1. Oh, no. No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
2. Sorry to interrupt your lunch,
but there was another mass shooting.Copy !req
3. Oh, God, where?Copy !req
4. A town outside Tampa called—Copy !req
5. Not geographically, dipshit.
What's the location?Copy !req
6. What is it, a pharmacy? A haberdashery?Copy !req
7. - It was a shopping mall.
- No!Copy !req
8. - Ms. Taken is coming out next month.
- I know, sir.Copy !req
9. The whole third act
revolves around Courtney PortnoyCopy !req
10. shooting people in a mall.Copy !req
11. What are we supposed to do now,
not release the movie?Copy !req
12. I hope it doesn't come to that.Copy !req
13. I am sick and tired
of real-life gun violenceCopy !req
14. getting in the way of us telling stories
that glamorize gun violence.Copy !req
15. Why does this keep happening?
Has the whole world gone crazy?Copy !req
16. No, we've just been conditioned
by a rugged individualist cultureCopy !req
17. woven into the savage architecture
of our country itself,Copy !req
18. birthed as it was
through violent uprising,Copy !req
19. but perhaps popularized
in the modern imagination by stories of—Copy !req
20. Okay, Chomsky, when I want you to talk,Copy !req
21. I'll staple a string to your back
and then yank it.Copy !req
22. Why not make yourself usefulCopy !req
23. and schedule a sit-down
with Courtney Portnoy's teamCopy !req
24. to talk about how we distance ourselves
from this fakakte mishegoss.Copy !req
25. Got it.
Except for the foccacia Michigan part.Copy !req
26. Excuse me, could you point me
in the direction of an H&M?Copy !req
27. Sure. But when you get there,
you're gonna be DOA.Copy !req
28. Uh-uh. You picked the wrong shopaholic
to mess with.Copy !req
29. Because this shopaholic's
also a holic for revenge.Copy !req
30. Die, scum!Copy !req
31. Courtney Portnoy-vey.Copy !req
32. - Wow. Carla Mercedes Benzbrown.
- Yep.Copy !req
33. - My mother.
- That's right.Copy !req
34. - I lied!
- What?Copy !req
35. There's no Carla Mercedes Benzbrown.Copy !req
36. - I have no idea who your mother is.
- What?Copy !req
37. I don't want to have a relationship
lying to each other.Copy !req
38. Okay, so why did you lie to me?Copy !req
39. I meant everything else I said.Copy !req
40. I'll do everything I can
to help find your mom.Copy !req
41. To be honest, moms aren't all that great.Copy !req
42. In fact, in my experience,
they're soulless succubiCopy !req
43. born fully formed from the ass of Satan.Copy !req
44. Oh, my grandmother
sounds like quite a character.Copy !req
45. - Can I meet her?
- Oh, my mom?Copy !req
46. No, you cannot meet my mom
because she's... dead.Copy !req
47. - Oh.
- Dead mom.Copy !req
48. BoJack, what happened
to the fudgesicles I bought?Copy !req
49. - I lied again. My mom's not dead.
- Stop lying to me!Copy !req
50. That was, like, 15 minutes of lie.
Plus, you don't want to meet my mom.Copy !req
51. I do. Where does she live?Copy !req
52. Oh, this spectacular elder care facility,Copy !req
53. she has her own private room
with a nice view,Copy !req
54. 'round-the-clock medical care,Copy !req
55. and plenty of other seniors
to say casually cruel things toCopy !req
56. under a passive-aggressive veil
of plausible deniability.Copy !req
57. What's this place called?Copy !req
58. I want to say Whispering Pines.
Whistling Pines?Copy !req
59. Unbelievable.Copy !req
60. Something with a W. Winter's Bone?Copy !req
61. - Take me there.
- Fine!Copy !req
62. - For real this time?
- Yes. I promise.Copy !req
63. I am not gonna lie to you ever again.Copy !req
64. - Did you eat the last fudgesicle?
