1. What is acting?
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2. Anyone?
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3. Anyone?
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4. Acting is about leaving everything behind,
and...
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5. And becoming something completely new.
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6. What is acting? Anyone?
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7. Acting is about
leaving everything behind, and...
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8. becoming something completely new.
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9. Becoming something completely new.
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10. Huh?
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11. Hey-o!
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12. Oh...
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13. What is acting?
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14. Anyone?
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15. Anyone?
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16. Acting is about leaving everything behind
and becoming something completely new.
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17. Nailed it.
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18. And that's a Sharpie.
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19. Good morning,
my name is Professor Horseman,
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20. which will remain
on that whiteboard forever,
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21. and this is Intermediate Scene Study.
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22. What is acting? Anyone?
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23. - Ooh!
- Oh! Okay. You.
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24. According to Stanislothski,
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25. acting is the desire
to create inside of oneself
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26. another, deeper, more interesting life
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27. than the one
that actually surrounds him...
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28. or her.
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29. - Oh, okay, yes, but also... Yes?
- Oh!
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30. Meisner would say, "Acting is behaving
truthfully under imaginary circumstances."
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31. Acting is behaving truthfully
under imaginary circumstances.
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32. Uh, okay, wow. So, that's acting.
But what is...?
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33. Guys, I'm concerned this class
is getting very theory-qua-theory...
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34. I was about to say that.
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35. when technique should be a means
toward a more engaging art.
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36. - Well, quite astute.
- Sorry, horse professor. What's acting?
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37. Um...
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38. Acting is the, um...
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39. Acting is...
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40. Uh...
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41. I don't know what acting is.
I don't know what I'm doing.
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42. I shouldn't be here.
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43. - Wow.
- Oh!
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44. No, I don't want to quit.
I'm acting! That's acting.
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45. Oh!
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46. Class dismissed.
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47. But we still have
an hour and 20 minutes left.
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48. Yes. Again, I was acting.
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49. You sounded serious.
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50. Instead of judging my acting,
how about you act and I judge you?
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51. - For real?
- Yeah. Good point.
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52. We could show you the scenes
we were working on last semester.
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53. Uh, sure.
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54. - This is from "Kablammo, Mother."
- Whenever you're ready.
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55. Mama, where's Daddy's old World War II
grenade with the pin still in it?
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56. Why would you want
an old thing like that?
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57. Tonight, I intend to explode myself.
Where are the extra towels?
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58. - Okay, okay. Stop, stop.
- What?
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59. - Does this play take place in England?
- No.
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60. So why are you talking
with an English accent?
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61. I'm acting.
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62. Just as an exercise,
maybe use your normal voice.
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63. And Tawnie, when you're telling
your mother you're gonna kill yourself,
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64. the next line is,
"Where are the extra towels," right?
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65. And the character's being very casual,
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66. so maybe she should also be casual
when she says she's gonna kill herself.
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67. Like it's a big deal,
but it's not a big deal for her.
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68. - Like that's the irony of the scene.
- Whoa! That's really smart.
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69. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
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70. Okay, let's see it again.
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71. So, darling, what fun and games
shall we play?
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72. Shall we play Scattergories?
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73. I detest Scattergories!
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74. Whatever the prompt,
you always answer in vague allusions
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75. to the baby we never had!
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76. Stop. You're both talking to the audience.
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77. I want you to talk to each other,
you're having a conversation.
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78. - Hey! Who's you?
- Who's me? Screw you is who's me!
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79. I got the leads.
The Gooba Gooberry Falls leads.
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80. Mm! Them's them good leads.
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81. - Hubba hubba, I'm horny for leads!
- Okay, here's my question for you.
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82. Does your character
know he's horny for leads,
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83. or is he discovering it?
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84. Who's next? Great. What's the scene?
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85. The scene is I'm late for my next class.
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86. We were supposed to get out
20 minutes ago.
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87. Oh, shit. Sorry. See you Wednesday.
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88. Great work today. Way to go, team.
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89. We did it. That was great, huh?
