1. Technical support. May I help you?Copy !req
2. Hi, uh, my Internet went out right in the
middle of watching Beethoven on Netflix.Copy !req
3. I need to know if that dog
gets put to sleep or not!Copy !req
4. Oh, the slobbery dog? It is most funny.Copy !req
5. My favorite is when he
steals the turkey legCopy !req
6. - from Charles Grodin, and...
- No, no, no, no!Copy !req
7. Please don't ruin it!
Just fix my Internet.Copy !req
8. Of course, Sir. First,
power cycle the modem.Copy !req
9. Unplug the ethernet
cord and the AC adapter.Copy !req
10. Ether-dapter? What?Copy !req
11. I'm struggling with your stupid accent.Copy !req
12. What part of America are you from?Copy !req
13. My name is Mukund. I am
from Mumbai, India, Sir.Copy !req
14. Moon pie, India? Goddamn outsourcing!Copy !req
15. Stealing all our jobs,
screwing up our economy.Copy !req
16. My country is in the shitter
because of your country.Copy !req
17. This is a bunch of anti-American,
Uncle Sam-raping bullsh... oh.Copy !req
18. Oh, it's back on.Copy !req
19. Hey, uh, thanks, moonpie.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
20. Good morning, rangers. Isn't
this a glorious morning?Copy !req
21. Guys, I'm trying to heat up my tea,
but there doesn't seem to be a door.Copy !req
22. It's never had a door.
Woody said doors cost extra.Copy !req
23. It still works. You just have to
shove a wet knife in the door hole.Copy !req
24. - Uh, isn't that dangerous?
- Oh, very.Copy !req
25. Another nosebleed.Copy !req
26. - Connie! What happened?
- Woody made me neuter the wolves,Copy !req
27. but he's too cheap to
buy tranquilizer darts.Copy !req
28. Okay, who's first?Copy !req
29. That's it, we've gotta do something.Copy !req
30. Yeah, before this bitch
turn into a werewolf.Copy !req
31. No, about Woody. He's totally
exploiting us just to cut the budget.Copy !req
32. We have no health insurance,
no pension, and this isCopy !req
33. the worst employee break
room I have ever seen.Copy !req
34. What incompetent moron is our Union Rep?Copy !req
35. Steve.Copy !req
36. Hey, I'm not incompetent, and
what's so bad about this break room?Copy !req
37. He broke my dick! That
fridge goat broke my dick!Copy !req
38. Yes. Is this bearlover dot net?
Well, your website is broken.Copy !req
39. I logged on to see cute bears,Copy !req
40. but I just keep seeing
pictures of fat, hairy gay guys!Copy !req
41. - Okay, and what is your name, Sir?
- Wait. Mukund? You work here, too?Copy !req
42. Yes, Sir. I work for four
companies, 22 hours a day.Copy !req
43. 22 hours a day! What a work ethic.Copy !req
44. Well, your life probably sucks,
but at least you're loaded, right?Copy !req
45. I'm not loaded, but this gun is.Copy !req
46. I am coming to you, Ganesh!Copy !req
47. Man, this guy's hilarious.Copy !req
48. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
49. - You gonna get that? Ugh!
- Mukund? Mukund?Copy !req
50. Woody, somebody left a pile
of shit on the doorstep.Copy !req
51. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
52. Malloy, have you seen
Denzel, Ethel, and Connie?Copy !req
53. This is gonna sting, but they're having
a secret Union meeting to replace you.Copy !req
54. That didn't sting at
all. That felt great.Copy !req
55. Man, this place is scarier than the
backside of Connie's panties on taco night.Copy !req
56. Okay, what do we need? Proper health
benefits, safer working conditions...Copy !req
57. - A-ha!
- Ah, shit!Copy !req
58. Man, you scared me!Copy !req
59. So it's true! You guys
are trying to replace meCopy !req
60. - behind my back.
- The thing is, Steve,Copy !req
61. we need leadership, and the problem
is, Woody doesn't respect you.Copy !req
62. Woody doesn't respect me? But
you guys respect me, don't you?Copy !req
63. I think you're a pussy. Mmm.Copy !req
64. I'll stand up to Woody! Let
me go to him with your demands.Copy !req
65. All I ask is for one more
shot to win back your respect.Copy !req
66. Ooh, awkward.Copy !req
67. Uh, listen, we've got the graveyard
booked for a human sacrifice at midnight.Copy !req
68. Uh, you wouldn't happen
to be a virgin, would you?Copy !req
69. Okay, yeah, I get it. I think
you made your point, thank you.Copy !req
70. And thank you for double-checking
with me. That's so sweet.Copy !req
71. What the hell do you want, Steve?Copy !req
72. Woody, as you know, I'm the
representative for the rangers here,Copy !req
73. and we have some demands we'd like met.Copy !req
74. - Demands?
