1. Well, there's
42 minutes of my lifeCopy !req
2. I'll never have back.Copy !req
3. Just when I thinkCopy !req
4. Feeny's class can't
get any more boring,Copy !req
5. feudalism.Copy !req
6. I'm beyond bored.
I'm angry.Copy !req
7. Feudalism?Copy !req
8. Uh-huh.
It's okay.Copy !req
9. Have a nice weekend,
Topanga.Copy !req
10. You, too, Cory.Copy !req
11. Shawn, did you hear how
she said, "You, too, Cory"?Copy !req
12. I mean, there was
coldness there.Copy !req
13. There was not.
Nonsense!Copy !req
14. I could practically
see her breath.Copy !req
15. Shawn, why isn't she
suffering as much as I am?Copy !req
16. Cory, she's suffering.Copy !req
17. She's just doing it
with somethingCopy !req
18. you know nothing about.Copy !req
19. Feudalism?Copy !req
20. No. Dignity.Copy !req
21. Topanga's handling this
breakup with dignity.Copy !req
22. While you, Norton,
are a train wreck.Copy !req
23. I'm dignified.Copy !req
24. You burst into tears
every three, two, one...Copy !req
25. Stop exaggerating!Copy !req
26. Cory! Who carries
these things around?Copy !req
27. What did you do?Copy !req
28. Dig up your grandfather
and pick his pocket?Copy !req
29. It's Grandpa Poppy.Copy !req
30. He always had
seeds in his teeth.Copy !req
31. And that's why
we called him Poppy.Copy !req
32. Ugh! You're depressing.Copy !req
33. You're depressing
to be around.Copy !req
34. That's why
you're not invitedCopy !req
35. to Kimberly Sussman's
party tonight.Copy !req
36. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.Copy !req
37. Kimberly Sussman's
having a party tonight?Copy !req
38. Yeah. To celebrate
her new nose.Copy !req
39. Like, the whole world's going.Copy !req
40. I'm sure if I wasn't
invited, Shawn,Copy !req
41. it's probably due to
some tremendous oversight.Copy !req
42. Does, "7:30 sharp.Copy !req
43. "And whatever you do,
don't tell Cory,"Copy !req
44. sound like
an oversight?Copy !req
45. The word's out
on you, man.Copy !req
46. Nobody wants to be
around Cory, the downer.Copy !req
47. Three, two, one...Copy !req
48. Including you?Copy !req
49. I'm getting there.Copy !req
50. Shawn, listen, you think
I like myself like this.Copy !req
51. I don't.Copy !req
52. Okay, I don't
blame everyoneCopy !req
53. for not wanting to
be around me.Copy !req
54. I don't want to be
around me either.Copy !req
55. I'm done with me.Copy !req
56. So, now that you're
going out with Shawn,Copy !req
57. does this mean that I can't
dance with him tonight?Copy !req
58. You can dance with him
all you want, Kimberly,Copy !req
59. but he'll be
going home with me.Copy !req
60. What are you doing here?Copy !req
61. I'm crashing.
Crashing the party.Copy !req
62. Get out!Copy !req
63. Say that again?Copy !req
64. Get out!Copy !req
65. You know who you
look like, don't you?Copy !req
66. Bridget Fonda.Copy !req
67. Get out.Copy !req
68. No, I'm serious.Copy !req
69. I mean, your old nose, it
was fine, but now it's...Copy !req
70. La Femme Nikita, baby.Copy !req
71. Look, as long as you're
here, why don't you stay?Copy !req
72. I think Topanga's coming.Copy !req
73. Who?Copy !req
74. I'm sorry, but right now
I can't see anybodyCopy !req
75. past Kimberly Sussman Fonda.Copy !req
