1. I need to get as far away
from Los Angeles as possible.Copy !req
2. The handy ticketing screens are behind you
and will provide all the answers you need.Copy !req
3. - Can't you just help me?
- Screen has all the answers.Copy !req
4. I could really use
some personal attention right now.Copy !req
5. - Where did you want to go?
- I need to leave tonight. Anywhere.Copy !req
6. Uh, okay. Hanoi?Copy !req
7. Vietnam! Yes, perfect!
Thank you!Copy !req
8. - Sh-should I punch it into that screen?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
9. And say nice things about me.
That screen's my supervisor.Copy !req
10. - I'm Peter Sagal. Don't wait, wait.Copy !req
11. - Do answer your phone.
- Stefani?Copy !req
12. Hey, girl! Just checking up on that
clickable content you were working on.Copy !req
13. Listen, something came up, and I—
Where are you?Copy !req
14. I'm doing a new, fully immersive,
3-D spin class.Copy !req
15. Oh, you know what?
I'm just biking.Copy !req
16. - Oh. Well, I just landed in Vietnam...Copy !req
17. - Where is my content, Diane?
- Um...Copy !req
18. I need words for my website.Copy !req
19. There are words on the website now,
but I need younger words,Copy !req
20. newer words, fresher words
to feed the insatiable beast!Copy !req
21. Okay, okay, I'll write something
while I'm here.Copy !req
22. - Love it! Feed that beast, girl! Bye!Copy !req
23. Number one: To reconnect
with your ancestral roots.Copy !req
24. As a born and raised American,Copy !req
25. you never felt much connection
to your Vietnamese heritage,Copy !req
26. and your parents offered little
to fill in the blanks.Copy !req
27. G'aw! You call that a fastball?Copy !req
28. With an arm like that, you're gonna get
booted back to Triple-A, you skeezer!Copy !req
29. - Dad, where are we from?
- We're from Boston, dummy!Copy !req
30. Why do you think I talk
in this accurate, regional dialect?Copy !req
31. I know that, but, I mean,
what is our background?Copy !req
32. Why do I look different
from the other kids?Copy !req
33. Ah, shove it up your rear, you jack-off.Copy !req
34. You're just the same as anybody else,
and don't let nobody tell you different.Copy !req
35. I just thought you could give me
a little cultural context,Copy !req
36. what with you being a tenured professor
of Vietnamese history at Tufts and all.Copy !req
37. Christ, Deedee, that's my job.Copy !req
38. I wouldn't ask you to have a period
on your day off.Copy !req
39. What? Dad, it— Okay.Copy !req
40. But you're here, finally.Copy !req
41. And it's comforting
to see your name everywhereCopy !req
42. and so many faces,
that look like your face.Copy !req
43. - Ah! Oh.Copy !req
44. - Sorry, I don't— I don't speak...Copy !req
45. - I don't... I don't understand you.Copy !req
46. Oh, is this who you were looking for?Copy !req
47. - Ouch!Copy !req
48. I'm sorry.Copy !req
49. It's more foreign
than you expected, but that's good.Copy !req
50. You want to truly immerse yourself
and get the full non-LA experience.Copy !req
51. - Ooh!Copy !req
52. Because sometimes, to find yourself,Copy !req
53. you need to get as far away
from the world you know—Copy !req
54. - Coming through! Hot set!
- Ah! Ah!Copy !req
55. Movie lingo!Copy !req
56. - What's going on here?
- Oh, isn't it exciting?Copy !req
57. Some American filmmakers are shooting
a movie, starring Laura Linney!Copy !req
58. It's about a recently-divorced woman
who comes to Vietnam to find herself.Copy !req
59. You came here
to reconnect with your roots,Copy !req
60. but now you feel stupid
for even thinking that was possible.Copy !req
61. You put on the clothing you bought,
and... it... feels like a costume.Copy !req
62. This is not your home.
You're a tourist here.Copy !req
63. Reason number two:
you can be a tourist here!Copy !req
64. Can I have number two?Copy !req
65. - Number two?
