1. Skyler, I'm so...Copy !req
2. Marie. Oh, Christ, Marie. How...?Copy !req
3. Oh, God. Oh, thank God.Copy !req
4. Is she beautiful?Copy !req
5. Yeah, I'm staring at brake lights
on the 40.Copy !req
6. Some accident up ahead.Copy !req
7. Christ! Today of all days, huh?Copy !req
8. No, no, no. Let her rest.
I'll be there as soon as I can.Copy !req
9. Thank you.Copy !req
10. Excuse me. Skyler White?Copy !req
11. - 307.
- Thank you.Copy !req
12. Skyler, I'm so sorry. I'm just...Copy !req
13. Are you okay?Copy !req
14. Meet your daughter.Copy !req
15. Hi there, girl. Hi there, Holly.Copy !req
16. Congratulations, Walt.Copy !req
17. Oh, Ted, I'm sorry,
I didn't see you here.Copy !req
18. Oh, Ted drove me here. Thank God.Copy !req
19. I mean, this little bundle of joy of ours
was practically on rails.Copy !req
20. Halfway here I thought
he was gonna have to pull over...Copy !req
21. and deliver her himself.Copy !req
22. Well, that—
I'm glad it didn't come to that.Copy !req
23. Yeah. Thanks, Ted.Copy !req
24. No problem at all.Copy !req
25. Well, let me get out of your way here
so you two can—Copy !req
26. You three can be alone, okay?Copy !req
27. Listen, take it easy, Sky.Copy !req
28. - I really can't begin to thank you.
- Don't think anything of it.Copy !req
29. It's my pleasure.
Congratulations again.Copy !req
30. - Thank you.
- She's beautiful.Copy !req
31. Okay. I'll talk to you soon.Copy !req
32. Okay. Take care.Copy !req
33. Bye.Copy !req
34. Are you okay?Copy !req
35. - Is everything okay?
- Everything is okay.Copy !req
36. I just wish you'd been here.Copy !req
37. - Where's everyone else?
- Downstairs.Copy !req
38. Hank and Marie
took Junior for dinner.Copy !req
39. He has been such a trooper.
He even changed his first diaper.Copy !req
40. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
41. Did he?Copy !req
42. Honey, is there anything
that I can do for you?Copy !req
43. - Anything at all?
- Actually, yes.Copy !req
44. I left my overnight bag
at home this morning.Copy !req
45. I just think you get it in your head,
C-section. You know?Copy !req
46. But I'm just so glad,
the way it all worked out.Copy !req
47. Doing it natural instead.Copy !req
48. It just couldn't have gone any better.Copy !req
49. Good.Copy !req
50. Let me go get your things.Copy !req
51. And I'll get my stuff too, okay?Copy !req
52. - I'll spend the night.
- Okay.Copy !req
53. Dad.Copy !req
54. I was in the shower, hey.Copy !req
55. I overslept.Copy !req
56. I'm running late, but I'll be there.Copy !req
57. Yeah.Copy !req
58. Baby, I gotta go.Copy !req
59. Okay.Copy !req
60. Somebody broke in.Copy !req
61. Okay.Copy !req
62. Oh, no. No, no, no!Copy !req
63. Come on.Copy !req
64. Damn.Copy !req
65. Oh, God.Copy !req
66. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
67. This week was tough.Copy !req
68. Toughest yet.Copy !req
69. You know why?
I knew this day was coming.Copy !req
70. - My birthday.
- Your re-birthday?Copy !req
71. Yeah. As it got closer, it got worse.Copy !req
72. I was scared shitless
I wouldn't make it.Copy !req
73. I really didn't think I would.Copy !req
74. Called in sick three days in a row.Copy !req
75. I know my boss was pissed.Copy !req
76. I guess I don't really care.
I just didn't wanna see anybody.Copy !req
77. You guys know how that is.Copy !req
78. All it would take is one friend...Copy !req
79. and I'd be out
ripping and running again.Copy !req
80. But I made it. I really made it.Copy !req
81. I got one year clean to the day.Copy !req
82. You look tired.
Your eyes are kind of red.Copy !req
83. - You getting enough sleep?
