1. Halloween. Fright Night.
Spook-tober 30-cursed!Copy !req
2. Oh, there's the light switch.
I'm still getting used to this new house.Copy !req
3. I just bought it and it's the '60s!
No, I'm just kidding!Copy !req
4. It's 1993, and I'm wearing a costume!Copy !req
5. Groovy threads!
But you just got drafted, hippie!Copy !req
6. - Hmm?
- Into the cutest husband army!Copy !req
7. - Aw!Copy !req
8. Where's your costume?Copy !req
9. Can't I just wear a dumb hat
and say I'm Blossom?Copy !req
10. In my opinionation... Yes.Copy !req
11. I am so excited to go
to a real Hollywood partyCopy !req
12. with my husband the TV star.Copy !req
13. Just do me a favor
and don't leave me alone, okay?Copy !req
14. - Okay!
- Now hurry up and finish getting ready.Copy !req
15. I'm kidding.Copy !req
16. Can you imagine
if I spoke to you like that?Copy !req
17. I really can't!Copy !req
18. Next time, we're doing
a couples costume, though!Copy !req
19. It's the perfect way to tell the world
that you are completely on the same...Copy !req
20. - paaaaage?
- What are you wearing?Copy !req
21. I thought we were going
as Rachel McAdams and Ryan GoslingCopy !req
22. in the this-year 2004 hit film
The Notebook.Copy !req
23. Ooοοοh! You just said, "The Notebook."Copy !req
24. I thought you were gonna be, like,
a pen or something.Copy !req
25. The important thing is
we both look super-cute,Copy !req
26. and everyone is gonna be, like,Copy !req
27. "Hey, is that Jessica Biel
from the upcoming Blade: Trinity?"Copy !req
28. And I'll say my famous Blade: Trinity
catchphrase, "Stop goofin' around, Blade!"Copy !req
29. Are you sure you're gonna be okay
at this party?Copy !req
30. Whenever I went with Katrina,
we'd always end up in a big fight.Copy !req
31. Well, I'm not Katrina.
This is gonna be fun.Copy !req
32. Okay. I just know you're afraid
of mummies.Copy !req
33. And since it's Halloween,
we might see some mummies.Copy !req
34. I'm not afraid of mummies.Copy !req
35. I just don't like them
because of an incident...Copy !req
36. from my past.Copy !req
37. Will you stay on the lookout
and keep those creepy corpses away?Copy !req
38. I'll be sure to make
a mental note of it!Copy !req
39. I'm a notebook.Copy !req
40. I'm not sure I get our costumes.Copy !req
41. You're the guy from The Hangover.Copy !req
42. The first one, which just came out
this year. Why did I say "first one?"Copy !req
43. There's only one Hangover movie,
and it's 2009.Copy !req
44. - And you are...?
- Your Baby Bjorn Borg.Copy !req
45. Famous '70s tennis player!Copy !req
46. - And what's with the robot stuff?
- Borg. From Star Trek?Copy !req
47. And you're also a baby?Copy !req
48. In The Hangover, the guy had a Baby Bjorn.
Baby Bjorn Borg.Copy !req
49. - Seems like a lot of explaining.
- People will get it.Copy !req
50. Anyway, we are going to have fun
at this party!Copy !req
51. You said BoJack Horseman
is gonna be there?Copy !req
52. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.Copy !req
53. I'm not! Every Halloween party I went to
with one of my ex-wives,Copy !req
54. we'd get in a huge blow out.Copy !req
55. I am so relieved that you are fun
and easygoing,Copy !req
56. - so there's no danger of that happening!
- Mm-hmm...Copy !req
57. I love that we both love parties.
But more than that...Copy !req
58. - I love you.
