1. Give it a moment.Copy !req
2. Nothing gets by me, Tina.
Uno what I'm thinking?Copy !req
3. I don't think you have any blues.Copy !req
4. I think you put the wild card down,
and chose blue,Copy !req
5. because you want us
to think you have blues.Copy !req
6. - Just go already!
- Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
7. I am employing
a little something called "strategy."Copy !req
8. I am taking my time because
I enjoy being the center of attention.Copy !req
9. Until I put a card down,
you have to listen.Copy !req
10. It's been your turn
for ten minutes.Copy !req
11. Well, since you're being so impatient,Copy !req
12. I'm gonna put my thing down,
flip it and reverse it back to Tina.Copy !req
13. Uno.Copy !req
14. So you did have blues. Touché.Copy !req
15. Henrietta, don't use a foreign language
in front of the child.Copy !req
16. She'll get ideas.Copy !req
17. - It's your turn, Beatrice.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah!Copy !req
18. - You okay, Hollyhock?
- Yeah, I'm— I'm awesome.Copy !req
19. I feel really good.Copy !req
20. I just— I need a glass of water.Copy !req
21. Oh! Beatrice, trying to slip
a nine on a six.Copy !req
22. You think I've never seen
an old niner-sixer before?Copy !req
23. - Ah! Ow!
- Whoa, are— are you okay?Copy !req
24. I'm fine! I just— Ow!Copy !req
25. Did you cut yourself?
It's okay. I know what to do.Copy !req
26. You need some alcohol, ice,
a squeeze of lemon.Copy !req
27. - You'll forget all about your cut.
- I'll be right back.Copy !req
28. One.Copy !req
29. Oh!Copy !req
30. Oh!Copy !req
31. Californians are feeling the pinch,
and you butter believeCopy !req
32. it's "beclaws"
of Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz.Copy !req
33. I see, you're referring
to my hideous transplant lobster clawsCopy !req
34. in an effort to distract—Copy !req
35. Do you want a governor
who can be rendered defenselessCopy !req
36. with two rubber bands?Copy !req
37. Woodchuck is down in the polls.Copy !req
38. Californians just aren't connecting
with his message.Copy !req
39. I have a very important
policy announcement.Copy !req
40. I've got new hands, baby!Copy !req
41. Now Woodchuck is way up in the polls!Copy !req
42. I guess his message
was connecting with voters after all.Copy !req
43. Hey! How you doin'?
Looking good.Copy !req
44. Mmm...Copy !req
45. Oh!Copy !req
46. What's the big deal?
I have hands too.Copy !req
47. There's no way those new hands
are as perfect as everyone says.Copy !req
48. Nobody's hands are all the way clean.
Computer, zoom in on that thumb.Copy !req
49. And enhance. Zoom in again.Copy !req
50. Enhance again.Copy !req
51. Zoom in three more times.
Enhance. Enhance.Copy !req
52. Now zoom out once.
De-enhance.Copy !req
53. Okay.Copy !req
54. What are you doing?Copy !req
55. Quiet, "Face."
"Brain" is working on something.Copy !req
56. Computer, take a scan
on that thumbprintCopy !req
57. and cross-reference, please.Copy !req
58. - Ha! Just what I expected.
- What?Copy !req
59. Before Woodchuck,
the hands belonged to oneCopy !req
60. Ernest Contralto, a criminal.
The man was a pedophile murderer.Copy !req
61. Well, if you gotta murder somebody...Copy !req
62. No, Tom. Not a pedophile-dash-murderer.
A pedophile-slash-murderer!Copy !req
63. Oh, no! The way you said "slash"
was very scary!Copy !req
64. At first I didn't like him,
on account, uh... he didn't have hands?Copy !req
65. But then he got new hands,
so I liked him again?Copy !req
66. But then I found out those hands are bad!
Can't trust politicians.Copy !req
67. She's killing us on this hands thing.Copy !req
68. Much like Ernest Contralto
killed those innocent childrenCopy !req
69. after he pedophiled them,
with those very hands.Copy !req
70. Not helping!Copy !req
71. Your hands are being
really aggressive right now.Copy !req
72. Watch out! They're attacking your face!Copy !req
73. Hey, girl, whatcha working on?
Getting some clicks?Copy !req
74. Get them clicks, girl.
Get. Them. Clicks.Copy !req
75. I'm working on another big piece
about how Jessica Biel is ownedCopy !req
76. by private prison lobbyists, who want—Copy !req
77. Oh, my Gaia, Diane, nobody cares.
I care and I don't even care.Copy !req
78. So imagine how little
someone who doesn't care cares.Copy !req
79. - Well...
