1. Oh, no. No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
2. Sorry to interrupt your lunch,
but there was another mass shooting.Copy !req
3. Oh, God, where?Copy !req
4. A town outside Tampa called—Copy !req
5. Not geographically, dipshit.
What's the location?Copy !req
6. What is it, a pharmacy? A haberdashery?Copy !req
7. - It was a shopping mall.
- No!Copy !req
8. - Ms. Taken is coming out next month.
- I know, sir.Copy !req
9. The whole third act
revolves around Courtney PortnoyCopy !req
10. shooting people in a mall.Copy !req
11. What are we supposed to do now,
not release the movie?Copy !req
12. I hope it doesn't come to that.Copy !req
13. I am sick and tired
of real-life gun violenceCopy !req
14. getting in the way of us telling stories
that glamorize gun violence.Copy !req
15. Why does this keep happening?
Has the whole world gone crazy?Copy !req
16. No, we've just been conditioned
by a rugged individualist cultureCopy !req
17. woven into the savage architecture
of our country itself,Copy !req
18. birthed as it was
through violent uprising,Copy !req
19. but perhaps popularized
in the modern imagination by stories of—Copy !req
20. Okay, Chomsky, when I want you to talk,Copy !req
21. I'll staple a string to your back
and then yank it.Copy !req
22. Why not make yourself usefulCopy !req
23. and schedule a sit-down
with Courtney Portnoy's teamCopy !req
24. to talk about how we distance ourselves
from this fakakte mishegoss.Copy !req
25. Got it.
Except for the foccacia Michigan part.Copy !req
26. Excuse me, could you point me
in the direction of an H&M?Copy !req
27. Sure. But when you get there,
you're gonna be DOA.Copy !req
28. Uh-uh. You picked the wrong shopaholic
to mess with.Copy !req
29. Because this shopaholic's
also a holic for revenge.Copy !req
30. Courtney Portnoy-vey.Copy !req
31. - Wow. Carla Mercedes Benzbrown.
- Yep.Copy !req
32. - My mother.
- That's right.Copy !req
33. - I lied!
- What?Copy !req
34. There's no Carla Mercedes Benzbrown.Copy !req
35. - I have no idea who your mother is.
- What?Copy !req
36. I don't want to have a relationship
lying to each other.Copy !req
37. Okay, so why did you lie to me?Copy !req
38. I meant everything else I said.Copy !req
39. I'll do everything I can
to help find your mom.Copy !req
40. To be honest, moms aren't all that great.Copy !req
41. In fact, in my experience,
they're soulless succubiCopy !req
42. born fully formed from the ass of Satan.Copy !req
43. Oh, my grandmother
sounds like quite a character.Copy !req
44. - Can I meet her?
- Oh, my mom?Copy !req
45. No, you cannot meet my mom
because she's... dead.Copy !req
46. - Oh.
- Dead mom.Copy !req
47. BoJack, what happened
to the fudgesicles I bought?Copy !req
48. - I lied again. My mom's not dead.
- Stop lying to me!Copy !req
49. That was, like, 15 minutes of lie.
Plus, you don't want to meet my mom.Copy !req
50. I do. Where does she live?Copy !req
51. Oh, this spectacular elder care facility,Copy !req
52. she has her own private room
with a nice view,Copy !req
53. 'round-the-clock medical care,Copy !req
54. and plenty of other seniors
to say casually cruel things toCopy !req
55. under a passive-aggressive veil
of plausible deniability.Copy !req
56. What's this place called?Copy !req
57. I want to say Whispering Pines.
Whistling Pines?Copy !req
58. Unbelievable.Copy !req
59. Something with a W. Winter's Bone?Copy !req
60. - Take me there.
Fine!Copy !req
61. - For real this time?
- Yes. I promise.Copy !req
62. I am not gonna lie to you ever again.Copy !req
63. - Did you eat the last fudgesicle?