- Aw, I love you, too.Copy !req
59. And I love these costumes!Copy !req
60. But tell me one more time,
what are these costumes?Copy !req
61. We're new social media app
sensation Tweed Feed!Copy !req
62. It's Insta plus Snapchat...Copy !req
63. if they both boinked Friendster,
which I guess was a thing in the '70s?Copy !req
64. Believe you me.
This party is going to be dope. Booyah!Copy !req
65. It'll be off the heezy fo' sheezy.Copy !req
66. OMG, it's gonna be cray-cray!Copy !req
67. Turnt! This is going to be
the best Halloween ever!Copy !req
68. Wow. My first fancy Hollywoo party.
"I'm ready for my close up!"Copy !req
69. Nice!Copy !req
70. - Sunset Boulevard?
- I usually take Fountain.Copy !req
71. BoJack must really love Halloween
if he has this big bash every year, huh?Copy !req
72. Oh, yeah, he's a real fiend for the 'ween.Copy !req
73. - Who are you and what are you doing here?
Good one!Copy !req
74. Pretending not to know your old friend
Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
75. Why are you at my house?Copy !req
76. Remember when I invited you
to my Halloween party, and you said,Copy !req
77. you'd love to come, but couldn'tCopy !req
78. because you were having
your own Halloween party?Copy !req
79. Oh, right.Copy !req
80. Well, I'm sure my guests will show up
any minute, so, you should probably go.Copy !req
81. Well, I figured,
"Hey, why not have a crossover party?"Copy !req
82. So, I brought my party, wait for it,
to you!Copy !req
83. That was the first ever "Wait for it!"
It's 1993!Copy !req
84. - Uh...
- Come on in, guys!Copy !req
85. - Um...Copy !req
86. God damn it, why are you here?Copy !req
87. At the end of last year's Halloween party,
you said, "Let's do this again next year,"Copy !req
88. like you've said at every Halloween party
for the last 11 years!Copy !req
89. That does not sound like me.Copy !req
90. Oh, no. Mr. Peanutbutter?
Partygoers? No. Is it—Copy !req
91. Sure is!Copy !req
92. Happy "Your 25-Years-Running"
Halloween Party!Copy !req
93. - Hallo-ween! Hallo-ween!Copy !req
94. - Hallo-ween! Hallo-ween!
- No. Don't. Please. Don't. No. You see—Copy !req
95. So, we're having a party?
Why didn't you say this was happening?Copy !req
96. Because I hate that it happens.
I take no action to make it happen.Copy !req
97. Every year, I pray that it won't happen,
and it keeps happening anyway!Copy !req
98. I feel like an idiot being
at a Halloween party without a costume.Copy !req
99. - Who cares? I don't have a costume.
- Uh, you're wearing a costume.Copy !req
100. Do you mean, in the sense
that we all wear costumes,Copy !req
101. such as we reveal facets of ourselves
to those closest to us,Copy !req
102. but our truest selves remain hidden?Copy !req
103. No, in the sense
that you are literally wearing a costumeCopy !req
104. - from the TV show we both work on.
- Oh, yeah!Copy !req
105. I'll go to Rite Aid to see
what I can arrange.Copy !req
106. Don't let the party end
before I get back.Copy !req
107. I definitely will let it die down!Copy !req
108. Oh, shit, the Halloween party.Copy !req
109. Oh. Hey, careful with the— I'm sorry.
Can you put a coaster—Copy !req
110. - Can someone—?Copy !req
111. - You! Marv's intern!Copy !req
112. - You're on door duty.
- You got it!Copy !req
113. - I'm very good at opening doors.Copy !req
114. Do you have any candy
for trick-or-treaters?Copy !req
115. No. I don't know.
Just hand out these Emmy screeners.Copy !req
116. I'm on it.Copy !req
117. Those kids'll be holding out their hands
for Franz.Copy !req
118. Why grip a Twix when you can Sip-o-wicz?Copy !req
119. What? I don't— Just keep answering
the door until I tell you to stop.Copy !req
120. - You got it, chief!Copy !req
121. - Diane! What are you supposed to be?
