1. Oh, my God.
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2. Christ!
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3. Shit.
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4. Oh, God. Oh, my God.
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5. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Think, think, think.
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6. Oh, my gosh.
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7. Okay. Come on, come on, come on.
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8. Come on.
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9. My name is Walter Hartwell White.
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10. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane,
Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104.
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11. To all law-enforcement entities,
this is not an admission of guilt.
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12. I am speaking to my family now.
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13. Skyler.
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14. You are the love of my life.
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15. I hope you know that.
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16. Walter Jr.
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17. You're my big man.
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18. There are—
There are going to be some things—
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19. Things that you'll
come to learn about me...
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20. in the next few days.
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21. I just want you to know
that no matter how it may look...
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22. I only had you in my heart.
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23. Goodbye.
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24. —money before the panel
earlier this year.
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25. Happy birthday.
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26. Look at that.
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27. That is veggie bacon.
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28. Believe it or not. Zero cholesterol...
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29. and you won't even
taste the difference.
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30. What time do you think
you'll be home?
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31. Same time.
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32. I don't want him
dicking you around tonight.
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33. You get paid till 5,
you work till 5. No later.
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34. Hey.
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35. - Hey, happy birthday.
- Well, thank you.
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36. You're late again.
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37. There was no hot water again.
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38. I have an easy fix for that.
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39. You wake up early, and then you get
to be the first person in the shower.
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40. I have an idea.
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41. How about
buy a new hot-water heater?
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42. How's that idea?
For the million-billionth time.
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43. - Did you take your echinacea?
- Yeah.
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44. I think it's getting better.
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45. What the hell is this?
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46. - Hey.
- It's veggie bacon.
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47. We're watching our cholesterol,
I guess.
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48. Not me. I want real bacon.
Not this fake crap.
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49. Too bad. Eat it.
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50. - This smells like Band-Aids.
- Eat it.
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51. - So how does it feel to be old?
- How does it feel to be a smart-ass?
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52. Good.
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53. Eat your veggie bacon.
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54. - You're all set?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
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55. - All right, see you at home.
- Okay, see you.
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56. Chemistry.
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57. It is the study of what?
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58. Anyone?
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59. Ben.
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60. - Chemicals.
- Chemicals.
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61. No.
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62. Chemistry is...
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63. Well, technically,
chemistry is the study of matter.
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64. But I prefer to see it
as the study of change.
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65. Now, just— Just think about this.
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66. Electrons.
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67. They...
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68. change their energy levels.
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69. Molecules.
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70. Molecules change their bonds.
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71. Elements. They combine
and change into compounds.
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72. Well, that's— That's all of life, right?
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73. I mean, it's just—
It's the constant, it's the cycle.
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74. It's solution, dissolution,
just over and over and over.
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75. It is growth, then decay,
then transformation.
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76. It is fascinating, really.
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77. Chad.
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78. Is there something wrong
with your table?
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79. Okay, ionic bonds.
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80. Are you done?
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81. Ionic bonds. Chapter six.
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82. One, two, three makes 10,
and 10 makes 20.
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83. There's your receipt.
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84. Just hand this disc
to your car-wash professional.
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85. Thank you. Come again.
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86. He's not coming. He says he quits.
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87. I'm gonna run the register.
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88. Bogdan, no. We talked about this.
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89. I'm short-handed, Walter.
What am I to do?
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90. Walter?
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91. What am I to do?
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92. Hey, Mr. White.
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93. - Make those tires shine, huh?
- Oh, my God.
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94. You will not believe
who's cleaning Chad's car.
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95. Mr. White.
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96. From chemistry.
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97. Surprise!
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98. Happy birthday, Dad.
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99. - Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
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100. - Oh, you're so very late.
- Happy birthday.
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101. Really, I'm serious, Skyler.
I mean, you're flat as a washboard.
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102. You look awesome.
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103. - She's not showing at all, is she?
- She's showing a little.
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104. Carmen, this is my sister, Marie.
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105. - Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
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106. Glock 22,
that's my daily carry, okay?
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107. I mean, unless you're talking,
what, Plus P Plus loads...
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108. you can forget the 9 mil.
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109. Shit, I seen one of those
bounce off a windshield one time.
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110. - Yeah, with you shooting.
- Hey.
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111. If you're gonna bring a gun, baby,
you gotta bring enough gun.
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112. Forty caliber.
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113. - This is awesome.