- What if you had lunch with her?Copy !req
80. - Why would—
- You could write aboutCopy !req
81. what she smells like,
how she makes her face pretty.Copy !req
82. These are things people will want
to know about our first female governor.Copy !req
83. Ugh!Copy !req
84. I'll have the avocado toast.Copy !req
85. But instead of the avocado part,
I want fresh sea air,Copy !req
86. and instead of the toast,
I'll have a single grain of rice.Copy !req
87. - And for you?
- Grilled cheese?Copy !req
88. Thank you for meeting me here, Diane.
I just wanted to tell you,Copy !req
89. you can keep writing
whatever you want about me.Copy !req
90. Obviously, it has no effect on the polls,Copy !req
91. because the only thing voters care about
is stupid bullshit, so knock yourself out.Copy !req
92. Well, today I just want to know
what you smell like.Copy !req
93. It's actually my new fragrance:
"Bielist," by Jessica Biel.Copy !req
94. - Your perfume's called "B"-list?
- "Bielist."Copy !req
95. "B"-list. Like a "B"-list celebrity.Copy !req
96. - No, "Bielist" like Jessica Biel.
- I think we're saying the same thing.Copy !req
97. Do you want some?
I got a whole trunk of this stuff.Copy !req
98. - No, thanks.
- You sure?Copy !req
99. Mr. Peanutbutter always loved
the way I smelled.Copy !req
100. Well, I wouldn't flatter
yourself too much.Copy !req
101. He's very enthusiastic
about smelling in general.Copy !req
102. He's enthusiastic about everything.Copy !req
103. Oh, my God. Does he still have
that dumb magic eye poster?Copy !req
104. What? No.Copy !req
105. When we were married,
he was obsessed with it.Copy !req
106. And he would make me
stare at it for hours.Copy !req
107. Yeah, I bet.Copy !req
108. But then, all of a sudden, I saw it.
And it was incredible.Copy !req
109. And I was so happy
that I had waited long enoughCopy !req
110. to experience this beautiful thing,
and I felt so...Copy !req
111. Why is this disgusting avocado
on my plate?Copy !req
112. - Oh, I...
- I feel personally attacked right now.Copy !req
113. Oh, so sorry.Copy !req
114. Anyway,
as I was saying about the poster,Copy !req
115. it's funny how something so stupid
could have this tremendous power.Copy !req
116. You know what I mean?Copy !req
117. Yeah. I think I do.Copy !req
118. A blog post about Jessica Biel
is gaining attentionCopy !req
119. for the seemingly minor detailCopy !req
120. that the candidate
would not eat an avocado,Copy !req
121. calling the savory fruit,
quote, "disgusting."Copy !req
122. Who doesn't like avocados?Copy !req
123. I don't know if Jessica Biel
has the right judgment to lead California.Copy !req
124. And I was totally convinced before,Copy !req
125. - so it's really...
- Whoa!Copy !req
126. the avocado thing
that I have a problem with.Copy !req
127. Why would you say
that you hate avocados?Copy !req
128. I just have to live my truth, Katrina.Copy !req
129. Her polls,
like an avocado exposed to air,Copy !req
130. have quickly turned from a verdant green
to a mushy brown.Copy !req
131. And with only seven days
until the election,Copy !req
132. her campaign might be in the pits.Copy !req
133. Wow. Who'da thunk
that such a small trivial detailCopy !req
134. could be the thing to take Biel down?Copy !req
135. Yeah, who'da thunk it?Copy !req
136. Who knew?Copy !req
137. I knew. I put the avocado thing
in the story on purpose,Copy !req
138. I knew people wouldn't like it.Copy !req
139. So just for the record, I "thunk" it.Copy !req
140. Even though it doesn't matter.
I don't need credit.Copy !req
141. But it does, if I didn't do that,
it wouldn't have happened.Copy !req
142. So, it's because of me.Copy !req
143. - Well, whoever is responsible—
- Me. I just told you.Copy !req
144. We shouldn't get too excited just yet.Copy !req
145. The election is a week away,
and a lot can happen in a week.Copy !req
146. This is far from over.Copy !req
147. It's over. And the clear winner
is Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz.Copy !req
148. - All right!
