1. If there's one thing I've learnedCopy !req
2. from this crazy mambo called life,Copy !req
3. it's that anyone can be a birthday father,
but it takes a heart full of birthdaysCopy !req
4. to be a true Birthday Dad.Copy !req
5. There it is.Copy !req
6. - Please tell me you guys see that.Copy !req
7. Oh! Loo— looks great! Uh, love it!Copy !req
8. What's wrong with your face?Copy !req
9. I just don't buy it,
Director Flea Daniels.Copy !req
10. That just doesn't look like the honest,
trustworthy face of a Birthday Dad.Copy !req
11. What?Copy !req
12. This is clearly the face
of a guy who did something terrible,Copy !req
13. like, I don't know,
cheat on his girlfriendCopy !req
14. with his ex-wife a couple of times,Copy !req
15. and instead of confessing
to his girlfriend, asked her to marry him,Copy !req
16. so now they're engaged,
and she still has no idea.Copy !req
17. Can't you see he's racked with guilt?
It's all over his very handsome face!Copy !req
18. Did Birthday Dad cheat on his girlfriend?Copy !req
19. No, I'm just saying he looks like he did.
We have to re-edit the scene.Copy !req
20. No. You've been dragging this out
with your ridiculous tweaks and demandsCopy !req
21. for what is the stupidest premise
I've ever seen.Copy !req
22. I gotta go prep my next film,
The Diary of Anne Frankenstein.Copy !req
23. - Birthday Dad is over.
- Huh? No, I'm over!Copy !req
24. Over the moon about continuing to work
on this project!Copy !req
25. - Go home.Copy !req
26. Wha—
Hey, do you wanna keep hanging out?Copy !req
27. Let's go raid a greeting-card aisle
and come up with our next project!Copy !req
28. Detective John GetWellSoon,
Officer Mike Condolences,Copy !req
29. President Blank Inside!Copy !req
30. Uh, I should probably get home to my baby.Copy !req
31. Oh! Congrats on your new baby...Copy !req
32. is another great idea for a movie!Copy !req
33. Yeah. Sounds like fun.Copy !req
34. - Oh, Renata, I'm so sorry I'm late.Copy !req
35. Third time this week.Copy !req
36. - I quit.
- Oh! No! Renata!Copy !req
37. Who will take care of Natalie, or Needles,
or whatever her name ends up being?Copy !req
38. Would you stay if I named her Renata?Copy !req
39. I understand you are very respected
in your field, so I ask you this:Copy !req
40. would you work for a client
who has no regard for your time,Copy !req
41. your personal boundaries,
and your general well-being?Copy !req
42. Yes, that's all my clients.Copy !req
43. Well, she is your client now.Copy !req
44. Good luck.Copy !req
45. - Oh.Copy !req
46. Come on.Copy !req
47. Ooh, there ya go. There ya go.Copy !req
48. - Ooh.Copy !req
49. Mommy's coming.Copy !req
50. Okay. Nanny quits. No sweat.Copy !req
51. It just so happens it's National
Take-Your-Infant-Daughter-To-Work—Copy !req
52. While-You-Desperately-Try-
To-Hire-A-New-Nanny—Copy !req
53. And-Neither-One-Of-You-Has-Slept-
A-Wink Day!Copy !req
54. That sounds fun.
I gotta go to a bunch of meetings today.Copy !req
55. - Or as I call it, Todd-day.
- Todd-day, yes, I'm aware.Copy !req
56. - What meetings?
- After I got firedCopy !req
57. from What Time Is It Right Now,
suddenly everyone else wanted to meet me.Copy !req
58. That's marvelous!
Have fun failing upwards!Copy !req
59. I always do!Copy !req
60. Come on.Copy !req
61. - Hey, there! Shh. Here ya go.Copy !req
62. Sorry, I can tell I'm interrupting
your meeting with David O. Russell,Copy !req
63. so I'll make this quick.Copy !req
64. I'm making a list of people
I need to apologize to.Copy !req
65. - Oh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
66. And I don't wanna waste your time
with another apology.Copy !req
67. How thoughtful.Copy !req
68. But do you remember the name
of that assistant from, like, 20 years agoCopy !req
69. who I screamed at for bringing me
a room-temp Capri SunCopy !req
70. and told to quit the business?
