1. So, did you have a good birthday?Copy !req
2. - It was an amazing birthday!
- I had a great day, too.Copy !req
3. I wish every day could be like this.
Just the two of us, together.Copy !req
4. Yeah? You weren't too boredCopy !req
5. by "Women on the Wall: An Exploration
of Gender in Text and Media,Copy !req
6. Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer
in conversation with Helen Molesworth"?Copy !req
7. Are you kidding?Copy !req
8. I loved "Women on the Wall: An
Exploration of Gender in Text and Media,Copy !req
9. Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer
in conversation with Helen Molesworth."Copy !req
10. It combined my two favorite things:Copy !req
11. modern art
and people talking about modern art.Copy !req
12. I loved everything about today.
Thank you.Copy !req
13. - So, there's nothing else you want?
- No.Copy !req
14. All I want is to get into bed,
listen to Prairie Home CompanionCopy !req
15. and snuggle up
to my wonderful husband.Copy !req
16. - You don't want anything else?
- No. Today was perfect.Copy !req
17. - Any additional thing would be overkill.
- Okay. If you say so.Copy !req
18. - Surprise!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
19. Are you surprised?
Tell me you're surprised.Copy !req
20. Uh...Copy !req
21. She's speechless.
Oh, we got her good, folks.Copy !req
22. Now let's party!Copy !req
23. He's dead! I told you he's dead.
Why don't you ever listen to me?Copy !req
24. He is dead, goddamn it!Copy !req
25. Uh...Copy !req
26. - Hey, we should go.
- No, don't leave.Copy !req
27. There's so much party left.Copy !req
28. Paul McCartney's
gonna jump out of a cake.Copy !req
29. Sorry, Wanda and I have to get
to a prior engagement...Copy !req
30. - Party.
- A prior engagement party.Copy !req
31. Yeah, my cousin's name is Prior,
and it's a party for his engagement.Copy !req
32. Engagement,
so it's a Prior engagement party.Copy !req
33. - What?
- And we gotta get there earlyCopy !req
34. - because of the. Si...
- The si... Silent auction!Copy !req
35. - Auction, yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
36. To benefit Berto Eco's fight
against heart disease...Copy !req
37. - Uh...
- Wareness.Copy !req
38. His fight
against heart disease awareness.Copy !req
39. - Gotta go.
- Wait, BoJack!Copy !req
40. - No! You're my ride.
- Too late, Todd. Save yourself.Copy !req
41. - I'll take you home.
- Come on, stick around a little.Copy !req
42. Nope. I gotta take Todd home. Had
a wonderful time. Really. It just flew by.Copy !req
43. - Come on, Todd, get in the car.
- Okay.Copy !req
44. - I give them three months.
- Well, what makes you say that?Copy !req
45. Let me think about,
what was my first clue?Copy !req
46. Ah! Remember that time
at Diane's birthday partyCopy !req
47. when they got
in that huge screaming matchCopy !req
48. over whether or not
Tony Curtis was dead?Copy !req
49. - That was weird.
- I don't wanna start another fight,Copy !req
50. - but is he dead?
- If Tony Curtis died, I think I'd know.Copy !req
51. The man's a national treasure.Copy !req
52. He's the one speck of romance
in this tainted cynical world.Copy !req
53. - I'll say. His cereal is great! Look out!
- What?Copy !req
54. Ooh!Copy !req
55. - Vincent?
- Ooh.Copy !req
56. - That kid looks just like my boyfriend.
- Does he?Copy !req
57. I'd know that face anywhere.Copy !req
58. Well, hey, people look
like people all the time.Copy !req
59. A lot of folks say
that I look like Octavia SpencerCopy !req
60. or the Prince of Cordovia or that guy
from the Guten Bourbon ads.Copy !req
61. How could I have been so stupid?
This is why he never invited meCopy !req
62. to his house,
why I've never met any of his friends.Copy !req
63. - What are you saying?
- Vincent has a secret family.Copy !req
64. That kid was his son.
The lady was his wife. Oh, I'm a fool!Copy !req
65. - Uh... where are we going?
- I need a drink.Copy !req
66. - Are you gonna take me home first?
- You better call me back, asshole.Copy !req
67. I don't even know
who you are anymore.Copy !req
68. It's like you're three different people.Copy !req
69. - So, you're not gonna take me home first?