- Well, maybe suggestions.Copy !req
75. Suggestions?Copy !req
76. Well, more of a wish list, actually.Copy !req
77. All right, Steve.Copy !req
78. You want to negotiate?Copy !req
79. We'll negotiate.Copy !req
80. Good news, guys.Copy !req
81. We don't have that crappy
health insurance anymore.Copy !req
82. Really? What insurance do we have now?Copy !req
83. None, but this way
we'll be more careful.Copy !req
84. Also, you know what I really hate?Copy !req
85. When you're in your groove,
rangering it up, and then boom,Copy !req
86. you get interrupted by
having to take a lunch break.Copy !req
87. So Woody's gonna get rid of those.Copy !req
88. Steve, you're a spineless turd.
You can't stand up to anyone.Copy !req
89. Yes, I can.Copy !req
90. - Sit your ass down!
- Okay.Copy !req
91. This is unacceptable, and we are
not going to put up with this.Copy !req
92. Oh, no? Then maybe I
should just replace you.Copy !req
93. Right, like you could find anyone
who would work for less than us.Copy !req
94. Funny you should say
that. I already did.Copy !req
95. - Hello, my friends.
- Hello, my friends.Copy !req
96. Thousand greetings.Copy !req
97. Ha, ha, ha! They're Skyped in from
India, and work for three bucks a day.Copy !req
98. Do they get any channels
other than Al Jazeera?Copy !req
99. So what's it gonna be?Copy !req
100. You can "A" take the deal Steve and
I agreed to, or "B" get the hell out!Copy !req
101. This is ridiculous. He can't possibly
outsource park rangers to India.Copy !req
102. - I call his bluff.
- I'm with Ethel.Copy !req
103. Hell, yeah! I'm with Ethel
and Andre the 'Gina. I quit.Copy !req
104. Steve, I am so proud of
you for quitting with us.Copy !req
105. Yeah, that took balls, Steve.Copy !req
106. Well, all for one, right?Copy !req
107. Yeah. I thought you was gonna punk out.Copy !req
108. Hey, why don't you have
anything in your box?Copy !req
109. Sorry, guys, I couldn't quit.
Could you recycle this for me?Copy !req
110. - Traitor!
