1. Technical support. May I help you?
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2. Hi, uh, my Internet went out right in the
middle of watching Beethoven on Netflix.
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3. I need to know if that dog
gets put to sleep or not!
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4. Oh, the slobbery dog? It is most funny.
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5. My favorite is when he
steals the turkey leg
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6. - from Charles Grodin, and...
- No, no, no, no!
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7. Please don't ruin it!
Just fix my Internet.
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8. Of course, Sir. First,
power cycle the modem.
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9. Unplug the ethernet
cord and the AC adapter.
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10. Ether-dapter? What?
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11. I'm struggling with your stupid accent.
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12. What part of America are you from?
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13. My name is Mukund. I am
from Mumbai, India, Sir.
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14. Moon pie, India? Goddamn outsourcing!
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15. Stealing all our jobs,
screwing up our economy.
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16. My country is in the shitter
because of your country.
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17. This is a bunch of anti-American,
Uncle Sam-raping bullsh... oh.
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18. Oh, it's back on.
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19. Hey, uh, thanks, moonpie.
Thank you so much.
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20. Good morning, rangers. Isn't
this a glorious morning?
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21. Guys, I'm trying to heat up my tea,
but there doesn't seem to be a door.
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22. It's never had a door.
Woody said doors cost extra.
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23. It still works. You just have to
shove a wet knife in the door hole.
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24. - Uh, isn't that dangerous?
- Oh, very.
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25. Another nosebleed.
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26. - Connie! What happened?
- Woody made me neuter the wolves,
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27. but he's too cheap to
buy tranquilizer darts.
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28. Okay, who's first?
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29. That's it, we've gotta do something.
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30. Yeah, before this bitch
turn into a werewolf.
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31. No, about Woody. He's totally
exploiting us just to cut the budget.
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32. We have no health insurance,
no pension, and this is
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33. the worst employee break
room I have ever seen.
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34. What incompetent moron is our Union Rep?
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35. Steve.
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36. Hey, I'm not incompetent, and
what's so bad about this break room?
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37. He broke my dick! That
fridge goat broke my dick!
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38. Yes. Is this bearlover dot net?
Well, your website is broken.
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39. I logged on to see cute bears,
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40. but I just keep seeing
pictures of fat, hairy gay guys!
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41. - Okay, and what is your name, Sir?
- Wait. Mukund? You work here, too?
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42. Yes, Sir. I work for four
companies, 22 hours a day.
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43. 22 hours a day! What a work ethic.
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44. Well, your life probably sucks,
but at least you're loaded, right?
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45. I'm not loaded, but this gun is.
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46. I am coming to you, Ganesh!
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47. Man, this guy's hilarious.
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48. Hello? Hello?
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49. - You gonna get that? Ugh!
- Mukund? Mukund?
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50. Woody, somebody left a pile
of shit on the doorstep.
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51. Ha, ha, ha.
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52. Malloy, have you seen
Denzel, Ethel, and Connie?
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53. This is gonna sting, but they're having
a secret Union meeting to replace you.
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54. That didn't sting at
all. That felt great.
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55. Man, this place is scarier than the
backside of Connie's panties on taco night.
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56. Okay, what do we need? Proper health
benefits, safer working conditions...
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57. - A-ha!
- Ah, shit!
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58. Man, you scared me!
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59. So it's true! You guys
are trying to replace me
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60. - behind my back.
- The thing is, Steve,
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61. we need leadership, and the problem
is, Woody doesn't respect you.
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62. Woody doesn't respect me? But
you guys respect me, don't you?
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63. I think you're a pussy. Mmm.
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64. I'll stand up to Woody! Let
me go to him with your demands.
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65. All I ask is for one more
shot to win back your respect.
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66. Ooh, awkward.
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67. Uh, listen, we've got the graveyard
booked for a human sacrifice at midnight.
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68. Uh, you wouldn't happen
to be a virgin, would you?
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69. Okay, yeah, I get it. I think
you made your point, thank you.
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70. And thank you for double-checking
with me. That's so sweet.
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71. What the hell do you want, Steve?
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72. Woody, as you know, I'm the
representative for the rangers here,
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73. and we have some demands we'd like met.
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74. - Demands?
- Well, maybe suggestions.
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75. Suggestions?
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76. Well, more of a wish list, actually.
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77. All right, Steve.
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78. You want to negotiate?
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79. We'll negotiate.
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80. Good news, guys.
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81. We don't have that crappy
health insurance anymore.
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82. Really? What insurance do we have now?
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83. None, but this way
we'll be more careful.
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84. Also, you know what I really hate?
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85. When you're in your groove,
rangering it up, and then boom,
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86. you get interrupted by
having to take a lunch break.
