1. - Chucking yourself off, Vinnie?Copy !req
2. You don't wanna jump off there.Copy !req
3. Not high enough.
You'll just bugger your legs up.Copy !req
4. Yeah, all right. Thanks, Ralph.
I'll bear that in mind, mate.Copy !req
5. Tower block. That's what you need.Copy !req
6. Or a fast-moving train.Copy !req
7. See you, son.Copy !req
8. - Or not.Copy !req
9. Come on, then! Come on!Copy !req
10. Fuck the middle class.
Fuck The Guardian.Copy !req
11. Fuck three holidays a year,
and drinking red wine,Copy !req
12. talking bollocks at dinner parties.
Fuck "kwinoa" and quinoa.Copy !req
13. Fuck scented candles.Copy !req
14. You can fuck your people carriers
and your posh kidsCopy !req
15. called Tilly and Tarquin.Copy !req
16. Fuck moisturiser, fuck vitamins.
Fuck lacrosse,Copy !req
17. and bloody tennis,
and 18 holes on a fucking Sunday.Copy !req
18. They call us Blair's forgotten youth.Copy !req
19. Kids that grew up in a town
that offered nothing.Copy !req
20. No opportunities, no prospects, no hope.Copy !req
21. But what they'll never understand is this,Copy !req
22. we're not victims. We just have
a different way of living.Copy !req
23. It's about having your mates, man.
Having a laugh,Copy !req
24. and just finding a way to survive.Copy !req
25. - Tell me it's not looking thinner.
- I can't tell.Copy !req
26. You can't tell
if you don't look properly, Dylan.Copy !req
27. - It's fine.
- See what I mean there?Copy !req
28. You're not even looking.Copy !req
29. What? I looked. Didn't I look?Copy !req
30. They're gaining!Copy !req
31. You are bloody glancing at him.Copy !req
32. What's less than a glance?Copy !req
33. - A peek or a glimpse.
- A glimpse?Copy !req
34. You're glimpsing!Copy !req
35. Right, look properly. Check it out, see?Copy !req
36. You're a bit… follicly challenged.Copy !req
37. - Fucking follicly challenged?Copy !req
38. - Watch out!Copy !req
39. - Oh, shit. What was that?
- It's a pheasant.Copy !req
40. - Where is it?
- I don't know. It's wedged in the grille.Copy !req
41. That's not a pheasant. That's a chicken.Copy !req
42. Why would a chicken be roaming free?
It's a pheasant.Copy !req
43. Why wouldn't a chicken…
It's a chicken, dude.Copy !req
44. - You can tell it's a chicken.
- Look at the plumage!Copy !req
45. Fuck the plumage! I cannot go bald.Copy !req
46. - They're gaining.
- They're not.Copy !req
47. I'm gonna lose 'em through Jim's field.Copy !req
48. Morning, lads!Copy !req
49. - Morning!
- Morning, Jim.Copy !req
50. - Early start, isn't it?
- Yeah, listen.Copy !req
51. - If the cops turn up, you haven't seen us.
- Lie to the police?Copy !req
52. That's perjury, that is.Copy !req
53. That's perverting the course of justice.Copy !req
54. I don't know what it is,
but it's something.Copy !req
55. Piss off. We're gonna go
and have a look at plants,Copy !req
56. - keep our heads down.
- You scratch my backCopy !req
57. and I'll scratch yours.Copy !req
58. - There's a job I need done.
- What job?Copy !req
59. Shetland pony.Copy !req
60. - Yeah, you might need to elaborate.
- And fast, yeah?Copy !req
61. - I need one stolen, so I can enterCopy !req
62. - the Royal Lancs Show this weekend.
- Why would you wanna go and do that?Copy !req
63. - There's a big purse on it.
- "Purse"?Copy !req
64. A fucking prize! Whatever!Copy !req
65. Purse! Who are you?
Robin of fucking Loxley?Copy !req
66. We haven't got time for this, Jim.Copy !req
67. Fine. Get all your weed plants off my farmCopy !req
68. and your nicked wheels
out of my chicken shed.Copy !req
69. Him, next door, Goldilocks.Copy !req
70. He's got himself a beaut.Copy !req
71. A mane like silk.Copy !req
72. - It's got to be better, Vin.
- That all this is? One-upmanship?Copy !req
73. Fucking Paslowski?Copy !req
74. He shouldn't even be here any more!Copy !req
75. I voted leave, and that cunt's
just bought a high-speed baler!Copy !req
76. - A fucking Shetland pony!
- We'll get one!Copy !req
77. Christ almighty.
Just get up the fucking hill.Copy !req
78. He's a horrible little man!Copy !req
79. - Get in the shed! Go!
- Come on, come on!Copy !req
80. Ow! My fucking hand!Copy !req
81. You've done that three times this week!Copy !req
82. These are my guys. That's Dylan.Copy !req
83. He's been my best mate since school, him.Copy !req
84. We bonded over ganja and hip-hop.Copy !req
85. Ashley Dennings,
and Leslie Tick, AKA Cardi.Copy !req
86. Cardi being short for Cardiac Arrest.Copy !req
87. He's fucking damn near useless,
but we love the daft git.Copy !req
88. Ashley's the complete opposite.
He comes from a travelling family.Copy !req
89. He can switch to extreme violence
at a moment's notice,Copy !req
90. which makes him kind of handy
to have around, really.Copy !req
91. - Fucking Shetland pony.Copy !req
92. And that's me. Vincent O'Neill.Copy !req
93. They say I've got bipolar.
I live in a shack in the woods,Copy !req
94. and if that wasn't bad enough,
I'm going bald and all.Copy !req
95. Where am I gonna find one of them?
I've got the day from hell and nowCopy !req
96. - I've got to find a tiny horse?