- No.Copy !req
64. I lied. I lied about the fudgesicle.Copy !req
65. All this time you thought
I was just another damsel in distress,Copy !req
66. - but I'm afraid you were mis... guided.Copy !req
67. Oh... oh.Copy !req
68. That is not good.
- Okay.Copy !req
69. Everybody set a Google Alert
for "mass shooting."Copy !req
70. Can't keep getting caught
off guard.Copy !req
71. This is so sad.Copy !req
72. You always hear about mass shootings
affecting other people's movie openings,Copy !req
73. but you never think they're gonna
affect your movie opening.Copy !req
74. My thoughts and prayers
to the victims and their families.Copy !req
75. - Of course. Yeah, thoughts and prayers.
- Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
76. Tragedy like this
really puts things in perspective.Copy !req
77. Like, what are we doing
sitting in a conference room?Copy !req
78. Life is short. We should have
this meeting at a water park.Copy !req
79. Whoa! A water park
where people have meetings.Copy !req
80. - Maybe that's the movie.
- I'm sorry, who is this schmuck?Copy !req
81. I'm Courtney's asexual fake fiancé.Copy !req
82. He's a common person/supermodel,Copy !req
83. being engaged to him makes me appear
more approachable/glamorous.Copy !req
84. Okay-slash-whatever. We still have time
to cut the mall shootout from the film.Copy !req
85. That still leaves
the movie theater shootout,Copy !req
86. - the shootout at the county fair, the—Copy !req
87. We should probably lose
the movie theater shootout.Copy !req
88. Right. Well, we still have
the county fair shootout.Copy !req
89. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
90. - This is a sad day.
- What?Copy !req
91. I gotta take this.Copy !req
92. - BoJack?
- Hi.Copy !req
93. - Where have you been?
- Listen.Copy !req
94. I'm sorry.
I was an awful boyfriend to you.Copy !req
95. I was an awful client,
and I was an awful friend.Copy !req
96. This last year I spent some time awayCopy !req
97. and it made me realize
how special the people in my life are.Copy !req
98. And you might be
the most special of them all.Copy !req
99. Wow, BoJack.Copy !req
100. I— I appreciate that.Copy !req
101. Anyway, the real reason I'm calling is,Copy !req
102. do you remember the name
of that super nice elder care facilityCopy !req
103. that we both agreed was the best place
for my mom to run out the clock?Copy !req
104. Oh, pluck a duck.
It's called Walnut Springs.Copy !req
105. Walnut Springs!
I knew there was a W in there. Bye!Copy !req
106. What?Copy !req
107. I feel like I didn't strike the right tone
in the last phone call.Copy !req
108. I really am sorry,
and the most important thing is,Copy !req
109. you know how dedicated I am
to making things right again.Copy !req
110. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
111. Anyway, the real reason I'm calling is,Copy !req
112. turns out there's a few Walnut Springses
in the SoCal area.Copy !req
113. It's the one in Santa Barbara, dummy!Copy !req
114. - Yeesh! Cranky much? Who died?
- A lotta people!Copy !req
115. - Sorry, what did I miss?Copy !req
116. Courtney's beloved was outlining his plan
to curtail gun violence.Copy !req
117. I'm just saying,
if people have the right pumped-up kicks,Copy !req
118. maybe they can outrun the bullets.Copy !req
119. All this talk of gun violence
is depressing.Copy !req
120. - Ms. Taken is a movie about empowerment.
- That's what I've been saying!Copy !req
121. It's Bridget Jones
with slightly more bloody murdering.Copy !req
122. We just have to keep the story
on Courtney,Copy !req
123. and not on the depressingly
unstoppable riseCopy !req
124. of real-life gun violence in this country,
thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
125. - Thoughts and prayers.
- Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
126. - Oh.Copy !req
127. The House Majority Whip
outlined a new bipartisan planCopy !req
128. to encourage you
to answer your ringing phone.Copy !req
129. For Thursday, October 12,
this is All Rings Considered.Copy !req
130. - I'm Robert Siegel.
