1. You know what I love most
about these tortilla chips?
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2. They're free.
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3. We need more chips
over here, por favor.
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4. Senorita? Los waitress.
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5. Stop calling me "waitress."
I have a name, you know.
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6. Yeah, "Ramona."
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7. Yes, it's Spanish for
Topanga. Look it up.
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8. And why are you being so rude?
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9. Listen, girls, it's your
first day of work, okay?
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10. We're just trying
to break you in
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11. by doing our little
obnoxious customer routine.
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12. Shawn? This is cubed
ice. I asked for crushed.
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13. Oh, and this is the
salsa for your chips.
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14. Thank you.
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15. So, ladies, we thought
you might want to celebrate
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16. your first day in the work field
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17. by taking us out to dinner.
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18. Well, actually, we were
thinking of going out
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19. with a bunch of
people from work.
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20. Yeah, you two should join us.
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21. Well, we'd love to.
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22. Good. We're going dancing.
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23. No! Dancing?
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24. Puh!
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25. Yeah.
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26. Puh!
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27. Shawn, we really like dancing.
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28. You should come
with us. It'll be fun.
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29. Cor, maybe I should
go dancing, you know?
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30. My relationship
with Angela is new.
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31. I don't want to disappoint her.
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32. Hey. You're a guy.
She's got to get used to it.
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33. Shawn, we are men, okay?
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34. Now if men don't want to
dance, we do not dance.
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35. Tonight we do what men do.
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36. Right! What's that?
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37. We go to the gym! We pump
some iron. And we sweat.
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38. Are there private showers?
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39. Well, there better be.
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40. So, guys? Dancing? Yes? No?
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41. No, no. You girls
go with your friends
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42. from work and do
your little dance routine.
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43. Shawn, does that
go for you, too?
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44. Are you sure I'm not
going to get hurt on this?
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45. It's the way God intended it.
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46. No, go dance. It's God's will.
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47. So, ladies.
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48. You're coming dancing tonight
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49. with myself and my
equally handsome
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50. and beautiful
friend Sergio? Yes?
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51. Yes.
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52. Boy, we pumped a
ton of iron last night.
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53. How you feeling?
Good. How about you?
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54. Good.
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55. You want to help me
take off my jacket?
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56. Yeah. Listen,
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57. what's important is we had a
good time doing our guy thing,
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58. and the girls got dancing
out of their systems.
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59. I just wonder if Nunzio
or Sergio tried anything.
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60. I don't trust anyone with that
many zippers on their pants.
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61. I'm going to ask. Never!
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62. And appear to be
jealous? You never ask.
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63. Never. Under any circumstances.
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64. Hey, guys.
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65. What happened last night?
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66. You see what I did there?
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67. Nothing happened. We danced.
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68. I am a little tired.
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69. You got a problem.
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70. Boy, that Nunzio sure
knows how to move.
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71. Oh, I got a problem, too.
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72. Sergio's no slouch on
the dance floor, either.
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73. I didn't ask.
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74. Why, Topanga, I
think they're jealous.
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75. I am not jealous, okay?
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76. Did he touch you?
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77. Sergio or Nunzio?
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78. What difference does it make?
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79. Angela, you were out with
other guys, dancing and sweating.
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80. And what is with
all those zippers?
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81. We asked you to come along.
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82. Yes, and I believe
your words were, "Puh!"
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83. Puh-ssibly.
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84. We like to dance. Our
friends from work like to dance.
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85. We did nothing wrong.
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86. What's the big deal?
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87. It's no big deal.
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88. It's no big deal at all.
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89. So, then, you guys will
come with us next time?
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90. Hey. Wouldn't miss it.
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91. We're going dancing with them?
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92. No.
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93. We're going to the gym
so we can beat the zippers
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94. off of Sergio and Nunzio.
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95. There are the girls.
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96. Okay, remember, if they ask,
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97. we are not here because we're
jealous of the gorgeous Latin men.
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98. We're here for the el
grande burrito for $2.99.
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99. Got it. Okay. Let's go.
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100. Hey! What are you
guys doing here?
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101. We're here to beat
up Sergio and Nunzio.
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102. Shawn!
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103. But we'd like to start with
two el grande burritos, please.