- No.Copy !req
65. I lied. I lied about the fudgesicle.Copy !req
66. All this time you thought
I was just another damsel in distress,Copy !req
67. but I'm afraid you were mis... guided.Copy !req
68. Oh... oh.Copy !req
69. - That is not good.
- Okay.Copy !req
70. Everybody set a Google Alert
for "mass shooting."Copy !req
71. Can't keep getting caught
off guard.Copy !req
72. This is so sad.Copy !req
73. You always hear about mass shootings
affecting other people's movie openings,Copy !req
74. but you never think they're gonna
affect your movie opening.Copy !req
75. My thoughts and prayers
to the victims and their families.Copy !req
76. - Of course. Yeah, thoughts and prayers.
- Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
77. Tragedy like this
really puts things in perspective.Copy !req
78. Like, what are we doing
sitting in a conference room?Copy !req
79. Life is short. We should have
this meeting at a water park.Copy !req
80. Whoa! A water park
where people have meetings.Copy !req
81. - Maybe that's the movie.
- I'm sorry, who is this schmuck?Copy !req
82. I'm Courtney's asexual fake fiancé.Copy !req
83. He's a common person/supermodel,Copy !req
84. being engaged to him makes me appear
more approachable/glamorous.Copy !req
85. Okay-slash-whatever. We still have time
to cut the mall shootout from the film.Copy !req
86. That still leaves
the movie theater shootout,Copy !req
87. the shootout at the county fair, the—Copy !req
88. We should probably lose
the movie theater shootout.Copy !req
89. Right. Well, we still have
the county fair shootout.Copy !req
90. Oh, dear.Copy !req
91. - This is a sad day.
- What?Copy !req
92. I gotta take this.Copy !req
93. - BoJack?
- Hi.Copy !req
94. - Where have you been?
- Listen.Copy !req
95. I'm sorry.
I was an awful boyfriend to you.Copy !req
96. I was an awful client,
and I was an awful friend.Copy !req
97. This last year I spent some time awayCopy !req
98. and it made me realize
how special the people in my life are.Copy !req
99. And you might be
the most special of them all.Copy !req
100. Wow, BoJack.Copy !req
101. I— I appreciate that.Copy !req
102. Anyway, the real reason I'm calling is,Copy !req
103. do you remember the name
of that super nice elder care facilityCopy !req
104. that we both agreed was the best place
for my mom to run out the clock?Copy !req
105. Oh, pluck a duck.
It's called Walnut Springs.Copy !req
106. Walnut Springs!
I knew there was a W in there. Bye!Copy !req
107. What?Copy !req
108. I feel like I didn't strike the right tone
in the last phone call.Copy !req
109. I really am sorry,
and the most important thing is,Copy !req
110. you know how dedicated I am
to making things right again.Copy !req
111. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
112. Anyway, the real reason I'm calling is,Copy !req
113. turns out there's a few Walnut Springses
in the SoCal area.Copy !req
114. It's the one in Santa Barbara, dummy!Copy !req
115. - Yeesh! Cranky much? Who died?
- A lotta people!Copy !req
116. Sorry, what did I miss?Copy !req
117. Courtney's beloved was outlining his plan
to curtail gun violence.Copy !req
118. I'm just saying,
if people have the right pumped-up kicks,Copy !req
119. maybe they can outrun the bullets.Copy !req
120. All this talk of gun violence
is depressing.Copy !req
121. - Ms. Taken is a movie about empowerment.
- That's what I've been saying!Copy !req
122. It's Bridget Jones
with slightly more bloody murdering.Copy !req
123. We just have to keep the story
on Courtney,Copy !req
124. and not on the depressingly
unstoppable riseCopy !req
125. of real-life gun violence in this country,
thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
126. - Thoughts and prayers.
- Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
127. Oh.Copy !req
128. The House Majority Whip
outlined a new bipartisan planCopy !req
129. to encourage you
to answer your ringing phone.Copy !req
130. For Thursday, October 12,
this is All Rings Considered.Copy !req
131. - I'm Robert Siegel.