- And I'm Audie Cornish.Copy !req
131. The proposed bill would take effect
when someone tries to call youCopy !req
132. - and you hear this ringtone.Copy !req
133. - Hello?
- Diane!Copy !req
134. I got an exclusive for you.Copy !req
135. You are going to write a glowing feature
about my client and her new movie.Copy !req
136. - Why would I...
- You know Courtney Portnoy.Copy !req
137. You probably recall when she soared
as the thorny horticulturistCopy !req
138. in One Sordid Fortnight
With the Short-Skirted Sorceress.Copy !req
139. - Uh...
- How would you enjoy joining PortnoyCopy !req
140. for a scorched soy porterhouse pork
four-courser at Koi?Copy !req
141. - Wait, what?
- Glorify your source,Copy !req
142. but don't make it feel forced, of course,
and try the borscht. Smooches!Copy !req
143. - Hey—
- And that's how you do it, folks.Copy !req
144. Oh...Copy !req
145. You're telling me
you didn't feel one twinge of guiltCopy !req
146. when you left your mom in this place?Copy !req
147. Uh... twinge of guilt, twinge of guilt,
trying to remember, no.Copy !req
148. - Definitely not.
- Damn.Copy !req
149. You didn't know my mom.Copy !req
150. Football?
You don't have the haunches for it.Copy !req
151. You'll only embarrass yourself,
as in every other endeavor you pursue.Copy !req
152. - But, Mom...
- If you're looking to get knocked aroundCopy !req
153. for an afternoon, why don't you just read
one of your father's manuscriptsCopy !req
154. and tell him his prose
is pedestrian and derivative?Copy !req
155. Works for me every time.Copy !req
156. Mrs. Horseman, you have a visitor.Copy !req
157. Oh, uh...Copy !req
158. - Hi, Mom.
- Do I know you?Copy !req
159. Here we go.
Yes, Mom, I never visit. You got me.Copy !req
160. - Henrietta?
- Okay, we're doing this?Copy !req
161. I think she really doesn't know
who you are.Copy !req
162. She knows.
This is just like when she pretendedCopy !req
163. not to recognize me
after my shaky choir solo in eighth grade.Copy !req
164. I had to get a ride home with the pianistCopy !req
165. who liked to tickle a lot more
than just the ivories.Copy !req
166. When I made it home unscathed, she said,
"Huh. I guess no one wants you."Copy !req
167. Henrietta, could I trouble you
for some orange juice, please?Copy !req
168. Stop calling me Henrietta!
Nobody here's named Henrietta!Copy !req
169. Henrietta, orange juice. Now!Copy !req
170. You're not being paid
for polite conversation.Copy !req
171. - BoJack, maybe you should just—
- Oh, hello! It's you.Copy !req
172. Hollyhock.Copy !req
173. I must apologize for Henrietta.
She learned to read on secondhand books.Copy !req
174. Mom, do you really not know who I am?
Me, famous BoJack?Copy !req
175. If you are getting orange juice,
I'd love a glass too.Copy !req
176. Oh. Uh, okay.Copy !req
177. So you see
I'm really quite ordinary and relatable.Copy !req
178. Yeah, you put your pants on
one leg at a time.Copy !req
179. Well, I step into my pants
one leg at a time,Copy !req
180. then my trouser-maidens lift the legs
simultaneously to avoid wrinklage.Copy !req
181. Well, right, of course,
why else have trouser-maidens?Copy !req
182. - Hey. Konichiwa, Princess Mulan.
- Just leave us alone, okay?Copy !req
183. I was giving you a compliment.Copy !req
184. First, konichiwa is not a compliment,
it's Japanese for hello.Copy !req
185. Second, I'm not Japanese.Copy !req
186. Maybe I could put something
in that sweet mouth of yoursCopy !req
187. - so you don't have to talk so much.