- Actually, no.Copy !req
84. I'm working on this
really complex new tat.Copy !req
85. - Yeah?
- A guy wants his whole back done up.Copy !req
86. Him on his chopper with, like,
flames all around.Copy !req
87. I keep showing him the design,
he keeps asking for changes, like:Copy !req
88. "Give me more muscles.
Give me more flames."Copy !req
89. And I'm like, "A:
This ain't the Sistine Chapel.Copy !req
90. And B: I have enough trouble
working around your zits."Copy !req
91. I really wish you wouldn't
work at that place.Copy !req
92. You need to avoid
those type of people.Copy !req
93. I know and I do.Copy !req
94. It's mostly college kids
and airmen from Kirtland.Copy !req
95. It's actually really corporate.Copy !req
96. Thank you.Copy !req
97. So how's your job?Copy !req
98. Oh, you know. Same old, same old.Copy !req
99. Doing backup training
on my days oh'.Copy !req
100. God, they're hiring anybody now.
I mean, no experience at all. It's scary.Copy !req
101. You seeing anyone?Copy !req
102. No.Copy !req
103. You?Copy !req
104. What about that guy next door?Copy !req
105. What do you mean?Copy !req
106. Well, he seemed to have
some expectation...Copy !req
107. of you introducing me to him.Copy !req
108. He knows you own the place.Copy !req
109. Yeah.Copy !req
110. Dad, he's our tenant.Copy !req
111. End of story.Copy !req
112. Why would I get involved
with a tenant?Copy !req
113. Okay.Copy !req
114. There you go.Copy !req
115. Oh, yes.Copy !req
116. Oh, isn't she beautiful?Copy !req
117. I just think she's the most
beautiful baby ever.Copy !req
118. Yeah. And why not?Copy !req
119. Good stock.Copy !req
120. I'll get it.Copy !req
121. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
122. Hello. Hello?Copy !req
123. Nobody's there.Copy !req
124. Oh, Well.Copy !req
125. Beat you.Copy !req
126. - Hello.
- Hey, man.Copy !req
127. Oh, hi, Carmen.Copy !req
128. Just Carmen.Copy !req
129. - Come on. Hurry up.
- So you heard, huh? Yes, yes.Copy !req
130. Good news.
Oh, she's just so beautiful.Copy !req
131. Well, Holly.Copy !req
132. Seven pounds, 3 ounces.Copy !req
133. Everybody is doing just fine.Copy !req
134. You junkie imbecile.
What are you calling this number for?Copy !req
135. I am trying to tell you, man.Copy !req
136. Last night,
somebody broke in my place, yo.Copy !req
137. - I got robbed.
- What?Copy !req
138. Yeah. Somebody,
they got all of our stuff. Okay?Copy !req
139. All of it.Copy !req
140. You get me, Mr. White?Copy !req
141. The blue stuff. It's, like, uncanny.Copy !req
142. They knew exactly where to look.Copy !req
143. I mean, say something, man, all right?
Yell at me or something! Come on!Copy !req
144. Mr. White.Copy !req
145. God!Copy !req
146. Oh, no.Copy !req
147. Okay. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
148. Hank, come on.
People are starving to death out here.Copy !req
149. All right. I just had to get a beer.Copy !req
150. Finally.Copy !req
151. All right, guys. Here we go.Copy !req
152. We got mild, medium
and muy caliente.Copy !req
153. I got dibs on the breast.Copy !req
154. - Los Polios Hermanos?
- Oh, yeah, seriously. You gotta try it.Copy !req
155. I think this joint gives KFC
a run for their money.Copy !req
156. That baby is hungry.Copy !req
157. Give me that baby.Copy !req
158. Oh, sweetie, yes.Copy !req
159. Do you have any coleslaw in there?Copy !req
160. Oh, no, no, no. Come on. Jeez, Sky.Copy !req
161. - Not at the table. We're eating.