Whatever happened to that guy?Copy !req
71. Derek? I think he quit the business.Copy !req
72. So, I gave him good advice, then?Copy !req
73. Hey, what do you think of Riley
for a girl's name?Copy !req
74. No good. I slept with a Riley once.
Didn't end well.Copy !req
75. - How about—
- Maybe you should not ask meCopy !req
76. about any women's names.Copy !req
77. - Ooh! Loud baby.
- Stuart!Copy !req
78. I need you to clear my schedule
for the day.Copy !req
79. My number one priority
is finding a new nanny.Copy !req
80. Uh-huh. Also, I was supposed to remind you
about the Manatee Fair photo shootCopy !req
81. for the "Hollywoo Women
Who Do It All" issue.Copy !req
82. Oh, yeah. When is that happening?Copy !req
83. - Right now.
- What?Copy !req
84. - I was supposed to remind you yesterday.Copy !req
85. Princess Carolyn, why am I not looking
at your pretty kitty faceCopy !req
86. at my photo shoot, so I can decide later
which parts to retouch?Copy !req
87. - I don't think I can make it, Amanda.
- Too bad. Vanessa Gekko's here.Copy !req
88. Gekko? Well, that's fine if Vanessa needs
to get the word outCopy !req
89. about her struggling business,
but I'm too busy doing it allCopy !req
90. to pose for a photo
of "Women Who Do It All."Copy !req
91. Well, sure, I know that,
and you know that, but does the industry?Copy !req
92. I've got two words for you: Karen Kitada.Copy !req
93. The creator of Med School Nights?Copy !req
94. Karen Kitada created
the number one show on network televisionCopy !req
95. and its spin-off,
Med School Nights: The Day Shift.Copy !req
96. Everyone wanted to work with her,
everyone!Copy !req
97. She had more overall deal offers
than an OshKosh B'gosh outlet.Copy !req
98. - Then a baby fell out of her!
- Well, that's—Copy !req
99. She took three weeks off.
Three weeks!Copy !req
100. And when she came back,
Tumbleweeds, Crickets...Copy !req
101. And those are just two of the projects
she wasn't offeredCopy !req
102. because the studios were dubious
about her priorities.Copy !req
103. - Do you have the right priorities?
- Of course I do!Copy !req
104. Then prove it!Copy !req
105. Leave your work and get your picture taken
for my magazine.Copy !req
106. - If not for you, do it for Karen Kitada.Copy !req
107. Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
108. - Hello?Copy !req
109. Todd, I have to go to a photo shoot.Copy !req
110. I need you to take the baby
for an hour or so.Copy !req
111. Well, you know
how much I love hanging outCopy !req
112. - with Untitled Princess Carolyn Project...Copy !req
113. Sure, I'd be happy to.Copy !req
114. Great. I'll see you at VIM in 15 minutes.Copy !req
115. Um... okay?Copy !req
116. Kitada, Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
117. How do you do it all?Copy !req
118. I just think of myself as having multiple
apps running at the same time.Copy !req
119. I have my mom app, and my career app,
and my wife app, and my yoga body app,Copy !req
120. and they're all just constantly going,
all the time.Copy !req
121. - Princess Carolyn.
- Amanda! Vanessa!Copy !req
122. You've met my oldest, Yancy Charlemagne?Copy !req
123. - 'Sup.
- Charmed.Copy !req
124. And where is your little precious ball
of wonderful?Copy !req
125. I didn't know we were supposed
to bring our kids.Copy !req
126. It's a photo shoot
for "Women Who Do It All."Copy !req
127. The kids are part of the "All,"
otherwise we'd just be "Women Who Do."Copy !req
128. - Hello?
- Todd. Change of plans.Copy !req
129. Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
130. Come on. Shh. Please, not now.Copy !req
131. - And who is this adorable pin cushion?Copy !req
132. I haven't even had a spare minute
to think of a name.Copy !req
133. It's a lot of pressure.Copy !req
134. I don't want my daughter to resent me
for the rest of her lifeCopy !req
135. because I named her
something stupid like...Copy !req
136. Light Socket.Copy !req
137. - Aw...
- Don't listen to her, Light Socket.Copy !req
138. - She's just jealous.