- An annoyed writer who hates Halloween.Copy !req
122. Well, you are nailing it.Copy !req
123. I'm just here to drop off pages
for BoJack. How's the party?Copy !req
124. I wouldn't know.
I'm stuck on door duty, like always.Copy !req
125. Trick or treat!Copy !req
126. No. You are way too old
to be trick-or-treating,Copy !req
127. and way too young to be a guest
at this party.Copy !req
128. Oh, no! Why did I give you the option
of trick or treat? I just wanted treat!Copy !req
129. Come back when you're five years older,
or three years younger.Copy !req
130. How 'bout now?Copy !req
131. Okay. Come on in.Copy !req
132. - Whoa! Cool house.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
133. - It's not mine. It's my boyfriend's.
- Really?Copy !req
134. - Why does he make you answer the door?
- No, he doesn't make me, he's—Copy !req
135. Oh, my God. You're right! What am I doing?
What am I doing with my life?Copy !req
136. Uh, well, judging by your outfit,
I'd say you're a pilot of some sort?Copy !req
137. I moved to L.A. when I was 18
and now I'm 35!Copy !req
138. - Everything's happening so fast!
- Oh, no! I'm 18!Copy !req
139. Am I going to be 35 soon?
That's when they make you president!Copy !req
140. I don't want that!
That's too much responsibility!Copy !req
141. I can't do this anymore.
You! Take my shift!Copy !req
142. Oh, no!
The responsibilities are already starting!Copy !req
143. I gotta live my life!Copy !req
144. I deserve to be adored by a man,
yet here my dreams lie dormant!Copy !req
145. I don't mean to get mordantly morbid,Copy !req
146. but did I get all adorably adorned
to get bored manning doors? No more!Copy !req
147. Okay, this cider has not been
sufficiently alcoholed.Copy !req
148. If I'm trapped here with all you losers,
I'm at least getting drunk.Copy !req
149. Whoa! God! I think
somebody spiked the cider!Copy !req
150. Well, I guess
one drink won't hurt.Copy !req
151. No, I get that it's the X-Files.Copy !req
152. I'm just saying, what happened to the "A"
through "W" Files?Copy !req
153. I wanna see that show. More files!Copy !req
154. - Hey.
- Oh, hey, there you are!Copy !req
155. Sweetheart, you disappeared
while I was in the bathroom.Copy !req
156. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just
got distracted by the fun party.Copy !req
157. But I will not leave your side agai—
Oh, my God, is that Erica?Copy !req
158. No, no, please don't go talk to Erica.Copy !req
159. Katrina. Erica doesn't know anybody else
at this party.Copy !req
160. It would be rude to leave her
all by herself.Copy !req
161. Well, can I at least come with you?Copy !req
162. You know Erica can't talk
to two people at onceCopy !req
163. on account of her split-brain procedure!Copy !req
164. Why don't you go talk to, uh...
the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off?Copy !req
165. Ben Stein?Copy !req
166. I'll bet that famously boring man
is a blast at parties. I'll be right back.Copy !req
167. - No, don't—
- Erica! Love the costume!Copy !req
168. Where did you find such a hideous—?
Oh, my mistake, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
169. Ugh!Copy !req
170. Are you sure this is a good idea,
13-year-old Todd?Copy !req
171. It's part of the Halloween Code.Copy !req
172. If you don't give teenagers candy,
they're going to TP your house.Copy !req
173. Okay.Copy !req
174. Okay, I've scoped out the party,
and I've yet to see a single mummy.Copy !req
175. As Margaret Thatcher's children
often asked,Copy !req
176. "Is Mummy coming to see us?"Copy !req
177. And as their nanny always replied,Copy !req
178. "Not tonight."Copy !req
179. - Thank god.
I have to ask,Copy !req
180. what is the deal with the mummies?Copy !req
181. Okay. I auditioned for The Mummy movie.Copy !req
182. - The one with Brendan Fraser?
