1.  and they even let the birthday boy
pilot the airplane! 
			  
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2.  There were no survivors. 
			  
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3.  In other news, the newly formed
Hollywoo "Guild of Assistants" 
			  
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4.  is meeting with industry
power brokers today 
			  
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5.  to negotiate terms
for a standard agreement. 
			  
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6.  I'm optimistic about the coming talks
and confident we can avoid a strike. 
			  
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7.  Our demands are reasonable, 
			  
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8.  and our services
are crucial to this industry. 
			  
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9.  All right, you little pishers, 
			  
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10.  let's wrap this up quick so you can all
go back to getting me wrong coffees. 
			  
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11.  - What do you want?
- We have one request. 
			  
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12.  To not be treated like garbage. 
			  
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13.  It appears we are at an impasse. 
			  
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14.  - Where's my dry cleaning?
- Where's my car? 
			  
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15.  I don't know any of my passwords!
What's my mother's maiden name? 
			  
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16.  I'm going into labor!
You need to call my doula! 
			  
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17.  Will somebody please make me
a reservation at Little Dom's? 
			  
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18.  Oh, no. Did I really drink last night? 
			  
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19.  Doctor Champ, I am so sorry.
I— 
			  
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20.  - Did anyone see me?
- You were in here all night. 
			  
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21.  Nobody can know about this. 
			  
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22.  There are 20 struggling addicts
in this building who are counting on me. 
			  
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23.  Of course. 
			  
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24.  I'm gonna go home, take a shower. 
			  
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25.  - This never happened.
- Agreed. 
			  
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26.  But how do I get out of here
without anyone seeing me? 
			  
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27.  - Whoa!
- Okay, okay, easy. 
			  
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28.  This requires a surprising amount
of upper-body strength. 
			  
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29.  Stop swinging. Just slide down. 
			  
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30.  Am I being inconspicuous? 
			  
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31.  Yes. Plus or minus the yelling. 
			  
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32.  - I'm just gonna let go.
- Don't— 
			  
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33.  Thank you, BoJack,
for being there to catch me. 
			  
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34.  Up! 
			  
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35.  Ew. 
			  
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36.  "I looked in that case first chance I got
and there was that note still tied there. 
			  
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37.  That line hadn't touched water
in its life." 
			  
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38.  "Doesn't mean nothin', Alma." 
			  
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39.  "Don't try and fool me no more, Ennis.
I know what it means. 
			  
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40.  Jack Twist, Jack nasty!" 
			  
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41.  The sock puppet players tribute
to Ang Lee will continue after this. 
			  
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42.  - Oh. Hello, Jorge.
- I have some news. It's about your mother. 
			  
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43.  Oh, is the news that you're marrying her, 
			  
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44.  inserting yourself into our family
and ruining my life? 
			  
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45.  Because I already heard that news
like 25 years ago, Jorge. 
			  
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46.  - I didn't come to your home to fight.
- Then joke's on you 
			  
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47.  because you didn't come to my home at all. 
			  
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48.  - I just sleep on the couch... 
			  
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49.  - ... since you and Mom gave me the boot.
- That was ten years ago. 
			  
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50.  Which, by the way,
is the only thing you ever gave me. 
			  
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51.  I gave you my name,
and you have clearly wasted it. 
			  
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52.  Do you know what the Chavez name
stands for? 
			  
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53.  Yes, Jorge. 
			  
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54.  Chavez! C for cerebral!
H for high-minded! A for analytical! 
			  
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55.  V for veracious! E for efficacious! 
			  
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56.  And Z for zealously practical. 
			  
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57.  Feels like a cheat on the Z. 
			  
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58.  Todd, your mother needs your help. 
			  
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59.  Well, then instead of sending her husband, 
			  
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60.  she should have asked me herself,
if it's so important to her. 
			  
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61.  - She's in a coma.
- A rudeness coma? 
			  
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62.  No, a regular coma. 
			  
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63.  Oh, my God! Why didn't you open with that? 
			  
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64.  Please. Your mother needs a kidney. 
			  
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65.  I put her on the donor waiting list,
but if you're a match... 
			  
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66.  Oh. I'm sorry.
Of course I would give Mom my kidney. 
			  
