1. Twenty years and our aluminum
tree looks good as new.Copy !req
2. Love this tree.Copy !req
3. I like you, Eric,
but I love this tree.Copy !req
4. Okay, please, I am just
asking you, please,Copy !req
5. Topanga's gonna be staying
here for Christmas, overnight.Copy !req
6. Could we please not run
naked down the hallCopy !req
7. singing We Wish You
a Merry Christmas?Copy !req
8. I'm looking at you.Copy !req
9. I only do it because people
have come to expect it.Copy !req
10. Anything embarrassing about
your dad you'd care to mention?Copy !req
11. Well, at this stage of your life,
are you capable of change?Copy !req
12. Nope.Copy !req
13. Okay, so just
when you do it,Copy !req
14. say, "excuse me."Copy !req
15. Eric, come here.Copy !req
16. What?Copy !req
17. What do you think of this?
A ring.Copy !req
18. This is so sweet, Cory,
but I can't accept this.Copy !req
19. We're family.
It'd be wrong.Copy !req
20. No. It's a promise
ring for Topanga.Copy !req
21. It means we're gonna
be together forever.Copy !req
22. That's really precious.Copy !req
23. You guys must be the most
precious couple in the universe.Copy !req
24. You're freaks.Copy !req
25. No naked running.
You got it?Copy !req
26. Cor, look what I brought
you for Christmas.Copy !req
27. Look, Miss Topanga head.Copy !req
28. Hi, guys.Copy !req
29. Thanks for letting me
spend Christmas with you.Copy !req
30. My parents went on
a cruise to Barbados,Copy !req
31. but I told them, no, I wanted
to spend Christmas with Cory.Copy !req
32. Hey, why don't we toast Topanga's
first Matthews ChristmasCopy !req
33. with some of my
special eggnog?Copy !req
34. Yeah!Copy !req
35. There you are.Copy !req
36. Mmm, this is
really good.Copy !req
37. Have you guys ever
tried hot mulled cider?Copy !req
38. No. Nog. We're
an eggnog family.Copy !req
39. Wait. If this is tradition, I would
never want to interfere with tradition.Copy !req
40. It's just that, you know, my
family's always had cider.Copy !req
41. Well, we can
have both, huh?Copy !req
42. How?Copy !req
43. How could
we have both?Copy !req
44. You ever been to
the supermarket?Copy !req
45. The cider's nowhere
near the eggnog.Copy !req
46. You know why?
They hate each other.Copy !req
47. Go get Topanga
some cider.Copy !req
48. Gas money?Copy !req
49. No. Go.Copy !req
50. I'm gonna
go with him.Copy !req
51. Listen, Topanga, is there
anything else we can get for youCopy !req
52. that's gonna make your Christmas
with us more enjoyable?Copy !req
53. No, and I'm really sorry
to put you guys out.Copy !req
54. It's just that cider on Christmas is,
like, my family's one tradition.Copy !req
55. Well, that and we go to our
favorite evergreen tree farm.Copy !req
56. But everybody
has one of...Copy !req
57. What the heck
is that?Copy !req
58. As long as we're in Vermont, could
we stop and get some syrup?Copy !req
59. We'd be nuts not to.Copy !req
60. This is gonna be the
best Christmas ever.Copy !req
61. Ask her if she still wants
it on the 25th, Cor!Copy !req
62. You guys, this is my first
Christmas away from my family,Copy !req
63. and I just really
want to thank youCopy !req
64. for making me feel
like part of yours.Copy !req
65. You're welcome, honey.Copy !req
66. So what time on Christmas Eve
do you guys open your presents?Copy !req
67. We open them on
Christmas morning.Copy !req
68. Oh.
"Oh"?Copy !req
69. Oh.
Oh.Copy !req
70. Conference. Come here.
Come here.Copy !req
71. What? What?Copy !req
72. Welcome to the rest
of your life.Copy !req
73. Eric, so she opens her
presents on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
74. This isn't about the presents.
So she wanted a real tree.Copy !req
75. This isn't about the
600-mile drive to Vermont.Copy !req
76. Okay, so she makes purring
noises when we make out.Copy !req
77. But perhaps
I've said too much.Copy !req
78. Listen, what this is about is
today she takes over Christmas,Copy !req
79. tomorrow it's
the rest of your life.Copy !req
80. Goodbye, Cory Matthews. Hello,
whatever your Topanga name is.Copy !req
81. What's the big deal about
when we open presents?Copy !req
82. And my Topanga name is
Captain Take-Me-Shopping.Copy !req
83. Yeah, well, Captain, this isn't
about the presents, okay?Copy !req
84. This is about the power
struggle between men and womenCopy !req
85. since the creation of man
over 300 years ago.Copy !req
86. Wait till you guys see what I
