1. Hey.Copy !req
2. You...Copy !req
3. You selling?Copy !req
4. I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
5. Okay. That's cool.Copy !req
6. I'm just saying, you know,
if you were selling...Copy !req
7. I could maybe do with a teenth.Copy !req
8. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
9. Dude, I so smell bacon.Copy !req
10. What? What are you talking about?Copy !req
11. Oh, gee, I don't know.Copy !req
12. How about over there.
That brown van.Copy !req
13. That's yours, right?Copy !req
14. What brown van?Copy !req
15. Parked all inconspicuous.Copy !req
16. It's a cop van.Copy !req
17. Yeah, another one right over there.Copy !req
18. "Duke City Flowers"? Come on.Copy !req
19. Can't you at least be original?Copy !req
20. Dude, I just wanna get high.Copy !req
21. A flower van.Copy !req
22. You know what you should do
is a garbage truck.Copy !req
23. Seriously,
and I don't mean to disrespect...Copy !req
24. but if you put cops
in the back of a garbage truck...Copy !req
25. there's no way
I'm seriously thinking...Copy !req
26. that there's cops
in the back of a garbage truck.Copy !req
27. It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it.Copy !req
28. Think about it, boys.Copy !req
29. All right. I'm hitting it.Copy !req
30. You dudes give up that easy?Copy !req
31. I'm not a cop.Copy !req
32. Then lift your shirt.
Show me you're not wearing a wire.Copy !req
33. All right, you know what?Copy !req
34. Just to show you
you're being an asshole.Copy !req
35. I'm blinded by white.Copy !req
36. Douchebag.Copy !req
37. Come on. I was joking. Come on.Copy !req
38. Don't walk away angry.
Sit down. Come on.Copy !req
39. I mean,
what are you complaining about?Copy !req
40. You got abs, man. Kind of.Copy !req
41. Whatever, dude.Copy !req
42. I'm not even sure
I wanna buy any more.Copy !req
43. I think you turned me off
to the whole thing.Copy !req
44. Come on. Don't be like that.Copy !req
45. I just need you to prove it,
you know?Copy !req
46. Prove you're not a cop.Copy !req
47. How the hell
am I supposed to do that?Copy !req
48. I don't know.Copy !req
49. Hey, I got it. Go over there
and punch that dude right in the face.Copy !req
50. Which dude?Copy !req
51. - That dude?
- Yeah.Copy !req
52. No way. He'd kick my ass.Copy !req
53. True that.Copy !req
54. This is so hard, you know?Copy !req
55. I know.Copy !req
56. It's simple.Copy !req
57. If you ask a cop if he's a cop,
he's, like, obligated to tell you.Copy !req
58. It's in the Constitution.Copy !req
59. Constitution of America?Copy !req
60. So go ahead and ask.Copy !req
61. - You a cop?
- No, no. Not like that.Copy !req
62. Ask it, like, official.Copy !req
63. Are you a police officer?Copy !req
64. No, I am not a police officer.Copy !req
65. Okay, then. Hundred
and seventy-five for a teenth.Copy !req
66. The price is the price, yo.Copy !req
67. All right.Copy !req
68. There you go. Enjoy.Copy !req
69. Thanks, man.Copy !req
70. Albuquerque Police! You're
under arrest! Get down on the ground!Copy !req
71. Get on your stomach now!
On your stomach. Get on the ground!Copy !req
72. - Hold it right there. Don't move.
- Stay down.Copy !req
73. I had a good job
until my boss accused me of stealing.Copy !req
74. I better call Saul.Copy !req
75. I was out partying,
minding my own business...Copy !req
76. - You are under arrest.
- I better call Saul.Copy !req
77. Hi. I'm Saul Goodman.Copy !req
78. Did you know that you have rights?Copy !req
79. The Constitution says you do.
And so do I.Copy !req
80. I believe that until proven guilty...Copy !req
81. every man, woman,
and child in this country is innocent.Copy !req
82. And that's why I fight for you,
Albuquerque.Copy !req
83. Better call Saul.Copy !req
84. Saul Goodman, attorney at law,
505-164-CALL.Copy !req
85. That's 505- 164-CALLCopy !req
86. I really need to get some furniture.Copy !req
87. I suggest you start with a bed.Copy !req
88. God, I wish we could smoke in here.Copy !req
89. - Well, you can't.
