1. Shawn and Angela
are so cute together.
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2. Maybe next weekend, the
four of us could go out...
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3. "The four of us."
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4. What?
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5. Shawn's two-week rule.
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6. So I guess that's it. It's over.
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7. Two weeks. You knew
that going in.
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8. I did.
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9. Wait. Where
are you going?
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10. Oh, I'm sorry.
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11. I thought you were done
letting me down easy.
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12. Go ahead.
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13. Never mind.
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14. Are you okay?
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15. You're just
taking this so well.
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16. It was a great two weeks.
We had fun.
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17. Yeah. We did.
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18. So?
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19. So...
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20. See ya?
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21. That Angela's all right.
I'm gonna miss her.
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22. Well, then why did you
break up with her?
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23. As they say south of the
border, dos semanas.
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24. Shawn, you guys were
really getting along!
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25. You know, your
two-week rule is dumb.
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26. No, no, no. His
one-week rule was dumb.
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27. His two-week rule
shows growth.
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28. Shawn, just face it. You're
afraid to make a commitment.
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29. I'm not afraid
to make a...
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30. I've been with
Cory for 15 years.
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31. Ah, they've been
good years.
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32. You worked
very hard at it.
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33. Hey, it takes two.
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34. Stop!
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35. You're afraid to
get to know someone.
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36. You're afraid of letting
someone get to know you.
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37. And unless
you get over this,
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38. you're going to go
through life all alone.
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39. Except for Cory, who will bring
you magazines and pudding.
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40. There. I think
I got through to him.
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41. Sure, you did, honey, and
now he wants to hear
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42. what she has to say.
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43. What did Topanga mean about
me being afraid to commit?
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44. You know, most relationships
don't work out,
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45. and I just want to get out
before anyone gets hurt, okay?
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46. Shawn, we just want
you to be happy.
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47. Mmm-hmm.
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48. Hey, look.
Somebody left their purse.
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49. Hmm.
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50. Hey, Mr. Feeny,
we found this purse.
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51. Who runs
the lost and found?
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52. I do, Mr. Matthews.
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53. I teach English,
history and film,
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54. and I run
the lost and found.
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55. We'll put up a notice.
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56. Would you?
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57. Maybe you should go through
it and see if there's any ID.
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58. No. Not gonna.
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59. I once went through
my mom's purse.
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60. Yeah. I can't
look at her anymore.
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61. Okay. Stand back.
I'm going in.
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62. Okay. No wallet. No ID.
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63. Well, there's got to
be something in there
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64. that lets us know
who she is, right?
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65. Lip gloss. She cares
about her lips.
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66. Hmm.
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67. Kiwi mango.
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68. No way!
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69. Kiwi...
That is so sexy!
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70. Do you know that
the Ted Koppel show
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71. called that "the lip gloss
of forbidden love"?
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72. And look at this,
a book of sonnets.
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73. Shakespeare,
I hear he's good.
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74. Notice the bookmark.
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75. A ticket stub to
a Van Damme movie.
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76. Only the greatest
actor ever made.
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77. Okay, so what we got here is a
purse-losing, lips-protecting,
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78. poetry-reading,
Van Damme-loving gal.
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79. Wow. I'd give
her two weeks.
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80. Mr. Feeny!
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81. What is it,
Mr. Matthews?
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82. Crisis at college. I have
a really big test, okay?
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83. And test scores are
important in college.
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84. It turns out they base
all the grades on them.
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85. So let's get
cracking, okay?
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86. Eric, it's time you
did this on your own.
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87. Now, you're fine.
You have all the skills.
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88. Hey...
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89. You're tutoring another
student in there, aren't you?
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90. I'm sure I don't know what
you're talking about.
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91. It's Kevin McDougal,
isn't it?
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92. The kid from
the other side.
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93. Eric, you have the
ability to do fine.
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94. Now, just study
the materials.
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95. I have
confidence in you.
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96. I just wish you had
confidence in yourself.
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97. Good luck,
my boy.
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98. He's a professional tutor!
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99. You mean
nothing to him!
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100. All right.
Here's an easy one.
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101. The Louisiana Purchase?
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102. I don't know!
Stop hounding me!
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103. Come on, man!
Two guys? 1800s?
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104. Lewis and...
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105. Lewis.
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106. The Lewis twins.
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107. Oh, man, who am I kidding?
I don't belong in college.
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108. Look, just hit the
books a little harder.
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109. I'll be back, and we'll
try it again, okay?
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110. All right.
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111. Come on, Eric,
you can do this.
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112. Just relax and focus.
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113. Columbus.
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114. Cortes.
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115. Marco...
