1. I'm sorry
I broke your expensive bachelor vase.Copy !req
2. Aww.Copy !req
3. That's all right. I've learned
that when you're in a loving familyCopy !req
4. there's nothing wrong
with a little horsin' around.Copy !req
5. Cut!Copy !req
6. That's the show, folks.Copy !req
7. Now, let's hear it for our amazing cast.Copy !req
8. Joelle.Copy !req
9. Bradley.Copy !req
10. Little Sarah Lynn.Copy !req
11. And our star, BoJack Horseman!Copy !req
12. Thanks for coming out.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
13. Wow!Copy !req
14. Great pilot.Copy !req
15. We got the biggest laugh I ever heard
with that "gag me with a spoon" joke.Copy !req
16. And then we topped it
with the "get a room" joke.Copy !req
17. This was so fun.Copy !req
18. Do we get to make more?Copy !req
19. I think we got a real shot.Copy !req
20. And as long as the ratings don't dip
below a dismal 15 million a night,Copy !req
21. we could be on the air for many years.Copy !req
22. - No way!
- All right!Copy !req
23. - Your Squirt, sir.
- Thank you.Copy !req
24. And if that happens,
take care of each other.Copy !req
25. No matter what,
we're going to stick together.Copy !req
26. Thank you, Tina,
for those touching grunts and growls.Copy !req
27. I'm Henry Winkler.Copy !req
28. You probably remember me
from my 2002 guest roleCopy !req
29. on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.Copy !req
30. - Whoo!
- Thank you.Copy !req
31. But perhaps the greatest role
I've ever played is friend.Copy !req
32. Herb was a dear friendCopy !req
33. and I am honored to be dedicating
this bench in his memory.Copy !req
34. In his last days, Herb's cancer
had gone into remission.Copy !req
35. He was full of hope.Copy !req
36. But on the drive home from the hospital,
his brakes gave out,Copy !req
37. he crashed into a truck full of peanuts.Copy !req
38. He survived the crash,
but he was allergic to peanuts.Copy !req
39. He died instantly.Copy !req
40. Let us now read his final tweets.Copy !req
41. "I'm gonna live forever!Copy !req
42. Hashtag 'cancer free.'Copy !req
43. Hashtag 'invincible.'Copy !req
44. Hashtag 'tweeting while driving.'Copy !req
45. Oh, no, I think I'm gonna hit that truck.Copy !req
46. Hashtag 'hopefully it isn't full
of peanuts.'Copy !req
47. Hashtag 'Oh, no. It was full of peanuts.'"Copy !req
48. I was wondering
where you wandered off to.Copy !req
49. - Oh, shit. Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
50. I'm no good with funerals.Copy !req
51. When I cry, it messes up my makeup
and then I get really bummed out.Copy !req
52. Yeah, same for me.Copy !req
53. Herb told me you came
by the house last summer.Copy !req
54. Yeah?Copy !req
55. Did he tell you anything else?Copy !req
56. No, we talked about cancer,
how hard it is living with cancer,Copy !req
57. about the L.A. Kings,
and then back to cancer.Copy !req
58. - Probably...
- Then I read that chapter in your bookCopy !req
59. about how he never forgave you
and he tried to kick you out of the houseCopy !req
60. and you ended up wrestling on the floor
over a telescope.Copy !req
61. - Oh, you did read that part?
- Yeah.Copy !req
62. I just wish
there was something I could do.Copy !req
63. Okay, I gotta go.Copy !req
64. Wait, I haven't seen you in 30 years.Copy !req
65. You wanna go grab a cup of vodka?
I... I'm sorry, the funeral.Copy !req
66. I mean, a bottle of vodka?Copy !req
67. No. You should stick around.Copy !req
68. Hey, maybe you'll find
that something you're looking for.Copy !req
69. But if you're ever in New Mexico,
drop me a line.Copy !req
70. New Mexico?Copy !req
71. I thought you lived in Maine.Copy !req
72. I always pictured you there.Copy !req
73. A little house by a lake?Copy !req
74. I was just there for, like, a month,
30 years ago.Copy !req
75. - I live outside Santa Fe now.
- Oh.Copy !req
76. - Think everyone here read my book?