- Hank, it's only a breast.Copy !req
162. - It's my sister-in-law's breast.
- Oh, you are so provincial.Copy !req
163. Hank, remember the day...Copy !req
164. when you were talking to me
about childproofing?Copy !req
165. Yeah.Copy !req
166. Yeah, yeah. What are you thinking?
A fence or a cover?Copy !req
167. Yeah. No, well, actually, I was thinking
more of an alarm system.Copy !req
168. They've got these new systems that
are now sonar systems that would—Copy !req
169. Anything falls into it,
it sets the alarm off.Copy !req
170. Oh, nice.Copy !req
171. - Wow, that sounds expensive.
- Well, yeah.Copy !req
172. - But for the baby, I mean...
- Well, why don't...Copy !req
173. Why don't you let Marie and I
get that for you?Copy !req
174. - Absolutely.
- No, no. Thank you.Copy !req
175. No, no, please.
I'll be back at work soon.Copy !req
176. We'll take care of it.Copy !req
177. "Back at work soon"?Copy !req
178. Since you're scheduled
for surgery...Copy !req
179. I just thought it might be a good idea
to have some money coming in.Copy !req
180. Well, Skyler, we need to think
about what's best for the baby.Copy !req
181. And I think having her mother around
for at least the first few years...Copy !req
182. Money-wise, we'll manage.
I promise you that.Copy !req
183. What? You guys got, like, a printing
press in the garage churning out 50s?Copy !req
184. I Wish.Copy !req
185. Mom's even talking
about me getting a job.Copy !req
186. That's right. Everybody pitches in.Copy !req
187. Why don't we ever get Chinese?Copy !req
188. I'll get her.Copy !req
189. I'll get her.Copy !req
190. Yes. Good girl.Copy !req
191. That's a good girl.Copy !req
192. My little girl, huh?Copy !req
193. Hey, do you wanna see something?Copy !req
194. Come here.Copy !req
195. Oh, I know, I know.Copy !req
196. Yeah.Copy !req
197. Hey.Copy !req
198. You wanna see what
your daddy did for you?Copy !req
199. Let me show you.Copy !req
200. Here. Come here.Copy !req
201. Wanna see?Copy !req
202. That's right. Daddy did that.Copy !req
203. Daddy did that for you.Copy !req
204. This place looks exactly the same.Copy !req
205. Why don't you have computers
and shit? It's the 20th century.Copy !req
206. What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
207. - Get out.
- No. You took the stash.Copy !req
208. I heard all those messages,
figured it out.Copy !req
209. You figured it out, huh?
Well, congratulations, Einstein.Copy !req
210. You left me to freak out all day long
like I dropped the ball or something...Copy !req
211. and you were the one who took it!
- Shut up.Copy !req
212. You lower your voice.Copy !req
213. "Like you dropped the ball"?Copy !req
214. When have you ever
not dropped the ball, Jesse?Copy !req
215. Blasted out of your mind
on whatever the hell that was.Copy !req
216. What was that, heroin?Copy !req
217. Jesus.Copy !req
218. I was on my day off, man.
What I do on my day off—Copy !req
219. "Day off"?
We were on call, you junkie.Copy !req
220. On call for the biggest deal
of our lives.Copy !req
221. I just managed to pull it off by
the skin of my teeth, no thanks to you.Copy !req
222. And you made me miss
the birth of my daughter.Copy !req
223. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
224. How much?Copy !req
225. - How much what?
- How much did you get for the deal?Copy !req
226. One-point-two million.Copy !req
227. Six hundred thousand each.Copy !req
228. Four hundred and eighty thousand.Copy !req
229. Saul's cut is 20 percent.Copy !req
230. All right.Copy !req
231. So where's my money?Copy !req
232. What?Copy !req
233. You are joking, right?Copy !req
234. If I gave you that money...Copy !req
235. you would be dead
inside of a week.Copy !req
236. Man, look, I'm off the heroin.Copy !req
237. I didn't even like it anyway.
It made me sick.Copy !req
238. And the... And the meth.Copy !req
239. You know, I could take it or leave it.Copy !req
240. I'm clean, Mr. White.Copy !req
241. For real.Copy !req
242. Prove it.Copy !req
243. Pee in that.Copy !req
244. - How gay are you, seriously?
