1. Subs created by: David Coleman.Copy !req
2. - Yo, pooh bear.
- We watching you, sucker.Copy !req
3. - Man, we run this bitch.
- Yeah.Copy !req
4. And when you work with your best
friend, it's not even like work.Copy !req
5. I feel the same way, bro.
When working is hard work, I stop working.Copy !req
6. You know what we should do?Copy !req
7. Come up with a catchphrase, so we can say
it when we do something cool like that.Copy !req
8. It should be, like, a
combination of our names or...Copy !req
9. - Ste-Zel.
- That's it.Copy !req
10. How did you just come up with that?Copy !req
11. - I'm black.
- Man, you are cool.Copy !req
12. Help! Help!Copy !req
13. No, no, no, no! Please, no!Copy !req
14. Ow, ow, no!Copy !req
15. Oh, my God!Copy !req
16. Get out of here! Go on! What happened here?Copy !req
17. I was just minding my business when
this moose sexually assaulted me.Copy !req
18. I'm gonna report this to the
National Park service, congress.Copy !req
19. I'll sue your...Copy !req
20. What are you doing?
No, no, no, no. Not again, no.Copy !req
21. Now we're gonna ask you one more time.
What happened here?Copy !req
22. Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.Copy !req
23. And whose fault was it?Copy !req
24. It was mine. All my fault.Copy !req
25. You were asking for it, weren't you?Copy !req
26. Walking around dressed like a whore.Copy !req
27. - Ain't that right?
- Whatever you say.Copy !req
28. I should have never worn this outfit.Copy !req
29. Good answer.Copy !req
30. Ste-Zel.Copy !req
31. Brickleberry...Copy !req
32. What's the emergency?Copy !req
33. Woody hasn't used the siren in years.Copy !req
34. It's got to be something major.Copy !req
35. It better be. I was having a good dream.Copy !req
36. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
37. Oh, my God. I had the same dream.Copy !req
38. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
39. Ste-Zel.Copy !req
40. Condition red armageddon shitstorm, people.Copy !req
41. The Secretary of the Interior is coming
for a surprise inspection today!Copy !req
42. Actually, it's not a surprise.
I put it on his calendar six months ago.Copy !req
43. Did you write "check calendar"
on the goddamn calendar?Copy !req
44. - Yes.
- Oh, you did, huh?Copy !req
45. Okay, we only got a few hours to
get this crap hole into shapeCopy !req
46. before Sanders gets here.
Ladies, sweep the Park for dead animals.Copy !req
47. Sanders? You don't mean
Kirk Sanders, do you?Copy !req
48. Yeah, yeah. Kirk Sanders.Copy !req
49. Ah!Copy !req
50. Now that's a go-get-'em attitude.Copy !req
51. Steve, I want you to start a forest fire.Copy !req
52. I'll do it without question, Sir.Copy !req
53. Quick question. Why am I doing this?Copy !req
54. Because, stupid, when I put
the fire out, I'll be a hero.Copy !req
55. I'll get a promotion.Copy !req
56. Or at least get some of
those war crimes expunged.Copy !req
57. - Yo, Woody, what's my job?
- Since when do you want a job?Copy !req
58. If this place shuts down, I don't get paid.Copy !req
59. I didn't want to tax you, Denzel.Copy !req
60. Just smile and try to be articulate.Copy !req
61. - What do you mean "articulate"?
- I'm sorry. Way over your head.Copy !req
62. It means well-spoken.Copy !req
63. I know what it means, you ignorant bastard.Copy !req
64. I want something important to do.
I'll be in charge of starting that fire.Copy !req
65. Okay, okay.
I'm sure you can do the job, Denzel.Copy !req
66. - Sorry if I was racially insensitive.