- I didn't.Copy !req
77. Of course you didn't.Copy !req
78. Here's the CliffsNotes version:
Shut up, Todd!Copy !req
79. Okay, you're clearly in one of your moods.Copy !req
80. I'm gonna go play astronaut in the trunk
of your car for the next few hours.Copy !req
81. Have fun being sad.Copy !req
82. Do you know what you're supposed to do
with our date pits?Copy !req
83. Why serve dates
and not have a place to put the pits?Copy !req
84. You know,
some people just have no class.Copy !req
85. What are you doing here?
You didn't know Herb.Copy !req
86. No, but I do know a hot ticket,
and this funeral's a real whom's-whom.Copy !req
87. Henry Winkler,
Jake and Maggot Gyllenhaal,Copy !req
88. that Pakistani girl
who keeps winning Nobel Prizes.Copy !req
89. I'm gonna go rub me some elbows.Copy !req
90. There's so much to hate
about what you just said.Copy !req
91. Good news. You know when someone dies,
everyone wants to buy their shit?Copy !req
92. You're lucky you have a piece
of Horsin' Around,Copy !req
93. because this is where money
starts rolling in.Copy !req
94. I don't want that. That's blood money.Copy !req
95. Well, what do you want me to do with it?
It's coming.Copy !req
96. I don't know. Give it to some orphans.Copy !req
97. - I can't deal with this.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
98. You don't think Elton John
was raking it in when Diana died?Copy !req
99. More like "Candle in the Windfall."
Cha-ching! Hmm...Copy !req
100. You have to live with the shitty
thing you did for the rest of your life.Copy !req
101. Huh.Copy !req
102. Hello, love.Copy !req
103. Hey, Joelle,
I actually came here to be alone.Copy !req
104. I'm at my wit's end, I truly am.Copy !req
105. I just flew in across the pond
and I don't know which end is up.Copy !req
106. This might be a stupid question,
but were you always so... British?Copy !req
107. Oh, let's get some light in here,
it's so dreadfully dreary.Copy !req
108. Because I'm, like, 70 percent sure
you used to be American.Copy !req
109. That's better.Copy !req
110. Hey, this one's having a freak-out.
She needs to lie down.Copy !req
111. I'm not freaking out.Copy !req
112. I just don't understand
why that lady was being all judgy.Copy !req
113. You were touching her face
and telling her she was gonna die next.Copy !req
114. I'm eccentric. I do weird shit.Copy !req
115. How is that my problem?Copy !req
116. Hey, when was the last time
all four of us were in the same room?Copy !req
117. Probably not since the show ended.Copy !req
118. Yeah, I left California
pretty much right after.Copy !req
119. Now I got the biggest hardware store
in Seattle.Copy !req
120. That's a lie. We're actually in Olympia.Copy !req
121. And I'm on the West End
playing Juliet's... nurse.Copy !req
122. - And how are your kids?
- I don't have any kids.Copy !req
123. Oh, I just assumed
you had a bunch of kids,Copy !req
124. 'cause, you know, your body.Copy !req
125. Come on, Sarah Lynn.Copy !req
126. I assumed
you weren't still a massive cunt.Copy !req
127. - Jesus Christ, Joelle.
- That's an okay thing to say in England.Copy !req
128. Shove it up your ass
with a spoonful of sugar,Copy !req
129. you supercalifragilisticexpiali-bitch!Copy !req
130. - Guys, hey, hey, come on.
- Let go of me!Copy !req
131. - I'm gonna hulk out!
- Guys, can we just be civil for one day?Copy !req
132. - Oh, you're one to talk.
- What's that mean?Copy !req
133. Were you being civil
when you had sex with my mom?Copy !req
134. What? I never... Why would...? Wait, which
one was your mom? Blond hair? Glasses?Copy !req
135. - No.
- This sucks. You guys suck.Copy !req
136. I don't even know
why I came to this party.Copy !req
137. It's not a party, it's Herb's funeral.Copy !req
138. Herb died?Copy !req
139. You know, maybe it's for the best
we don't get together that often.Copy !req
140. We'd most likely drive each other mad.Copy !req
141. Well, no one knows how to get
under your skin like family.Copy !req
142. We're not a family, BoJack.Copy !req
143. We probably won't even see each other
again, until the next funeral.Copy !req
144. - Why are you all looking at me?