- And I'm Audie Cornish.Copy !req
132. The proposed bill would take effect
when someone tries to call youCopy !req
133. and you hear this ringtone.Copy !req
134. - Hello?
- Diane!Copy !req
135. I got an exclusive for you.Copy !req
136. You are going to write a glowing feature
about my client and her new movie.Copy !req
137. - Why would I...
- You know Courtney Portnoy.Copy !req
138. You probably recall when she soared
as the thorny horticulturistCopy !req
139. in One Sordid Fortnight
With the Short-Skirted Sorceress.Copy !req
140. - Uh...
- How would you enjoy joining PortnoyCopy !req
141. for a scorched soy porterhouse pork
four-courser at Koi?Copy !req
142. - Wait, what?
- Glorify your source,Copy !req
143. but don't make it feel forced, of course,
and try the borscht. Smooches!Copy !req
144. - Hey—
- And that's how you do it, folks.Copy !req
145. Oh...Copy !req
146. You're telling me
you didn't feel one twinge of guiltCopy !req
147. when you left your mom in this place?Copy !req
148. Uh... twinge of guilt, twinge of guilt,
trying to remember, no.Copy !req
149. - Definitely not.
- Damn.Copy !req
150. You didn't know my mom.Copy !req
151. Football?
You don't have the haunches for it.Copy !req
152. You'll only embarrass yourself,
as in every other endeavor you pursue.Copy !req
153. - But, Mom...
- If you're looking to get knocked aroundCopy !req
154. for an afternoon, why don't you just read
one of your father's manuscriptsCopy !req
155. and tell him his prose
is pedestrian and derivative?Copy !req
156. Works for me every time.Copy !req
157. Mrs. Horseman, you have a visitor.Copy !req
158. Oh, uh...Copy !req
159. - Hi, Mom.
- Do I know you?Copy !req
160. Here we go.
Yes, Mom, I never visit. You got me.Copy !req
161. - Henrietta?
- Okay, we're doing this?Copy !req
162. I think she really doesn't know
who you are.Copy !req
163. She knows.
This is just like when she pretendedCopy !req
164. not to recognize me
after my shaky choir solo in eighth grade.Copy !req
165. I had to get a ride home with the pianistCopy !req
166. who liked to tickle a lot more
than just the ivories.Copy !req
167. When I made it home unscathed, she said,
"Huh. I guess no one wants you."Copy !req
168. Henrietta, could I trouble you
for some orange juice, please?Copy !req
169. Stop calling me Henrietta!
Nobody here's named Henrietta!Copy !req
170. Henrietta, orange juice. Now!Copy !req
171. You're not being paid
for polite conversation.Copy !req
172. - BoJack, maybe you should just—
- Oh, hello! It's you.Copy !req
173. Hollyhock.Copy !req
174. I must apologize for Henrietta.
She learned to read on secondhand books.Copy !req
175. Mom, do you really not know who I am?
Me, famous BoJack?Copy !req
176. If you are getting orange juice,
I'd love a glass too.Copy !req
177. Oh. Uh, okay.Copy !req
178. So you see
I'm really quite ordinary and relatable.Copy !req
179. Yeah, you put your pants on
one leg at a time.Copy !req
180. Well, I step into my pants
one leg at a time,Copy !req
181. then my trouser-maidens lift the legs
simultaneously to avoid wrinklage.Copy !req
182. Well, right, of course,
why else have trouser-maidens?Copy !req
183. - Hey. Konichiwa, Princess Mulan.
- Just leave us alone, okay?Copy !req
184. I was giving you a compliment.Copy !req
185. First, konichiwa is not a compliment,
it's Japanese for hello.Copy !req
186. Second, I'm not Japanese.Copy !req
187. Maybe I could put something
in that sweet mouth of yoursCopy !req
188. - so you don't have to talk so much.