- Whoa!Copy !req
188. One more step, asshole.Copy !req
189. - What...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
190. I was joking.
I don't want any trouble.Copy !req
191. - Tell your story walking.
- ... the...Copy !req
192. shit was that?Copy !req
193. I don't know! My instincts just kicked in.Copy !req
194. Why do you even have a gun?Copy !req
195. Well, using it in the movie
was so empowering,Copy !req
196. and now I just carry it everywhere.
Do you want to hold it?Copy !req
197. No, I am very anti-gun.Copy !req
198. In fact, I think the whole idea of guns
is inherently—Copy !req
199. Holy shit, I'm holding a gun.
How long has this been in my hand?Copy !req
200. - Slides right in, doesn't it?
- It actually feels kind of nice.Copy !req
201. Would you like to try shooting it?
We can go to my gun range.Copy !req
202. You have your own gun range?Copy !req
203. I'm Courtney Portnoy.
I have all the things.Copy !req
204. Whoa...Copy !req
205. I can't believe you came back.Copy !req
206. - Who, me? Or BoJack?
- You look just like him.Copy !req
207. - People tell me that.Copy !req
208. Your mother's dementia
is progressing rapidly.Copy !req
209. - You came out of nowhere.
- Yes.Copy !req
210. I snuck up on you on purpose as a symbol
for the alarming creep of dementia.Copy !req
211. - It isn't there, until it is.
- Thank you, very colorful.Copy !req
212. We tried to call you,
but the number you gave usCopy !req
213. - connected to a sandwich shop in Temecula.
- Is that right?Copy !req
214. This is the most responsive
she's been in weeks.Copy !req
215. I think with regular visits
from you and your daughter—Copy !req
216. That's not happening.Copy !req
217. Seeing my mom
is like a Terrence Malick movie.Copy !req
218. Every ten years or so is bearable,Copy !req
219. but more than that
and it starts to get annoying.Copy !req
220. She won't last another ten years.Copy !req
221. - Well, I guess that's it, then. Bye, Mom!
- Huh?Copy !req
222. Come on, Hollyhock,
let's blow this Jell-O stand.Copy !req
223. We're gonna come back though, right?Copy !req
224. We can't just leave her like this.Copy !req
225. You can do anything
if you believe in yourself.Copy !req
226. - We have to come back.
Henrietta?Copy !req
227. - Every week.
- Why?Copy !req
228. Because she's your mother
and dementia is hereditary.Copy !req
229. One day, you're gonna be
in a home like this, and so will I,Copy !req
230. and wouldn't you want
someone visiting you?Copy !req
231. Fine.
We'll come back. Happy?Copy !req
232. Where's my orange juice, slag?Copy !req
233. Ahhh!Copy !req
234. Ahhh!
See ya next week.Copy !req
235. - Hey, are we out of milk?
- I can pick up some after work.Copy !req
236. Great. Also, real quick follow-up,
why are you holding a gun?Copy !req
237. Oh, my God!Copy !req
238. Did I drive all the way home
without realizing I was holding a gun?Copy !req
239. No wonder that guy at the gas station
didn't charge me for the Red Vines.Copy !req
240. Did I rob a gas station?Copy !req
241. Classic Diane shenanigans.Copy !req
242. Or as I call them, "Diane-igans."
All right, be safe.Copy !req
243. Hmm.Copy !req
244. Let's get one thing
out of the way right now.Copy !req
245. If you're a man,
you're not gonna get it.Copy !req
246. Some of you think you get it.
You want to get it.Copy !req
247. You listen, nod
and say all the right thingsCopy !req
248. when we tell you our stories.Copy !req
249. But you still can't actually know
what it feels likeCopy !req
250. - to constantly have your guard up.Copy !req
251. In parking garages,
walking the street, even at work.Copy !req
252. I'm tired of trying
to help men understandCopy !req
253. how it feels to be a woman.Copy !req
254. Starting now,
I'm doing what it takesCopy !req
255. to put the power in my own hands.Copy !req
256. That's why I own a gun.Copy !req
257. - That was our senior picnic.