- I dunno.Copy !req
97. - Ash.
- If your mind has just gone,Copy !req
98. "Ash, gypsy blood, horses,"
that's pretty much racism.Copy !req
99. All right. But do you know
where to find one, though?Copy !req
100. - Of course I do.
- Brilliant. Right, well, take him, then.Copy !req
101. - I'm working!
- Fucking take him, then.Copy !req
102. - Where are you in all of this?
- Have I not just saidCopy !req
103. I've got the day from hell?
I've got a million things…Copy !req
104. I'm asking you to do one thing.
I've got a million things!Copy !req
105. A million things! Bollocks!Copy !req
106. I need to get this car to JJ. I've
gotta go to the bloody doctor's yet.Copy !req
107. The last thing I need to do
is steal a miniature horse.Copy !req
108. Ralph Roberts said he saw him
on a bridge, contemplating.Copy !req
109. - Shit.
- Oh, crap!Copy !req
110. - What is it?
- I think he's getting his arse out again.Copy !req
111. - Christ.
- Let me have a look.Copy !req
112. Have a look down there.Copy !req
113. He is getting his arse out again.Copy !req
114. Why does he do this, man?Copy !req
115. He's got the world's worst arse.Copy !req
116. JJ!Copy !req
117. - It's the wrong bleedin' car!
- Huh?Copy !req
118. It's the right colour,
it's the right style,Copy !req
119. it's the wrong fucking year, mate!
You're gonna have to unsteal this.Copy !req
120. JJ. Jehan Jovani.Copy !req
121. Legitimate mechanic,
but has a side line in stolen motors.Copy !req
122. This is bullshit, Vin.Copy !req
123. Why the fuck is there
a dead pheasant attached to it?Copy !req
124. - Thank you. Pheasant.
- It's a chicken, Dylan.Copy !req
125. - It isn't.
- Oh, come on. It's a chicken.Copy !req
126. - Dude, it's a pheasant!
- It's a chicken!Copy !req
127. No, no! Stop, stop! I'll unsteal it.
It's gonna have to be later.Copy !req
128. Not later, Vinnie. Now.
This can't stay here.Copy !req
129. I can't get fucking caught with this here.Copy !req
130. Put a cover over it.Copy !req
131. I've gotta be somewhere.
Just one hour. Please, one hour.Copy !req
132. You're an angel is what you are.
While you've got your wings on,Copy !req
133. and don't get cross, need to borrow a van.Copy !req
134. - What kind of van?
- Any kind.Copy !req
135. As long as it's big enough to fit,
say, a kind of a…Copy !req
136. - what d'you call it?
- Medium-sized horse.Copy !req
137. Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
138. Right, well, it's that or nothing.Copy !req
139. Come on.Copy !req
140. Come on!Copy !req
141. - Bacon? You've been cooking?
- Yeah, I'm starving.Copy !req
142. What have you been told about red meat?Copy !req
143. It's a myth with mammal's meat—Copy !req
144. Right, no more Ms.Copy !req
145. - Besides, Nigel likes it.
- Nigel?Copy !req
146. What the fuck have you
brought a pigeon for?Copy !req
147. His sister died.Copy !req
148. She got decapitated
in the folding deck chair.Copy !req
149. Thought it were best he wasn't on his own.Copy !req
150. So, what's the plan?Copy !req
151. - Where are we gonna lift it from?
- There's a school up in Rybrook.Copy !req
152. It's a posh place.Copy !req
153. Just up the hill, there's a stableCopy !req
154. with not one, but two Shetland ponies.Copy !req
155. Okay, but how are we gonna get it
to go with us?Copy !req
156. Well, we'll lead it by the rein.Copy !req
157. Have you ever tried to get a horse
to do something against its will?Copy !req
158. - No, but I bet you have.
- You're gonna call me a genius.Copy !req
159. - Bet you I don't.
- Chloroform.Copy !req
160. Chlo… Chloroform?Copy !req
161. I bought it down the pub
a few weeks back. It was really cheap.Copy !req
162. You get this on a rag,
over its hooter, down it goes.Copy !req
163. - That's genius.
- Put the chloroform away.Copy !req
164. But…Copy !req
165. I'm coming. I'm coming.Copy !req
166. Don't you dare come.Copy !req
167. - I still haven't.Copy !req
168. All right, finish on my tits.Copy !req
169. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
170. That's Erin.
Used to be a wild child.Copy !req
171. Shagging around landed her with a kid.Copy !req
172. Since then, she's really
pulled herself together.Copy !req
173. These days, she's a woman with a plan.Copy !req
174. - Half three, infants' gate, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
175. - Hey!
- You can't forget, Dylan.Copy !req
176. - Why would I forget?