- Whoa!Copy !req
189. One more step, asshole.Copy !req
190. - What...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
191. I was joking.
I don't want any trouble.Copy !req
192. - Tell your story walking.
- ... the...Copy !req
193. shit was that?Copy !req
194. I don't know! My instincts just kicked in.Copy !req
195. Why do you even have a gun?Copy !req
196. Well, using it in the movie
was so empowering,Copy !req
197. and now I just carry it everywhere.
Do you want to hold it?Copy !req
198. No, I am very anti-gun.Copy !req
199. In fact, I think the whole idea of guns
is inherently—Copy !req
200. Holy shit, I'm holding a gun.
How long has this been in my hand?Copy !req
201. - Slides right in, doesn't it?
- It actually feels kind of nice.Copy !req
202. Would you like to try shooting it?
We can go to my gun range.Copy !req
203. You have your own gun range?Copy !req
204. I'm Courtney Portnoy.
I have all the things.Copy !req
205. Whoa...Copy !req
206. I can't believe you came back.Copy !req
207. - Who, me? Or BoJack?
- You look just like him.Copy !req
208. People tell me that.Copy !req
209. Your mother's dementia
is progressing rapidly.Copy !req
210. - You came out of nowhere.
- Yes.Copy !req
211. I snuck up on you on purpose as a symbol
for the alarming creep of dementia.Copy !req
212. - It isn't there, until it is.
- Thank you, very colorful.Copy !req
213. We tried to call you,
but the number you gave usCopy !req
214. - connected to a sandwich shop in Temecula.
- Is that right?Copy !req
215. This is the most responsive
she's been in weeks.Copy !req
216. I think with regular visits
from you and your daughter—Copy !req
217. That's not happening.Copy !req
218. Seeing my mom
is like a Terrence Malick movie.Copy !req
219. Every ten years or so is bearable,Copy !req
220. but more than that
and it starts to get annoying.Copy !req
221. She won't last another ten years.Copy !req
222. - Well, I guess that's it, then. Bye, Mom!
- Huh?Copy !req
223. Come on, Hollyhock,
let's blow this Jell-O stand.Copy !req
224. We're gonna come back though, right?Copy !req
225. We can't just leave her like this.Copy !req
226. You can do anything
if you believe in yourself.Copy !req
227. - We have to come back.
- Henrietta?Copy !req
228. - Every week.
- Why?Copy !req
229. Because she's your mother
and dementia is hereditary.Copy !req
230. One day, you're gonna be
in a home like this, and so will I,Copy !req
231. and wouldn't you want
someone visiting you?Copy !req
232. Fine.
We'll come back. Happy?Copy !req
233. Where's my orange juice, slag?Copy !req
234. Ahhh!Copy !req
235. Ahhh!
See ya next week.Copy !req
236. - Hey, are we out of milk?
- I can pick up some after work.Copy !req
237. Great. Also, real quick follow-up,
why are you holding a gun?Copy !req
238. Oh, my God!Copy !req
239. Did I drive all the way home
without realizing I was holding a gun?Copy !req
240. No wonder that guy at the gas station
didn't charge me for the Red Vines.Copy !req
241. Did I rob a gas station?Copy !req
242. Classic Diane shenanigans.Copy !req
243. Or as I call them, "Diane-igans."
All right, be safe.Copy !req
244. Hmm.Copy !req
245. Let's get one thing
out of the way right now.Copy !req
246. If you're a man,
you're not gonna get it.Copy !req
247. Some of you think you get it.
You want to get it.Copy !req
248. You listen, nod
and say all the right thingsCopy !req
249. when we tell you our stories.Copy !req
250. But you still can't actually know
what it feels likeCopy !req
251. to constantly have your guard up.Copy !req
252. In parking garages,
walking the street, even at work.Copy !req
253. I'm tired of trying
to help men understandCopy !req
254. how it feels to be a woman.Copy !req
255. Starting now,
I'm doing what it takesCopy !req
256. to put the power in my own hands.Copy !req
257. That's why I own a gun.Copy !req
258. - That was our senior picnic.
