougar's gonna
eat you alive, Steve.Copy !req
173. Thanks for the tough love. Namaste.Copy !req
174. "Namaste".Copy !req
175. Nah, I'ma stay right here
where there ain't no cougars.Copy !req
176. Your suffering is over.Copy !req
177. Mercy is upon you.Copy !req
178. Uh, sorry about that.Copy !req
179. Now, mercy will be upon you.Copy !req
180. Almost done.Copy !req
181. You'll be with Jesus soon.Copy !req
182. Die!Copy !req
183. Save a place for me in heaven, friend.Copy !req
184. That must be where it lives.Copy !req
185. Be a man, Steve.Copy !req
186. Be a man, be a man, be a man,Copy !req
187. be a man, be a man, be a man, be a man.Copy !req
188. I don't want to be a man!Copy !req
189. Dad?Copy !req
190. Oh, my God. Dad!Copy !req
191. It's you!Copy !req
192. I have one question for you, dad.Copy !req
193. Why do I have a ball gina?Copy !req
194. - That's your dad?
- Yeah.Copy !req
195. Dad, meet Denzel.Copy !req
196. No! Eh, eh, eh! Eh, eh, eh, dad!Copy !req
197. Jonah, listen, sorry
I never looked for you.Copy !req
198. I meant to, but your wife was
in dire need of comforting,Copy !req
199. way down deep in her uterus.Copy !req
200. I've held my tongue long enough.Copy !req
201. Your dad smells like shit.Copy !req
202. Don't tell me you're still
pissed about this kidney thing,Copy !req
203. because I've moved on.Copy !req
204. The important thing is my dad is
back and he hasn't changed a bit.Copy !req
205. - Well, that's kind of new.