Because…Copy !req
177. you'll meet up wi' Vinnie,
get stoned, the usual.Copy !req
178. I won't forget.Copy !req
179. It's Careers Night tonight.Copy !req
180. I'm gonna ask them about opportunities.Copy !req
181. It's gonna happen, Dylan.
As soon as I'm qualified,Copy !req
182. I'm applying for jobs
and looking for schools.Copy !req
183. - Yeah.
- Right. I won't be back till late, okay?Copy !req
184. - Bye-bye.
- Love you.Copy !req
185. Right, he's gonna need
bath, story, and bed, yeah?Copy !req
186. - Yeah.
- Bye.Copy !req
187. Where's the car, Vinnie?
- What car's that, Slater?Copy !req
188. - The one you nicked this morning.
- You must have the wrong man.Copy !req
189. Surprised you're out so early.Copy !req
190. I thought you'd be balls deep
in a dog somewhere by now.Copy !req
191. Small-time now, Vin.Copy !req
192. But small-time leads to medium-time,Copy !req
193. and medium-time, inevitably,
gets drawn into the big-time.Copy !req
194. And once you get involved
with them fuckers,Copy !req
195. you're gonna wish you got a job down
at the fish counter at Morrisons.Copy !req
196. I applied for that job. They were
looking for someone with muscles.Copy !req
197. - Fuck off, Slater.
- Dick.Copy !req
198. What have you done this time?Copy !req
199. Oh, nothing, but I'm sure
they'll think of summat.Copy !req
200. All clear?Copy !req
201. - All clear.
- Right, there's two of them.Copy !req
202. One blonde, and one white and ginger.Copy !req
203. Which one do you think
screams "prize winner"?Copy !req
204. The one with the biggest cock.Copy !req
205. Right, so…Copy !req
206. Who wants a little treat?Copy !req
207. I know I've got a good life.
I've got good mates,Copy !req
208. and it's not like shit's
going wrong all the time.Copy !req
209. I just…Copy !req
210. I just can't turn my mind off.Copy !req
211. It just runs and runs and runs,
and never stops, man.Copy !req
212. You know, one minute
I'm down in the dumps,Copy !req
213. I can barely get meself out of bed.Copy !req
214. Next minute, I'm fucking up,
wild as fuck, making stupid decisionsCopy !req
215. that affect everyone, not just me.Copy !req
216. You know, I do…
I do think about hurting meself.Copy !req
217. You know, I have suicidal thoughts.Copy !req
218. It doesn't mean I'm bloody suicidal,
though, does it?Copy !req
219. I just have the thoughts. Christ,
I was on a bridge last Friday!Copy !req
220. Ralph Roberts thought
I was tossing meself off.Copy !req
221. Throwing meself off.Copy !req
222. But what I'm trying to say is, for
as often as I think about suicide,Copy !req
223. I could never ever do it.Copy !req
224. It scares the shit out of me.Copy !req
225. You know, then there's me mates.
I don't know what they…Copy !req
226. You all right?
Am I keeping you from something?Copy !req
227. Sorry, no. It's just, erm,Copy !req
228. a personal issue.Copy !req
229. - Erm…Copy !req
230. - So you're on quetiapine?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
231. - Is it helping?
- It doesn't help my libido.Copy !req
232. Can be barely bothered to rub one out,
never mind get wi' anyone.Copy !req
233. Well…Copy !req
234. what do you want me to do, Vin?Copy !req
235. I don't know.
You're the doctor, aren't you?Copy !req
236. Well, you can try counselling.Copy !req
237. Cognitive behavioural therapy.Copy !req
238. There's a five-month
waiting list for that.Copy !req
239. - Unless you're prepared to pay.
- Pay?Copy !req
240. - What do you mean? Like, go private?Copy !req
241. I don't have that kind of money, man. I…Copy !req
242. Give me that phone.Copy !req
243. - No.
- Get off.Copy !req
244. "Net-A-Lover. Amy, 35."Copy !req
245. I'm pouring my heart out.
You're on a dating app, netting lovers.Copy !req
246. Have you tried it? It's unbelievable.Copy !req
247. Honestly, it's changed my life.
Look at this.Copy !req
248. This girl the other day, she was feral.Copy !req
249. - Look at her.
- Oh, she looks nice.Copy !req
250. My todger looks like a dog's
been at it. Look at that.Copy !req
251. - What? Bloody hell! Come on, man!Copy !req
252. That looks really sore.Copy !req
253. - And this, that's me.Copy !req
254. What happened? Did it bolt?Copy !req
255. Bolt? No, it's in the van.Copy !req
256. - In the van?
- I offered it a chocolate mouse,Copy !req
257. and it just climbed in the back.
It's a dumb animal.Copy !req
258. Can I have one?Copy !req
259. I still say
we should have chloroformed it.Copy !req
260. - Look, it's in the van.
- Yeah, but look at…Copy !req
261. Oh, God. What's that? Has it shat itself?Copy !req
262. Well, it's a horse. That's what horses do.Copy !req
263. - Oh, you dirty…Copy !req
264. - Nigel!Copy !req
265. What the fuck is…Copy !req
266. - One hour after work.
- Tommo, mate, I can't.Copy !req
267. - I've got Erin's kid.