have to put on top of that tree.Copy !req
87. I'll be right back.Copy !req
88. Okay, okay.
Okay.Copy !req
89. Hey, another conference.
Come here. Come here.Copy !req
90. What?Copy !req
91. Why are you letting
her walk all over you?Copy !req
92. She is not
walking all over me.Copy !req
93. Watch, okay?Copy !req
94. When she comes downstairs
with her little ornament,Copy !req
95. I am gonna let her know that
our cardboard noodle starCopy !req
96. is going on our tree, or I'm
not Captain Take-Me-Shopping.Copy !req
97. Hi, guys.Copy !req
98. He guessed.
It was a guess.Copy !req
99. Won't this look beautiful
on top of the tree?Copy !req
100. Topanga, I have something
to say to you.Copy !req
101. Let me guess.
You love the angel!Copy !req
102. I love the angel.Copy !req
103. I have failed.Copy !req
104. Duh! Um, hi, Topanga.Copy !req
105. About you spending Christmas
with us, the Matthews,Copy !req
106. I have a problem.Copy !req
107. Eric, if this is about the
spending limits on presents,Copy !req
108. I'm sorry.
I just saw somethingCopy !req
109. that was so Eric,
and I had to get it.Copy !req
110. I love you.
Welcome to our family.Copy !req
111. Okay, okay.Copy !req
112. Hello.Copy !req
113. Greetings of the season.
It's Christmas Carol time.Copy !req
114. I love A Christmas Carol.Copy !req
115. Yeah. Every year, Mr. Feeny
comes over and reads it to us.Copy !req
116. No one ever asks him to.
He just does.Copy !req
117. Tradition.Copy !req
118. You know what
might be fun?Copy !req
119. Tradition.Copy !req
120. What if instead of you
just reading the story,Copy !req
121. we all took parts
and acted them out?Copy !req
122. Cory, did someone
express a problemCopy !req
123. with how I read
this last year?Copy !req
124. Because if I
was a little slow,Copy !req
125. I could always
pick up the pace.Copy !req
126. Morgan would have a
blast playing Tiny Tim.Copy !req
127. I'm gonna
go tell her.Copy !req
128. But I'm Tiny Tim.Copy !req
129. And Scrooge.
And all of them.Copy !req
130. I'm sorry. She likes
things done her own way,Copy !req
131. but it's just one
time of year, you know?Copy !req
132. It's not my whole life.
It's just Christmas.Copy !req
133. And every morning when she
tells me what to wear.Copy !req
134. Nice shirt.Copy !req
135. So, Jack, how do you usually
celebrate Christmas?Copy !req
136. We usually go to Val d'Isere
and ski the French Alps.Copy !req
137. How about you?Copy !req
138. Well, those of us in the trailer
park just like to thank GodCopy !req
139. for all that we have
this time of year.Copy !req
140. We pray on the plane.Copy !req
141. Okay, two brothers, not
a whole lot in common.Copy !req
142. Nothing alike whatsoever.Copy !req
143. So how should we
celebrate Christmas?Copy !req
144. I don't think it's
important what we doCopy !req
145. as long as
we do it together.Copy !req
146. So what do we do?Copy !req
147. Hey, when I was a kid,Copy !req
148. I used to always wonder
what it'd be likeCopy !req
149. to celebrate Christmas
with my brother.Copy !req
150. Now I'm gonna
get that chance.Copy !req
151. This is gonna be the
best Christmas ever.Copy !req
152. So what do you
want to do?Copy !req
153. Cory.Copy !req
154. Cory, wake up.Copy !req
155. Topanga?Copy !req
156. I mean,Copy !req
157. Topanga, you frisky
little girl, come in.Copy !req
158. No. I'm here because
I couldn't sleep.Copy !req
159. Well, I think you need a nice
little snuggle, so come in.Copy !req
160. No, I'm not here
to "come in."Copy !req
161. Then why did you
wake me up?Copy !req
162. I was wondering
what you were doing.Copy !req
163. At 3:00 in the morning? I'm
usually sleeping and dreaming,Copy !req
164. and in my dream, I said,
"come in," and you did.Copy !req
165. Don't you ever wake up
in the middle of the night?Copy !req
166. Not once ever.Copy !req
167. Why?Copy !req
168. Well, to think
about things.Copy !req
169. What sort of things
are you thinking about?Copy !req
170. Like, I know that
Eric likes his eggnogCopy !req
171. and that your father
loves his aluminum tree,Copy !req
172. and I know that you understand
that I have my traditions, too.Copy !req
173. And you're okay
with that, aren't you?Copy !req
174. Well, yeah. I mean, we all
have our own traditions.Copy !req
175. In fact, one of my favorite
is sleeping when it's dark.Copy !req
176. 'Cause, you know, Cory,
we're not the same people,Copy !req