- Oh.Copy !req
259. Oh, here I am. There's Polio Larry.Copy !req
260. Yup, she sure remembers
all the important people.Copy !req
261. - And who's this?
- That's my brother, Crackerjack.Copy !req
262. That's not Crackerjack, that's me.Copy !req
263. Thirty seconds
after that picture was takenCopy !req
264. you yelled at me
for getting ice cream on my shorts.Copy !req
265. No ice cream for me, Henrietta.
I'm watching my figure.Copy !req
266. Yeah, you want to look pretty
for when Death comes to visit.Copy !req
267. Beth? No.Copy !req
268. We stopped talking
after she wouldn't eat my casseroleCopy !req
269. and then I told the whole supper club
that her son was a gay.Copy !req
270. - Ooh.
- Okay. You two enjoy each other.Copy !req
271. I'm gonna go see
if I can seduce a lonely dowagerCopy !req
272. into giving me her night-night pills.Copy !req
273. Wow. Is this you?Copy !req
274. - This is me at my debutante ball.
- You were so beautiful.Copy !req
275. You could be thin, too.
Just go easy on the sweetsCopy !req
276. and when you go somewhere,
don't walk, gallop.Copy !req
277. Ice cold, Grammy-gram.Copy !req
278. Morning time, Hollywoo!Copy !req
279. I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type.Copy !req
280. And I'm A Billy Bush Type.Copy !req
281. Here's something
I'm just now reading on a cue card.Copy !req
282. All the ladies
are getting concealed carry permits.Copy !req
283. It's the newest thing.Copy !req
284. I wouldn't want to be around
one of those ladiesCopy !req
285. at a certain time of the month,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
286. I don't.Copy !req
287. Joking aside, I think it's great
these gals have a hobby.Copy !req
288. Oh, and I'm being told by our producers
that we have a breaking news alert—Copy !req
289. there has been another mass shooting.Copy !req
290. I am totally unqualified
to cover a news story this important.Copy !req
291. But as a straight white male,
I will plow forward with confidenceCopy !req
292. and assume I'm doing fine.Copy !req
293. Again with the crazy gunmen.Copy !req
294. Princess Carolyn, if this keeps up,Copy !req
295. we're gonna have to put this movie
on the shelfCopy !req
296. next to that wacky vacation comedy we did
about the klutzy babysitter.Copy !req
297. - Ha! That sounds hilarious!
- What the hell are you doing on this call?Copy !req
298. Imagining that funny movie
you just described.Copy !req
299. Okay, what do all these shootings
have in common?Copy !req
300. Guns? Bullets? Who are you,
Art Linkletter? Just spit it out.Copy !req
301. Men! What if we played up
the "Ms." in Ms. Taken?Copy !req
302. In a world of increasing terror,Copy !req
303. our movie tells women
they don't have to be afraid anymore.Copy !req
304. - Yeah, now you're talking.
- When you put it that way,Copy !req
305. it almost sounds like these mass shootings
could be a good thing for the movie.Copy !req
306. No, no, no, of course not.
They're a terrible tragedy.Copy !req
307. Thoughts and prayers
are with the victims.Copy !req
308. - Right, thoughts and prayers.
- But...Copy !req
309. anything that makes women feel unsafe
might actually help our box office.Copy !req
310. But you don't want women to feel unsafe.Copy !req
311. Of course not!Copy !req
312. Nobody wants that,
nobody's saying that.Copy !req
313. But if they already do feel unsafe,Copy !req
314. there's no reason not to capitalize.Copy !req
315. Right, if they already feel unsafe anyway.Copy !req
316. Exactly, we're not making them
feel unsafe.Copy !req
317. We're just profiting, albeit indirectly,
from there being more mass shootings.Copy !req
318. In that case,
I got good news and I got bad news.Copy !req
319. Bad news is
you're gonna want to avoid the 405.Copy !req
320. - Ta-da!