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104. Chicken, beef.
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105. Look, Cory, you can't do this.
This is the busiest night of the week.
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106. Angela? Sorry we
can't talk. We got tables.
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107. Of all the lame excuses,
"We've got tables."
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108. Welcome to El Coyote.
I'm the manager.
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109. Yeah, I know who you are.
We met the other night, Sergio.
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110. No, I am Nunzio.
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111. Sergio is the one with the big
muscles and the handsome smile.
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112. Where? Over there.
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113. Talking to Angela.
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114. Hey, Sergio!
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115. Hands offio.
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116. Oh, yes. You are Shawn.
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117. The one who belittles
the art of the dance.
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118. We could take you.
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119. And don't tell me. You are Cory.
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120. The luckiest man alive,
for you are dating Topanga,
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121. who is as beautiful as a flower.
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122. No, no, no, no. Not
a flower. A garden.
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123. A garden full of
beautiful flowers.
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124. Your words are beautiful.
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125. Gracias.
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126. And because you are special
to Topanga and Angela,
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127. you are special to Nunzio.
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128. I give you a special table.
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129. And please don't order off
the children's menu anymore.
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130. Hey, Topanga, what time
did you say you're getting off?
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131. Cory, I'm carrying a
sizzling plate of fajitas.
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132. Ow, ow, ow, ow!
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133. What's with her tonight?
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134. Maybe Angela knows
what's bothering her.
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135. Angela, honey?
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136. Sorry, I got a table of 12.
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137. You're not fooling anyone.
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138. All right, enough of this.
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139. - Topanga!
- What?
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140. Topanga! What?
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141. I'd like a baby
burrito, a junior taco,
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142. and your boyfriend
would also like to know
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143. what time his girlfriend's
getting home from work.
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144. I told you, I don't know.
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145. I bet Sergio and
Nunzio would know.
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146. Stop that! Look, I need to
concentrate on my work right now,
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147. and I'm having a hard time
doing that with you here.
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148. I'll call you when I have a better
idea of what time I'm through.
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149. Topanga, table
5, please. Got it.
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150. Sure, for Nunzio, she has
all the time in the world.
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151. Hey, George? Check it out.
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152. Satellite TV, 800 channels.
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153. Amy must be thrilled.
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154. So that's it? That's
our Saturday night?
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155. You installing that stupid dish?
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156. Oh, honey, look.
Just let me set it up,
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157. and the rest of the
night is yours, all right?
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158. Yeah, I believe that.
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159. Hey, Dad. I think you got
a bad satellite dish, man.
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160. I don't see anything yet.
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161. Just hold the ladder, all
right? And don't speak!
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162. Hello, Katherine.
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163. George Feeny. Good evening.
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164. Pleasant evening
for a stroll, isn't it?
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165. What are you doing
home on a Saturday night?
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166. A handsome man like yourself.
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167. Stop that.
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168. I'm about to sit in front of a
fire, enjoy a glass of sherry,
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169. and dive into a good book.
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170. Alone?
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171. Yes. Alone.
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172. Well, I was going to go
up the street to Starbucks
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173. and have a coffee, also alone.
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174. Well, I hear they make
a heck of a mocha.
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175. Good night, Katherine.
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176. Mr. Feeny?
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177. What? A hotty like Kathy
Anderson asks you out,
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178. and you just blow her off?
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179. She asked me out?
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180. She was practically
throwing herself at you.
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181. When?
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182. "I'm going to
Starbucks, also alone."
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183. I heard that. She
wanted some coffee.
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184. Yeah, with a side of you.
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185. She thinks you're cute.
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186. Wait a minute.
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187. You think she wanted a date?
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188. Ah! Now you're getting it.
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189. Why didn't I see that?
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190. Well, Mr. Feeny, I'm in college.
You're still in high school.
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191. Eric!
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192. What?
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193. Push, push, push, push!
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194. I can't.
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195. Come on, you wimp.
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196. Now push. Sergio
could. Nunzio could.
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197. Nunzio!
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198. That's one.
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199. Okay, your turn.
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200. That was a good rep.
You did not give up on it.
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201. Thank you.
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202. Cor, we trust our girls, right?
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203. Of course, we trust them.
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204. That's why I'm
going to call Topanga.