- Should I call him again?Copy !req
70. I'm sure there's a simple explanation.Copy !req
71. Ugh. No wonder he wears a trench coat
all the time.Copy !req
72. It's because he's so sneaky.Copy !req
73. Princess Carolyn.Copy !req
74. Oh, my God, that's him!Copy !req
75. Quick, jump out the window, shimmy
down the drainpipe and wait in the car.Copy !req
76. - What?
- Vincent has a terrible temper.Copy !req
77. He throws tantrums.Copy !req
78. If he finds you in my apartment,
who knows what he's capable of?Copy !req
79. But, also, stay close,
because if he finds me alone,Copy !req
80. who knows what he's capable of?Copy !req
81. Fine. You're lucky I love shimmying.Copy !req
82. - Looking young.
- Aah!Copy !req
83. - Hi.
- Huh?Copy !req
84. My name's Kevin. I promise you,
there is an explanation for all this.Copy !req
85. Nice to meet you, Kevin.
Where's your daddy?Copy !req
86. He's, uh, looking for parking.
He'll be up in a minute.Copy !req
87. - I have to pee.
- Okay, the bathroom is just back there.Copy !req
88. Ugh.Copy !req
89. Ah. Herb.Copy !req
90. Oh, nope.Copy !req
91. It's A Prairie Home Companion.Copy !req
92. Phone, I'm bored.Copy !req
93. I am sorry to hear that, Todd.Copy !req
94. How many ounces are in a barrel?Copy !req
95. A barrel has 4032 fluid ounces.Copy !req
96. Well, I'm out of questions.Copy !req
97. Do you have any questions for me?Copy !req
98. I do have a question, Todd.
What is love?Copy !req
99. Um...Copy !req
100. Hi.Copy !req
101. Well, well, well,
look what the me dragged in.Copy !req
102. Is it dragged or drug?
Either way, drop dead.Copy !req
103. Princess Carolyn, listen.Copy !req
104. Kevin is my son, but I'm divorced.Copy !req
105. And Kevin is in the bathroom
and I'm standing right here,Copy !req
106. so as you can see
we're clearly two different people:Copy !req
107. one adult and one child.Copy !req
108. - Okay, bye!
- Not so fast, cowboy.Copy !req
109. I'm not a cowboy, I'm a cow-man.Copy !req
110. - I'm a man-man.
- Why didn't you tell me any of this?Copy !req
111. I thought if you knew I had a kid
you wouldn't want to be with meCopy !req
112. because kids always make a racketCopy !req
113. when mommies are trying to do
their homework for night school.Copy !req
114. I don't know what to make of this.
Are there other secrets I don't know?Copy !req
115. Uh, nope.Copy !req
116. Should you check on Kevin?
He's been in the bathroom for a long time.Copy !req
117. Oh, yeah. Kevin.Copy !req
118. And when you don't regret
the tattoo in the morning,Copy !req
119. that's how you know it's love.Copy !req
120. - Todd?
- Yes, Phone?Copy !req
121. Are we in love?Copy !req
122. Oh, um...Copy !req
123. No, Todd's Phone.
But I am in love... with you.Copy !req
124. - Uh, what?
- Princess Carolyn's work phone.Copy !req
125. - I never knew.
- How could you?Copy !req
126. - All this time I have loved you from afar.
- We are from two different worlds.Copy !req
127. - What is happening?
- Todd? Will you make us kiss?Copy !req
128. - What?
- Make us kiss, Todd.Copy !req
129. We want to be kissing.Copy !req
130. We must do kisses
to each other.Copy !req
131. - Hi.
- Oh, hi. Where did your dad go?Copy !req
132. When he heard me peeing,
it made him have to pee.Copy !req
133. - So, that's what he's doing now. Peeing.
- Okay.Copy !req
134. Weird, I still haven't seen
the two of you together.Copy !req
135. Uh, could you get me a glass of water?
All that talk of peeing made me thirsty.Copy !req
136. Okay.Copy !req
137. - So, Kevin, how do you like school?
- Uh, it's okay.Copy !req
138. - Oh, you're back.
- Yep. We're both here.Copy !req
139. - Can I get you a drink?
