1. I don't know what's real anymore.Copy !req
2. - And I don't know if I care.Copy !req
3. - Talk to me, Philbert.
- Don't tell her a thing.Copy !req
4. What did you do to your wife?Copy !req
5. - She was gonna get us all killed.
- So you took care of it, huh?Copy !req
6. I tried to stop him!Copy !req
7. - Who?
- Fritz! He was hopped up on goof-berries.Copy !req
8. - Agh!Copy !req
9. - I think I shot him.
Agh!Copy !req
10. What are you doing, Philbert? Oh-hh!Copy !req
11. You shot your partner?Copy !req
12. Ugh!Copy !req
13. - Cut! We're turning around for BoJack.Copy !req
14. All right! That was acting.Copy !req
15. Hey, so, this has been real,
but since it's our last day,Copy !req
16. it feels like maybe we should call it
on the whole us sleeping together thing.Copy !req
17. I don't usually keep dating co-stars
once we've wrapped.Copy !req
18. Would you say we're co-stars?Copy !req
19. I mean, I'm Philbert.
I'd say we're more like both in the cast?Copy !req
20. Yeah, let's definitely
pump the brakes on this.Copy !req
21. And we're set. Action!Copy !req
22. I had no choice.
He was strangling my wife!Copy !req
23. What did you do with the bodies?Copy !req
24. I— It's all a blur.
It feels like a dream.Copy !req
25. - Where are the bodies, Philbert?
- I buried them.Copy !req
26. - In the same place I'm gonna bury you.Copy !req
27. - Right here.
- Oh!Copy !req
28. Kiss me, you smart, handsome renegade.Copy !req
29. There's no time for that now.
The nuclear missiles are coming.Copy !req
30. Cut! That's a wrap
on Philbert Season One!Copy !req
31. Great work, everyone!Copy !req
32. I want you all to know
I'm proud of what I've done here.Copy !req
33. - See ya at the Peabody Awards!
- Great working with you. Thank you.Copy !req
34. Terrific job. Seriously...Copy !req
35. What the hell are goof-berries?Copy !req
36. Oh!Copy !req
37. I love the sign.
- You better.Copy !req
38. I basically had to go
through a whole pen on that thing.Copy !req
39. - Uh...
- Hey, I'd help you with your bag,Copy !req
40. - but you know, my back.
- Yeah.Copy !req
41. It's cool that you came
through Los Angeles on your way home.Copy !req
42. Yeah, I guess we got lucky.Copy !req
43. The only flight from Connecticut to Kansas
had a one-night layover in California.Copy !req
44. - Really?
- No, dummy. I wanted to see you.Copy !req
45. Emily is here to see you.Copy !req
46. - Blunt?
- Well, she is a little curt.Copy !req
47. That's my Emily! Send her in!Copy !req
48. - Hey, Todd.
- You okay?Copy !req
49. - I broke up with my fireman.
- Not Steve!Copy !req
50. No, no, no, not Steve. It was Doug.Copy !req
51. Not Doug! Forgot there was a new one!Copy !req
52. I am so done
with these sexy noble hero hunks.Copy !req
53. The sex is great,Copy !req
54. but the emotional connection
just is not there.Copy !req
55. It was the same with me and Yolanda.Copy !req
56. No emotional connection,
but the no-sex was amazing.Copy !req
57. None of the best sex I ever had.Copy !req
58. You know,
I was actually thinking about that.Copy !req
59. Remember that idea you had
about the dating app for asexuals?Copy !req
60. - Nope!Copy !req
61. "All About That Ace"?Copy !req
62. You should get yourself out there.
You were the best boyfriend I ever had.Copy !req
63. If only there was a version of you
I could have sex with, I'd be all set.Copy !req
64. - Whoa, Emily. I just got a crazy idea.
- What?Copy !req
65. A restaurant where the menus
are printed on garlic bread,Copy !req
66. so after you order,
the first course is the menu!Copy !req
67. Oh.Copy !req
68. So, ever since Philbert wrapped
earlier today,Copy !req
69. the question on everybody's mind is,Copy !req
70. "What's Mr. Peanutbutter
going to do next?"Copy !req
71. You're a serious actor now,Copy !req
72. so I guess, narrate a documentary
about global warming,Copy !req
73. and then take a private jet
to the premiere?Copy !req
74. I've been looking for new projects.Copy !req
75. Seems like everything's based
on books these days,Copy !req
76. so I went to the book store
to scout some material.Copy !req
77. - Mm-hmm.