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116. Come on. Marco...
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117. I can't believe this!
Marco...
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118. Polo.
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119. Marco...
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120. Polo.
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121. Mr. Feeny, what are
you doing here?
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122. I'm here to help you.
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123. Who are you
talking to?
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124. Oh, Jack, right.
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125. You remember
my mentor, Mr. Feeny.
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126. Yes, I do. Who are
you talking to?
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127. Uh, Mr. Feeny.
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128. The British guy on our
couch right there.
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129. I'm from Boston,
you boob.
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130. Uh, excuse me.
A little respect.
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131. You're a guest
in my house.
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132. Excuse me.
I pay rent here.
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133. I'm talking
to Mr. Feeny.
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134. Oh. Your mentor.
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135. Yeah.
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136. On the couch.
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137. Mr... The guy!
Right there!
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138. On our couch! Eating
our beer nuts!
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139. Mmm, nutty.
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140. Okay, I'm leaving.
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141. Man, did I pick a
rudie for a roommate.
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142. He acts like you
don't even exist.
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143. He can't see me.
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144. Only you can see me.
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145. And only you can see me because I
exist only in your imagination.
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146. Okay. So why
are you here?
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147. To take you
to the library.
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148. You need to study, and
I'm here to help you.
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149. That makes sense. Can you
just hang on one second?
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150. Jack?
Yeah.
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151. Hey, buddy,
quick question.
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152. Uh, Feeny or no Feeny?
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153. No Feeny.
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154. Thank you. You ready?
I'm driving. Come on.
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155. Hey.
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156. Anyone call about
that purse yet?
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157. "Love is not love
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158. "Which alters when
it alteration finds
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159. "Or bends with
the remover to remove"
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160. No one called, huh? Bummer.
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161. Anyway, listen.
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162. Topanga and I were talking
about your problem.
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163. I don't have
a problem.
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164. We feel that if you
met the right girl...
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165. Wait, wait, wait.
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166. Is this you or
Topanga talking?
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167. She decided we're
one person. Anyway,
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168. Topanga's got this friend.
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169. Debra.
No. No, no, no.
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170. I don't want
to be fixed up.
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171. Hey, you know what else
I found in this purse?
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172. A guitar pick,
a Greenpeace sticker
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173. and a box of Sno-Caps,
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174. only the greatest
movie snack ever made.
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175. Wait a minute.
Shawn. Listen.
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176. Don't you want
that feeling?
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177. What feeling?
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178. You know, that feeling you get
when you meet someone special.
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179. It's the feeling I get every
day when I'm with Topanga.
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180. You know, it's warm
and happy and fuzzy.
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181. I can't describe it,
but there are bunnies.
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182. Lots of bunnies.
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183. You know, we just want you
to have that feeling. Okay?
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184. So meet Debbie.
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185. Fine. I'll meet Debbie.
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186. Good.
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187. I wonder if Debbie's
anything like this girl.
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188. What girl?
The purse girl.
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189. Did you know that she
likes classical music?
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190. Shawn, you hate
classical music.
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191. Well, I just never
gave it a chance.
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192. This is the part
where the violin rocks!
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193. Shawn, Shawn, please don't. Don't.
Don't do this, okay?
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194. Because your
date, Debbie,
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195. is under the impression
that you don't do this.
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196. Okay.
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197. Hello, ladies.
Hello, hello. Hi.
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198. And Debbie, how are you? Hi.
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199. I'm Cory, and this is my
best friend, Shawn Hunter.
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200. You're very thin!
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201. Is that bad?
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202. Oh, no!
It's good.
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203. Low impact, high impact,
kickboxing, cross training.
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204. What are you doing?
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205. Because whatever
it is, it's working.
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206. I eat a lot
of burgers.
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207. Good! Good!
Eat fat to burn fat.
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208. Debbie is an
aerobics instructor!
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209. Really!
No!
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210. Excellent, excellent!
Excellent! This is good!
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211. Why would you think that
this girl is for me?
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212. Word around the gym, Shawn
Hunter is quite a kisser.
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213. This could work. They seem
right for each other.
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214. I don't know. Shawn
doesn't sweat that much.
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215. I hope she's
okay with that.
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216. Why don't we
talk first?
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217. Um, what kind of music do you like?
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218. Not this. You can't
work out to this.
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219. I like it.
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220. Debbie, if you
close your eyes,
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221. you can actually
see spring.
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222. Animals awakening
from their winter rest,
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223. flowers blossoming into full bloom.
Try it.
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224. I just see fat
people bouncing.
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225. I think there's a
relationship happening here.
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226. Let us go to our new couple
friends and make plans
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227. for weekends
at the cottage.