- Bring him along.Copy !req
268. Bring him along? To help you fit
a sex swing in a spunky basement?Copy !req
269. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
270. Tommo.
Handsome, crafty, unhinged.Copy !req
271. You wouldn't want him hanging out
the back of your sister.Copy !req
272. He's had chlamydia more often
than he's had hot dinners.Copy !req
273. - It's an erotic dungeon.
- It's not an erotic dungeon.Copy !req
274. - Hasn't it got lice?
- Hang on. What time you got him till?Copy !req
275. - All night. Why?
- Er, are you not forgetting summat?Copy !req
276. - Poker match, upstairs 7:30.
- Count me out.Copy !req
277. Count you out? It's free money, mate.Copy !req
278. It's my money, it's Vinnie's money.Copy !req
279. Anyway, it's arranged. Sandy'll
look after him, won't you, Sandy?Copy !req
280. - What's that?
- Babysit Tyler tonight for Dylan.Copy !req
281. - Boys, you know I would, if I could.
- Dylan!Copy !req
282. Dylan? Dylan. 'Eh up, Tommo.
Have you heard from Ash or Cardi?Copy !req
283. - Radio silence.
- Where the fuck are they?Copy !req
284. I've tried them 100 times.Copy !req
285. - Probably bumming.
- That'll be it.Copy !req
286. They'll be bloody bumming, won't they?
Knobhead.Copy !req
287. They've been gone hours.Copy !req
288. Yeah, I should've done this job meself.Copy !req
289. I don't know why I trust these morons.Copy !req
290. Get your stuff together
so we can do a flit.Copy !req
291. I told you, I'm here till 3:00, then I've
gotta go pick up Tyler from school.Copy !req
292. Not any more you're not. Hang on a second.Copy !req
293. - Kath, love.
- You all right, Vin?Copy !req
294. Yeah, all right. I'm just
wondering, can I borrow DildoCopy !req
295. - for a few hours?
- Why do you need him?Copy !req
296. Because I've just lost two idiots
I sent to steal a Shetland pony.Copy !req
297. Well, as long as it's something important.Copy !req
298. - You got your car?
- Yep.Copy !req
299. Oh, you're an angel, dude.Copy !req
300. If you'll help me fit a sex swing
in my dungeon.Copy !req
301. Every fucker wants something!Copy !req
302. Often, the same products
are available throughout the world.Copy !req
303. So, if part of the reason for travelCopy !req
304. is to explore the unique and different,Copy !req
305. well, then the sameness factor
is a major tourism challenge.Copy !req
306. In a globalised marketplace…Copy !req
307. - It's just a drink.
- Got a boyfriend.Copy !req
308. One drink.
- Got a son as well.Copy !req
309. - A son?
- Yep.Copy !req
310. - You don't look old enough.
Smooth.Copy !req
311. No, seriously, you don't. How old?Copy !req
312. Five, wasn't planned. But he's
the best mistake I ever made.Copy !req
313. Right.Copy !req
314. - Put you off, does it?
- No.Copy !req
315. Well, it should. Every decision
I make has got one purpose,Copy !req
316. and that's to give him a better life.Copy !req
317. And your boyfriend, does he fit into that?Copy !req
318. Dylan?Copy !req
319. I'm afraid so.Copy !req
320. This school, is this the one
that Ash's fella taught at?Copy !req
321. - Yeah. Poor bastard.
- Cranial trauma.Copy !req
322. They reckon he'll never teach again.Copy !req
323. Yeah, fucking animals this family.Copy !req
324. I mean, come on.
Who gives a shit where anyoneCopy !req
325. sticks their dick any more?Copy !req
326. - Know what I mean?
- Mm.Copy !req
327. I have businessmen, barristers,
brigadiers come to my place.Copy !req
328. Some want spanking,
some want taking up the shitter,Copy !req
329. I had a lovely fella in the other day,Copy !req
330. wanted me to lick custard off his nuts.Copy !req
331. - Fair do's.
- No.Copy !req
332. Point being, we're mammals.Copy !req
333. - Yeah.
- Creatures with urges.Copy !req
334. Whether it's arseholes, fannies,
or, you know,Copy !req
335. - some granny's gummy cakehole.
- Ugh!Copy !req
336. Dicks are gonna go
in soft warm holes. End of.Copy !req
337. You're an ambassador
for a more tolerant society, Tom.Copy !req
338. - Christ. Do a left here, will you?
- Right, yeah.Copy !req
339. Oh, bollocks.Copy !req
340. - They haven't even took it, dude.
- Maybe they found one somewhere else.Copy !req
341. Like where?
The cereal aisle at Aldi? Christ.Copy !req
342. Erm, all right. Sod it.Copy !req
343. What you doing? Vin?Copy !req
344. Vin, you're not being rational. Vin!Copy !req
345. How are you gonna get it back to Jim's?Copy !req
346. - Back seat. You can walk.
- No, I'm picking up Tyler.Copy !req
347. - Fucking hell.
- Come on, you silly sod.Copy !req
348. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
349. Don't fucking frighten it.Copy !req
350. - Come on, then.
- What?Copy !req
351. - Fucking hell!
- Jesus!Copy !req
352. Jesus!Copy !req
353. - Is he trying to kill us?
- Vinnie! Vinnie!Copy !req
354. - No, no, no.