- Ooh!Copy !req
183. And I thought everything was going well,Copy !req
184. and then something
really traumatic happened.Copy !req
185. - Oh, my God, what?
- I, uh... I didn't get the part.Copy !req
186. That's it? You just didn't get it?Copy !req
187. I really wanted it!
And it still haunts me!Copy !req
188. It's my one major career disappointment
as of 2004,Copy !req
189. so could you please do me
this one thingCopy !req
190. and make sure I don't see any mummies?Copy !req
191. I promise. No mummies.Copy !req
192. Remember that time that lady
freaked out 'cause she saw a mummy?Copy !req
193. - Who was that lady?
- Uh, that was actually Jessica Biel.Copy !req
194. Who?Copy !req
195. - One of my ex-wives?
- Oh, yeah!Copy !req
196. You've brought so many wives
and girlfriends to these parties,Copy !req
197. - I cannot keep track.
- Well, don't forget about Pickles, huh?Copy !req
198. Uh, what? Why is the waitress here
talking about pickles?Copy !req
199. Somebody order pickles?Copy !req
200. No, BoJack, this is my girlfriend.
Her name is Pickles.Copy !req
201. You can remember
because if you look at me,Copy !req
202. and don't recall my name, you'll think,Copy !req
203. "Who is this person?
I'm in a real pickle!"Copy !req
204. And then just know that my name
is like the thing that you're in,Copy !req
205. but with an "S" at the end.Copy !req
206. - What?
- I'm Pickles!Copy !req
207. - My last name is Aplenty!
- Do I need to know this one?Copy !req
208. - Is she gonna be around for a while?Copy !req
209. I like that you're razzing me.Copy !req
210. It really makes me feel
like one of the gang.Copy !req
211. If he teases you, that means he likes you.Copy !req
212. What? Is that what people think
when I tease them?Copy !req
213. Cool.Copy !req
214. Remember the year
that Pinky won the costume contest,Copy !req
215. but then it turned out he'd just lost
all his belongings in a fire,Copy !req
216. and those clothes were all that he owned?Copy !req
217. That was classic!Copy !req
218. Oh, shit, I gotta go run
the costume contest.Copy !req
219. Ow! My back! Why'd I do that?Copy !req
220. It sounds like
you all have a lot of history.Copy !req
221. Yeah. I can't believe
we've been doing this party since '93.Copy !req
222. - That's the year I was born!
- I... did not realize that!Copy !req
223. Hey, cheers!Copy !req
224. Are you having fun?Copy !req
225. Yeah, I'm having a great time explaining
my costume to people over and over again.Copy !req
226. Hey, here's a thought:
if you don't get someone's costume,Copy !req
227. you don't need to tell them!
Just live your life!Copy !req
228. - Do you wanna leave?
- No, no, no, no! I'm fun!Copy !req
229. I don't want to leave!Copy !req
230. I wanna leave!Copy !req
231. Who has the yellow military
assault vehicle blocking me in?Copy !req
232. - Oh, that's me!
- Since when do you drive a Hummer?Copy !req
233. Company car.
I just like it 'cause it matches my hat.Copy !req
234. Plus, lots of room for the golf clubs,
and, boy, does that kitten purr.Copy !req
235. Why don't you take her out for a spin
and see how she handles?Copy !req
236. What is his costume?Copy !req
237. - Diane! Hi!
- Hey...Copy !req
238. Am I on the hit Priscilla Barnes vehicle
Three's Company right now,Copy !req
239. because three's company.Copy !req
240. - I'm just trying to get out of here.
- Oh, my gosh, Diane,Copy !req
241. I just want you to know that I know
that you and Mister have a history...Copy !req
242. - "Mister?"
- And I'm fine with it,Copy !req
243. and there's no reason we should be awkward
around each other, or jealous, you know?Copy !req
244. - I'm not jealous of you.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
245. I'm not jealous of you either,
even though you are really intimidating.Copy !req
246. But if we were jealous of each other,
that would be very normal,Copy !req
247. so either way, it's totally cool.