- Oh.Copy !req
258. Oh, here I am. There's Polio Larry.Copy !req
259. Yup, she sure remembers
all the important people.Copy !req
260. And who's this?
That's my brother, Crackerjack.Copy !req
261. That's not Crackerjack, that's me.Copy !req
262. Thirty seconds
after that picture was takenCopy !req
263. you yelled at me
for getting ice cream on my shorts.Copy !req
264. No ice cream for me, Henrietta.
I'm watching my figure.Copy !req
265. Yeah, you want to look pretty
for when Death comes to visit.Copy !req
266. Beth? No.Copy !req
267. We stopped talking
after she wouldn't eat my casseroleCopy !req
268. and then I told the whole supper club
that her son was a gay.Copy !req
269. - Ooh.
- Okay. You two enjoy each other.Copy !req
270. I'm gonna go see
if I can seduce a lonely dowagerCopy !req
271. into giving me her night-night pills.Copy !req
272. Wow. Is this you?Copy !req
273. This is me at my debutante ball.
- You were so beautiful.Copy !req
274. You could be thin, too.
Just go easy on the sweetsCopy !req
275. and when you go somewhere,
don't walk, gallop.Copy !req
276. Ice cold, Grammy-gram.Copy !req
277. Morning time, Hollywoo!Copy !req
278. I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type.Copy !req
279. And I'm A Billy Bush Type.Copy !req
280. Here's something
I'm just now reading on a cue card.Copy !req
281. All the ladies
are getting concealed carry permits.Copy !req
282. It's the newest thing.Copy !req
283. I wouldn't want to be around
one of those ladiesCopy !req
284. at a certain time of the month,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
285. I don't.Copy !req
286. Joking aside, I think it's great
these gals have a hobby.Copy !req
287. Oh, and I'm being told by our producers
that we have a breaking news alert—Copy !req
288. - there has been another mass shooting.Copy !req
289. I am totally unqualified
to cover a news story this important.Copy !req
290. But as a straight white male,
I will plow forward with confidenceCopy !req
291. and assume I'm doing fine.Copy !req
292. Again with the crazy gunmen.Copy !req
293. Princess Carolyn, if this keeps up,Copy !req
294. we're gonna have to put this movie
on the shelfCopy !req
295. next to that wacky vacation comedy we did
about the klutzy babysitter.Copy !req
296. Ha! That sounds hilarious!
- What the hell are you doing on this call?Copy !req
297. Imagining that funny movie
you just described.Copy !req
298. Okay, what do all these shootings
have in common?Copy !req
299. Guns? Bullets? Who are you,
Art Linkletter? Just spit it out.Copy !req
300. Men! What if we played up
the "Ms." in Ms. Taken?Copy !req
301. In a world of increasing terror,Copy !req
302. our movie tells women
they don't have to be afraid anymore.Copy !req
303. - Yeah, now you're talking.
- When you put it that way,Copy !req
304. it almost sounds like these mass shootings
could be a good thing for the movie.Copy !req
305. No, no, no, of course not.
They're a terrible tragedy.Copy !req
306. Thoughts and prayers
are with the victims.Copy !req
307. - Right, thoughts and prayers.
- But...Copy !req
308. anything that makes women feel unsafe
might actually help our box office.Copy !req
309. But you don't want women to feel unsafe.Copy !req
310. Of course not!Copy !req
311. Nobody wants that,
nobody's saying that.Copy !req
312. But if they already do feel unsafe,Copy !req
313. there's no reason not to capitalize.Copy !req
314. Right, if they already feel unsafe anyway.Copy !req
315. Exactly, we're not making them
feel unsafe.Copy !req
316. We're just profiting, albeit indirectly,
from there being more mass shootings.Copy !req
317. In that case,
I got good news and I got bad news.Copy !req
318. Bad news is
you're gonna want to avoid the 405.Copy !req
319. - Ta-da!