- Huzzah!Copy !req
149. - We did it!
- High five! Low five!Copy !req
150. Shadow puppet!Copy !req
151. Hand jive! Yes!Copy !req
152. - We did it, didn't we?
- We did!Copy !req
153. You and me, working together,
both contributing the same amount.Copy !req
154. Well, I wrote the article
that got Woodchuck elected governor.Copy !req
155. You're the one that made him
not governor in the first place.Copy !req
156. I set 'em up. You knock 'em down.Copy !req
157. Thank you for meeting me here.Copy !req
158. My name is Yolanda Buenaventura
of the Better Business Bureau.Copy !req
159. It would be funnier
if your name was Betty BuenaventuraCopy !req
160. of the Better Business Bureau.Copy !req
161. Well, I'm sorry you don't find
my name sufficiently comical,Copy !req
162. but this is actually
a very serious matter.Copy !req
163. - Oh.
- We've received complaintsCopy !req
164. from several concerned parents.Copy !req
165. It seems that many
of your clown dentistsCopy !req
166. aren't actually licensed
to practice medicine.Copy !req
167. Isn't laughter the best medicine?Copy !req
168. No. It is the worst medicine.Copy !req
169. If you can even call it medicine,
which, legally, you cannot.Copy !req
170. Well, what if I said my business
was for entertainment purposes?Copy !req
171. That would require your employees
to be entertaining.Copy !req
172. According to your reviews on Yelp,
your clown dentists are, quote,Copy !req
173. "A cotton candy nightmare of Freudian
invention that shakes one to the core."Copy !req
174. Ah, everyone's a critic.Copy !req
175. On Yelp? Yes, that is the idea.Copy !req
176. It appears your business provides
no service but to terrify childrenCopy !req
177. and the adults who accompany them.Copy !req
178. If this were October,
you could market your ventureCopy !req
179. as some sort of spooky
Halloween experience,Copy !req
180. but since this is January,
a month which, to my knowledge,Copy !req
181. contains no Halloweens,
I have no choice but to—Copy !req
182. Wait! Wait.Copy !req
183. What if my clown dentists
put on a show?Copy !req
184. A delightful, whimsical,
non-terrifying clown-stravaganza?Copy !req
185. You would have to agreeCopy !req
186. we were a legitimate
business then, right?Copy !req
187. - Go on.
- Give us a week. We'll put on a show.Copy !req
188. If you don't laugh,
I'll dissolve the businessCopy !req
189. and release all my clown dentists
into the woods,Copy !req
190. where they'll never bother anyone again.Copy !req
191. All right.Copy !req
192. You have one week to create a show
that delights and astonishes me.Copy !req
193. But I should warn you,
I am a very tough crowd.Copy !req
194. I once met Paul Rudd at a cocktail party
and I did not find him charming.Copy !req
195. Ooh!Copy !req
196. Excuse me.Copy !req
197. - Get outta my way.
- Like, hooked in a funny way.Copy !req
198. You call that funny?
That's not funny. It's sad.Copy !req
199. Well, some would argue
that sad and funnyCopy !req
200. are two sides of the same coin.Copy !req
201. Uh, no! Abraham Lincoln
and some weird flat houseCopy !req
202. are two sides of the same coin.Copy !req
203. Take five, Picarello.Copy !req
204. I've got a week
to whip these dentists into clowns.Copy !req
205. But they're just not silly or wackyCopy !req
206. or prone to kooky hijinks of any kind!Copy !req
207. Should you be drinking that?Copy !req
208. - Why not? I got no baby or boyfriend.
- Might as well get blotto, right?Copy !req
209. - Um, shouldn't you be at work?
- I'm recal-bibrating.Copy !req
210. Oh!Copy !req
211. Ohh...Copy !req
212. Hey, maybe you should—Copy !req
213. Judah, look at my phone! Judah!Copy !req
214. You have a meeting with Flip McVicker.Copy !req
215. Tell his gal I'm running ten minutes late.Copy !req
216. What gal?Copy !req
217. - So, you're a writer?
- Oh, actually that's a typo.Copy !req
218. It should say "Waiter."Copy !req
219. - But I'm an aspiring writer.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
220. Sorry, that was a joke.Copy !req
221. That's the kind of witty repartee
you can expect from—Copy !req
222. Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for the business card.Copy !req
223. Wait, ya know,Copy !req
224. - I have this idea for a TV show.