- Ah. Yes.Copy !req
66. Number two.Copy !req
67. Thank you.Copy !req
68. Thank you.Copy !req
69. Sometimes,
it's just nice to take a vacationCopy !req
70. and forget
about everything you left behind...Copy !req
71. - I'm Peter Sagal. Don't wait, wait.Copy !req
72. - Hello?Copy !req
73. - Diane!
- Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
74. Are you okay?
You left my party without saying goodbye.Copy !req
75. I was like,
"Uh-oh, what happened to Diane?"Copy !req
76. - Well—
- Then I got distractedCopy !req
77. because Todd got his tongue stuck
to the ice sculpture.Copy !req
78. By the time we got him off,Copy !req
79. his tongue was completely numb,
which made him talk real funny.Copy !req
80. - Mm-hmm.
- Well, that got him in quite the situationCopy !req
81. when the mob boss, at the roller rink,Copy !req
82. thought he was making fun
of his deaf sister.Copy !req
83. I'm sorry,
this is turning into a Todd story.Copy !req
84. The point is, are you okay?Copy !req
85. Oh, yeah, sorry.Copy !req
86. I just had a plane to catch,
so... I'm in Vietnam now...Copy !req
87. - Whoa.
- ... but... I'll be back soon.Copy !req
88. - Let me fetch you from the airport.Copy !req
89. Oh, that's okay.
You don't want to deal with the traffic.Copy !req
90. You know I love traffic.Copy !req
91. I get to catch up on all those hilarious
license plates I haven't read yet.Copy !req
92. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
93. Great. Hey, I have to tell you...Copy !req
94. I'm glad, I'm not still paying
your phone billCopy !req
95. because this call
must be costing a fortune!Copy !req
96. Unless you remembered to call Ed
for the international plan.Copy !req
97. Of course I remembered to do that!
But I have to hang up now.Copy !req
98. Our conversation has reached
a natural conclusion, goodbye.Copy !req
99. - Ugh.Copy !req
100. Number three:
because you're single nowCopy !req
101. and you can do whatever you want.Copy !req
102. Isn't it great being single?Copy !req
103. It sure is!Copy !req
104. I love that we're mature enough
to still be in each other's lives.Copy !req
105. I know!Copy !req
106. Other divorced couples can't handle it,
but we're handling it, so well,Copy !req
107. because we are better than them.Copy !req
108. Are we the best divorced couple?Copy !req
109. - I think we might be.
- Yeah.Copy !req
110. How are you doing
with those divorce papers?Copy !req
111. - It's been several weeks now— Aah!
- Hi, folks! I'm Pickles.Copy !req
112. - Ooh!
- Have you dined with us before?Copy !req
113. - Yes.
- Well...Copy !req
114. the way it works around here is:
you look at a menu,Copy !req
115. pick what you want, I'll bring it to you,
and then you pay at the end.Copy !req
116. So, like, a restaurant.Copy !req
117. - Ooh, sounds great.
- Can I get you started with drinks?Copy !req
118. Water would be great.Copy !req
119. - Oh, my God, I love water.
- Me, too!Copy !req
120. - Uh-huh.
- I'm 70 percent water!Copy !req
121. - Okay.
- Me, too! What are the odds?Copy !req
122. So, two waters. Thank you.Copy !req
123. So... Mr. Peanutbutter,
the divorce papers.Copy !req
124. - We need to— Aah!
- It's me again, the same dog as before.Copy !req
125. - Do you know what you'd like to order?
- Are you bringing our waters?Copy !req
126. - No. I forgot. Food, though?
- Hmm, what do you like here?Copy !req
127. - No, why would you ask—
- Oh, I like everything.Copy !req
128. In fact, at the end of my shift,
I usually take everyone's leftover scrapsCopy !req
129. and put it in a trough and eat it up.
Miam, miam, miam, miam!Copy !req
130. - But don't mention that to my boss.
- We won't.Copy !req
131. But that does sound eclectic
and delectable.Copy !req
132. The trough of everything.Copy !req
133. - Okay, and—
- Whoa, somebody's not hungry at all.Copy !req
134. - No, I am! I'm very hungry!Copy !req
135. And I'll have the Cobb salad!Copy !req
136. - Why do you keep humoring her?
