1. 'Kin hell, you're holding me up…Copy !req
2. Yeah, you are.Copy !req
3. I'm trying to get a wriggle on for you,
and you keep bellin' me up.Copy !req
4. Yeah, I've got the Tutankhamun.Copy !req
5. Listen, I'll be ten minutes.Copy !req
6. Ten minutes.Copy !req
7. Or maybe less.Copy !req
8. Oh, shit…Copy !req
9. Spontaneous theft.Copy !req
10. Christ, it's been ages
since I did one of them.Copy !req
11. - Can you see to it?
- Yeah. I'll scratch the sealCopy !req
12. and then give it a little spray.
You checked around?Copy !req
13. Not yet. You do the front.
I'll do the back.Copy !req
14. - No way!
- What is it?Copy !req
15. Antiques.
- Antiques?Copy !req
16. Yeah. Nicked it from outside
this antique shop in Walton.Copy !req
17. - The hell is this?
- Ooh! That's an old dildo.Copy !req
18. - No, it's not.
- 'Course it is!Copy !req
19. - It can't be.
- Look at the bellend.Copy !req
20. We'll take it down the pawn shop.Copy !req
21. Sly Si will be all over these, man.Copy !req
22. Safe.Copy !req
23. Here he is. Top shagger.
How's it going, Si?Copy !req
24. [Si] All right, Vin.Copy !req
25. - What've you got for me?
- I'll tell you what I've got for you.Copy !req
26. Some genuine,
none of your replica antiques there.Copy !req
27. [Si] Antiques?Copy !req
28. Silver spoons, you've got
a snuff box, flintlock guns, some sort of…Copy !req
29. weird…Copy !req
30. A weird table ornament thing.Copy !req
31. - [Si] Nice. Nice.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
32. - She's a beaut.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
33. - Hmm. 'Kin hell!
- I know, it's big, innit?Copy !req
34. - Is this for horses?
- Is it fuck for horses!Copy !req
35. - It's got a horse on it.
- Yeah, but it's…Copy !req
36. It's fucking decorative.Copy !req
37. Yeah, why would a horse want a dildo?Copy !req
38. - "Decorative."
- Yeah.Copy !req
39. It's for looking at while you…Copy !req
40. Do you want to buy it or not?Copy !req
41. No, it's too weird for me.Copy !req
42. This is a pawn shop, not a porn shop.Copy !req
43. - I'll have the rest, though.Copy !req
44. Two hundred.
- Three hundred.Copy !req
45. - Two.
- Two-fifty.Copy !req
46. Two.Copy !req
47. - Two-two-five.
- Two.Copy !req
48. For fu…Copy !req
49. Done.Copy !req
50. Shit.Copy !req
51. What are you doing in that?
Get out of her!Copy !req
52. Hey! If you've been conducting
criminal business in my princess…Copy !req
53. Oi! Calm down. I'm doing you a favour.Copy !req
54. JJ asked me to drop it off for you.Copy !req
55. - Is it fixed?
- No, no.Copy !req
56. He told me to return it still broke.Copy !req
57. - How's she driving?
- It's good. Said she's got years in her.Copy !req
58. - "Beast." They were the words he used.
- "Beast," eh?Copy !req
59. See? See?Copy !req
60. Him, next door, He-Man,
Master of the Universe…Copy !req
61. - Mockin' me, he was.Copy !req
62. - It's not funny!Copy !req
63. He drove past in his blue
fucking Japanese Tonka toy.Copy !req
64. What he doesn't realise is that
this is a classic, proper machinery,Copy !req
65. built to last by British hands, eh?Copy !req
66. That's the trouble
with the Europeans, you know?Copy !req
67. No, no, no.Copy !req
68. Boring, boring. I've got things to do.Copy !req
69. Each to their own, son. Each to their own.Copy !req
70. Paslowski…Copy !req
71. - See you managed to resuscitate her.
- Uh, you what? Hey…Copy !req
72. Workhorse, this, mate.Copy !req
73. A beast. Live forever.Copy !req
74. Not like this… commun-y car.Copy !req
75. Jealousy, jealousy.Copy !req
76. "Jealous"? This is a man's truck.Copy !req
77. Hey, my dad had this before me,Copy !req
78. and my son, if I had one,
would have it after.Copy !req
79. - Hey, listen to this, eh?Copy !req
80. Hear it and weep!Copy !req
81. 2.4 diesel, four-cylinder.Copy !req
82. The most powerful
street vehicle ever produced!Copy !req
83. It's like a symphony!Copy !req
84. I'll tell you what,
this'll beat that in a race, mate.Copy !req
85. Yeah, downhill, while this is in reverse.Copy !req
86. You cheeky bastard.Copy !req
87. You look like a girl with that haircut!Copy !req
88. Hey, there's nowt wrong with this hair!Copy !req
89. Eh!Copy !req
90. What a beast! What a bad boy!Copy !req
91. Laughing, are you? Huh?Copy !req
92. - You!