- Uh-oh. Sorry!Copy !req
139. And what have you been working on
that's been keeping you so busy?Copy !req
140. We just locked picture on Birthday Dad
with Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
141. That sounds awfully masculine.Copy !req
142. - Dad, mister...
- Nut?Copy !req
143. - Pean?
- Right, but I'm producing it, so...Copy !req
144. Strong independent woman. Doing it all.Copy !req
145. Oh, it sounds like you're doing-it-all
for yourself,Copy !req
146. but the new doing it all
is doing it all for other women.Copy !req
147. Oh, yeah, well, the twist
about Birthday Dad is the womenCopy !req
148. have equal screen time to the men
in the movie,Copy !req
149. and the same number of birthdays!Copy !req
150. - Very subversive.
- Less man. More Leslie Mann.Copy !req
151. Cut out what you need to.
If it makes sense, that's a bonus.Copy !req
152. Gotta go!Copy !req
153. Ladies, we have got to find time
to connect like this more often.Copy !req
154. This is so empowering.Copy !req
155. We could put together
a kind of low-key salonCopy !req
156. where women exchange ideas
and support each other.Copy !req
157. With bagels!Copy !req
158. I'd be more than happy to host,
and take care of the caterer, and emcee.Copy !req
159. You know, it all!Copy !req
160. - I'll co-host!
- In that case, why not blow it out?Copy !req
161. - Let's make it an event.
- Oh, well—Copy !req
162. Princess Carolyn, VIM has that massive
foyer that never has anyone waiting in it.Copy !req
163. - You could finally put it to use!
- We could.Copy !req
164. Move that. That's too close to the wall.Copy !req
165. And I happen to know the Fugees
have been looking for the right timeCopy !req
166. to do a reunion concert.Copy !req
167. Should I call Lauryn? Hill?
I call her Lauryn.Copy !req
168. A concert? Well, that'll take some time
to put together.Copy !req
169. Bring it on a little bit. Move it up
a quarter of an inch. Do you mind?Copy !req
170. Since it's on your turf,
I'll focus on the big-picture stuffCopy !req
171. and leave all the organization
and planning to you.Copy !req
172. - I wouldn't wanna step on your toes.
- We wouldn't want that.Copy !req
173. - Thanks for stepping up, Princess Carolyn.
- Uh-huh...Copy !req
174. Okay! Watch the birdie!
One, two, three!Copy !req
175. Kitada, Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
176. Do it for Karen Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
177. Do it for Karen Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
178. Do it for Karen Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
179. - Do it for Karen Kitada...Copy !req
180. - Ah!Copy !req
181. - Hello?Copy !req
182. Just wanted to give you
a super quick updateCopy !req
183. on all the dietary restrictions
for the Do-It-Al-Ball.Copy !req
184. It's a ball now?Copy !req
185. A ball, a gala,
whatever you wanna call it.Copy !req
186. It was just supposed to be a bagels.Copy !req
187. Bagels. Balls. Is this really the Lauryn
you want to die on?Copy !req
188. - What?
- Sorry, I meant hill. I call her Lauryn.Copy !req
189. Maybe I should call you back
when I can write this down.Copy !req
190. - I'm—
- The Fugees are in, and they love fruit,Copy !req
191. especially Fuji apples,
but they're not fans of Fiji water.Copy !req
192. Fuji for the Fugees, but no Fiji.
Got it.Copy !req
193. Marian is a vegetarian, Meagan is vegan,
and Carrie and a few other luminaries,Copy !req
194. like Gerwig and Larson, won't eat dairy.Copy !req
195. Cloister the oysters,
say ta-ta to the tartare,Copy !req
196. make sure there's no feta for Greta
or brie for Brie!Copy !req
197. Perfect. Is that a fussy baby I hear?Copy !req
198. Here's a little trick I learned.Copy !req
199. Kitada, Kitada, Kitada...Copy !req
200. Diane, hey!
Look, now isn't really the best time.Copy !req
201. I came up with a bunch more
great baby namesCopy !req
202. while I was interviewing
this boring senator.Copy !req
203. - Huh?
- Okay, but—Copy !req
204. Jacinda, like the New Zealand
prime ministerCopy !req
205. who had a baby while in office.Copy !req
206. Or what about Ravital,
which is Hebrew for an abundance of dew.Copy !req
207. Is it weird I haven't picked a name yet?Copy !req
208. Ah! Don't worry about it.Copy !req
209. My parents didn't name me until I was four
and I turned out great, right?Copy !req
210. - Right?