- Yeah, no. I know.Copy !req
90. I'm just saying.Copy !req
91. Don't think I can't smell that weed.Copy !req
92. You better seriously hope
that airs out.Copy !req
93. My dad will keep
your security deposit.Copy !req
94. He has a nose
like a damn bloodhound.Copy !req
95. Yeah?Copy !req
96. Has he ever caught you?Copy !req
97. Yeah. Many times.Copy !req
98. Well, listen.Copy !req
99. Since I already lost my deposit
and all...Copy !req
100. maybe we should light up.Copy !req
101. No, thanks.Copy !req
102. You sure?Copy !req
103. Well, is it cool if I burn one?Copy !req
104. Maybe you'll change your mind.Copy !req
105. Do what you wanna do, I guess.Copy !req
106. Hey. What'd I say?Copy !req
107. Nothing.Copy !req
108. I just have to go is all.Copy !req
109. What's this?Copy !req
110. My 18-month chip.Copy !req
111. I'm in recovery.Copy !req
112. And, you know,
pot is like stepping stones.Copy !req
113. Recovery? That's cool.Copy !req
114. Right on.Copy !req
115. I respect that.Copy !req
116. You know,
I don't really burn much any more.Copy !req
117. It's just a sometime thing.Copy !req
118. But no more, like, in the house.Copy !req
119. So you wanna go grab
some dinner?Copy !req
120. I could really go for some Chinese.Copy !req
121. No, I better hit it.Copy !req
122. We...Copy !req
123. We cool?Copy !req
124. Your satellite is on, by the way.Copy !req
125. That screen is badass.Copy !req
126. I just think it's asking a lot.Copy !req
127. He knows it.Copy !req
128. He's done nothing but apologize.Copy !req
129. Is this gonna be
every weekend now?Copy !req
130. No. It's just the end of the quarter.
You remember how that was.Copy !req
131. But I am earning double time,
so there's a bright side.Copy !req
132. So when the laziest boy
in the world wakes up...Copy !req
133. tell him he better wash
those sneakers.Copy !req
134. And I said bye.Copy !req
135. And tell him
to let them air-dry this time.Copy !req
136. I don't want him
banging the hell out of my dryer.Copy !req
137. What?Copy !req
138. What, you don't even get
casual Saturday?Copy !req
139. I mean...Copy !req
140. No, it's just you...Copy !req
141. You look nice is all.Copy !req
142. It's work, Walt.
And everybody is gonna be there.Copy !req
143. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
144. Maybe we'll order a pizza tonight?Copy !req
145. Okay.Copy !req
146. - Bye.
- Bye.Copy !req
147. Hi. You've reached Walt,
Skyler and Walter, Jr.Copy !req
148. Please leave a message,
and we'll get back to you.Copy !req
149. Skyler? Are you there?
I don't know what to do.Copy !req
150. I... I need to talk to you. ICopy !req
151. Hey, Marie. It's me. What's up?Copy !req
152. Yesterday I got home
and found him.Copy !req
153. He didn't even tell me
he was coming.Copy !req
154. - A man was killed?
- A Federale, right in front of him.Copy !req
155. Three agents wounded,
one lost his leg.Copy !req
156. It's like what you hear about
from Iraq or something.Copy !req
157. - The IlEDs.
- Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
158. I had to hear about it
from Steve Gomez.Copy !req
159. Hank talked to his ASAC
for about an hour.Copy !req
160. Hank could win an Oscar.
He's so damn breezy with the man.Copy !req
161. He hangs up the phone,
goes right back to bed.Copy !req
162. And all he keeps saying is,
"I'm fine. I'm fine. Leave me alone."Copy !req
163. Baby, not now.Copy !req
164. It's— It's me, Hank. Sorry.Copy !req
165. Hey, buddy. What's...?Copy !req
166. What's up?Copy !req
167. I just...Copy !req
168. Do you mind if I...Copy !req
169. 80...Copy !req
170. How you doing?Copy !req
171. Oh, you know, lousy.Copy !req
172. Montezuma's revenge, big time.Copy !req
173. I mean, everything's going through me
like crap through a tinhorn.Copy !req
174. Better not get too close.Copy !req
175. Well, I'll take my chances.Copy !req
176. I guess you heard about
what happened down in Juarez?Copy !req
177. Terrible.Copy !req
178. What do you expect?
Bunch of freaking animals.Copy !req
179. It's like Apocalypse Now
down there.Copy !req
180. It's like Colonel Kurtz
holed up in his jungle.Copy !req
181. And my SAC in El Paso
sends me home.Copy !req
182. Now, that's a sound leadership
decision right there, huh?Copy !req
183. You know, you don't put
your second most senior man...Copy !req
184. on the trail
of those motherless bastards...Copy !req
185. you send him home.Copy !req
186. I was, you know,
"He's out getting an evidence bag...Copy !req
187. and so ends up
without a scratch on him.Copy !req
188. So must be something wrong
with that picture, you know."Copy !req
189. So are you home for good then?Copy !req
190. No, no. it's...Copy !req
191. Playing it by ear. To be determined.Copy !req
192. Think you might wanna talk it through
with somebody?Copy !req
193. What, a shrink?
No, no, no. Can't go down that road.Copy !req
194. Start going down that road,
kiss your career goodbye.Copy !req
195. Or Marie. Or me, if you like.Copy !req
196. You know, I don't know
how to say this. I...Copy !req
197. You know, the things I deal with...Copy !req
198. you and me don't have
much of a—Copy !req
199. What you might call
"an experiential overlap."Copy !req
200. What if I told you we do?Copy !req
201. I have spent my whole life scared.Copy !req
202. Frightened of things
that could happen...Copy !req
203. might happen, might not happen.Copy !req
204. Fifty years I spent like that.Copy !req
205. Finding myself awake
at 3 in the morning.Copy !req
206. But you know what?Copy !req
207. Ever since my diagnosis...Copy !req
208. I sleep just fine.Copy !req
209. Okay.Copy !req
210. And I came to realize
it's that fear that's the worst of it.Copy !req
211. That's the real enemy.Copy !req
212. 80...Copy !req
213. Get up.Copy !req
214. Get out in the real world.Copy !req
215. And you kick that bastard
as hard as you can right in the teeth.Copy !req
216. Do it again. Go on.Copy !req
217. Ten thousand even, same as last time.
It's totally accurate.Copy !req
218. You and I,
we are gonna feed this machine.Copy !req
219. - I want it running 24 hours a day.
- Right on.Copy !req
220. Not yours, I take it.Copy !req
221. We got 10, 20, 30...Copy !req
222. 44, five each.Copy !req
223. Three pounds should be 48 each.Copy !req
224. Who's short?Copy !req
225. All right. Don't freak, all right?
We didn't get ripped off.Copy !req
226. But Badger hasn't kicked in
his full amount.Copy !req
227. I know he was planning on pulling
an all-nighter...Copy !req
228. so he's probably still in the sack.Copy !req
229. Then wake him up.
He can sleep after we're paid.Copy !req
230. Why you gotta be such a hard-on?Copy !req
231. You're not his pal. You're his boss.Copy !req
232. This only works when
they're scared of you, remember?Copy !req
233. Jack off.Copy !req
234. It's going straight to voice-mail.Copy !req
235. Voicemail?Copy !req
236. Just chill, okay? Count your money.Copy !req
237. - Combo.
- Yo, what's up?Copy !req
238. You seen Badger?Copy !req
239. Don't you cover for him, bitch.Copy !req
240. I ask you a straight-up question,
I expect a straight-up answer.Copy !req
241. Well?Copy !req
242. They were too scared to tell me.Copy !req
243. Badger got busted.Copy !req
244. He's in jail.Copy !req
245. Honey, I'm home!Copy !req
246. Too slow! What's up?Copy !req
247. Got more lives than a damn cat.Copy !req
248. Now if I could only learn
to lick myself.Copy !req
249. What's up, guys? Good to see you.
Good to see you. Good to see you.Copy !req
250. All right. Let's all get back to work,
for chrissake, okay?Copy !req
251. In my office, man. Let's see
what you bozos been up to lately.Copy !req
252. You okay?Copy !req
253. Hanging in?Copy !req
254. What's it look like?Copy !req
255. - What's this from A.P.D.?
