1. And that, Mr. Hunter,
is how babies are made.Copy !req
2. I still don't
believe him.Copy !req
3. Before I forget, next Friday
will be college recruitment day.Copy !req
4. Representatives will be here
from USC, NYU and Rutgers.Copy !req
5. And Mr. Matthews,
your interview with StanfordCopy !req
6. has been rescheduled
from 3:00 to 3:30.Copy !req
7. Stanford?
What's that all about?Copy !req
8. It's just an interview.
It's nothing from nothing.Copy !req
9. Cory.Copy !req
10. When we were little kids,
you promised meCopy !req
11. that we'd go to the
same college together.Copy !req
12. Did I say that?Copy !req
13. Yes, and you also told me that
if I graduated high school,Copy !req
14. you'd take me to Vermont to
watch the leaves change.Copy !req
15. Right, Vermont.
October. Write it down.Copy !req
16. You know I could never
get into Stanford.Copy !req
17. Well, Stanford's just one of the
many schools I'm applying to, Shawn.Copy !req
18. I'm also applying
to Wisconsin, Penn.Copy !req
19. Wisconsin and Penn?Copy !req
20. We never
discussed those.Copy !req
21. Well, it doesn't have to be
Wisconsin or Penn, Shawnie.Copy !req
22. It can be a school from your list.
What's on your list?Copy !req
23. You want to know
what's on my list?Copy !req
24. Number one, I don't need a list
because my best friend CoryCopy !req
25. wouldn't apply to any school
that I couldn't get into.Copy !req
26. Your list makes
me feel bad.Copy !req
27. Shawn...
You know, it's early.Copy !req
28. I have no idea
what my plans are.Copy !req
29. Oh, interesting. Your plans.
Not our plans. Hmm.Copy !req
30. Don't you take that tone
with me, Shawn Hunter.Copy !req
31. I'm not taking any tone.Copy !req
32. If you want to go to college at
Stanford, then go. In fact, go now.Copy !req
33. Give you plenty of time to start
making your new college friends.Copy !req
34. But I don't want
to make new friends.Copy !req
35. You know what? Maybe I should start
making new friends, too, huh?Copy !req
36. But I don't want you
to make new friends.Copy !req
37. Well, you need to, Cory.Copy !req
38. What did you think? That I
was always going to be here?Copy !req
39. Is that what
you thought?Copy !req
40. Well, I'm not.Copy !req
41. Shawn, what about Vermont?
I put down a deposit.Copy !req
42. Shawn, I think
we need to talk.Copy !req
43. No. Everything's fine.Copy !req
44. Our little conversation this
morning was very helpfulCopy !req
45. in making me realize that
our entire relationshipCopy !req
46. has been nothing
more than a lie!Copy !req
47. Move along,
move along.Copy !req
48. Just a couple of seniors
rehearsing a little playlet.Copy !req
49. Don't you think you're being a
little dramatic about this?Copy !req
50. Dramatic?
Perhaps a little.Copy !req
51. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm
going to go look out the window.Copy !req
52. I paid a skywriter
a lot of moneyCopy !req
53. to write "Cory, I hate
you" in the clouds.Copy !req
54. Shawn.Copy !req
55. Cory, are you sure that
you and Shawn are okay?Copy !req
56. Oh, we're just fine.Copy !req
57. He just spent
a lot of money on me.Copy !req
58. I think he
needs to vent.Copy !req
59. See, that's the beauty of our
relationship, Topanga, you know?Copy !req
60. I mean,
it's rock solid, baby.Copy !req
61. Who are you and what are
you doing in my seat?Copy !req
62. His name is Andy.Copy !req
63. Who's Andy?Copy !req
64. He's my new...Copy !req
65. Best friend?Copy !req
66. Friend.Copy !req
67. Cory, we agreed that we were going
to go out and meet new people.Copy !req
68. I'm not making