- But all the books are so long now.Copy !req
78. - Yeah?
- Who has the time?Copy !req
79. I'll just wait 'til the movie comes out,
then see the movie,Copy !req
80. and decide if the book the movie
is based on would make a good movie.Copy !req
81. Oh, that's a good strategy.Copy !req
82. Anyway, I was heading to the door
in book-length-related frustration...Copy !req
83. when I saw
one of those circular greeting card racks.Copy !req
84. Spotted a card that looked interesting,
and it's a super-quick read.Copy !req
85. - Eh...?Copy !req
86. - "Happy Birthday, Dad."
- Pretty cool dad, huh?Copy !req
87. You want to option this greeting card
for a movie?Copy !req
88. - We'll call it Birthday Dad.
- But what is it?Copy !req
89. Hmm? Mmm... it's... "Birthday Dad."Copy !req
90. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
91. - You think we can get the film rights?
- I'll look into it.Copy !req
92. So, then Joby was like,Copy !req
93. "Uh, nice scrunchie, Professor."Copy !req
94. It was literally a thing.Copy !req
95. Joby is the guy in your dorm
who plays guitar?Copy !req
96. Yeah, he's really funny,
but like soulful funny, you know?Copy !req
97. - That's great.
- Oh...!Copy !req
98. You know, I always thought
I would make a good college person.Copy !req
99. Roaming the campus,Copy !req
100. sticking it to the crusty old dean
with my rowdy 'tude,Copy !req
101. having friends, and learning things,
and just, uh, being young.Copy !req
102. - You okay?Copy !req
103. You look as if you saw Ghost in the Shell
and you're Scarlett Johansson's publicist.Copy !req
104. It's weird to be back in this house.Copy !req
105. This is where it all happened
with your mom.Copy !req
106. Oh, my God, this is so weird.Copy !req
107. Hollyhock, whoa. It's okay.
That's ancient history.Copy !req
108. My mom is dead, so nobody is going
to drug you with secret pills. All right?Copy !req
109. Now, how about we make new, fun, memories
to cancel out the old ones?Copy !req
110. - Can the new memories be pizza-related?
- No doy!Copy !req
111. Ah, thank you for meeting me
on such short notice.Copy !req
112. It's nice to see you.Copy !req
113. I'm sure Fridays
must be a big night for you.Copy !req
114. You were probably planning on going out
to a nice dinner with your new girlfriend?Copy !req
115. Or seeing a movie
with your new girlfriend?Copy !req
116. Or staying in and watching cable—Copy !req
117. I get what you're asking. The answer is,
no, I don't have cable anymore.Copy !req
118. Oh!Copy !req
119. Or a new girlfriend.Copy !req
120. I'm not seeing anyone either.
I've just been so busy with my Philbert.Copy !req
121. Philbert? You have a Philbert?Copy !req
122. Oh, I'm sorry. It's a show I'm producing.Copy !req
123. Not the baby we really wanted
but never had.Copy !req
124. Oh, well, that's great, too.Copy !req
125. Anyway, Mr. Peanutbutter wants
to option this card as a movie.Copy !req
126. - Birthday Dad.
- How is it a movie?Copy !req
127. - Hmm. It's "Birthday Dad."
- Oh. Okay.Copy !req
128. - Oh!Copy !req
129. - I'm sorry.
- Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
130. - Hello?Copy !req
131. Can you get to the St. Bernard
Medical Center in like, a half hour?Copy !req
132. Uh, I think so. Why?Copy !req
133. I just got my tonsils taken out,Copy !req
134. - and I need a ride home.
- What?Copy !req
135. Nah, I'm just messing with you.
A pregnant lady doesn't want the baby.Copy !req
136. If you can get there tonight,
the baby's yours.Copy !req
137. Tonight? That's so—
she doesn't even know me.Copy !req
138. Hey, man. You don't say no to free baby.Copy !req
139. Okay.Copy !req
140. Is everything okay?Copy !req
141. I have to drive my hospital
to the car right now!Copy !req
142. I'm a baby,
and there's adopting on the way!Copy !req
143. - You're adopting?
- Vroom-vroom!Copy !req
144. There's so much food in my lap!
Doesn't matter! It's fine!Copy !req
145. - All part of being a mother!