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228. "Love is not love
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229. "Which alters when
it alteration finds
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230. "Or bends with
the remover to remove"
Copy !req
231. Why are you
doing this to me?
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232. Hi! How's the
happy couple doing?
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233. I need chocolate.
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234. That's 14 grams of fat.
And you have a purse.
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235. Yes, I do.
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236. Come on, now. That's
not really his purse.
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237. He found that purse.
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238. Oh, well, he found
an ugly one.
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239. Hey. I happen to
like this purse.
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240. Topanga, I don't
think this is working.
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241. Debbie,
give it a chance.
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242. No, no, look. Um...
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243. I can't do this, okay?
Shawn.
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244. Don't fix me up.
Shawn.
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245. No. You know what?
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246. I am perfectly happy
with the way things are.
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247. Hey.
Hey.
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248. Listen, sorry
about last night.
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249. On paper, Debbie
sounded pretty good.
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250. Oh! Forget about it.
Here, have a Sno-Cap.
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251. Hey, Shawn.
Hey, Angela.
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252. Something's
different about you.
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253. What is that,
a new shirt?
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254. This old thing?
No. Stop.
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255. Well, it works for you.
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256. Thanks. Thanks.
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257. Bye.
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258. Okay, why are
you so happy?
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259. Well, I...
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260. I think
I met someone.
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261. Someone special.
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262. Shawn, you just giggled.
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263. Yeah. I've been
doing that a lot.
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264. I have the
feeling, Cory.
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265. Do you know the one that you
were trying to explain?
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266. Well, I woke up this morning, and it
was like rays of sunshine were...
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267. No, no, no, no. It was more like fluffy,
marshmallow clouds coated in...
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268. No. I can't explain it either,
but I thought I saw a bunny.
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269. Well, good for you,
Shawn. So who is it?
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270. It's her.
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271. The purse girl.
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272. Shawn, you
don't know her.
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273. Cory,
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274. I do know this girl.
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275. Look, I know
everything about her.
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276. I'm in love.
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277. Well, hey,
I hope you find her.
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278. It's like you and Topanga, you know?
A perfect fit.
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279. Yeah, but I didn't fall
in love with her luggage.
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280. B!
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281. A B in college is, like,
the best you can do!
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282. You did
very well, Eric.
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283. Hello.
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284. You know, a lot of people
might not appreciate
Copy !req
285. what you do,
but I do.
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286. You know,
Mr. Matthews,
Copy !req
287. I understand that I'm
in your imagination,
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288. but this ascot...
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289. I think we can do better.
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290. I'll do anything
you want.
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291. Another thing,
you've got me in briefs.
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292. I'm a boxer man.
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293. You want me to change your underwear?
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294. Hey, buddy! I'm waving
a B in history!
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295. You're kidding me.
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296. How did you get a B?
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297. Feeny. Thanks.
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298. Oh, right, your
invisible mentor guy.
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299. Come on, man, if you've got
a secret, let me in on it.
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300. It's no secret.
It's Feeny.
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301. I believed in him,
he helped me.
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302. I got a good grade.
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303. Mr. Feeny?
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304. Mr. Feeny,
are you here, sir?
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305. It's, uh... It's me,
Jack, Eric's friend.
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306. Look, I know
you're not my mentor,
Copy !req
307. but I just got beat
by Eric on a test.
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308. That's just
plain wrong.
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309. So if you could,
sir, begin.
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310. I'm ready to learn.
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311. Jack.
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312. He's not there.
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313. He's not?
No.
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314. He's on the balcony.
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315. Oh, Shawnie, I'm glad you're here.
Listen. Um...
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316. Based on the information
we've gathered
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317. from the contents
of the purse,
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318. I've put together a composite
drawing of the woman you love.
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319. Huh?
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320. Okay. Okay,
she's gorgeous,
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321. but she's sad.
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322. Sad because she
lost her purse.
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323. She... She called.
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324. She saw the notice
and called.
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325. That's great!
Who is it? Who is it?
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326. I don't know. Jack
took the message.
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327. I'm supposed to meet
her at Chubbie's.
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328. Well, why don't you take this
with you to make sure it's her?
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329. I'm not going.
You go.
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330. I don't understand.
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331. Cory, I can't meet her.
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332. This feeling
is so incredible,
Copy !req
333. I just want to hold on to
it for as long as possible.
Copy !req
334. I know, but do you understand
that when you meet her,
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335. that feeling will
only get better?
Copy !req
336. And what if it doesn't?
Copy !req
337. And what if it's not as
good as what I have now?
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338. With the purse?
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339. Just drop it, Cory.