- You are the oldest.Copy !req
145. You are a severe alcoholic.Copy !req
146. I'm honestly so high right now,
I don't even know where I'm looking.Copy !req
147. Anyway, so long, thanks for the memories,Copy !req
148. and don't forget to suck a dick, dumbshi...Copy !req
149. Pardon me. Is one of you Sarah Lynn?Copy !req
150. I am. Of course. God, are you blind?Copy !req
151. Yes.Copy !req
152. Well, forgive me.Copy !req
153. I'm Herb Kazzaz's blind executor.Copy !req
154. Per the instructions of his last will
and testament, I am to give you this disk.Copy !req
155. Am I close?Copy !req
156. Just take the disk from the guy.Copy !req
157. It contains directions to Herb's gold.Copy !req
158. Herb's gold?Copy !req
159. There were no further details.Copy !req
160. He was a peculiar client.Copy !req
161. I told him, I'm not actually an attorney,Copy !req
162. I'm just a blind man.Copy !req
163. Still, Herb thought me wise
for some reason.Copy !req
164. Perhaps it is my overly formal
manner of speech.Copy !req
165. I bid you good day.Copy !req
166. Oh, pardon me. Ow!Copy !req
167. Right at shin level.Copy !req
168. What are we supposed to do
with a floppy disk?Copy !req
169. Hmm...Copy !req
170. So, what's up, kiddo?Copy !req
171. BoJack and my mom
are becoming, like, friendsCopy !req
172. and they're acting real weird.Copy !req
173. Oof! Uh...Copy !req
174. Hey, guys, guys, come on!Copy !req
175. There's somebody beneath you!Copy !req
176. Jeez, all day with the...Copy !req
177. Listen, kiddo, forget about them.Copy !req
178. You wanna check out
this cool new game I got?Copy !req
179. You have solitaire? On your computer?Copy !req
180. Yep. It only took 12 disks to install it.Copy !req
181. Wow!Copy !req
182. Herb's computer had a floppy disk drive.Copy !req
183. I bet it's still in his old office.
Unless somebody else moved in.Copy !req
184. Nobody wanted Herb's office, remember?Copy !req
185. Because it was under tap dancing star
Savion Glover's office. Let's go.Copy !req
186. - What? Right now?
- Yeah. Don't you get it?Copy !req
187. Herb's giving us a reunion special.Copy !req
188. Remember how he always wanted to do
a treasure hunt episode of Horsin' AroundCopy !req
189. but the network said it was too edgy?
This is that episode.Copy !req
190. - I just don't know.
- Yeah, I don't want to do that.Copy !req
191. Wait, so you'd rather just stay
at this funeral and be sad,Copy !req
192. instead of going on a crazy adventure
to find our dead friend's secret treasure?Copy !req
193. Do you have any idea
how insane you sound?Copy !req
194. Oh, I get it.
You just don't wanna be here.Copy !req
195. No, that's not it.Copy !req
196. Herb clearly wanted us to do this,
as a family.Copy !req
197. Who cares what he wanted?Copy !req
198. He doesn't, because he's dead.Copy !req
199. And we all know he hated your guts.Copy !req
200. Yeah. He was my best friend
and he died hating meCopy !req
201. and nothing I do is gonna change that,Copy !req
202. but Herb left you that disk
because he wanted us to find his gold.Copy !req
203. If we can honor Herb's last wish,
then that's something.Copy !req
204. I don't know what, but it's something.Copy !req
205. - Okay. For Herb.
- Fine.Copy !req
206. - Shotgun!
- Everyone knows you can't call shotgunCopy !req
207. - before you see the car!
- My turn! Get out of my way!Copy !req
208. Brad, hang on one second.Copy !req
209. Your mom wasn't redheaded twins, right?Copy !req
210. - No.