- Hey, what the hell are you…Copy !req
355. Vinnie!Copy !req
356. Run! Run! You can leave the fucking horse!Copy !req
357. - He's not fucking about!Copy !req
358. Vin! Vin!Copy !req
359. - Fuck! What is he doing?Copy !req
360. Fuck me!Copy !req
361. Oh, hey. Now we're living.Copy !req
362. - Could've fucking killed us!
- He was aiming to miss.Copy !req
363. - You fucking prick!
- Oh, don't be grumpy. Hey, Dyl.Copy !req
364. Dylan! Don't be cross.Copy !req
365. - Sex swing.Copy !req
366. All right.Copy !req
367. Come on, come on, fuck's sake.Copy !req
368. - You seeing anyone?
- Me? Christ, no.Copy !req
369. You know what I'm like.
Can't inflict this on anyone.Copy !req
370. They're hardly queueing up
for a bipolar thiefCopy !req
371. that lives in the woods.Copy !req
372. Do you want me to sort you out a paid-for?Copy !req
373. So you can empty your sack?Copy !req
374. That's a lovely offer, Tom,
but I've no libido.Copy !req
375. - How's business?
- Oh, booming, yeah.Copy !req
376. Is it?Copy !req
377. They're all getting into
that space stocking now.Copy !req
378. - What, to take up the carpet?
- No. Tyler Croft.Copy !req
379. Yeah. Croft.Copy !req
380. Sorry, yeah, the reception is bad.
You know, I'm in the hills, erm…Copy !req
381. Croft!Copy !req
382. Yeah, I'm collecting him,
but I'm running late.Copy !req
383. Can you tell his teacher
I'll be there as… Fuck!Copy !req
384. Foot down, straight to the school.Copy !req
385. Chill out, "Panicking Skywalker".Copy !req
386. He's five. They're not gonna
toss him out on his own.Copy !req
387. No, they'll ring Erin.
She'll know I've doneCopy !req
388. the exact thing she told me not to.Copy !req
389. She told you not to go looking forCopy !req
390. two morons who got lost stealing
a Shetland pony?Copy !req
391. Christ, she must really know you, Dylan.Copy !req
392. Just go faster.Copy !req
393. Why do I listen to you every time?Copy !req
394. I was at work, my day was planned,
and then as usual, you appear,Copy !req
395. - and you derail everything.
- Derail ev…Copy !req
396. Do you know,
what's that you've got up there?Copy !req
397. You've got a mind of your own.
I'll tell you why you're here, Dylan,Copy !req
398. because you bloody wanna be.
If you're looking for someone to blame,Copy !req
399. you can piss off and blame yourself.
Pissy bugger.Copy !req
400. - Mind the bloody bend, Tommo. Bend!
- Jesus!Copy !req
401. Bloody hell.Copy !req
402. It's the bloody van. Have they
crashed in the fucking hedge?Copy !req
403. Cardi. Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
404. - Bloody fumes, or summat.
- It's chloroform.Copy !req
405. If that's on their clothes,
we'll all be on the deck.Copy !req
406. - How we gonna get them out?
- Cover your face.Copy !req
407. - Ash first.
- All right.Copy !req
408. - I'll take Cardi.
- What, on your own?Copy !req
409. You'll put your bloody back out.Copy !req
410. - Go and get the pony.
- Pony?Copy !req
411. We still need the bloody horse, Dylan!Copy !req
412. - I'm supposed to be at Tyler's school!
- Pony!Copy !req
413. Dude, he's breathing weird.Copy !req
414. It's on his jeans.
They'll have to come off.Copy !req
415. Right, I'll get his jeans off.
You get Cardi.Copy !req
416. All right, dude. It's all right, mate.Copy !req
417. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
418. - What? What?
- Blood and sand, dude!Copy !req
419. - Jesus Christ!
- What?Copy !req
420. His knob's massive.Copy !req
421. - Did you know?
- What? No, I didn't know.Copy !req
422. - Did you know?
- Of course.Copy !req
423. - How?
- I just knew.Copy !req
424. We're gonna need an ambulance.Copy !req
425. Thanks!Copy !req
426. I was on my way, right?
I swear to you.Copy !req
427. I was on my way,
and then we swerved, right?Copy !req
428. We almost hit a horse.
And that is when we found the others,Copy !req
429. and I couldn't just leave them,
they were in a bad way.Copy !req
430. Will you please, please go to college?Copy !req
431. Go back to Careers Night,
'cause I will stay here, I swear.Copy !req
432. What are you so afraid of?Copy !req
433. Achieving something?Copy !req
434. Actually participating in the world? What?Copy !req
435. Maybe I just like getting stoned
and stealing things.Copy !req
436. Oh, fine.Copy !req
437. Fine, you tell yourself that.Copy !req
438. Tell yourself that's all
you're capable of.Copy !req
439. There's a smart brain in there, Dylan.
You do nothing with it.Copy !req
440. You try playing six games
of poker simultaneously!Copy !req
441. - Oh, fuck off.