- Pee in it.Copy !req
245. They're selling testing kits
at the drugstores.Copy !req
246. If you are clean,
I will give you every last dime.Copy !req
247. No, huh?Copy !req
248. Well, I guess, until then
you'll just have to depend...Copy !req
249. on the kindness of strangers
to get high.Copy !req
250. That and your little junkie girlfriend.Copy !req
251. Not on her tummy, Walt.Copy !req
252. I'm not putting her on her tummy.Copy !req
253. I'll put her on her side.
Do you wanna hold her back?Copy !req
254. - Yeah.
- Right there.Copy !req
255. Just in case she decides
to do a little spit up...Copy !req
256. I'm gonna roll up a nice clean towel
like this and put it under.Copy !req
257. Hammacher Schlemmer
makes a proper one of those.Copy !req
258. - It's hypoallergenic.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
259. Well, I think a towel will do.Copy !req
260. Skyler, what is it?Copy !req
261. Your son. He is just unbelievable.
Come see what he did.Copy !req
262. - I told you it's not ready yet.
- Honey, just show it to them.Copy !req
263. My God, son. That's wonderful.Copy !req
264. Flynn.Copy !req
265. This is beautiful.Copy !req
266. SaveWalterWhite.com.Copy !req
267. Well, I, for one,
am telling everybody.Copy !req
268. Wait a minute. You're not asking
for money, are you, son?Copy !req
269. Yeah. That's the whole idea.Copy !req
270. Louis helped me set up
a PayPal account and everything.Copy !req
271. - See.
- But we can't ask for money.Copy !req
272. Walt.Copy !req
273. Okay.Copy !req
274. I appreciate it. I really do.Copy !req
275. Show me what else you put on.Copy !req
276. This was all his idea.
He worked so hard on it.Copy !req
277. - Just let him help.
- Skyler.Copy !req
278. It's— You can't ask him
to take it down.Copy !req
279. - It'll crush him.
- Skyler, it's charity.Copy !req
280. Why do you say that
like it's some sort of dirty word?Copy !req
281. This is insane.Copy !req
282. I have so much cash on hand...Copy !req
283. that I actually count it
by weighing it on my bathroom scale.Copy !req
284. And yet, I can't spend it.
I can't tell my family about it.Copy !req
285. All of whom think that I am
right on the edge of bankruptcy.Copy !req
286. I mean, it's—Copy !req
287. It's insane.Copy !req
288. Well, I guess that's why
gangsters had molls.Copy !req
289. What?Copy !req
290. Gun molls.Copy !req
291. Haven't you ever seen White Heat?Copy !req
292. Yeah, I've seen White Heat...Copy !req
293. but I don't see how that pertains.
- Maybe you need a moll...Copy !req
294. more than a wife
who you can't trust with your secrets.Copy !req
295. - Just—
- What good is money...Copy !req
296. that doesn't spend?
The tree falls in the forest...Copy !req
297. You know, you get the point.
So communicating is out?Copy !req
298. Out.Copy !req
299. Let's see. What else is there?Copy !req
300. There's always,
"Hey, I found a big bag of money...Copy !req
301. down by the rail road tracks."Copy !req
302. No? No? Works for me.Copy !req
303. Uncle Murray.Copy !req
304. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
305. Yeah,
"Oh, many is the happy memory...Copy !req
306. of Uncle Murray
bouncing me on his knee.Copy !req
307. We lost track of
the old pervert years ago...Copy !req
308. but he kicked it, left me millions."