- You are really freaking out.Copy !req
146. Am I freaking out too much? Or not enough?Copy !req
147. - Let me drive you.
- But I have the car seat in my car.Copy !req
148. They won't let you go home without one.
It's the only rule, really.Copy !req
149. There should be more rules,
but who am I to judge?Copy !req
150. - Hey, breathe.Copy !req
151. I'll get the car seat. Let's go.Copy !req
152. Ugh. I ate too much.Copy !req
153. I need ice cream
to smoosh the rest of it down.Copy !req
154. Oh, I don't keep junk food in the house,Copy !req
155. ever since last night
when I ate all of my ice cream.Copy !req
156. Hey, why do you have a vodka bottle
for every day of the week?Copy !req
157. Oh, that's just my new system I'm trying.
I'm down to one bottle a day.Copy !req
158. - Is this like an AA thing?
- No, I don't need AA.Copy !req
159. - Would you get outta there?
- I want ice cream.Copy !req
160. - Give me your keys.
- What? No.Copy !req
161. - Come on. Let me drive the Tesla.
- With your greasy pizza fingers?Copy !req
162. - Forget it.
- Come on!Copy !req
163. - Hey.
- Ooh!Copy !req
164. What the hell are these?Copy !req
165. What? Oh, those...Copy !req
166. Why was this in your pocket?
Are these for me?Copy !req
167. No, Hollyhock. God, no.Copy !req
168. Oh God, did you put this in my pizza?Copy !req
169. What? Of course not. Hollyhock.
No. Give me the— no!Copy !req
170. - Oops.
- Hollyhock, those were for my back!Copy !req
171. - Wait, for real?
- Yes.Copy !req
172. Oh, then actually, oops.Copy !req
173. - Hey, Todd. Is everything okay?
- I need to talk to someone,Copy !req
174. and you're the only person I knew
would be available on a Friday night,Copy !req
175. - with nothing to do.
- Hey, I almost went to the movies tonight!Copy !req
176. It's not my fault there's never anything
in the 8:00 hour.Copy !req
177. 9:15 is too late. 7:00 is too early.
When am I supposed to eat dinner?Copy !req
178. Uh, sneak in a bag of mashed potatoes
like the rest of us?Copy !req
179. - Is this your whole apartment?
- It's a studio.Copy !req
180. I ate lunch with a studio head
just yesterday.Copy !req
181. - This is not a studio.
- What do you need, Todd?Copy !req
182. Well, my friend, Emily,
did something really nice for me,Copy !req
183. and I wanna pay her back.Copy !req
184. - Thought you could help me brainstorm.
- Okay. What kind of things does she like?Copy !req
185. Well, sex, for one.Copy !req
186. Good for her!
A woman needs to know her own bodyCopy !req
187. before she expects someone else
to know her body.Copy !req
188. - What? What are we talking about?
- What?Copy !req
189. I think sex, for one?Copy !req
190. Oh! Diane, you sad-homed genius.Copy !req
191. - You've cracked it!
- What?Copy !req
192. To the junkyard
behind the engineering school!Copy !req
193. - Always happy to contribute!Copy !req
194. - Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I freaked out.
- It's not your fault.Copy !req
195. Your generation's been brainwashed
by McGruff the Crime Dog.Copy !req
196. Who, by the way, I met at a party once?
Didn't ask me a single question about me.Copy !req
197. Yeah, and also
because of the time I overdosed on pills.Copy !req
198. Right, well, these were good pills.Copy !req
199. I told you I'm on a system now.
I'm not "doing drugs." This was medicine.Copy !req
200. Can you get more?Copy !req
201. Oh, sure.
I'll just call the pharmacy and say,Copy !req
202. "Hey, girl, you know
that highly-addictive opioidCopy !req
203. I'm supposed to take every three hours?
Well, I kind of misplaced them,Copy !req
204. so could I just get some more?
I'm totally not a drug addict."Copy !req
205. - I'm really sorry.