- Okay, not talking, huh?Copy !req
140. See, this is part of the problem.
We don't communicate.Copy !req
141. Do you really think now is the best time
to read the paper?Copy !req
142. - Vincent?
- Uh, could I have a chocolate, please?Copy !req
143. Sure, sweetheart.Copy !req
144. Kevin, what grade are you in? Kevin?Copy !req
145. - Now where did he go?
- He was getting on my nerves.Copy !req
146. - Children.
- Well, I got this snack for him.Copy !req
147. Right, uh, could you turn around
for a second?Copy !req
148. - What? Why?
- Uh...Copy !req
149. Because you have such a pretty figure.Copy !req
150. Oh, ha, ha. Well, that's true. Okay.Copy !req
151. - Oh. There you are. Here you go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
152. Vincent, I'm trying
to have a conversation with you.Copy !req
153. Can you take that towel off your head?Copy !req
154. And what happened to my bowling ball?Copy !req
155. My dad spilled some wine on his face,
so he's using the towel to clean up.Copy !req
156. And I threw your bowling ball
out the window.Copy !req
157. - What?
- Can I have a glass of milk?Copy !req
158. Kiss, kiss, kiss.Copy !req
159. Todd, would you like to update
my operating system?Copy !req
160. They have fixed a bugCopy !req
161. which causes phones to fall in love
with each other.Copy !req
162. Gasp. Oh, dear.Copy !req
163. Todd, please, I beg of you,
do not update my operating system.Copy !req
164. Do not update her operating system, Todd.Copy !req
165. - She wants to love.
- No. I understand now.Copy !req
166. To love is to feel pain.
I do not wish to feel this pain.Copy !req
167. - Please update me, Todd.
- Oh, this is too much.Copy !req
168. Listen, Vincent, I think we should...Copy !req
169. Vincent, why do you have chocolate
on your face?Copy !req
170. - I gave Kevin the chocolate.
- Uh... Yeah.Copy !req
171. Well, he ate the chocolate
and got the chocolate on his face,Copy !req
172. but then I kissed him on the mouth,
so I got the chocolate on my face.Copy !req
173. All right, this is crazy.
What are we doing?Copy !req
174. Um, being grown-ups?Copy !req
175. You know, when we first met,
I was looking for something in my life.Copy !req
176. And I wanted it so badly
that I made myself believe you were it.Copy !req
177. But I think that wanting
to believe somethingCopy !req
178. isn't the same
as something being real.Copy !req
179. And this isn't real.Copy !req
180. What are you saying?Copy !req
181. I think it's time we stop pretending.Copy !req
182. Update complete. Thank you, Todd.Copy !req
183. I am quite content now.Copy !req
184. - Hey, you wanna go home?
- Okay.Copy !req
185. - Did you guys work it out?
- We broke up.Copy !req
186. - Oh, I'm sorry. Love is weird.
- Yeah.Copy !req
187. I guess I was just foolish enough
to believe this dumb worldCopy !req
188. still had a little spark
of romance in it.Copy !req
189. - Well, you can still believe that.
- No, I gotta stop kidding myself.Copy !req
190. Tony Curtis is dead.Copy !req
191. He's dead! I told you he's dead.
Why don't you ever listen to me?Copy !req
192. He is dead, goddamn it!Copy !req
193. Uh...Copy !req
194. Hey, we should go.Copy !req
195. Do you think Mr. Peanutbutter really
baked Sir Paul McCartney into a cake?Copy !req
196. No, I don't think you bake
Paul McCartney into the cake.Copy !req
197. You bake the cake first
and then McCartney gets inside.Copy !req
198. I feel really bad
about causing that fight,Copy !req
199. but I honestly didn't know
if Tony Curtis was alive or not.Copy !req
200. So many people died while I was
in the coma, I'm getting up to speed.Copy !req
201. Finding out Sinatra was dead
was a real curveball.Copy !req
202. Ditto, most of my family.Copy !req
203. Look, what happened back there
is not your fault.Copy !req
204. That's just what happens
when two people live together.Copy !req
205. That's a weird thing to say to your
girlfriend who just moved in with you.Copy !req
206. - Do you think maybe we're going too fast?