- Listen, I gotta go. Bye!Copy !req
211. Wait! What about Lucretia?Copy !req
212. So, you were saying your wife
went missing in this wheat field?Copy !req
213. - Oh, there she is!Copy !req
214. Move the vase over there.
Those flowers are dead.Copy !req
215. Princess Carolyn, the band changed
their mind about the apples.Copy !req
216. They'd prefer sweeter ones for this event.
But they're okay with Fiji if it's frigid.Copy !req
217. Okay, I follow so far.Copy !req
218. For this gala, Gala apples over Fuji
for the Bee Gees— I mean, Fugees.Copy !req
219. But we have to keep their Fujis frigid.Copy !req
220. - Got it.
- No, their Fijis frigid.Copy !req
221. Right. That's what I meant.Copy !req
222. Also, it turns out Marian is pescatarian,
and Meagan is no longer vegan,Copy !req
223. but she is refusing to sit
next to Chrissy Teigen.Copy !req
224. And now Carrie eats just dairy.Copy !req
225. Okay. Marian - pescatarian.
Meagan - not vegan,Copy !req
226. but does hate Teigen.Copy !req
227. - Carrie loves dairy. Got it.Copy !req
228. Gala for the gala,
but Fugees like Fiji and frigid Fuji—Copy !req
229. - Fiji! Fish!Copy !req
230. - Oh, you think that's funny?Copy !req
231. - And how's my favorite client?Copy !req
232. It's me. I stole Mr. Peanutbutter's phone.Copy !req
233. I had to— Wait. Is Mr. Peanutbutter
your favorite client?Copy !req
234. Let's circle back on that.
What's goin' on?Copy !req
235. Your "favorite client" just showed up
at my rehabCopy !req
236. - for the friends and family meeting.
- The what?Copy !req
237. Not important. But can you please
come collect your "favorite client"?Copy !req
238. - Yeah. Hang tight.Copy !req
239. - Okay.
- Thanks.Copy !req
240. Fuji koojee koojee, Greta feta, Brie brie.Copy !req
241. - Oh, hi, Brie— I-I mean, Flea.Copy !req
242. - What did you do to my film?
- We had to make some edits.Copy !req
243. You mixed all the flashbacks together
with the present-day scenes,Copy !req
244. the relationships are incomprehensible,
we don't even know how Birthday Dad dies!Copy !req
245. Audiences are sophisticated.Copy !req
246. We don't need to spell everything out
for them.Copy !req
247. It's 42 minutes long, and it ends
in the middle of a sentence!Copy !req
248. - Leaving room for a sequel!
- I ain't got time for this.Copy !req
249. I'm prepping a sensitive
coming-of-age movieCopy !req
250. about a young girl in hiding,Copy !req
251. built out of the reanimated corpses
of other young girls in hiding.Copy !req
252. In spite of everything, me still believe
people good, fire bad!Copy !req
253. Not now, Chloë Grace.Copy !req
254. So, Birthday Dad needs another pass.Copy !req
255. - You can still—
- No. Deuces. I'm outta here.Copy !req
256. As the Nazi scientists learn
in my new film that I'm just now realizingCopy !req
257. is in possibly poor taste,
there are only so many timesCopy !req
258. you can take something apart
and put it back together.Copy !req
259. Put it
back together, put it back together...Copy !req
260. Gala for the gala. Fugees...Copy !req
261. - So here I am, digging a hole—
- Fiji— Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
262. I have to pick up my Peanutbutter
at PastichesCopy !req
263. and get back to Fiji for the Bee Gees—Copy !req
264. I mean Fuji for the Mujis.Copy !req
265. Your arm looks pretty ripped up.
Is that all from needles?Copy !req
266. Yeah, my baby's needles.Copy !req
267. Uh, listen, we're about to go
have some chamomile teaCopy !req
268. and do a little guided meditation.
Why don't you join us?Copy !req
269. Well, I guess a quick break couldn't hurt.Copy !req
270. - Hey.Copy !req
271. - Hey.Copy !req
272. Hey, you okay?
You've been asleep for a really long time.Copy !req
273. Huh? What?Copy !req
274. Why am I here? Mr. Peanutbutter?Copy !req
275. - Birthday Dad is over.