- It's a joke.Copy !req
442. Erin, what am I supposed to do?Copy !req
443. Eh? What? Put a suit on?Copy !req
444. Go… Go tap a keyboard in some
fucking industrial estate, and what?Copy !req
445. Chat crap with Martin from accounts.
"All right, Martin, how are you doing?"Copy !req
446. "Good weekend? Did you watch the footie?"Copy !req
447. Fuck you. Don't make me out
to be the sensible one, all right?Copy !req
448. I'm not telling you to go
and put a suit on, am I?Copy !req
449. But stealing cars and tiny horses…
Really, Dylan?Copy !req
450. What? Is that your career, is it?Copy !req
451. You know what?
You're gonna end up in prison.Copy !req
452. You are. Or the next time you'll swerve,Copy !req
453. hit a fucking wall and I'm gonna
bury you next to your stupid mate.Copy !req
454. - I'm worried about him.
- Why?Copy !req
455. - If we leave… When we leave…
- Mm.Copy !req
456. - Who is gonna look after him?
- He'll survive, Dylan.Copy !req
457. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
458. Then why has he been seen
on the edge of a bridge?Copy !req
459. All right. All right, so, what?Copy !req
460. What are we gonna do?
We're gonna stay here forever, are we?Copy !req
461. You can't dedicate your life
to Vinnie-watch, Dylan.Copy !req
462. Have you thought that he might be on
the bridge because you told himCopy !req
463. - you're thinking about leaving?
- No, that's shit.Copy !req
464. Is it? He's bipolar!Copy !req
465. He's on meds, he doesn't…Copy !req
466. He doesn't need you, Dylan. He wants you.Copy !req
467. Having you around stops him
thinking about his own life.Copy !req
468. You endorse each other.Copy !req
469. Look, just…Copy !req
470. go to college, all right?
Come on, I'm here.Copy !req
471. And I will not leave this house,
all right? I promise.Copy !req
472. Come on.Copy !req
473. - Come on.Copy !req
474. Get Dylan at that card game tonight.Copy !req
475. He's playing wi' our money,Copy !req
476. - and I need them winnings.
- Mm.Copy !req
477. I need 'em, too, but you heard him
earlier having a bloody go at me.Copy !req
478. There's a big purse available, Vin.
He's the best player there is.Copy !req
479. Purse. What is it with everyone
and the word "purse"?Copy !req
480. - Listen, I'll do my best…
All right, Vin?Copy !req
481. You all right? You all right, Geoff?Copy !req
482. - How's your mum?
- Oh, she's over the worst now.Copy !req
483. Thanks for asking.Copy !req
484. - All right, well, send her my love.
- I will.Copy !req
485. Good stuff.Copy !req
486. - So…Copy !req
487. - Is that your horse in the yard?
- I…Copy !req
488. Geoffrey, that one's spoken for.Copy !req
489. Cheeky bastard.Copy !req
490. Eh?Copy !req
491. - It's blonde.
- So?Copy !req
492. So, I didn't ask you
to steal a blonde one, did I?Copy !req
493. No, dickhead, you didn't specify.Copy !req
494. You said, "Steal me a pony." So, there.Copy !req
495. Whoever owns it is gonna
recognise it a mile off.Copy !req
496. Jimbo! I don't know what to tell you.
You said, "Steal me a pony."Copy !req
497. So, I got you one. Bloody hell.Copy !req
498. - Hang on.Copy !req
499. I've got an idea.Copy !req
500. "Lose The Grey"?Copy !req
501. I couldn't shift the bloody stuff.Copy !req
502. Fuck's sake.Copy !req
503. I'm doing all right.Copy !req
504. You got to get
right under the layers, you see.Copy !req
505. The devil's in the detail.Copy !req
506. You fucking missed a bit.Copy !req
507. Don't like being behind it.Copy !req
508. - I think this is gonna bloody work!
- This is well gonna work.Copy !req
509. Make sure you don't miss
anything on the legs.Copy !req
510. There's not like
a surplus of tiny horses knocking around.Copy !req
511. It's a Shetland pony, not a horse!Copy !req
512. There we go.Copy !req
513. Look, look, I've told you
I'll cover for you.Copy !req
514. - No!
- Well, you're gonnaCopy !req
515. make enough in one night to see youCopy !req
516. - and Erin right for a month.
- I'm with Tyler! I gave my word!Copy !req
517. Yeah, you did. You gave your word.Copy !req
518. You gave your word to Tommo,
you gave your word to me.Copy !req
519. Do you know I've got an hole in my roof?Copy !req
520. Huh? I've got a fucking hole.
I'm sleeping in a sou'westerCopy !req
521. and bloody long johns. I look ridiculous.Copy !req
522. Listen to logic, right?Copy !req
523. - Erin's out till what, 10 o'clock, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
524. - Tyler's gonna be in bed, isn't he?
- Yeah.Copy !req
525. And you're gonna be sat downstairs
watching bollocks on YouTube.Copy !req
526. So, if I'm sat downstairs
watching bollocks on YouTube,Copy !req
527. what's the bloody difference?Copy !req
528. - No.
- As long as you're back before she is,Copy !req
529. what's the difference, Dylan?Copy !req
530. No! Mate, no means no, all right?
I'm hanging up the phone.Copy !req
531. No, no, Dylan. Don't hang up the phone.Copy !req
532. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted.Copy !req
533. How about this? I'll ring Big Sandy,
and I'll see if she can babysit.Copy !req
534. She can't, and even if she could, no.Copy !req
535. Vin, mate, you're doing that thingCopy !req
536. where you don't think
about anyone but yourself.Copy !req
537. Think of anyone but mys…Copy !req
538. Dylan, I'm trying to make you money!Copy !req
539. I'm trying to make you the money!Copy !req
540. I said, "I'll do it."
"I'll do it, I'll count cards."Copy !req
541. I can fucking bluff. I can do all that.Copy !req
542. And when I fucking win,
which I absolutely will,Copy !req
543. you're getting zilch.