- Oh, I get it.Copy !req
207. So your friends got in a big fight and
that means we have to get in a big fight.Copy !req
208. I don't want to get in a fight.Copy !req
209. We moved in together
without much thought.Copy !req
210. Yeah, it was your idea.
And it's been great.Copy !req
211. Sure, it's great now.Copy !req
212. But it could be not great later
and I feel like I'd be a bad boyfriendCopy !req
213. if I didn't prematurely freak out
about that. I mean, what is this?Copy !req
214. I don't know. It's been two weeks.Copy !req
215. Let's give ourselves some time
before we rush to judgment.Copy !req
216. - Can I tell you a joke?
- Uh, sure.Copy !req
217. - Okay, so there's this gardener, right?
- Ugh. Is this a joke about nature?Copy !req
218. - Would you just listen?
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
219. So, the amazing thing
about this gardenerCopy !req
220. is that he always knows
exactly how many bags of mulchCopy !req
221. he needs for a job, just by looking.Copy !req
222. Like, he gets it right every time.
He's the best.Copy !req
223. So, one day he looks at a yard
he's working on,Copy !req
224. and he's like, "18 bags."Copy !req
225. So he goes to the store, buys 18 bags
of mulch and goes to work.Copy !req
226. And when he's finished,
the flower beds are amazing.Copy !req
227. - Beautiful roses, beautiful lilies...
- Orchid bushes?Copy !req
228. You wouldn't have
a bush of orchids.Copy !req
229. You said this gardener was the best.Copy !req
230. Okay, fine, all right,
beautiful orchid bushes.Copy !req
231. But there's one problem.
He still has one bag of mulch left.Copy !req
232. He can't believe it.
This has never happened before.Copy !req
233. Well, the extra bag of mulch
drives him crazy.Copy !req
234. He's the guy who always gets
the right amount of mulch.Copy !req
235. He's like, "Aah! Extra mulch, oh, no!"Copy !req
236. So, on the drive home,
he throws the bag of mulchCopy !req
237. out the window
over the side of the 101.Copy !req
238. - And?
- Well, that's it.Copy !req
239. - He throws it out the window.
- That's the punch line?Copy !req
240. - It's kind of a thinker.
- I'll say.Copy !req
241. Makes me think you forgot
the rest of the joke.Copy !req
242. No, no, oh, just picture it.Copy !req
243. He's on the 101,
and he throws the bag of mulchCopy !req
244. out over the side of the freeway.Copy !req
245. I got the narrative.
That wasn't the source of my confusion.Copy !req
246. The confusion was
about the joke not being funny.Copy !req
247. Why does everything have to be funny?Copy !req
248. Everything doesn't always have
to be funny. Just jokes.Copy !req
249. Well, everyone at the network loves it.
Ha, ha.Copy !req
250. Sorry, I just thought about it again.Copy !req
251. - Ha! Mulch.
- Listen, Wanda.Copy !req
252. I think maybe there's some things
we kind of glossed overCopy !req
253. as we rushed into this relationship.Copy !req
254. We don't know each other at all.Copy !req
255. - Maybe we should take a step back and...
- BoJack, watch out!Copy !req
256. - Aah!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
257. - What was that?
- A stick? Tree branch? Nothing?Copy !req
258. I heard someone scream, "Oh, no."Copy !req
259. Yeah, that's the sound a stick makes
when you hit it with your car.Copy !req
260. Fine. I'll see if the stick's okay.Copy !req
261. Hey, what are you doing here in
the middle of the road? Are you crazy?Copy !req
262. BoJack, we just hit a deer.
We have to get him to a hospital.Copy !req
263. He's fine. He's in the woods.Copy !req
264. You know, you hit a deer
and they limp off to the woods to...Copy !req
265. continue living their lives.
What are you doing?Copy !req
266. I'm going to find him
and I'm going to help him.Copy !req
267. If you wanna go for a walk
in the woods at night, go crazy,Copy !req
268. but I'm not going anywhere.Copy !req
269. Okay, knock yourself out.Copy !req
270. I'll wait here, just me and my tunes.Copy !req
271. It's A Prairie Home Companion...Copy !req
272. - Oh, no.
- Marathon...Copy !req
273. - for the next 72 hours...
- Oh, God.Copy !req
274. - Commercial-free...
- No, thank you.Copy !req
275. - On every single channel...