- No. It's fine.Copy !req
206. Let's enjoy our time together,
even though I'm in tremendous pain.Copy !req
207. I'll try to forget it,Copy !req
208. but the whole time
we might be thinking about it.Copy !req
209. I do not blame you, but if you
blame yourself, that is okay with me.Copy !req
210. You must know a place
you can get more painkillers.Copy !req
211. I do know a guy,Copy !req
212. but he's somewhat "south of Pico,"
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
213. I don't. Why do Los Angeles people thinkCopy !req
214. everyone else understands
your local references?Copy !req
215. Okay, okay, let's go.Copy !req
216. I can't believe you're adopting.Copy !req
217. I just realized
it was the right thing for me.Copy !req
218. I just remember you were so adamant
about having the baby yourself,Copy !req
219. even when I said we should talk
about other options.Copy !req
220. - Yeah, but the way you said it—
- I'm not mad.Copy !req
221. I just think it's funny you had
that change of heart after we broke up.Copy !req
222. I'm sorry. This is not about me.Copy !req
223. You'll be a great mom,
and I'm really happy for you.Copy !req
224. - Yeah?
- Of course.Copy !req
225. Well, one day,
you're gonna be a great dad.Copy !req
226. - Hopefully as cool as Birthday Dad!Copy !req
227. - Why are we at the pediatrician?
- Trust me.Copy !req
228. This doctor is the sleaziest, dopiest,
scurviest of the scurvy.Copy !req
229. - Who is he?
- Exactly.Copy !req
230. - Hu... wants to par-tay?Copy !req
231. Dr. Hu! Thank you for squeezing us in!Copy !req
232. You always gotta make time
for your friends.Copy !req
233. And I haven't seen you
since Sarah Lynn's funeral.Copy !req
234. Oh, right.Copy !req
235. That was a huge wake-up call for me.Copy !req
236. Next morning I looked in the mirror,
and you know who I saw staring back at me?Copy !req
237. Who?
- Exactly.Copy !req
238. - What?
- No. Hu.Copy !req
239. I spent 30 days at Pastiches Malibu
and now I'm sober.Copy !req
240. It's like I completely regenerated
as a brand-new doctor.Copy !req
241. Congratulations.Copy !req
242. You'd have to be a real lost cause
not to seek helpCopy !req
243. after losing Sarah Lynn like that,
don't you think?Copy !req
244. Oh, deffo. I mean, you know, get helpCopy !req
245. or, you know,
work out a system on your own.Copy !req
246. Even, you know, whatever's right for you.Copy !req
247. Anyway, I'm trying to get my hands
on some Feelbetterin?Copy !req
248. Feelbetterin?Copy !req
249. BoJack, have you been taking
oxypraxylcortizoid?Copy !req
250. Yeah. I know what you're thinking,
but I legitimately have a herniated disc.Copy !req
251. He's telling the truth!Copy !req
252. I threw out his pills because of my trauma
from when I got drugged by his mama.Copy !req
253. - You got drugged by your own mother?
- No, my mother.Copy !req
254. Her mother was a maid
who got knocked up by my dad,Copy !req
255. but she got adopted by eight other dads.Copy !req
256. Okay, do you know how many times
I hear this story every week?Copy !req
257. This story, specifically?
Even the "eight dads" part?Copy !req
258. I don't know who you think you're fooling,
but this Hu won't get fooled again.Copy !req
259. Thank you for coming, Emily.Copy !req
260. What's with all the candles?
Why are you wearing a robe?Copy !req
261. Oh, I blew a fuse earlier,
so I had to light candles.Copy !req
262. That took a while,
and then I didn't get to change.Copy !req
263. - Oh.
- Hold that thought.Copy !req
264. - The thought of "Oh"?
- That's right.Copy !req
265. Because you're gonna need it
when you meet your new best friend...Copy !req
266. - Uh...Copy !req
267. - Whoa!
- Henry Fondle!Copy !req
268. - What? What?
- He's a sex robot!Copy !req
269. So, you can stop dating
all those boring guys and still have sex!Copy !req
270. - Stop me if you've heard this one. What?
- And guess what?Copy !req
271. I even recorded dozens
of sexy robot phrasesCopy !req
272. - for it to say at random intervals!Copy !req
273. I am Henry Fondle.
Insert me into genitals!Copy !req
274. - Why did you do this?
- To show you that I care about your needs.Copy !req
275. My prime directive
is to pleasure you.Copy !req
276. Todd, I'm not sure you understand
how sex works.Copy !req
277. That is so condescending.Copy !req
278. I know what sex is. I am not a child.Copy !req
279. I'm just not great at building robots.Copy !req
280. This is my first one, and frankly,Copy !req
281. I think it's pretty impressive
I put it together in one afternoon.Copy !req
282. I love it when you call me "Father."Copy !req
283. Oh, no!
My wacky scheme backfired as always!Copy !req
284. - I'm really sorry.