- No, no.Copy !req
309. It cannot be blind luck or some
imaginary relative who saves us.Copy !req
310. No, I earned that money, me.Copy !req
311. And now my son created
his own website...Copy !req
312. SaveWalterWhite.com,
soliciting anonymous donations.Copy !req
313. Do you have any idea
how that makes me feel?Copy !req
314. Yeah, look at that.
It's got PayPal and everything.Copy !req
315. Cyber-begging. That's all that is.Copy !req
316. Just rattling a little tin cup
to the entire world.Copy !req
317. Yeah, there's no deep-seated
issues there.Copy !req
318. Walter, I'm looking at the answer here.
It's staring me in the face.Copy !req
319. - Do I have to spell it out for you?
- I know. I know.Copy !req
320. You're thinking that I should be
funneling money...Copy !req
321. into my son's website,
but absolutely not.Copy !req
322. I am not going to have
my family think that some...Copy !req
323. mystery benefactor saved us.Copy !req
324. Not some mystery benefactor,
singular.Copy !req
325. That would raise too many questions.
However—Copy !req
326. Stay with me here.Copy !req
327. —Zombies.Copy !req
328. I got a guy, who knows this guy,
who knows this Rain Man-type.Copy !req
329. He lives with his mother
in her basement in Belarus, all right?Copy !req
330. So good luck extraditing
his fat Russian ass.Copy !req
331. Wait. He's a hacker-cracker
extraordinaire.Copy !req
332. This guy can hijack
random desktops...Copy !req
333. all around the world, turn them into
zombies that do his bidding.Copy !req
334. For instance, he can make it
so 20- or 30,000...Copy !req
335. little donations come in
from all over the U.S. and Canada.Copy !req
336. Ten, 20, 50 bucks a pop...Copy !req
337. all paid in full, nice and neat,
untraceable...Copy !req
338. from the good-hearted people
of the world to Mr. Walter H. White...Copy !req
339. cancer saint.Copy !req
340. I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling
just thinking about it.Copy !req
341. He's an asshole, that's what.
Always judging me.Copy !req
342. Not too much.Copy !req
343. I mean, like, who is he, right?Copy !req
344. I mean, first off, I taught him.Copy !req
345. Always acting like
I'm his indentured servant.Copy !req
346. Now the cotton.Copy !req
347. Needle?Copy !req
348. - I don't understand why you need him.
- Exactly.Copy !req
349. My point exactly.Copy !req
350. Flat against your skin
so it doesn't wiggle around too much.Copy !req
351. How much does he owe you,
anyway?Copy !req
352. Four hundred and eighty.Copy !req
353. Oh, hell, I'd be mad too
if somebody owed me 500 bucks.Copy !req
354. No, no.Copy !req
355. Four hundred and eighty thousand.Copy !req
356. What?Copy !req
357. What?Copy !req
358. Thousand.Copy !req
359. Not on your back,
in case you throw up.Copy !req
360. On your side. Sleep on your side.Copy !req
361. And she's all like:Copy !req
362. "Don't preach to me." And I'm like,
"Baby, I'm not preaching to you.Copy !req
363. I'm talking about basic survival,
you know?Copy !req
364. I'm conversing
about life and death."Copy !req
365. I mean, this here,
what we've been doing...Copy !req
366. hell, Becky knows.Copy !req
367. Dad?Copy !req
368. I overslept. I'm on my way.Copy !req
369. Dad?Copy !req
370. Dad, wait.Copy !req
371. Dad, it's not what it looks like.Copy !req
372. Dad.Copy !req
373. Dad, will just wait? Let me—
Just talk to you for one second.Copy !req
374. No, Dad.Copy !req
375. Dad, come on.Copy !req
376. Dad?Copy !req
377. Dad, no. No, stop it!
Don't touch him, Dad!Copy !req
378. - Dad, stop. Dad, let him go!
- Son of a bitch.Copy !req
379. Dad, no. Stop it!
Stop it, Dad! Stop it!Copy !req
380. - Get away from me, man. Back off.
- Jesse.Copy !req
381. - Jesse, no!
- Back off!Copy !req
382. - Okay, everybody just calm down!
- What's with you, yo?Copy !req
383. - Because I'll seriously bust you up.