- Huh? No, I'm over!Copy !req
276. Over the moon about continuing to work
on this project!Copy !req
277. Go home.Copy !req
278. And I was like,
"Ilana, you have to be my maid of honor."Copy !req
279. Um...Copy !req
280. And then my other friend Ilana was like,
"Were you talking to me?"Copy !req
281. Typical Other Ilana, always assuming
she's the Ilana I'm talking about.Copy !req
282. Okay.Copy !req
283. Hello, darling!Copy !req
284. He's home, he's home,
he's home, he's home, he's home!Copy !req
285. Say hi to the Pickle Pack, Mister!Copy !req
286. Hello, internet!Copy !req
287. Keep up the good work
with all those charming memes!Copy !req
288. I love the one where the boyfriend
is looking at the other ladyCopy !req
289. and his girlfriend turns to him
with this expression of tremendous pain.Copy !req
290. How could this man, who claims
to love her, betray her so flagrantly?Copy !req
291. That is a very sad meme.Copy !req
292. - Uh... okay. Bye, Pickle Pack!Copy !req
293. - What is going on?
- What do you mean?Copy !req
294. You've been acting different.Copy !req
295. I first noticed it the night
of the Philbert premiere,Copy !req
296. when you came home late
smelling like Diane,Copy !req
297. and then after a while,
things went back to normal.Copy !req
298. But then you got real weird again
right around that timeCopy !req
299. BoJack went to rehab.Copy !req
300. Right before you proposed that day,
you also smelled like Diane.Copy !req
301. - Oh, my God. I get what's happening.
- Pickles—Copy !req
302. - You feel guilty.
- You're right.Copy !req
303. - I feel so guilty because I chea—
- Because your good friend's in rehab.Copy !req
304. Chiefly feel guilty because
my good friend's in rehab, like you said.Copy !req
305. Why don't you go visit himCopy !req
306. if this is the thing
that's been weighing on you.Copy !req
307. It is. The one thing.Copy !req
308. - BoJack Horseman...Copy !req
309. - ... and Mr. Peanutbutter in the same room?
- Oh, God, no.Copy !req
310. - This can't be happening. Um...
- What is this?Copy !req
311. Hello! Are you here
for the friends and family meeting?Copy !req
312. - No—
- You're the first friendCopy !req
313. - that BoJack's invited.
- I don't even remember getting invited.Copy !req
314. - I did not invite—
- I'm proud of you, BoJack.Copy !req
315. - Hey, I'm Doctor Champ.
- Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
316. - Hey! Your name's Mister?Copy !req
317. - My name's Doctor!
- How about that!Copy !req
318. Wait, is Doctor Champ just your name?
Are you not a doctor?Copy !req
319. Five-minute warning everyone.
Five minutes.Copy !req
320. Come on, BoJack,
let's get some good seats!Copy !req
321. - We're sitting in a circle.Copy !req
322. They're all good seats.Copy !req
323. How can I make up for all the lies,
the stealing, the cheating?Copy !req
324. She says we can make a fresh start,
but is that even possible?Copy !req
325. - Hmm...Copy !req
326. I'm sorry, can we go back to the cheating?
Did you tell her about that?Copy !req
327. Oh, Mr. Peanutbutter, we don't interrupt
when others are sharing.Copy !req
328. Just looking for a little context.Copy !req
329. Why don't you go looking in your car?
Maybe you left it there.Copy !req
330. BoJack, don't interrupt
Mr. Peanutbutter, he's sharing.Copy !req
331. - No. But he—
- But, but, but. Butts are for cigarettes.Copy !req
332. Thank you, Doctor Champ.Copy !req
333. As I was saying, I think Doug
needs to be honest with his wifeCopy !req
334. before they can move forward.Copy !req
335. - Mmm.
- You're right. I need to tell her.Copy !req
336. But on the other hand,
maybe that's just your guilt talking.Copy !req
337. Isn't it sometimes better to let
sleeping dogs lie?Copy !req
338. I-I assume your fiancée is a dog?Copy !req
339. She's my wife, and she's human.Copy !req
340. Okay, so your fiancée.
Let's say her name is... Pickles.Copy !req
341. - Wait, uh...
- She doesn't know,Copy !req
342. and she's happy not knowing.Copy !req
343. Wouldn't telling her now
just cause additional pain?Copy !req
344. - Uh-huh.