- See what you made me do!Copy !req
93. - I'm gonna fucking…
- You made me do that!Copy !req
94. My windscreen, you prick!Copy !req
95. Jim… Jim! Oi!Copy !req
96. Jim?Copy !req
97. Jim, I'm sorry…Copy !req
98. Cunt.Copy !req
99. Oh, watch out. There you go.Copy !req
100. Right, remember,
you're in after-school club tonight.Copy !req
101. I've written Mrs Worthington a note,
but Marcus will be there.Copy !req
102. - Yeah.
- Yeah, so you'll have fun.Copy !req
103. Listen, Mummy's got
her last two exams today,Copy !req
104. so when they're over,
Mummy won't have to work so hard.Copy !req
105. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
106. Yeah!Copy !req
107. Dylan's gonna take you to school
and I'll pick you up, yeah?Copy !req
108. Okay. Love you, baby. Bye.Copy !req
109. - All right, wish me luck.
Good luck!Copy !req
110. You don't need it.Copy !req
111. Ah.Copy !req
112. 'Ey up, Si. Do you want it after all?Copy !req
113. Vin, where did you get them antiques?Copy !req
114. You know the bloody rules. Ask me
no questions, I'll tell you no lies.Copy !req
115. - Si, listen, you know—
- Fuck the rules.Copy !req
116. I'm in deep shit here.Copy !req
117. You just tell me where
you nicked them antiques from.Copy !req
118. I… I didn't nick… Well, I did.Copy !req
119. I nicked a car, and the antiques,
they were in the boot.Copy !req
120. - What's going on?
- Just get down here.Copy !req
121. - Why?
- Just get down here now.Copy !req
122. Don't tell anyone you're coming.Copy !req
123. All right. Si, what's going…Copy !req
124. Si?Copy !req
125. Oi!Copy !req
126. Get up, you little fucker. Get up!Copy !req
127. History lesson for you, Vinnie.Copy !req
128. I know you're not well-educated,
so, uh… let me enlighten you.Copy !req
129. The term "dildo" was first coined
in around 1400 AD.Copy !req
130. It originates from the Latin dilatare,Copy !req
131. which means "open wide."Copy !req
132. The dick, Vincent.Copy !req
133. The penis, the slongker,
the cock, the old fella…Copy !req
134. has been revered and replicated
since the start of humanity.Copy !req
135. And now, you…Copy !req
136. and you…Copy !req
137. are about to lose yours.Copy !req
138. [Si] No. Please. It was him.
You heard.Copy !req
139. Shut it.Copy !req
140. - Where's my antique dildo?
- On a… On a farm.Copy !req
141. - Which farm?
- Jim's farm.Copy !req
142. I can… I can get it back, though.Copy !req
143. Who stole 'em?Copy !req
144. I don't know.Copy !req
145. - Who was driving the car you nicked?
- I don't know…Copy !req
146. Oh, fuck! A… A young guy.Copy !req
147. Fuck, I didn't really see him.Copy !req
148. He might have had… brown hair.Copy !req
149. Told you, didn't I?
In the hospital, do you remember?Copy !req
150. I said, "If our paths cross again—"Copy !req
151. I know, but all this…
I didn't know it had things…Copy !req
152. I didn't know it had your things in it.
I'll get 'em back!Copy !req
153. I'll fuck… I'll get you whatever you want!Copy !req
154. - Cut his dick off.
- No, no, no! Give me an hour!Copy !req
155. Give me one hour! Give me one hour!
I know where it is.Copy !req
156. - This is just a mistake, this.
- All right, you, trousers off.Copy !req
157. What?Copy !req
158. I… I could find out
the owner of that car.Copy !req
159. I fucking can…Copy !req
160. I'll find out… I'll get it back.Copy !req
161. My… My… My friend's a mechanic.Copy !req
162. Fucking trousers off!Copy !req
163. My friend's a mechanic…Copy !req
164. - Boxers.
Fuck…Copy !req
165. Boxers.Copy !req
166. Mr… Mr McCann…Copy !req
167. No! Wait, wait!Copy !req
168. Just… Just… Don't…Copy !req
169. All right, now, say bye-bye to it.Copy !req
170. Why? Why?Copy !req
171. - Say bye-bye.
