1. Hey, what are you
doing in my seat?Copy !req
2. Well, the wife and I
aren't together anymore,Copy !req
3. and I figured it would
be safer if I had a buffer.Copy !req
4. This break-up is now having
severe ramifications on me.Copy !req
5. Ooh. Ramifications.
Nice word, Jughead.Copy !req
6. You see? Now Feeny
knows I'm in the class.Copy !req
7. It's just logistics, Shawn.Copy !req
8. Listen, if I sit in that seat,Copy !req
9. I can still smell her
hair, hear her breathe,Copy !req
10. watch her sweater go up
when she raises her hand.Copy !req
11. Oh! Okay, I'll sit here.Copy !req
12. But I'm only between
you two, okay?Copy !req
13. I'm not in the middle of you.Copy !req
14. Hey, Topanga, can I
borrow your big pencil?Copy !req
15. They're not divorced, Kenny.
It's just a trial separation.Copy !req
16. Don't think I don't knowCopy !req
17. what "borrow a
pencil" means, okay?Copy !req
18. Nobody.Copy !req
19. Nobody's borrowed more
pencils than Shawn Hunter.Copy !req
20. Hey, thanks for not
getting in the middle of this.Copy !req
21. He was just asking for a pencil.Copy !req
22. I know what he was asking for,Copy !req
23. and if he asks again,Copy !req
24. I'll stab that big pencil
through his heart.Copy !req
25. You hear me, Kenny? Huh?Copy !req
26. Why is Shawn so
obsessed with you two?Copy !req
27. I don't know,Copy !req
28. but he's almost taking it
harder than me and Cory.Copy !req
29. We'll return to The
Young and the RestlessCopy !req
30. right after this
word from Feeny.Copy !req
31. And here is the word.Copy !req
32. Shut up.Copy !req
33. Mr. Feeny, I'm sure
if you recall the painCopy !req
34. of being stabbed in
the back by a girlfriend...Copy !req
35. I didn't stab him!
He stabbed me!Copy !req
36. Oh, I'd stab myself
before I'd stab you.Copy !req
37. Kenny, give me that pencil.Copy !req
38. I don't have one.Copy !req
39. Now, listen.Copy !req
40. This class will not
be more interestedCopy !req
41. in the romantic
goings-on of its students,Copy !req
42. than it is with whatever
the hell I'm teaching.Copy !req
43. Matthews, go sit on
that side of the room.Copy !req
44. Lawrence, you sit on this side.Copy !req
45. Right now, let's go!Copy !req
46. Mr. Feeny, you can't do that.Copy !req
47. You're contributing to the
furtherance of their apartness.Copy !req
48. I'm trying to
teach a class here.Copy !req
49. Now, Mr. Hunter, Nebraska...Copy !req
50. Oh, don't try and
change the subject.Copy !req
51. Quiet!Copy !req
52. One more crazy interruption, and
all you nuts are going into detention.Copy !req
53. Oh, that's it.Copy !req
54. You know, I didn't think
seniors still got detention.Copy !req
55. They do when they
act like two-year-olds.Copy !req
56. "They do when they
act like two-year-olds."Copy !req
57. Mr. Matthews, when
one mocks someone,Copy !req
58. one should wait until they're
not looking right at them.Copy !req
59. I'm not in my regular seat.Copy !req
60. This is detention, people.Copy !req
61. That means no talking, moving, or
fraternizing for the next hour and a half.Copy !req
62. Where are you going, Mr. Feeny?Copy !req
63. I am not in detention,
Mr. Hunter. I can do as I please.Copy !req
64. And don't, for a moment, think
because of my absence from this room,Copy !req
65. that you're not being watched.Copy !req