- She's fun.Copy !req
137. You know, if we were still married,Copy !req
138. this would probably be enough
to spiral us off into a big argument,Copy !req
139. that isn't even about the waitress,
and we would fight all night.Copy !req
140. But since we're not married,
I can just be like, whatever.Copy !req
141. - This is truly great.
- So... great.Copy !req
142. We are doing so great.Copy !req
143. Although...Copy !req
144. I do get lonely sometimes
in that big house all by myself.Copy !req
145. Hey, why don't you have
a housewarming party?Copy !req
146. - Eh...
- Yeah!Copy !req
147. Now that you don't have a mean wife
who hates parties...Copy !req
148. He-he, you can finally live it up.Copy !req
149. Okay, but only if you come.
Promise?Copy !req
150. I'll come if you have
those divorce papers.Copy !req
151. - Aah!
- Me again.Copy !req
152. What did you order?
I didn't write it down.Copy !req
153. - The trough!
- Oh!Copy !req
154. He wants the trough!Copy !req
155. Uh, xin... loi.
Do you speak any English?Copy !req
156. We... are... lost.Copy !req
157. I actually speak all of the English.Copy !req
158. - Oh! Your English... is very good.
- I... am... American.Copy !req
159. Yes. American.
We... are... from... America.Copy !req
160. I... am... from America.Copy !req
161. No. Me America. You Vietnam.Copy !req
162. No. Me America.Copy !req
163. - Me America!
- Me America, too.Copy !req
164. Me am also America.Copy !req
165. Number four:
To meet new people!Copy !req
166. - Hell-oh, uh, I am with the movie.Copy !req
167. No Vietnamese, but I want a drink.Copy !req
168. Beer?Copy !req
169. Glug-glug?Copy !req
170. Number five:
Get out of your natural habitat.Copy !req
171. We all work so hard
to cultivate our homes,Copy !req
172. but what are they other than a place
to repeat negative patterns?Copy !req
173. There. Last one.Copy !req
174. And the first one.Copy !req
175. I moved all this other stuff in
while you were... stretching.Copy !req
176. So much for helping.Copy !req
177. Oh, did you need help deciding
whether or not this place is a shithole?Copy !req
178. Because help is on the way.Copy !req
179. - It's a shithole.
- I like it.Copy !req
180. It's what I can afford and it makes me
feel good to do it on my own.Copy !req
181. When this place makes you too sad,
you can always come over.Copy !req
182. You'll have to say, "I'm a sad, sad girl
with a terrible, dirty apartment,"Copy !req
183. - but I'll let you crash.
- This is my home and I am proud of it.Copy !req
184. - Where did you get all this junk?
- It's not junk!Copy !req
185. I just emptied out my storage unit.Copy !req
186. This is the stuff that cool,
20-something Diane had to put awayCopy !req
187. when she moved in
with old man Peanutbutter.Copy !req
188. Oh, can we finally talk shit
about Mr. Peanutbutter?Copy !req
189. Like how he has dog breath
and leaves his hair all over,Copy !req
190. or is this one of those scam jobs
where I talk shitCopy !req
191. and you nod along,
then you two get back togetherCopy !req
192. and you hate me
because I told you how I felt?Copy !req
193. When have you not told me how you felt?
All you do is tell me how you really feel.Copy !req
194. This place smells weird.
I want to go home.Copy !req
195. - I don't tell you everything.
- You do.Copy !req
196. There's literally nothing
you haven't told me.Copy !req
197. Well, did I tell you
this place smells weird?Copy !req
198. Yes. Help me move this couch.Copy !req
199. Okay, you get started.
I'm gonna stretch first.Copy !req
200. Anyway, Mr. Peanutbutter
and I are still good friends.Copy !req
201. Get the hammies.Copy !req
202. I'm going to his housewarming party
on Saturday. You should come.Copy !req
203. "Come with?"Copy !req
204. Diane, just because you have the couch
of a girl in her 20sCopy !req
205. does not mean that you are young enough
to say "come with."Copy !req
206. There.Copy !req
207. - Yeesh.Copy !req
208. I love it! This is my life now.Copy !req
209. - What's going on?