- Ugh! Keep it down.Copy !req
320. Why are you carrying that thin hard book?Copy !req
321. It's not a book, it's a DVD case.Copy !req
322. We did a special episode about elder care.Copy !req
323. Now we're gonna watch it
and learn how to handle this bitch.Copy !req
324. When you say "this bitch",Copy !req
325. do you mean your mom's dementia
or your mom?Copy !req
326. I think you can pick that up
through context.Copy !req
327. Season two, episode 12.Copy !req
328. "I'm Ready For My Close-Up,
Mr. Dementia."Copy !req
329. - I'll go lie down.Copy !req
330. - Hey, Ethan, who's your friend?
Ethan made a friend?Copy !req
331. This old man followed me home
from the park.Copy !req
332. - Can I keep him?
Aww.Copy !req
333. - BoJack?
- Mom?Copy !req
334. Hush, Henrietta.
That's my son on the television.Copy !req
335. - You know him?
- I think I'd know my own son, wouldn't I?Copy !req
336. You heard the boss man.Copy !req
337. Guess your daughter, the bikini model,
will have to pick you up at the park.Copy !req
338. Daughter, the bikini model?Copy !req
339. Whoa, whoa, Ethan,
this man is our guest!Copy !req
340. Uh...Copy !req
341. Huh.Copy !req
342. - You know I hate guns, right?
- I know.Copy !req
343. Although my official stated
political opinionCopy !req
344. is I respect the Second Amendment
but I think some gun purchasesCopy !req
345. should require the barest amount
of background checks.Copy !req
346. Mr. Peanutbutter,
you know I hate guns, too.Copy !req
347. Or I thought I did. Or I still do, mostly.Copy !req
348. But being a gun owner finally makes me
feel as safe walking down the streetCopy !req
349. as a man gets to feel all the time.Copy !req
350. And that's an incredible feeling
I'm not ready to give up yet.Copy !req
351. If you can frack under our house,
I should get to have a gun.Copy !req
352. All right, that's fair.Copy !req
353. I'm really proud we've found a wayCopy !req
354. to keep our personal lives
and our political lives compartmentalized.Copy !req
355. Me, too.Copy !req
356. - You have no idea...
- Yes. I have no idea?Copy !req
357. - Is your bubble of privilege so thick...
- What's with humans and guns?Copy !req
358. You're addicted to these things.Copy !req
359. And what is it with men
and not wanting women to feel safe?Copy !req
360. - I don't—
- This is a gendered issue...Copy !req
361. - Excuse me!
- ... make no mistake.Copy !req
362. - I don't think women...
- You can't sympathize...Copy !req
363. running around with guns
makes anybody safer.Copy !req
364. - Yeah. That's the danger.
- I don't—Copy !req
365. - Excuse me.
- Not the menCopy !req
366. who commit 90 percent of murders,
it's the crazy hysterical womenCopy !req
367. you gotta worry about!Copy !req
368. Yes, yes! Fill my chamber
with your powerful bullets!Copy !req
369. Beatrice, look who's back.Copy !req
370. And we brought more Horsin' Around.Copy !req
371. Oh? Good.Copy !req
372. Because you love that BoJack, right?Copy !req
373. Well, he's not much of a son,
but the show can be a comfort sometimes.Copy !req
374. They were playing your dumb show
in his hospital room.Copy !req
375. Which dumb show? New one or old one?Copy !req
376. In the episode I saw, you walked in
on your daughter in the shower.Copy !req
377. The old one. That episode got usCopy !req
378. into the TV Guide
"Cheers and Jeers" column.Copy !req
379. We did not get a "Cheers."Copy !req
380. You always could play the fool, BoJack.Copy !req
381. We have to have this conversation now,
on the way to Dad's funeral?Copy !req
382. There was so much more
I wanted to say to him.Copy !req
383. Well... you can forget it now.Copy !req
384. And since you saw me naked,
that means I get to see you naked!Copy !req
385. Something tells me
I'm gonna regret this.Copy !req
386. Out of the way, hag,
you're blocking the screen.Copy !req
387. Uh-huh.Copy !req
388. I know this must be painful for you.Copy !req
389. Not painful, boring. This place sucks.Copy !req
390. If I'm not getting credit
for coming, what's the point?Copy !req
391. If only there was some way for her
to connect the BoJack from the showCopy !req
392. with the BoJack who visits her every week.Copy !req
393. - Yeah, too bad we can't. Or can we?