- Nice, isn't it?
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114. - Yeah. Dad, come check this out.
- Yeah, I see it.
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115. - Come on, take it.
- Yeah. Check it out, Walt.
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116. - No, no, it's just heavy.
- That's why they hire men.
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117. Hey, it's not gonna bite you.
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118. Looks like Keith Richards
with a glass of warm milk, doesn't he?
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119. Hey, Walt. Everybody, listen up,
listen up, listen up.
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120. I'm gonna give a toast, a little toast
to my brother-in-law. Come here.
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121. Walt, you got a brain
the size of Wisconsin...
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122. but we're not gonna hold that
against you.
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123. But your heart's in the right place.
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124. Your heart's in the right place.
We love you, man.
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125. Everybody, to Walt.
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126. Oh, shit. Turn on channel three.
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127. At which point we apprehended three
individuals and placed them in custody.
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128. I'm proud to say
the outstanding professionalism...
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129. of my fellow agents
at the Albuquerque District Office...
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130. resulted in a substantial amount
of methamphetamine...
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131. being taken off the streets.
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132. - Were any shots fired?
- No, ma'am.
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133. Our agents took the suspects
by surprise.
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134. - Damn. The TV does add 10 pounds.
- Ten pounds?
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135. Hey, sit and spin, both of you.
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136. - Hank.
- What?
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137. Sorry. You didn't see that.
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138. So charming.
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139. —clearly an ongoing operation.
One which was well-organized...
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140. - Hank, how much money is that?
- It's about 700 grand.
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141. It was a pretty good haul.
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142. As I say, it's a good day
for the citizens of Albuquerque...
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143. when we can put this big a dent
in the local drug trade.
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144. Well, that's unusual, isn't it?
That kind of cash?
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145. Well, it's not the most we ever took.
It's easy money, till we catch you.
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146. Walt, just say the word
and I'll take you on a ride-along.
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147. You can watch us knock down
a meth lab, huh?
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148. Get a little excitement in your life.
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149. Yeah, someday.
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150. Which one's this?
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151. That faux-Lalique vase
I picked up at the Super-Swap.
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152. How's it doing?
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153. Well, I met my reserve
and there's still two minutes.
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154. What's up?
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155. You tell me, birthday boy.
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156. Oh, hey, so, what's up for Saturday?
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157. Car wash.
Bogdan says he needs me.
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158. - Till what time? Noon, 1-ish?
- Probably 2, more like it.
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159. And then what after that?
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160. Actually...
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161. I was thinking of driving up
to Los Alamos. They've got this—
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162. The visitor center has an exhibit on
that's really supposed to be—
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163. - You're not gonna paint?
- No, I'll paint.
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164. It's just that this—
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165. You know, this exhibition
on the Mars-rover photographs are...
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166. I mean, the detail
really is just supposed to be amazing.
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167. It's just that I really need you to paint
at some point.
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168. The sooner that back bedroom
gets finished...
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169. I know.
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170. And I'd do it myself, except you don't
want me on the stepladder.
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171. - I will paint.
- Okay.
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172. - What is going on down there?
- No, it's—
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173. Is he asleep?
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174. No, it's nothing. He's just...
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175. You know. Well, you gotta be careful
about the baby and—
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176. Well, don't worry about the baby.
This is just for you.
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177. We are just doing you tonight.
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178. So just close your eyes...
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179. relax, and let it...
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180. - Close your eyes.
- Oh, okay.
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181. Okay.
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182. There you go.
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183. That's it.
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184. That's it.
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185. There you go.
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186. Keep it going.
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187. Keep it going.
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188. Keep it going.
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189. Keep— Yes! Fifty-six.
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190. This is so embarrassing.
I am fine, honestly.
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191. It's just some bug going around.
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192. First, my wife had it, then my son,
and now me.
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193. It's just— It's just like a chest cold.
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194. Could be some low blood sugar
as well.
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195. I didn't have the greatest breakfast
this morning. Honestly, I didn't.
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196. Hey, listen, can you do me a favor?
Can you just...
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197. drop me off at a corner
somewhere?
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198. No, sorry.
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199. It's just that
I don't have the greatest insurance.
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200. Take a couple of deep breaths
for me.
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201. Is there anybody
you want us to contact for you?
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202. No. God, no.
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203. Lean forward for me, would you?
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204. - Mr. White, are you a smoker?
- No, never.