- Oh?Copy !req
225. It's a grizzled former detective
who gets sucked back in—Copy !req
226. This sounds fabulous.Copy !req
227. Why don't you write a script,
we'll go from there?Copy !req
228. - I already wrote it. Boom.
- Oh, you brought it with you.Copy !req
229. I don't trust email.
You know, the government.Copy !req
230. Yeah. Look, Flip, before I even read this,Copy !req
231. I should tell you
that this town's a total crapshoot.Copy !req
232. Odds of the right person
finding your materialCopy !req
233. and connecting with it
are a million to... one.Copy !req
234. I just know I have this great potential
inside me. I know I can do it.Copy !req
235. Even if no one else understands
or believes in me.Copy !req
236. I'm sure that sounds pretty stupid but...Copy !req
237. It's not stupid. I believe in you.Copy !req
238. I don't know how else to describe itCopy !req
239. other than this feeling
of supreme warmth came over me,Copy !req
240. like this is what I've been waiting for
my whole life.Copy !req
241. That's amazing!Copy !req
242. Todd, the world is dark and scary
and full of creepy clown dentists...Copy !req
243. They're working very hard
to be less creepy.Copy !req
244. But when I hold this script in my hands,
I have hope.Copy !req
245. I gotta get this made.
What do I always say?Copy !req
246. "What's the difference
between an agent and a manager?"Copy !req
247. Uh, managers are always
talking about the differencesCopy !req
248. between agents and managers
and agents don't as much?Copy !req
249. No! Managers can produce!
This script is a sign.Copy !req
250. I gotta get off my ass
and produce this baby.Copy !req
251. Todd?Copy !req
252. Get me a meeting with Turtletaub.
Set something up with his gal.Copy !req
253. Who is this gal?Copy !req
254. Okay. Clentists, assemble!Copy !req
255. Wipe those serious looks
off your faces and listen up!Copy !req
256. We gotta help Princess Carolyn,Copy !req
257. but also we gotta prep
for our big show next week.Copy !req
258. If only there was a way
to do both at once.Copy !req
259. What a ludicrous notion!Copy !req
260. Doctor Picarello,
we might make a clown out of you yet!Copy !req
261. Oh, joy!Copy !req
262. Special delivery.Copy !req
263. This next part is critical. Remain wacky.
This is a highly frivolous situation!Copy !req
264. - What's in the package?
- It's a hand delivery item.Copy !req
265. Hey!Copy !req
266. - Now, Doctor Boing Boing!
- I am in position.Copy !req
267. All right, Princess Carolyn, sit tight.Copy !req
268. Whoa!Copy !req
269. before, so it's really the avocado
thing that I have a problem with.Copy !req
270. Target is acquired.Copy !req
271. Deliver the goods,
Doctor Boing Boing!Copy !req
272. Ah!Copy !req
273. It's sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-showtime!Copy !req
274. - Whoa!
- Oh!Copy !req
275. - Princess Carolyn!
- Lenny, thanks for making time.Copy !req
276. Didn't realize I had.Copy !req
277. Are you drunk?Copy !req
278. You smell like somebody
tried to put out a fireCopy !req
279. at the booze factory with more booze.Copy !req
280. Uh, new perfume, "Sealist," by Seal.Copy !req
281. Now let's get to brass stacks.Copy !req
282. So it's a hot young writer.
It's TV. It's me producing.Copy !req
283. - "TV?"
- Just look at this script.Copy !req
284. I know it's gonna knock your socks off.Copy !req
285. Eh...Copy !req
286. Know that website,
"What-time-is-it-right-now-dot-com,"Copy !req
287. you go to when you want
to know what time it is?Copy !req
288. Yeah.Copy !req
289. They look to make a play
in the gritty prestige streaming world,Copy !req
290. and it could make a big splash
with a huge ad buy.Copy !req
291. Plus, you got the built-in audience
who don't know what time it is.Copy !req
292. That's huge! That's so many people!Copy !req
293. Yeah, yeah, this could be perfect
as their first series,Copy !req
294. but we'd have to get in fast.Copy !req
295. They wanna premiere
before Daylight Savings.Copy !req
296. Let's set the pitch for next week.Copy !req
297. Philbert? Who's Philbert?Copy !req
298. He's this grizzled
but very good-looking detectiveCopy !req
299. who gets sucked back in to something.Copy !req
300. No, I mean who is he?Copy !req
301. - You got a star attached?