- Ugh! Keep it down.Copy !req
321. Why are you carrying that thin hard book?Copy !req
322. It's not a book, it's a DVD case.Copy !req
323. We did a special episode about elder care.Copy !req
324. Now we're gonna watch it
and learn how to handle this bitch.Copy !req
325. When you say "this bitch",Copy !req
326. do you mean your mom's dementia
or your mom?Copy !req
327. I think you can pick that up
through context.Copy !req
328. Season two, episode 12.Copy !req
329. "I'm Ready For My Close-Up,
Mr. Dementia."Copy !req
330. I'll go lie down.Copy !req
331. - Hey, Ethan, who's your friend?
- Ethan made a friend?Copy !req
332. This old man followed me home
from the park.Copy !req
333. - Can I keep him?
- Aww.Copy !req
334. Here we go, again.Copy !req
335. - BoJack?
- Mom?Copy !req
336. Hush, Henrietta.
That's my son on the television.Copy !req
337. - You know him?
- I think I'd know my own son, wouldn't I?Copy !req
338. You heard the boss man.Copy !req
339. Guess your daughter, the bikini model,
will have to pick you up at the park.Copy !req
340. Daughter, the bikini model?Copy !req
341. Whoa, whoa, Ethan,
this man is our guest!Copy !req
342. Uh...Copy !req
343. Huh.Copy !req
344. - You know I hate guns, right?
- I know.Copy !req
345. Although my official stated
political opinionCopy !req
346. is I respect the Second Amendment
but I think some gun purchasesCopy !req
347. should require the barest amount
of background checks.Copy !req
348. Mr. Peanutbutter,
you know I hate guns, too.Copy !req
349. Or I thought I did. Or I still do, mostly.Copy !req
350. But being a gun owner finally makes me
feel as safe walking down the streetCopy !req
351. as a man gets to feel all the time.Copy !req
352. And that's an incredible feeling
I'm not ready to give up yet.Copy !req
353. If you can frack under our house,
I should get to have a gun.Copy !req
354. All right, that's fair.Copy !req
355. I'm really proud we've found a wayCopy !req
356. to keep our personal lives
and our political lives compartmentalized.Copy !req
357. Me, too.Copy !req
358. - You have no idea...
- Yes. I have no idea?Copy !req
359. - Is your bubble of privilege so thick...
- What's with humans and guns?Copy !req
360. You're addicted to these things.Copy !req
361. And what is it with men
and not wanting women to feel safe?Copy !req
362. - I don't—
- This is a gendered issue...Copy !req
363. - Excuse me!
- ... make no mistake.Copy !req
364. - I don't think women...
- You can't sympathize...Copy !req
365. running around with guns
makes anybody safer.Copy !req
366. - Yeah. That's the danger.
- I don't—Copy !req
367. - Excuse me.
- Not the menCopy !req
368. who commit 90 percent of murders,
it's the crazy hysterical womenCopy !req
369. you gotta worry about!Copy !req
370. Yes, yes! Fill my chamber
with your powerful bullets!Copy !req
371. Beatrice, look who's back.Copy !req
372. And we brought more Horsin' Around.Copy !req
373. Oh? Good.Copy !req
374. Because you love that BoJack, right?Copy !req
375. Well, he's not much of a son,
but the show can be a comfort sometimes.Copy !req
376. They were playing your dumb show
in his hospital room.Copy !req
377. Which dumb show? New one or old one?Copy !req
378. In the episode I saw, you walked in
on your daughter in the shower.Copy !req
379. The old one. That episode got usCopy !req
380. into the TV Guide
"Cheers and Jeers" column.Copy !req
381. We did not get a "Cheers."Copy !req
382. You always could play the fool, BoJack.Copy !req
383. We have to have this conversation now,
on the way to Dad's funeral?Copy !req
384. There was so much more
I wanted to say to him.Copy !req
385. Well... you can forget it now.Copy !req
386. And since you saw me naked,
that means I get to see you naked!Copy !req
387. Something tells me
I'm gonna regret this.Copy !req
388. Out of the way, hag,
you're blocking the screen.Copy !req
389. Uh-huh.Copy !req
390. I know this must be painful for you.Copy !req
391. Not painful, boring. This place sucks.Copy !req
392. If I'm not getting credit
for coming, what's the point?Copy !req
393. If only there was some way for her
to connect the BoJack from the showCopy !req
394. with the BoJack who visits her every week.Copy !req
395. - Yeah, too bad we can't. Or can we?