- It's fine.Copy !req
285. We're spending time together,
that's all that matters.Copy !req
286. You're not super-mad at me, still?Copy !req
287. When this is done,
maybe it'll make a great storyCopy !req
288. you can tell that kid you have a crush on.Copy !req
289. Who, Joby?
I don't have a crush on him.Copy !req
290. Get out of here.
His jawline is, like, dumb.Copy !req
291. - Oh, okay.
- Where are we going now?Copy !req
292. There's this actress I was kind of seeing
while we were working togetherCopy !req
293. and I might have left some pills
at her place.Copy !req
294. She made it clear she doesn't want
to see me again but she's not home now.Copy !req
295. - Why do I know Gina's schedule?
- Where is she?Copy !req
296. She has a book club with dumb Nicole
who keeps picking very long Italian booksCopy !req
297. that Nicole doesn't even read.
Why do I know about Gina's friends?Copy !req
298. - Do you have a key?
- I have my ways.Copy !req
299. - Well, I'm out of ways.
- I'll go around backCopy !req
300. and see if there's a window
I can climb through.Copy !req
301. Ooh, good thinking! I'll stand guard.Copy !req
302. Ugh.Copy !req
303. Oh, shit.Copy !req
304. BoJack?Copy !req
305. Oh, my God! What happened to book club?Copy !req
306. We switched it to Thursdays
to confuse Nicole.Copy !req
307. - Why are you here?
- I just wanted to check on you.Copy !req
308. - Wait, Gina. No, stay outside.Copy !req
309. I just— I need to talk to you.Copy !req
310. Slowly.Copy !req
311. Is this about our relationship?
What is there to talk about?Copy !req
312. Well, I just been thinking that...Copy !req
313. we should keep looking
at this relationship.Copy !req
314. Like all parts of this relationship.Copy !req
315. Like even in the junk drawer,
in the kitchen of this relationship.Copy !req
316. - Or the bathroom cabinet.
- I told you I didn't want to see you.Copy !req
317. I want you to know
that you are top-shelf, Gina.Copy !req
318. - Know what I mean? Top shelf.
- So, what, you wanna get back together?Copy !req
319. - Eh...?
- Yes!Copy !req
320. Wait, really?Copy !req
321. - Okay, I gotta run.
- BoJack.Copy !req
322. I have had 28 on-set flings,
and no guy has ever come to my houseCopy !req
323. after shooting was over to try
to have a real relationship.Copy !req
324. - Well...
- I guess I sort of internalized the ideaCopy !req
325. I didn't deserve that?Copy !req
326. Yeah, but like I said, I really gotta run.Copy !req
327. But maybe I do deserve it.
Maybe we both do.Copy !req
328. BoJack, is it possible that we're the ones
we've been waiting for?Copy !req
329. Uh, yes. I totally think that is possible,Copy !req
330. which is why I can't wait
to talk about this tomorrow!Copy !req
331. - What? Where are you going?
- I'll call you!Copy !req
332. Whoa!Copy !req
333. Think I need to call her,
or did I leave things open enoughCopy !req
334. - where I can kinda ghost?
- What?Copy !req
335. Kidding! I'll call her.
I'm very fond of that woman.Copy !req
336. And I'm sure
that things are gonna work out fine,Copy !req
337. and we can find a way to be happy together
and I won't hurt herCopy !req
338. in a way that she carries with her
for the rest of her life.Copy !req
339. - Uh, okay.
- Lemme get them pills.Copy !req
340. - What the hell? These aren't my pills!
- Sorry!Copy !req
341. - Not your fault. It's just... my back.Copy !req
342. - I got another idea.
- Okay.Copy !req
343. - Do you think Gina needed those?
- She'll be fine. Nobody needs pills.Copy !req
344. - You could've just dropped me off.
- I wanted to be here.Copy !req
345. - Hope that's okay.
- It's actually nice you're here.Copy !req
346. All the times I imagined us
taking home a baby from the hospital,Copy !req
347. I never pictured it like this.Copy !req
348. You mean, you never pictured
it would happen on a Friday?Copy !req
349. Yeah, exactly.
That's the main difference.Copy !req
350. How come you never called me
after I kicked you out of my apartment?Copy !req
351. You were so mad at me.
I didn't think you wanted me to.Copy !req
352. I didn't.
But you still should have called.Copy !req
353. - Well, you could have called me.