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205. She won't get mad?
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206. No, no. She'll be flattered.
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207. Women love that
kind of attention.
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208. Well, when you're done
with Topanga, put Angela on.
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209. I want to flatter her, too.
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210. Hola. This is Nunzio.
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211. Hello, Nunzio.
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212. El Coyote is now closed.
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213. If this is for reservations,
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214. please call tomorrow during
normal business hours.
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215. If you need to contact me,
Topanga, Sergio, or Angela,
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216. you can reach us at the
Boom Boom Room at 438...
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217. Thanks, guys.
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218. Cory, what are you doing here?
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219. No, here's a better question.
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220. What are you doing here?
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221. I live here.
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222. Well, if you live here, why
aren't you inside at 12:00 at night?
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223. Well, we worked late,
and a bunch of us went out.
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224. I know, Topanga, but you
were supposed to call me.
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225. I did call you. Your mom said
you were out for the evening.
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226. So, where did you go, dancing?
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227. Yes, Cory. I like it, especially
after a long night at work.
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228. Okay. It helps me unwind.
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229. Okay, so Cory's not home.
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230. You just run off with Nunzio
to the Boom Boom Room.
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231. How did you know I was
at the Boom Boom Room?
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232. I called the restaurant,
okay? It was on the machine.
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233. So you were checking up on me?
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234. No. No.
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235. I was checking on
tomorrow's special.
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236. I mean, the seafood enchilada
for $3.50? How do they do that?
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237. I mean, the
shrimp... It's so big.
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238. Cory, I don't like this
jealous side of you.
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239. Nunzio is just a friend
who likes to dance.
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240. I've asked you to take
me dancing a million times.
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241. This has nothing
to do with that.
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242. I forbid you to see him again.
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243. I'm going to bed.
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244. I forbid you to go to bed.
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245. You know, I don't get women.
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246. Why can't they be more like men?
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247. Yeah, I'll tell you one thing.
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248. There'd be a lot less
Emma Thompson movies.
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249. Hi, guys.
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250. Hey, Sonja. Hey, Cookie.
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251. Looking good. Go for the burn.
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252. Cor, let's try to
figure this thing out.
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253. The girls want to dance more
than anything in the world.
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254. And we want to make them happy.
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255. Okay, there's got to be a
simple solution to all of this.
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256. Anything? Nothing.
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257. Wait! Here it comes. Okay.
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258. The girls talk about how it's okay
to have guys who are just "friends".
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259. Well, what if we got ourselves a
couple of girls who are just "friends"?
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260. Cory, that's brilliant.
That's the simple solution.
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261. You know what, Shawn? I've
got a strange craving for Mexican.
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262. Oh, I am right with you.
You think they deliver?
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263. I told Shawn, Sergio
and I are just friends,
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264. and he practically
called me a liar.
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265. Cory did the exact
same thing to me.
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266. It's like they're
sharing a brain,
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267. and there's not enough for one.
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268. Having friends of the opposite
sex is such a simple idea.
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269. Why can't they get it?
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270. Because since the beginning
of time, men have been idiots.
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271. This will never change.
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272. But the truth is, if my
girlfriend went out dancing
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273. with somebody
who looked like me,
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274. I would be insane as well.
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275. Well, maybe we should be
a little more understanding.
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276. Yeah, we did kind of throw
Sergio and Nunzio in their faces.
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277. Ooh, that has got to hurt.
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278. Maybe we should
cut them some slack.
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279. Hold that thought.
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280. Okay, ladies, order
anything you want. Okay?
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281. When you're out with
us, calories don't count.
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282. Ooh! Chimichangas, here I come.
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283. Nunzio!
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284. Not even Nunzio
could help you now.
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285. Hi, guys. Topanga, come here.
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286. We want you to meet our friends.
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287. Okay, this is Cookie and Sonja.
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288. Sonja can bench-press
300 pounds.
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289. That's very impressive.
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290. It's nice to meet you.
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291. Thank you. Bring me a cola.
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292. You got it.
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293. Topanga, Topanga.
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294. You didn't tell us what
you think of our "friends."
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295. Good one.
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296. Well, they seem like very
nice, attractive, well-toned girls.
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297. You're jealous.