Fuck all. Sweet FA, dude.Copy !req
544. So, don't come pissing and whingeing
to me when you and Erin are skint.Copy !req
545. - Fuck.Copy !req
546. - 'Ey up, JJ, what's going on?
- Oh, just shut it, all right?Copy !req
547. I've had the police at my garage.
Get the wheels out of there.Copy !req
548. All right. It's just…Copy !req
549. Dude, it's been a fucking nightmare day.Copy !req
550. - Have you diverted them?
- Yes.Copy !req
551. But just get rid.
Get me the one I asked for.Copy !req
552. - I will.
- You've sent me to drink, Vin,Copy !req
553. fucking drink.Copy !req
554. JJ?Copy !req
555. Fuck!Copy !req
556. You all right, Dyl?Copy !req
557. What can I get you gents?Copy !req
558. Vincent O'Neill.Copy !req
559. - Who?
- I said I'm looking for Vincent O'Neill.Copy !req
560. Do you know where he is?Copy !req
561. - No.
- Skinny lad, receding hairline.Copy !req
562. We need to find him.Copy !req
563. - All right?
- Two rules.Copy !req
564. Don't eat anything
and don't smoke indoors, and…Copy !req
565. do not take your shoes off…Copy !req
566. 'cause that stink lingers.Copy !req
567. That's three rules.Copy !req
568. - Who were they?
- They work for Terence McCann.Copy !req
569. - Who?
- Terence McCann,Copy !req
570. businessman, in inverted commas.Copy !req
571. Apparently, he isn't very happy,Copy !req
572. because one of his daughter's ponies
has been stolen.Copy !req
573. Shit. Vinnie.Copy !req
574. JJ? I've unstolen it, man.Copy !req
575. I've got to get you
the other one tomorrow.Copy !req
576. [JJ] Vinnie, Vinnie. There's a problem.Copy !req
577. All right, that fucking pony,Copy !req
578. - you have to give it back.
- What?Copy !req
579. It belongs to Terence McCann.Copy !req
580. - Now he said—
- Terence McFucking…Copy !req
581. - Who the fuck… Hang on a minute.Copy !req
582. - Got a call coming through here.
- All right.Copy !req
583. - Jim, what's going on, man?
- I've just seen a flashlightCopy !req
584. heading down the path
towards your shack, Vin.Copy !req
585. You wanna check you haven't got visitors.Copy !req
586. Oh, shit.Copy !req
587. All right, I'm on my way.Copy !req
588. Nine. Three of a kind.Copy !req
589. Shit!Copy !req
590. All right, I'm armed.
I don't want any trouble.Copy !req
591. Dad!Copy !req
592. - You're going a bit thin there, son!
- Eh?Copy !req
593. Piss off. What, she thrown
you out again, has she?Copy !req
594. - No. Her husband's got early release.
- Oh.Copy !req
595. Mm.Copy !req
596. I've got to go, but I'll see you later.
See you tomorrow.Copy !req
597. Fuck's sake!Copy !req
598. - Didn't know you had a unicycle.
- All right, Jake?Copy !req
599. Lift? Throw the bike in the back?Copy !req
600. Er, no, you're all right.
I'll get a bus. It's fine.Copy !req
601. I've got a Duran Duran CD.Copy !req
602. Dad's car.Copy !req
603. Yeah, Okay. All right, thank you.Copy !req
604. - What the bloody hell's going on, Dyl?
- It's not my night.Copy !req
605. Make it your night.
You're better than these twats.Copy !req
606. Look, mate. I can't focus.Copy !req
607. You're losing a lot of money, sweetheart.Copy !req
608. More importantly, yeah,
you're losing a lot of my money.Copy !req
609. - What do you want me to say?
- Nothing existsCopy !req
610. outside of this room, Dylan.Copy !req
611. Now sit the fuck back down
and do what you do best, all right?Copy !req
612. There's a good lad.Copy !req
613. Sing it.Copy !req
614. You know it! You know it!Copy !req
615. Oh, hey, how's it going, mate?Copy !req
616. - Where am I?
- Oh, I've had to take you out for a bit,Copy !req
617. but I'm sorry,
I'm gonna take you home now.Copy !req
618. - Who lives there?
- I live there.Copy !req
619. - Can I go inside?
- No, not really.Copy !req
620. I've gotta get you home, dude.Copy !req
621. - Please!
- There's a fat, bald monster in there.Copy !req
622. - You're not gonna like it.