Totally cool.Copy !req
248. Should we do shots togetherCopy !req
249. to, like, celebrate
how normal we're being?Copy !req
250. Yeah, this is a good situation.Copy !req
251. Okay, bye, Diane!Copy !req
252. - Did I screw up? I'm so stupid.
- No. That's just Diane.Copy !req
253. She doesn't like parties
and she hates fun.Copy !req
254. - Oh!
- No, that's not fair. She used to be fun.Copy !req
255. In fact, when we first started dating,
my favorite thing about her wasCopy !req
256. that she was so much more fun
than my other ex-wives.Copy !req
257. Oh, we're talking about your exes again!
That's great.Copy !req
258. Of course, Jessica used to be fun, too.Copy !req
259. That's why I started seeing her
after KatrinaCopy !req
260. because Katrina was so mean and cynical,
and Jessica was sweet and full of life.Copy !req
261. Yeah, she sounds awesome.Copy !req
262. But, actually, now that I think about it,Copy !req
263. when I first met Katrina,
she was also full of life.Copy !req
264. Do you want another drink?
I'm going to get another drink.Copy !req
265. Oh, my God. What a weird coincidence.Copy !req
266. Why do all these idealistic,
vivacious women eventually turn bitterCopy !req
267. and cruel after being with me?
What's the common denominator?Copy !req
268. Ugh.Copy !req
269. - Hey, buddy.
- Ugh.Copy !req
270. The conga line leader
accidentally led us right into the pool.Copy !req
271. I've never felt so alive!Copy !req
272. - You should've been there!
- I want to go home now.Copy !req
273. - What? But this party is so fun!
- It's not fun for me.Copy !req
274. 'Cause I don't know anyone here.Copy !req
275. Of course you do. Just— BoJack!
You remember my wife Katrina.Copy !req
276. - Huh? No, I do not.
- This is going great.Copy !req
277. - I'm gonna go dry off. You two chat it up.
- No, Mr. Peanutbutter, please.Copy !req
278. Thank you for hosting this party.Copy !req
279. So fun.Copy !req
280. - What's the story on the hat?
- It's a Blossom costume.Copy !req
281. Oh, shit, that's right! It's Halloween.
I need a costume! Good call, stranger!Copy !req
282. Ugh.Copy !req
283. So, I love parties, as you know,
but maybe we should go soon?Copy !req
284. There are so many famous people here,
it's actually making me kind of anxious.Copy !req
285. Diane! Famous people are just
like you and me.Copy !req
286. Well, like me, because I am one.Copy !req
287. Mom? No, I can't talk right now.
Can I call you tomorrow?Copy !req
288. Or is this the one night a year
you emerge from your crypt?Copy !req
289. Go introduce yourself.
I'm sure he'd love to meet you!Copy !req
290. - Or we could just go home?
- No, come on.Copy !req
291. It's Halloween,
a night to face your fears.Copy !req
292. That's why they call it Halloween!Copy !req
293. So, you can wean yourself off
of having fears!Copy !req
294. Say "Hallo" to weaning!Copy !req
295. Okay. Todd's Hummer is now blocked in
by a blue Tesla.Copy !req
296. I'm looking for the owner of a blue Tesla.Copy !req
297. Studies say buying used is actually better
for the environment,Copy !req
298. but, hey, you tried,
and subsequently trapped me at this party!Copy !req
299. Oh.Copy !req
300. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
301. - So, thanks for the new script pages.
- You got it.Copy !req
302. Hey, listen. That submarine scene...Copy !req
303. You wanna talk about it?Copy !req
304. - No?
- Okay.Copy !req
305. We'll just put that in the large bucket
of things we don't talk about.Copy !req
306. - What is that supposed to mean?