- So, it's better not to tell her?Copy !req
345. Oh, well, that's really convenient
for you, Doug!Copy !req
346. - No, I didn't—
- Hey, everyone, look at "Doug"Copy !req
347. deciding that the best optionCopy !req
348. just happens to be the one
where he doesn't get in trouble!Copy !req
349. - Mr. Peanutbutter—
- But that's just Doug all over, isn't it?Copy !req
350. Classic, stupid, selfish,
inconsiderate Doug!Copy !req
351. Wow. Those are harsh words.Copy !req
352. But I needed to hear them. Thank you.Copy !req
353. Uh...Copy !req
354. Look, I don't know
what's going on with you,Copy !req
355. although I'm pretty sure either you
or Doug cheated on Pickles,Copy !req
356. but I understand that feeling of needing
to bottle up your guilt,Copy !req
357. not burden other people with it.Copy !req
358. - Yeah?
- You think you're protecting themCopy !req
359. from your toxicity, you convince yourself
that you're being selfless, but...Copy !req
360. it comes out in other ways
and it infects everything.Copy !req
361. I could use a drink.
Is there a bar in here?Copy !req
362. So, then I said, "No. It's rehab."
And then he left. That was two days ago.Copy !req
363. Two days ago? Oh, my God, the gala!Copy !req
364. Yeah, and you're probably worried
about your baby, too, right?Copy !req
365. Oh, my God, my baby!Copy !req
366. Come on, Todd.
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.Copy !req
367. Hey! I was wondering if I'd hear
from you Todd-day.Copy !req
368. Yes-Todd-Day, I thought,
"Maybe I'll hear from her Todd-morrow!"Copy !req
369. Is Untitled Princess Carolyn Project okay?Copy !req
370. - She sure is.
- Oh, thank God.Copy !req
371. Wait, you're talking about
Untitled Princess Carolyn Project,Copy !req
372. the baby, right?Copy !req
373. Who else would I be talking about?Copy !req
374. Well...Copy !req
375. - Mr. Knickerbocker will see you now.
- Great!Copy !req
376. Oh, hold on one second.Copy !req
377. - Hello?Copy !req
378. Todd, I have to go to a photo shoot.Copy !req
379. I need you to take the baby
for an hour or so.Copy !req
380. Well, you know how much I love hanging out
with Untitled Princess Carolyn Project,Copy !req
381. but I can't Todd-dayCopy !req
382. - because of all these meetings I have.Copy !req
383. But if my schedule weren't so busy,
I'd say...Copy !req
384. - "Sure, I'd be happy to."Copy !req
385. - Great. I'll see you at VIM in 15 minutes.Copy !req
386. - Um... okay?Copy !req
387. I'll be right back.
Sorry about that.Copy !req
388. - Hello?
- Todd, change of plans.Copy !req
389. Bring the baby over to me
at SmashFox Studios.Copy !req
390. Okay, he had to cancel another meeting
but he will see you now.Copy !req
391. - I'll be right back.Copy !req
392. I'm going to level with you, Todd.Copy !req
393. You making me wait made me angry,
and that made me respect you.Copy !req
394. Sorry, things have just been a little
hectic since I've been helping outCopy !req
395. with Untitled Princess Carolyn Project.Copy !req
396. "Untitled Princess Carolyn Project"?
I'm intrigued.Copy !req
397. - You think the project has legs?
- Yeah, she has legs.Copy !req
398. I'm thrilled to meet you.Copy !req
399. The whole town is buzzing
about "Untitled Princess Carolyn Project."Copy !req
400. Weird, but okay.Copy !req
401. We need something big.Copy !req
402. Is "Untitled Princess Carolyn Project"Copy !req
403. the kind of thing
that makes a lot of noise?Copy !req
404. She sure does!Copy !req
405. I'm in. Name your price.Copy !req
406. Um...Copy !req
407. Jonathan?Copy !req
408. We took a big swing
with Dick Wolf's Milwaukee shows.Copy !req
409. Turns out audiences are not interested
in a whole night of Milwaukee,Copy !req
410. so now we've got some slots to fill.Copy !req
411. Do you think
"Untitled Princess Carolyn Project"Copy !req
412. could live for several seasons?Copy !req
413. I don't see how those things are related,
but I certainly hope so!Copy !req
414. - Well, how can I help?