- Fuck…Copy !req
172. This is fucking madness, man.Copy !req
173. - Say it!
- Bye, bye, bye… bye.Copy !req
174. Properly.Copy !req
175. You can't do this. Don't…Copy !req
176. Please don't cut my dick off
in a pawn shop, man.Copy !req
177. - Don't… Don't… Fuck.
- Vin!Copy !req
178. You will always remember…Copy !req
179. the moment before you become dickless.Copy !req
180. It's the end of one life
and the start of another.Copy !req
181. Pre and post-dick.Copy !req
182. I have been badly betrayed,Copy !req
183. and the only people
with knowledge of my antiquesCopy !req
184. are people that know my house,
people who come and go,Copy !req
185. people with regular access.Copy !req
186. I want to fucking know.Copy !req
187. I have to fucking know.Copy !req
188. I can find out.Copy !req
189. I fucking can. I can find out.Copy !req
190. Okay…Copy !req
191. You find out who took that dildo,
you keep your dick.Copy !req
192. You don't… it comes off.Copy !req
193. Do we understand ourselves?Copy !req
194. Yeah.Copy !req
195. - Do we fucking understand each other?Copy !req
196. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.Copy !req
197. - So, it went well?
- Yeah, it was firing outta me.Copy !req
198. You know that feeling whenCopy !req
199. you're trying to grab it
all from your brainCopy !req
200. and then slam it
perfectly in a piece of paper?Copy !req
201. In semi-coherent sentences, yeah.Copy !req
202. I'm sure you did great. What's now?Copy !req
203. Uh, marketing.
Feeling all right about it, actually.Copy !req
204. I've done so much revision for it.Copy !req
205. - I'll be surprised—
Erin.Copy !req
206. - Dylan, what is it? What's happened?Copy !req
207. I need to talk to you.Copy !req
208. In private.Copy !req
209. Well, um, we're on
the way to the last exam.Copy !req
210. It starts in five minutes.Copy !req
211. - Dylan…
- What?Copy !req
212. - Come on.
- Dylan, what the fuck? What is it?Copy !req
213. Now, start talking.Copy !req
214. Shit.Copy !req
215. All right, look, Dylan…Copy !req
216. Is it gone?Copy !req
217. You're not showing and,
what, this is weeks ago, so…Copy !req
218. is it gone?Copy !req
219. Yeah.Copy !req
220. Was it mine?Copy !req
221. - What?
- Or was it his?Copy !req
222. Fucking… college boy.Copy !req
223. Because if you went
and had a secret abortion, Erin,Copy !req
224. then it can't have been mine,
can it, because…Copy !req
225. Because we're a couple,
and there is no fucking way, yeah,Copy !req
226. that you would go off on your own
and have my baby fucking killed!Copy !req
227. It was yours.Copy !req
228. Look, I'm sorry, Okay. It was a mistake.Copy !req
229. I messed up with the pill.Copy !req
230. We were shagging hard that month,
do you remember? It was…Copy !req
231. It was never meant to happen.
We hadn't planned it,Copy !req
232. - we hadn't discussed it.
- So, you just got rid of it, yeah?Copy !req
233. - Without… Without so much as…
- I'm sorry. I…Copy !req
234. Dylan, I need to go
to this exam, honestly.Copy !req
235. - If I'm not in that room—
- Fuck your exam!Copy !req
236. All right, look, I didn't tell you,
not because I don't love you,Copy !req
237. 'cause I knew you'd make it
difficult for me,Copy !req
238. and I couldn't face it, all right?Copy !req
239. I've already had a kid by mistake once.Copy !req
240. I didn't want another one,
not now, not here,Copy !req
241. not in this shit-hole we're in.Copy !req
242. - Not with me?Copy !req
243. - That's what you're saying.
- I'm not saying that!Copy !req
244. Kept Vinnie's one, though, didn't you?Copy !req
245. How did you know that?Copy !req
246. Has Vinnie said something to you?Copy !req
247. No, my best friend
didn't tell me anything.Copy !req
248. I heard you talking.Copy !req
249. When Ronnie was here, you and Vinnie
were talking about Tyler.Copy !req
250. When did you screw him?Copy !req
251. Right,
we were both off our heads.Copy !req
252. - We weren't even together then!
- Right.Copy !req
253. Something else
you didn't tell me. Was he good?Copy !req
254. - Dylan!