- That you didn't wanna talk about it.Copy !req
307. This party sucks.Copy !req
308. Hey, doorman! I don't have a costume.Copy !req
309. And I don't wanna look stupid
at my own bitchin' Halloween party.Copy !req
310. Okay, I've got an idea.Copy !req
311. There. You're a one-night stand.
Get it? Nightstand?Copy !req
312. Nice! You should be a producer
or something.Copy !req
313. - Ha, ha. Yeah, right!Copy !req
314. - But not yet. Keep manning the door.
Yeah.Copy !req
315. Ah! All dry! Sorry,
I got a little distracted on the way backCopy !req
316. by some people with a Ouija board.Copy !req
317. A dead soul told me to "AERXIXFASP"!Copy !req
318. - What could it mean?
- Cool.Copy !req
319. While you were gone,
Ben Stein introduced me to Tim Allen,Copy !req
320. and the three of us had a long debate
about government spending,Copy !req
321. which is exactly
how I wanted to spend my Halloween.Copy !req
322. - I am so sorry.
- Although, I have to say,Copy !req
323. now that your TV show has put us
into a new tax bracket,Copy !req
324. maybe we should start
paying attention moreCopy !req
325. to how the government is using our money.Copy !req
326. - What?
- No, I don't know, ya know,Copy !req
327. I'm just saying
that a true capitalist-free marketCopy !req
328. is actually, if you really think about it,Copy !req
329. more fair than an arbitrary redistribution
based on need.Copy !req
330. - This is from Ten Minutes with Tim Allen?
- You left me alone for an hour and a half!Copy !req
331. I guess time flies
when you're having fun?Copy !req
332. - I am not having fun!Copy !req
333. Hey, I need a costume.
I can't be costume-less at my own party.Copy !req
334. Mm.Copy !req
335. Hmm.Copy !req
336. - Follow me.Copy !req
337. - Hold that. Now circle around here.
- Oh. What—Copy !req
338. - Okay. Just need some tape.
- No. What are— Hey.Copy !req
339. No, I get that there's a smoke monster,Copy !req
340. but other than that,
it's just Gilligan's Island, right?Copy !req
341. Oh, thank you so much.Copy !req
342. No!Copy !req
343. Whoa!Copy !req
344. Jessica!Copy !req
345. Am I written by Albert Hammond
and Diane Warren,Copy !req
346. originally recorded by Tina Turner,
but popularized by Ace of Base?Copy !req
347. Because "Don't Turn Around."Copy !req
348. Huh?Copy !req
349. Mummy!Copy !req
350. What do you mean, a duel?Copy !req
351. - You mean like, like a duel, a duel?Copy !req
352. Hold on, somebody's—Copy !req
353. - Baby Bjorn Borg.
- Oh, my God. Yes!Copy !req
354. Cute. What do you want?Copy !req
355. Oh, um, I actually wanted
to introduce yourself.Copy !req
356. I mean myself.Copy !req
357. Obviously, you already know yourself,
so...Copy !req
358. Oh, God. Listen, I just wanted to tell you
how much I loved Horsin' Around.Copy !req
359. It was, like, a very formative part
of my childhood. So... thank you.Copy !req
360. I get a warm feeling every time
I think about the song.Copy !req
361. - I'm sorry. I'm on the phone right now.
- Oh.Copy !req
362. Uh... Sorry.Copy !req
363. Yeah, Mom, I'm still here.
No, it was nobody important.Copy !req
364. No, I get them to Glee Club.Copy !req
365. But why are they singing
when they're not in the Glee Club?Copy !req
366. Where's the music coming from?
Doesn't seem realistic.Copy !req
367. Why did you make me talk to BoJack?
I made a complete fool of myself.Copy !req
368. - No.
- I can't do this.Copy !req
369. I'm good in small groups.Copy !req
370. I'm great in chat-rooms
and message boards.Copy !req
371. - What? No!
