1. Why do I have to go to this thing?
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2. If we want to be
a legitimate awards contender,
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3. Secretariat needs to make an appearance
at a big festival.
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4. - I can't just go to Cannes?
- You Cannes not.
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5. Apparently, the French do not care for you
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6. ever since you said that thing
in the press.
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7. Hey, I stand by my critique of Sartre.
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8. His philosophical arguments helped
tyrannical regimes justify overt cruelty.
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9. Also, the French smell and I hate them.
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10. And you can't go to Sundance
because Robert Redford hates you.
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11. Someone had to tell him
The Horse Whisperer was offensive.
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12. Sorry, but real horses don't just do
whatever someone says.
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13. And that's why you need to go
to this festival.
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14. If you say so.
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15. The Pacific Ocean Film Fest, or POFF,
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16. is the biggest underwater film festival
in the world.
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17. You make a splash there,
people are going to notice.
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18. Fine.
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19. All you need to do is get
to the premiere on time, 8:00.
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20. Walk the red carpet, wave at the crowd,
kiss some fish babies.
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21. Fish. They're so annoying.
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22. - Sorry, lady. No habla fish talk.
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23. You need to be sensitive to their culture.
Things are different down there.
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24. You know what a thumb's up means, right?
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25. Yes, I know what a thumb's up means.
I'll be fine.
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26. Oh, I wanted to warn you.
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27. Kelsey Jannings
is also going to be at the festival.
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28. - Kelsey? No.
- She has another film there.
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29. I haven't talked to her
since she got fired from Secretariat.
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30. Well, luckily you won't have to talk much
because you'll both be underwater.
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31. God, I haven't been underwater
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32. since my mother tried to drown me
in the bathtub when I was 22.
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33. I can't do this, Ana. I'm sorry.
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34. - Sir.
- I'm getting off.
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35. You can't.
We've already pressurized the cabin.
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36. - Sir, please return to your seat.
- No. I don't want to do this.
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37. You can't make me.
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38. I'm a land creature.
I don't belong down there.
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39. You can lead me to water,
but you cannot make—
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40. - Aaaah!
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41. - Mm-hmm.
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42. Uh-oh!
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43. - Hey, move it, buddy.
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44. - What are you, deaf?
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45. - Oh, you have got to be kidding—
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