- Thank you.Copy !req
67. Of course you're qualified to start fires.Copy !req
68. How else would he celebrate
an NBA championship?Copy !req
69. Ah! Wood-Loy!Copy !req
70. Man, screw those guys.Copy !req
71. I don't burn things because
my teams win championships.Copy !req
72. I do it for the insurance money.Copy !req
73. Oh, my God. A real black man.Copy !req
74. I hope it's not too much to ask,Copy !req
75. but I'd consider it an honor if you'd
bitch slap me as hard as you can.Copy !req
76. What? Get yo ass out of here.Copy !req
77. Denzel, that's rude.Copy !req
78. "Bitch slap. " That's offensive.Copy !req
79. I should slap that bitch.Copy !req
80. Steve, you have no idea what's it like to
be the only black person for miles around.Copy !req
81. Everyone staring at me,
like I'm a criminal!Copy !req
82. What? I don't see what you're so mad at.Copy !req
83. So people enjoy looking at you.Copy !req
84. You're, like, a...Copy !req
85. - Like a monkey in the zoo?
- Exactly, you're like a monkey in the zoo.Copy !req
86. Perfect analogy.Copy !req
87. Do you know how racist that is?Copy !req
88. Racist? Come on.
We both know there's no racism anymore.Copy !req
89. It ended the day Martin Luther
King landed on the moon.Copy !req
90. Man, you don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
91. I would love to be black
in today's society.Copy !req
92. You set all the trends, and
you get to say the "N" word.Copy !req
93. You have no idea how many times
I've wanted to say the "N" word.Copy !req
94. You know what, Steve?
I need some time away from your dumb ass.Copy !req
95. - Wait. You're not mad at me, are you?
- Oh, no. I'm not mad.Copy !req
96. Okay, now you're sending mixed signals.Copy !req
97. Uh, have you noticed this Park has
more dead animals than live animals?Copy !req
98. It might have something
to do with this... tree.Copy !req
99. Woody let them install it so he
could get free text messaging.Copy !req
100. Good-bye, endangered friend.Copy !req
101. So, Connie, have you been taking your meds?Copy !req
102. Because I noticed you went a little
more bat-shit crazy than usualCopy !req
103. when Woody mentioned
the name Kirk Sanders.Copy !req
104. Kirk Sanders! Ah!Copy !req
105. Mm, mm-hmm. Like that.Copy !req
106. There's something about me you don't know.Copy !req
107. Before I came to Brickleberry, I
was trained to be a Navy Seal.Copy !req
108. Sanders was my C.O.Copy !req
109. I was actually really good at it.Copy !req
110. But Sanders discovered my weakness.Copy !req
111. And he used it against me.Copy !req
112. Holy Jesus.Copy !req
113. What is that? What the (Bleep) Is that?Copy !req
114. Sir, a four-course
Thanksgiving dinner, Sir.Copy !req
115. Why did you hide an entire Thanksgiving
dinner in your footlocker?Copy !req
116. Sir, I eat when I get nervous, Sir.Copy !req
117. So you like Thanksgiving dinner?Copy !req
118. Well, from now on, you will be
eating Thanksgiving dinner 24/7!Copy !req
119. All the weight I gained sort
of affected my performance.Copy !req
120. These men are dead because of you!Copy !req
121. Now eat! They paid for it. You eat it.Copy !req
122. And I've had a slight
weight problem ever since.Copy !req
123. That man ruined my life.Copy !req
124. Oh, your life's not so bad. You work here.Copy !req
125. This should go up nice and quick. Whoosh!Copy !req
126. Hey, Denzel.
I just want to apologize for earlier.Copy !req
127. I don't know what it's like to
be in your shoes. We okay now?Copy !req
128. - Yeah, we cool.
- Oh, and I got you this.Copy !req
129. It's a pimp cup. It seemed weird
that you didn't already have one.Copy !req
130. - You did not just give me a pimp cup.
- What? You don't like it?Copy !req
131. Yeah, of course I like it.
But that's beside the point.Copy !req
132. To your right, Mr.
Secretary of the Interior,Copy !req
133. you'll see that the
mountains are still there.Copy !req
134. - Feel free to count them.
- Hmm.Copy !req
135. Does that bear have a pilot's license?Copy !req
136. No, but don't worry.
I'm not as drunk as he is.Copy !req
137. Ooh, a fire.Copy !req
138. Can you believe the luck?
Hold onto your hat. This might be heroic.Copy !req
139. Just have to hit the water drop button.Copy !req
140. Poom!Copy !req
141. - That was the fuel dump button!