- Oh, hi, Diane.Copy !req
210. Some cockroaches in IT tried to unionize,Copy !req
211. so I just called an exterminator.Copy !req
212. - What?
- Oh. Sorry, I meant negotiator.Copy !req
213. Wait, no. Who did I call?Copy !req
214. Anyway, we're gonna have to tent
this place for the next month.Copy !req
215. Can you work from home till then?Copy !req
216. I need that listicleCopy !req
217. on five empowering roles
for women over 40,Copy !req
218. that would be better played
by Jennifer Lawrence.Copy !req
219. - What was that?Copy !req
220. Oh, negotiations. Bye!Copy !req
221. Number six:
To turn your work into a "work-cation."Copy !req
222. In this new era of connectivity,
working outsideCopy !req
223. of the traditional workspace
can ignite creativity...Copy !req
224. - Ew!Copy !req
225. Uh?Copy !req
226. I'm a sad, sad girl
with a terrible, dirty apartment.Copy !req
227. Come on in.Copy !req
228. Okay, one more glass,
and then I'm gonna head home.Copy !req
229. Why don't you take the guest room?
I could make urine stains on the carpetCopy !req
230. and string up police tape
so it feels more like home for you.Copy !req
231. Thank you,
but I'm excited to be on my own.Copy !req
232. I can do whatever I want.Copy !req
233. I can pick up in the middle of the night
and go to Disney World, or... Vietnam.Copy !req
234. Do you mean literally Vietnam
or like when Old Navy told meCopy !req
235. they were looking for a fresher face
for their Performance Fleece commercialsCopy !req
236. - and they ended up with Sherman Hemsley?
- What?Copy !req
237. - That was my Vietnam.Copy !req
238. I just mean I can finally do the things
I've always wanted.Copy !req
239. - I'm in a really good place.
- Awesome!Copy !req
240. A really good place.Copy !req
241. That's the thing
people don't understand about me.Copy !req
242. I'm also in a good place.Copy !req
243. I got this new job coming up,Copy !req
244. so I'm gonna fly right, be tight,
and sober up real good.Copy !req
245. I'm working out a system
so I only drink a little each day.Copy !req
246. Mm...Copy !req
247. - It's my cheat day.Copy !req
248. Isn't it weird that this is the first time
we're both been single at the same time?Copy !req
249. Yeah. Why is it weird?Copy !req
250. I mean, I know why I think it's weird,
but you say a first thing.Copy !req
251. It's just, uh...Copy !req
252. Come on, you know why.Copy !req
253. It's just weird.
Like, we could totally make out right now.Copy !req
254. - What?
- No, I'm not saying we should. No. Pfft!Copy !req
255. No. I'm just saying we could,
and that's weird. I'm saying it's weird.Copy !req
256. Oh. Uh, I guess so.Copy !req
257. Not that I would.
Oh, my God, that's so gross.Copy !req
258. - You're gross.
- You're being mean.Copy !req
259. I'm allowed to be mean.
I'm getting a divorce.Copy !req
260. Okay, you get two more "divorce means,"
but then that's it.Copy !req
261. I'm cutting you off.Copy !req
262. Maybe I should go.Copy !req
263. You sure you don't want to stay...
in the guest room?Copy !req
264. No. No, 'cause then
that means I'm staying here.Copy !req
265. And I cannot stay here again,
not after last time.Copy !req
266. - What do you mean? That was fun.
- Was not.Copy !req
267. I was a mess.Copy !req
268. And then you left me in charge of things
and then went who knows where. Michigan?Copy !req
269. No, uh, no.
That time I ended up in New Mexico.Copy !req
270. I stayed with this family,
got close with the daughter, but, um...Copy !req
271. Luckily, it worked out all fine.Copy !req
272. No, and I-I got a boat,
I came back, end of story.Copy !req
273. Okay, buddy.Copy !req
274. Hey, Diane, can I ask you a—Copy !req
275. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
276. Oooooooh...Copy !req
277. - Oh...Copy !req
278. Reason number seven
to go to Vietnam:Copy !req
279. Your therapist tells you to.Copy !req
280. Have you thought about going away
for a little bit?Copy !req
281. I don't need to go away. I'm good.Copy !req
282. I have this clientCopy !req
283. who went through
a surprisingly tough second divorce.Copy !req
284. Let's just call her "Demi M."Copy !req
285. And let's say that her first husband
was called "Bruce."Copy !req
286. Talking about Demi Moore?Copy !req
287. You know I can't divulge personal
information about my other clients, Diane.Copy !req
288. I'll ask you to be respectful.Copy !req
289. - But she and her second husband...