How good was I?
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90. Whitfield, we've been here six weeks.
How do you think this is going?
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91. - I think I'm crushing it.
- Wow, okay. Well, I admire the confidence.
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92. I know you're an acting major.
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93. And I guess I just... I wanted to make sure
that you're taking other classes.
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94. Like, Economics,
or maybe a plumbing course.
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95. Or rental car cashier class? I don't know.
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96. What would you want to do
if the acting thing doesn't work out?
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97. Hold up, do you think
I'm not a good actor?
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98. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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99. You said "Not a good actor."
But now that you've said it...
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100. Some would say there are no bad actors,
only bad teachers.
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101. What about Jason Segel?
He was a bad actor in Bad Teacher.
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102. I am a wonderful actor.
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103. You'll see.
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104. Okay.
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105. She knew I was drunk,
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106. but she still let me drive off
with Jonathan.
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107. Whoa, oh! I'm a drunk!
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108. Jesus, I had no idea, I...
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109. Booze has taken everything from me.
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110. - My job as an airline pilot, my wife.
- Huh? What the...?
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111. Those two things.
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112. Okay. I see what's happening.
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113. Sorry, everybody.
This is one of my acting students.
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114. - He's trying to, um...
- Who's Whitfield?
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115. - Nobody said "Whitfield."
- My name is Whip Whitaker.
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116. - Did you follow me here?
- I drank the vodka bottles on the plane.
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117. Drove the plane upside-downsy.
Yeah, I'm drunk now.
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118. - Wow.
- No, don't...
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119. We've all been there, man.
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120. He hasn't been there.
That's the plot of the movie Flight.
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121. Glug, glug, glug.
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122. - That wet the ol' whistle.
- So sorry, everyone.
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123. Now I'm completely over the 0.8 percent
blood alcohol level.
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124. - I'm in trouble. I am wasted.
- This is very disrespectful.
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125. - Hammered...
- We work hard to create a safe space here.
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126. - ... tanked, blitzed...
- So sorry about that. I recognize that.
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127. - ... Irish, canned, smashed...
- I value this room, just know that.
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128. - ... annihilated, laced, faded.
- Really sorry about all of this.
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129. - So sorry.
- In conclusion, I am a drunk.
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130. The big D.
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131. - Fine. Shut up. You're a drunk.
- Aha! Wrong, I was acting!
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132. It appears the student
has become the student-er.
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133. Wow, an actor.
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134. Uh...
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135. Foul! That fowl fouled, ref!
Where's the whistle?
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136. - Ugh!
- There are women tossing women everywhere!
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137. What is this, the Running of the Brides
at Filene's Basement?
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138. Who's with me?
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139. Okay.
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140. - Um, they're allowed to do that in rugby.
- What? Really?
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141. Also, nobody knows
what Filene's Basement is.
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142. That's a shame. You definitely paid
too much for that coat.
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143. Oh, is it over? Did we win?
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144. Hey, you're really good.
I think.
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145. Don't feel like you have to come
to these things if it's not your thing.
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146. No, I liked it. Look at us. Doing college.
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147. I'm just saying you have your things
and I have my things. It's okay.
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148. - You wanna get something to eat?
- I-I can't.
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149. When we win,
we all go to Conspiracy to celebrate.
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150. - Sounds fun. Can I join you?
- I don't think you should.
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151. It's a bar,
and there will be alcohol there.
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152. - That's okay.
- And young girls.
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153. - What's that have to do with anything?
- Nothing. Just stating a fact.
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154. - Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll see you.
- Wouldn't wanna be you!
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155. But I would. You're cool.
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156. Thank you.
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157. Hmm.
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158. Yes, good. Keep doing what they're doing.
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159. Tawnie,
you're Hollyhock's best friend...
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160. - We're actually in a fight right now.
- Again?
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161. Our fights are like Adele songs.
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162. All kind of the same one,
but with different specifics.
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163. - Well, do you understand this rugby thing?
- Uh, honestly? No.