- I should've known.Copy !req
111. You better be glad this flimsy
gate's here, or I'd whoop your ass.Copy !req
112. I'm with Woody, guys.Copy !req
113. I couldn't leave Brickleberry even
if I had to take a 50% pay cut!Copy !req
114. Sounds good, Steve! I'm
giving you a 50% pay cut!Copy !req
115. Thank you. Great idea, Sir.Copy !req
116. Damn it.Copy !req
117. Welcome to Brickleberry
National Park, my friends.Copy !req
118. Ow! What? I swear to
God, he asked to see it.Copy !req
119. Ow!Copy !req
120. Ooh, look at that! These
dot bots are incredible!Copy !req
121. They work hard and don't complain,
unlike those quitters you call friends.Copy !req
122. Gotta respect those
stupid assholes, though.Copy !req
123. They stuck to their guns.Copy !req
124. How 'bout me? I did
exactly what you wanted.Copy !req
125. Damn right, you did.Copy !req
126. Hey, Dottie! Two lemonades.Copy !req
127. One for me and one for my
submissive bitch, Steve.Copy !req
128. Woody, this is not gonna work out.Copy !req
129. I mean, they're robots.Copy !req
130. Here are the two
lemonades you requested.Copy !req
131. Or maybe I shouldn't
be so quick to judge.Copy !req
132. The panda's mating season
is from July to September.Copy !req
133. Yeah, eat that bamboo.Copy !req
134. Hey, keep it down.
I'm trying to watch TV.Copy !req
135. Look, Ajay, a talking bear!Copy !req
136. He is much like the Teddy Ruxpin,
a children's toy from the mid-1980s.Copy !req
137. You would simply insert
audio cassettes into his anusCopy !req
138. and he would read fables to you.Copy !req
139. Listen, you're not gonna ruin my
life with your annoying work ethic.Copy !req
140. Now loosen up, have some fun.Copy !req
141. Let's watch some Asian porn
together like gentlemen.Copy !req
142. Pandas don't do it for
us. Do you have any cows?Copy !req
143. I can't believe Steve did this to us.Copy !req
144. It's okay, Connie. We'll
just find new jobs here.Copy !req
145. In this inbred, hick town?Copy !req
146. I take offense to that. I is the Mayor.Copy !req
147. Now I is the Mayor.Copy !req
148. You better gimme back
my goddamn Mayor hat!Copy !req
149. Politics.Copy !req
150. What's more offensive to you?
9/11 jokes or 7-Eleven jokes?Copy !req
151. Mm?Copy !req
152. Hey, Steve, check this out.Copy !req
153. I think I've seen your
mother. She's bow-leggedCopy !req
154. from your fat head
coming through her wagina.Copy !req
155. Nice. If either one of us
had hands, I'd high-five you.Copy !req
156. Mr. Steve, I can't believe
they disrespect you like that.Copy !req
157. Ah, it's okay. They're my buddies.Copy !req
158. - I'm not your buddy, dick hole!
- Eh, me neither, dick hole!Copy !req
159. Uh, you're Dottie, right?Copy !req
160. Actually, my name is Rakshapani.Copy !req
161. Oh, uh, I'm Steve.Copy !req
162. I know. You are the top
ranger here at Brickleberry.Copy !req
163. Really? You know what?Copy !req
164. We should grab dinner some
time, rock... shit... pony.Copy !req
165. We've looked everywhere.Copy !req
166. There's no job openings in this town.Copy !req
167. - This place looks promising.
- Ethel, I think that's a titty bar.Copy !req
168. - I don't know if we should...
- Yeah!Copy !req
169. Tit-ty bar! Tit-ty bar!Copy !req
170. Come in, come in!Copy !req
171. Jesus, this business
is getting so stale.Copy !req
172. What do you want?Copy !req
173. What do we have here?Copy !req
174. You! You're the world's
next stripping sensation!Copy !req
175. Well, guys, this is a...
this is a tough decision,Copy !req
176. but I'm going to do it. I'm
gonna do it for all of us.Copy !req
177. Okay, Sir, I will agree to
expose my perfect body for money.Copy !req
178. Not you, skinny tits. There's
a million just like you.Copy !req
179. I'm talking about her!Copy !req
180. - Me?
- Her?Copy !req
181. - You blind, right?
- Shut your face!Copy !req
182. My whole career I've
been looking for an actCopy !req
183. so unconventional that it
will shake up the industry.Copy !req
184. I've got big plans. I'm
going to make you a star!Copy !req
185. Mm, I don't know, Mister.Copy !req
186. It's Jorge. Come on! I'll
even hire these two freaks.Copy !req
187. - Okay, I'll do it.
- Yes!Copy !req
188. You'll be our new DJ, and you
can mop up the peep booths.Copy !req
189. - What?
- Man. I hate DJ-ing.Copy !req
190. - You want to switch jobs?
- Really?Copy !req
191. Hell, no! I love DJ-ing. Have
fun mopping up that semen.Copy !req
192. Aw, you guys are working again.Copy !req
193. Come on, put him down. I've got
a really important job for you.Copy !req
194. Now, if one of you
could rape the other one,Copy !req
195. this would be just like game of thrones.Copy !req
196. And that is why Jesus could beat
Gandhi in mixed martial arts.Copy !req
197. Oh, Steve, you know so
much about everything.Copy !req
198. I hope to one day become
a great ranger like you.Copy !req
199. True, I am a great ranger, but I'm...
I, uh, let my friends down recently.Copy !req
200. I'm sure you did everything you could.Copy !req
201. You're a good man, Steve.Copy !req
202. Oh, rock shit pony. I
love how you just get me.Copy !req
203. Usually I hate foreigners, I'm gonna
be honest, but you guys I hate way less.Copy !req
204. This has been very much fun.
Unfortunately, we must get back to work.Copy !req
205. Back to work at this hour? Come on!Copy !req
206. Mr. Woody has advised me we do
not get time off to sleep even.Copy !req
207. - Well, don't listen to him.