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205. Why do you ask?
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206. Mr. White?
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207. Mr. White?
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208. Yes?
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209. You understood
what I've just said to you?
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210. Yes.
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211. Lung cancer. Inoperable.
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212. I'm sorry. I just need to make sure
you fully understand.
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213. Best-case scenario, with chemo,
I'll live maybe another couple years.
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214. It's just...
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215. you've got mustard on your...
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216. Right there. You got mustard there.
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217. Right there.
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218. So my records show that I paid it...
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219. and I certainly don't feel
that we owe any late—
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220. Yeah, all right.
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221. Well, I'll check with the bank
and maybe the post office...
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222. if they lost it or something.
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223. Yeah, let me look into that. Okay.
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224. Thank you.
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225. Hey.
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226. Hey.
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227. Did you use the MasterCard
last month?
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228. Fifteen eighty-eight at Staples?
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229. We needed printer paper.
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230. Walt, the MasterCard's
the one we don't use.
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231. Okay.
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232. So how was your day?
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233. Oh, you know.
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234. I don't know. It was...
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235. fine.
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236. Hey, Walter.
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237. Walter.
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238. Walter. I'm shorthanded.
I need you outside to do wipe downs.
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239. - Come on.
- What?
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240. I said I need you
to do some wipe downs.
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241. Are you here to work,
or to stare at the skies?
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242. Come on. Let's go.
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243. Come on, man.
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244. Fuck you, Bogdan.
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245. - What?
- I said, "fuck you." And your eyebrows.
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246. Wipe down this.
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247. Hank? Hank, it's Walt. Hey.
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248. Oh, listen. I didn't wake you, did I?
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249. Oh, good, good.
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250. Oh, no, no.
Nothing's wrong. I just...
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251. I've been thinking about
that offer of that ride-along.
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252. It's the last house on the right.
See it?
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253. Not the two-story one,
the one next to it.
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254. Kind of... I don't know,
what do you call that?
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255. - Green?
- Sage.
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256. Sage?
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257. Do you work at the fucking
Pottery Barn? Jesus.
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258. Sage. That's the word for it.
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259. My fault the only word
your dumb-ass knows is "green"?
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260. "Cheese-dick." I know that one.
How about that?
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261. Anyway, it's the sage one. See it?
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262. So, what tells you it's a meth lab?
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263. Just our snitch.
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264. Says some dude who
goes by "Cap'n Cook"...
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265. lives up to his name in there.
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266. Says he always adds
a dash of chili powder.
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267. You exuberant Mexicans.
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268. "Cap'n Cook"?
That's a white boy's name.
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269. Dopey as hell too.
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270. Yeah? I'll tell you what.
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271. I got you 20 bucks
that says he's a beaner.
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272. - All right.
- You're on.
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273. All right.
Come on, come on, come on.
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274. All right. School bus is clear.
You got the green light.
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275. Copy that.
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276. Watch this. Makes them shit.
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277. Go, go, go, go!
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278. Meth labs are nasty on a good day.
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279. You mix that shit wrong
and you got mustard gas.
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280. Phosphine gas.
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281. - I think.
- Yeah, exactly.
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282. One whiff will kill you.
That's why the respirators.
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283. House is clear.
One suspect in custody.
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284. Copy that. The suspect...
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285. might he be of
the Latino persuasion?
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286. Driver's license says
"Emilio Koyama."
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287. - Asian. Pay up, sucker.
- Hey, hey. First name, Emilio.
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288. That's at least half a beaner.
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289. Tell you what, I'll let you off for a 10.
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290. Cheer up, Gomey.
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291. - You people still got J. Lo.
- Hank.
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292. Do you think I might
get to go inside?
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293. See the actual lab?
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294. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what,
we're gonna go peek our heads in...
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295. check it out first.
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296. Stay here a minute. Let's go, Frank.
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297. Oh, God.
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298. Oh, God.
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299. Oh, my God.
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300. Pinkman?
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301. Cap'n.
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302. Hey. It's me. I'm alone.
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303. - How'd you find me?
- You're still in our filing system.
Copy !req
304. So your aunt owns this place, right?
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305. I own it.
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306. Look, no one's looking for you.
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307. Why are you here?
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308. I was curious.
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309. Honestly, I never expected
you to amount to much...
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310. but methamphetamine?
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311. I didn't picture that.
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312. - There's a lot of money in it, huh?