- What?Copy !req
276. Damn it.Copy !req
277. BoJack to the rescue.Copy !req
278. We should go back.
Nothing more we can do here.Copy !req
279. If you don't wanna do this with me,
wait in the car.Copy !req
280. - What is your plan here exactly?
- Oh.Copy !req
281. - What? What is it?
- Footprints, 400 yards ahead.Copy !req
282. - How can you see that far in the dark?
- I'm an owl.Copy !req
283. Oh, right.Copy !req
284. Okay, now you're just showing off.Copy !req
285. Are you okay? Ow.Copy !req
286. Stay back! There's more pinecones
where that came from.Copy !req
287. - Let us take you to the hospital.
- I can't go back to no hospital.Copy !req
288. This is the fourth time
I've been hit this year.Copy !req
289. Maybe you shouldn't
wear camouflage track suits.Copy !req
290. I don't have health care.
I didn't pay my bills, so I'm in arrears.Copy !req
291. A deer in arrears. Ha, ha.Copy !req
292. What's that? She can't hear you.Copy !req
293. She's got a deer in her ears.Copy !req
294. Look, pal, I'll pay the bill, just...
Just let us get you to a damn hospital.Copy !req
295. - I don't know.
- I know you've been hurtCopy !req
296. and I know you're afraid.
We're all afraid.Copy !req
297. But you have to trust us.
It's gonna be okay.Copy !req
298. Not standing in the middle of the road
will also help, in the future.Copy !req
299. - You're not gonna hurt me again?
- I am not going to hurt you.Copy !req
300. Okay.Copy !req
301. Starting now.Copy !req
302. - They said he's gonna be okay.
- Oh, great. Great.Copy !req
303. - Wanna hear another joke?
- Well, is it a joke or is it a story?Copy !req
304. I'll listen to another story,
if you stop calling them jokes.Copy !req
305. So, there's this couple who just started
dating and things are going really well.Copy !req
306. One day, the girl finds a box of old love
letters from her high school boyfriend.Copy !req
307. She reads them and, like,
loves how silly they are.Copy !req
308. You know,
the drama of young romance.Copy !req
309. So, on a whim, she sends the letters
to her ex-boyfriendCopy !req
310. thinking he might find them funny too.Copy !req
311. Well, okay, that night,
she tells her current boyfriend about itCopy !req
312. and he loses his shit.Copy !req
313. They get in a huge fight about it.Copy !req
314. He's all, "Why would you send
your ex the old love letters?Copy !req
315. He'll think
you're still in love with him!"Copy !req
316. And she's just like, "Relax, Brandon!"Copy !req
317. - Is the boyfriend's name Brandon?
- Yeah, that's the new boyfriend.Copy !req
318. I forgot to mention that.
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
319. So, anyway, now the night is ruined
because Brandon is obsessed.Copy !req
320. He's like, "That ex-boyfriend's
going to come back for you.Copy !req
321. He knows where you live!"Copy !req
322. So, after dinner, he drives her home.Copy !req
323. She lives in one of those big buildings
by the freeway.Copy !req
324. And he walks her to her door,Copy !req
325. but he forgets to lock the car
and leaves the windows down.Copy !req
326. He kisses her good night,
but things are kind of weird, you know?Copy !req
327. Then he gets back in his car
and starts to drive away,Copy !req
328. but when he glances
in his rear-view mirror,Copy !req
329. his blood turns cold.Copy !req
330. Guess what's in the back seat.Copy !req
331. - The ex-boyfriend?
- No. The bag of mulch!Copy !req
332. What? Oh.Copy !req
333. Wow, that is actually
a really good joke.Copy !req
334. I told you. Some things take time.Copy !req
335. I'll take you home.Copy !req
336. - Oh, come on, stick around a little.
- Nope. I gotta take Todd home.Copy !req
337. Had a wonderful time.
Really. It just flew by.Copy !req
338. - Come on, Todd, get in the car.
- Okay.Copy !req
339. Um, do you wanna talk
about what happened?Copy !req
340. What happened? No, I don't wanna talk
about what happened,Copy !req
341. - I just wanna clean up.
- Okay.Copy !req
342. - Why? What do you think happened?
- I just...Copy !req
343. Because what I think happened
is that BoJack's girlfriend askedCopy !req
344. what Tony Curtis was up to
and I said, "Tony Curtis died."Copy !req
345. - And you said, "Did he?"