- Was he fucking good, Erin?Copy !req
255. - My best mate that you shagged!
- It was a mistake.Copy !req
256. - Another one?
- Yes, another one.Copy !req
257. And I didn't wanna tell anyone,Copy !req
258. because I thought it'd be better
that I didn't.Copy !req
259. I'm sorry.Copy !req
260. Honestly, I really need to go.
I need to do this.Copy !req
261. Am I… Do I mean that little to you?Copy !req
262. No.Copy !req
263. Am I so low on your fucking list?Copy !req
264. Fuck you, Erin. Fuck you,
for getting rid of that kid.Copy !req
265. - Dylan…
- I'm sick of trying to please you.Copy !req
266. I'm sick of feeling like
I'm not good enough.Copy !req
267. And do you know what?
Fucking hell, I was willingCopy !req
268. to keep my mouth shut
about Vinnie and Tyler, just…Copy !req
269. for all of us. Just let it ride. But this…Copy !req
270. …it's unforgivable.Copy !req
271. Dylan! Dylan!Copy !req
272. - Do your exam!Copy !req
273. - Erin…
- No. I'm okay. Just one minute.Copy !req
274. Whatever's happened, you need to go.
You've got two minutes.Copy !req
275. - I can't.
- No, you have to.Copy !req
276. I can't, I can't!Copy !req
277. - If they close that door you've missed it.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
278. Parcel it away for two hours.Copy !req
279. Put it in a box,
and do not look at it. Come on.Copy !req
280. - No!
- Come on!Copy !req
281. It'll still be here, afterwards,
waiting for you. Please, Erin.Copy !req
282. All right, look, I…Copy !req
283. I'm gonna pull you.
I don't want to hurt you,Copy !req
284. but I will drag you to that exam.Copy !req
285. - Come on.
- I can't. Okay.Copy !req
286. Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey…Copy !req
287. Look, she's here.
Please, it's five seconds.Copy !req
288. Jim! Jim! Jim!Copy !req
289. - What?
- I need the…Copy !req
290. What the fuck's happened to you?Copy !req
291. That blond bastard attacked me.Copy !req
292. Almost killed me, he did.Copy !req
293. - I'm pressing charges. It's GBH.
- All right. Yeah.Copy !req
294. - It's violent assault.
- All right.Copy !req
295. I don't know what it is—Copy !req
296. Jim! Listen, the antique… I left it
in your Land Rover, where is it now?Copy !req
297. - Cock-shaped?
- Yeah.Copy !req
298. That's what the bastard threw at me!Copy !req
299. What do you mean?
How is he throwing it at youCopy !req
300. - when I left it in your truck?
- I know, but, um…Copy !req
301. I kind of, uh… I threw it at… not him!Copy !req
302. - What have you…
- His car!Copy !req
303. - Where is it now?
- No idea.Copy !req
304. Take it up with that Polish prick.Copy !req
305. Oh, you… Fuck, dude.Copy !req
306. - Shirley?Copy !req
307. Shirley! Fuck.Copy !req
308. - Shirley!
- What do you want?Copy !req
309. - The object you threw at Jim, it's mine.
- That dildo?Copy !req
310. - Yeah, where is it?
- The dog's got it. Why have—Copy !req
311. - What d'ya mean, the fucking dog's got it?
- Petula, she's got it.Copy !req
312. - But she's not chewed it?
- 'Course she's chewed it.Copy !req
313. What do you think she's done?
Pleasured herself?Copy !req
314. - Where's the dog now?
- In the barn.Copy !req
315. As far as I'm concerned,
it's hers now. Finders keepers.Copy !req
316. "Finders keepers."
It's thousands of years old, Shirley.Copy !req
317. Your stupid hair…Copy !req
318. - Hey! Not the hair!
- Terrible hair.Copy !req
319. It's a good job I'm not
wearing my yard boots!Copy !req
320. Shit! Petula!Copy !req
321. - Pet… Shit.Copy !req
322. Shit… Petula, Petula.Copy !req
323. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
324. Be cool, will ya? It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
325. Everything's all right. Everything's good.Copy !req
326. Just come to get my dildo.Copy !req
327. Cool, be cool…Copy !req
328. Petula…Copy !req
329. Petula. Please, please.
Be careful with the shaft!Copy !req
330. Be careful with the bellend!
My dick depends on this!Copy !req
331. My dick depends on this! Please let go!Copy !req
332. Let go. Don't, don't, don't…
Shit. Shit. No, no, no.Copy !req
333. - Petu… Petu… Petula, Petula!