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164. She came back from winter break
super aggro, but that's Hollyhock, right?
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165. Suddenly, she decides,
"This is what I'm all about now,
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166. and everyone else
just has to get on board."
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167. What are we supposed to do with that?
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168. - Whoa!
- I guess... get on board.
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169. Get it out, get it... Yes, nice.
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170. Nice run! Very nice!
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171. Touchdown! That's my sister!
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172. Good try!
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173. Try? She did it. She scored.
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174. It's called a try.
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175. Try to keep up.
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176. Hey! Hey!
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177. - Yeah!
- Yes, Cardinals!
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178. - All right!
- All right!
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179. The two teams applaud each other,
and then the referees.
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180. As is customary. See footnote.
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181. We know.
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182. What's up, rugger?
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183. Two tries, two conversions,
and a drop goal?
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184. Jonah Lomu over here.
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185. - Great game, Hock.
- Oh, Hock.
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186. I like it.
Can I get a nickname too, Regina?
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187. How about, "Professor Horseman,
adult faculty member"?
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188. - We have to go.
- Yeah, go.
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189. Go. See you.
See you on the scrumming pitch.
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190. W-E-S-leyan!
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191. We will rock and maul and win!
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192. Wait. Where's Hollyhock?
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193. You mean Hollyhock
Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero...
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194. Hey. What the hell? You quit rugby?
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195. God. You sound like three of my dads.
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196. - The other five were relieved.
- You were good.
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197. I need to focus on my studies.
I'm not just here to get my ya-yas out.
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198. Yeah, but rugby's our thing.
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199. Okay, then I guess we'll just...
We'll find a new thing.
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200. How about my thing is reading
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler,
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201. and your thing is being a teacher?
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202. Are you okay?
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203. I'm just busy with school stuff.
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204. You got your showcase in a couple weeks?
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205. "An Evening of Modern American Scenes"?
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206. Yeah. I'll... I'll go to that.
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207. - Great. I'll see you then.
- Yeah, see you then.
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208. Not if I see you first...!
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209. - Hello?
- Hey, listen.
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210. - It's your very good accountant, Gaz.
- Hey, Gaz.
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211. I just noticed you spent
a lot of money last year.
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212. - Did you go to rehab? Like, a lot?
- You just noticed that?
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213. I've got a ton of clients, okay?
And this was a big cocaine year for me.
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214. But we're fine. Just make another movie,
and you'll be fine.
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215. - You're working on a movie?
- No.
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216. Actually, I'm a college professor now.
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217. What, do you hate money?
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218. - Gaz...
- Ah, no, no, no, it's fine.
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219. Basically, we're fine.
As I told my wife before she left me,
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220. I'm not worried,
and you shouldn't be either.
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221. We may need to unload some assets, though.
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222. - You still own that restaurant?
- Elefante?
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223. I'd love to dump that money pit,
but what idiot would buy it?
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224. - Sold! On this arrangement.
- Of course you're sold. It was your idea.
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225. Explain it to me one more time?
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226. Okay. You'll spend a lot of time
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227. with international superstar
sex symbol, Joey Pogo,
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228. building a close emotional bond.
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229. After you've established that connection,
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230. you'll share one magical evening
of intimate sexual congress,
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231. after which, we'll finally be even.
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232. You'll marry me, and the two of you
will never see each other again.
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233. Hello? No?
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234. Really? Wow, hold on a sec.
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235. Pickles, should I buy Elefante?
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236. Ooh! Then you'd be my husband and my boss.
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237. Like Ike and Tina Turn... No.
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238. - Well, I'm sure there are good examples.
- There must be.
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239. But buying a restaurant's
a big commitment.
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240. What if I went in on it with you?
I like food.
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241. Great idea, Joey Pogo. I'm in!
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242. On you being in. On it. With me.
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243. I've got big ideas for this place.
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244. One word... lazy Susans.
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245. Hold on.
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246. Before we make any rash decisions,
should we maybe consider the long-term...
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247. Pickles, this guy on the phone
is waiting, and I don't want to be rude.