76. Cory.Copy !req
77. So they got Hunter kidnapped
and handcuffed to a pole,Copy !req
78. and I have to step in
and save Shawn's buttCopy !req
79. because I have
a way with women,Copy !req
80. as you can probably
tell by the fact thatCopy !req
81. I've never been more
available in my life.Copy !req
82. Tickets go on sale
at the box office.Copy !req
83. Okay, who are you? And what have
you done with Cory the mope?Copy !req
84. Shawnie, it's me.Copy !req
85. Now, if you'll excuse me, Cory's
got that groove thing going.Copy !req
86. Cory.Copy !req
87. Hey.Copy !req
88. The ex-other-half-
of-my-heart-and-soul.Copy !req
89. How's the family?Copy !req
90. Good. Cory...Copy !req
91. You look really...Copy !req
92. Uh, not very cool.Copy !req
93. Thanks. That's what
I'm going for.Copy !req
94. See, they told me to relax
and have a good time,Copy !req
95. that's what
I'm trying to do.Copy !req
96. Okay, well, I'm not
gonna stay very long.Copy !req
97. Stay as long
as you like.Copy !req
98. Mmm-hmm. He's been like
this since he got here.Copy !req
99. I've got to say, he's
the life of the party.Copy !req
100. So, are you and Cory
officially broken up?Copy !req
101. Because I think
he's really cute.Copy !req
102. Cory's free to do whatever he wants.
So are you.Copy !req
103. Angela,
I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
104. Sounds like a yes
to me.Copy !req
105. You make one move
on my best friend's man,Copy !req
106. and that new nose is gonna
look like your old nose. Okay?Copy !req
107. Hey! I didn't know
you were gonna be here.Copy !req
108. But since you're the most
exciting person here,Copy !req
109. I propose a toast.Copy !req
110. To us.Copy !req
111. Cory, open up!Copy !req
112. It's Shawn,
my sidekick.Copy !req
113. Hello.Copy !req
114. You've been in here for,
like, an hour and a half.Copy !req
115. Are they asking for me?Copy !req
116. Topanga left.Copy !req
117. She did?
That's too bad.Copy !req
118. I was gonna
dance with her.Copy !req
119. Is that yours?Copy !req
120. This was given to me when I
stole it from my father.Copy !req
121. You want?Copy !req
122. Wait a minute.Copy !req
123. Cory is the one
holding the bottle.Copy !req
124. What's wrong
with this picture?Copy !req
125. Because you said that no one wants
to be around Cory the downer,Copy !req
126. so now I'm not
Cory the downer.Copy !req
127. You want a drink?Copy !req
128. I told you to have fun, not
put away a pint of whiskey.Copy !req
129. I am having a good time, and I
want you to have a good time, too.Copy !req
130. So drink.Copy !req
131. I don't need that.
What's it taste like?Copy !req
132. It's the foulest tasting
stuff I've ever had. Here.Copy !req
133. Ugh!Copy !req
134. Why would I
want to do this?Copy !req
135. 'Cause your goody-goody
friend Cory did it,Copy !req
136. and you will not be able to live
with yourself unless you do it, too.Copy !req
137. I'm not falling for that
peer-pressure crap.Copy !req
138. Oh! Yikes!Copy !req
139. I know, and yet, such a small price
to pay for its magical powers.Copy !req
140. Ah!Copy !req
141. Ugh!Copy !req
142. You know, I just
can't understand whyCopy !req
143. they don't sell this stuff to kids.