- Whoops.Copy !req
142. You think all black people
walk around with pimp cups?Copy !req
143. - I thought you were smarter than that.
- That's unfair!Copy !req
144. What have I ever done to make you
think I'm smarter than that?Copy !req
145. - Wait, is that gas?
- You're right. Holy cow!Copy !req
146. It's raining gas. We're gonna be rich!Copy !req
147. Ste-Zel.Copy !req
148. Man. What happened?Copy !req
149. Just relax now. You've both suffered
fourth- and fifth-degree burns.Copy !req
150. You did very well in surgery,
but I'm afraid thereCopy !req
151. was a teensy, tiny mistake
with the skin grafts.Copy !req
152. Mistake? Wait, wait, wait.
What kind of mistake?Copy !req
153. I went ahead and took 3% off your bill.Copy !req
154. Whenever you're ready.Copy !req
155. White? Why the hell am I white?Copy !req
156. Hey, honest mix-up.
You were both burnt to a crisp.Copy !req
157. We knew that one of you
was African-American,Copy !req
158. and your friend was the
one holding the pimp cup.Copy !req
159. That was all the evidence we needed.Copy !req
160. Isn't this great, Denzel?Copy !req
161. I get a chance to experience
life the way you do,Copy !req
162. and you get to discover how
lame it is to be white.Copy !req
163. I already know it's lame
to be white, Steve!Copy !req
164. Ah, from now on, I'm black Steve.Copy !req
165. - I'm not gonna call you black Steve.
- Ah, you just did.Copy !req
166. - Holler.
- Ugh.Copy !req
167. Doc, look. You got to get me back into
some beautiful black skin, right now.Copy !req
168. Ooh, smallish problem. We're all out.Copy !req
169. Your friend, black Steve, is very fat.Copy !req
170. Aw, man, I can't be white.
Anything but white.Copy !req
171. Tell you what, I've got a roll of
Mexican I've been trying to get rid of.Copy !req
172. No, no, no. White is fine. Thank you.Copy !req
173. As any numb nuts can see, the cause
of the fire was not natural.Copy !req
174. I'm certain we are dealing with
something far more sinister.Copy !req
175. Arson.Copy !req
176. What kind of depraved monster
would do something like this?Copy !req
177. Hmm, for some reason, I have
the feeling he has a mustache.Copy !req
178. Most arsonists have a mustache.Copy !req
179. Mustache? Arsonist?Copy !req
180. Very funny, Malloy.Copy !req
181. You little bastard.Copy !req
182. My hand to heaven, whoever's behind
this is gonna get the chair!Copy !req
183. Hey! I know you.Copy !req
184. - No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.Copy !req
185. You are that man hooker in
Hanoi that I went down on.Copy !req
186. That's right.
I'm a male prostitute from Hanoi.Copy !req
187. - Thanks for going down on me.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
188. Woo, you put on a couple pounds,
didn't you, Phuong Kim?Copy !req
189. Wait. You're not vietnamese.Copy !req
190. Now I remember you!Copy !req
191. You are that waste of space
that washed out of my program.Copy !req
192. I knew that you would wind up
in a garbage dump like this.Copy !req
193. Who's the nerd?Copy !req
194. Malloy, I know he looks like a lame,
white douche, but it's Denzel.Copy !req
195. Hey, no matter what color
I am on the outside,Copy !req
196. on the inside, I'll always
be a dignified black man.Copy !req
197. That makes two of us.Copy !req
198. - What's up, niggers?
- What? Niggers?Copy !req
199. Oh, hell no.Copy !req
200. You ain't allowed to say our
word, you white bread cracker.Copy !req
201. See, Denzel, when Steve says
it, it's empowering and cool,Copy !req
202. when we say it, it's a slur.Copy !req
203. We? Are you crazy? I'm black!Copy !req
204. - No, not really.
- Not so much.Copy !req
205. - You watch your mouth, white boy.