you happy?Copy !req
69. No, Cory, it's...Copy !req
70. It's not you,
okay? It's me.Copy !req
71. And right now
I just need my space.Copy !req
72. But we're
still friends?Copy !req
73. Right now, I don't
know what we are.Copy !req
74. Give me my space.Copy !req
75. He's got a new
best friend.Copy !req
76. You're jealous.
It's so cute.Copy !req
77. No, no, no.
I'm not jealous.Copy !req
78. But two can play at
this game, girlfriend.Copy !req
79. Hi.Copy !req
80. Hi.Copy !req
81. I'm Lionel.Copy !req
82. I know who you are.Copy !req
83. Grapes?
I'd love some.Copy !req
84. I'm taking
another boy's grapes.Copy !req
85. Okay, first
college paper.Copy !req
86. Playing with
the big boys.Copy !req
87. Ten thousand words.
Word number one.Copy !req
88. I want my mommy!Copy !req
89. That's three words.Copy !req
90. Come on, Eric. You had three
weeks to write this paper.Copy !req
91. You don't make fun
of my learning disability!Copy !req
92. You have
a learning disability?Copy !req
93. I would think so.Copy !req
94. Hey, wait. What did you
write yours about?Copy !req
95. Well, all right.Copy !req
96. Ooh, a laptop.
For your lap.Copy !req
97. Here it is.
Ten thousand words.Copy !req
98. A perfectly crafted essay
on my summer in ChinaCopy !req
99. working with
paleontologists.Copy !req
100. What?Copy !req
101. Your first college paper,
you're writing aboutCopy !req
102. what you did on
your summer vacation.Copy !req
103. I uncovered
dinosaur fossils.Copy !req
104. You got pictures?
No.Copy !req
105. Then you got nothing.Copy !req
106. I think it's
pretty good.Copy !req
107. You don't get it.
We're in college now.Copy !req
108. We're being judged
on a whole new level.Copy !req
109. Theories and footnotes, shades
of meaning, nuance, spelling.Copy !req
110. Where does it end?
Where does it end?Copy !req
111. All right!
I didn't even go!Copy !req
112. My sister went.
She's 10.Copy !req
113. I got no pictures.
And I didn't go to China.Copy !req
114. Okay. It's okay.
It's okay.Copy !req
115. I'm going to get us through
this, all right, my friend?Copy !req
116. This is where
Eric Matthews shines.Copy !req
117. How? We pull
an all-nighter?Copy !req
118. Work together
until it's great?Copy !req
119. I got better. We make
friends with the dean.Copy !req
120. Cor? It's 6:00.Copy !req
121. You're in your pajamas.
Is everything okay?Copy !req
122. I don't want
to talk about it.Copy !req
123. Cory and Shawn had a fight.
Shawn dumped him.Copy !req
124. Now, nobody got dumped.Copy !req
125. We just agreed not to see
each other for a while.Copy !req
126. And you believe that?Copy !req
127. Well, someone from
school called, a Lionel.Copy !req
128. Is that your
new boyfriend?Copy !req
129. He's just this
guy from school.Copy !req
130. If he calls again,
tell him I'm not home.Copy !req
131. That's no way to treat him.
He'll dump you, too.Copy !req
132. Hey, everybody.
Hey, Cor.Copy !req
133. I had lunch
at Pink's today.Copy !req
134. How come I didn't
see you there?Copy !req
135. Why would you?Copy !req
136. Shawn was there.Copy !req
137. Was he alone?Copy !req
138. No. He was with
a couple of guys.Copy !req
139. A couple of guys.Copy !req
140. What are you
so upset about?Copy !req
141. Pink's was our place.Copy !req
142. Not anymore.Copy !req
143. Mother, make her stop.Copy !req
144. Cory, what
is going on?Copy !req
145. I'll tell you
what's going on.Copy !req
146. It's two people moving in different
directions, that's what.Copy !req
147. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going in the other roomCopy !req