- [snarling, growling]Copy !req
334. It's an antique.Copy !req
335. It's an antique.Copy !req
336. You're chewing…
You're chewing the eye, dude.Copy !req
337. You're chewing…
You're chewing the urethra.Copy !req
338. The bellend!Copy !req
339. I knew it! You've chewed the bellend!Copy !req
340. Take your dildo, get off my farm.Copy !req
341. That's been inside ancient fannies.Copy !req
342. Now Petula's had her chops around it.Copy !req
343. Tell someone who gives a shit.Copy !req
344. JJ! J… Shit!Copy !req
345. J… JJ! Tom!Copy !req
346. Tom? Thomas!Copy !req
347. - Where's JJ at?
- Under there.Copy !req
348. Shit.Copy !req
349. JJ? JJ. JJ, dude.Copy !req
350. The fucking car, the car
that I nicked, where is it?Copy !req
351. Gone, sold it. How good is that?Copy !req
352. Oh, no, that's not good.
It's not good at all!Copy !req
353. - I need it back!
- Why? Whose is it?Copy !req
354. We need to find out.
Still got the original plates?Copy !req
355. - You all right, Vin?
- No, I'm not!Copy !req
356. I'm very much not all right, dude!Copy !req
357. The fucking antiques, that big dildo,Copy !req
358. that all belongs to Terence McCann.Copy !req
359. - He's gonna cut my dick off.
- Hang about.Copy !req
360. - Hang about, a dildo? Terence McCann?
- Shh.Copy !req
361. Thomas, we don't have time.Copy !req
362. Listen, you need to find that car,
find them plates, dude.Copy !req
363. - All right, okay.
- He said he's gonna cut my dick off.Copy !req
364. JJ, he said he was gonna cut my dick off.Copy !req
365. Nearly cut it off
at the fucking pawn shop…Copy !req
366. - Oh! Bingo!
- Yeah? Found it?Copy !req
367. - Better than that. Bingo balls.
- Oh, come on…Copy !req
368. - Who throws them away?
- Knobhead.Copy !req
369. Young and keen, 14. Knock at the door, 24.Copy !req
370. Oh, hang on. Your favourite, madam, 69.Copy !req
371. - Here!
- Found it? Is that it?Copy !req
372. - Yeah.
- Which one?Copy !req
373. - I can't remember.
- Fuck!Copy !req
374. Think about it, dude. Come on, man!Copy !req
375. All right, okay. Well, this one's newer.Copy !req
376. It was older, wasn't it?Copy !req
377. - Come on.
- Uh…Copy !req
378. - That one. That one? Sure?
- Yeah. I think.Copy !req
379. - You think? Fuck!
- Yeah.Copy !req
380. - The office, dude. Come to the office.
- Blind 90…Copy !req
381. Hang on!Copy !req
382. Audi 80, green, and the owner is…Copy !req
383. - Gary Cullen.
- Abracadavers?Copy !req
384. - Ring it again.
- No! No, you don't.Copy !req
385. - Who's dead now? What do you want?
- You had a vehicle nicked?Copy !req
386. - Me? No. Why?
- Look, a car registeredCopy !req
387. to this address got nicked
and brought to my garage.Copy !req
388. - What the fuck? Right…
- You better start talking.Copy !req
389. I lent it to a mate.
I know that sounds lame,Copy !req
390. but I genuinely did lend it
to a mate of mine.Copy !req
391. - Mentioned it's been nicked?
- No. Not yet.Copy !req
392. - Who's the mate?
- You don't know him.Copy !req
393. - Give us his name.
- Steve. Look, what's the deal?Copy !req
394. Did you bring my car back?
If you did, thanks.Copy !req
395. You get a free embalming
next time you need it.Copy !req
396. - Gary, shut up. We need to talk to him.
- Why?Copy !req
397. Because your mate Steve has landed us
all in a lot of shit over here.Copy !req
398. - Give us his… Call him up.
- No.Copy !req
399. - Give me his number.
- What did he do?Copy !req
400. - Give me his fucking number…
- Oh, Jesus Christ!Copy !req
401. I swear to God, I'll rip your head off.Copy !req
402. All right! Relax!
Don't roast the toast. Fuck!Copy !req
403. Never should have let him take it.
Can't be fucking trusted.Copy !req
404. Here. Answering machine.Copy !req
405. Hi, this is Stephen McCann.Copy !req
406. Leave a message and I'll call you back.Copy !req
407. "McCann"?Copy !req
408. "Stephen McCann."Copy !req
409. - I know you're Tyler's father.