- Can we what?Copy !req
396. Put on a live episode
of Horsin' Around in the nursing home.Copy !req
397. - Good thinking, Hollyhock.
- Uh...Copy !req
398. We'll do a Horsin' Around
here at the home.Copy !req
399. She'll love it
because it's her son BoJack.Copy !req
400. - Okay...
- Then after the show,Copy !req
401. I'll come out and say hello.
And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?"Copy !req
402. When her eyes spark with recognition,Copy !req
403. I'm gonna sit down next to her,
I'm gonna squeeze her handCopy !req
404. and get real close and say...Copy !req
405. - "Fuck you, Mom."
- What?Copy !req
406. I can finally tell her off!
I'm gonna say, "Look at you,Copy !req
407. you old piece of shit,
rotting in a nursing home!"Copy !req
408. - Now I have the power!
- That's what you want to say to her?Copy !req
409. Oh, it's gonna be great!
I can't wait to see the look on her face.Copy !req
410. Okay, let's do this. Let's put on a show!Copy !req
411. - Hey!
- Bad news.Copy !req
412. Hear about the mass shooting
outside Tulsa?Copy !req
413. Terrible tragedy.
Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
414. We really have to do something
about these men who go...Copy !req
415. No, P.C. This time it was a woman.Copy !req
416. A woman mass shooter?
Oh, no, that really is bad news!Copy !req
417. I just think this is what happens
when you give women guns.Copy !req
418. They start shooting people with them.Copy !req
419. I mean, do they even know
what guns are for?Copy !req
420. I don't feel safe anymore
walking down my own street alone at night.Copy !req
421. Me, a man!Copy !req
422. I am convening a series
of congressional hearingsCopy !req
423. on the matter of women and guns.Copy !req
424. Because even one death
from the bullet of a female gun ownerCopy !req
425. is too many.Copy !req
426. What are my constituents supposed to do,Copy !req
427. not compliment
random women on the streetCopy !req
428. because they might be
carrying a gun?Copy !req
429. We cannot allow our lives
to be dictated by that kind of fear.Copy !req
430. So you see, the trigger was specifically
designed for a man's gripCopy !req
431. and a man's temperament.Copy !req
432. Look, all I'm saying isCopy !req
433. maybe you shouldn't blame women
for wanting guns.Copy !req
434. Maybe you should blame
the constant societal messagingCopy !req
435. that tells us we are safe only as long
as the men around us allow us to be.Copy !req
436. So if you have a problem
with women carrying firearms,Copy !req
437. you can roll up your sleeves
and actually work to create a societyCopy !req
438. where women feel safe and equal,
or you can just ban all guns.Copy !req
439. The ayes have it.Copy !req
440. Possession of any firearm is now illegal
in the state of California.Copy !req
441. We did it, boys.Copy !req
442. - Huzzah!
- Yes!Copy !req
443. - Congratulations!
- Fabulous!Copy !req
444. I thought that was gonna go the other way.Copy !req
445. Wow, Diane.
You just passed sensible gun legislation.Copy !req
446. I can't believe this country hates women
more than it loves guns.Copy !req
447. No?Copy !req
448. BoJack, I don't know about this.Copy !req
449. You'll be fine.
Just remember to enunciate.Copy !req
450. It helps if you imagine
performing for the back row.Copy !req
451. - Not that. I mean...