Copy !req
340. Listen, what are
you so afraid of?
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341. I'm afraid of
getting hurt, okay?
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342. I mean, I've seen the
pain on my father's face
Copy !req
343. every time a woman walks out
because he's not good enough.
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344. Shawn.
Copy !req
345. You are not your
father, okay?
Copy !req
346. And this thing
is not real!
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347. Hi, guys.
Copy !req
348. Oh, hey.
This is real.
Copy !req
349. All right? I smile at her, she smiles back.
She's there for me.
Copy !req
350. Through the good
and the bad.
Copy !req
351. Yeah, well, where I've come from,
I've never seen love work.
Copy !req
352. But it can. Okay?
Copy !req
353. This girl here
could be your love,
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354. your destiny.
Copy !req
355. That was beautiful, Cory.
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356. What is that,
kiwi mango?
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357. It's very sexy.
Copy !req
358. Whitman. Major work,
Leaves of Grass.
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359. Poe. Major work,
The Raven.
Copy !req
360. "Quoth the raven..."
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361. "'Nevermore.'"
Copy !req
362. Mr. Feeny.
Copy !req
363. Aren't you a little
overdressed for the library?
Copy !req
364. Oh, not for the one
in Laughlin, Nevada.
Copy !req
365. Ooh, Laughlin, Nevada.
Population, 8,900.
Copy !req
366. Major business,
legalized gambling.
Copy !req
367. Birthplace of the $2.99
prime rib special.
Copy !req
368. Wait, why are we
going to Laughlin?
Copy !req
369. We're not going.
I'm going.
Copy !req
370. Wait a second, Mr. Feeny, I
can't do this without you.
Copy !req
371. Eric,
Copy !req
372. you did this
all on your own.
Copy !req
373. You've always
had the skills.
Copy !req
374. Just keep using them, and
you'll never be without me.
Copy !req
375. That's what you... The
real Mr. Feeny would say.
Copy !req
376. Smart man,
that Feeny.
Copy !req
377. Oh, look.
A rare bird.
Copy !req
378. Huh?
Copy !req
379. Marco...
Copy !req
380. Marco...
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381. Polo, Mr. Matthews.
Copy !req
382. Hey! Don't ever talk to me
about love or destiny again.
Copy !req
383. What happened?
Copy !req
384. I went there, okay? I put
my heart on the line.
Copy !req
385. She's got a boyfriend, Cory, and
do you know what I feel now?
Copy !req
386. Pain.
Copy !req
387. It's like my heart's been
ripped out and stepped on!
Copy !req
388. So just
do me a favor
Copy !req
389. and stay out of my
personal life, okay?
Copy !req
390. Shawn, I'm sorry.
I mean it!
Copy !req
391. I will.
Copy !req
392. I mean it.
Copy !req
393. You are so lucky that
someone found your purse.
Copy !req
394. I know, I thought
it was gone forever.
Copy !req
395. Well, here's all your stuff back.
Great.
Copy !req
396. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
397. Angela's stuff
was in your purse?
Copy !req
398. Yeah.
I lent it to her.
Copy !req
399. I felt awful
when I lost it.
Copy !req
400. Your stuff was
in her purse?
Copy !req
401. The lip gloss,
the Sno-Caps?
Copy !req
402. Yeah. And my
book of sonnets.
Copy !req
403. I can't live
without these.
Copy !req
404. Mr. Feeny?
It's me, Jack.
Copy !req
405. What are you doing?
Copy !req
406. Nothing.
Copy !req
407. You need help studying,
don't you?
Copy !req
408. Who, me? Nah.
Copy !req
409. Come on in.
Come on in.
Copy !req
410. Your prayers
have been answered.
Copy !req
411. Come on.
Copy !req
412. You?
Yeah.
Copy !req
413. Oh, man! I was kind
of hoping for your,
Copy !req
414. you know, magical, invisible
Mr. Feeny mentor guy.
Copy !req
415. Okay, listen. First of all,
he doesn't exist, okay?
Copy !req
416. Second of all, he's
in Laughlin, Nevada.
Copy !req
417. Third of all, you've got
the skills, my friend.
Copy !req
418. You just gotta
use them. Okay?
Copy !req
419. Take a seat.
Come on.
Copy !req
420. All right. I'm gonna shoot
a question out at you now.
Copy !req
421. All right? You ready? You sure?
It's a tough one.
Copy !req
422. Poe's major work.
Gonna give you a hint.
Copy !req
423. "'Nevermore.'"
Copy !req
424. This is calculus.
Copy !req
425. Mr. Feeny.
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426. Mr. Feeny!
Copy !req