- Not yet, but...Copy !req
302. Eh, we can't go in without a big name.Copy !req
303. TV pitching is like the Israeli flag,
it's nothing without a big star.Copy !req
304. Sorry, Princess Carolyn.Copy !req
305. No! Fish!Copy !req
306. Oh, whoa... ooh, spinny.Copy !req
307. Uh-oh! She is out like sauerkraut.Copy !req
308. Don't let Turtletaub
get back to his office.Copy !req
309. This sounds like a job
for the "Waltz of the Rubber Chicken"!Copy !req
310. Doctor Picarello,
you gotta revive Princess Carolyn.Copy !req
311. Give her ten cc's of honka-honka.Copy !req
312. Stat!Copy !req
313. Oh!Copy !req
314. Hey! Hey! Pardon me. Excuse me!Copy !req
315. - Oh! Allow me to lead, my lady.
- Wow.Copy !req
316. - What the shell is this?
- So beautiful.Copy !req
317. It says so much
without saying anything at all.Copy !req
318. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
319. Okay, okay, how about Aaron Eckhart?Copy !req
320. He owes me a favor
and he can disappear into any role.Copy !req
321. Yeah, he can disappear so good,
the audience disappears with him.Copy !req
322. - Tony Shalhoub!
- Tony Sha-who-ub?Copy !req
323. This is
"What-time-is-it-right-now-dot-com,"Copy !req
324. not "What-time-is-it-fifteen-years-agoCopy !req
325. - dot-Geocities-dot-com-
slash- Monk -fanpage."Copy !req
326. Please. I need this so bad.
You don't understand.Copy !req
327. - This project is my ba...
- my ba...Copy !req
328. - It's my baby.
- Well, if you can't attach a real star,Copy !req
329. - your baby's dead.
- No!Copy !req
330. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
331. There's gotta be a name
that does something for you.Copy !req
332. Uh, Jack Huston... Hugh... Hugh Jackman.Copy !req
333. - BoJack Horseman!
- There's someone...Copy !req
334. - Corbin Bernsen.
- No.Copy !req
335. - Ben Mendelsohn.
- No, no, no. Hold on.Copy !req
336. - BoJack. That's an idea.
- Yeah, yeah, sure. A BoJack-type.Copy !req
337. I swore I'd never work
with that asshole again,Copy !req
338. but you gotta admit he's got heat.Copy !req
339. Star of Secretariat,
disappears for a year,Copy !req
340. shows up again to do one episode
of a reality show about butts.Copy !req
341. Right, but—Copy !req
342. And then you get him playing
a rich, complex anti-hero like Philbert,Copy !req
343. now there's a show that screams,
"What time is it right now?"Copy !req
344. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.Copy !req
345. I'm saying, there are a lotta guys...Copy !req
346. P.C., can you get me BoJack or not?Copy !req
347. - Of course I can.
- I'll send over a contract, iron-clad.Copy !req
348. I don't want to risk that jerkwad
skipping town again.Copy !req
349. - Make sure he signs it before the pitch.
- Uh, will do.Copy !req
350. And, uh, go easy on the sauce, huh, kid?
Sloppy don't suit you.Copy !req
351. Ah, I got that damn thing
stuck in my head.Copy !req
352. Guys, that was amazing!Copy !req
353. But if we're going to convince Yolanda
we're ready for the big top,Copy !req
354. we need to really hunker down
over the next weekCopy !req
355. and put together a show
so undeniably hilariousCopy !req
356. and life-affirming,
that she has no choice but to say...Copy !req
357. Wow! What a great show!
Okay, you can keep your business...Copy !req
358. - Hooray!
- Perfect!Copy !req
359. is what I would say
if you'd put on a good show.Copy !req
360. Just so you understand the rubric
when I declare my actual reaction,Copy !req
361. which is: "I did not enjoy that."Copy !req
362. Oh, no! My hooray was premature!Copy !req
363. So I must recommend that
you dissolve this venture immediately.Copy !req
364. All right, you heard the lady.
Get into the car, everyone.Copy !req
365. I'm taking you to the woods,
out by the old abandoned insane asylum,Copy !req
366. near the elementary school
where you belong.Copy !req
367. Hey, so I'm taking
the rest of the day off.Copy !req
368. What? Why?Copy !req
369. Just don't feel like working right now,Copy !req
370. so I think if I force it,
I'm just gonna do a bad job.Copy !req
371. Thank you, Stuart.Copy !req
372. But I did want to remind you
about that bitch meeting you haveCopy !req
373. - this afternoon at that clock website.