- Shh! Here they come. Gladys, hit it!Copy !req
452. Too bad I could never run for president,
'cause I love waffling!Copy !req
453. Wha— What is this?Copy !req
454. Olivia, you usually love
my breakfast humor.Copy !req
455. Why so glum, sugarplum?Copy !req
456. It's this algebra homework
that gives me the blues.Copy !req
457. X-axis? Y-axis?Copy !req
458. Where's the 'Y'-should-I-care axis?Copy !req
459. Henrietta, what are you doing?Copy !req
460. BoJack, maybe we should stop.Copy !req
461. We just started. Let's at least
get through the first actCopy !req
462. before we judge ourselves
too harshly, huh?Copy !req
463. I wonder if there's a way
to make math fun.Copy !req
464. Math will never be fun.Copy !req
465. The only thing I like is rap music songs.Copy !req
466. Make this stop. How do I turn this off?Copy !req
467. Don't change it.
I want to see if this married coupleCopy !req
468. can work through their differences.Copy !req
469. - Gimme the remote!
- This isn't right!Copy !req
470. Guys, sharing is caring!Copy !req
471. Oh, my God. Code red, code red!Copy !req
472. What is happening? I don't like this!Copy !req
473. No!Copy !req
474. - Let go of me.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
475. I am the heiress
to the Sugarman Sugarcube Company.Copy !req
476. You can't do this to me!Copy !req
477. I never get to watch what I want.Copy !req
478. You think we should
still finish the episode, or...?Copy !req
479. Our insurance policy
is very strict and very clear.Copy !req
480. Once a resident becomes violent,
we can no longer house them.Copy !req
481. Can you recommend another facility?Copy !req
482. Frankly, at your mother's rate
of deterioration,Copy !req
483. she probably doesn't have much time.Copy !req
484. I recommend she spend it surrounded
by the people who care about her.Copy !req
485. Okay, who are they?
Do you have their number?Copy !req
486. - I was referring to you and your daughter.
- Oh. Uh...Copy !req
487. We'll take her.
She can have the guest room,Copy !req
488. and I can sleep on the couch. Right?Copy !req
489. Okay. If she really doesn't have
much time left.Copy !req
490. But if we get to this time next year,
she's still hanging on,Copy !req
491. you will be getting
a very strongly worded letter, mister.Copy !req
492. Excuse me, could you point me
in the direction of an H&M?Copy !req
493. Sure.Copy !req
494. That's all we got,
once we took out all the guns.Copy !req
495. Maybe it could work
as an H&M commercial?Copy !req
496. It's a shame. It was a great movie.Copy !req
497. Yeah.
Cut down in the prime of its life.Copy !req
498. Well, I'm very sorry for your loss.Copy !req
499. Eh, I'll be fine.Copy !req
500. Hey, Beatrice, you hungry?
I could make Pop-Tarts.Copy !req
501. No, thank you.Copy !req
502. You want to watch
another Horsin' Around episode?Copy !req
503. What's the point?Copy !req
504. Oh.Copy !req
505. Oh, God.Copy !req
506. I'm sorry you didn't get
to tell your mom off.Copy !req
507. I keep thinking
about all the things I never saidCopy !req
508. because I was so sure
there'd be other days to say them.Copy !req
509. - Why don't you tell her now?
- It's not the same.Copy !req
510. I should have done it
back when she knew who I was,Copy !req
511. back when it would mean something.Copy !req
512. But now, she's gonna dieCopy !req
513. and she's never gonna know
just how much I hate her.Copy !req
514. I'm sure she knew, BoJack.Copy !req
515. - Yeah? You're not just saying that?
- She read your book, didn't she?Copy !req
516. Yeah, but I really wanted
to say it to her face.Copy !req
517. Well, hey, she's here now, right?
And she has good days and bad days.Copy !req
518. Maybe, eventually, she'll recognize you.
And then you can totally rip into her.Copy !req
519. - You really think so?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req