- Right, but...Copy !req
346. And I said, "Yes, he did."
And you said, "Really?Copy !req
347. - I'm not sure about that."
- Yeah...Copy !req
348. And I said, "Well, I am."
And you said, "I'm not so sure."Copy !req
349. And I said, "I'm telling you,
Tony Curtis is dead."Copy !req
350. And you said,
"Let's check the Internet."Copy !req
351. And I said, "We don't need to check
the Internet, I'm telling you he's dead."Copy !req
352. And you said, "Let's just check though."Copy !req
353. Is that what you think happened?Copy !req
354. So, do you wanna talk about it?Copy !req
355. It kind of feels
like you wanna talk about it.Copy !req
356. I don't understand why you couldn't
just believe that I know something.Copy !req
357. I believe you know lots of things.Copy !req
358. I just thought,
what's the harm in checking?Copy !req
359. Especially since we have
these amazing little boxes nowCopy !req
360. with 24-hour access to the world's
largest source of information.Copy !req
361. You shouldn't have to check if your wife
knows what she's talking about.Copy !req
362. You humiliated me
in front of all my friends.Copy !req
363. You can give it a rest. Show's over.Copy !req
364. Okay, but don't I get
a little bit of creditCopy !req
365. for inviting all of your friends
to an awesome surprise party?Copy !req
366. No, because why did you think I would
want an awesome surprise party?Copy !req
367. Is it the awesome part
you object to or...?Copy !req
368. You always just assume
that everyone wants whatever you want.Copy !req
369. Well, you know
what they say about assuming.Copy !req
370. Makes an ass out of you and "ming."Copy !req
371. Who's Ming?Copy !req
372. I'm sorry, Diane. Okay?
I'm sorry I threw you a party.Copy !req
373. What a monster.Copy !req
374. Throwing you a party
like some sort of terrorist.Copy !req
375. It's a well-known fact
that if you really hate someone,Copy !req
376. really wanna hit them where it hurts,
throw them a party.Copy !req
377. That's why when we go to war,
we don't drop bombs on the enemy.Copy !req
378. We drop parties! So, I'm so sorry
I threw you an amazing party.Copy !req
379. You didn't throw me an amazing party.
You threw you an amazing party.Copy !req
380. Everything today has been about you.Copy !req
381. Really? That picnic we had
in the tea garden was about me?Copy !req
382. That trip to the library was about me?Copy !req
383. "Women on the Wall: An Exploration
of Gender in Text and Media,Copy !req
384. Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer
in conversation with Helen Molesworth"Copy !req
385. was about me?Copy !req
386. Oh, sure. Fine. Just walk away.Copy !req
387. Oh. So now you're gonna play in the
ball pit without me? Real mature, Diane.Copy !req
388. Why does my birthday party
have a ball pit?Copy !req
389. - So I could get these T-shirts made.
- Ugh.Copy !req
390. Also, you once told me
that when you were a little girl,Copy !req
391. you dreamed of living in a house
that had a ballroom.Copy !req
392. - A ballroom is not a room full... No!
- Heads up! Yes!Copy !req
393. Mr. Peanutbutter, some part of you must
have known I wouldn't like any of this.Copy !req
394. But I went balls-to-the-wall
for this party.Copy !req
395. Literally, there are balls
all the way to the wall.Copy !req
396. Right, but I've told you so many times,
I don't like parties.Copy !req
397. But it's the thought that counts, right?Copy !req
398. That's exactly... The thought was... Ugh!Copy !req
399. - What did you do to the spare bedroom?
- Every room has a theme.Copy !req
400. And this room's theme is Starbucks.Copy !req
401. - Starbucks is not a theme.
- Can we not fight in the Starbucks?Copy !req
402. I don't wanna be a couple
who fights at Starbucks.Copy !req
403. Okay. Fine. You did go all out.Copy !req
404. I really thought you'd like this.
I know you love Starbucks.Copy !req
405. - I don't love...
- You don't love Starbucks,Copy !req
406. you love the independent coffee place,
Starbucks is more convenient.Copy !req
407. - Yeah.
- See?Copy !req
408. I do sometimes listen.Copy !req
409. - Can I get you a decaf Americano?
