1. Hey, what are you
doing in my seat?Copy !req
2. Well, the wife and I
aren't together anymore,Copy !req
3. and I figured it would be
safer if I had a buffer.Copy !req
4. This break-up is now having
severe ramifications on me.Copy !req
5. Ooh. Ramifications.
Nice word, Jughead.Copy !req
6. You see? Now Feeny knows
I'm in the class.Copy !req
7. It's just
logistics, Shawn.Copy !req
8. Listen, if I sit
in that seat,Copy !req
9. I can still smell her hair,
hear her breathe,Copy !req
10. watch her sweater go up
when she raises her hand.Copy !req
11. Oh! Okay,
I'll sit here.Copy !req
12. But I'm only
between you two, okay?Copy !req
13. I'm not in
the middle of you.Copy !req
14. Hey, Topanga, can I
borrow your big pencil?Copy !req
15. They're not divorced, Kenny.
It's just a trial separation.Copy !req
16. Don't think I don't knowCopy !req
17. what "borrow a pencil"
means, okay?Copy !req
18. Nobody.Copy !req
19. Nobody's borrowed more
pencils than Shawn Hunter.Copy !req
20. Hey, thanks for not getting
in the middle of this.Copy !req
21. He was just asking
for a pencil.Copy !req
22. I know what
he was asking for,Copy !req
23. and if he asks again,Copy !req
24. I'll stab that big pencil
through his heart.Copy !req
25. You hear me, Kenny? Huh?Copy !req
26. Why is Shawn so obsessed
with you two?Copy !req
27. I don't know,Copy !req
28. but he's almost taking it
harder than me and Cory.Copy !req
29. We'll return to
The Young and the RestlessCopy !req
30. right after this
word from Feeny.Copy !req
31. And here is the word.Copy !req
32. Shut up.Copy !req
33. Mr. Feeny, I'm sure
if you recall the painCopy !req
34. of being stabbed in the back
by a girlfriend...Copy !req
35. I didn't stab him!
He stabbed me!Copy !req
36. Oh, I'd stab myself
before I'd stab you.Copy !req
37. Kenny, give me
that pencil.Copy !req
38. I don't have one.Copy !req
39. Now, listen.Copy !req
40. This class will not
be more interestedCopy !req
41. in the romantic goings-on
of its students,Copy !req
42. than it is with whatever
the hell I'm teaching.Copy !req
43. Matthews, go sit on
that side of the room.Copy !req
44. Lawrence, you sit on this side.Copy !req
45. Right now, let's go!Copy !req
46. Mr. Feeny,
you can't do that.Copy !req
47. You're contributing to the
furtherance of their apartness.Copy !req
48. I'm trying to
teach a class here.Copy !req
49. Now, Mr. Hunter,
Nebraska...Copy !req
50. Oh, don't try and
change the subject.Copy !req
51. Quiet!Copy !req
52. One more crazy interruption, and all
you nuts are going into detention.Copy !req
53. Oh, that's it.Copy !req
54. You know, I didn't think
seniors still got detention.Copy !req
55. They do when they
act like two-year-olds.Copy !req
56. "They do when
they act like two-year-olds."Copy !req
57. Mr. Matthews,
when one mocks someone,Copy !req
58. one should wait until they're
not looking right at them.Copy !req
59. I'm not in
my regular seat.Copy !req
60. This is detention, people.Copy !req
61. That means no talking, moving, or
fraternizing for the next hour and a half.Copy !req
62. Where are you going,
Mr. Feeny?Copy !req
63. I am not in detention, Mr. Hunter.
I can do as I please.Copy !req
64. And don't, for a moment, think because
of my absence from this room,Copy !req
65. that you're
not being watched.Copy !req