- Been checking with them to see...Copy !req
256. if they come across
that famous blue meth of yours.Copy !req
257. Sure enough, last night.Copy !req
258. Got themselves
an honest-to-God dealer.Copy !req
259. I was thinking of cruising over
and saying hello.Copy !req
260. Maybe you'd like to go with me?Copy !req
261. Yeah. Well, all right.Copy !req
262. You told me to my face
you weren't a cop, man.Copy !req
263. I feel manipulated.Copy !req
264. Thought we were gonna hang out.Copy !req
265. We are hanging out, Badger.Copy !req
266. You like Badger or Brandon?Copy !req
267. I like people who don't, like,
abuse the Constitution.Copy !req
268. Badger, listen.Copy !req
269. Hey.Copy !req
270. I'm trying to help you here, man.Copy !req
271. Now, if you just tell me
who your supplier is...Copy !req
272. I think this can end
very well for you.Copy !req
273. What're you doing, detective, talking
to my client without me present?Copy !req
274. You sneaky Pete.Copy !req
275. Which is Which?Copy !req
276. What, did the academy hire you
right out of the womb?Copy !req
277. You guys get younger every-Copy !req
278. What'd you say to baby face?Copy !req
279. Did you say anything stupid?Copy !req
280. By "anything stupid,"
I mean anything at all.Copy !req
281. Look at you.
Mouth open, vocal chords a-twitter.Copy !req
282. We'll talk about it later.
Right now, you out.Copy !req
283. Ten minutes ago. Go on.
There are laws, detective.Copy !req
284. Have your kindergarten teacher
read them to you.Copy !req
285. Go grab a juice box.
Have a nap. Go on.Copy !req
286. All right.Copy !req
287. Who do we have?Copy !req
288. Brandon Mayhew.Copy !req
289. Brandon Mayhew. All right.Copy !req
290. Brandon Mayhew.Copy !req
291. - Here we go. Public masturbation.
- What?Copy !req
292. I don't get it. What's the kick?
Why don't you do it at home...Copy !req
293. with a big flat-screen TV,
50 channels of pay-per-view?Copy !req
294. In a Starbucks. That's nice.Copy !req
295. That ain't me, man. I...Copy !req
296. I was the guy who was selling meth.
Allegedly.Copy !req
297. Okay. All right. I got you.
Meth. Right.Copy !req
298. Sorry, that was a little
transpositional error.Copy !req
299. Nothing a little Wite-Out
can't take care of.Copy !req
300. Yeah, and felony quantity.Copy !req
301. - Just barely.
- Yeah, just barely.Copy !req
302. The cops are like butchers.
Always got their thumbs on the scales.Copy !req
303. But good luck arguing that in court.Copy !req
304. Let me get down to brass tacks.Copy !req
305. I'm gonna get you
a second phone call.Copy !req
306. You're gonna call
your mommy or your daddy...Copy !req
307. or your parish priest
or your Boy Scout leader...Copy !req
308. and they're gonna
deliver me a check for $4650.Copy !req
309. I'm gonna write that down
on the back of my business card.Copy !req
310. Four-six-five-zero. Okay?Copy !req
311. And I need that in a cashier's check
or a money order, doesn't matter.Copy !req
312. Actually, I want it in a money order.Copy !req
313. And make it out to
Ice Station Zebra AssociatesCopy !req
314. That's my loan-out. It's totally legit.Copy !req
315. It's done just for tax purposes.Copy !req
316. And after that,
we can discuss Visa or MasterCard...Copy !req
317. but definitely not American Express,
so don't even ask. All right?Copy !req
318. Any questions?Copy !req
319. You're gonna get me off, right?Copy !req
320. What do I look like, your high-school
girlfriend? Five fingers, no waiting?Copy !req
321. That's a joke, Brandon. Lighten up.Copy !req
322. Son, I promise you this.Copy !req
323. I will give you
the best criminal defense...Copy !req
324. that money can buy.Copy !req
325. Yeah, but, Francesca,
I took these already.Copy !req
326. Didn't I take these already?Copy !req
327. It's on your head. You're not
supposed to double up on vitamin A.Copy !req
328. It's bad for the liver.Copy !req
329. Okay, who's next?Copy !req
330. Did him. I did him.Copy !req
331. That one went public defender.
Thanks for nothing.Copy !req
332. What happened to my masturbator?
You got me all turned around.Copy !req
333. Hang on. I'll get back to you.Copy !req
334. I sense you're discussing my client.
Anything you care to share with me?Copy !req
335. Sure. Your commercials?
They suck ass.Copy !req
336. I've seen better acting
in an epileptic whorehouse.Copy !req
337. Is that like the one
your mom works at?Copy !req
338. Is she still offering
the two-for-one discount?Copy !req
339. DEA, huh? For a street bust.Copy !req
340. Now, what would two feds
want with that little twerp?Copy !req
341. Sooner or later,
this was gonna happen.Copy !req
342. You want your exponential growth...Copy !req
343. guys are gonna get busted.