66. All I wanted was a pencil.Copy !req
67. Oh, shut up, Kenny.
You're lucky to even be here.Copy !req
68. I don't happen
to see it that way.Copy !req
69. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
70. Well, if we're going to be
in here for over an hour,Copy !req
71. then I'm going to my locker
to get my cheese product.Copy !req
72. Can you believe this?
Feeny locked us in.Copy !req
73. He can't do that!Copy !req
74. It's against the Geneva
Detention Convention.Copy !req
75. Whoa.Copy !req
76. Do you think he
works on that look?Copy !req
77. Hey, Giggles, we're locked in.Copy !req
78. Do you have the key?Copy !req
79. Great.Copy !req
80. You wanna let us out?Copy !req
81. Hey, this is getting scary.Copy !req
82. What is going on?Copy !req
83. I don't know, but I like it.Copy !req
84. Now I don't like it as much.Copy !req
85. It's Feeny.Copy !req
86. There's blood on the
blackboard, Shawn.Copy !req
87. I don't think it's 'cause
he ran out of chalk.Copy !req
88. No, no. It's
fake. It's all fake.Copy !req
89. Feeny's pulling
some elaborate hoax.Copy !req
90. Why?Copy !req
91. Well, why does Feeny do
anything? To teach us something.Copy !req
92. What's he trying to teach us?Copy !req
93. To pay attention or we die.Copy !req
94. You're nuts. Stop
attacking me, okay?Copy !req
95. You've given up
your right to attack me.Copy !req
96. This doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
97. It does if you've seen as
many horror films as I have.Copy !req
98. This is classic. The locked
door, the scary janitor,Copy !req
99. the bloody warning, and
our soon-to-be first victim.Copy !req
100. Me? Why me?Copy !req
101. Well, Kenny, it's certainly
not going to be any of us.Copy !req
102. What are you thinking?
What is this guy doing?Copy !req
103. All right.Copy !req
104. You're the horror film
expert, what's that?Copy !req
105. That's the sound of
our beating hearts.Copy !req
106. It signifies our
heightened fear.Copy !req
107. And the fact that
something horribleCopy !req
108. is about to walk in
that door right now!Copy !req
109. Heidi ho!Copy !req
110. Who bled on the blackboard?Copy !req
111. What are you guys doing here?Copy !req
112. Well, Jack and I had the
hankering for some hoops.Copy !req
113. Miss the smell of the old John
Adams locker room, you know.Copy !req
114. Did you guys see
Feeny out there?Copy !req
115. Nope. Not a soul.Copy !req
116. Actually, it was kind of creepy.Copy !req
117. Why creepy? Why's it creepy?
Why'd you say creepy? Why creepy?Copy !req
118. I think it had something
to do with that janitor.Copy !req
119. I knew it!Copy !req
120. See, we were finished playing,Copy !req
121. went to the locker
room to change,Copy !req
122. and there he was, pushing his
squeaky bin, emptying the wastebaskets.Copy !req
123. Well, that's not so creepy.Copy !req
124. Oh, and there was blood
coming out of the showers.Copy !req
125. Eric, how was the pressure?Copy !req
126. Oh, really good. Got all
the soap out of my hair...Copy !req
127. Blood in the showers?Copy !req
128. This is straight out of that horror
film classic, Blood in the Showers.Copy !req
129. No, this isn't the janitor.Copy !req
130. This is the work of a
diabolical master villain.Copy !req
131. Feeny? Absolutely, Feeny.Copy !req