- Okay.Copy !req
211. Hi, Henry Winkler.Copy !req
212. I loved you in that one episode
of Law & Order: SVU.Copy !req
213. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
214. How would you like
to narrate a documentary for...Copy !req
215. Hey, listen, I am so flattered,Copy !req
216. but today is about Herb,
so let's respect that.Copy !req
217. Oh, God, I... I'm so sorry.Copy !req
218. I'll let you get back to your business.Copy !req
219. Hey, Winkly, such a shame, isn't it?
About our friend Herb?Copy !req
220. It really burns my brisketCopy !req
221. that some people would turn a funeral
into some kind of schmoozefest.Copy !req
222. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
223. Those other people are the worst.Copy !req
224. I bet that woman barely knew Herb.Copy !req
225. Anyway, hi, I'm Henry.Copy !req
226. I used to volunteer with Herb
at Habitat For Humanity.Copy !req
227. Or as we like to call it,
Herbitat For Henranity.Copy !req
228. We spent most of the day working
on that name,Copy !req
229. and only part of the day building,
but still, we helped some people.Copy !req
230. - How did you know Herb?
- We also volunteered at a, um...Copy !req
231. soup plantation... Kitchen! Soup kitchen!
Whichever one is the good one.Copy !req
232. What? I never knew you did that.Copy !req
233. Princess Carolyn, please elaborate.Copy !req
234. Oh, hey, Mr. Peanutbutter, why don't you
talk about how you knew Herb?Copy !req
235. Oh, I never met the guy.
I'm just here to schmooze.Copy !req
236. Tell us about your thing, though,
it sounds fascinating.Copy !req
237. Everyone, gather round and listen
to Princess Carolyn's story.Copy !req
238. Okay.Copy !req
239. Wow, Herb kept all this old stuff.Copy !req
240. He sure did.Copy !req
241. Look, one of those answering machines
with tapes.Copy !req
242. Mr. Kazzaz, this is Manny from Pep Boys.Copy !req
243. We fixed the brakes on your car,
pick it up tomorrow.Copy !req
244. Just to reiterate,
your brakes are in great shapeCopy !req
245. and shouldn't give you any more trouble.Copy !req
246. Unless, of course,
someone intentionally cut them,Copy !req
247. but why would anyone do that?
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.Copy !req
248. Probably because I'm such a big fan.Copy !req
249. Horsin' Around was a goddamn riot!Copy !req
250. I especially loved those kids.Copy !req
251. You know, wasn't so crazy
about the horse, though...Copy !req
252. Message deleted.Copy !req
253. Mm... How curious.Copy !req
254. How could you like Horsin' Around
but not the horse?Copy !req
255. That's like watching Castle
but hating castles.Copy !req
256. I mean, I've never seen it.
I assume it's about castles.Copy !req
257. Wow!Copy !req
258. Look at all these old 20th century relics.Copy !req
259. - How did you get here?
- I was in your trunk.Copy !req
260. Now I'm in outer space.Copy !req
261. Cut it out with your childish high jinks.Copy !req
262. Yeah, get out of here, dweeb.Copy !req
263. Whoa, can't I help?Copy !req
264. Here's 10 bucks. There's a Squirt machine
by the garage. Get five cans.Copy !req
265. You got it. I won't let you down.Copy !req
266. Oh, no!Copy !req
267. Your mom, was her name Karen?Copy !req
268. - Can we drop it?
- Something with a "K"?Copy !req
269. Her name is Nora. You know,
my parents got a divorce because of you.Copy !req
270. Nora? I don't know.
I banged so many chicks in the '80s.Copy !req
271. Okay, Todd, you can do this.Copy !req
272. Five Squirts.Copy !req
273. You just need to take this money
and put it in that machine.Copy !req
274. This... Wait, what?
What happened to the $10?Copy !req
275. No! Wind! Be cool!Copy !req
276. Hey! That's mine!Copy !req
277. Oh...Copy !req
278. Why does this always happen to me?Copy !req
279. Looks like Herb set up a password.Copy !req
280. Oh, this is easy. Try "BoJack."Copy !req
281. - No. Didn't work.