Simple as that.Copy !req
344. How about we get him a real attorney?
What the hell is this?Copy !req
345. This is who he hires?Copy !req
346. What? Are you kidding me?
This is the guy you want.Copy !req
347. This is the guy I'd hire.Copy !req
348. It's the guy you'd hire.Copy !req
349. Look, you remember Emilio?Copy !req
350. Okay, this dude got Emilio off,
like, twice. Okay?Copy !req
351. Both times, they had him
dead to rights, yo. And then, poof.Copy !req
352. Dude is like Houdini.Copy !req
353. Seriously,
when the going gets tough...Copy !req
354. you don't want a criminal lawyer.Copy !req
355. You want a "criminal" lawyer.Copy !req
356. Know what I'm saying?Copy !req
357. Look, we're in good shape,
Mr. White.Copy !req
358. Badger is way too loyal to roll.Copy !req
359. Plus, he's scared shitless of me,
all right.Copy !req
360. We pay four large. Cost of business.
Take it out of his payroll.Copy !req
361. And it's only his first dealing rap...Copy !req
362. so, worst-case scenario,
you know, they plead him out.Copy !req
363. He does five months picking up litter
in an orange jump suit.Copy !req
364. So who goes inside?
I don't need them seeing my face.Copy !req
365. Well, I don't need them
seeing my face.Copy !req
366. Why not'?
You look like his typical clientele.Copy !req
367. Dick.Copy !req
368. Fine.Copy !req
369. We'll flip for it, all right? Call it.Copy !req
370. Heads.Copy !req
371. Mayhew? Mr. Mayhew?Copy !req
372. Mr. Mayhew.Copy !req
373. Nice of you to come down. Please.Copy !req
374. Look at you.Copy !req
375. Should I call the FBI
and tell them I found D.B. Cooper?Copy !req
376. Joking.Copy !req
377. L— Please, come on.Copy !req
378. Come on. Please.Copy !req
379. Hello.Copy !req
380. Saul Goodman. Please sit.Copy !req
381. So it's a shame that we have to meet
under these circumstances.Copy !req
382. I believe you have
something for me?Copy !req
383. Oh, yes.Copy !req
384. - Mayhew. Is that Irish or English?
- Irish.Copy !req
385. Faith and begorra.
A fellow potato-eater.Copy !req
386. My real name is McGill.Copy !req
387. The Jew thing
I just do for the homeboys.Copy !req
388. They all want a pipe-hitting member
of the tribe, so to speak.Copy !req
389. I digress.
Good things are happening.Copy !req
390. Fact is, your nephew is gonna
get out in no time.Copy !req
391. That's wonderful, yeah.Copy !req
392. There's still a few details
to be ironed out...Copy !req
393. but now that the DEA
is involved...Copy !req
394. I think he's looking
at time served, then probation.Copy !req
395. So leave your number with Francesca,
and we'll be in touch.Copy !req
396. - Excuse me, the DEA?
- Yeah.Copy !req
397. That's the Drug Enforcement
Administration. The feds.Copy !req
398. I hope that I'm not
the breaker of bad news...Copy !req
399. but your nephew got mixed up
with some pretty nasty customers.Copy !req
400. I understand that.Copy !req
401. What does that have
to do with the DEA?Copy !req
402. They're after some mystery man...Copy !req
403. some heavy-hitter
that goes by the name Heisenberg.Copy !req
404. They want this guy
like the ax wants the turkey.Copy !req
405. Seems young Brandon
may have information...Copy !req
406. that could lead to his arrest.Copy !req
407. Jesus, cheer up.
This is good news.Copy !req
408. I mean, Brandon fell head-first
into the doo-doo pile...Copy !req
409. and came up
smelling like Paco Rabanne.Copy !req
410. Wait, wait. Look, I just... I think...Copy !req
411. I just think that we should
review our options.Copy !req
412. Options?Copy !req
413. I'm gonna tell you
what your options are.Copy !req
414. You got a grand total of two.
Option A: Brandon takes the deal.Copy !req
415. Option B:
Brandon goes up to the penitentiary...Copy !req
416. and gets his rectum
resized about yay big.Copy !req
417. Look, look. What about reprisals?Copy !req
418. I mean, if Badger—Copy !req
419. If Brandon informs
on this Heisenberg...Copy !req
420. I mean, what if, God forbid...Copy !req
421. that they decide to take revenge?Copy !req
422. What have you been telling him?Copy !req
423. The kid keeps spouting off about,
"if I talk, they'll kill me."Copy !req
424. Right now, he's the only thing
holding up this deal.Copy !req
425. - Good.