- Don't know what you're talking about.
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313. - No?
- Not a clue.
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314. Cap'n Cook?
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315. That's not you?
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316. Like I said,
no one is looking for you.
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317. Look, I don't know what you think
you're doing here, Mr. White.
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318. I mean, if you're planning
on giving me some...
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319. bull-winder about getting right
with Jesus or turning myself in—
Copy !req
320. - Not really.
- High school was a long time ago.
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321. You ain't Welcome Back, Kotter,
so step off. No speeches.
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322. Short speech.
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323. You lost your partner today.
What's-his-name.
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324. Emilio?
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325. Emilio is going to prison.
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326. The DEA took all your money,
your lab.
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327. You've got nothing.
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328. Square one.
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329. But you know the business...
Copy !req
330. and I know the chemistry.
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331. I'm thinking...
Copy !req
332. maybe you and I could partner up.
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333. You wanna cook crystal meth?
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334. You.
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335. You and me.
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336. That's right.
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337. Either that, or I turn you in.
Copy !req
338. - What the hell is this?
- Damned if I know.
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339. I described it as mosaic folk art.
Copy !req
340. - And somebody bought it?
- Yeah, some guy in Minneapolis.
Copy !req
341. Fourteen dollars plus shipping. Yes.
Copy !req
342. At this rate,
in 50 or 60 years you'll be rich.
Copy !req
343. - So how goes the novel?
- It's not a novel, actually, which I—
Copy !req
344. You're not writing a novel?
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345. - You told me you were.
- No. Short stories.
Copy !req
346. I said that if eventually
I have enough good ones...
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347. that maybe I'll try...
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348. and publish another collection.
Copy !req
349. Those really didn't sell.
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350. I just thought a novel
would be easier to sell.
Copy !req
351. Yeah, well, maybe so.
Copy !req
352. Ever want me to read anything,
I could critique it for you.
Copy !req
353. No.
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354. I mean, I'm just not
at that stage where I...
Copy !req
355. - No.
- Open offer.
Copy !req
356. - So, what's up with Walt lately?
- What do you mean? He's fine.
Copy !req
357. He just seems...
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358. I don't know. Quieter than usual.
Copy !req
359. Turning 50 is a big deal.
Copy !req
360. I mean, I'm sure as hell
not looking forward to 40.
Copy !req
361. You're gonna be a basket-case.
Copy !req
362. - So it's a mid-life crisis.
- No. He's just quiet.
Copy !req
363. - How's the sex?
- Marie, Jesus.
Copy !req
364. I guess that answers that.
Copy !req
365. You just gonna sit there?
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366. Look at this. Look at this.
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367. Kjeldahl-style recovery flask,
800 millilitres. Very rare.
Copy !req
368. You got your usual paraphernalia,
Griffin beakers...
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369. your Erlenmeyer flask.
But the pièce de résistance...
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370. a round-bottom boiling flask,
5000 millilitres.
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371. I cook in one of those. A big one.
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372. One of these?
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373. No, this is an volumetric flask.
You wouldn't cook in one of these.
Copy !req
374. - Yeah. I do.
- No, you don't.
Copy !req
375. A volumetric flask is for
general mixing and titration.
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376. You wouldn't apply heat
to a volumetric flask.
Copy !req
377. That's what a boiling flask is for.
Copy !req
378. Did you learn nothing
from my chemistry class?
Copy !req
379. No. You flunked me, remember?
Copy !req
380. - No wonder.
- Prick.
Copy !req
381. And let me tell you something else.
This ain't chemistry.
Copy !req
382. Okay, this is art.
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383. Cooking is art...
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384. and shit I cook is the bomb,
so don't be telling me.
Copy !req
385. Shit you cook is shit.
Copy !req
386. I saw your setup. Ridiculous.
Copy !req
387. You and I will not make garbage.
Copy !req
388. We will produce a chemically pure
and stable product...
Copy !req
389. that performs as advertised.
No adulterants.
Copy !req
390. - No baby formula. No chili powder.
- No, no. Chili P's my signature.
Copy !req
391. Not anymore.
Copy !req
392. Yeah, well, we'll see about that.
Copy !req
393. - What the hell is this?
- Lab safety equipment.
Copy !req
394. We're also gonna have
an emergency eye-wash station.
Copy !req
395. These chemicals
and their fumes are toxic.