- "BoJack-BFF"?Copy !req
282. "BoJack-I-Forgive-You"?Copy !req
283. Well, I'm out of ideas.Copy !req
284. Hmm...Copy !req
285. I'm just, like, so mad.Copy !req
286. Well, you should be.Copy !req
287. You're on the show
that fired Herb Kazzaz.Copy !req
288. What are the writers doing to my baby?
Are they killing it?Copy !req
289. Are they putting my baby into a car,
then driving the car into a lake?Copy !req
290. Topical! I still got it!Copy !req
291. They keep giving the best story lines
to Sarah Lynn.Copy !req
292. I haven't gotten
a single very special episode.Copy !req
293. When am I gonna learn
about drunk driving?Copy !req
294. Don't worry so much.
It's my legacy they're crapping all over.Copy !req
295. You're gonna come out
smelling like a daisy.Copy !req
296. You're too good for this TV stuff, anyway.Copy !req
297. You're a real actress,
you should be doing theater.Copy !req
298. Hold on.Copy !req
299. Hey, Joelle.
Wanna go to the mall this weekend?Copy !req
300. Don't you have any friends
your own age from school?Copy !req
301. No. My mom's boyfriend home-schools me.
He's a photographer.Copy !req
302. I'm going to the Lilith Fair this weekend
to support female solidarity.Copy !req
303. - So scram!
- Oh...Copy !req
304. Hey, be nicer to Sarah Lynn, will you?
She didn't choose this life.Copy !req
305. Remember this word: family.Copy !req
306. Okay? You two are family,
whether you like it or not,Copy !req
307. and that's the most important thing.
You listening? What's the most important?Copy !req
308. Family. It's family. I get it.Copy !req
309. I've got it! The password is...Copy !req
310. "password."Copy !req
311. It worked!Copy !req
312. Good thinking, Joelle.Copy !req
313. So in that memory,
were you British or American?Copy !req
314. The disk just has just one file on it,
it's...Copy !req
315. It's the address of a storage locker
in Van Nuys.Copy !req
316. A storage locker? Ugh!Copy !req
317. This treasure hunt sucks.Copy !req
318. At long last, can you keep down the noise,
keep down the funk?Copy !req
319. If tap dancing was gonna be a cool thing,
it would have caught on by now!Copy !req
320. And when the mayor gave us the key
to the city,Copy !req
321. Herb said, "Volunteering isn't about keys.
It's about people."Copy !req
322. - How touching.
- Good story.Copy !req
323. - Who are you again?
- Wow, that was touching.Copy !req
324. A story that could never be topped.Copy !req
325. Or could it?Copy !req
326. Princess Carolyn, sing us another song
in the key of Kazzaz.Copy !req
327. You clearly knew the man so well.Copy !req
328. Please tell us another story
but with even more details.Copy !req
329. Yes. That's a great idea, Mr. Dog-Man.Copy !req
330. Tell us another story, Pink Cat Lady.Copy !req
331. Story, story!Copy !req
332. Come on, everybody.
What is this, a funeral?Copy !req
333. Story, story, story!Copy !req
334. Well, you blew it again.Copy !req
335. You really are a dweeb.Copy !req
336. Don't say that.Copy !req
337. Whoa, who are you?Copy !req
338. Some kind of magical trash troll?Copy !req
339. No. I'm a janitor.Copy !req
340. But I was clearing out some
of the old stages,Copy !req
341. and I found this transformation chamber.Copy !req
342. Looks like a bunch of old junk.Copy !req
343. Let me tell you a story.Copy !req
344. Back in the '90s, the biggest dweeb
of them all was Steve Urkel.Copy !req
345. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
346. It was so funny how he never knew
whether or not he did that.Copy !req
347. Right.
Well, nerdy Steve Urkel invented a machineCopy !req
348. that transformed him
into the debonair Stefan Urquelle.Copy !req
349. Mr. Janitor, you're standing next
to a machine right now.Copy !req
350. Yes. That's why I brought it up.Copy !req
351. Now, this is just a prop.Copy !req
352. But it represents a very powerful idea.Copy !req
353. So if I go through that magic machine,
I'll become cool and confident?Copy !req
354. No, it's a... It's a prop. I just said...Copy !req
355. - I feel different.