- You wanna help?Copy !req
415. Let's start with a two-season pick up.Copy !req
416. Yeah, sure, pick-up, drop-off,
whatever works best for you.Copy !req
417. - That would be great.
- Great!Copy !req
418. Well, here she is.
What time do you want me to pick her up?Copy !req
419. Wait, it's a baby?Copy !req
420. - And she has legs!Copy !req
421. I already canceled
Milwaukee Waste Management.Copy !req
422. I told the shareholders
this was gonna save the network!Copy !req
423. - We designed the poster!Copy !req
424. Todd, we need a show. We can't air a baby!Copy !req
425. So, long story short,
Pinky canceled the baby,Copy !req
426. but now we owe him a TV show.Copy !req
427. Huh?Copy !req
428. So, the show is called Birthday Dad.Copy !req
429. The pilot was directed by Flea Daniels,
and the show will be run by Karen Kitada.Copy !req
430. The creator of Med School Nights?
And Med School Nights: The New Class,Copy !req
431. Med School Nights Goes to Law School?Copy !req
432. - Uh...
- This show's about a dadCopy !req
433. who died on his birthday,Copy !req
434. and every episode,
his spirit visits a differentCopy !req
435. intersectionally representative person
on their birthdayCopy !req
436. to help them work
through their own issues.Copy !req
437. But how are all these characters related?
When does the show take place?Copy !req
438. How does Birthday Dad die?Copy !req
439. Those are mysteries we'll tease
all season!Copy !req
440. - Uh-huh.
- Birthday Dad, you'll laugh, you'll cry,Copy !req
441. - you'll Birthday Dad!
- What do you think?Copy !req
442. Yeah, like I said, we'll take anything.Copy !req
443. - Yeah?
- Hey.Copy !req
444. Um, so, I don't wanna waste any more
of your time.Copy !req
445. I just wanted to say that I know
you're really busyCopy !req
446. and I'm sorry for making your life
more difficult this week and also always.Copy !req
447. Also, I know that my apologies
are pretty much meaningless at this point,Copy !req
448. and I'm sorry for that, too.Copy !req
449. Why didn't you tell me
about the Friends and Family Meetings?Copy !req
450. I don't know. You got so much goin' on,
I didn't wanna bother you.Copy !req
451. I would have come.Copy !req
452. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
453. Did I miss it?
Is the Do-It-All-Ball all done?Copy !req
454. Yes. We did it all.
Good of you to show up, by the way.Copy !req
455. Oh, yeah? Well, it's good of you to, uh...Copy !req
456. Shut up!Copy !req
457. Are you okay?
You're not your usual medium-clever self.Copy !req
458. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
459. So, there's work, right?
I mean, work makes sense to me.Copy !req
460. And I'm good at it.Copy !req
461. I don't feel that way about my baby.Copy !req
462. I don't think
I'm feeling what I'm supposed to feel.Copy !req
463. What I thought I would feel.Copy !req
464. I mean, I love her, of course I do.Copy !req
465. Of course I love my daughter.
But...Copy !req
466. But I don't know if I love her.Copy !req
467. I know I'm a terrible person
for even thinking it,Copy !req
468. but... what if it never happens?Copy !req
469. Do you love all your clients' projects?Copy !req
470. - Of course.
- No, you don't.Copy !req
471. But you take care of them
and you keep them aliveCopy !req
472. - because that's your job, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
473. So, now you've got a new job.Copy !req
474. And it is a ruthless one,
and I mean ruthless.Copy !req
475. You don't have time to waste
second-guessing how you feel about it.Copy !req
476. You just have to do it
the best that you can,Copy !req
477. and know that that's the best you can do.Copy !req
478. You know,
we have so much in common.Copy !req
479. I don't know why we've spent
so many years hating each other.Copy !req
480. I never hated you. Did you hate me?Copy !req
481. Uh... no.Copy !req
482. Hey. Hey. Please. Listen.Copy !req
483. - Did you get the Fijis for the Fugees?Copy !req
484. Yeah. Is that silly?Copy !req
485. The Fugees were egregious
when they got interviewed by Regis.Copy !req
486. Isn't that right...Copy !req
487. - Ruthie?Copy !req