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298. You are the man.
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299. How dumb are you?
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300. Almost as dumb as Cory.
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301. I told him it would backfire.
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302. So, did Cory tell you why
exactly you were here?
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303. He said we would
have a romantic dinner,
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304. and I could maybe
get my green card.
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305. I'm pretty sure I
said greeting card.
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306. They brought you here to
make us, their girlfriends, jealous.
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307. I'll be right back
with your cola.
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308. So you're just using us?
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309. So then what happened?
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310. I just don't get Lucy, you know?
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311. I call her up, she
says she's sick in bed,
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312. and chicken soup will make
her feel better. Mmm-hmm.
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313. I said it probably would.
Then I went bowling.
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314. Now she's mad at me.
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315. Maybe she wanted you to
bring her the chicken soup.
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316. Well, why didn't
she just say so?
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317. Women, man. They speak in code.
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318. Hey, Mr. Feeny? How did
your date go with Kathy?
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319. Well, it seemed to
be going quite well.
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320. I mean, she even
invited me into her home.
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321. Ooh! Go, Feeny. Go, Feeny.
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322. She read me some of her
poetry and asked what I thought.
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323. And I told her.
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324. Well, I mean, you told
her you loved it, right?
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325. I said it was promising
for a beginner.
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326. She said she'd been
writing for 20 years.
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327. And here I am.
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328. Okay, see, that's not
what she wanted to hear.
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329. Well, then, why did she ask?
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330. He's been chicken-souped.
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331. Alan, it's me or that satellite
dish. You make the choice.
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332. Hey, guys.
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333. Angela doesn't even get me.
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334. It's like Topanga and me are
speaking different languages.
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335. Well, one thing's obvious.
It's not us, it's them.
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336. Yeah.
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337. Well, now, wait a minute. Maybe
we should all just think a second.
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338. No. Shawn and I tried
that. It doesn't work.
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339. Okay, I've been
silent long enough.
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340. Guys, I've been
working on a theory.
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341. Men are idiots.
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342. What? What?
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343. No, wait, there's more.
All right, there it is.
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344. Men are big idiots.
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345. Oh.
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346. Yeah, see that?
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347. So what do we do?
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348. You know, maybe we should
just try listening to them.
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349. I'm sorry. I don't know what I
was thinking. That's crazy talk.
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350. Maybe we should try
Cory's thinking thing again.
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351. What is the matter
tonight, Topanga?
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352. You're not enjoying Nunzio
as I am enjoying Nunzio.
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353. It's Cory.
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354. He hasn't called me in two days.
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355. You know, I don't care if
he won't dance. I miss him.
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356. He misses you,
too. Of this I am sure.
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357. I just called the apartment
again. They're not there.
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358. Of course, they're not
there. Of this I am sure.
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359. Oh, Topanga. This
is great. Thank you.
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360. Mr. Matthews is okay with this?
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361. Oh, he is so stuck in
front of that satellite TV,
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362. he doesn't even know I'm here.
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363. He knows you are
here. Of this I am sure.
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364. Katherine? What
are you doing here?
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365. I love dancing.
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366. I wish there was a way
to get your neighbor here.
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367. Come on, Topanga.
I miss Shawn, too,
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368. but let's just try to have fun.
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369. I can't have fun. I really
want to be with Cory.
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370. Why do men have
to be so stubborn?
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371. Ladies?
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372. Hello. Since the beginning
of time, men have been idiots.
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373. This will make up for it.
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374. Where did you learn to dance?
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375. "Everyone can learn to
dance. Of this I am sure."
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376. Nunzio taught you how to dance?
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377. Yeah, but he didn't
teach me how to do this.
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378. Hey, come on. Show
me that spin move.
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379. This little thing?
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380. Oh, where did you
learn to step like that?
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381. Channel 728. The Saturday
Night Fever channel.
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382. All Travolta, all the time.
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383. You know, George, I
did write another poem.
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384. Oh, I don't have to read it.
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385. It's wonderful.
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386. Check this out.
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387. You like to dance?
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388. Um, no, thanks. I'm not
really good at dancing.
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389. That was not a question.
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390. Whoa!
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391. So, have you heard of
the Lord of the Dance?
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392. It's me.
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