- You miserable little smackhead.Copy !req
384. - Get the hell out!
- Hey, I pay my rent, bitch!Copy !req
385. All right? I got civil rights.Copy !req
386. Dad, no! Okay!Copy !req
387. Jesse, come on.
Please, no. Come on.Copy !req
388. I Pay my rent.Copy !req
389. You're going back to rehab.
Today. Now.Copy !req
390. Look, as it so happens,
we were just...Copy !req
391. We were just talking
about that now.Copy !req
392. - Yeah?
- Yeah, I was gonna tell you, okay?Copy !req
393. - If you would just let me.
- Eighteen months.Copy !req
394. You have been clean for 18 months,
Jane. Why? Why do you do it?Copy !req
395. I backslid, okay?Copy !req
396. Like, what?Copy !req
397. What, you think I'm proud of this?Copy !req
398. Like I do it on purpose?Copy !req
399. Lying to me...Copy !req
400. shacking up and using
with this scumbag, this loser.Copy !req
401. It takes one to know one.Copy !req
402. His name is Jesse. You don't know
the first thing about him.Copy !req
403. We talk about rehab every night.
It's his idea.Copy !req
404. You talk about rehab?
Well, gee, isn't that wonderful?Copy !req
405. Thank you for not being judgmental
24 hours a day.Copy !req
406. Because that's exactly what I need,
to be judged all the time!Copy !req
407. Okay.Copy !req
408. You know what you need?
I'll tell you what you need.Copy !req
409. What are you doing?Copy !req
410. - What are you doing?
- I am calling the police.Copy !req
411. - Dad. Dad, no, don't.
- Come on. Come on!Copy !req
412. - Dad, no. Don't.
- I have tried 10 years...Copy !req
413. of love and understanding.Copy !req
414. Maybe what it takes
is you drying out in a jail cell.Copy !req
415. Dad, no.Copy !req
416. Yes, I would like to report drug use
in a building that I own.Copy !req
417. - Dad. Daddy, no.
- No. It's ongoing. It's illegal activity.Copy !req
418. - I'd like to talk to somebody.
- Daddy.Copy !req
419. - Would you connect me, please?
- Fine, we'll go to rehab.Copy !req
420. I could care less
about him going to rehab.Copy !req
421. - I want you in rehab.
- I'll go first thing tomorrow.Copy !req
422. Not tomorrow. Today.Copy !req
423. I have to call into work.
I have to stop the newspaper.Copy !req
424. The last time I went, my houseplants
died because you didn't water them.Copy !req
425. Daddy, please?Copy !req
426. I'll go.Copy !req
427. Albuquerque Police.
How may I direct your call?Copy !req
428. Tomorrow.Copy !req
429. Hello?Copy !req
430. Hello?Copy !req
431. I'm sorry. I made a mistake.Copy !req
432. Tomorrow.Copy !req
433. You meant all that?Copy !req
434. I don't know.Copy !req
435. I just think
if we had enough money...Copy !req
436. nobody could make us
do anything.Copy !req
437. Oh, just let it ring.Copy !req
438. No, I'm gonna go see who it is.Copy !req
439. It's okay, Holly.Copy !req
440. It's okay, sweetie.Copy !req
441. Good luck with that.Copy !req
442. But I'm sure he'd be glad to,
you know, write some—Copy !req
443. You know, actually, here he is
right now. So hold on a second.Copy !req
444. - What?
- It's one of your...Copy !req
445. One of your old students
wants a letter of recommendation.Copy !req
446. Oh, okay. Thanks.Copy !req
447. Oh, honey,
I think the baby is getting hungry.Copy !req
448. - This is Walter White.