- How do you don't listen?Copy !req
208. See, here in America, the only personCopy !req
209. you should take orders from
are your friends, like me.Copy !req
210. When your boss tells you to do
something, it's just a suggestion.Copy !req
211. The goal should be to do as
little work as humanly possible.Copy !req
212. Really? What else should
we know about America?Copy !req
213. I cannot believe we are at
a real American strip party.Copy !req
214. I know. I will now produce precipitationCopy !req
215. using this low-denominational currency.Copy !req
216. So, mahogany man. Are you
ready to introduce the girls?Copy !req
217. Yeah. I took it upon myself
to do a little research.Copy !req
218. Hey, y'all, it's your boy, Dirty D,Copy !req
219. the only DJ that tells
it like it really is.Copy !req
220. Up next to the stage is a hot young ladyCopy !req
221. who was sexually abused by
her special needs brother.Copy !req
222. She blamed herself and
picked up a nasty meth habit.Copy !req
223. Please, show her some
love and maybe she won'tCopy !req
224. cry herself to sleep tonight.
Welcome Kandy to the main stage!Copy !req
225. There you are! Woody is pissed.Copy !req
226. You guys should be at work!Copy !req
227. Hey, lard face, we are in America now.Copy !req
228. This is how the game is played.Copy !req
229. Yes, it's time to be
lazy, wear the Levi,Copy !req
230. eat the french fry, and see the titty.Copy !req
231. Oh.Copy !req
232. Hey, Ethel. What are you doing here?Copy !req
233. My new job, the official mayonnaise
mopper thanks to you, Steve.Copy !req
234. This'll look great on my resume.Copy !req
235. It's not that bad of a gig.Copy !req
236. Hey. Ethel! I need you
in the champagne room!Copy !req
237. It looks like a pinkberry
exploded in there!Copy !req
238. Up next is Crystal.Copy !req
239. She'll be shakin' that
ass to buy baby formula.Copy !req
240. She's on probation for stealin' Huggies
and she lives in a 1980 Monte Carlo!Copy !req
241. The only thing lower than her
hourly rates is her self-esteem.Copy !req
242. So let's get rock hard for Crystal!Copy !req
243. All right, Ajay. I got
50 on Mohindernanthan.Copy !req
244. What in the hell is going on?
You're not even allowed in here!Copy !req
245. We do the ping pong with the bear.Copy !req
246. I thought I told you to drag
that trash into the lake!Copy !req
247. We did not feel like it.Copy !req
248. Didn't f... you robots are dead meat!Copy !req
249. I am doubling your work! The
work that you are doing now,Copy !req
250. your going to be doing twice
as much of it! Doubling!Copy !req
251. You ever heard of that, ra...?Copy !req
252. Mmm.Copy !req
253. Mmm.Copy !req
254. Whoa! What the hell
are you doing, Steve?Copy !req
255. This is even weird for you.Copy !req
256. Woody, I, uh...Copy !req
257. Steve you cannot have
sex with the robots!Copy !req
258. She needs to be working. I don't
want you to see her anymore.Copy !req
259. - But, Sir...
- I'll handle this, Dottie.Copy !req
260. Whatever you say, Woody.
I won't see her anymore.Copy !req
261. What? What are you doing, Steve?Copy !req
262. Sorry, Dottie. You heard what he said.Copy !req
263. In love with a robot. Steve,
you stupid son of a bitch.Copy !req
264. No wonder your friends
don't respect you.Copy !req
265. You don't even respect yourself.Copy !req
266. Dottie. Look, I'm sorry.Copy !req
267. What! Who are you?
Where's rock shit pony?Copy !req
268. Oh, Rakshapani's dead.Copy !req
269. - What?
- No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
270. Rakshapani was raped by a wizard.Copy !req
271. - What?
- I mean she quit.Copy !req
272. Sorry.Copy !req
273. All right, Denzel. Connie's next.Copy !req
274. Give our star a proper intro!Copy !req
275. Next up, guys, we have somethingCopy !req
276. I'm sure you've never seen
before and never wanted to.Copy !req
277. A plus-size lesbian, with abnormal
enlargement of the clitoris.Copy !req
278. Give me that!Copy !req
279. Are you ready for the most unique
new talent you've ever seen, guys?Copy !req
280. Please welcome the world's
newest stripping legend, Con-nie!Copy !req
281. Go! Yes!Copy !req
282. What the hell is that?Copy !req
283. Yes, they love you!
Show them the 7-10 split!Copy !req
284. Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie!Copy !req
285. Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie!Copy !req
286. Hey, hey! Wait a minute!Copy !req
287. Skinny tits, where the
hell shit is Connie?Copy !req
288. She's missing practice.Copy !req
289. - Uh, where do you think you're going?