- You mean the pitch meeting.Copy !req
374. Pretty sure it said "bitch" meeting
on the calendar.Copy !req
375. Seemed a little harsh.
I could go double-check,Copy !req
376. but the calendar's
all the way downstairs so...Copy !req
377. - No, Stuart. Thank you.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
378. - What?
- Hey, BoJack, great news!Copy !req
379. - Bad time. Can't talk.
- Wait, just listen for a...Copy !req
380. Okay.Copy !req
381. Here we go, baby.Copy !req
382. Oh, man!
You are not finding what you need!Copy !req
383. The deck is a harsh mistress, Tina.
Hollyhock, you gotta get in here!Copy !req
384. Tina is drawing so many cards.
It's amazing.Copy !req
385. Hollyhock! Hollyhock?Copy !req
386. Hollyhock?Copy !req
387. That's her name?Copy !req
388. Yes, for the third time,
her name is "Hollyhock."Copy !req
389. And her last name?Copy !req
390. Manheim-Mannheim, uh, Steamroller...Copy !req
391. Is there more?Copy !req
392. I think there's a Lopez
in the mix somewhere?Copy !req
393. A Chung maybe?Copy !req
394. I'm sorry, sir, I can't help you.Copy !req
395. Okay, just... any information
you can give meCopy !req
396. on the 17-year-old horse girl
who came here by ambulanceCopy !req
397. 15 minutes ago would be
of interest to my friend,Copy !req
398. Mr. Franklin's... friend, Mr. Hamilton.Copy !req
399. If you can't prove you're
her parent or legal guardian,Copy !req
400. I can't release any information to you.Copy !req
401. - Guerrero!
- What?Copy !req
402. Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero...
Robinson...Copy !req
403. Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzarelli-McQuack.
That's her name.Copy !req
404. And she's about five-eight.Copy !req
405. And she's 17,
her birthday is in September.Copy !req
406. And... she looks like me.Copy !req
407. And she loves apples
but hates apple sauce.Copy !req
408. And she's funny.Copy !req
409. But she isn't mean.
Which is pretty remarkable,Copy !req
410. 'cause a lot of 17-year-olds think
you have to be mean to be funny,Copy !req
411. but Hollyhock is very sweet,Copy !req
412. even if she can be sarcastic.Copy !req
413. But she has this smile with...Copy !req
414. Does that help?Copy !req
415. No, man.
Are you her legal guardian?Copy !req
416. I'm not leaving here
until I get to see her.Copy !req
417. Have a seat.Copy !req
418. Well, I don't like
pedophile murderer hands,Copy !req
419. but I also don't like people
talking trash about avocados.Copy !req
420. This is a real head-scratcher for me.Copy !req
421. I mean, what's next?
The grief for every meal...Copy !req
422. - She'll be fine.
- Huh?Copy !req
423. We have to think
what's best for Hollyhock.Copy !req
424. - Hollyhock is going to be okay.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
425. Did you say Hollyhock? Are you...Copy !req
426. Jose Guerrero.Copy !req
427. Hello, yes! Yeah. Thank God you're here.
I'm BoJack Horseman.Copy !req
428. Yeah, we know.
I'm her dad, Steve Mannheim.Copy !req
429. I'm the wrong Mannheim to mess with.Copy !req
430. I'm Dashawn Manheim.Copy !req
431. I'm probably
the right Manheim to mess with,Copy !req
432. unless we're talking about
a dance battle, in which case...Copy !req
433. Five, six, seven, eight. Ha!Copy !req
434. - You've been warned.
- Okay. Yep.Copy !req
435. Cupe Robinson III.
I think you're just ghastly,Copy !req
436. and I was against
this whole caper from the bell.Copy !req
437. - Okay.
- Otto Zilberschlag.Copy !req
438. Uh, formerly a huge fan.Copy !req
439. - Now... just a regular fan.
- Got it.Copy !req
440. I know of you,
but not through your work.Copy !req
441. - Okay.
- I'm Gregory Hsung.Copy !req
442. I only watch foreign films.
That's my deal.Copy !req
443. Arturo Fonzarelli, but I'm pretty cool
so people call me the "Ice Man."Copy !req
444. And I'm Quackers!Copy !req
445. - Quack, quack, quack!