177. and sometimes the way
that I would do thingsCopy !req
178. is totally different than the
way that you would do things.Copy !req
179. Yeah, I know that.Copy !req
180. I knew you would.Copy !req
181. It's just good to know that
for the rest of our lives,Copy !req
182. you'll get up with me at 3:00 in
the morning to talk about things.Copy !req
183. Good night.Copy !req
184. Now I'm up.Copy !req
185. Dad, what are you doing up
in the middle of the night?Copy !req
186. I'm always up now.Copy !req
187. How come?Copy !req
188. Oh, every night I just wish that
I can make it to the morningCopy !req
189. without that
tap, tap, tap.Copy !req
190. "Alan, are you up?"Copy !req
191. "Yes, pumpkin."Copy !req
192. Then those words,Copy !req
193. "Let's talk."Copy !req
194. She talks until she falls
asleep, and then I make models.Copy !req
195. Zoom!Copy !req
196. Why are you up?Copy !req
197. Topanga. She also likes to get
up at 3:00 in the morning.Copy !req
198. You know, Dad, she's been here
for less than eight hours,Copy !req
199. and I'm just now finding out all
these new things about her.Copy !req
200. And that's bad?Copy !req
201. Yeah. I mean, I always thought
we were so much alike,Copy !req
202. and I thought that's why
we get along so well.Copy !req
203. Oh.Copy !req
204. So just when you
get to the pointCopy !req
205. where you think
that she's you,Copy !req
206. you find out
that she's her.Copy !req
207. So what do I do?Copy !req
208. I've been saving one of
these for each of my sons.Copy !req
209. Enjoy.Copy !req
210. Merry Christmas Eve
morning, sleepyhead.Copy !req
211. Morning.Copy !req
212. I made you my traditional
Christmas Eve morning breakfast.Copy !req
213. Pancakes shaped
like Christmas trees.Copy !req
214. Thank you.Copy !req
215. Oh, no. No syrup.Copy !req
216. We drove to
Vermont for it.Copy !req
217. These trees get snow.Copy !req
218. You know, I'm not
really that hungry.Copy !req
219. I think I'm gonna take the
garbage cans out front.Copy !req
220. Silly, there's no collection
on Christmas Eve day.Copy !req
221. Actually, I was gonna hang out
there till the 4th of January.Copy !req
222. Somebody got up on the
wrong side of the bed.Copy !req
223. Here, a glass of orange
juice will wake you up.Copy !req
224. Thanks.Copy !req
225. So... Ah! What?
This isn't orange juice!Copy !req
226. Well, I squeezed in
some grapefruit.Copy !req
227. But why? Orange juice on its
own is very delightful.Copy !req
228. Cory, you're
a little tense.Copy !req
229. Why don't we
go for a walk?Copy !req
230. Along the way, I'll show you the
route we'll take when we go caroling.Copy !req
231. No. Topanga,
you know I can't sing.Copy !req
232. It's Christmas.
We'll sing together.Copy !req
233. No, you're not hearing me.
I can't sing.Copy !req
234. I don't like to sing.Copy !req
235. I get embarrassed
when I sing.Copy !req
236. It's just singing.Copy !req
237. No, it's not
just singing.Copy !req
238. I like opening presents
on Christmas morning.Copy !req
239. I miss our aluminum tree.Copy !req
240. You're right, you know,
we're two different people,Copy !req
241. and we're not
gonna change that.Copy !req
242. Boy, you're with somebody for 32
years, you think you know them.Copy !req
243. You walked out on Topanga
on Christmas Eve day?Copy !req
244. Cory, go back.Copy !req
245. No. I'm not
gonna go back.Copy !req
246. You know, Jack, he doesn't
realize how lucky he isCopy !req
247. to have a girl
like Topanga.Copy !req
248. I don't really know her.Copy !req
249. You know, I was gonna give her
this ring, Shawn, you know?Copy !req
250. I was gonna
give her this ringCopy !req
251. that meant that we're gonna
be together forever.Copy !req
252. Okay? But then I started learning
all these new things about her.Copy !req
253. What kind of human being puts
grapefruit juice in orange juice?Copy !req
254. Cory, I am but
a simple idiot,Copy !req
255. but the one thing
I do knowCopy !req
256. is that you
and TopangaCopy !req
257. are just like grapefruit
juice and orange juice.Copy !req
258. Okay?Copy !req
259. You shouldn't
be together,Copy !req
260. yet somehow you are.Copy !req
261. You know, I'm sure
I'll get to know her.Copy !req
262. And if I don't, I don't. Well,
Merry Christmas, everyone.Copy !req
263. Shawn, you know, I thought Topanga
and I were exactly alike,Copy !req
264. but we're not.