148. to watch Lifetime
and have a good cry.Copy !req
149. Is everything okay
between him and Topanga?Copy !req
150. Great. Never better.Copy !req
151. When they kiss,
he enjoys it, right?Copy !req
152. Let's just go home
and write our papers, man.Copy !req
153. No, no, no, no, no.
We're not gonna have to.Copy !req
154. You see, the beauty
of befriending the dean isCopy !req
155. he's going to give us
an extension on the paper.Copy !req
156. We're never going to have to do
it, or any paper thereafter.Copy !req
157. We're actually never going
to have to do any real workCopy !req
158. until we graduate, get
jobs, befriend our bosses,Copy !req
159. get married,
befriend our wives.Copy !req
160. Please, man, I just want to go to college.
I just want to do the work.Copy !req
161. Hey, I like you too much
to let you do that.Copy !req
162. Oh, thanks, man.
Hey.Copy !req
163. Oh, Dean?
Not now.Copy !req
164. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
165. He's gonna love us.Copy !req
166. Oh, Dean?Copy !req
167. You don't listen,
do you?Copy !req
168. Jack, bow.
What?Copy !req
169. Bow your head.Copy !req
170. Sir, we'd actually
just like to discussCopy !req
171. with you a paper
that we're writingCopy !req
172. and perhaps even establish
the type of relationshipCopy !req
173. I had with my former
mentor, Mr. Feeny.Copy !req
174. You know the kind of
people that have mentors?Copy !req
175. People who can't think for themselves.
Weak people.Copy !req
176. You're in college
now, buddy boy.Copy !req
177. The big leagues.
The show.Copy !req
178. I've got over 25,000
students in this university,Copy !req
179. and each one of them lined
up to kiss my dean butt,Copy !req
180. looking for
an easy way.Copy !req
181. But I'm going to
tell you something.Copy !req
182. The only easy way
is the hard way.Copy !req
183. You don't say much,
pretty boy.Copy !req
184. I'm very scared, sir.Copy !req
185. Good. That's how
I became the dean.Copy !req
186. We are so in.Copy !req
187. Cory, I know you and Shawn are
having some problems right now.Copy !req
188. I don't think this is the
time to bring him up.Copy !req
189. Did you know that Lionel has a
really wonderful singing voice?Copy !req
190. Cory, come here. I want
to tell you something.Copy !req
191. Did you enjoy that?Copy !req
192. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
193. Okay, good.
Now listen to me.Copy !req
194. Being a senior is
a very scary time.Copy !req
195. We have a lot of decisions
we need to make.Copy !req
196. Yeah, I know that.
Okay.Copy !req
197. And you're probably going to have
your choice of schools to go toCopy !req
198. all over the country.Copy !req
199. Yeah, but that doesn't mean Shawn
has to be upset with me for that.Copy !req
200. He's not.Copy !req
201. He's just afraid
that his best friendCopy !req
202. is moving on and
leaving him behind.Copy !req
203. You know, you're right. I mean,Copy !req
204. he's probably off somewhere
alone, miserable.Copy !req
205. He's in denial.Copy !req
206. Three guys.
I'm only with Lionel.Copy !req
207. Cory, talk to him.Copy !req
208. Shawn?Copy !req
209. Boys.Copy !req
210. Well, this certainly
appears to be a lot moreCopy !req
211. than just giving
each other space.Copy !req
212. Cory, we agreed that we were
going to make new friends.Copy !req
213. No, you agreed. I was perfectly
happy with the way things were.Copy !req
214. Then explain him!Copy !req
215. His name is Lionel.Copy !req
216. We met today, and we are
getting along just famouslyCopy !req
217. because I'm young, Hunter, I'm
vital, and I have a lot to offer.Copy !req
218. Yeah, well,
so do I.Copy !req
219. The difference is
I have the dignityCopy !req
220. to keep my friendships
personal and private,Copy !req
221. not parade them around in public
for your twisted amusement.Copy !req
222. You little punk!Copy !req
223. You dirty man!Copy !req
224. Cat fight.Copy !req
225. Face it, Matthews.Copy !req
226. Our friendship never made any
sense in the first place.Copy !req
227. You're right. Why?Copy !req
228. Because we're different.
You're college. I'm townie.Copy !req
229. It was only a matter of time
before that caught up with us.Copy !req
230. Then let's end it now before it
lasts any longer than it did.Copy !req
231. No! Now.Copy !req
232. Come on, boys.Copy !req
233. Cory, why do I
have to be here?Copy !req
234. Lionel, it's no secret
that Shawn and ICopy !req
235. went through a pretty
brutal breakup.Copy !req
236. Now, things
could get ugly.Copy !req
237. And if a punch gets thrown,
well, I need you to take it.Copy !req
238. I will do that for you.Copy !req
239. Okay, great.Copy !req
240. Now, knowing Shawn
and how vindictive he is,Copy !req
241. he probably has no intention
of giving me my stuff back.Copy !req
242. Where does it end?Copy !req
243. Shawn? I know
you're in there.Copy !req
244. Not answering. He must be hurting.
Gosh, I'm loving this.Copy !req