- Hey!Copy !req
206. See? Don't make black
Steve have to pop off!Copy !req
207. Stop talking like that.Copy !req
208. - Back up, back up! Back that ass up!
- Fellas! We don't need a race riot here.Copy !req
209. But if we have one, I'd
like you to know right nowCopy !req
210. that I'm siding with the blacks.Copy !req
211. I'm sure baby powder over here didn't
mean anything by it, black Steve.Copy !req
212. Stop calling him black Steve!Copy !req
213. You need to be cool like menthol's,
relaxed like Jheri Curl, baby.Copy !req
214. Listen, Woodrow, black
Steve's gots to bounce.Copy !req
215. I need to adjust to the
dubious ramifications,Copy !req
216. of my unexpected color-ification.Copy !req
217. - Malloy, translation.
- He wants the day off because he's black.Copy !req
218. - Sounds fair.
- A day off sounds like a good idea.Copy !req
219. I think I need some
counseling or some shit.Copy !req
220. Denied! You've got work to do, Snowflake.Copy !req
221. Aw, man. This sucks.Copy !req
222. Huh. We need to get you a new look.Copy !req
223. Jive turkey.Copy !req
224. Word up.Copy !req
225. Hmm, how about a retro look?Copy !req
226. Swing low...Copy !req
227. Sweet chariot...Copy !req
228. Hmm. I like it, but I need
a style that's all my own.Copy !req
229. That's it.Copy !req
230. Wow. Who are you?Copy !req
231. - Black Steve, baby.
- Do you mind if I touch your hair?Copy !req
232. Not at all.Copy !req
233. See, Denzel! There's no racism.Copy !req
234. - These people love me.
- You look dumb as hell.Copy !req
235. Well, might as well embrace my new culture.Copy !req
236. Bikram yoga.Copy !req
237. Babybjorn.Copy !req
238. Arcade Fire.Copy !req
239. Gluten-free.Copy !req
240. Ah!Copy !req
241. Bro, you forgot your...Copy !req
242. Caramel Macchiato.Copy !req
243. I can't take being white!
I got to get back to my roots.Copy !req
244. Nah, look out! He's gonna grab you!Copy !req
245. Hey, reading rainbow!
Don't let them put you on that slave ship!Copy !req
246. - What are you two doing?
- And let the nagging begin.Copy !req
247. I don't nag. I'm sick and tired
of you saying that I nag.Copy !req
248. Oh, great. Now I sound like a nag.Copy !req
249. - More like a bitch.
- Will you pipe down?Copy !req
250. I'm trying to spy on Sanders.Copy !req
251. He's got the arson evidence in his cabin.Copy !req
252. Good. I hope that pathetic dickhole fries.Copy !req
253. I am the dickhole who ordered that fire!Copy !req
254. - Mm-hmm. That changes nothing.
- Hey, this affects you too, Ethel.Copy !req
255. If the FBI traces it back
to Denzel and Steve,Copy !req
256. all three of us would go up the
river and you'll be out of a job.Copy !req
257. I'll be homeless.Copy !req
258. Steve will be getting
sodomized in the (Bleep)Hole.Copy !req
259. Oddly, that's a push.Copy !req
260. I need to steal that evidence.Copy !req
261. But Sanders is a pro.
Only a ninja could get past him.Copy !req
262. Yeah, I know. Too bad Denzel's white now.Copy !req
263. I said "ninja."Copy !req
264. We don't have a ninja, but
we do have a Navy Seal.Copy !req
265. I won't do it.Copy !req
266. Oh, so I guess you don't
want to keep your job.Copy !req
267. Eh.Copy !req
268. Don't you want to keep Woody out of jail?Copy !req
269. Stupid question.Copy !req
270. Connie, think about it, this is the
Seal mission you never got to perform.Copy !req
271. You'll finally have the chance to prove
to him that you do have what it takes.Copy !req
272. Prove to who? Kirk Sanders?Copy !req
273. Kirk Sanders?Copy !req
274. I love doing that to her.Copy !req
275. Black Steve, you're my hero.
Look over here, black Steve.Copy !req
276. Yoo-hoo, black Steve.Copy !req
277. What seems to be the problem, bacon grease?Copy !req
278. Your brake lights are out
and your tags are expired.Copy !req
279. - And?