We're different people.Copy !req
265. But I guess it's better
I found this out now.Copy !req
266. Cory, you want to talk
about different people?Copy !req
267. Me and Jack, don't have one
thing in common. Nothing.Copy !req
268. We're spending Christmas together
trying to find one similarity.Copy !req
269. Hey, some girl's
here to see you.Copy !req
270. Now, Cory, I know
you're upset with me.Copy !req
271. I'm sorry,
I love you,Copy !req
272. and if you never want to go caroling
with me, you don't have to.Copy !req
273. I'm sorry that my
family's traditionsCopy !req
274. are different
than your family's.Copy !req
275. I'll just be waiting
for you back at your houseCopy !req
276. whenever you
want to come home.Copy !req
277. Go after her, Cory.
It's Christmas.Copy !req
278. No, I need to think.Copy !req
279. If Topanga won't
let me fall asleepCopy !req
280. listening to Feeny
read A Christmas Carol,Copy !req
281. I'm gonna fall asleep
watching it on TV.Copy !req
282. Okay.Copy !req
283. Do whatever you want,
but I'm going ice skating.Copy !req
284. Wait a minute.
You like ice skating?Copy !req
285. I love ice skating.Copy !req
286. I love ice skating, too.Copy !req
287. You're kidding!Copy !req
288. No!Copy !req
289. Now we got something
in common, man!Copy !req
290. All right!
Yeah!Copy !req
291. Let's go ice skating.
All right.Copy !req
292. And every Christmas,
we'll go ice skating.Copy !req
293. We're starting
a tradition right here.Copy !req
294. I especially love
ice skating in France.Copy !req
295. Don't kill this.
Okay.Copy !req
296. And now we
return to Charles Dickens'Copy !req
297. immortal classic,
A Christmas Carol.Copy !req
298. Mr. Matthews,
wake up!Copy !req
299. Mr. Feeny.Copy !req
300. I am not Feeny.Copy !req
301. I am the Ghost of
Christmas Future.Copy !req
302. No. You're a doorman
at the Plaza Hotel.Copy !req
303. You were watching A Christmas
Carol and you fell asleep.Copy !req
304. Now I am here to show you
what will become of youCopy !req
305. if you stick to the
path you have chosen.Copy !req
306. I don't want to play.Copy !req
307. Well, hey, look,
there's Eric.Copy !req
308. See, everything's the same.Copy !req
309. Hey, bro.Copy !req
310. He can't hear you.
This is Christmas future.Copy !req
311. Well, look who
lost his looks.Copy !req
312. Cory, I'm home!Copy !req
313. Got your aluminum tree, your eggnog,
and I had your pants let out!Copy !req
314. Now, why would I need
my pants let out?Copy !req
315. Oh, I'm a big boy.Copy !req
316. Once you let Topanga out of your
life, you took comfort in food.Copy !req
317. Not just any food, for
some inexplicable reason,Copy !req
318. you eat only one thing.Copy !req
319. Breakfast, lunch, dinner,Copy !req
320. 3:00 in the morning.Copy !req
321. Gosh. Okay,
Mr. Feeny,Copy !req
322. I want you to show me
how horrible and miserableCopy !req
323. Topanga ended up
without me.Copy !req
324. Oh, you don't want to
see this, Mr. Matthews.Copy !req
325. It's pretty grim, huh?Copy !req
326. Show me.Copy !req
327. Topanga. She's beautiful.Copy !req
328. But she's alone,
isn't she?Copy !req
329. I guess that's
what happensCopy !req
330. when you have to have