- I need to see Connie.Copy !req
290. You got an appointment?Copy !req
291. Hey, you don't have an appointment.Copy !req
292. Here's the peeled grapes you asked for.Copy !req
293. Feed me.Copy !req
294. All right, don't you think you're
taking this diva stuff a little too far?Copy !req
295. It's not like you.Copy !req
296. Jorge said you blew off practice again?Copy !req
297. I don't have time for
that. I'm a Goddess,Copy !req
298. not a plain girl like you.
I deserve star treatment.Copy !req
299. - I can't believe...
- Feed me!Copy !req
300. We want Connie! We want Connie!Copy !req
301. Connie, what are you doing? It's
time to go on. Your fans await.Copy !req
302. Even the Mayor is here
with his Mayor hat.Copy !req
303. I'll go on when I feel like it!Copy !req
304. What happen to you? You get
too big for your britches!Copy !req
305. You don't practice, your cooch-hoop
has become loose and undisciplined.Copy !req
306. You get down on your knees and beg me.Copy !req
307. Fak ju! I don't beg for anybody!Copy !req
308. Okay, I beg. Come on, Connie, please.Copy !req
309. Please, Connie, please.Copy !req
310. Hit me! Hit me!Copy !req
311. Hey! That was just a joke.Copy !req
312. Let her try again.Copy !req
313. Yeah, so if I stretch real far...Copy !req
314. If I stretch as far as I can, I can
just touch the helmet with my tongue.Copy !req
315. Uh, Steve. I'm actually
happy to see you.Copy !req
316. Hey, Woody, can I talk to you for...Copy !req
317. Yeah, thanks to outsourcing, Steve,Copy !req
318. Brickleberry's budget
is back in the black.Copy !req
319. Check it out. Look at
all the money we saved.Copy !req
320. - How much did that bulletin board cost?
- All the money we saved.Copy !req
321. Look, Woody, I need some time off.Copy !req
322. I'm flying to India to get
back the love of my life.Copy !req
323. Hold on. Uh, Woody was just telling
me how he tried to suck himself,Copy !req
324. and somehow you still win most pathetic.Copy !req
325. They will be no time off,
and that's final! Get to work!Copy !req
326. I understand.Copy !req
327. No.Copy !req
328. What did you say, Steve?Copy !req
329. I said no. Not this time.Copy !req
330. You're not gonna push me
around. I'm not backing down!Copy !req
331. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
332. I'm going to India to
get rock shit pony back.Copy !req
333. I love her and that's what I'm going
to do, whether you like it or not.Copy !req
334. Well then, Steve, you're...Copy !req
335. Fired? Good. You treat me like garbage.Copy !req
336. You can run this place on your own.
I should've left when the others did.Copy !req
337. Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm going to India!Copy !req
338. Rock shit pony?Copy !req
339. Steve?Copy !req
340. I'm sorry, guys. I guess
I should've practiced more.Copy !req
341. I got lazy and let it all go to my head.Copy !req
342. Ha, looks like you let some
of it go to your ass, too!Copy !req
343. It's okay, Connie.Copy !req
344. You. You ruined me!Copy !req
345. That vagina could have been
bigger than the Beatles!Copy !req
346. Too bad it's attached to an egomaniac!Copy !req
347. Get out! You're fired!Copy !req
348. Take the brown one and the
walking stick with tits with you!Copy !req
349. Well, a compliment, finally!Copy !req
350. Hey! What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
351. We are just stealing from work.
That is what Americans do, yes?Copy !req
352. Yes Mohindernanthan. We are entitled.Copy !req
353. My bulletin board! That
is it! You're all fired!Copy !req
354. I'm calling your company right now.Copy !req
355. Outsourcing of India,
how may I help you?Copy !req
356. What? I can't understand you!
Let me speak to an Indian!Copy !req
357. Ah. So sorry, but entire
customer service departmentCopy !req
358. has been outsourced to south Korea.Copy !req
359. Ugh! Goddamn it!Copy !req
360. All right, I stand corrected.Copy !req
361. Those turban-ators were
even worse than you.Copy !req
362. Steve convinced me to give
you your old jobs back.Copy !req
363. At full pay, with better health
benefits, and safer working conditions.Copy !req
364. And I get a three hour work day.Copy !req
365. - Fine!
- Week.Copy !req
366. - Fine!
- Month.Copy !req
367. - Whatever! Just get back to work.
- Ugh! You hired them back?Copy !req
368. What happened to my robots?Copy !req
369. Don't worry about them. Some
stupid ass will hire 'em.Copy !req
370. I (Bleep) Love...Copy !req
371. America!Copy !req