I mean...Copy !req
144. This will
forever be rememberedCopy !req
145. as the night we peed
on a police car.Copy !req
146. Pretty unbelievable, huh?Copy !req
147. You know, Shawn,
normally I can't goCopy !req
148. when another guy's
standing right next to me.Copy !req
149. What a perfect target.Copy !req
150. I mean, I bet you that's why they
put those numbers on the roof.Copy !req
151. I can't think of
any other reason.Copy !req
152. Well, here is to squad car
72, wherever you are.Copy !req
153. Oh, no, no, no.
No. No. No.Copy !req
154. You ain't gonna
finish that.Copy !req
155. Ah!Copy !req
156. Well, the party is over.Copy !req
157. Gravity.Copy !req
158. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
159. I was gonna put flowers in
that and present to ArmangaCopy !req
160. as a token
of my steam.Copy !req
161. Wait a minute, Cory.
What?Copy !req
162. You just
called her Armanga.Copy !req
163. No, not our Manga.
My Manga.Copy !req
164. No luck, huh?Copy !req
165. Those things never pay off.Copy !req
166. So why do you play?Copy !req
167. I like losing.Copy !req
168. Well, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
169. How'd you like a chance
to lose five more times?Copy !req
170. Wait, five lottery tickets is
only five bucks. That's a $10.Copy !req
171. You buy yourself
five lottery tickets,Copy !req
172. and you buy us a six-pack
with the change.Copy !req
173. No, if I buy beer for a
minor, I can get arrested.Copy !req
174. You a cop?Copy !req
175. Do we look like cops?Copy !req
176. Do I?Copy !req
177. You know what, Shawnie?Copy !req
178. I always thought that
Topanga was the one personCopy !req
179. I could never
live without.Copy !req
180. But she's gone, and you're
here, and I'm alive.Copy !req
181. So it must be you.Copy !req
182. I'd take a bullet
for you.Copy !req
183. Shawnie, I love you.Copy !req
184. Yeah. I love you, too, Cory.
And I'm not ashamed.Copy !req
185. Now I'm ashamed.Copy !req
186. It's okay. It's okay. My brother's
also chosen an alternative lifestyle.Copy !req
187. Let's keep in touch.Copy !req
188. You know what I
can't get over?Copy !req
189. When I left the house, I
was almost half-crocked,Copy !req
190. and my dad didn't
notice a thing.Copy !req
191. That's what happens when
you get up there in years.Copy !req
192. You know, you start
to lose your edge.Copy !req
193. Okay, wait, wait.
This is a toast.Copy !req
194. To the best friend in the whole
world on the best night ever.Copy !req
195. Oh, no.
It's Sipowicz.Copy !req
196. Stand very still, and we
won't get in trouble.Copy !req
197. Why does that number
look so familiar?Copy !req
198. Sit down.Copy !req
199. So, how's it feel to put
one over on your parents?Copy !req
200. You feel good?Copy !req
201. No.Copy !req
202. I cannot believe that my kid stole
liquor from my cabinet, like...Copy !req
203. Well, like
somebody else's kid!Copy !req
204. Have they been
charged with anything?Copy !req
205. Are they gonna
have a record?Copy !req
206. No, the charges
were dropped,Copy !req
207. because they are juveniles and
there was no prior arrest.Copy !req
208. Cory, this isn't you.Copy !req
209. No, of course it isn't! Somebody
influenced him, didn't someone?Copy !req
210. Alan.Copy !req
211. No, Dad, okay?
You're completely wrong.Copy !req
212. I did this
completely on my own.Copy !req
213. Come on.Copy !req
214. You're covering up for
Shawn, like you always do.Copy !req
215. No. I'm not.Copy !req
216. In fact, I'm the one
who got him to drink.Copy !req
217. No. No, no, no.
Stop protecting me, Cory.Copy !req
218. Yeah, you know how lousy
he's been feeling.Copy !req
219. Well, he wanted to feel good.
And I showed him how.Copy !req
220. Shawn, what are you doing?Copy !req
221. I am sick and tired
of overlookingCopy !req
222. the influence
you have on my kid.Copy !req
223. Alan, that's enough.Copy !req
224. Come into the other room.
I want to talk to you.Copy !req
225. That's probably
a good idea.Copy !req
226. Listen, Shawn, why are you
taking the rap for me?Copy !req
227. Because your
dad's right, Cory.Copy !req
228. All my life
you've had my back.Copy !req
229. Just let me take the
heat this time.Copy !req
230. But I'm the one
who got us into trouble.Copy !req
231. I'm not in any trouble.
You are.Copy !req
232. People expect this from me.
I'm the screw-up.Copy !req
233. You're Mr. Teenage America.Copy !req
234. Especially in the eyes