everything your own way.Copy !req
331. Look at that. She even has
to have wood delivered.Copy !req
332. Probably no husband around
to chop it for her.Copy !req
333. Hey, wait a minute,
that's Jack.Copy !req
334. I don't really know you too well,
but thanks for marrying me.Copy !req
335. Well, obviously, it's
a loveless marriage.Copy !req
336. Those are supposed
to be my kids.Copy !req
337. All right, children, it's Christmas Eve.
Time to open presents.Copy !req
338. You see that?
Everything her own way.Copy !req
339. Look at the tree.Copy !req
340. It's aluminum.Copy !req
341. Topanga would never
have an aluminum tree.Copy !req
342. How did Jack get
her to do that?Copy !req
343. Perhaps he never ran out of
the house like a coward.Copy !req
344. Perhaps he realized that the
spirit of love brings compromise,Copy !req
345. that when two people
grow together,Copy !req
346. they start their
own traditions.Copy !req
347. You know everything,
don't you?Copy !req
348. Oh, no,
Mr. Matthews.Copy !req
349. This is your dream.
I'm merely in it.Copy !req
350. Topanga, I'm sorry, okay? We
can have Christmas your way.Copy !req
351. And the next year, maybe
we can have it my way.Copy !req
352. And the year after, we can have a
combination of both of our ways,Copy !req
353. with the emphasis
on your way.Copy !req
354. She can't hear you.Copy !req
355. Topanga,Copy !req
356. I love you.Copy !req
357. I love you, too,Copy !req
358. Jack.Copy !req
359. Come, Mr. Matthews.Copy !req
360. Time to go.Copy !req
361. I really thought Cory
would be back by now.Copy !req
362. This is all my fault.Copy !req
363. Hello.Copy !req
364. If I would have
never come here,Copy !req
365. Cory would have
never run away.Copy !req
366. I've ruined
your Christmas.Copy !req
367. I just wanted so much to
be part of your family.Copy !req
368. I never wanted
to push Cory away.Copy !req
369. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
370. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
371. Cory.Copy !req
372. It's a promise ring.Copy !req
373. It means that we're gonna
be together forever.Copy !req
374. You mean you want to
be together with meCopy !req
375. even though we're so
different from each other?Copy !req
376. Yeah.Copy !req
377. And don't get me a present
this year, because,Copy !req
378. you already did.Copy !req
379. You know, I thought I knew
everything about you,Copy !req
380. but I'm just
starting to find out.Copy !req
381. It's good
we're different.Copy !req
382. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
383. Open your present.Copy !req
384. It's a promise ring.Copy !req
385. And now for my favorite
part of the holidays.Copy !req
386. A Christmas Carol,
by Charles Dickens.Copy !req
387. "A Christmas Carol,
by Charles Dickens,"Copy !req
388. as read by George Feeny.Copy !req
389. "Marley was dead,Copy !req
390. "to begin with.Copy !req
391. "There was no doubt
whatever about that.Copy !req
392. "The registrar of his burial
was signed by the clergyman,Copy !req
393. "the clerk,
the undertaker...Copy !req
394. "And so,
as Tiny Tim observed,Copy !req
395. "God bless us,
every one."Copy !req
396. Bah, humbug!Copy !req