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67.  - Then there's no time to waste—
- "Would" give her my kidney. 
			  
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68.  "Would." You need to work
on your listening skills. 
			  
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69.  I sold my extra kidney just last week. 
			  
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70.  - Why?
- I wanted to buy these sock puppets. 
			  
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71.  You sold your kidney for...
I'm sorry I came. 
			  
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72.  If you'd like to visit your mother— 
			  
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73.  Wait. What if instead
of visiting my mother, 
			  
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74.  we got my kidney back? 
			  
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75.  Come on, Ruthie!
Field trip to the organ market! 
			  
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76.  Princess Carolyn, this is a catastrophe. 
			  
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77.  - You know it.
- This strike has shut down the whole city! 
			  
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78.  Assistants want respect? 
			  
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79.  If we respect them, how are we supposed
to work through our rage issues? 
			  
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80.  On our spouses and children?
That doesn't seem fair. 
			  
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81.  There's gotta be a better way! 
			  
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82.  Uh, maybe we could circumvent
giving the assistants what they want 
			  
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83.  by giving them what they think they want. 
			  
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84.  You know, like how we satiate TV creators 
			  
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85.  by giving them little vanity cards
at the end of episodes, 
			  
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86.  then sell the shows to streaming networks
that auto-skip the end credits 
			  
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87.  so no one even sees the vanity cards! 
			  
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88.  Yeah, yeah, that's good.
But what do assistants want? 
			  
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89.  iTunes gift cards? Amazon gift cards? 
			  
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90.  I honestly can't think of another thing
an assistant would want. 
			  
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91.  When I was an assistant, 
			  
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92.  the only thing I wanted
was not to be an assistant anymore. 
			  
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93.  Princess Carolyn, I'll say to you 
			  
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94.  what I said to David Levy
when we were developing 
			  
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95.  The Addams Family
and brainstorming ancillary characters, 
			  
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96.  like cousins and whatnot: That's Itt! 
			  
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97.  - Hey! Sad dog!
- Ha-ha! You know it! 
			  
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98.  Wow. Mr. Peanutbutter
and Joey Pogo in the same room? 
			  
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99.  What is this? Two days ago
when I almost hit you with my car? 
			  
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100.  No! That was outside! 
			  
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101.  Listen, I've been trying
to get in touch with you. 
			  
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102.  I got a call from this mental health
advocacy group. 
			  
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103.  Those guys are jizzin' their pants
over your heroic admission 
			  
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104.  of your struggle with depression, 
			  
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105.  and they wanna help you
share your story with the world. 
			  
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106.  The world, huh? 
			  
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107.  I wanted to set up a meeting,
but my assistant went on strike, 
			  
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108.  and phones, for me, are, like, what? 
			  
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109.  Even if you had your assistant,
it wouldn't do any good. 
			  
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110.  My reps' assistants
are all on strike, too. 
			  
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111.  Oh, bummer. Guess there's no way
to get in touch then. 
			  
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112.  Too bad. I'd love to get together. 
			  
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113.  Goodbye, fancy room. 
			  
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114.  Goodbye, chair. Goodbye, Stinky Susan. 
			  
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115.  Huh? 
			  
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116.  - Where to?
- Um... 
			  
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117.  Home, I— I guess. 
			  
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118.  Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey! Stop the car. Let me out here. 
			  
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119.  Wow, already stopping for a drink? 
			  
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120.  Thank you,
your commentary is very helpful. 
			  
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121.  - Five stars, though, right? 
			  
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122.  - Doctor Champ, what are you doing?
- Okay. 
			  
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123.  This mood about "never have another drop
of alcohol again?" 
			  
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124.  - Are we sure about this?
- Okay, Doctor Champ, clearly, you— 
			  
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125.  I'm sitting here, like,
whatever happened to moderation, buddy? 
			  
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126.  So, you're telling me
the guiding philosophy 
			  
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127.  of the six months of rehab
I just paid for is complete bullshit? 
			  
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128.  Hey, man, it works for you,
it works for you. 
			  
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129.  As for me? Uh, check, please! 
			  
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130.  No, that's a figure of speech.
I don't want the check. 
			  
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131.  Please replenish me with another mar-gar. 
			  
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132.  - Howdy, howdy! 
			  