245. Kirk, it's about time... Oh.Copy !req
246. It's you. I'm having a party.
What?Copy !req
247. Yeah.
A party, right.Copy !req
248. That certainly
is some shindig.Copy !req
249. Yeah, you know. Just
pounding down some sodas,Copy !req
250. swapping a few stories
with some close friends.Copy !req
251. Close friends?
You hardly know them.Copy !req
252. Exactly. So if they leave, who cares?
Get out, all of you!Copy !req
253. Now get back
in there!Copy !req
254. You see, no emotional
attachment, nobody gets hurt.Copy !req
255. That's my kind
of friendship, baby.Copy !req
256. So, this is it.Copy !req
257. I guess so.Copy !req
258. Well, it's been
a fun run.Copy !req
259. It has been.Copy !req
260. Hey. Remember the time we ate
cake in the Paramus mall?Copy !req
261. Cory, please don't. No emotion.
It's too hard.Copy !req
262. Have a nice, you know...
Whatever.Copy !req
263. I don't hate you.Copy !req
264. Just go.Copy !req
265. Lionel,
we're through here.Copy !req
266. Lionel? Lionel.Copy !req
267. If you guys ever
play basketball,Copy !req
268. make sure there's
plenty of water aroundCopy !req
269. because Cory
tends to dehydrate.Copy !req
270. Lionel.Copy !req
271. And let him win once in a while.
He likes that.Copy !req
272. And, Lionel, never
eat cake in Paramus.Copy !req
273. That's ours.Copy !req
274. Dean Borack!Copy !req
275. Dean Borack!Copy !req
276. Look, I was a very good
student in high school.Copy !req
277. I can write this paper.
I'm going home.Copy !req
278. Fine, go.
High school boy.Copy !req
279. What was that about?Copy !req
280. What? Nothing.
Didn't mean a thing.Copy !req
281. Just that high school was a very
important time in your life.Copy !req
282. Probably the best years
you're ever going to have.Copy !req
283. You won a few spelling bees,
you took out the prom queen,Copy !req
284. you peaked early.
Good for you.Copy !req
285. Dean Borack!Copy !req
286. Huh?Copy !req
287. Hello, Dean. Eric Matthews.
My chum Jack.Copy !req
288. I was wondering if you could put
on a pot of coffee, invite us in,Copy !req
289. and perhaps we could discuss
the extension on our papers.Copy !req
290. We brought a babka.Copy !req
291. A babka?Copy !req
292. You bums think you're going to buy
me off with a stinking babka?Copy !req
293. Hildy.Copy !req
294. We're going to
meet his daughter.Copy !req
295. You're going to
meet my Doberman.Copy !req
296. Make no mistake about it, boys,
I am a nasty, nasty man.Copy !req
297. Leave the babka.Copy !req
298. Mr. Feeny?Copy !req
299. Mr. Feeny!Copy !req
300. I was expecting you. Today,
tomorrow, yesterday.Copy !req
301. It was only
a matter of time.Copy !req
302. Look, Mr. Feeny.
This is my roommate, Jack.Copy !req
303. Why doesn't he
look at me?Copy !req
304. I'm afraid, sir.Copy !req
305. Mr. Feeny, we're
both scared, okay?Copy !req
306. Tomorrow we've got to hand
in our first college paper.Copy !req
307. What if they find out we're
nothing more than fakes?Copy !req
308. Gentlemen, getting accepted into
college is not a random act.Copy !req
309. You both were accepted
on your merits.Copy !req
310. And by virtue of that
alone, you belong.Copy !req
311. Now, what's the topic
of your paper?Copy !req
312. It's an open assignment. You can
write on anything you want.Copy !req
313. No rules, no guidelines,
no parameters.Copy !req
314. It doesn't even
have to be in English.Copy !req
315. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
316. Hmm? No.Copy !req
317. Okay, well, the best
advice I can give youCopy !req
318. is to write about
something personal.Copy !req
319. Perhaps about the
anxiety you're feeling.Copy !req
320. Yes. That's it!Copy !req
321. The anxiety.
Mr. Feeny!Copy !req
322. Feeny and Eric back together again.
Just like the old days.Copy !req
323. I make you
look so good.Copy !req
324. What about you?Copy !req
325. I was thinking of handing
in a paper I wroteCopy !req
326. about uncovering dinosaur
fossils in China.Copy !req
327. You got pictures?Copy !req
328. Then you got nothing.Copy !req
329. Mr. Feeny. I got a message
you wanted to see me.Copy !req
330. You have two extra tickets
to Sunday's Eagles game.Copy !req
331. Hey, Mr. Feeny. I heard you had an
academic achievement award for me?Copy !req
332. You!
You!Copy !req
333. Sting!
Sting!Copy !req
334. Oh, sit down!Copy !req
335. Mr. Feeny, why are you
doing this to us?Copy !req
336. I asked him
to see you.Copy !req
337. Topanga!
Topanga!Copy !req
338. You won't listen to me. You
won't listen to each other.Copy !req
339. Maybe you'll listen
to Mr. Feeny.Copy !req
340. Well, it hasn't
happened yet.Copy !req
341. But I'll take a shot at it.
Okay, who wants to start?Copy !req
342. I have nothing to say.Copy !req
343. Me neither.Copy !req
344. Okay, that was
my best shot.Copy !req
345. What? Mr. Feeny, these
people are about readyCopy !req
346. to throw away
10 years of friendship,Copy !req
347. and you call that your best shot?