- Hello, Walter White.Copy !req
449. I'm sorry.
I'm having a little trouble recalling—Copy !req
450. It's Jane.Copy !req
451. You know, of Jesse and Jane.Copy !req
452. Jesse's 'junkie girlfriend. "Copy !req
453. Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
It really has been a long time.Copy !req
454. Get somewhere
where you can talk.Copy !req
455. Sure. Yes.
I am looking into that as we speak.Copy !req
456. How the hell did you get this number?
Did Jesse give it to you?Copy !req
457. All Jesse wants
is what's coming to him.Copy !req
458. No more, no less.Copy !req
459. What are you talking about?Copy !req
460. Four hundred and eighty thousand.Copy !req
461. - He told you about the money.
- He told me everything.Copy !req
462. So, what is this?Copy !req
463. What, some kind of blackmail
or something?Copy !req
464. This is me telling you
to do right by Jesse.Copy !req
465. Bring him what you owe him.Copy !req
466. I don't call that blackmail.Copy !req
467. I call that you getting off your ass,
and being a decent human being.Copy !req
468. Well, I call it blackmail.Copy !req
469. Dialing my number.
Talking to my wife.Copy !req
470. And what's your end of this?Copy !req
471. How much heroin
does a half a million dollars buy?Copy !req
472. For your information,
I am holding Jesse's money for him...Copy !req
473. and he will receive
every last dollar of it.Copy !req
474. He will, not you...Copy !req
475. at a time when I see fit.Copy !req
476. But I will not contribute
to his overdose.Copy !req
477. Now you tell him, if he gets clean—Copy !req
478. - If you both get clean—
- You know what?Copy !req
479. I take that back. This is blackmail.Copy !req
480. Because what I know about you,
high-school teacher...Copy !req
481. turned drug dealer,
with a brother-in-law in the DEA...Copy !req
482. that would make one hell of a story
National news, I'll bet.Copy !req
483. Do right by Jesse tonight,
or I will burn you to the ground.Copy !req
484. Shit.Copy !req
485. He's a high-school teacher. What's
he gonna do, give you a B-minus?Copy !req
486. Send you outside
to clap the erasers?Copy !req
487. You wouldn't really go to the cops,
would you?Copy !req
488. We won't have to. He'll pay.Copy !req
489. And what if he doesn't?Copy !req
490. Jesse, it's your money.Copy !req
491. You're in the right here. He's in
the wrong. He's not stupid. He'll pay.Copy !req
492. What is it, really?Copy !req
493. You don't want
your half a million dollars?Copy !req
494. You wanna renounce your earthly
possessions and become a monk?Copy !req
495. No, it's just,
I'm not the kind of dude who rolls.Copy !req
496. And by extension, you know,
neither are you.Copy !req
497. I mean, he's my partner.Copy !req
498. I'm your partner.Copy !req
499. The largest land animal
in all the planet...Copy !req
500. .. lives in a tightly knit
matriarchal society...Copy !req
501. led by the eldest female
in the herd.Copy !req
502. Close your eyes and go to sleep.Copy !req
503. She is finally asleep.Copy !req
504. What you doing,
learning about elephants?Copy !req
505. Oh, honey, we're out of diapers.
Would you mind going out?Copy !req
506. Jesse.Copy !req
507. Not you.Copy !req
508. Nice job wearing the pants.Copy !req
509. How do I know she'll keep quiet?Copy !req
510. I guess you don't.Copy !req
511. You'll never hear
from either of us again.Copy !req
512. You're not seeing straight, Jesse.Copy !req
513. You are making a mistake.Copy !req
514. - Do you know what this is?
- It's a whole lot of cheddar.Copy !req
515. This is freedom.Copy !req
516. This is saying,
"I can go anywhere I want.Copy !req
517. I can be anybody."Copy !req
518. Who do you wanna be?Copy !req
519. Where do you wanna go?
South America? Europe? Australia?Copy !req
520. - Is New Zealand part of Australia?
- New Zealand is New Zealand.Copy !req
521. Right on.Copy !req
522. New Zealand. That's where
they made Lord of the Rings.Copy !req
523. I say we just move there, yo.
I mean, you can do your art.Copy !req
524. Right? Like, you can paint, like,
the local castles and shit.Copy !req
525. And I can be a bush pilot.Copy !req
526. Yeah. New Zealand.
I can get behind that.Copy !req
527. But I guess I'm good anywhere
as long as it's the two of us.Copy !req
528. But first, we gotta get clean.Copy !req
529. And not because
anybody is telling us to.Copy !req
530. - We do this for us, right?