- Easy, Quackers.Copy !req
446. How's Hollyhock?
They wouldn't give me information.Copy !req
447. - Why would they? You're not her dad.
- No, I know. I just... Is she okay?Copy !req
448. She will be.
The doctor said she's lucky to be alive.Copy !req
449. What happened?Copy !req
450. - She overdosed.
- What? No.Copy !req
451. How could you let this happen?
Quack, quack!Copy !req
452. - Quackers! Settle down.
- What was she on? I had no idea.Copy !req
453. You had no idea?Copy !req
454. Have you looked at her?
She's as thin as a pole.Copy !req
455. You know I don't care
for your Polish jokes, Dashawn.Copy !req
456. She told us you were
taking care of her.Copy !req
457. - I was.
- I knew she was too youngCopy !req
458. to be on her own like this.Copy !req
459. She's a child!Copy !req
460. She called Pedro Almodóvar's
I'm So Excited "excessively kitsch."Copy !req
461. - Kitsch is excessive! That's the point!
- Can I see her? Can I talk to her?Copy !req
462. - You're lucky we don't call the police!
- Quack, quack.Copy !req
463. Our kid got hooked on amphetamines
because of you!Copy !req
464. - No, I didn't...
- Quack, quack, quack, quack.Copy !req
465. Okay, I feel like there's a lot
of male energy right now.Copy !req
466. Why don't I come back in a couple hours?Copy !req
467. Give Hollyhock a chance to rest
before I talk to her.Copy !req
468. Are you insane?
You are never seeing Hollyhock again.Copy !req
469. - Look, if I could just...
- Never.Copy !req
470. - I have four grapefruits.
- Okay.Copy !req
471. Henrietta, would you like a grapefruit?Copy !req
472. I have but four,
but I will share one with you,Copy !req
473. for I am kind and honest.Copy !req
474. No, no. No, no, no.Copy !req
475. Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, God.Copy !req
476. - Where's the girl?
- She's gone, Mom.Copy !req
477. Oh, yes, I took her, didn't I?
Where did I put her?Copy !req
478. Oh, Henrietta,
would you help me pack this?Copy !req
479. - I want to bring it to my son.
- Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
480. - It's for my son.
- Right. How did I not see it?Copy !req
481. All this time, I thought
you were a terrible parent.Copy !req
482. And you were.
But I blew it even worse.Copy !req
483. It turns out being a parent is impossible,
so I guess I can't be that mad at you.Copy !req
484. Mad at me? No, Henrietta,
this is the right thing. You'll see.Copy !req
485. Maybe we deserve each other.Copy !req
486. Where is the girl?
I made the girl coffee.Copy !req
487. Jesus, you two and your coffee.Copy !req
488. Wait. No.Copy !req
489. Oh!Copy !req
490. What did you put in this?Copy !req
491. That's an old family secret.Copy !req
492. "Chub-B-Gone?"Copy !req
493. - Takes the pounds right off.
- This whole time.Copy !req
494. Just until she learned to take it herself.Copy !req
495. - Of course it was you.
- Henrietta!Copy !req
496. No. All this "I-don't-know-where-I-amCopy !req
497. or-who-my-son-stuff" is,
is officially not cute anymore.Copy !req
498. You ruined the one good thing I had.Copy !req
499. The one thing I didn't ruin myself,
but of course I didCopy !req
500. because I thought it was a good idea
to give you one more chance.Copy !req
501. - Where is Crackerjack?
- Stop. You are out of chances.Copy !req
502. What?Copy !req
503. Hey, BoJack, great news!Copy !req
504. - Bad time. Can't talk.
- Wait, just listen—Copy !req
505. Thank you for holding,
Mr. Horseman.Copy !req
506. I understand
you're interested in our facilityCopy !req
507. and wanted our first available room.Copy !req
508. No, I said "worst available room."Copy !req
509. FYI, we keep these blinds downCopy !req
510. because the window looks out
at a Dumpster.Copy !req
511. - Noted.
- You know...Copy !req
512. you kick me a little coin right now,Copy !req
513. I can make sure your mother
is very well taken care of.Copy !req
514. Oh! In that case, please watch me
not reach for my wallet.Copy !req
515. Well, this is your life now.
This is what it all added up to.Copy !req
516. You, by yourself, in this room.Copy !req
517. Best of luck. See ya never.Copy !req
518. Who is that?Copy !req
519. Ugh. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
520. BoJack?Copy !req