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133.  Welcome to Mike and Morgan's
House of Organs! 
			  
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134.  We handle all your matters,
from keyboards to bladders. 
			  
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135.  Mike, give it a rest. 
			  
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136.  - What's with all the boxes?
- We're going out of business. 
			  
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137.  Oh, no! 
			  
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138.  I told you
we should just stick to the pianos. 
			  
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139.  You wanted to expand into body parts. 
			  
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140.  You printed the sign that said, 
			  
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141.  "For all your organ needs."
I was just trying to keep us honest. 
			  
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142.  Judging from the foolishness
of your business plan, 
			  
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143.  I assume you don't keep records, 
			  
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144.  but we're trying to track down
my son's kidney. 
			  
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145.  Oh... 
			  
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146.  Sorry, all our kidneys went to Chicago.
Jeremiah Whitewhale bought us out. 
			  
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147.  - Of Whitewhale Industries? Why?
- He's stockpiling organs 
			  
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148.  because he's a rich old guy
who wants to live forever. 
			  
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149.  Oh, no! 
			  
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150.  Well, this was a pointless excursion.
I'm heading back to the hospital. 
			  
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151.  I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful. 
			  
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152.  No. It's my fault
for expecting anything different. 
			  
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153.  Can we offer you anything on your way out? 
			  
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154.  You want a Wurlitzer or a spleen 
			  
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155.  or an industrial-sized tub
of general anesthesia? 
			  
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156.  Yeah, give me the anesthesia. 
			  
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157.  You could sneak in
during the party 
			  
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158.  as long as nobody's estranged husband
who's a cop is visiting. 
			  
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159.  Holiday party, huh? 
			  
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160.  - What? Where am I?
- You're in Chicago! 
			  
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161.  - Hi, I'm Diane. This is Guy.
- How you doin'? 
			  
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162.  Oh! Are you ready for introductions
or are you still processing 
			  
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163.  the whole being kidnapped
across state lines? 
			  
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164.  I'm sorry, what? 
			  
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165.  We're breaking
into the Whitewhale building. 
			  
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166.  - Why?
- To get back my kidney and save Mom 
			  
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167.  and prove to you
that I'm not just a wacky screw-up 
			  
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168.  who engages primarily
in goofy whimsical mess-arounds. 
			  
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169.  - How did you get me on the plane?
- We did a Weekend at Bernie's. 
			  
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170.  - As I was saying, 
			  
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171.  tonight's the Whitewhale
employee holiday party. 
			  
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172.  Security will be tight, but you can use
my employee ID to get in, 
			  
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173.  because I'm technically
still on the payroll. 
			  
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174.  Wait, you didn't quit?
We haven't worked there in months. 
			  
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175.  Nobody's noticed!
They keep sending me checks. 
			  
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176.  Cashing them is my way of very gradually
taking down the man from the inside. 
			  
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177.  Hey. C— can we sidebar for a minute?
Is this really the best use of your time? 
			  
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178.  You've been beating yourself up
about how slowly the book's going. So... 
			  
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179.  But the book is about me
and my life, so by living my life, 
			  
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180.  I am in fact working on the book. 
			  
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181.  You don't have to write this book
if you don't want to. 
			  
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182.  Of course I want to. 
			  
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183.  Okay. I'm just saying, since you started,
you've been pretty down. 
			  
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184.  - Not yourself. Diane—
- Actually, pretty down is myself. 
			  
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185.  Can we talk about this later?
We're being rude. 
			  
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186.  Why don't you offer them
one of your fancy beers? 
			  
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187.  So, all we need to do
is get into the party, 
			  
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188.  figure out where the kidneys are,
find my kidney, and sneak out, 
			  
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189.  all without drawing attention
to ourselves. 
			  
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190.  And be careful, because
if Jeremiah Whitewhale catches you, 
			  
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191.  he can legally murder you. 
			  
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192.  Now, can I get anyone an imperial stout? 
			  
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193.  The barley was from Portland, Maine,
but the brewery is in Portland, Oregon! 
			  
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194.  This plan is ludicrous. 
			  
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195.  Hey, maybe instead
of criticizing everything 
			  
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196.  like you've done my entire life,
you can get on board? 
			  