66. All I wanted
was a pencil.Copy !req
67. Oh, shut up, Kenny. You're
lucky to even be here.Copy !req
68. I don't happen to
see it that way.Copy !req
69. Where do you think
you're going?Copy !req
70. Well, if we're going to
be in here for over an hour,Copy !req
71. then I'm going to my locker
to get my cheese product.Copy !req
72. Can you believe this?
Feeny locked us in.Copy !req
73. He can't do that!Copy !req
74. It's against the Geneva
Detention Convention.Copy !req
75. Whoa.Copy !req
76. Do you think
he works on that look?Copy !req
77. Hey, Giggles,
we're locked in.Copy !req
78. Do you have the key?Copy !req
79. Great.Copy !req
80. You wanna let us out?Copy !req
81. Hey, this is
getting scary.Copy !req
82. What is going on?Copy !req
83. I don't know,
but I like it.Copy !req
84. Now I don't like it
as much.Copy !req
85. It's Feeny.Copy !req
86. There's blood on
the blackboard, Shawn.Copy !req
87. I don't think it's 'cause
he ran out of chalk.Copy !req
88. No, no. It's fake.
It's all fake.Copy !req
89. Feeny's pulling
some elaborate hoax.Copy !req
90. Why?Copy !req
91. Well, why does Feeny do anything?
To teach us something.Copy !req
92. What's he trying
to teach us?Copy !req
93. To pay attention
or we die.Copy !req
94. You're nuts.
Stop attacking me, okay?Copy !req
95. You've given up your
right to attack me.Copy !req
96. This doesn't
make any sense.Copy !req
97. It does if you've seen as
many horror films as I have.Copy !req
98. This is classic. The locked
door, the scary janitor,Copy !req
99. the bloody warning, and our
soon-to-be first victim.Copy !req
100. Me? Why me?Copy !req
101. Well, Kenny, it's certainly
not going to be any of us.Copy !req
102. What are you thinking?
What is this guy doing?Copy !req
103. All right.Copy !req
104. You're the horror film
expert, what's that?Copy !req
105. That's the sound of
our beating hearts.Copy !req
106. It signifies
our heightened fear.Copy !req
107. And the fact that
something horribleCopy !req
108. is about to walk in
that door right now!Copy !req
109. Heidi ho!Copy !req
110. Who bled
on the blackboard?Copy !req
111. What are you guys
doing here?Copy !req
112. Well, Jack and I had the
hankering for some hoops.Copy !req
113. Miss the smell of the old John
Adams locker room, you know.Copy !req
114. Did you guys see
Feeny out there?Copy !req
115. Nope. Not a soul.Copy !req
116. Actually,
it was kind of creepy.Copy !req
117. Why creepy? Why's it creepy? Why'd
you say creepy? Why creepy?Copy !req
118. I think it had something
to do with that janitor.Copy !req
119. I knew it!Copy !req
120. See, we were
finished playing,Copy !req
121. went to the locker
room to change,Copy !req
122. and there he was, pushing his squeaky
bin, emptying the wastebaskets.Copy !req
123. Well, that's not
so creepy.Copy !req
124. Oh, and there was blood
coming out of the showers.Copy !req
125. Eric, how was the pressure?Copy !req
126. Oh, really good. Got all
the soap out of my hair...Copy !req
127. Blood in the showers?Copy !req
128. This is straight out of that horror
film classic, Blood in the Showers.Copy !req
129. No, this isn't
the janitor.Copy !req
130. This is the work of a
diabolical master villain.Copy !req
131. Feeny?
Absolutely, Feeny.Copy !req
132. I just feel so bad that Kenny