Copy !req
396. In case you didn't you know that.
Copy !req
397. Well, you can dress up
like a faggot if you want. Not me.
Copy !req
398. Listen, this stuff doesn't
stay more than a day.
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399. - I thought we were gonna cook here.
- No, we're not gonna cook here.
Copy !req
400. Okay, this is my house.
I don't shit where I eat.
Copy !req
401. - Well, then where are we gonna work?
- You tell me.
Copy !req
402. This is your deal. You wanna smoke
it up, smoke it up at your house.
Copy !req
403. No, I didn't think so. Oh, well.
Copy !req
404. Well...
Copy !req
405. what if we rented one of those
self-storage places?
Copy !req
406. You know, those little orange garages?
Worked out of there?
Copy !req
407. No, they're onto that.
They've got dogs that sniff around.
Copy !req
408. RV, that's what you want.
Copy !req
409. What, like a Winnebago?
Copy !req
410. Yeah.
Copy !req
411. I know a dude who wants to sell his.
He just goes camping with it.
Copy !req
412. But a mobile meth lab?
That'd be the bomb.
Copy !req
413. I mean, you can drive way out
in the boonies.
Copy !req
414. Be all evasive.
Copy !req
415. Dude, this isn't even 7 grand,
all right? My guy wants 85.
Copy !req
416. This is all the money
I have in the world.
Copy !req
417. You're a drug dealer. Negotiate.
Copy !req
418. You are not how I remember
you from class.
Copy !req
419. - I mean, like, not at all.
- Yeah, well, I gotta go.
Copy !req
420. Wait. Wait. Hold up.
Copy !req
421. Tell me why you're doing this.
Seriously.
Copy !req
422. - Why do you do it?
- Money, mainly.
Copy !req
423. - There you go.
- No, come on, man.
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424. Some straight like you,
giant stick up his ass...
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425. all a sudden at age, what, 60,
he's just gonna break bad?
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426. - I'm 50.
- It's weird, is all.
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427. Okay, it doesn't compute. Listen...
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428. if you've gone crazy or something...
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429. I mean, if you've gone crazy,
or depressed.
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430. I'm just saying.
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431. That's something
I need to know about.
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432. Okay, I mean, that affects me.
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433. I am awake.
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434. What?
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435. Buy the RV.
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436. We start tomorrow.
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437. How's it coming in there?
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438. Fine.
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439. Do you want me or your dad?
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440. Dad.
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441. So how are those feeling in the waist?
Are they too tight?
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442. You don't want to get them
if they're too tight.
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443. They're— They're pretty shrunk.
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444. Are you sure you don't want the—?
Like a different kind?
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445. Like, you know, the skinny jeans...
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446. because those are in style.
The skaters wear them.
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447. - Do I look like a skater?
- All right.
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448. Mom, get them, my big-boy pants.
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449. Mommy, could you zip up
my big-boy pants?
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450. - Don't.
- What?
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451. - Don't.
- Walt.
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452. I have no idea.
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453. No, you know what?
Don't even look at them.
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454. - They're obviously very stupid.
- Yep.
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455. Yeah.
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456. I think that— I think those jeans
look really good on you.
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457. I think you should get them
if you like them, okay?
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458. Why don't you hang out here
for a second? I'll be right back.
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459. Fine.
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460. Hey, Mommy, I think I pinched a loaf
in my brand-new big-boy pants.
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461. - What are you doing?
- What's wrong? Having trouble walking?
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462. Get off me! Get off me!
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463. I'll mess you up, man.
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464. You'll have one shot.
You'd better make it good.
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465. You waiting for your girlfriends?
Better go.
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466. You'd better go. Take it.
Take your shot. Take it!
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467. Come on.
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468. - Come on.
- Come on, let's get out of here.
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469. Let's go.
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470. Psycho.
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471. Yeah, nothing but cows.
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472. Got some big cow house
way out that way, like two miles...
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473. but I don't see nobody.
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474. - "Cow house"?
- Yeah. Where they live.
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475. The cows.
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476. Whatever, man.
Shit, yeah. Let's cook here.
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477. Cow house.
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478. God help me.
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479. - What are you doing?
- These are my good clothes.
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480. You can't go home
smelling like a meth lab.
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481. Yeah, you can. I do.
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482. Those? Those...
You're keeping those on, right?
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483. Come on. Daylight's burning.
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484. Oh, my God.
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485. Wow, this is a good look for you.