- Can we what?Copy !req
394. Put on a live episode
of Horsin' Around in the nursing home.Copy !req
395. - Good thinking, Hollyhock.
- Uh...Copy !req
396. We'll do a Horsin' Around
here at the home.Copy !req
397. She'll love it
because it's her son BoJack.Copy !req
398. - Okay...
- Then after the show,Copy !req
399. I'll come out and say hello.
And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?"Copy !req
400. When her eyes spark with recognition,Copy !req
401. I'm gonna sit down next to her,
I'm gonna squeeze her handCopy !req
402. and get real close and say...Copy !req
403. - "Fuck you, Mom."
- What?Copy !req
404. I can finally tell her off!
I'm gonna say, "Look at you,Copy !req
405. you old piece of shit,
rotting in a nursing home!"Copy !req
406. - Now I have the power!
- That's what you want to say to her?Copy !req
407. Oh, it's gonna be great!
I can't wait to see the look on her face.Copy !req
408. Okay, let's do this. Let's put on a show!Copy !req
409. - Hey!
- Bad news.Copy !req
410. Hear about the mass shooting
outside Tulsa?Copy !req
411. Terrible tragedy.
Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
412. We really have to do something
about these men who go...Copy !req
413. No, P.C. This time it was a woman.Copy !req
414. A woman mass shooter?
Oh, no, that really is bad news!Copy !req
415. I just think this is what happens
when you give women guns.Copy !req
416. They start shooting people with them.Copy !req
417. I mean, do they even know
what guns are for?Copy !req
418. I don't feel safe anymore
walking down my own street alone at night.Copy !req
419. Me, a man!Copy !req
420. I am convening a series
of congressional hearingsCopy !req
421. on the matter of women and guns.Copy !req
422. Because even one death
from the bullet of a female gun ownerCopy !req
423. is too many.Copy !req
424. What are my constituents supposed to do,Copy !req
425. not compliment
random women on the streetCopy !req
426. because they might be
carrying a gun?Copy !req
427. We cannot allow our lives
to be dictated by that kind of fear.Copy !req
428. So you see, the trigger was specifically
designed for a man's gripCopy !req
429. and a man's temperament.Copy !req
430. Look, all I'm saying isCopy !req
431. maybe you shouldn't blame women
for wanting guns.Copy !req
432. Maybe you should blame
the constant societal messagingCopy !req
433. that tells us we are safe only as long
as the men around us allow us to be.Copy !req
434. So if you have a problem
with women carrying firearms,Copy !req
435. you can roll up your sleeves
and actually work to create a societyCopy !req
436. where women feel safe and equal,
or you can just ban all guns.Copy !req
437. - The ayes have it.Copy !req
438. Possession of any firearm is now illegal
in the state of California.Copy !req
439. We did it, boys.Copy !req
440. - Huzzah!
- Yes!Copy !req
441. - Congratulations!
- Fabulous!Copy !req
442. I thought that was gonna go the other way.Copy !req
443. Wow, Diane.
You just passed sensible gun legislation.Copy !req
444. I can't believe this country hates women
more than it loves guns.Copy !req
445. No?Copy !req
446. BoJack, I don't know about this.Copy !req
447. You'll be fine.
Just remember to enunciate.Copy !req
448. It helps if you imagine
performing for the back row.Copy !req
449. - Not that. I mean...