of your parents.Copy !req
235. They've got you
on this pedestal.Copy !req
236. I'm not going to
let you fall off.Copy !req
237. Okay.Copy !req
238. This is what
we think.Copy !req
239. First, we feel that you
two need some time apart.Copy !req
240. Now, this doesn't mean that
the friendship is over.Copy !req
241. No. No!Copy !req
242. Forget it, Dad, okay? Forget it.
I'm not doing that.Copy !req
243. I'm not giving you
the choice.Copy !req
244. Cory, you were
drinking tonight.Copy !req
245. I don't care, Mom!
Dad drinks.Copy !req
246. I am slightly over 21.Copy !req
247. And when I do drink,
I drink responsibly.Copy !req
248. And when you are ready
to do what I do,Copy !req
249. then you can get out of
this house and get a job!Copy !req
250. What if Kimberly's party wasn't
within walking distance?Copy !req
251. Would you have driven?Copy !req
252. I wouldn't drink and drive.
I'm not a moron.Copy !req
253. You peed on a cop car.Copy !req
254. How smart is that?Copy !req
255. Look, I appreciate
the lecture,Copy !req
256. and thanks for coming to
the station to pick me up,Copy !req
257. but you're not
my parents.Copy !req
258. And, yeah, I'll just
stay away from CoryCopy !req
259. if that's what's gonna put
everything back to normal.Copy !req
260. Normal. You know...Copy !req
261. I just broke up
with someoneCopy !req
262. that I've spent
my entire life with.Copy !req
263. I don't have
a heart anymore.Copy !req
264. I've lost my life.Copy !req
265. So I went up to
your liquor cabinetCopy !req
266. and I took
a bottle of whiskey,Copy !req
267. and I made Shawn drink,Copy !req
268. because I didn't
want to be alone.Copy !req
269. Shawn...Copy !req
270. Forget it.Copy !req
271. No.Copy !req
272. I was worried about my kid, and I said
some things that I shouldn't have.Copy !req
273. That's okay.Copy !req
274. It is not okay.Copy !req
275. And I apologize.Copy !req
276. No more drinking?Copy !req
277. Yeah.
No more drinking.Copy !req
278. Topanga, listen.
About Friday night...Copy !req
279. Cory, you don't need
to apologize to me.Copy !req
280. No, there was a reason
I was acting so strange.Copy !req
281. I don't really care.Copy !req
282. You don't?
No.Copy !req
283. Okay.Copy !req
284. It's okay with you
that I don't care?Copy !req
285. No!Copy !req
286. Class, as we continue
our study of feudalism,Copy !req
287. I would like to
focus todayCopy !req
288. on the life
of the serf.Copy !req
289. Mr. Hunter?
I don't wanna.Copy !req
290. You don't want to what?Copy !req
291. Boring.
It's boring!Copy !req
292. That's why the whole feudalism
thing didn't work out.Copy !req
293. They got bored out of
their freaking minds!Copy !req
294. What?
It's too far.Copy !req
295. No, you know, just once, I
would like to learn somethingCopy !req
296. somewhat relevant
to our lives.Copy !req
297. Shawn, shut up.
I say this with love.Copy !req
298. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
299. Nothing.Copy !req
300. Now, why don't you stop being
so crazy and sit on Cory's lap?Copy !req
301. Mr. Hunter, we will discuss your
outburst at the end of the class.Copy !req
302. Cool, so let
the boredom begin.Copy !req
303. Mr. Hunter, please leave.Copy !req
304. Okay. But only because
you asked me so nicely.Copy !req
305. Listen, Mr. Feeny, can I...Copy !req
306. Go, go.Copy !req
307. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
308. I'm sorry,
did you want one?Copy !req
309. You get kicked out of class,
you fight me all the way home,Copy !req
310. you puke on my shoes, and you
still want another beer?Copy !req
311. Why don't you go home,
Cory the monitor?Copy !req
312. You know what, I...Copy !req
313. I could've sworn we
agreed to stop drinking.Copy !req
314. Yeah, well,
I've been drinking all week,Copy !req
315. and you haven't
noticed a thing.Copy !req
316. You've been
drinking all week?Copy !req
317. Yeah. See, I'm doing
this for you.Copy !req
318. You're worried about me, you
stop thinking about Topanga.Copy !req
319. By the way, you know, she's getting
out of school right about now.Copy !req
320. Why don't you go across the
street from her and cry?Copy !req
321. What?Copy !req
322. What are you doing?Copy !req
323. It's a beer!Copy !req
324. What's the
big deal here?Copy !req
325. We got drunk at a party
the other night.Copy !req
326. I think he might've liked
it a little too much.Copy !req
327. Yeah, well, a beer's