132. I just feel so bad that Kenny
has to be the first to die.Copy !req
133. I really wish you'd
stop saying that.Copy !req
134. So what do you think
Feeny's trying to do?Copy !req
135. I think that he knows we're
too old for detention to scare usCopy !req
136. like it did when we
were little kids, right?Copy !req
137. So he's turned this school
into a total chamber of horrors.Copy !req
138. Dr. Feeny's house of terror!Copy !req
139. That doesn't scare
me. Nothing scares me.Copy !req
140. And Topanga doesn't belong
to your best friend, Cor anymore.Copy !req
141. And if I want to borrow
a pencil from her, I will.Copy !req
142. And what are you
gonna do about it?Copy !req
143. You put on a little weight since
the last time you were scared?Copy !req
144. No, no, no. You scream
when the lights go off.Copy !req
145. If you scream when
the lights come on,Copy !req
146. it takes away from
the first scream.Copy !req
147. Now you're just being loud.Copy !req
148. We'll always remember
he was that tall.Copy !req
149. Oh, my gosh, they
killed Kenny! Yeah!Copy !req
150. Feeny, Feeny, Feeny,
you are so low-budget.Copy !req
151. Wake up, Shawn. This
could not be Mr. Feeny.Copy !req
152. No, then what? There really is
some psycho killer on the loose?Copy !req
153. You'd rather believe that?Copy !req
154. Oh, my God!Copy !req
155. What? What?Copy !req
156. My basketball's gone, too!Copy !req
157. No, it's not. I've got it.Copy !req
158. Oh, good.Copy !req
159. Look, I don't care
who's behind this.Copy !req
160. I'm scared. Can we
please get out of here?Copy !req
161. Of course we can't
get out of here.Copy !req
162. Feeny is the only one with
the keys to all the doors.Copy !req
163. And they're all locked
and chained by now.Copy !req
164. Help! Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
165. Darn it, he's right!Copy !req
166. Why won't you believe
me? It's all so predictable.Copy !req
167. Yeah? Well, what's
gonna happen next?Copy !req
168. First, there'll be some strange
shrouded figure creeping behind usCopy !req
169. none of us will see.Copy !req
170. Then the lights will flicker,Copy !req
171. and Feeny will pop up and
reveal his master plan to us.Copy !req
172. Mr. Feeny, I have
got to hand it to you.Copy !req
173. You have really
outdone yourself this time.Copy !req
174. I mean, killing
Kenny, obvious choice.Copy !req
175. But the pencil, George!
I mean, that was genius.Copy !req
176. I knew it was you all along.Copy !req
177. What's the big lesson? What
were you trying to teach us?Copy !req
178. Oh, my gosh! They killed Feeny!Copy !req
179. I was wrong.Copy !req
180. Feeny's dead. Feeny's
dead. Mr. Feeny is dead.Copy !req
181. Feeny can't die.
How can Feeny die?Copy !req
182. He was the first
suspect. It's my fault.Copy !req
183. The second I suspected
him, I signed his death warrant.Copy !req
184. Well, is any one of us safe?Copy !req
185. Yeah, virgins.
Virgins never die!Copy !req
186. All right. Thanks for saving me.Copy !req
187. I'm dead.Copy !req
188. I'm dead.Copy !req
189. Well, I'll get as sick as you
can get without actually dying.Copy !req
190. What about Feeny? He's dead.Copy !req
191. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
192. Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny!
Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny!Copy !req
193. I said, go, go, go
Feeny. I said, go, go, go...Copy !req
194. Okay! Listen.Copy !req
195. As happy as I am for Feeny,
I am scared to death here.Copy !req
196. Okay, what do we do?Copy !req
197. Okay, all right,
let's calmly recap.Copy !req
198. Kenny's dead, Feeny's dead,
we're trapped inside with the killer!Copy !req
199. So basically, we have to
figure out who the killer is.Copy !req
200. Yeah, we should split up.Copy !req
201. Right away, wrong.Copy !req
202. Okay, fine, we'll just stay
right here, and we'll all be fine.Copy !req
203. Don't say it!Copy !req
204. The janitor's the killer.Copy !req
205. And that's the
end of the janitor.Copy !req
206. Oh, stop being crazy.Copy !req
207. Yeah, Shawn, you were wrong about
Feeny, and you're wrong about this.Copy !req
208. You were wrong to
break up with Cory.Copy !req
209. What does that have
to do with anything?Copy !req
210. Did any of this happen
when you two were together?Copy !req
211. No.Copy !req
212. You've killed us.
You've killed us all.Copy !req
213. Hey, hey, hey, now
you're overreacting.Copy !req
214. There's only two people
that are horribly dead.Copy !req
215. That's an acceptable loss.Copy !req
216. Oh, my God, it's coming closer.Copy !req
217. He's coming. He's
coming for all of us!Copy !req
218. Come on, let's get out of here!Copy !req
219. Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
220. You know, you are
really good at that.Copy !req
221. Thank you.Copy !req
222. So where is he?Copy !req
223. He's probably on his way.Copy !req
224. I don't think so.Copy !req
225. Angela? Yeah?Copy !req
226. You sick of screaming? Yes.Copy !req
227. Then don't look in here.Copy !req
228. There's, like, 15
retainers in there!Copy !req
229. And this.Copy !req
230. Oh, me, okay.Copy !req
231. Wait a second.
The killer's dead!Copy !req
232. We're off the hook! Up top!Copy !req
233. I don't get it, man. It
had to be the janitor.Copy !req
234. There's nobody
else in here. Is there?Copy !req
235. All right, how do
you explain this?Copy !req
236. Easy. The death of
the janitor signifiesCopy !req
237. the end of the last of
the obvious suspects.Copy !req
238. Just like in the cult classic, The
Last of the Obvious Suspects.Copy !req
239. But that would mean...Copy !req
240. The killer is one of us.Copy !req
241. Like in The Killer is One of Us.Copy !req
242. Enough already!Copy !req
243. Why? Do we upset you?Copy !req
244. Yes!Copy !req
245. Upset you enoughCopy !req
246. to kill?Copy !req
247. I'm done.Copy !req
248. Okay, I think we need
to face it, everybody.Copy !req
249. One of us is a crazy,Copy !req
250. psychopathicCopy !req
251. murderer.Copy !req
252. The question isCopy !req
253. which one of us is it?Copy !req
254. Look, none of us is a killer.Copy !req
255. There has to be
somebody else in hereCopy !req
256. and there has to
be another way out.Copy !req
257. Somebody has to find a way out.Copy !req
258. Fine, I'll do it.
I'm the oldest.Copy !req
259. Actually, I'm the oldest.Copy !req
260. Yeah, but I've
lived the longest.Copy !req
261. Okay, fine, you can go.Copy !req
262. All right, so, you know,
what just happened here?Copy !req
263. You get to stay out
here all by yourself.Copy !req
264. Oh, good!Copy !req
265. Good luck. Thanks, man.Copy !req
266. Excuse me?Copy !req
267. Killer! Killer!
You're the killer!Copy !req
268. And I know you're gonna
tell me you're not the killer.Copy !req
269. Because you're beautiful, you think
I'm gonna believe you, but I'm not!Copy !req
270. This is just like that movie,
Killer, Killer, You're the Killer.Copy !req
271. And I knew you're
gonna tell me that...Copy !req
272. I'm not the killer.Copy !req
273. I believe you.Copy !req
274. See, I'm a new student here, and I
was in study hall and I got locked in.Copy !req
275. I've been so frightened.Copy !req
276. You are very
friendly, aren't you?Copy !req
277. I'm friendly enough to keep you
safe from the bad, bad killer man.Copy !req
278. Hi. Eric Matthews. And you are?Copy !req
279. Jennifer Love Fefferman.Copy !req
280. It's such a beautiful name.Copy !req
281. Can I call you Feffy?Copy !req
282. Everybody does.Copy !req
283. She doesn't look like
the killer type to me.Copy !req
284. Me, neither. I am, however,
less sure about Eric.Copy !req
285. Don't assume.Copy !req
286. It's always the one you
think can't be the killer.Copy !req
287. You can hang out with us, Feffy.Copy !req
288. Yeah, as long as we all hang
out together, we'll all be safe.Copy !req
289. I'm sorry, you...Copy !req
290. Yes, girl, I am the
screamer around here.Copy !req
291. Hello?Copy !req
292. Do you like scary movies?Copy !req
293. What's your favorite?Copy !req
294. Ooh, okay.Copy !req
295. Well, I like that one with the
hotty-hot-hot from Party of Five.Copy !req
296. Neve Campbell? Duh.Copy !req
297. Guys, we can use