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197.  It's gonna work out. 
			  
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198.  Things don't just work out, Todd! 
			  
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199.  Of course they do!
I don't know why you're so negative! 
			  
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200.  Do you want to help Mom, 
			  
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201.  or do you wanna just go back
to the hospital and wait? 
			  
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202.  Okay. I'm in. 
			  
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203.  I don't feel comfortable negotiating
without my fellow assistants present. 
			  
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204.  Yeah. This is not about that. 
			  
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205.  Good, because our demands haven't changed. 
			  
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206.  Casey, it's been so thrilling to see you
grow into your role as strike captain. 
			  
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207.  You know, there's an opening
at my company for a development exec. 
			  
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208.  I don't suppose you'd be interested? 
			  
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209.  Oh! Uh... 
			  
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210.  I'd have to think about it.
I've never rea— 
			  
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211.  You'd get overpaid to read scripts, 
			  
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212.  company credit card,
and a parking spot in the good garage. 
			  
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213.  - Um...
- Plus, your own assistant. 
			  
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214.  - An... assistant? 
			  
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215.  - That is, of course, if the strike ends. 
			  
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216.  Well, that's a very generous offer, 
			  
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217.  but I'd have to talk it over
with my colleagues. 
			  
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218.  Why? Those are assistants. 
			  
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219.  You're not one of them anymore.
You're one of us. 
			  
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220.  It's a two-year contract. 
			  
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221.  Sign right there
and your troubles are over. 
			  
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222.  - What's so funny? 
			  
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223.  I was just remembering a funny joke,
unrelated to this. 
			  
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224.  Can you tell me what it is? 
			  
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225.  You wouldn't get it.
It's about Zsa Zsa Gabor, 
			  
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226.  and it's no longer appropriate
in today's climate. 
			  
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227.  You've made the right decision.
You're gonna love the new job. 
			  
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228.  - Welcome to the team, Stacey.
- It's Case— 
			  
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229.  Hmm... 
			  
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230.  Hey! 
			  
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231.  Sign here to run development 
			  
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232.  for Saoirse Ronan's production company,
Saoirse and Rescue. 
			  
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233.  Mm-hmm. 
			  
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234.  I can't be an assistant anymore! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
235.  Shirley MacLaine threw a cactus at my head 
			  
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236.  because I set a meeting
with the wrong Steve McQueen! 
			  
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237.  How was I supposed to know
she meant the dead one? 
			  
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238.  Shh. It's okay. Just sign here
and orchestrate your own great escape. 
			  
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239.  Ooh. 
			  
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240.  Okay, I'm going in. 
			  
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241.  Todd, promise me
you'll be perspicacious in there. 
			  
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242.  Perspicacious? 
			  
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243.  - I don't know the meaning of the word. 
			  
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244.  - You're Diane?
- Yes! 
			  
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245.  - Nguyen?
- That is correct! 
			  
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246.  I find that hard to believe. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
247.  Wow, that's racist. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
248.  People don't always
look like their last names. 
			  
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249.  For example, I'm white,
and my last name is Chavez. 
			  
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250.  I thought your last name was Nguyen. 
			  
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251.  - Oh! Uh, yeah, it is! Todd Nguyen.
- Not Diane Nguyen? 
			  
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252.  Oh, yeah! Diane Nguyen. 
			  
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253.  That's me, all right,
or my name isn't Todd Chavez. 
			  
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254.  Well, that was a bust. 
			  
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255.  Okay, this time,
you're Diane and I'll be Jorge. 
			  
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256.  Todd, get in the trash can. 
			  
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257.  I know I'm a disappointment to you,
but I do not live in a trash can, Jorge, 
			  
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258.  and I haven't for several years now! Hey! 
			  
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259.  Uh... What? Sorry, I... 
			  
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260.  Oh. No Español? 
			  
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261.  Uh... go ahead. 
			  
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262.  - Wow, that was amazing!
- No. That was logical and straightforward. 
			  
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263.  - Another club soda, please.
- Nerd! 
			  
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264.  Doctor Champ, what is your plan? 
			  
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265.  Just gotta drink enough to be steady. 
			  
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266.  Then, you take me back to Pastiches
and keep me out of trouble. 
			  