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87. So Woody's gonna get rid of those.
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88. Steve, you're a spineless turd.
You can't stand up to anyone.
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89. Yes, I can.
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90. - Sit your ass down!
- Okay.
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91. This is unacceptable, and we are
not going to put up with this.
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92. Oh, no? Then maybe I
should just replace you.
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93. Right, like you could find anyone
who would work for less than us.
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94. Funny you should say
that. I already did.
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95. - Hello, my friends.
- Hello, my friends.
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96. Thousand greetings.
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97. Ha, ha, ha! They're Skyped in from
India, and work for three bucks a day.
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98. Do they get any channels
other than Al Jazeera?
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99. So what's it gonna be?
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100. You can "A" take the deal Steve and
I agreed to, or "B" get the hell out!
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101. This is ridiculous. He can't possibly
outsource park rangers to India.
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102. - I call his bluff.
- I'm with Ethel.
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103. Hell, yeah! I'm with Ethel
and Andre the 'Gina. I quit.
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104. Steve, I am so proud of
you for quitting with us.
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105. Yeah, that took balls, Steve.
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106. Well, all for one, right?
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107. Yeah. I thought you was gonna punk out.
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108. Hey, why don't you have
anything in your box?
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109. Sorry, guys, I couldn't quit.
Could you recycle this for me?
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110. - Traitor!
- I should've known.
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111. You better be glad this flimsy
gate's here, or I'd whoop your ass.
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112. I'm with Woody, guys.
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113. I couldn't leave Brickleberry even
if I had to take a 50% pay cut!
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114. Sounds good, Steve! I'm
giving you a 50% pay cut!
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115. Thank you. Great idea, Sir.
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116. Damn it.
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117. Welcome to Brickleberry
National Park, my friends.
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118. Ow! What? I swear to
God, he asked to see it.
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119. Ow!
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120. Ooh, look at that! These
dot bots are incredible!
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121. They work hard and don't complain,
unlike those quitters you call friends.
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122. Gotta respect those
stupid assholes, though.
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123. They stuck to their guns.
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124. How 'bout me? I did
exactly what you wanted.
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125. Damn right, you did.
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126. Hey, Dottie! Two lemonades.
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127. One for me and one for my
submissive bitch, Steve.
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128. Woody, this is not gonna work out.
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129. I mean, they're robots.
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130. Here are the two
lemonades you requested.
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131. Or maybe I shouldn't
be so quick to judge.
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132. The panda's mating season
is from July to September.
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133. Yeah, eat that bamboo.
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134. Hey, keep it down.
I'm trying to watch TV.
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135. Look, Ajay, a talking bear!
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136. He is much like the Teddy Ruxpin,
a children's toy from the mid-1980s.
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137. You would simply insert
audio cassettes into his anus
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138. and he would read fables to you.
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139. Listen, you're not gonna ruin my
life with your annoying work ethic.
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140. Now loosen up, have some fun.
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141. Let's watch some Asian porn
together like gentlemen.
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142. Pandas don't do it for
us. Do you have any cows?
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143. I can't believe Steve did this to us.
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144. It's okay, Connie. We'll
just find new jobs here.
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145. In this inbred, hick town?
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146. I take offense to that. I is the Mayor.
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147. Now I is the Mayor.
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148. You better gimme back
my goddamn Mayor hat!
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149. Politics.
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150. What's more offensive to you?
9/11 jokes or 7-Eleven jokes?
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151. Mm?
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152. Hey, Steve, check this out.
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153. I think I've seen your
mother. She's bow-legged
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154. from your fat head
coming through her wagina.
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155. Nice. If either one of us
had hands, I'd high-five you.
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156. Mr. Steve, I can't believe
they disrespect you like that.
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157. Ah, it's okay. They're my buddies.
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158. - I'm not your buddy, dick hole!
- Eh, me neither, dick hole!
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159. Uh, you're Dottie, right?
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160. Actually, my name is Rakshapani.
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161. Oh, uh, I'm Steve.
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162. I know. You are the top
ranger here at Brickleberry.
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163. Really? You know what?
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164. We should grab dinner some
time, rock... shit... pony.
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165. We've looked everywhere.
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166. There's no job openings in this town.
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167. - This place looks promising.
- Ethel, I think that's a titty bar.
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168. - I don't know if we should...
- Yeah!
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169. Tit-ty bar! Tit-ty bar!
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170. Come in, come in!
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171. Jesus, this business
is getting so stale.
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172. What do you want?
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173. What do we have here?
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174. You! You're the world's
next stripping sensation!
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175. Well, guys, this is a...
this is a tough decision,
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176. but I'm going to do it. I'm
gonna do it for all of us.
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177. Okay, Sir, I will agree to
expose my perfect body for money.