- Now, son...Copy !req
356. Todd? Who's Todd?Copy !req
357. My name's Toad. Toad Chavay.Copy !req
358. And I gotta get my bubble on.Copy !req
359. Machine? Squirt me. Hi-yah!Copy !req
360. That'll do, machine.Copy !req
361. Hmm...Copy !req
362. Look at all this
Horsin' Around fan correspondenceCopy !req
363. Herb received in the post. Capital!Copy !req
364. Guys.Copy !req
365. Someone already got to Herb's gold.Copy !req
366. Oh, shit.Copy !req
367. There's a bunch of fur in here.Copy !req
368. It's bear fur.Copy !req
369. I can tell. My stepdad was a bear.Copy !req
370. Herb's nurse is a bear.
You think she knew about this gold?Copy !req
371. Hey, listen to this letter.
I think it might be a clue.Copy !req
372. Ahem. "Dear Herb,
just finished reading your novel.Copy !req
373. It's phenomenal.Copy !req
374. I'm jealous. I wish I wrote it.Copy !req
375. Sincerely, Henry Winkler,Copy !req
376. the guy from that one episode
of Law & Order: SVU."Copy !req
377. Herb wrote a novel?Copy !req
378. Oh...Copy !req
379. You look thin. Did you get into CrossFit?Copy !req
380. No, Sarah Lynn, I'm dying.Copy !req
381. Whatever it is, it is super slimming.
I am for totes jel over here.Copy !req
382. It's rectal cancer.Copy !req
383. Ew! Some of us are eating.Copy !req
384. Look, the reason I called you
is because I need a favor.Copy !req
385. Want me to leak a nude pic for charity?Copy !req
386. I want you to sober up.Copy !req
387. First of all, rude. Second, gross.
And third, why?Copy !req
388. I have a very important job for you,
but if you're zonked out all the time,Copy !req
389. I'm not sure I can trust you
with the responsibility.Copy !req
390. No! I can do it! I'll get clean tomorrow.Copy !req
391. I said tomorrow, right?Copy !req
392. I've been working on this novel.
I wanna be remembered for something.Copy !req
393. All I ever did was that stupid sitcom
that got ripped away from me.Copy !req
394. But now, with this book,
I have something good.Copy !req
395. I'm telling you, this book is gold.Copy !req
396. - It's my Kazzaz-terpiece.
- Whoa.Copy !req
397. I want you to make sure
it gets published after I die.Copy !req
398. You can count on me.Copy !req
399. To life, huh? It'll kill you.Copy !req
400. Oh, my God, the gold is his manuscript.Copy !req
401. Herb made me promise
to get it published after he died.Copy !req
402. And you're just remembering this now?Copy !req
403. Yeah, I'm remembering a lot of stuff.
The ketamine's wearing off.Copy !req
404. Oh, my God, you were the other kid
on Horsin' Around.Copy !req
405. That's why you've been following us
around all day.Copy !req
406. So no one's read this book
except for Henry WinklerCopy !req
407. - and now the book is missing?
- He must have been waiting for Herb to dieCopy !req
408. so he could steal the book
and publish it himself.Copy !req
409. But then when the cancer went
into remission...Copy !req
410. Oh, my God.Copy !req
411. Guys, I don't think
that car crash was an accident.Copy !req
412. I think Herb might have been murdered!Copy !req
413. What's going on?Copy !req
414. Something about a merger?Copy !req
415. My name's Toad, baby.Copy !req
416. Yeah.Copy !req
417. Coolsville, daddy-o.Copy !req
418. Oh, lookie here.Copy !req
419. Yeah.Copy !req
420. Yo! That's my bike!Copy !req
421. Oops. Did I do that?Copy !req
422. Damn. I know I should be mad,
but that guy's just so cool.Copy !req
423. And when the river finally stopped,Copy !req
424. Herb went over
to a poor little Ottawan boyCopy !req
425. and he said, "Son, you have water now."Copy !req
426. You know, a lot of people go their
whole lives and they never give a damn.Copy !req
427. But Herb? He gave those beavers a dam.Copy !req
428. That was beautiful.Copy !req
429. You clearly had a special relationship.Copy !req
430. We were gonna sprinkle Herb
over the ocean,Copy !req
431. but his resting place should be
someplace meaningful, don't you think?Copy !req
432. Why don't you take this up to Ottawa
and spread his ashes there.Copy !req
433. And make sure you take a video,
and I'll e-mail blast it to everyone here.Copy !req
434. So we can always remember
your great friendship.Copy !req
435. Everybody, stop!Copy !req
436. Henry Winkler is a stone-cold killer!Copy !req
437. What? I'm not a killer.Copy !req
438. Unless you mean killer of gloom,
because I bring joy everywhere I go.Copy !req
439. Did you mean "killer of gloom
because I bring joy everywhere I go"?Copy !req
440. You know that's not what I meant.Copy !req
441. You murdered Herb
so you could publish his book.Copy !req
442. But we're not gonna let you
steal his legacy, Henry Winkler.Copy !req
443. I was afraid this would happen.Copy !req
444. - Oh, no, he's got a gun!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
445. What?Copy !req
446. No, I have Herb's book.Copy !req
447. I didn't kill Herb,
but I did steal his manuscript.Copy !req
448. - So that I could burn it.