- Ashton.Copy !req
290. I cannot say, went on a trip,Copy !req
291. and getting out of her routine allowed her
to process things more honestly.Copy !req
292. I just feel, like,
I see myself very clearly already.Copy !req
293. And what I see is that I am happy
with my decision.Copy !req
294. Mm-hmm. Another client of mine,
Angelina J,Copy !req
295. who has a lot of adopted kids—Copy !req
296. Is she an actress?Copy !req
297. As a matter of fact, no.Copy !req
298. She thinks of herself as a director.Copy !req
299. Wait a minute, do you talk about me
in your sessions with other clients?Copy !req
300. Oh, honey!Copy !req
301. No.Copy !req
302. I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm trying to get a beer.Copy !req
303. Can you help me?Copy !req
304. Ah?Copy !req
305. Oh, my goodness.
Thank you.Copy !req
306. Ah!Copy !req
307. I know you can't really understand me,
but I'm a nice American dude.Copy !req
308. A good guy.Copy !req
309. Would you want to go for a walk
to the markets?Copy !req
310. I feel totally lost out thereCopy !req
311. and I could really use a local
to help show me around.Copy !req
312. Ah?Copy !req
313. All right!Copy !req
314. Reason number eight:
To discover a new you.Copy !req
315. You let a handsome stranger follow you
through the markets of Hanoi.Copy !req
316. And the smells, sounds, and tastes
transport you to another reality.Copy !req
317. He tells you stories,
he thinks you can't understand,Copy !req
318. about his life in America,Copy !req
319. and it's freeing to be this person
he thinks you are,Copy !req
320. this person who isn't bound
by her own history or sadness.Copy !req
321. This is a person who could do
whatever she wants.Copy !req
322. Mm!Copy !req
323. Wow!Copy !req
324. I know this is crazy, but...Copy !req
325. even though you can't understand
a word I'm saying,Copy !req
326. I feel like we have a real connection.Copy !req
327. I want to show you something.Copy !req
328. Oh!Copy !req
329. This... is Ha Long Bay.Copy !req
330. It's where Laura Linney comes
to find herself.Copy !req
331. I'll bet you've never been
on a movie set before, huh?Copy !req
332. I'm a grip. The executive grip.
I basically run things here.Copy !req
333. It's so cool to see my job
through your eyes.Copy !req
334. - Ah!
- Holy shit, a falling klieg light!Copy !req
335. Sorry!Copy !req
336. - Uh, can you speak English?Copy !req
337. No... I just heard someone say
that sentence in an American movie once.Copy !req
338. Also that sentence.Copy !req
339. - Also, yes, I speak English.
- What?Copy !req
340. - I'm from LA.
- So what?Copy !req
341. You were just pretending this whole time?Copy !req
342. I was actually feeling
something special here.Copy !req
343. Really? It didn't strike you as weird
that you talked for two hours straightCopy !req
344. and I said nothing?Copy !req
345. Or is that what felt special?Copy !req
346. I am not the bad guy here.
You're a liar!Copy !req
347. Okay, and you got to have
your little Miss Saigon cosplay,Copy !req
348. so why don't we call it a draw?Copy !req
349. - Get off my set!
- Your set?Copy !req
350. Nice try, buddy. I know what a grip does.
At best, you're the best boy... at best.Copy !req
351. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
352. Why does this happen to me
every time I go on location?Copy !req
353. Ugh!Copy !req
354. Reason number nine
to go to Vietnam:Copy !req
355. Because it's good
to get out of your routine.Copy !req
356. Is that similar to reason number five:
get out of your natural habitat?Copy !req
357. No, it's a different thing. It's fine.Copy !req
358. - It's whatever.Copy !req
359. Ooh, hey. What are you doing here?Copy !req
360. We're going to the party, remember?
You told me to "come with."Copy !req
361. - Why do you look so different?