- Yes!Copy !req
372. And I didn't wanna tell you because
I know how much this party means to you.Copy !req
373. But I can't be more fun
than your ex-wives!Copy !req
374. It's too much pressure!Copy !req
375. I'm sorry.Copy !req
376. Uh-huh.Copy !req
377. - Whoo! Uh-huh.Copy !req
378. - Hey, Pickles? I'm sorry.
- For what?Copy !req
379. I shouldn't talk
about my ex-wives so much.Copy !req
380. I don't want you to feel
like you have to be fun.Copy !req
381. But I am fun.Copy !req
382. It has nothing to do with you,
or your ex-wives,Copy !req
383. or your ex-wife Diane,
who is in this room right now.Copy !req
384. Okay, now I'm looking for the owner
of a blue Tesla,Copy !req
385. a red Maserati, and a gold helicopter.Copy !req
386. - Let's just get out of here.
I don't wanna get out of here!Copy !req
387. - I'm having fun! This is fun for me!Copy !req
388. What's up with the waitress?Copy !req
389. You left me alone all night long!Copy !req
390. I ask so little of you!
And you never listen.Copy !req
391. I know, but now I am listening,Copy !req
392. and I swear I will stay by your side,
now and forever.Copy !req
393. I'll be on you like Urkel on Laura.
"Will I do that?"Copy !req
394. - Yes, I will.
- You know what? No.Copy !req
395. Because now I want to be alone.Copy !req
396. So, have fun hanging out with
all your hippie liberal friends, okay?Copy !req
397. - 'Cause I'm going home.
- Kar-nina! Don't go!Copy !req
398. Ugh.Copy !req
399. - Party's over.
- All right, fine.Copy !req
400. Let's make this an annual thing,
though, okay?Copy !req
401. I wanna see all of you, back here,
next year! No matter what!Copy !req
402. I asked you to do one thing,Copy !req
403. keep me away from mummies.
And you couldn't even do that!Copy !req
404. Okay, in my defense,Copy !req
405. I am dressed like a giant notebook,
which severely limits my mobility!Copy !req
406. How do you think I felt when I had to do
that screen test all wrapped up in gauze?Copy !req
407. Wait. You were auditioning
to play the mummy?Copy !req
408. Mom, I gotta go. Okay?
I'll call you tomorrow.Copy !req
409. Yeah. We will figure out Dad's funeral.
And... I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
410. - You! Boy! What's going on?
- I think the party's over, sir.Copy !req
411. I always thought that when this happened,
I would feel something.Copy !req
412. I don't know what, but something.Copy !req
413. But I don't feel anything.
What's wrong with me?Copy !req
414. Nothing's wrong.
Just sometimes parties are over.Copy !req
415. But... Hey, it doesn't have to be over.Copy !req
416. I mean, I could stick around
for a little bit.Copy !req
417. Yeah, sure, good idea.
Stick around for as long as you want.Copy !req
418. Yeah?Copy !req
419. Okay.Copy !req
420. I'm sorry I ruined
another Halloween for you.Copy !req
421. - You didn't ruin it.
- I really wanted you to think I was fun.Copy !req
422. Diane, you don't need to pretend
to be something you're not.Copy !req
423. - I already love you.
- What?Copy !req
424. And I'm going to love you,
no matter what version of you you are.Copy !req
425. So, you might as well give me
the real version.Copy !req
426. This is good.Copy !req
427. Now I know you don't like parties.Copy !req
428. So, we will never have
that argument again.Copy !req
429. Yeah.Copy !req
430. I really humiliated myself
in front of BoJack.Copy !req
431. - If it makes you feel better,Copy !req
432. I guarantee BoJack won't even remember
that he met you.Copy !req
433. Huh.Copy !req
434. Okay, new strategy.Copy !req
435. I'm looking for four
strong construction workersCopy !req
436. who can lift my car
and carry it out to the street,Copy !req
437. like in the Mentos commercial.