- No, that's not good. That's terrible.Copy !req
426. Trust me, sir, your nephew
won't last in prison two weeks.Copy !req
427. You let him take his chances
on the outside.Copy !req
428. Maybe I can work
in some witness protection.Copy !req
429. No, look, look.
These are vicious, desperate people.Copy !req
430. I've been told that
one of them killed another man...Copy !req
431. by crushing his head
with an ATM machine.Copy !req
432. People love to take credit
for the fun ones.Copy !req
433. The guy who got his head smooshed
used to be a client of mine.Copy !req
434. His wife killed him, all right?
It was open and shut.Copy !req
435. Trust me, you folks have
nothing to worry about, okay?Copy !req
436. I'm gonna set your nephew straight,
get him singing like a canary...Copy !req
437. all's right with the world.Copy !req
438. Ten thousand dollars.Copy !req
439. Ten thousand, cash to you.Copy !req
440. I'm not saying to throw the case.Copy !req
441. Just no talking to the DEA.Copy !req
442. Are you saying
what I think you're saying?Copy !req
443. Yes.Copy !req
444. What's it going to be?Copy !req
445. What, dude wouldn't take a bribe?Copy !req
446. That dude in there?
Saul Goodman we're talking about?Copy !req
447. Yeah. "Morally outraged," he said.Copy !req
448. Threatened to call the police.Copy !req
449. - Wait, and Badger is gonna spill?
- Like the Exxon Valdez.Copy !req
450. So, what do we do about it?Copy !req
451. Hey, Francesca,
how about I follow you home?Copy !req
452. No.Copy !req
453. For safety.Copy !req
454. What?Copy !req
455. God, you are killing me
with that booty.Copy !req
456. Talk to me. Come on, talk to me, guys.
I don't know—Copy !req
457. Come on, just tell me what you want.
Jesus!Copy !req
458. Oh, no, no, no!Copy !req
459. No, it wasn't me.
It was Ignacio. He's the one.Copy !req
460. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
461. Shut up, dude.Copy !req
462. Shut up, all right?
Just speak English.Copy !req
463. Lalo didn't send you? No Lalo?Copy !req
464. - Who?
- Oh, thank God! Oh, Christ!Copy !req
465. Oh, I thought...Copy !req
466. What can I do for you, gentlemen?Copy !req
467. Anything.
Just tell me what you need.Copy !req
468. This afternoon, an associate of ours
offered you $10,000.Copy !req
469. You should have taken it.Copy !req
470. Wait a minute.
This is in regards to what's-his-name?Copy !req
471. Badger! Brandon Mayhew.Copy !req
472. The uncle. That was your guy?Copy !req
473. No offense, but I don't take bribes
from strangers, you know?Copy !req
474. Better safe than sorry.
That's my motto.Copy !req
475. - But I'll take your money! Sure!
- No, that offer has expired, yo.Copy !req
476. It was kind of low anyways.
But okay, okay, I'll take it.Copy !req
477. Just tell me what you need,
all right?Copy !req
478. I'm easy. I'm gonna keep
a happy thought...Copy !req
479. and assume
this is just a negotiating tactic.Copy !req
480. All right, listen to me very carefully.Copy !req
481. You are going to give
Badger Mayhew...Copy !req
482. the best legal representation ever.Copy !req
483. But no deals with the DEA.Copy !req
484. All right? Badger will not identify
anyone to anybody.Copy !req
485. If he does, you're dead.Copy !req
486. Why don't you just kill Badger?Copy !req
487. I mean, follow me, but
if a mosquito is buzzing around you...Copy !req
488. and it bites you on the ass,
you don't go gunning for the attorney.Copy !req
489. You go grab a fly swatter.
I mean, so to speak.Copy !req
490. I mean, all due respect,
but do I have to spell this out for you?Copy !req
491. - We're not killing Badger, yo.
- Then you got real problems, okay.Copy !req
492. Because the DEA
will come down on your boy...Copy !req
493. like a proverbial ton of bricks.Copy !req
494. I don't think
I'm going out on a limb here...Copy !req
495. but, hey,
he's not gonna like prison.Copy !req
496. He's gonna sing like Celine Dion
regardless of what you do to me.Copy !req
497. Mr. Mayhew?Copy !req
498. Recognize your cough. Take that
mask off, you know. Get some air.Copy !req
499. Go on.Copy !req
500. - God.
- Take it easy.Copy !req
501. Breathe in, breathe out.Copy !req
502. All right. I'm gonna stand up, all right?
Because I got bad knees.Copy !req
503. That's better.Copy !req
504. Okay, now listen. The three of us
are gonna work this out.Copy !req
505. Yeah? How?Copy !req
506. First thing, you'll put a dollar
in my pocket, both of you.Copy !req
507. You want attorney-client privilege,
don't you?Copy !req
508. So that everything you say
is strictly between us.Copy !req
509. I mean it. Put a dollar in my pocket.Copy !req
510. Come on, make it official.Copy !req
511. Come on, do it.Copy !req
512. That's it, come on. Just a dollar.Copy !req
513. All right, now you, ski bum.
Come on. Give with the dollar.Copy !req
514. - Go on.
- Be smart.Copy !req
515. What?Copy !req
516. - All I got is a five.