- Do you like it?Copy !req
362. It's a whole new, fun me.Copy !req
363. My therapist thought I needed to get out
of my routine. I mean, I thought it, too.Copy !req
364. It was mostly me who thought it,
but my therapist also...Copy !req
365. - Ta da!
- Did you get a longer neck or something?Copy !req
366. I did not get a longer neck.
It's a haircut.Copy !req
367. - Does it make my neck look long?
- No.Copy !req
368. Uh, you actually look amazing.Copy !req
369. Don't try to take advantage
just 'cause I'm all vulnerable right now.Copy !req
370. Jesus, lady!
I'm just trying to give you a compliment!Copy !req
371. - Relax, I was joking.
- Were you?Copy !req
372. Let's just go to the party.
- God, you're all over the place.Copy !req
373. - You hate parties.
- I don't hate parties.Copy !req
374. - You hate parties. I'm fun.
- Okay, you know what? Forget this.Copy !req
375. - I'm sorry. BoJack...
- Hey.Copy !req
376. Your haircut looks great.
Mr. Peanutbutter's gonna love it.Copy !req
377. - Hey, Diane!
- Hey.Copy !req
378. - I love what you did to your neck.
- I didn't—Copy !req
379. Did you see that ice sculpture?Copy !req
380. I am definitely not going to lick it.
Don't worry.Copy !req
381. Okay.Copy !req
382. Anyway, I can't stay longCopy !req
383. because I'm supposed to go
to the roller rink later.Copy !req
384. - Uh-huh.
- I hope, there won't beCopy !req
385. - any mob bosses there.
- Well—Copy !req
386. What am I saying? That's so random.Copy !req
387. - Have you seen Mr. Peanutbutter?
- I don't know. Did you check the library?Copy !req
388. - Ugh.
- 'Kay, I gotta go.Copy !req
389. There's a letter I wanna send.
I need to lick the stamp.Copy !req
390. Hopefully, I'll remember to do itCopy !req
391. - before I put my roller skates on...
- Okay.Copy !req
392. so I don't accidentally miss the stamp
with my tongueCopy !req
393. and then roll down the stairs
with my tongue outCopy !req
394. and then smack right into
the ice sculpture with my tongue.Copy !req
395. That would be pretty bad,
but I wouldn't put it past me.Copy !req
396. Who are all these people?Copy !req
397. - Mr. Peanutbutter. There you are!
- Diane, nice haircut!Copy !req
398. - Oh, this? No, I didn't—
- Yeah!Copy !req
399. It really brings out the neck
of your... neck.Copy !req
400. Okay, well, that's—Copy !req
401. Hey, don't go anywhere, okay?
I want to talk to you.Copy !req
402. - Oh. How was—
- Erica!Copy !req
403. What are you doing here
with a child-sized coffin?Copy !req
404. Oh, my God, are you okay?
I saw everything.Copy !req
405. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
406. I can't pick sides in this divorceCopy !req
407. because I'm good friends
with the both of you,Copy !req
408. but I want you to know, no matter what,
I'm here for you and also there for him.Copy !req
409. And if you ever need anything,
just let me knowCopy !req
410. and I'll be your rock,
as long as it doesn't conflict with meCopy !req
411. also being Mr. Peanutbutter's rock,
or my work,Copy !req
412. which is keeping me very busy.Copy !req
413. Excuse me, I have to take this.Copy !req
414. Hi, Flip? Yeah, are we sure
we need this strip club set?Copy !req
415. Because once we put the deposit down,
we cannot get that money back.Copy !req
416. Reason number ten
to go to Vietnam:Copy !req
417. Because you've gotta leave
to come back home.Copy !req
418. Hello?
- Hey.Copy !req
419. - Hey.Copy !req
420. I'm sorry. I've been so weird.
I'm going through some shit.Copy !req
421. I know.Copy !req
422. Yeah. And I just really need
a friend right now.Copy !req
423. You know what I mean?Copy !req
424. A friend?Copy !req
425. Yeah. I get it.Copy !req
426. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
427. - This is Diane, by the way.