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248. Sorry. Of course.
Finish your conversation.
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249. Sold!
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250. - Now, you were saying?
- ... ramifications.
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251. Lazy Susans.
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252. Oh, Heidi,
you'll never bag a man
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253. with all your talk of feminism,
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254. and your grandfather in Switzerland,
and all your little goat friends...
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255. Stop. Terry, this character is 28.
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256. Is that what you think
a 28-year-old sounds like?
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257. I mean, yes?
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258. You do the same old-man voice
for every character.
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259. Gotta have a gimmick if I'm gonna make it
in the show business.
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260. In "the show business,"
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261. when they have old man characters,
they cast real old men.
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262. - I'll show you.
- Please don't.
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263. You'll see.
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264. We still have 20 minutes of class left.
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265. I'd driven across that bridge drunk
hundreds of times, but never on black ice.
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266. Back in my day,
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267. - we called that "the hidden slipperies."
- Oh, no.
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268. But we didn't go to meetings
and talk about our problems.
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269. - No, we made moonshine in bathtubs.
- Please leave. Now.
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270. - Who's Terry?
- Nobody said Terry.
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271. Mind if I sit a spell?
These old bones need a rest.
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272. Sure, take it easy.
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273. Everyone, this is another one
of my students.
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274. I'm very sorry, I have no idea
why they think this is gonna impress me.
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275. I just relieved myself in my adult diaper.
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276. Terry...
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277. Here I am, in the twilight of my years,
having drunk it all away.
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278. - My job as an airline pilot...
- Wow.
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279. - My son...
- You don't have a son.
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280. Not anymore I don't,
because I abandoned him.
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281. I abandoned my boy!
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282. - Papa?
- My boy!
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283. - Oh, my God.
- Papa? Is that you?
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284. I've gone blind, me has,
from working in the distillery!
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285. Oh, my sweet child!
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286. Ugh.
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287. Todd, why don't you and Ruthie
go for a stroll
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288. while I talk to these acting students?
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289. She's just a baby, and I don't want
to expose her to too much desperation.
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290. You got it, boss.
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291. Today, we have a very special guest.
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292. This is my friend, Princess Carolyn,
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293. who was nice enough to come here
to talk about the business of acting.
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294. So, please do not embarrass me.
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295. Oh, no.
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296. How many months
until people get discovered, usually?
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297. One? Two? Three?
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298. This is more of a comment than a question,
but I've seen every Robert Altman movie.
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299. What's the best diner to be discovered in
drinking a milkshake?
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300. What if I want to do nudity?
Do I still have to sign a waiver?
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301. Huh!
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302. Whoo!
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303. Hey, who's the kid
that didn't ask a question?
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304. - The brooding kid in the back.
- Oh, that's Stan.
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305. That kid's got it.
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306. The look, the sauce,
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307. the power to make me feel
like a 13-year-old girl,
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308. and to make a 13-year-old girl
feel like a woman.
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309. I wanna cast him.
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310. - You haven't even seen him act.
- Is he good?
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311. He's the best actor I got.
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312. I had my doubts
when he did the scene from Proof,
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313. but when he did the scene from Doubt,
I thought, "There's the proof."
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314. - I have to sign him.
- No.
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315. Stan needs to finish school.
He's a sophomore.
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316. Great! A legal adult but he looks young.
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317. He can play all the roles that other
young, impressionable actors can't
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318. because they keep ODing,
or going to prison, or going to rehab,
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319. or killing themselves.
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320. - No, he's not ready.
- Why don't we let Stan decide?
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321. I want to be your manager.
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322. And I can get you Brooding Birthday Boy
on "Birthday Dad" right now.
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323. Stan, LA's not going anywhere.
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324. But you need an education,
something to keep you grounded.
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325. Stan, look at me.
You have an opportunity now.
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326. What do you need, a piece of paper?
You're done with this place.
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327. Stan? Stan. Stan, Stan.
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328. One day, you're gonna look back
and realize these days on campus,
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329. they were the last days
you were truly free.