- What?Copy !req
449. Because it's terrible.Copy !req
450. Well, I'll see for myself.Copy !req
451. "The air in 1830s California was fragrant
with the flowers of laughterCopy !req
452. and the smoke of adventure."Copy !req
453. - What?
- Uh.Copy !req
454. After he died, Tina and I agreed
we couldn't let the book get published.Copy !req
455. It would have turned Herb
into a laughingstock.Copy !req
456. "The carpenter's boy was a hungry boy.Copy !req
457. Hungry for crumpets.
But also hungry, dot, dot, dot, for life."Copy !req
458. He literally wrote out "dot, dot, dot."Copy !req
459. I know there's no accounting for taste,
but come on.Copy !req
460. He's right. Herb wanted a legacy,
but he already has one.Copy !req
461. People loved Horsin' Around.
This would only ruin that.Copy !req
462. I'm sorry I accused you of murder,
American TV legend Henry Winkler.Copy !req
463. No need to apologize.Copy !req
464. You ascribed a mystery to Herb's death
to give it meaning.Copy !req
465. But there is no meaning in death.Copy !req
466. That's why it's so terrifying.Copy !req
467. It was just easier to believe
that you killed him for his bookCopy !req
468. than believe that he just died
for nothing.Copy !req
469. There is no shame in dying for nothing.Copy !req
470. That's why most people die.Copy !req
471. I just wanted to fix things somehow.Copy !req
472. I'm sorry, Horse Guy, but you can't.Copy !req
473. Wow, heady stuff.Copy !req
474. But let's not get distractedCopy !req
475. from what a true friend
Princess Carolyn is.Copy !req
476. Don't forget the ashes, Princess Carolyn.Copy !req
477. Fantastic.Copy !req
478. Hey. Special delivery.Copy !req
479. Courtesy of the Toad-man.Copy !req
480. Thanks. Hey, why'd you roll up
your sleeves like that? You look weird.Copy !req
481. Oh, I...Copy !req
482. Well, you know, I was...
I was trying out a new look.Copy !req
483. It was... It was a dumb idea.Copy !req
484. Yup. Whoa! Oh, no! Ow... Ow!Copy !req
485. - Here's your Squirt, sir.
- Thank you.Copy !req
486. And if that happens, I want you
to take care of each other.Copy !req
487. No matter what,
we're going to stick together.Copy !req
488. - Congratulations!
- Hey, good job.Copy !req
489. - You've got a goddamn hit on your hands.
- Anyone got coke?Copy !req
490. ABC sent us limousines
to take us to the wrap party.Copy !req
491. I'm scared. I've never been in a limo.Copy !req
492. Don't worry. We'll take care of you.Copy !req
493. - Seriously, no one has coke?
- Let's go.Copy !req
494. You don't wanna go to the party?Copy !req
495. Nah.Copy !req
496. Hey, we never got a chance
to walk around the lot.Copy !req
497. Wanna check out that water tank
where they filmed The Love Boat?Copy !req
498. Are you kidding? I've always wanted
to get tanked in a tank.Copy !req
499. Shh.Copy !req
500. - Quiet. Be careful.
- Oh, okay, okay.Copy !req
501. You ready?Copy !req
502. - What?
- What...? The water's only two inches deep.Copy !req
503. Well, that's Hollywood for you.Copy !req
504. Hey.Copy !req
505. Are you scared at all?Copy !req
506. That if the show takes off,
everything's going to change?Copy !req
507. No, I'm not scared, BJ.
The future is bright.Copy !req
508. Just look at it.Copy !req
509. Boxer versus raptor.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.Copy !req