- Nguyen?Copy !req
428. - Yeah. Nguyen.Copy !req
429. You're not entirely sure
what life will be like when you get home,Copy !req
430. but maybe that's good
because that means anything could happen.Copy !req
431. - Oh, my God, you're Laura Linney!
- People say that to me all the time.Copy !req
432. And it's true.
I am Laura Linney.Copy !req
433. I'm so sorry to bother you,
but I have to ask,Copy !req
434. the movie you were filming,
what happens at the end?Copy !req
435. You get divorced, you go to Vietnam
to find yourself, but then what?Copy !req
436. How does it work out?Copy !req
437. - Well, I do find myself.
- Oh.Copy !req
438. - My clone.
- Oh.Copy !req
439. - And she's shacked up with my ex.
- Hmm?Copy !req
440. I fly into a jealous rage
and gut him with a machete,Copy !req
441. but not before realizing
that this whole thingCopy !req
442. goes all the way to the top.Copy !req
443. So me and my clone have to team up
and head to Dubai.Copy !req
444. A lot of it is setting up the franchise.
You know how it is.Copy !req
445. - Um... it's an action movie?
- And a love story.Copy !req
446. Me and my clone
have a steamy make-out scene,Copy !req
447. - which is hot but also very progressive.Copy !req
448. Excuse me. Can I get some pretzels?
I'm Laura Linney.Copy !req
449. But none of those reasons
are why you actually went to Vietnam.Copy !req
450. Hey, stranger.Copy !req
451. Yeah, so, if it all looks good to you
and your lawyer,Copy !req
452. you can sign it, too,
and then it'll be official.Copy !req
453. - Divorce completed.
- Yay!Copy !req
454. - We did it.
- Take that, our marriage!Copy !req
455. - Well, I guess I'll see you around?
- Yeah.Copy !req
456. - Oh! I was going for the—
- Oh, sorry. Did you—?Copy !req
457. - Sorry. Just go all the way.Copy !req
458. - Well, bye.
- Cool.Copy !req
459. Diane, wait.
I actually have something to tell you.Copy !req
460. I... don't know the best way
to say this, but...Copy !req
461. I'm seeing someone.Copy !req
462. Romantically.Copy !req
463. Who isn't you.Copy !req
464. That was probably
not the best way to say it.Copy !req
465. So, as I was saying,Copy !req
466. being there for you right now
is my top pri—Copy !req
467. - [phone vibrates, beeps]
- Oh. Hold on. Stuart!Copy !req
468. There's a fire extinguisher under my desk.
Oh, that's what's on fire? In that case...Copy !req
469. The real reason
you go to VietnamCopy !req
470. is because you accidentally see
your soon-to-be ex-husbandCopy !req
471. kiss someone else.Copy !req
472. At first you think, "Oh, it's a fling.
Whatever, they're drunk, it's a party."Copy !req
473. But he puts his hand
on the small of her backCopy !req
474. exactly the way he used to do to you.Copy !req
475. Mmm.Copy !req
476. - It means "I've got you,"Copy !req
477. and when he did it to you,
it made you feel safe.Copy !req
478. And you realize
he will never do that to you again.Copy !req
479. - And it breaks your heart, again...Copy !req
480. after your heart was so broken
that you thoughtCopy !req
481. it could never get any more broken.Copy !req
482. You thought it was safe,Copy !req
483. but it still, somehow,
finds a new way to break.Copy !req
484. Because, even though,
you're the one who asked for this,Copy !req
485. now that you've got it,
you are completely adriftCopy !req
486. with no compass, or map,
or sense of where to go, or what to do.Copy !req
487. So you go to Vietnam.Copy !req
488. You think you might find community,
a connection to something bigger,Copy !req
489. but... you don't.Copy !req
490. In fact, you feel even more alone
than you were before you left.Copy !req
491. But... you survive.Copy !req
492. You learn that you can survive
being alone.Copy !req
493. I'm really happy for you,
Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req