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330. You want "free"?
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331. Check out the Smirnoff Ice gifting suite
at the Emmy Awards after-party!
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332. My whole career, all I wanted
was to get to a place like this,
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333. and I didn't even know it.
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334. Out there, there's nothing to protect you.
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335. No, but there's a Patagonia jacket
that says "Birthday Dad" on it
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336. that you get from being on "Birthday Dad."
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337. We're safe here, Stan.
Please, don't make the mistake I did.
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338. Come on, you'll get your own chair
with your name on it!
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339. - Damn it.
- Oh, good boy. Yes, he's a good boy.
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340. Okay, first thing,
we're gonna get these teeth fixed.
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341. Marshmallow?
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342. Thanks!
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343. That was for the child.
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344. Oh, should've specified.
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345. If she can abstain from eating
the marshmallow for 15 minutes,
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346. she'll receive an even bigger reward.
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347. An even bigger reward than a marshmallow?
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348. Remember these times, Ruthie.
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349. Mm-hmm.
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350. - Go Todd for Maude!
- You're sitting in front of a marshmallow,
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351. and if you don't eat it,
you get a bigger reward in 15 minutes.
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352. - What do you do?
- Don't be a sucker, Todd.
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353. Eat the marshmallow.
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354. Who knows what the world's gonna be like
in 15 minutes?
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355. That's all I needed to hear.
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356. Thanks, Maude.
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357. Oh, no! What have I done?
We've got to find another marshmallow!
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358. Hey, Todd. You've got the Maude Squad.
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359. Just kidding, it's just Maude.
I don't have a squad.
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360. Maude? I didn't go to college.
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361. - Where can I get a marshmallow?
- The dining hall?
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362. Dining hall?
This is Wesleyan, not Hogwarts.
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363. What's in a marshmallow anyway?
Maybe I can make one.
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364. I think they're mostly chemicals.
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365. To the chemistry lab!
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366. You! Make me a marshmallow!
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367. I'm trying to cure brain cancer.
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368. That's not important right now!
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369. If I don't get a new marshmallow,
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370. some psychiatrist
is gonna get mad at this baby.
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371. A psychiatrist?
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372. I am so sick of the soft sciences
wagging the dog
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373. in conversations
of behavioral development.
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374. Let's teach them a lesson!
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375. - I'm sorry, but the experiment's over.
- What? Why?
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376. Because you ate the marshmallow.
Good day, sir.
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377. Doctor?
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378. You did it!
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379. Hello, my name is Willie Wesleyan,
and you've won the school, my boy!
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380. Wesleyan University is yours.
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381. What? Why?
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382. Somebody needs to keep
that stuffy old board of trustees in check
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383. once I've shed this mortal skin.
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384. - Oh...
- Sorry about that.
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385. We're doing LSD research
in the room next door.
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386. Come on, Mr. Phillips. Time to go.
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387. The frozzleberries
taste like banozzleberries!
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388. Yes, Mr. Phillips,
everything tastes like something.
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389. So this is college.
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390. - You wanted to see me?
- Amy, yeah. Um, have a seat.
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391. So we're nearing
the end of the semester here,
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392. and I'm putting together the cast sheet
for the student showcase.
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393. - Uh-huh.
- This showcase is a big deal.
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394. This might sound crazy coming from
famous television star, BoJack Horseman,
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395. but in some ways,
this showcase means even more to me
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396. than the very popular TV shows
that, again, I was the star of.
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397. - It means a lot to me, too.
- Does it?
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398. 'Cause you've been missing
a lot of classes.
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399. And forgetting your lines.
You seem tired all the time, and...
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400. I can be better. I'll prove it.
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401. Okay.
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402. As the water rose, I remember
fumbling through the glove compartment,
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403. just praying
that I could find a pin hammer
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404. so I could shatter the window.
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405. - Uh, excuse me, is this...
- No. Nope, no, no, no. Get out of here.
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406. - This has to stop.
- What?