has to be the first to die.Copy !req
133. I really wish
you'd stop saying that.Copy !req
134. So what do you think
Feeny's trying to do?Copy !req
135. I think that he knows we're too
old for detention to scare usCopy !req
136. like it did when we were
little kids, right?Copy !req
137. So he's turned this school into
a total chamber of horrors.Copy !req
138. Dr. Feeny's
house of terror!Copy !req
139. That doesn't scare me.
Nothing scares me.Copy !req
140. And Topanga doesn't belong to
your best friend, Cor anymore.Copy !req
141. And if I want to borrow a
pencil from her, I will.Copy !req
142. And what are you
gonna do about it?Copy !req
143. You put on a little weight since
the last time you were scared?Copy !req
144. No, no, no. You scream
when the lights go off.Copy !req
145. If you scream when
the lights come on,Copy !req
146. it takes away from
the first scream.Copy !req
147. Now you're
just being loud.Copy !req
148. We'll always remember
he was that tall.Copy !req
149. Oh, my gosh, they killed Kenny!
Yeah!Copy !req
150. ♪ Welcome to John Adams HighCopy !req
151. Feeny, Feeny, Feeny,
you are so low-budget.Copy !req
152. Wake up, Shawn. This
could not be Mr. Feeny.Copy !req
153. No, then what? There really is
some psycho killer on the loose?Copy !req
154. You'd rather
believe that?Copy !req
155. Oh, my God!Copy !req
156. What? What?Copy !req
157. My basketball's
gone, too!Copy !req
158. No, it's not.
I've got it.Copy !req
159. Oh, good.Copy !req
160. Look, I don't care
who's behind this.Copy !req
161. I'm scared. Can we
please get out of here?Copy !req
162. Of course we can't
get out of here.Copy !req
163. Feeny is the only one with
the keys to all the doors.Copy !req
164. And they're all locked
and chained by now.Copy !req
165. Help! Help!
Help! Help!Copy !req
166. Darn it,
he's right!Copy !req
167. Why won't you believe me?
It's all so predictable.Copy !req
168. Yeah? Well, what's
gonna happen next?Copy !req
169. First, there'll be some strange
shrouded figure creeping behind usCopy !req
170. none of us will see.Copy !req
171. Then the lights
will flicker,Copy !req
172. and Feeny will pop up and
reveal his master plan to us.Copy !req
173. ♪ Here's a knife,
here's a gunCopy !req
174. Mr. Feeny, I have
got to hand it to you.Copy !req
175. You have really outdone
yourself this time.Copy !req
176. I mean, killing Kenny,
obvious choice.Copy !req
177. But the pencil, George! I
mean, that was genius.Copy !req
178. I knew it was you
all along.Copy !req
179. What's the big lesson? What
were you trying to teach us?Copy !req
180. Oh, my gosh!
They killed Feeny!Copy !req
181. I was wrong.Copy !req
182. Feeny's dead. Feeny's dead.
Mr. Feeny is dead.Copy !req
183. Feeny can't die.
How can Feeny die?Copy !req
184. He was the first suspect.
It's my fault.Copy !req
185. The second I suspected him,
I signed his death warrant.Copy !req
186. Well, is any one of us safe?Copy !req
187. Yeah, virgins.
Virgins never die!Copy !req
188. All right.
Thanks for saving me.Copy !req
189. I'm dead.Copy !req
190. I'm dead.Copy !req
191. Well, I'll get as sick as you
can get without actually dying.Copy !req
192. What about Feeny?
He's dead.Copy !req
193. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
194. Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny!
Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny!Copy !req
195. I said, go, go, go Feeny.
I said, go, go, go...Copy !req
196. Okay! Listen.Copy !req
197. As happy as I am for Feeny,
I am scared to death here.Copy !req
198. Okay, what do we do?Copy !req
199. Okay, all right,
let's calmly recap.Copy !req
200. Kenny's dead, Feeny's dead, we're
trapped inside with the killer!Copy !req
201. So basically, we have to
figure out who the killer is.Copy !req
202. Yeah, we should
split up.Copy !req
203. Right away, wrong.Copy !req
204. Okay, fine, we'll just stay right
here, and we'll all be fine.Copy !req
205. Don't say it!Copy !req
206. The janitor's
the killer.Copy !req
207. And that's the end
of the janitor.Copy !req
208. Oh, stop being crazy.Copy !req
209. Yeah, Shawn, you were wrong about
Feeny, and you're wrong about this.Copy !req
210. You were wrong
to break up with Cory.Copy !req
211. What does that have
to do with anything?Copy !req
212. Did any of this happen
when you two were together?Copy !req
213. No.Copy !req
214. You've killed us.
You've killed us all.Copy !req
215. Hey, hey, hey,
now you're overreacting.Copy !req
216. There's only two people
that are horribly dead.Copy !req
217. That's an acceptable loss.Copy !req
218. Oh, my God,
it's coming closer.Copy !req
219. He's coming. He's
coming for all of us!Copy !req
220. Come on,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
221. Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
222. You know, you are
really good at that.Copy !req
223. Thank you.Copy !req
224. So where is he?Copy !req
225. He's probably
on his way.Copy !req
226. I don't think so.Copy !req
227. Angela?
Yeah?Copy !req
228. You sick of screaming?
Yes.Copy !req
229. Then don't look in here.Copy !req
230. There's, like,
15 retainers in there!Copy !req
231. And this.Copy !req
232. Oh, me, okay.Copy !req
233. Wait a second.
The killer's dead!Copy !req
234. We're off the hook! Up top!Copy !req
235. I don't get it, man. It
had to be the janitor.Copy !req
236. There's nobody else
in here. Is there?Copy !req
237. All right, how do
you explain this?Copy !req
238. Easy. The death of the
janitor signifiesCopy !req
239. the end of the last of
the obvious suspects.Copy !req
240. Just like in the cult classic, The
Last of the Obvious Suspects.Copy !req
241. But that
would mean...Copy !req
242. The killer
is one of us.Copy !req
243. Like in
The Killer is One of Us.Copy !req
244. Enough already!Copy !req
245. Why? Do we upset you?Copy !req
246. Yes!Copy !req
247. Upset you enoughCopy !req
248. to kill?Copy !req
249. I'm done.Copy !req
250. Okay, I think we need
to face it, everybody.Copy !req
251. One of us is a crazy,Copy !req
252. psychopathicCopy !req
253. murderer.Copy !req
254. The question isCopy !req
255. which one of us
is it?Copy !req
256. Look, none of us
is a killer.Copy !req
257. There has to be
somebody else in hereCopy !req
258. and there has to be
another way out.Copy !req
259. Somebody has to
find a way out.Copy !req
260. Fine, I'll do it.
I'm the oldest.Copy !req
261. Actually,
I'm the oldest.Copy !req
262. Yeah, but I've lived
the longest.Copy !req
263. Okay, fine,
you can go.Copy !req
264. All right, so, you know,
what just happened here?Copy !req
265. You get to stay out here
all by yourself.Copy !req
266. Oh, good!Copy !req
267. Good luck.
Thanks, man.Copy !req
268. Excuse me?Copy !req
269. Killer! Killer!
You're the killer!Copy !req
270. And I know you're gonna tell
me you're not the killer.Copy !req
271. Because you're beautiful, you think
I'm gonna believe you, but I'm not!Copy !req
272. This is just like that movie,
Killer, Killer, You're the Killer.Copy !req
273. And I knew you're
gonna tell me that...Copy !req
274. I'm not the killer.Copy !req
275. I believe you.Copy !req
276. See, I'm a new student here, and I was
in study hall and I got locked in.Copy !req
277. I've been
so frightened.Copy !req
278. You are very friendly,
aren't you?Copy !req
279. I'm friendly enough to keep you
safe from the bad, bad killer man.Copy !req
280. Hi. Eric Matthews.
And you are?Copy !req
281. Jennifer Love Fefferman.Copy !req
282. It's such
a beautiful name.Copy !req
283. Can I call you Feffy?Copy !req
284. Everybody does.Copy !req
285. She doesn't look like
the killer type to me.Copy !req
286. Me, neither. I am, however,
less sure about Eric.Copy !req
287. Don't assume.Copy !req
288. It's always the one you
think can't be the killer.Copy !req
289. You can hang out
with us, Feffy.Copy !req
290. Yeah, as long as we all hang out
together, we'll all be safe.Copy !req
291. I'm sorry, you...Copy !req
292. Yes, girl, I am the
screamer around here.Copy !req
293. Hello?Copy !req
294. Do you like
scary movies?Copy !req
295. What's your favorite?Copy !req
296. Ooh, okay.Copy !req
297. Well, I like that one with the
hotty-hot-hot from Party of Five.Copy !req
298. Neve Campbell?
Duh.Copy !req
299. Guys, we can use