the phone to help us.Copy !req
298. That's a great idea because
when we find out who the killer is,Copy !req
299. we can hit him with this.Copy !req
300. Hello? Oh, hey! It's the killer.Copy !req
301. Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
302. Ooh. Uh-huh.Copy !req
303. Yeah. All righty. Bye-bye.Copy !req
304. On and on.Copy !req
305. What did he say? Was he mad?Copy !req
306. He said what all killers say.Copy !req
307. He wants to come
here, he wants to kill us.Copy !req
308. Wants us to wait right here.Copy !req
309. You know, I don't trust
this Jennifer Love FeffermanCopy !req
310. any more than I can throw her.Copy !req
311. I know. We don't know
anything about her, do we?Copy !req
312. When did this
school get a library?Copy !req
313. Every day's a new
adventure, isn't it?Copy !req
314. All right, everybody,Copy !req
315. as much as this goes against
my horror movie instincts,Copy !req
316. I think we should split up.Copy !req
317. That way the killer
can't get to us all at once.Copy !req
318. You know, I don't understand
why anyone would do this to us.Copy !req
319. I mean, we're good kids.
Why? For what reason?Copy !req
320. Yeah. Hey, we're all
scared, but you know what?Copy !req
321. Don't worry. We're
going to get out of this.Copy !req
322. Feffy! I'll save you!Copy !req
323. No, it's too late, but I think
I know who the killer is.Copy !req
324. Save your breath, Feffy. There'll
be plenty of time for that later.Copy !req
325. Eric, I'm dying.Copy !req
326. Oh, right! Okay, then maybe
you should tell me now.Copy !req
327. I caught a glimpse of the killer
just before the books hit me.Copy !req
328. The killer is...Copy !req
329. Eric! Feffy. Eric!Copy !req
330. Oh, he was my friend, my
roommate. I didn't really know her.Copy !req
331. He paid half the rent.Copy !req
332. Now I can't afford to live
in my apartment anymore.Copy !req
333. Wait, if I can't afford to live
in my apartment anymore,Copy !req
334. then I don't wanna live.Copy !req
335. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
336. Shawn is still your roommate.Copy !req
337. Together you can make the rent.Copy !req
338. Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's go
back inside now. Thanks.Copy !req
339. Okay, I know I was wrong before,Copy !req
340. but I really, really
think this guy's the killer.Copy !req
341. Why are you doing this to us?Copy !req
342. Shawn?Copy !req
343. Shawn?Copy !req
344. Hey, Shawn.Copy !req
345. Cory.Copy !req
346. You fell asleep.Copy !req
347. Feeny's looking at you
like he's going to kill you.Copy !req
348. No, he's not the killer. I am.Copy !req
349. What?Copy !req
350. Mr. Feeny, you can
let everybody else go.Copy !req
351. It's not their fault we're
in detention. It's mine.Copy !req
352. How do you figure that?Copy !req
353. Well, Cory and Topanga
aren't together anymore.Copy !req
354. Yes, I know. I, too, read
Teen Beat, Mr. Hunter.Copy !req
355. And I guess I've been
taking it pretty hard.Copy !req
356. And I'm sorry I disrupted
the class and killed everybody,Copy !req
357. but I think I know why I did it.Copy !req
358. Pray tell.Copy !req
359. You guys have been together
since before I even knew you.Copy !req
360. And if you're not,Copy !req
361. then I guess I feel like there's
nothing I can depend on.Copy !req
362. And it really makes me angry that
there's nothing I can do to fix that.Copy !req
363. Shawn.Copy !req
364. You're not responsible for this.Copy !req
365. What do you mean?Copy !req
366. This isn't your fault.Copy !req
367. Something bad
happened, Mr. Hunter,Copy !req
368. but for the very first time,
you're not responsible.Copy !req
369. How come I feel so bad?Copy !req
370. Well, because you're
a troubled young man.Copy !req
371. I recognize that from the
movie, A Troubled Young Man.Copy !req
372. You may all go.Copy !req
373. It's obvious that you've
been punished enough.Copy !req
374. The Great Society, Mr. Matthews.Copy !req
375. Lyndon Johnson's agenda for
his public policy, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
376. Nebraska.Copy !req
377. Miss Lawrence.Copy !req
378. Gee, I don't know. You've actually
stumped me, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
379. Nebraska, Mr. Hunter.Copy !req
380. The only state with a unicameral
legislature, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
381. Pythagorean theorem, Miss Moore.Copy !req
382. A squared plus B squared equals
C squared, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
383. Actually, I've written a thesisCopy !req
384. which disputes that theory,Copy !req
385. and when I accept my
Fields Medal for mathematics,Copy !req
386. I will be sure to thank
you, sir, Mr. Feeny, sir.Copy !req
387. Come on, everyone,Copy !req
388. let's give a hand
for sir, Mr. Feeny, sir!Copy !req
389. Nebraska, Mr. Hunter. Nebraska!Copy !req
390. That's the 75th state.
Major export, tortillas.Copy !req