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267.  That way, you don't have to go home
and I can be a good therapy horse. 
			  
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268.  All my clients get sober, I am a winner,
put my picture on a magazine. 
			  
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269.  Look, I can't let you go back there drunk. 
			  
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270.  You don't care about me!
You're scared of this guy. 
			  
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271.  You can't help anybody else
unless you're honest with yourself. 
			  
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272.  - Know what I mean?
- No. I never know what you mean. 
			  
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273.  In fact, maybe I wouldn't be so scared 
			  
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274.  if you'd given me real therapy
over the last six months 
			  
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275.  instead of just plying me
with folksy aphorisms. 
			  
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276.  I'm not a therapist! I'm a therapy horse, 
			  
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277.  a subtle but legally
important distinction. 
			  
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278.  Besides, you wouldn't accept
real therapy from me. 
			  
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279.  Oh, and why's that? 
			  
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280.  Gee, I don't know,
maybe because I'm a horse, 
			  
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281.  so I remind you of your father, 
			  
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282.  so you simultaneously resent me
and crave my approval, 
			  
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283.  an approval which,
ironically, if granted— 
			  
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284.  Yeah, I would dismiss immediately 
			  
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285.  and then use as an excuse to resent you
even more, what's your point? 
			  
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286.  My point is, you're stunted from having
healthy relationships with horses, idiot! 
			  
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287.  Oh, really? Well, if that were true, 
			  
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288.  I would have almost
no other horses in my life. 
			  
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289.  Right, it's almost as if all your friends 
			  
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290.  and loved ones
are humans or dogs or cats— 
			  
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291.  But then how do you explain
the one horse I do care about, 
			  
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292.  my half-sister Hollyhock,
who is also a reminder of my father? 
			  
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293.  If your theory were true,
wouldn't I keep her at arms' length, 
			  
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294.  desperate for her to love me
but unwilling to be vulnerable enough 
			  
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295.  to allow her to hurt me? 
			  
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296.  You blockhead, she's not your father! 
			  
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297.  Hollyhock reminds you
of the horse you hate the most. Yourself! 
			  
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298.  Okay, you got me! 
			  
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299.  My parents gave me an internalized
self-hatred of horses. 
			  
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300.  So, my horse body is a prison
that I can never escape. 
			  
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301.  This manifests in rotten behavior 
			  
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302.  because I subconsciously believe
I deserve to be punished, 
			  
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303.  but being famous, I'm never punished,
so I act out even more. 
			  
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304.  And since this pattern
is so woven into my identity, 
			  
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305.  it is unfathomable to me that it can
ever be curbed, so instead, I drink! 
			  
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306.  Uh... Check, please! 
			  
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307.  So, the only way I can progress
is to return to my life as a sober man 
			  
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308.  and finally hold myself accountable
for my actions, past and future. 
			  
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309.  Oh, my God, is this what therapy is? 
			  
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310.  Why do you keep bringing me checks? 
			  
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311.  Uh... Doctor Champ? 
			  
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312.  Wow. 
			  
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313.  - Sorry, folks! 
			  
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314.  This floor's off-limits. 
			  
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315.  - Oh, but...
- Oh, thank God you're here! 
			  
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316.  I saw someone at the buffet
putting ketchup on a hot dog. 
			  
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317.  - What? Not in my town! 
			  
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318.  - Wow, you are really good at this.
- Let's go. 
			  
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319.  Ooh, wow. Hmm. 
			  
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320.  Oh, look. People who selected kidneys
might also enjoy small intestines. 
			  
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321.  Just the kidney. We don't need
to be up-sold on other innards. 
			  
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322.  Yes, sir. 
			  
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323.  Thank you for... this. 
			  
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324.  Uh. Once your mother is okay,
we will never bother you again. 
			  
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325.  - I know that's what you want.
- Why would I want that? 
			  
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326.  - You never understood me.
- I raised you as my own flesh. 
			  
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327.  I was tough on you
because I expected big things from you. 
			  
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328.  You weren't tough. You were mean. 
			  
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329.  - Because the world is mean!
- Not my world! 
			  
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330.  I wanted so much for you, Todd. 
			  
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331.  I wanted to push you to be your best self.
I see now that I failed you. 
			  