- Look, I'm almost done with my shift.Copy !req
280. I'm just gonna let you off with a warning.Copy !req
281. A warning? Oh, I see how it is.Copy !req
282. A black man can't get a ticket, huh?Copy !req
283. Denzel was right. Racism is real.Copy !req
284. Well, Whitey just pissed
off the wrong brother.Copy !req
285. Ass-salami steak 'ums, my brothers,
this morning, I was a black man,Copy !req
286. but now, I'm an angry black man.Copy !req
287. I was the victim of police
discrimination and humiliation.Copy !req
288. They refused to give me a ticket
because of the color of my skin.Copy !req
289. I'm confused by your message.Copy !req
290. - I can't believe people are buying this.
- Well, I'm lost.Copy !req
291. First you were mad that Steve
didn't think there was racism,Copy !req
292. now you're mad that he does.Copy !req
293. He got off with a warning.Copy !req
294. Take it easy, egg white.Copy !req
295. - We need to support black Steve.
- Man, whatever.Copy !req
296. I said to myself, "black Steve,
it's time to take a stand."Copy !req
297. Like when Harriet Tubman
blew up the challenger.Copy !req
298. - All right. All right.
- Ah, my longtime friend, Denzel.Copy !req
299. I'm not your friend. I hate you.Copy !req
300. This man does not represent the black race!Copy !req
301. What does he know about the black race?
He's not even black.Copy !req
302. I am black, bitch!Copy !req
303. Take your hands off me, you white devil!Copy !req
304. Well Connie, it's go time. Now get psyched.Copy !req
305. - Hooyah, hooyah, hooyah!
- Ow! You broke my goddamn nose!Copy !req
306. Warning. I only got a warning.Copy !req
307. Let's break down that word.Copy !req
308. Warn... to give notice,
advice, or intimidation!Copy !req
309. Ing.Copy !req
310. I do not know what "ing" means, but
if I had to guess, I'd say it meansCopy !req
311. "(bleep) Black people!"Copy !req
312. Man, I am sick of that race-baiting idiot.Copy !req
313. Now, Denzel, we need to put
ourselves in his shoes.Copy !req
314. - We don't know his struggles.
- He's only been black for a week.Copy !req
315. It might have been a tough week.
We don't know.Copy !req
316. Wow, you guys are tolerant.
Maybe I misjudged this town.Copy !req
317. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just because we talk like Morons,Copy !req
318. don't mean we ain't got a nuanced
understanding of social justice.Copy !req
319. Personally, I always thought this
town could use a few more synagogues.Copy !req
320. All right, I get it, but black
Steve don't bother you at all?Copy !req
321. I can relate to his message.Copy !req
322. We didn't land on Fraggle Rock,
Fraggle Rock landed on us.Copy !req
323. Aw, man.Copy !req
324. There's got to be a way
to teach Steve a lesson.Copy !req
325. That's it. Hey, guys.Copy !req
326. You want to help me play
a joke on my friend?Copy !req
327. What kind of joke?Copy !req
328. Man, come on now.
Don't y'all have white sheets?Copy !req
329. That was a white sheet.Copy !req
330. I'm a bit of a bed wetter.Copy !req
331. Ugh.Copy !req
332. All right, guys. Now look.
We're not gonna hurt him.Copy !req
333. We'll just give him a good scare, okay?Copy !req
334. Yee-haw!Copy !req
335. Ow, ow, ow, ow! Come on, boys.Copy !req
336. We gonna catch us a black Steve.Copy !req
337. Yee-haw!Copy !req
338. Where ya headed boy?Copy !req
339. I'm off to the square
glasses and bow tie store.Copy !req
340. - Get him!
- Unhand me at once!Copy !req
341. - Who are you?