- Oh, please!Copy !req
623. Yeah, go on. Five minutes.Copy !req
624. We're not staying long, you know.Copy !req
625. So, this is home, is it?Copy !req
626. For now, yeah.Copy !req
627. Let's just say it doesn't feature
in the master plan.Copy !req
628. Looks all right.Copy !req
629. There's thousands of towns like
this all over the country, getting by.Copy !req
630. No one gives a shit about them…Copy !req
631. until it turns into the Wild West.Copy !req
632. I want my son to know different.
Know what I mean?Copy !req
633. Fancy continuing this dissection
of societal disintegration over a pint?Copy !req
634. You're not easily put off, are you?Copy !req
635. No, I need to get back.
Dylan's looking after Tyler.Copy !req
636. You've got a boyfriend. You've got a son.Copy !req
637. So, as friends?Copy !req
638. All right, one pint. One.Copy !req
639. Aren't you scared being
out here on your own at night?Copy !req
640. No, am I 'eck! I love
being out here in the woods.Copy !req
641. The woods is the only place
I can get a bit of bloody peace.Copy !req
642. Can I bring my mum here?Copy !req
643. 'Course you can. You can bring her
anytime you want. Yeah, 'course.Copy !req
644. My mum can bounce an egg on her head.Copy !req
645. - Can she really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
646. No, she can't. Can she really?Copy !req
647. My God. That's some bloody skill,
innit? I can't.Copy !req
648. I love your mum.Copy !req
649. She's an eggs-traordinary woman.Copy !req
650. What's your mum like?Copy !req
651. My mum, she's not around any more.Copy !req
652. - Is she dead?
- No, she's not dead.Copy !req
653. She just went away when I was little.Copy !req
654. - Like my dad?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
655. Even though I hope she'll come back,
you know.Copy !req
656. I think that's why I stay in this town.Copy !req
657. So if she does come back, you know,
she might know where to find me, see?Copy !req
658. I like the funny dog.Copy !req
659. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
660. It's an owl.Copy !req
661. All right, Kath?
Can I have a pint of lagerCopy !req
662. and a pint of Guinness, please?Copy !req
663. - For your new fella?
- No, he's a college mate.Copy !req
664. I believe ya. Thousands wouldn't.Copy !req
665. Mind you, it'd be a bold move
bringing your fancy manCopy !req
666. - in your own local.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
667. Especially with them lot all upstairs.Copy !req
668. - What lot?
- Poker game. Dylan's in there.Copy !req
669. - Wanker.
What? Wait!Copy !req
670. Erin! Erin!Copy !req
671. Erin, Erin. Wait! Erin, Tyler's fine.Copy !req
672. Vinnie's looking after him.
He's safe. They're home.Copy !req
673. You wanna buy some chloroform?Copy !req
674. Vinnie's looking after him!Copy !req
675. - Good evening?
- Shit.Copy !req
676. - You?
- Terrible.Copy !req
677. What happened?Copy !req
678. - Vinnie.
- Erin.Copy !req
679. - Thanks for minding him for me.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.Copy !req
680. - Can we have a minute?Copy !req
681. Listen, it's my fault, you know.
I shouldn't have done—Copy !req
682. It's not, it's not.
It's his, 'cause he listens to you.Copy !req
683. There's three of us in this, isn't there?Copy !req
684. In this relationship.Copy !req
685. Well, if there is,
I'm the one getting the least sex.Copy !req
686. I'm not saying it's you or me, Vin, okay?Copy !req
687. I'll never make that threat.Copy !req
688. But one day soon, I will leave with Tyler,Copy !req
689. and I won't be coming back.Copy !req
690. And he needs to decide what life he wants.Copy !req
691. I'm glad to see you both awake.
How you feeling?Copy !req
692. - Terrible.
- Heartbroken.Copy !req
693. - Nigel.
- Never mind bloody Nigel.Copy !req
694. Honest to God, he's a bird
and he's free now,Copy !req
695. so just be happy for him.Copy !req
696. - Fucking chloroform!
- It's his stupid fault!Copy !req
697. If he'd let me use it on the horse,
none of this would've happened.Copy !req
698. - Yeah, it's my fault.
- When will they let you out?Copy !req
699. A few days. It takes
a while to leave the system,Copy !req
700. but you know what they sayCopy !req
701. - about convalescence.
- Fresh air.Copy !req
702. - No!Copy !req
703. Your pony's a cunt.Copy !req
704. Your pony's a cunt.Copy !req
705. Good lad.Copy !req
706. - Go on, Jim.
- Vincent O'Neill?Copy !req
707. - Who's asking?
- Terence McCann.Copy !req
708. Wants to discuss small horses.Copy !req
709. You must have the wrong lad.
I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
710. Have it your way.Copy !req
711. A word to the wise…Copy !req
712. He's not a man to make an enemy of.Copy !req
713. Sometimes it's only later
when you look back,Copy !req
714. you realise when the turning point came.Copy !req
715. The moment in your life
when everything changed.Copy !req
716. For me, for us.Copy !req
717. Christ, for all of us.Copy !req
718. It was stealing a blonde Shetland ponyCopy !req
719. for a xenophobic farmer.Copy !req
720. One minute you can be there, full of life…Copy !req
721. - It's Big Sandy.
- What about her?Copy !req
722. - …next, you're gone.
- How am I gonna lift her?Copy !req
723. I'm on my own today!
Get the fat fuck moved!Copy !req
724. - On Big Sandy's funeral.
- On it.Copy !req
725. I don't want her beaten up.
Just a straight message.Copy !req
726. Slide in a few tunes,
roll up a couple of fat ones and…Copy !req
727. - Where are they?
- I don't know. Ow!Copy !req
728. What the fuck are you doing down here?Copy !req
729. There's been a t-t-tiny hiccup.Copy !req