- Yeah. Absolutely. For us.Copy !req
531. All this here, we're not gonna
just shoot this up our arms, Jesse.Copy !req
532. We're not.Copy !req
533. Hell, no. No, no, no.
We're better than that.Copy !req
534. We're way better than that. I say...Copy !req
535. I say we flush what we've got left
and we start tonight.Copy !req
536. Yeah, we can do that.Copy !req
537. Definitely.Copy !req
538. Excuse me.Copy !req
539. What can I get you?Copy !req
540. Give me a Fat Tire draft, please.Copy !req
541. Damn it.Copy !req
542. Hey, honey.Copy !req
543. No. I don't know what to tell you.Copy !req
544. Three stores I've been to so far,
and not one of them have it in stock.Copy !req
545. Well, do they have
to be diapers for newborns?Copy !req
546. What if we went up a size
and just kind of...Copy !req
547. All right, all right. No, I understand.Copy !req
548. All right. No, I'll just keep looking.Copy !req
549. I'm pulling into Wal-Mart now, so...Copy !req
550. Yeah. Okay. Love you.Copy !req
551. Thank you.Copy !req
552. God.Copy !req
553. Well played.Copy !req
554. They found water on Mars.Copy !req
555. They have indeed.Copy !req
556. Don't know what to do
with that information...Copy !req
557. but, hey, God bless them,
they found it.Copy !req
558. Oh, well, actually...Copy !req
559. they theoretically can separate
the hydrogen from the oxygen...Copy !req
560. and process that into providing
fuel for man's space flights.Copy !req
561. Ostensibly, turning Mars into
a giant gas station.Copy !req
562. So it's a...Copy !req
563. Yeah. We live in an amazing time.Copy !req
564. - To water on Mars.
- To water on Mars.Copy !req
565. So, what did you have? Girl or boy'?Copy !req
566. - Little girl.
- That's nice.Copy !req
567. - Thanks.
- Congratulations.Copy !req
568. Thank you.Copy !req
569. - I have a daughter.
- Yeah?Copy !req
570. How old?Copy !req
571. Old enough to know better.Copy !req
572. Twenty-seven next month.Copy !req
573. - You have other kids?
- Just the one.Copy !req
574. I've got a 16-year-old boy.
Well, he's almost 16.Copy !req
575. Jeez. Oh, there's a spread, huh?Copy !req
576. But he helps out, though.Copy !req
577. He's even changing some diapers
now, so...Copy !req
578. It's more than I managed to do
when I was his age.Copy !req
579. Kids today grow up faster, I think.Copy !req
580. Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe so.Copy !req
581. So, any advice?Copy !req
582. Having a daughter. Any advice?Copy !req
583. No, not really.Copy !req
584. Just love them.Copy !req
585. Just— Yeah.Copy !req
586. I mean, they are who they are.Copy !req
587. Yeah.Copy !req
588. I've got this nephew.Copy !req
589. This nephew who is—
I mean, he's an adult.Copy !req
590. But you can't infantilize them,
you can't live their life for them.Copy !req
591. But still, I mean,
there is that frustration.Copy !req
592. You know, that...Copy !req
593. God, that frustration
that goes along with, you know:Copy !req
594. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know
what is best for you, so listen."Copy !req
595. But of course, they don't.Copy !req
596. I mean, what do you do
with someone like that?Copy !req
597. Family?Copy !req
598. Yeah. Family.Copy !req
599. You can't give up on them. Never.Copy !req
600. I mean, what else is there?Copy !req
601. Jesse, it's me.Copy !req
602. Jesse, I just wanna talk.Copy !req
603. Jesus.Copy !req
604. Jesse.Copy !req
605. Jesse.Copy !req
606. Jesse, wake up.Copy !req
607. No,no, no.Copy !req