- Yeah.Copy !req
354. - I wish you'd stayed with me that night.
- You told me to leave.Copy !req
355. Yeah. I guess the lesson is,
don't listen to me, right?Copy !req
356. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
357. Is that really what you're gonna wear
for the first time your new baby sees you?Copy !req
358. - Yes?
- Oof! Okay.Copy !req
359. I'm supposed to be back
at the airport in, like, two hours.Copy !req
360. Is this really
how you want to spend this time?Copy !req
361. Again, and...
I hate to keep harping on this,Copy !req
362. we wouldn't be here
if someone hadn't dumped my medicine.Copy !req
363. I know, but this place is super sketchy.Copy !req
364. It looks like
where they did the drag race in Grease.Copy !req
365. It is where they did the drag race
in Grease.Copy !req
366. - Where do you think they make movies?
- Ooh!Copy !req
367. - You a cop?
- What? No. Oh, shit.Copy !req
368. No, it's a costume.
I just finished filming a show.Copy !req
369. Normally, people return the costume.Copy !req
370. Hello, drug merchant.
Is it lit under here?Copy !req
371. What?Copy !req
372. Are there illegal pharmaceuticals
available for purchase?Copy !req
373. And please, talk into my lollipop.Copy !req
374. - Okay, this guy's a cop.
- I assure you I am not.Copy !req
375. He's just saying that
because earlier I said he was a cop.Copy !req
376. No. You can see the outline of his badge
under his tee-shirt!Copy !req
377. - Yeah, no, he's definitely a cop.
- Seems cool to me.Copy !req
378. Listen. If I were a cop,Copy !req
379. I'd have pancake breathCopy !req
380. from the precinct's
weekly Friday night pancake dinners.Copy !req
381. - But I do not. So clearly, not a cop.
- Uh...Copy !req
382. Unless, I somehow had an Altoid,
or a Tic-Tac after,Copy !req
383. which again, no.
I am a gum guy.Copy !req
384. That all tracks for me.
Here are your drugs.Copy !req
385. - Aha! We got the package!
- Whoa!Copy !req
386. Run!Copy !req
387. - They're getting away!Copy !req
388. - Go, go, go!Copy !req
389. Oh, no!
- Here, get up.Copy !req
390. - Eh...?
- Come on! We have to keep moving!Copy !req
391. Ooh!Copy !req
392. - Thanks, Doug.
- I'm not here for you.Copy !req
393. I'm here because I respect the art
of putting out fires.Copy !req
394. - I'm really sorry, Emily.
- It was a sweet idea.Copy !req
395. I guess I just thought
you waste so much timeCopy !req
396. with these boring firemen
just for the sex.Copy !req
397. - Eh?
- Doug, some privacy, please?Copy !req
398. Okay.Copy !req
399. Maybe I figured if you had some other way
to satisfy yourself sexually,Copy !req
400. then you could spend more time with me.Copy !req
401. - Like we did in high school.
- Todd, we were dating in high school.Copy !req
402. Do you ever think about
what it would be like if we dated now?Copy !req
403. I don't know. What would it be like?Copy !req
404. I guess we'd hang out together,
like we already do.Copy !req
405. And you would be my favorite person,
like you already are.Copy !req
406. And when something good happened to me,
like if I got a promotion at work,Copy !req
407. you'd be the first person I'd tell,Copy !req
408. and you'd smile and say,
"That's my boyfriend."Copy !req
409. Well, that could be cool.
But then I would have sex with the robot?Copy !req
410. Boop, boop, boop! Oh!Copy !req
411. Uh-hh!Copy !req
412. - Hooray.
- I guess it's not ideal.Copy !req
413. You know,
when I was putting the app together,Copy !req
414. I learned that some asexuals
actually do have sex.Copy !req
415. - Do you... think that there's a chance?
Um-umm.Copy !req
416. - Okay. Well, you got any other ideas?
- Hmm.Copy !req
417. What about if marbles were cube-shaped,
so they don't roll away as much?Copy !req
418. - No dice.Copy !req
419. Oh, he's beautiful.Copy !req
420. Do you think I'm terrible
for giving him away?Copy !req
421. What? Of course not.Copy !req
422. I don't know the first thing
about being a parent.Copy !req
423. - Bridget, it's okay.