Fucking hell.Copy !req
410. - That hurt.
- Yeah? Come on.Copy !req
411. Fucking come back at me.Copy !req
412. - No.
- Fucking…Copy !req
413. - Will you fucking come back at me?
- Dylan. Fucking hell, dude.Copy !req
414. I'm not gonna do that, man.Copy !req
415. - She's told you, has she?
- No.Copy !req
416. No, she didn't.
You know what? I found out.Copy !req
417. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
418. And then after I found out,
I went looking for proof,Copy !req
419. and while I was looking for proof,
man, I found something else.Copy !req
420. - What? Regarding what?
- Regarding my child, Vin!Copy !req
421. - The one she got rid of!
- Mate…Copy !req
422. Don't fucking "mate" me!Copy !req
423. - Don't you fucking do that!
- Dylan…Copy !req
424. You knew! You…Copy !req
425. Well, Dylan, I fucking told her.Copy !req
426. I said you'd be a brilliant dad.
I set you had rights.Copy !req
427. - I fucking told her and I told her.
- You screwed her.Copy !req
428. - You weren't even with her, man.
- So?Copy !req
429. Do you know what?
You've created a life with her,Copy !req
430. and she kept it, man.Copy !req
431. She kept yours and she got rid of mine.Copy !req
432. Dylan, mate, it was a one-off.Copy !req
433. I don't even remember it. I was so fucked.Copy !req
434. You. You're his dad.Copy !req
435. You're the one who's always there.Copy !req
436. And as for his real dad,
it's better he's just some prickCopy !req
437. that fucked off, you know?Copy !req
438. I'll be Uncle Vinnie if that's what works,Copy !req
439. and that's what I'll be.Copy !req
440. Fucking suits you, all of this.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
441. - Fucking works in your favour.
- Fuck me, how's that?Copy !req
442. What, fucking Erin, me,
torn apart. She leaves.Copy !req
443. I'll stay and you, you selfish bastard,Copy !req
444. - you get me all to yourself.
- A lot of bollocks, dude.Copy !req
445. - Is it?
- 'Course it is.Copy !req
446. Dylan, I only ever want
what's best for you, man.Copy !req
447. - Do ya?
- Yes.Copy !req
448. Right, come here…Copy !req
449. What if having a baby with Erin…Copy !req
450. is best for me?Copy !req
451. Did you ever think about that?Copy !req
452. What if that's the thing
I've always wanted,Copy !req
453. but I've been too scared to say it?Copy !req
454. What then?Copy !req
455. I'm gonna tell you something now,Copy !req
456. and I'm gonna tell you,
because you're my mate.Copy !req
457. Why have you never committed to her, huh?Copy !req
458. Why have you never shown herCopy !req
459. that you want
a proper relationship with her?Copy !req
460. You've got the most amazing girl, Dylan,Copy !req
461. and you spend all your fucking timeCopy !req
462. dicking around with us knobheads
getting stoned.Copy !req
463. What she did was bang out of order,
but ask yourself this…Copy !req
464. Why didn't she tell ya?Copy !req
465. I've gotta get this.Copy !req
466. You might think your life's
falling apart right now, Dylan,Copy !req
467. but I'm telling you now,
it can get a fuck side worse.Copy !req
468. Stephen…Copy !req
469. So, how've… How've you got Gary's car?Copy !req
470. - Were you the one that nicked it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
471. Right.Copy !req
472. - Thanks.Copy !req
473. I didn't know it was Gary's.Copy !req
474. And I didn't know it had a load
of antiques in the bloody boot, either.Copy !req
475. Right.Copy !req
476. Antiques that belong to your father.Copy !req
477. Antiques he wants back.Copy !req
478. Tough titty.Copy !req
479. It's tough titty for you, Stephen,Copy !req
480. 'cause I'm gonna have to tell him
you took 'em, mate.Copy !req
481. - You won't do that.