Any takers?Copy !req
438. Open the door!Copy !req
439. Just leave me alone!Copy !req
440. What's going on in there?
Tough SAT prep course?Copy !req
441. Fail her learner's permit test?Copy !req
442. Skirmish with the members
of the Baby-Sitter's Club?Copy !req
443. - Nope.
- Shattered dreams of playing AdelaideCopy !req
444. in her high school's production
of Guys and DollsCopy !req
445. because the musical director sees her
as more of a Rusty Charlie?Copy !req
446. I don't know why this keeps happening.Copy !req
447. I take these amazing women,
like Pickles, like you,Copy !req
448. Katrina, Jessica, and I ruin them.Copy !req
449. Uh...Copy !req
450. I'm not ruined.Copy !req
451. - No, I just mean... I don't listen.
- Okay, yes.Copy !req
452. It is definitely very annoying
how you don't listen.Copy !req
453. Thank you, but you don't have to say
nice things just to make me feel better.Copy !req
454. Huh? Okay, no.Copy !req
455. I was going to say you not listening
and I repeat, you don't listen,Copy !req
456. - that's not the only thing going on here.
- There are more things?Copy !req
457. - What do all these women have in common?
- They're mean?Copy !req
458. - When you first start dating them.
- They're fun?Copy !req
459. They're young.
You keep dating women in their 20s.Copy !req
460. I do, do that.Copy !req
461. They're not fully-formed yet.
Life changes people.Copy !req
462. - Well, not me.
- That's kind of my point.Copy !req
463. You don't ruin these women,
they just grow up.Copy !req
464. So, what you're saying is...
they all grow up, but I stay the same age?Copy !req
465. All right. All right. All right.
How do I fix that?Copy !req
466. Well, either you date someone older...Copy !req
467. - Ooooooor...
- Or, you grow up.Copy !req
468. Because otherwise,
they're gonna keep outgrowing you.Copy !req
469. Mind if I try?Copy !req
470. Okay, first thing we need to do
is sit you up and get you hydrated.Copy !req
471. Thanks.Copy !req
472. I understand what you're going through.Copy !req
473. I've been in your position before,
and this party is hard.Copy !req
474. It is!Copy !req
475. It's hard to be the new girlfriend.Copy !req
476. And to be at a famous person's house,
at an event with 25 years of history,Copy !req
477. and all these people
Mr. Peanutbutter has known for years.Copy !req
478. Plus, you're here.
- Plus, I'm here.Copy !req
479. - What if I'm just a rebound?
- Mm.Copy !req
480. I was a rebound.
And he loved me, so much, for ten years.Copy !req
481. If there's one thing I know
about him,Copy !req
482. it's that he loves the person he's with
deeply and unconditionally.Copy !req
483. So, you don't have to worry about me,
because I'm not that person anymore.Copy !req
484. - You are.
- Aw.Copy !req
485. - Oh!Copy !req
486. - If you guys will excuse me,Copy !req
487. I'm just gonna take
this dickhole's helicopter home.Copy !req
488. - Are you okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
489. I'm actually really glad you went through
all those ex-wivesCopy !req
490. because it means
I got the best version of you.Copy !req
491. - That's right. Version 4.0.
- Oh! I like the sound of that.Copy !req
492. Hey, you wanna just go home?
Hang out, just the two of us?Copy !req
493. Psh! No way! I just saw on Tweed Feed
that Josephine's ex, Tor,Copy !req
494. is throwing a monster shindig up in NoHo.Copy !req
495. Who-sephine's ex-what now?Copy !req
496. They have a two-story ice luge,
and a huge beer pond tournament.Copy !req
497. And I brought new costumes,Copy !req
498. so we don't have to look stupid wearing
the same in all our pictures.Copy !req
499. I never wanna grow up!Copy !req
500. Where's everybody going?
It's Halloween!Copy !req
501. Happy Hallowee— What the?Copy !req
502. - Where is everyone?
- Hey, let's do this again next year.Copy !req
503. I'm going to bed.Copy !req
504. I love Halloween.Copy !req