- I'll take a five.Copy !req
517. Come on, already.
Come on. Be cool.Copy !req
518. Okay, you're now both
officially represented...Copy !req
519. by Saul Goodman and Associates.Copy !req
520. Your secrets are safe with me
under threat of disbarment.Copy !req
521. Take the ski mask off. Feel like I'm
talking to the Weather Underground.Copy !req
522. Just do it.Copy !req
523. Okay, so if a prison shanking
is completely off the table...Copy !req
524. And we're sure of that?Copy !req
525. No shanking!Copy !req
526. All right, all right.Copy !req
527. The way I see it is
somebody is going to prison.Copy !req
528. It's just a matter of who.Copy !req
529. All right. Lame-ass TV ads aside...Copy !req
530. your lawyer here,
he cooked you up a pretty killer deal.Copy !req
531. Time served, no probation.Copy !req
532. It's pretty slick.
Couldn't believe the judge went for it.Copy !req
533. Don't get cocky.
You ain't home free yet.Copy !req
534. You don't give us
the name of your supplier...Copy !req
535. you're going nowhere.
- The tough guy act is unnecessary.Copy !req
536. This young man
is cooperating fully.Copy !req
537. Is that right?
Yeah, you cooperating?Copy !req
538. Okay, let's start with a name.Copy !req
539. He just goes by Heisenberg.Copy !req
540. Heisenberg, huh?Copy !req
541. How old is this Heisenberg?Copy !req
542. Old. Like 50 or 70 or something.Copy !req
543. - Height?
- Average, I guess.Copy !req
544. Medium height, medium weight.Copy !req
545. - What color hair?
- No hair.Copy !req
546. Dude is balder than you.Copy !req
547. 1963, James Edward Kilkelly...Copy !req
548. is convicted of stealing
a vending machine.Copy !req
549. 1975, breaking and entering.Copy !req
550. 1982, grand theft auto.Copy !req
551. 1984, armed robbery.Copy !req
552. 1987, 1992. You get the idea.
And here he is today.Copy !req
553. Better known as Jimmy In-and-Out.Copy !req
554. City, State, and Federal, he's spent
44 of the last 58 years inside.Copy !req
555. Entire life behind bars.Copy !req
556. Jimmy provides
a very special serviceCopy !req
557. For a price,
Jimmy will go to prison for you.Copy !req
558. Th 0" purpose? e.
guy goes to prison on purpose?Copy !req
559. He's actually
more comfortable inside.Copy !req
560. The outside world
hasn't been too kind to him.Copy !req
561. Sometime during
the Clinton administration...Copy !req
562. Jimmy figured out how he could
use his talents to turn a profit.Copy !req
563. - So when does all this happen?
- It's already happening.Copy !req
564. The buy is set for tomorrow.Copy !req
565. Cops bust Jimmy, Badger gets out,
everybody's happy...Copy !req
566. and all it's gonna cost you
is 80 thousand and one pound...Copy !req
567. of your finest meth.Copy !req
568. Eighty thousand dollars
for eight years of his life, huh?Copy !req
569. First of all,
he's not gonna do eight years.Copy !req
570. I'll represent him, and I guarantee...Copy !req
571. there'll be some unexpected
problems with the prosecution's case.Copy !req
572. Secondly, he gets 30.
Fifty goes to me.Copy !req
573. - You get 50? For what?
- For facilitating.Copy !req
574. Who's taking a bigger risk here?
He likes prison.Copy !req
575. You did bring the cash, didn't you?Copy !req
576. Look, if this option
is too expensive...Copy !req
577. you can still always... Badger
in the chow line.Copy !req
578. Conscience gets expensive,
doesn't it?Copy !req
579. All right. There's our boy.Copy !req
580. Right on time.Copy !req
581. - Go back.
- What? All right, all right.Copy !req
582. So, what do you think?
They see us?Copy !req
583. No, man, I think we're good.Copy !req
584. Badger looks like
he's gonna throw up.Copy !req
585. Give me those back.Copy !req
586. Just give them to me.Copy !req
587. Oh, no.Copy !req
588. Where the hell is Jimmy?Copy !req
589. Should've been here
10 minutes ago.Copy !req
590. You think Jimmy is actually for real?
A guy who wants to be in prison?Copy !req
591. There's more
than one kind of prison.Copy !req
592. What the hell
is that supposed to mean?Copy !req
593. There he is— Wait a minute.Copy !req
594. - Oh, no, no, no.
- What? What? Let me see.Copy !req
595. - Who the hell is that?
- I don't know.Copy !req
596. Mr. Heisenberg, I presume.Copy !req
597. Time to move?Copy !req
598. Let's see the exchange.Copy !req
599. No, no. Oh, shit!Copy !req
600. - What?