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178. Not you, skinny tits. There's
a million just like you.
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179. I'm talking about her!
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180. - Me?
- Her?
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181. - You blind, right?
- Shut your face!
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182. My whole career I've
been looking for an act
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183. so unconventional that it
will shake up the industry.
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184. I've got big plans. I'm
going to make you a star!
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185. Mm, I don't know, Mister.
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186. It's Jorge. Come on! I'll
even hire these two freaks.
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187. - Okay, I'll do it.
- Yes!
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188. You'll be our new DJ, and you
can mop up the peep booths.
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189. - What?
- Man. I hate DJ-ing.
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190. - You want to switch jobs?
- Really?
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191. Hell, no! I love DJ-ing. Have
fun mopping up that semen.
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192. Aw, you guys are working again.
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193. Come on, put him down. I've got
a really important job for you.
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194. Now, if one of you
could rape the other one,
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195. this would be just like game of thrones.
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196. And that is why Jesus could beat
Gandhi in mixed martial arts.
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197. Oh, Steve, you know so
much about everything.
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198. I hope to one day become
a great ranger like you.
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199. True, I am a great ranger, but I'm...
I, uh, let my friends down recently.
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200. I'm sure you did everything you could.
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201. You're a good man, Steve.
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202. Oh, rock shit pony. I
love how you just get me.
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203. Usually I hate foreigners, I'm gonna
be honest, but you guys I hate way less.
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204. This has been very much fun.
Unfortunately, we must get back to work.
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205. Back to work at this hour? Come on!
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206. Mr. Woody has advised me we do
not get time off to sleep even.
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207. - Well, don't listen to him.
- How do you don't listen?
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208. See, here in America, the only person
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209. you should take orders from
are your friends, like me.
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210. When your boss tells you to do
something, it's just a suggestion.
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211. The goal should be to do as
little work as humanly possible.
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212. Really? What else should
we know about America?
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213. I cannot believe we are at
a real American strip party.
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214. I know. I will now produce precipitation
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215. using this low-denominational currency.
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216. So, mahogany man. Are you
ready to introduce the girls?
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217. Yeah. I took it upon myself
to do a little research.
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218. Hey, y'all, it's your boy, Dirty D,
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219. the only DJ that tells
it like it really is.
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220. Up next to the stage is a hot young lady
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221. who was sexually abused by
her special needs brother.
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222. She blamed herself and
picked up a nasty meth habit.
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223. Please, show her some
love and maybe she won't
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224. cry herself to sleep tonight.
Welcome Kandy to the main stage!
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225. There you are! Woody is pissed.
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226. You guys should be at work!
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227. Hey, lard face, we are in America now.
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228. This is how the game is played.
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229. Yes, it's time to be
lazy, wear the Levi,
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230. eat the french fry, and see the titty.
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231. Oh.
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232. Hey, Ethel. What are you doing here?
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233. My new job, the official mayonnaise
mopper thanks to you, Steve.
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234. This'll look great on my resume.
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235. It's not that bad of a gig.
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236. Hey. Ethel! I need you
in the champagne room!
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237. It looks like a pinkberry
exploded in there!
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238. Up next is Crystal.
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239. She'll be shakin' that
ass to buy baby formula.
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240. She's on probation for stealin' Huggies
and she lives in a 1980 Monte Carlo!
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241. The only thing lower than her
hourly rates is her self-esteem.
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242. So let's get rock hard for Crystal!
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243. All right, Ajay. I got
50 on Mohindernanthan.
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244. What in the hell is going on?
You're not even allowed in here!
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245. We do the ping pong with the bear.
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246. I thought I told you to drag
that trash into the lake!
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247. We did not feel like it.
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248. Didn't f... you robots are dead meat!
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249. I am doubling your work! The
work that you are doing now,
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250. your going to be doing twice
as much of it! Doubling!
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251. You ever heard of that, ra...?
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252. Mmm.
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253. Mmm.
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254. Whoa! What the hell
are you doing, Steve?
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255. This is even weird for you.
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256. Woody, I, uh...
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257. Steve you cannot have
sex with the robots!
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258. She needs to be working. I don't
want you to see her anymore.
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259. - But, Sir...
- I'll handle this, Dottie.
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260. Whatever you say, Woody.
I won't see her anymore.
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261. What? What are you doing, Steve?
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262. Sorry, Dottie. You heard what he said.
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263. In love with a robot. Steve,
you stupid son of a bitch.
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264. No wonder your friends
don't respect you.
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265. You don't even respect yourself.
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266. Dottie. Look, I'm sorry.
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267. What! Who are you?
Where's rock shit pony?
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268. Oh, Rakshapani's dead.
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269. - What?
- No, no, no, no, no.