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332.  But you didn't fail me
because I am not a failure. 
			  
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333.  Look... Okay, Todd. 
			  
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334.  Why do you need to be proud of me
on your terms? 
			  
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335.  Why can't you see I'm living a good life?
I have friends. I have a job— 
			  
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336.  You sleep on the couch
and you play with puppets all day. 
			  
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337.  I'm happy, Jorge.
What more do you want from me? 
			  
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338.  I want to know that you're okay! 
			  
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339.  Then why haven't you called in ten years? 
			  
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340.  You don't think I wanted to?
I'm not the one who... 
			  
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341.  - What? 
			  
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342.  She loves you, your mother. 
			  
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343.  But she's very proud.
If you called her, she would talk to you. 
			  
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344.  Well, she can't talk now
because she's in a coma, right? 
			  
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345.  Yeah. 
			  
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346.  What are they talking about? 
			  
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347.  - Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. 
			  
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348.  Chavezes! You got company! 
			  
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349.  Get out of there now! Do you read me? 
			  
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350.  Hello? Hello? 
			  
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351.  Diane? Why is there a walkie-talkie
in our kitchen? 
			  
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352.  - God damn it!
- Uh... 
			  
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353.  Excuse me? This garage
is for shopping center customers only. 
			  
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354.  Okay, fine, I'll buy a pretzel. 
			  
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355.  - Or you could just leave.
- No, now I want the pretzel. 
			  
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356.  Hey, Diane, get me a pretzel,
too, please. Love you, okay? 
			  
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357.  Someone's coming.
We have to go. 
			  
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358.  I'm not going until I get my kidney. 
			  
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359.  - Todd, this is serious.
- Yes, I understand. 
			  
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360.  You are very serious. 
			  
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361.  You read serious books
and listen to Sirius XM. 
			  
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362.  We have to go right now. 
			  
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363.  - Hey!
- Why do you always fight me? 
			  
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364.  Why do you always try
to make me leave places? 
			  
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365.  - Hey! 
			  
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366.  Stay right where you are! 
			  
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367.  - Whoa! 
			  
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368.  Um... 
			  
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369.  Uh, I'm sure the other assistants
will be here any minute. 
			  
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370.  Traffic's real bad because of the rain. 
			  
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371.  No one else is coming, Stuart. 
			  
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372.  - Uh... because of the rain?
- They got promoted. 
			  
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373.  Your ranks are divided. 
			  
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374.  Your leadership has abandoned you.
Face it, the strike is over. 
			  
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375.  Whoa. Okay. 
			  
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376.  We've drawn up a new collective agreement. 
			  
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377.  You get none of the things you asked for
and you start work again Monday. 
			  
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378.  Sounds fair. 
			  
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379.  If I sign this, does that mean
I get a promotion, too? 
			  
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380.  - Sure, Stuart. Someday. 
			  
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381.  Princess Carolyn,
I'd love to give you a raise, 
			  
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382.  but you're thinking like an assistant. 
			  
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383.  Any day now, you're gonna get promoted
to agent and sign a brand-new contract, 
			  
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384.  so why are you concerning yourself
with these assistantly trifles? 
			  
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385.  You really think I have
what it takes to be an agent? 
			  
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386.  Someday, sure!
But for now, you're my assistant, 
			  
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387.  and since you've got a similar build 
			  
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388.  to the angry lady
I fell on at the post office, 
			  
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389.  I need you to try on these apology bikinis
and report back where they pinch. 
			  
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390.  - You got it, boss. 
			  
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391.  Oh. 
			  
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392.  - Um...
- Stuart, don't sign that! 
			  
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393.  I just remembered
there's a typo on page 12! 
			  
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394.  Instead of "billable hours,"
I wrote, "Billy Bob showers!" 
			  
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395.  Ooh, that's not gonna fly, P.C. 
			  
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396.  That guy hasn't showered since Bad Santa. 
			  
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397.  Man Who Wasn't There?
More like "Man Who Doesn't Wash There." 
			  
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398.  Sling Blade? More like "Please Bathe!" 
			  
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399.  Monster's Ball? More like "Monster Balls."
Great actor, though. 
			  
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400.  Let me fix up a new version 
			  
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401.  and you can come back
and sign it tomorrow. 
			  