- We the KKK, bitch.Copy !req
342. Triple "K"? I thought you guys just
provided emergency road services.Copy !req
343. Ah!Copy !req
344. You can do this, Connie.Copy !req
345. Thank you, Ethel. Kiss for good luck?Copy !req
346. No.Copy !req
347. Fingerblast?Copy !req
348. Okay, I'm going.Copy !req
349. I did it. Take that, Sanders.Copy !req
350. What's going on? This thing is supposed
to be able to hoist a Sherman tank.Copy !req
351. Uh-oh, Ethel. I shouldn't have
eaten those deviled eggs.Copy !req
352. What?Copy !req
353. What the... aah! Mustard gas!Copy !req
354. Ethel! Help!Copy !req
355. Well, what do we have here?
A flying humpback whale?Copy !req
356. I'm not flying.Copy !req
357. So trying to pull a cover-up, are you?Copy !req
358. You are way out of your league,
you disgusting fat-ass!Copy !req
359. Whoa. Whoa.Copy !req
360. Whoa.Copy !req
361. You will never amount to anything.Copy !req
362. Because you are a fat piece of...Copy !req
363. Shiii...!Copy !req
364. Oh...Copy !req
365. Oh, Jesus! He's dead.Copy !req
366. You know what this means?Copy !req
367. I completed a mission.
I can be a Navy Seal.Copy !req
368. - No fingerblast, Connie.
- Aw.Copy !req
369. - What are you gonna do to me?
- Oh, I think you know.Copy !req
370. Oh, God. Being black isn't
so much fun anymore.Copy !req
371. That's right. It's not all pimp cups
and bitches is it, black Steve?Copy !req
372. Up here's a clearing.
It's the perfect spot for a...Copy !req
373. Klan rally!Copy !req
374. Oh, shit.Copy !req
375. Hey, brothers. Welcome.
Better late than never.Copy !req
376. I love the new outfits. Very 2012.Copy !req
377. Oh, you know what?
We left our giant rebel flag in the truck.Copy !req
378. Oh, we got extras.
Looks like you brought us a present.Copy !req
379. Oh, my God.Copy !req
380. Is that black Steve Williams,
the civil rights leader?Copy !req
381. You guys are all right. Grab him.Copy !req
382. Wait, everybody.
Are you sure you want to do this?Copy !req
383. Absolutely. Any last words?Copy !req
384. I just have a message
for my friend, Denzel.Copy !req
385. I just want to say I'm sorry.Copy !req
386. Now, ho... ho... ho... ho... hold on.
I can't remember all that.Copy !req
387. Somebody get me an ink pen.Copy !req
388. All right. Start over.Copy !req
389. I'm sorry about...Copy !req
390. "I'm sorry about..."Copy !req
391. "Forgive me, I love you, see you in hell".Copy !req
392. Blah, blah, blah. Close enough.
Let's kill him.Copy !req
393. - Stop right there!
- Denzel?Copy !req
394. That man right there is white.Copy !req
395. There was a surgical mix-up.Copy !req
396. I am the black man.Copy !req
397. - He's what?
- My goodness.Copy !req
398. You mean we almost hung a white
man because he has black skin?Copy !req
399. Color really is only skin deep.
It doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
400. Aw, man, that's great. You serious?Copy !req
401. Hell no. Hang 'em both!Copy !req
402. Looks like this is it, bro.
At least we're going out together.Copy !req
403. Ste-Zel to the end.Copy !req
404. I feel the same way, brother, but I
don't care much for your KKK friends.Copy !req
405. Ready? On three. One, two...Copy !req
406. Hold on.Copy !req
407. It's raining gas, boys!Copy !req
408. We're gonna be rich!Copy !req
409. Ah, damn it, I meant to
hit the body dump button!Copy !req
410. Ah, here we go. Poom!Copy !req
411. Ah, it's gonna be great being black again.Copy !req
412. And although I'll be white Steve,
I won't be the same Steve.Copy !req
413. I'll be more mature and sensitive.Copy !req
414. Well, friends, there's
something I need to tell you.Copy !req
415. - We both Mexican, ain't we?
- How'd you guess?Copy !req
416. Andale, andale! A-yi, yi, yi, yi, ya!Copy !req
417. Would you like to buy some oranges?Copy !req
418. Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
www.Addic7ed.Com.Copy !req