- Shh! Here they come. Gladys, hit it!Copy !req
450. Too bad I could never run for president,
'cause I love waffling!Copy !req
451. Wha— What is this?Copy !req
452. Olivia, you usually love
my breakfast humor.Copy !req
453. Why so glum, sugarplum?Copy !req
454. It's this algebra homework
that gives me the blues.Copy !req
455. - X-axis? Y-axis?Copy !req
456. Where's the 'Y'-should-I-care axis?Copy !req
457. Henrietta, what are you doing?Copy !req
458. BoJack, maybe we should stop.Copy !req
459. We just started. Let's at least
get through the first actCopy !req
460. before we judge ourselves
too harshly, huh?Copy !req
461. I wonder if there's a way
to make math fun.Copy !req
462. - The only thing I like is rap music songs.Copy !req
463. Make this stop. How do I turn this off?Copy !req
464. Don't change it.
I want to see if this married coupleCopy !req
465. can work through their differences.Copy !req
466. - Gimme the remote!
- This isn't right!Copy !req
467. - Guys, sharing is caring!Copy !req
468. Oh, my God. Code red, code red!Copy !req
469. What is happening? I don't like this!Copy !req
470. No!Copy !req
471. Let go of me.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
472. I am the heiress
to the Sugarman Sugarcube Company.Copy !req
473. You can't do this to me!Copy !req
474. I never get to watch what I want.Copy !req
475. You think we should
still finish the episode, or...?Copy !req
476. Our insurance policy
is very strict and very clear.Copy !req
477. Once a resident becomes violent,
we can no longer house them.Copy !req
478. Can you recommend another facility?Copy !req
479. Frankly, at your mother's rate
of deterioration,Copy !req
480. she probably doesn't have much time.Copy !req
481. I recommend she spend it surrounded
by the people who care about her.Copy !req
482. Okay, who are they?
Do you have their number?Copy !req
483. - I was referring to you and your daughter.
- Oh. Uh...Copy !req
484. We'll take her.
She can have the guest room,Copy !req
485. - and I can sleep on the couch. Right?Copy !req
486. Okay. If she really doesn't have
much time left.Copy !req
487. But if we get to this time next year,
she's still hanging on,Copy !req
488. you will be getting
a very strongly worded letter, mister.Copy !req
489. Excuse me, could you point me
in the direction of an H&M?Copy !req
490. - Sure.Copy !req
491. That's all we got,
once we took out all the guns.Copy !req
492. Maybe it could work
as an H&M commercial?Copy !req
493. It's a shame. It was a great movie.Copy !req
494. Yeah.
Cut down in the prime of its life.Copy !req
495. Well, I'm very sorry for your loss.Copy !req
496. Eh, I'll be fine.Copy !req
497. Hey, Beatrice, you hungry?
I could make Pop-Tarts.Copy !req
498. No, thank you.Copy !req
499. You want to watch
another Horsin' Around episode?Copy !req
500. What's the point?Copy !req
501. - Oh.Copy !req
502. Oh, God.Copy !req
503. I'm sorry you didn't get
to tell your mom off.Copy !req
504. I keep thinking
about all the things I never saidCopy !req
505. because I was so sure
there'd be other days to say them.Copy !req
506. - Why don't you tell her now?
- It's not the same.Copy !req
507. I should have done it
back when she knew who I was,Copy !req
508. back when it would mean something.Copy !req
509. But now, she's gonna dieCopy !req
510. and she's never gonna know
just how much I hate her.Copy !req
511. I'm sure she knew, BoJack.Copy !req
512. - Yeah? You're not just saying that?
- She read your book, didn't she?Copy !req
513. Yeah, but I really wanted
to say it to her face.Copy !req
514. Well, hey, she's here now, right?
And she has good days and bad days.Copy !req
515. Maybe, eventually, she'll recognize you.
And then you can totally rip into her.Copy !req
516. - You really think so?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req