- Will I not?Copy !req
482. No.Copy !req
483. He's threatening to cut my dick off, man.Copy !req
484. Huh…Copy !req
485. You've got a problem, then, haven't you?Copy !req
486. Mm.Copy !req
487. Huh.Copy !req
488. See, the thing, uh…Copy !req
489. about my dad is…Copy !req
490. he's very big on… denial.Copy !req
491. I don't know how well you know him,Copy !req
492. but he's very much a man of appearancesCopy !req
493. and, uh, reputation.Copy !req
494. So, having a son like me…Copy !req
495. it's a disappointment.Copy !req
496. Yeah, he resents me not beingCopy !req
497. a version of himself.Copy !req
498. He wanted a…Copy !req
499. successor…Copy !req
500. someone ruthless to help
with the family business.Copy !req
501. I was never that kid.Copy !req
502. I tried, but I've always enjoyed,
uh… theatre.Copy !req
503. Uh, I like dance and literature.Copy !req
504. And, um… cock.Copy !req
505. Mm.Copy !req
506. So, if you go to him,Copy !req
507. and you tell him it was me…Copy !req
508. and that you found me through, uh…Copy !req
509. my lover's car…Copy !req
510. Are you and… You and Gary?Copy !req
511. I'll tell you what he'll do.Copy !req
512. He'll shoot the messenger.Copy !req
513. Or in your case, um…Copy !req
514. cut the messenger's dick off.Copy !req
515. It's funny, I'm bipolar, you know?Copy !req
516. Christ, I can get really depressed.Copy !req
517. And there are times where I just think…Copy !req
518. would it be better
if I just ended it, you know?Copy !req
519. Fucking made it all go away.Copy !req
520. And yet, faced with this,
I'm really scared, man.Copy !req
521. I feel like a little lad
who needs his mum.Copy !req
522. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
523. Stephen, you're gonna
have to help me, man.Copy !req
524. Well, uh…Copy !req
525. I suppose there's one thing we could try.Copy !req
526. Ready?Copy !req
527. Mm.Copy !req
528. "Dad, something terrible's happened.Copy !req
529. "Lydia! I need to speak to Dad quick!Copy !req
530. "Dad, Dad. Oh, my God. Come on!"Copy !req
531. "What… What am I gonna do?Copy !req
532. "Something awful happened.
There was a guy in the pub and…"Copy !req
533. Dad! Dad! Dad!Copy !req
534. - Stephen!
- Mum! Where's Dad? I need Dad.Copy !req
535. - What's happened?
- Someone's dead.Copy !req
536. Terry! Terry!Copy !req
537. - Jesus…
- Keep them inside!Copy !req
538. - Oh…
- You, out there! Hot water, fresh clothes.Copy !req
539. I'm sorry, I was scared.Copy !req
540. Calm down. Calm down!Copy !req
541. What's happened? Talk.Copy !req
542. There was a guy in the pub,
and he topped himself,Copy !req
543. and there was blood everywhere
in the bathroom,Copy !req
544. and he wrote a suicide note,
he was blaming you.Copy !req
545. It said, "Terence McCann made me do it."Copy !req
546. And then there was a commotion,Copy !req
547. and everyone's going crazy,
saying that you're a killer,Copy !req
548. saying they were gonna tell everyone.Copy !req
549. He slit his fucking throat.Copy !req
550. I got his blood on me.Copy !req
551. Did they call the cops?Copy !req
552. - I don't know. I don't know.
- Who was it? Who topped himself?Copy !req
553. - Did you get a name?
- Vincent something.Copy !req
554. Um, Vinnie, uh, O'Neill.Copy !req
555. Bastard.Copy !req
556. You realise this is crazy,
don't you?Copy !req
557. You realise this is literally
the stupidest thingCopy !req
558. - you've ever tried?Copy !req
559. - Do I look dead?
- Yes.Copy !req
560. Check it out.Copy !req
561. Right, even if he falls for it,
other people won't.Copy !req
562. - They're gonna see you, and then what?
- I'm gonna lie low.Copy !req
563. - For the rest of your life?
- Well…Copy !req
564. He'll have forgot about me
in a few weeks, won't he?Copy !req
565. Probably wanna cut
someone else's dick off.Copy !req
566. - Now, listen.
- Hmm?Copy !req
567. I've been saving some money.Copy !req
568. It isn't a lot.
It's just a couple of grand.Copy !req
569. It was for just in case, you know.Copy !req
570. I want you to have it.Copy !req
571. Why do you want me to have it?Copy !req
572. - It's for your new life with Tyler.
- Keep it.Copy !req
573. - Please, Erin.
- Vin, keep it.Copy !req
574. "New life"? Where am I going?Copy !req
575. I fucked everything up, and…Copy !req
576. I've broken Dylan's heart,
and messed up my last exam.Copy !req
577. It's my fate to stay here forever.
I'm stuck here.Copy !req
578. - Don't talk silly.
- It's true. It's true.Copy !req
579. When he came to me,
holding that picture of the scan…Copy !req
580. the look on his face,
it looked like he hated me.Copy !req
581. - He doesn't hate you.