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486. I mean, you're maybe only
the world's second-biggest homo.
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487. Would you shut up and help me?
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488. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
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489. - Work it. Baby, work it.
- Turn that off.
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490. This is glass-grade.
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491. You got— Jesus, you got crystals
in here 2 inches, 3 inches long.
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492. This is pure glass.
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493. You're a goddamn artist.
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494. This is art, Mr. White.
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495. Well, actually,
it's just basic chemistry...
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496. but thank you, Jesse.
I'm glad it's acceptable.
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497. Acceptable?
You're the goddamn Iron Chef.
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498. Every jibhead from here to Timbuktu's
gonna want a taste.
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499. - Man, I gotta try this.
- No. No.
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500. No. We only sell it. We don't use it.
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501. Okay, since when?
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502. Listen, you've been watching
way too much Miami Vice.
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503. That ain't happening.
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504. So, what now?
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505. How do we proceed?
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506. We cook more tomorrow.
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507. Meantime...
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508. I know just the guy to talk to.
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509. Get him. Come on.
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510. Hey, yo. Kraze, how you doing,
my man?
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511. Hey, you got a new dog.
Right on, man.
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512. What's his name?
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513. Yeah, I had a dog like that once,
except maybe like twice as big.
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514. Super-purebred.
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515. Now, me personally, I would train him
to go straight for the nutsack.
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516. Just shut your mouth
and show me your money.
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517. I ain't buying, ése.
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518. I'm selling.
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519. Tell me that ain't the finest scante
you ever laid eyes on.
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520. Go ahead. Try it.
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521. Hey, poochie. How you doing?
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522. Jesus Christ.
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523. Yeah. Booya! See, what'd I say?
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524. - It's all right.
- It's all right?
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525. It's all right? Yeah, it's all right.
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526. - So what? You're back in business?
- Hell, yeah, I'm back.
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527. With a vengeance.
Vato loco gotta make a living.
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528. You know, with your cousin
gone away and all...
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529. And listen, homes, about that...
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530. Really broke me up about Emilio.
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531. That dude is like my brother.
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532. - You okay? You talk to him?
- Yeah, I talk to him.
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533. Said when the feds came, you were
out sticking it in some neighbor lady.
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534. - Hey, you know, I got lucky twice.
- I don't know, man.
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535. Emilio...
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536. he thinks maybe
you dimed on him.
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537. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
That is bullshit.
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538. That is bullshit, Krazy, eh?
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539. I should kick his punk ass
for even thinking that.
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540. You know what? Next time
you talk to Emilio...
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541. you tell him for me, all right?
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542. Why don't you tell him yourself?
Made bail this morning.
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543. Go ahead, pendejo. Kick my ass.
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544. Hey, listen—
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545. Where did you get this?
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546. Because I know your little punk ass
didn't cook it.
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547. Damn, man. What are you,
some kind of nudist?
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548. Yeah, that's some stone-fine tick-tick
you been cooking there, ése.
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549. How about you come work for me?
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550. I'd be willing to sell it to you...
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551. if the price is right.
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552. Out here all by yourself, huh?
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553. Hey, I know you.
He was there when I got busted.
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554. - He's with the DEA.
- No.
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555. You rata snitch motherfucker.
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556. Run, Mr. White! Run!
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557. I say we cap them both.
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558. You really cook up that batch?
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559. - Yeah.
- You an artist.
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560. - It's a damn shame.
- Wait.
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561. Wait a minute.
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562. Listen to me.
I'll teach you my recipe, huh?
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563. What do you say?
You wanna cook like me?
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564. You let us both live...
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565. and I will teach you, huh?
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566. Put the cigarette out.
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567. Please...
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568. Move it, homes. Ain't got all day.
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569. Okay.
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570. Shit!
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571. What happened?
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572. Hey, what'd you do to them?
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573. Red phosphorus in the presence
of moisture and accelerated by heat...
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574. yields phosphorus hydride.
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575. Phosphine gas.
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576. One good whiff and...
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577. We gotta...
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578. We gotta clean this up.
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579. Where were you?
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580. Walt...
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581. I don't know what's
been going on with you lately...
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582. - ... but—
- Nothing, honey. I'm fine.
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583. Whatever it is, I'll tell you this.
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584. I do not like it
when you don't talk to me.
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585. The worst thing you can do
is shut me out.
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586. Walt...
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587. Oh, Walt, is that you?
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