a big deal for us.Copy !req
328. Goody, goody. Now I get the
lecture from the big brother,Copy !req
329. who I've known
all of six months.Copy !req
330. You don't have a clue, do you?
About what?Copy !req
331. About Dad!
Yeah.Copy !req
332. Yeah, Dad used to drink,
and then he stopped. Next?Copy !req
333. You know why
he stopped drinking?Copy !req
334. Because he
ran out of money?Copy !req
335. You know why
my mom left him?Copy !req
336. 'Cause she went for
a guy with more money?Copy !req
337. She left him because he was
an abusive, ugly drunk.Copy !req
338. Don't you ever
talk about my dad...Copy !req
339. Shawn! Shawn! Stop!Copy !req
340. He's my father,
too, man!Copy !req
341. Alcoholism is in our family,
and you shouldn't drink!Copy !req
342. Shawn?Copy !req
343. After the other night, Shawn, I
feel like I can never drink again.Copy !req
344. You were drinking?Copy !req
345. Yeah. What do you
figure that was about?Copy !req
346. I wonder!Copy !req
347. You know what, Shawn?
Shut up. Okay?Copy !req
348. We agreed to stop drinking.
I have.Copy !req
349. You obviously haven't.Copy !req
350. What do you think that's about?
I wonder.Copy !req
351. And, by the way, I happen to
have been an adorable drunk.Copy !req
352. You should have
seen me.Copy !req
353. I did. You weren't.
And this isn't about us.Copy !req
354. Shawn, it's okay. Look, we
can talk about anything.Copy !req
355. If there's a problem, we
can figure out what to do.Copy !req
356. Nobody's listening
to me. Okay.Copy !req
357. I drink this stuff
because I like it.Copy !req
358. It makes me feel good.Copy !req
359. Hello! Hello!
Is this thing on?Copy !req
360. I have no problem.Copy !req
361. Okay. Maybe we don't have to talk
about this in front of everybody.Copy !req
362. Let's just go out
into the hall...Copy !req
363. Don't!Copy !req
364. I don't like
that you drink.Copy !req
365. Call me when you don't.Copy !req
366. How did that
just happen?Copy !req
367. Hi. I, um...Copy !req
368. I just wanted to
let you know thatCopy !req
369. you don't have to worry about
me having a drink anymore.Copy !req
370. But if you want me
to stay away from CoryCopy !req
371. because of all the other
idiot stuff I do,Copy !req
372. I understand.Copy !req
373. Come on in.Copy !req
374. You know,Copy !req
375. I wouldn't want two
friends to be kept apart.Copy !req
376. When I said that, I was under
the influence of alcohol.Copy !req
377. You were drunk, too?Copy !req
378. No, you were.Copy !req
379. And so was Cory, and I didn't
like seeing you that way.Copy !req
380. Yeah. That seems to be
the general consensus.Copy !req
381. So...Copy !req
382. When can Cory
come out and play?Copy !req
383. Can I, Dad? Huh? Huh? Can I?Copy !req
384. What month is it?Copy !req
385. It's still March.Copy !req
386. Sorry, Shawn.Copy !req
387. Maybe next time, you won't
be so easily influencedCopy !req
388. by your rotten friends!Copy !req
389. Yeah, well, he's the
only one I got.Copy !req
390. Angela hasn't
called back yet?Copy !req
391. No. She won't
return my messages.Copy !req
392. I picked a fine time
to quit drinking.Copy !req
393. Yeah, I've got a lot
of apologizing to do.Copy !req
394. An apple?
Are you kidding me?Copy !req
395. What I did in class yesterday
was so out of line.Copy !req
396. If you won't
accept my apology,Copy !req
397. then I want you
to have this $12.Copy !req
398. The only thing of value
for me, Mr. Hunter,Copy !req
399. would be to know
that you're all right.Copy !req
400. Are you all right?Copy !req
401. Yeah. Yeah,
I'm all right.Copy !req
402. My brother and I, decided
to talk to this guyCopy !req
403. who's gonna help us understand
how to deal with this.Copy !req
404. Good for you, Shawn. That's
the right thing to do.Copy !req
405. Topanga...Copy !req
406. I know you're sorry.Copy !req
407. I got the card and
the fruit basket.Copy !req
408. It was missing an apple,
by the way.Copy !req
409. Right. Here.Copy !req
410. How you doing?
Hey.Copy !req
411. Wanna hang out
two weeks from Thursday?Copy !req
412. I'll be there.Copy !req
413. Good morning, Topanga.
I still love you.Copy !req
414. We can't start off
the day like that, Cory.Copy !req
415. I don't care
what you think.Copy !req
416. Fine.
Fine!Copy !req
417. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
418. I don't like me
when I drink, either.Copy !req
419. Good. Because I sure
like you when you don't.Copy !req