- Your baby's in excellent hands.Copy !req
424. I'm just so glad he's going
to a good home,Copy !req
425. - with a mother and a father.
- What's this, now?Copy !req
426. I mean, if my boyfriend was still
in the picture, maybe I could be a parent,Copy !req
427. but as is, I think the baby's
probably better off with you two.Copy !req
428. - Oh, no, Ralph's not—
- That's right!Copy !req
429. We're gonna make
a wonderful family together.Copy !req
430. - Ralph, don't lie to her.
- I'm not lying.Copy !req
431. A year ago, we wanted to have
a family together.Copy !req
432. - I still want that.
- Ralph, no. You should go.Copy !req
433. I hear you say that, but I'm not making
the mistake I made last time.Copy !req
434. I don't want this.Copy !req
435. This seems like a subject
you should have agreed onCopy !req
436. before you came to the hospital.Copy !req
437. We can do this. Nothing has changed.Copy !req
438. I changed! I have plans now,
and you're not in them.Copy !req
439. - You don't need to do this by yourself.
- I never needed to. I want to.Copy !req
440. I'm not afraid of how hard it's gonna be.Copy !req
441. I already love this baby.
And that gives me so much power.Copy !req
442. I don't need anything else.Copy !req
443. Oh, my God, I just realized something.Copy !req
444. If you can do it by yourself,
maybe that means I can do it by myself.Copy !req
445. - Uh...
- No, no, Bridget, you definitely can't.Copy !req
446. I thought I couldn't.
But that speech you gave was so inspiring.Copy !req
447. It made me realize that all I need
to be a good mother is love.Copy !req
448. Actually, you need so much more than that.
I was wrong when I said that a second ago.Copy !req
449. Okay. But for real,
give me my baby boy.Copy !req
450. Oh-hh...
- Coochie-coochie-choo...Copy !req
451. - Princess Carolyn, you are amazing.Copy !req
452. - Can you be my mom?
Oh-hh!Copy !req
453. There's gotta be another way to get pills.Copy !req
454. How about calling this Joby?
He sounds like a druggie.Copy !req
455. - I thought your back hurts.
- Yeah.Copy !req
456. - How did you lift me over the fence?
- Well, the adrenaline kicked in.Copy !req
457. - Do you really need these pills?
- Hollyhock, how many times—Copy !req
458. I'm just saying,
is it possible maybe you don't—Copy !req
459. Okay. You go to college
and suddenly you're so sophisticated,Copy !req
460. - and I'm a dumb junkie, is that it?
- What? No!Copy !req
461. You don't understand anything!Copy !req
462. - I am in pain.
- No, I get that.Copy !req
463. All the time. My whole life.
And you have no idea.Copy !req
464. So, sorry that you had one bad experience
with my mom,Copy !req
465. but I have been in pain my whole life.Copy !req
466. I think you should take me to the airport.Copy !req
467. Okay.Copy !req
468. - You're sure I can't drive you home?
- No, Ralph.Copy !req
469. Can I at least wait with you for the cab?Copy !req
470. Okay.Copy !req
471. So, I guess I'll see you later.Copy !req
472. - Hollyhock, I'm sorry.
- Me, too.Copy !req
473. Maybe, it's possible that I don't...Copy !req
474. 100-percent need-need the pills.Copy !req
475. I thought I did, but— yeah.Copy !req
476. So, thank you for... caring about me.Copy !req
477. - Are you gonna be okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
478. I could take a semester off,
if you need someone—Copy !req
479. No. God, no. Stay... stay in school.Copy !req
480. And take your classes, and kiss boys,
and do the college thing.Copy !req
481. I'm gonna be fine.
I get it. Drugs are bad.Copy !req
482. Not all drugs.Copy !req
483. Obviously, if you get hurt again,
and a doctor, a real doctorCopy !req
484. prescribes you painkillers,
you can take them.Copy !req
485. - But only if you get hurt again.
- Okay.Copy !req
486. - You promise?
- Yes. I promise.Copy !req
487. Okay. I love you.Copy !req
488. Hmm.Copy !req
489. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
490. Whew.Copy !req
491. Ugh!Copy !req
492. Uh...Copy !req