- Yo, that's messed up.Copy !req
206. I'll tell you what's messed up...Copy !req
207. Your judgmental attitude.Copy !req
208. Father just needs a little
help readjusting to society.Copy !req
209. Dad's new comedy bit. He's almost done.Copy !req
210. Okay, that's enough.Copy !req
211. Okay, pops, we get it.Copy !req
212. Please don't finish.Copy !req
213. Why do I always fall for the wrong guy?Copy !req
214. I just want a nice guy, someone
who will treat me with respect.Copy !req
215. I bet that person's
closer than you think.Copy !req
216. Oh, Connie, I'm so lucky to
have a platonic friend like you.Copy !req
217. Stop being so chicken shit, Connie.Copy !req
218. Tell her how you feel.Copy !req
219. Tell her you want to start a fire
by rubbing your 'ginas together.Copy !req
220. Don't talk about her like that.Copy !req
221. Talk about who like that?Copy !req
222. Ellen's on.Copy !req
223. Now, father, since you've
returned to the civilized world,Copy !req
224. it's crucial that you
learn the differenceCopy !req
225. between a salad fork and a dessert fork.Copy !req
226. No, no, no. Salad fork.Copy !req
227. Hmm?Copy !req
228. What is going on here?Copy !req
229. Armando, these are people
trying to have a nice meal.Copy !req
230. Why you bother them?Copy !req
231. Allow me to apologize
on Armando's behalf.Copy !req
232. He is new, but he is very good boy.Copy !req
233. Armando, uh, why don't you go and get
these nice people some free bread sticks?Copy !req
234. You come back anytime.Copy !req
235. Anybody you wanna stab him in
the neck, you go right ahead.Copy !req
236. Yippee!Copy !req
237. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
238. All aboard the Williams
and Son rail road!Copy !req
239. Now departing for happily ever after!Copy !req
240. You know what would
make this even better?Copy !req
241. Snow cones.Copy !req
242. Hey, Steve, I'm doing
my match dot com profile,Copy !req
243. and I need a polite way
to say "no Armenians".Copy !req
244. Now, do you think they'll take a
hint if I say I don't like uni-brows,Copy !req
245. or should I also throw
in "no white BMW's"?Copy !req
246. Oh, hello. You must be Steve's father.Copy !req
247. Excuse me. I just said hello.Copy !req
248. Is that any way to treat a woman?Copy !req
249. You're rude, you're
disrespectful, you're...Copy !req
250. Just my type.Copy !req
251. - Do you want tutti-frutti
or goo-goo gra...Copy !req
252. Are you just gonna sit
there and do nothingCopy !req
253. while that creep bangs your true love?Copy !req
254. Ethel's a grown woman. She
can date whoever she wants.Copy !req
255. You're pathetic.Copy !req
256. You don't even deserve
an evil alter ego.Copy !req
257. I'm not listening to you.Copy !req
258. Why are we yelling at deer piss?Copy !req
259. It's not fair.Copy !req
260. My father and I were just starting
to rebuild our relationship.Copy !req
261. I shouldn't have to share him with her.Copy !req
262. Darling, I'll handle this.Copy !req
263. Steve, you're going to have to accept
that what your father and I have is real.Copy !req
264. Real kinky.Copy !req
265. Anything you can
imagine, we've tried it.Copy !req
266. Think about that for a minute.Copy !req
267. See? She's driving me crazy.Copy !req
268. And how does that make you feel?Copy !req
269. Crazy. Wow, you're good.Copy !req
270. Doctor, I understand Steve's pain,Copy !req
271. but Jonah's unlike any
man I've dated before.Copy !req
272. Sure, he doesn't say much, but so what?Copy !req
273. My banter is charming
enough for two people.Copy !req
274. That's a good one, Ethel.
Oh, it certainly is.Copy !req
275. No, now is not the
right time, sweetheart.Copy !req
276. Fine, I'll tell him.Copy !req
277. Steve, your father and
I, we're getting married.Copy !req
278. What?Copy !req
279. I'm sorry you had to learn this way.Copy !req
280. I was hoping you'd find out on Facebook.Copy !req
281. I can't handle this.Copy !req
282. You need to choose, dad.Copy !req
283. It's her or me.Copy !req
284. I see you've made your choice.Copy !req
285. Good news, I'm getting 2 grand for your
kidney on the Jamaican black market.Copy !req
286. As far as I'm concerned, we're square.Copy !req
287. Come on, snuggly-wubs,
don't sell my kidney.Copy !req
288. Just give me a chance to win
it back, double or nothing.Copy !req
289. - I don't know.
- Please, give me a chance!Copy !req
290. - I'll bet on anything you want!
- I bet you will.Copy !req
291. - Okay, let's bet.
- We just did.Copy !req
292. - Did I win?
- Ooh, you lost.Copy !req
293. Goddamn it!Copy !req
294. Oh, man, he's on a roll.Copy !req
295. That was such a fun night.Copy !req
296. Sounds like we both have a problem.Copy !req
297. Who are you?Copy !req
298. Oh, Connie.Copy !req
299. Here's the thing, Steve.Copy !req
300. Neither of us want
this wedding to happen.Copy !req
301. Perhaps we should join forces.Copy !req
302. Yeah, join forces.Copy !req
303. Do as I say...Copy !req
304. And we'll both be very happy.Copy !req
305. Yeah, yeah. You're... you're...
you're not gonna hurt my dad, are you?Copy !req
306. Of course not. He'll be fine...Copy !req
307. In hell.Copy !req
308. How did you do that?Copy !req
309. Sorry. I farted on your candle.Copy !req
310. Are you with the bride or the groom?Copy !req
311. She's with the bride,
she's with the groom.Copy !req
312. Anybody got a chain saw?Copy !req
313. Sorry I dragged you to this.Copy !req
314. Actually, I dragged you to this.Copy !req
315. Well, I'm happy for you, dad.Copy !req
316. No ulterior motives here.Copy !req
317. Ha! Good one.Copy !req
318. Would you excuse me, father?
I need to sabotage the wedding.Copy !req
319. Not this wedding, a different one.Copy !req
320. The Finklesteins, Bob and
Jill. You don't know them.Copy !req
321. Nobody knows them. They're made up.Copy !req
322. Damn it!Copy !req
323. So, here it is, my life
savings, just like you wanted.Copy !req
324. $400.Copy !req
325. So, what are we spending it on?Copy !req
326. No, don't tell me. I
want to be surprised.Copy !req
327. Woo!Copy !req
328. - Woo!