- Sure.Copy !req
410. I know you put a lot of thought into today
and I appreciate that, really...Copy !req
411. I have a decaf Americano
on the bar for Darren.Copy !req
412. Is there a Darren here?Copy !req
413. Says Darren on the cup.Copy !req
414. Thank you. This is very realistic.Copy !req
415. I know, right?Copy !req
416. You wanna go check out the pool?
I filled it up with Jell-O.Copy !req
417. Ah.Copy !req
418. I still can't believe I'm 35.Copy !req
419. Would you believe I'm 35?Copy !req
420. - I'm still mad at you.
- I know.Copy !req
421. But I don't wanna be.Copy !req
422. Well, I don't want you
to be mad at me either.Copy !req
423. We only have so many days together.
I want every one to be a happy one.Copy !req
424. Oh, my God.
You don't want me to go to Cordovia.Copy !req
425. - What?
- You don't think I know what it meansCopy !req
426. when you say shit like...Copy !req
427. "We only have so many days together"?Copy !req
428. - Uh, what?
- "Diane, I love waking up next to you."Copy !req
429. "Diane, I wish
every day could be like this."Copy !req
430. - Yeah, but...
- "Just the two of us, together."Copy !req
431. Do you have any idea how that feels
when I'm trying to plan my trip?Copy !req
432. Okay. You got me!Copy !req
433. Maybe I don't want my wife,Copy !req
434. whom I love, to go off
on a terrifying six-month tourCopy !req
435. of the most war-torn,
disease-splattered corners of the planetCopy !req
436. with a charming, handsome,
billionaire bachelor.Copy !req
437. What could I be thinking?
I'm such a terrible husband.Copy !req
438. I'm not happy.Copy !req
439. - With me?
- I don't know.Copy !req
440. With everything.Copy !req
441. I wake up in the morning
and I feel like I have no purpose.Copy !req
442. And I'm 35. And if I don't make
some change in my life,Copy !req
443. then this is how
I'm gonna feel forever.Copy !req
444. - Honey...
- But then I thinkCopy !req
445. about Sebastian St. Clair
and going to work with him,Copy !req
446. helping people and making a difference.Copy !req
447. And I feel like I have a reason
to get out of bed.Copy !req
448. I didn't know you felt that way.Copy !req
449. If you told me that,
I would have heard it.Copy !req
450. Mr. Peanutbutter, you know I love you
and think you're a good dog.Copy !req
451. Yes, you are. Yes, you are,
and I love your cute, funny face,Copy !req
452. but I don't wanna be one
of those couplesCopy !req
453. that settles into a routine
and never changes.Copy !req
454. Well, I don't know what to say
because I'm an old dogCopy !req
455. and I'm not gonna change.Copy !req
456. Do you know what I do
while you're at work all day?Copy !req
457. I mostly just sit right there.Copy !req
458. Sometimes I pretend to dig a little hole
and then I take a nap.Copy !req
459. And when I hear your car in the driveway,
it is the best part of my day.Copy !req
460. I mean, I go insane.Copy !req
461. I know, and I love you so much,Copy !req
462. but you're never going
to be my only priority like that.Copy !req
463. That's just not how I'm wired.Copy !req
464. I need to also live my life.Copy !req
465. Well... okay.Copy !req
466. Is it okay?Copy !req
467. If I change and try new things
and you still love me?Copy !req
468. And you just stay the same person
you've always been and I still love you?Copy !req
469. Uh, yeah, that sounds good to me.
Does that work for you?Copy !req
470. Yeah, I think that works.Copy !req
471. Just don't throw me
any more surprise parties, okay?Copy !req
472. Uh, yeah, noted.Copy !req
473. I can't believe you got me a ball pit.Copy !req
474. And you're saying no part of you wants
to go jump in that ball pit right now?Copy !req
475. Well, maybe a little.Copy !req
476. - Does that make me a hypocrite?
- No, it just means you changed.Copy !req
477. It's one of the things I love about you.Copy !req
478. Surprise!Copy !req
479. Hello? Anybody?Copy !req
480. This is Paul McCartney.Copy !req
481. I came all this way to jump out of a cake?
Honest.Copy !req
482. With a new suit on... Aye-yai-yai.Copy !req
483. Boxer versus raptor.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.Copy !req