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407. This is a place for people who are serious
about making a change,
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408. not for desperate acting students
pretending to have problems, Amy.
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409. I was just trying to get help!
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410. Oof!
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411. Oh! Oops! That was...
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412. Oops.
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413. - Hey, do you know what this show's about?
- I think it's about to start.
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414. So keep your rugby voice
on the field, okay?
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415. It turns out my hypothesis was correct.
Kids love marshmallows.
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416. You don't say.
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417. You still working on that memoir?
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418. Well, funny story about that...
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419. Oh, I love when stories start like that!
Ooh! You should put this one in your book.
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420. Where the hell is she?
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421. Horse professor, we're ready when you are.
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422. Lights.
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423. Hello.
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424. Thank you. Oh, wow, thank you.
That's very nice, thank you.
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425. Welcome to
"An Evening of Modern American Scenes."
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426. The students are very excited
to perform for you tonight.
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427. They've come such a long way
over the course of the semester.
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428. Like, a really... a really long way.
They were very bad before.
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429. But now...
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430. Well, I mean,
you'll see for yourself, uh...
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431. But, um, I'm proud of them.
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432. Anyway, first up is a scene
from Sam German-Shepherd's "Real America."
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433. You think real America's
all about cowboys?
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434. Well, I say real America's about business!
And capitalism!
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435. - Hey, it's Hollyhock.
- Ugh!
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436. - Leave a message, if you're a hundred.
- God damn it.
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437. I'm starting to think the real America
is me kicking your ass!
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438. BoJack? Oh, shit, your showcase!
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439. Tawnie's gonna be so pissed!
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440. Forget Tawnie. I'm pissed!
And it's happening right now.
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441. I'm sorry. I forgot.
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442. I know your students just have to do
a scene, but I have multiple final papers.
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443. If you're implying
acting is a bullshit major, you're right.
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444. But people came all the way
from California to see my showcase.
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445. From Chicago.
You can't even walk across campus?
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446. Okay, let me put some pants on.
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447. - You've been avoiding me all semester.
- I just have a lot going on.
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448. I go to school here.
I'm a college student.
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449. - I thought I'd see you more.
- This was mine before you got here.
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450. This was my life, my world,
and you just, like, live here now.
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451. And you could have asked me, by the way.
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452. Okay, I'm sorry.
I guess I thought my sister...
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453. No, don't say that.
Like it means something.
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454. - It does mean something.
- We don't know each other, really.
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455. - What?
- No, I'm just saying it's fine.
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456. I had a life before I met you,
and you had a life before you met me.
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457. I don't want that life.
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458. That life, that person?
That's not who I am, I...
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459. I'm sorry I came here
without asking you first.
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460. That was selfish.
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461. Okay. Thank you.
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462. If this is too weird for you,
I don't have to come back next semester.
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463. I can get a job somewhere else.
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464. Tawnie says you're a really good teacher.
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465. She did? Huh.
I thought you were in a fight.
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466. Yeah, but I still love her.
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467. Are we in a fight?
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468. Yeah, but...
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469. Yeah.
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470. I should get back to the show.
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471. If you want to come back in the fall,
that could be cool.
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472. - Yeah?
- Just...
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473. We need to take things slow, you know?
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474. Yeah. I know.
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475. Thanks.
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476. And in that moment,
I knew this was my home.
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477. And as long as I was here,
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478. I'd be safe.
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479. But then again, what do I know?
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480. I'm just a 15-year-old boy
living in Brighton Beach.
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481. Yeah!
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482. Horse professor.
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483. - Come on. Get up here.
- No, no, no.
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484. - Get up here.
- No, no, no. Come on.
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485. Thank you.
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486. Thank you so much.
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487. Uh... Hello?
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488. - You need to stop this.
- What?
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489. The reporters who keep trying
to get Penny to tell her story.
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490. What... What reporters?
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491. Whatever they're doing,
I don't want to be included, okay?
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492. I don't want my daughter to be included.
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493. Charlotte, I swear, I don't know
what you're talking about.
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494. Well, you better figure it out.
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