Shame on you. Shame.Copy !req
348. I show up. I teach. Why
isn't that enough? Why?Copy !req
349. Look, Mr. Feeny, let's not
waste anyone's time, okay?Copy !req
350. Cory and I,
we broke up.Copy !req
351. It should have
happened sooner.Copy !req
352. But we stayed
together for the kids.Copy !req
353. In the class.Copy !req
354. You two have been the best of
friends for as long as I know you.Copy !req
355. Now, when did
this problem start?Copy !req
356. His problem started
the day he met me.Copy !req
357. You didn't think I was good enough
for you since the day you met me.Copy !req
358. The day he met me.Copy !req
359. Met me.Copy !req
360. Hey!Copy !req
361. Want to have
lunch with me?Copy !req
362. I don't think
I should.Copy !req
363. Those guys say that you live in a
trailer park and I shouldn't like you.Copy !req
364. Oh, well. If you want to have lunch
with me, I'll be right here.Copy !req
365. Hey, Topanga.
Look, I'm a llama.Copy !req
366. Look, I'm a...
Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
367. Cory, I told you not
to play by the llamas!Copy !req
368. Help! Help!Copy !req
369. Somebody, help!Copy !req
370. Help!Copy !req
371. Help!Copy !req
372. Hey, thanks for pulling
me out of the llama pen.Copy !req
373. It was fun.Copy !req
374. My name's Cory.
I'm Shawn.Copy !req
375. Hi. I'm Topanga.Copy !req
376. The wife.Copy !req
377. I'm sorry I didn't have lunch with you.
My friends were wrong.Copy !req
378. They're not even
my friends.Copy !req
379. I'll be your friend.Copy !req
380. Really?Copy !req
381. Just promise me
when we grow up,Copy !req
382. you won't go to
college and leave me.Copy !req
383. Okay.Copy !req
384. Friends forever?Copy !req
385. Forever.Copy !req
386. Stop it.
You're boys.Copy !req
387. Stop it.
You're boys.Copy !req
388. Thank you for pulling me
out of the llama pen.Copy !req
389. Thank you for having
lunch with me.Copy !req
390. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
391. Cory, I want you to go to the
best college you can get into.Copy !req
392. We'll be best friends all our
lives, no matter where you go.Copy !req
393. And I should have been more
aware of your insecuritiesCopy !req
394. and how sensitive
you can be.Copy !req
395. Do you think
I'm sensitive?Copy !req
396. I do.Copy !req
397. You know what, Cor? I'm
going to work real hard.Copy !req
398. So whatever college you get into,
I'll be right there with you.Copy !req
399. You mean it?Copy !req
400. I've never meant anything
more in my whole life.Copy !req
401. Okay, stop it!Copy !req
402. Okay.Copy !req
403. We still all have to be
ready for the possibilityCopy !req
404. we may end up in
different places.Copy !req
405. And that's why we have to
make our senior year togetherCopy !req
406. the best year
of our lives.Copy !req
407. I mean, I applied to
the University of Miami...Copy !req
408. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
409. You're going to Miami?Copy !req
410. You know,
I did tell you that.Copy !req
411. If you didn't listen,
that's not my fault.Copy !req
412. No, Topanga, you never
mentioned anything...Copy !req
413. You two.
Sit down.Copy !req
414. Well, it all started the day she
was nagging me by the llama pit.Copy !req
415. I don't nag!
Ah!Copy !req
416. Hi, Dean.Copy !req
417. It's about time, sir.Copy !req
418. How did you get in here? It's after hours.
This building is locked.Copy !req
419. You're trespassing,
you know that?Copy !req
420. You're violating my
personal property.Copy !req
421. I could have you
both shock-therapied.Copy !req
422. Look, Dean. We really
need that extension.Copy !req
423. In my entire
27-year dean career,Copy !req
424. which spans five colleges
on three continents,Copy !req
425. including China...Copy !req
426. Okay, just
bought us a month.Copy !req
427. You speak Chinese?Copy !req
428. I do.Copy !req
429. Cool. All right.
Let's celebrate.Copy !req
430. Dean's house?Copy !req
431. And insult him by
going anywhere else?Copy !req