- Ooh!Copy !req
329. Uh, I got it.Copy !req
330. We're gonna hit Ethel with this crate.Copy !req
331. Oh, Malloy, you make the
cutest ring-"bear"- er.Copy !req
332. Oh, you are funny.Copy !req
333. Is that why you're wearing white
on your wedding day, you whore?Copy !req
334. I cannot believe you
brought that thing here.Copy !req
335. Talk about passive-aggressive.Copy !req
336. Come on, let me get even.Copy !req
337. One more shot, double or nothing.Copy !req
338. You need help, Woody.
You've got a disease.Copy !req
339. I know that because when I
tried to sell your kidney,Copy !req
340. they said, "that man has a disease".Copy !req
341. Well, I need to get
this wedding started.Copy !req
342. I've only got five minutes
of clean blood left.Copy !req
343. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to legitimize the fornicationCopy !req
344. between this beautiful
woman and this man, who...Copy !req
345. Oh, God, he's eating a rat.Copy !req
346. Huh? My God.Copy !req
347. Connie's totally lost it.Copy !req
348. She's planning on murder.Copy !req
349. I need to do something.Copy !req
350. Dad, why don't you and
Ethel switch places?Copy !req
351. Crisis averted.Copy !req
352. Damn, she's good.Copy !req
353. Would you, uh, excuse me, everyone?Copy !req
354. I, uh, have to make a number two.Copy !req
355. Come on.Copy !req
356. And now, to save my dad!Copy !req
357. Marriage is the sacred
union of man and woman,Copy !req
358. not man and man, and certainly
not between the races,Copy !req
359. except for Spaniards and Asians.Copy !req
360. They make Filipinos, who are great
looking and desperate for cash.Copy !req
361. What are you waiting
for? Pull the trigger.Copy !req
362. I don't know if I can do this.Copy !req
363. You're a weak, bloated land whale.Copy !req
364. Why did I even lug that
stupid boudoir up here?Copy !req
365. Freeze, you weak, bloated land whale.Copy !req
366. Why is everyone picking on me?Copy !req
367. Gimme! Gimme!Copy !req
368. - No!Copy !req
369. I'm such a dick.Copy !req
370. - Whoa!
- Gimme that! Gimme that!Copy !req
371. - Uh!
- Uh! Gimme!Copy !req
372. I don't usually hit women,
but I have no other choice.Copy !req
373. Hey, let me go!Copy !req
374. Kegels.Copy !req
375. This is terrible.Copy !req
376. I'll never look in a mirror again.Copy !req
377. It's gonna make it really
tricky when you shave.Copy !req
378. I just want Jonah to be okay.Copy !req
379. Well, I want him to be more than okay,
because I love him more than you do.Copy !req
380. Oh, Steve, we're not in competition.Copy !req
381. We love him in different ways.Copy !req
382. Your love is innocent and simple.Copy !req
383. Ours is nasty and dirty,
violent and sexual.Copy !req
384. Good news, everyone. The
patient's going to make it.Copy !req
385. Yay, he's alive.Copy !req
386. - Oh, thank God.
- Hell yeah.Copy !req
387. Oh, one minor detail.Copy !req
388. - He's not your father.
- What?Copy !req
389. How do you know that?Copy !req
390. I know that because he's a bear.Copy !req
391. - A bear?
- I (Bleep) A bear?Copy !req
392. Ooh, even I think that's bad.Copy !req
393. Yes, he had a bad case of the mange.Copy !req
394. Most of his fur fell out,
but now he's as good as new.Copy !req
395. Damn it, I bet he was a human.Copy !req
396. I thought that was a lock.Copy !req
397. You definitely have a gambling problem.Copy !req
398. When we're done with you, mon, you're
gonna be nothing but a mustache.Copy !req
399. Well, at least he
didn't get me pregnant.Copy !req
400. Good-bye, old bear.Copy !req
401. Just so you know, I'm not mad at you
for lying to me and breaking my heart.Copy !req
402. Steve, we both saw things in
this bear that we wanted to see,Copy !req
403. but we learned from this.Copy !req
404. Yeah, I learned I don't need
a father to make me a man.Copy !req
405. These past few days, I learned how to
ride a bike, and I almost beat up a woman.Copy !req
406. That's as manly as it gets.Copy !req
407. Mmm, and I learned to
be more open-minded.Copy !req
408. After being intimate with a bear,Copy !req
409. I'm almost ready to
consider dating an Armenian.Copy !req
410. Son, is that you?Copy !req
411. Oh, no, I'm not falling for that again.Copy !req
412. My heart.Copy !req