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402.  I'll walk you to your car. 
			  
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403.  Well, this is my car. 
			  
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404.  - Really?
- No. I don't own a car. 
			  
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405.  So why did we walk
three blocks in the rain? 
			  
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406.  I panicked! I've never been in charge
of where to go before! 
			  
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407.  You're clearly out of your depth
in these negotiations. 
			  
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408.  Take this number. 
			  
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409.  Wow. This a lot of money,
Princess Carolyn. 
			  
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410.  That's not an offer, it's a phone number! 
			  
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411.  Oh... 
			  
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412.  - Can you drive me home? 
			  
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413.  - Officer, I...
- Sir, did this man attack you? 
			  
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414.  - What? No.
- You can tell me if he attacked you. 
			  
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415.  - Hey! Keep your hands where I can see 'em.
- Look, this is all a misunderstanding. 
			  
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416.  I'm just trying to take
this kidney back to my mom. 
			  
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417.  Whitewhale's got like a hundred of these.
He won't even miss this one. 
			  
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418.  Well, aren't you a little scamp. 
			  
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419.  - Oh, stop! 
			  
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420.  What? 
			  
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421.  Armageddon? More like "Arma-gettin'
Away From This Stinky Guy!" 
			  
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422.  What the...? Hey, who's in my chair? 
			  
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423.  Mr. Turteltaub,
I thought our meeting was at 9 a.m. 
			  
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424.  - It appears to be 9:03.
- Hello. 
			  
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425.  If you're serious about negotiating, 
			  
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426.  it's imprudent to send the message
you don't respect our time. 
			  
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427.  To start these negotiations
on the right foot, 
			  
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428.  I suggest we adjourn for the day
and start in earnest tomorrow. 
			  
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429.  - On schedule?
- Um... 
			  
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430.  - Okay?
- Fabulous. Princess Carolyn. 
			  
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431.  Judah. 
			  
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432.  - What the shell was that?
- Let the negotiations begin. 
			  
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433.  Todd, I, uh... owe you an apology. 
			  
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434.  - Oh? 
			  
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435.  I know I was hard on you
when you were growing up, 
			  
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436.  but I was trying to protect you. 
			  
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437.  Nothing came easy for me. 
			  
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438.  It took hard work, focus, discipline
to get me where I am today. 
			  
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439.  Things didn't just work out. 
			  
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440.  But I should have realized: you're white. 
			  
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441.  I forgive you. 
			  
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442.  She's awake. 
			  
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443.  Do you wanna come say hello?
I'm sure she would love to see you. 
			  
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444.  Well, she has my number. 
			  
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445.  - That's cold, Todd.
- What do you expect? 
			  
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446.  I'm a Chavez, right? 
			  
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447.  Hmm... 
			  
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448.  - Huh? Where am I?
- You're at Partridges, 
			  
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449.  the rehab clinic
founded by Danny Bonaduce. 
			  
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450.  - What about Pastiches?
- I told them I was checking you in here. 
			  
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451.  Why would you do that? 
			  
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452.  Those people need me
to be an example of success. 
			  
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453.  You can't help anybody else
unless you're honest with yourself. 
			  
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454.  - A wise man told me that.
- Who? What wise man? 
			  
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455.  You did.
I was being poetic and you ruined it. 
			  
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456.  Well, don't listen to me. I'm a drunk! 
			  
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457.  Yeah. But the first step is admitting it. 
			  
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458.  You've destroyed me.
I can never go back to Pastiches now. 
			  
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459.  My husband will leave me. 
			  
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460.  I promised him I would never drink again
after what happened to our daughter. 
			  
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461.  Uh... What happened to your daughter? 
			  
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462.  You know nothing of my life
and you think you know what's best for me? 
			  
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463.  The only reason I got drunk
in the first place 
			  
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464.  is because of your contraband vodka! 
			  
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465.  - Well, yes, technically, that's true.
- Of course you did this to me. 
			  
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466.  Because I cared about you. 
			  
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467.  And you ruin people who care about you. 
			  
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468.  Well, best of luck. 
			  
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469.  I want you to remember this, BoJack.
I want you to remember what you did to me. 
			  
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470.  I remember everything. I'm sober now. 
			  
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