- He should do…Copy !req
582. because of what I did.Copy !req
583. - Why is Nigel in there with you?Copy !req
584. I don't know. Fuckin' Cardi brought him.Copy !req
585. He's been with me
for the last three hours.Copy !req
586. - Little pigeon erections on him.Copy !req
587. Pigeon lipstick sticking out there, look.Copy !req
588. Shat on me twice.
Take it that's good luck.Copy !req
589. Gross.Copy !req
590. Do you want to run away together,
me, you, and Tyler?Copy !req
591. Do you think that would work?Copy !req
592. - Do you know what I think?
- What?Copy !req
593. I think I could make you really happy.Copy !req
594. I'd love you.Copy !req
595. I care for you.Copy !req
596. I'd be a brilliant dad to Tyler, you know?Copy !req
597. And everything would be amazing.Copy !req
598. - Thirty-four per cent of the time.Copy !req
599. - The other…
Sixty-six…Copy !req
600. It would be terrible, 'cause of this.Copy !req
601. Come here.Copy !req
602. I want to see him.Copy !req
603. - Hello.
- Believe you have a friend of mine.Copy !req
604. Vincent O'Neill.Copy !req
605. God rest his soul.Copy !req
606. I'd like to see him.Copy !req
607. - Are you a relative?
- No.Copy !req
608. - Then I'm afraid—
- We were close friends.Copy !req
609. Perhaps just this once?Copy !req
610. Give me a moment to prepare him.Copy !req
611. I can feel myself… I can feel
myself breathing! I can feel it!Copy !req
612. - Think dead.
- I'm thinking dead, Kath!Copy !req
613. It's fucking freaking me out!Copy !req
614. Chest going up and down,
having palpitations, legs twitching.Copy !req
615. He's gonna know. He's gonna take
one look at me. This is idiotic.Copy !req
616. He's gonna… Shh!Copy !req
617. I knew this would happen. Chloroform.Copy !req
618. Go, go, go! Pick it up, go, go!Copy !req
619. - Go, go.
- Go, JJ, quick!Copy !req
620. Shit. Good boy.Copy !req
621. Oh, God…Copy !req
622. Oh, bloody hell. I can't watch.Copy !req
623. That's it. I'm booking
my flight to Reykjavik.Copy !req
624. Oh, why Reykjavik?Copy !req
625. You know,
he's not gonna look there, is he?Copy !req
626. Plus, the fishing's amazing as well.Copy !req
627. I can't watch, I can't watch.
- Oh, shit…Copy !req
628. May he rest in peace.Copy !req
629. Oh, you did it!
Didn't ya? Oh, you did that?Copy !req
630. Oh, my God…Copy !req
631. - Well done, you. Clever boy. Oh, my.
- Oh!Copy !req
632. - Kiss him. Give him a kiss. Go on.
- No!Copy !req
633. Give him a little… Hey!Copy !req
634. - Give him a kiss.
- No. I don't want it…Copy !req
635. Kiss Nigel on his beak. Well done, you.Copy !req
636. He's shat on you now.Copy !req
637. - He shit all over you.
- Oh…Copy !req
638. - Hello?
Erin, I need to talk to you.Copy !req
639. Urgently.Copy !req
640. - There's some things I need to say.
- What things?Copy !req
641. I'm, um… I'm busy at the minute.
I'm at a funeral.Copy !req
642. I know. I'm outside.Copy !req
643. - What? You are kidding me?Copy !req
644. They won't let me in, so…
you'll have to come out.Copy !req
645. Yo, Dylan…Copy !req
646. Dylan, listen to me, man.Copy !req
647. Shit, dude, being dead put
a lot of things in perspective for me.Copy !req
648. Being in that coffin for real,
it makes you realise…Copy !req
649. Fuck, dude, you don't want
any regrets, man.Copy !req
650. You need to go and forgive her. You do.Copy !req
651. And then you need to set about
making yourself happy, man,Copy !req
652. and just… fucking hell, forget about me.Copy !req
653. I'll be fine.Copy !req
654. And if I'm not, that isn't
your problem, that's mine.Copy !req
655. Look, just… tell her you love her.Copy !req
656. Tell her you'll be a good dad to Tyler.Copy !req
657. And that you can be all the things
you're capable of being, Dyldo.Copy !req
658. Go on, do that now. For me, man. Please.Copy !req
659. Come on, dude.Copy !req
660. I love you, man.Copy !req
661. Erin!Copy !req
662. - Hello?
- Hello, Vin. It's Terence.Copy !req
663. So, tell me…Copy !req
664. How does it feel to be dead?Copy !req