- Now he shows.Copy !req
601. Okay, let's do this.Copy !req
602. No, no.Copy !req
603. Oh, my God.
Jimmy is on the wrong bench. Crap!Copy !req
604. We are screwed!Copy !req
605. What are you doing?Copy !req
606. Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
607. I don't get it. What's the holdup?Copy !req
608. Where's the stuff, man?Copy !req
609. - Where are we going?
- Just shut up.Copy !req
610. Get out. Go stop him.Copy !req
611. The DEA is right there.
If they see me, we're screwed.Copy !req
612. Get out. I'll do something.Copy !req
613. - What?
- Just go!Copy !req
614. Hank, I thought that was you.Copy !req
615. Schrader, I'm blocked.Copy !req
616. - Walt, not a good time.
- How you doing? You feeling okay?Copy !req
617. Schrader, I'm blocked.Copy !req
618. We're working.
You gotta get out of here.Copy !req
619. - Working? Oh, like DEA working?
- Schrader, we're missing it. Schrader.Copy !req
620. Is something going down?Copy !req
621. Wrong guy, wrong guy.
Other bench.Copy !req
622. Walt, Walt.Copy !req
623. - Walter, move your ass now.
- Okay.Copy !req
624. Listen, I'll just go, leave you alone.Copy !req
625. - We'll talk about it later. Just floor it.
- Should I back up?Copy !req
626. - Go that way.
- Forward is better?Copy !req
627. I'll be out of the way there.
Okay, okay.Copy !req
628. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry.Copy !req
629. - I'll leave you alone.
- We'll talk later. Just go.Copy !req
630. Where'd he go?
Where the hell did he go?Copy !req
631. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Got him.Copy !req
632. - Looks like it's going down.
- Take him.Copy !req
633. Freeze! Hey, right there.
Don't move.Copy !req
634. Come on, get him up.Copy !req
635. Jesus!Copy !req
636. I think they bought it.Copy !req
637. Absolutely.Copy !req
638. Textbook bust, sir. Yes, sir.Copy !req
639. Looks like we got a full pound
of the blue stuff.Copy !req
640. Oh, and Heisenberg's real name?
James Kilkelly.Copy !req
641. Thank you. Thank you very much.
It was my pleasure.Copy !req
642. Hey.Copy !req
643. You weren't home,
so I let the delivery guys in.Copy !req
644. - I hope that's okay.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
645. So you bought a bed.Copy !req
646. Yeah.Copy !req
647. What is that, a king?Copy !req
648. Pillow top?Copy !req
649. Oh, my God.
You really are a chemistry teacher.Copy !req
650. You mind?Copy !req
651. I was terrible at chemistry.Copy !req
652. I'm more of a humanities guy.Copy !req
653. - How did you find me?
- We should talk about that.Copy !req
654. It should be much, much harder
for people to track you down.Copy !req
655. My Pl charged me for three hours...Copy !req
656. so I seriously doubt
it took him more than one.Copy !req
657. So this is what, blackmail?Copy !req
658. Walter, I'm your lawyer.Copy !req
659. Anything you say to me
is totally privileged.Copy !req
660. I'm not in the shake down racket.Copy !req
661. I'm a lawyer. Even drug dealers
need lawyers, right?Copy !req
662. Especially drug dealers.Copy !req
663. So, what, you're just doing this
out of the kindness of your heart?Copy !req
664. Come on.
Have you seen my hourly rate?Copy !req
665. By the way,
where do you keep the money?Copy !req
666. Is it in your mattress? Is it in a jelly jar
buried in the side yard?Copy !req
667. This kid Mayhew may be the first
of your guys to get picked up...Copy !req
668. but he won't be the last.Copy !req
669. And if I can find you,
how far behind can the cops be?Copy !req
670. I don't understand.Copy !req
671. What exactly are you
offering to do for me?Copy !req
672. What did Tom Hagen
do for Vito Corleone?Copy !req
673. I'm no Vito Corleone.Copy !req
674. No shit. Right now, you're Fredo.Copy !req
675. But with some sound advice...Copy !req
676. and the proper introductions,
who knows?Copy !req
677. I'll tell you,
you've got the right product.Copy !req
678. Anything that gets the DEA's panties
in this big a bunch...Copy !req
679. you're on to something special.Copy !req
680. And I would like to be
a small and silent part of it.Copy !req
681. Food for thought, yeah?Copy !req
682. So if you wanna make more money
and keep the money that you make...Copy !req
683. "Better call Saul!"Copy !req