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270. Rakshapani was raped by a wizard.
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271. - What?
- I mean she quit.
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272. Sorry.
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273. All right, Denzel. Connie's next.
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274. Give our star a proper intro!
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275. Next up, guys, we have something
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276. I'm sure you've never seen
before and never wanted to.
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277. A plus-size lesbian, with abnormal
enlargement of the clitoris.
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278. Give me that!
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279. Are you ready for the most unique
new talent you've ever seen, guys?
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280. Please welcome the world's
newest stripping legend, Con-nie!
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281. Go! Yes!
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282. What the hell is that?
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283. Yes, they love you!
Show them the 7-10 split!
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284. Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie!
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285. Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie!
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286. Hey, hey! Wait a minute!
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287. Skinny tits, where the
hell shit is Connie?
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288. She's missing practice.
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289. - Uh, where do you think you're going?
- I need to see Connie.
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290. You got an appointment?
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291. Hey, you don't have an appointment.
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292. Here's the peeled grapes you asked for.
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293. Feed me.
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294. All right, don't you think you're
taking this diva stuff a little too far?
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295. It's not like you.
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296. Jorge said you blew off practice again?
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297. I don't have time for
that. I'm a Goddess,
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298. not a plain girl like you.
I deserve star treatment.
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299. - I can't believe...
- Feed me!
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300. We want Connie! We want Connie!
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301. Connie, what are you doing? It's
time to go on. Your fans await.
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302. Even the Mayor is here
with his Mayor hat.
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303. I'll go on when I feel like it!
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304. What happen to you? You get
too big for your britches!
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305. You don't practice, your cooch-hoop
has become loose and undisciplined.
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306. You get down on your knees and beg me.
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307. Fak ju! I don't beg for anybody!
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308. Okay, I beg. Come on, Connie, please.
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309. Please, Connie, please.
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310. Hit me! Hit me!
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311. Hey! That was just a joke.
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312. Let her try again.
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313. Yeah, so if I stretch real far...
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314. If I stretch as far as I can, I can
just touch the helmet with my tongue.
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315. Uh, Steve. I'm actually
happy to see you.
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316. Hey, Woody, can I talk to you for...
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317. Yeah, thanks to outsourcing, Steve,
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318. Brickleberry's budget
is back in the black.
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319. Check it out. Look at
all the money we saved.
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320. - How much did that bulletin board cost?
- All the money we saved.
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321. Look, Woody, I need some time off.
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322. I'm flying to India to get
back the love of my life.
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323. Hold on. Uh, Woody was just telling
me how he tried to suck himself,
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324. and somehow you still win most pathetic.
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325. They will be no time off,
and that's final! Get to work!
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326. I understand.
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327. No.
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328. What did you say, Steve?
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329. I said no. Not this time.
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330. You're not gonna push me
around. I'm not backing down!
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331. - What?
- Yeah.
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332. I'm going to India to
get rock shit pony back.
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333. I love her and that's what I'm going
to do, whether you like it or not.
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334. Well then, Steve, you're...
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335. Fired? Good. You treat me like garbage.
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336. You can run this place on your own.
I should've left when the others did.
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337. Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm going to India!
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338. Rock shit pony?
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339. Steve?
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340. I'm sorry, guys. I guess
I should've practiced more.
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341. I got lazy and let it all go to my head.
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342. Ha, looks like you let some
of it go to your ass, too!
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343. It's okay, Connie.
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344. You. You ruined me!
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345. That vagina could have been
bigger than the Beatles!
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346. Too bad it's attached to an egomaniac!
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347. Get out! You're fired!
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348. Take the brown one and the
walking stick with tits with you!
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349. Well, a compliment, finally!
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350. Hey! What the hell are you doing?
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351. We are just stealing from work.
That is what Americans do, yes?
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352. Yes Mohindernanthan. We are entitled.
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353. My bulletin board! That
is it! You're all fired!
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354. I'm calling your company right now.
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355. Outsourcing of India,
how may I help you?
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356. What? I can't understand you!
Let me speak to an Indian!
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357. Ah. So sorry, but entire
customer service department
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358. has been outsourced to south Korea.
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359. Ugh! Goddamn it!
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360. All right, I stand corrected.
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361. Those turban-ators were
even worse than you.
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362. Steve convinced me to give
you your old jobs back.
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363. At full pay, with better health
benefits, and safer working conditions.
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364. And I get a three hour work day.
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365. - Fine!
- Week.
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366. - Fine!
- Month.
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367. - Whatever! Just get back to work.
- Ugh! You hired them back?
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368. What happened to my robots?
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369. Don't worry about them. Some
stupid ass will hire 'em.
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370. I (Bleep) Love...
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371. America!
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