the phone to help us.Copy !req
300. That's a great idea because when
we find out who the killer is,Copy !req
301. we can hit him
with this.Copy !req
302. Hello? Oh, hey!
It's the killer.Copy !req
303. Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
304. Ooh. Uh-huh.Copy !req
305. Yeah.
All righty. Bye-bye.Copy !req
306. On and on.Copy !req
307. What did he say?
Was he mad?Copy !req
308. He said
what all killers say.Copy !req
309. He wants to come here,
he wants to kill us.Copy !req
310. Wants us
to wait right here.Copy !req
311. You know, I don't trust this
Jennifer Love FeffermanCopy !req
312. any more than
I can throw her.Copy !req
313. I know. We don't know
anything about her, do we?Copy !req
314. When did this school
get a library?Copy !req
315. Every day's a new
adventure, isn't it?Copy !req
316. All right, everybody,Copy !req
317. as much as this goes against
my horror movie instincts,Copy !req
318. I think we should split up.Copy !req
319. That way the killer can't
get to us all at once.Copy !req
320. You know, I don't understand why
anyone would do this to us.Copy !req
321. I mean, we're good kids.
Why? For what reason?Copy !req
322. Yeah. Hey, we're all
scared, but you know what?Copy !req
323. Don't worry. We're going
to get out of this.Copy !req
324. Feffy! I'll save you!Copy !req
325. No, it's too late, but I think
I know who the killer is.Copy !req
326. Save your breath, Feffy. There'll
be plenty of time for that later.Copy !req
327. Eric, I'm dying.Copy !req
328. Oh, right! Okay, then maybe
you should tell me now.Copy !req
329. I caught a glimpse of the killer
just before the books hit me.Copy !req
330. The killer is...Copy !req
331. Eric! Feffy. Eric!Copy !req
332. Oh, he was my friend, my roommate.
I didn't really know her.Copy !req
333. He paid half the rent.Copy !req
334. Now I can't afford to live
in my apartment anymore.Copy !req
335. Wait, if I can't afford to
live in my apartment anymore,Copy !req
336. then I don't
wanna live.Copy !req
337. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
338. Shawn is still
your roommate.Copy !req
339. Together you can
make the rent.Copy !req
340. Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's go
back inside now. Thanks.Copy !req
341. Okay, I know
I was wrong before,Copy !req
342. but I really, really think
this guy's the killer.Copy !req
343. Why are you
doing this to us?Copy !req
344. Shawn?Copy !req
345. Shawn?Copy !req
346. Hey, Shawn.Copy !req
347. Cory.Copy !req
348. You fell asleep.Copy !req
349. Feeny's looking at you
like he's going to kill you.Copy !req
350. No, he's not
the killer. I am.Copy !req
351. What?Copy !req
352. Mr. Feeny, you can let
everybody else go.Copy !req
353. It's not their fault we're in detention.
It's mine.Copy !req
354. How do you
figure that?Copy !req
355. Well, Cory and Topanga
aren't together anymore.Copy !req
356. Yes, I know. I, too,
read Teen Beat, Mr. Hunter.Copy !req
357. And I guess I've been
taking it pretty hard.Copy !req
358. And I'm sorry I disrupted the
class and killed everybody,Copy !req
359. but I think
I know why I did it.Copy !req
360. Pray tell.Copy !req
361. You guys have been together
since before I even knew you.Copy !req
362. And if you're not,Copy !req
363. then I guess I feel like there's
nothing I can depend on.Copy !req
364. And it really makes me angry that
there's nothing I can do to fix that.Copy !req
365. Shawn.Copy !req
366. You're not
responsible for this.Copy !req
367. What do you mean?Copy !req
368. This isn't your fault.Copy !req
369. Something bad
happened, Mr. Hunter,Copy !req
370. but for the very first time,
you're not responsible.Copy !req
371. How come
I feel so bad?Copy !req
372. Well, because you're
a troubled young man.Copy !req
373. I recognize that from the
movie, A Troubled Young Man.Copy !req
374. You may all go.Copy !req
375. It's obvious that you've
been punished enough.Copy !req
376. The Great Society,
Mr. Matthews.Copy !req
377. Lyndon Johnson's agenda for his
public policy, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
378. Nebraska.Copy !req
379. Miss Lawrence.Copy !req
380. Gee, I don't know. You've actually
stumped me, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
381. Nebraska, Mr. Hunter.Copy !req
382. The only state with a unicameral
legislature, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
383. Pythagorean theorem,
Miss Moore.Copy !req
384. A squared plus B squared equals
C squared, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
385. Actually,
I've written a thesisCopy !req
386. which disputes
that theory,Copy !req
387. and when I accept my
Fields Medal for mathematics,Copy !req
388. I will be sure to thank you,
sir, Mr. Feeny, sir.Copy !req
389. Come on, everyone,Copy !req
390. let's give a hand
for sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
391. Nebraska, Mr. Hunter.
Nebraska!Copy !req
392. That's the 75th state.
Major export, tortillas.Copy !req