1. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
2. You said if I was in town
to give you a call.
Copy !req
3. - Wanna get a drink?
- It's eight in the morning.
Copy !req
4. It's 5:00 p.m. in Los Angeles.
Copy !req
5. - That's not true.
- I don't know what time it is.
Copy !req
6. When's the last time you slept?
You look like shit.
Copy !req
7. Really? 'Cause you look like a million...
Copy !req
8. - Yeah, let's get you back to my place.
- What about the store?
Copy !req
9. What if somebody has an emergency
and they need more...
Copy !req
10. turquoise shit?
Copy !req
11. It's New Mexico.
Copy !req
12. They'll find it.
Copy !req
13. - It's really good to see you.
- It's good to see you, too.
Copy !req
14. I can't wait for you
to meet Kyle and the kids.
Copy !req
15. Kyle and the kids? Please tell me
that's the name of your band.
Copy !req
16. So, who are you again?
Copy !req
17. You were friends with Mom
when she lived in L.A.?
Copy !req
18. Your mom never mentioned she used
to hang out with the BoJack Horseman?
Copy !req
19. Star of screen and... book?
Copy !req
20. - Wait, Mom lived in Los Angeles?
- Never came up?
Copy !req
21. - All these years?
- It was a long time ago.
Copy !req
22. Oh, gross. Mom, Trip has a boner again.
Copy !req
23. - Trip.
- Trip, let's dial back the boners.
Copy !req
24. - Gross.
- What? I can't help it.
Copy !req
25. - Trip, ew.
- You are at the breakfast table
Copy !req
26. with your parents, your big sister,
and an old man.
Copy !req
27. - What could possibly be arousing you?
- Am I the old man?
Copy !req
28. I don't understand how it works.
Copy !req
29. I was just excited that I finished
the maze on the back of the cereal box.
Copy !req
30. So, BoJack. What brings you to Tesuque?
Copy !req
31. So, we're just gonna change
the subject
Copy !req
32. and pretend Trip isn't being a huge perv
right now?
Copy !req
33. Yeah, Penny, that's the plan.
Copy !req
34. Talking about it makes it worse.
It likes attention.
Copy !req
35. Charlotte told me if I was ever
in New Mexico
Copy !req
36. - I should call her.
- But what are you doing in New Mexico?
Copy !req
37. - Yeah, what are you doing in New Mexico?
- I, uh...
Copy !req
38. You didn't drive all this way
just to see my mom, did you?
Copy !req
39. No, of course not.
Copy !req
40. That would be crazy,
Copy !req
41. to come all this way just to see a woman
Copy !req
42. I haven't had a real conversation with
in 30 years.
Copy !req
43. - I mean, obviously, that would be crazy.
- Uh...
Copy !req
44. - Because she has a family, which is great.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
45. - You guys are great.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
46. So, I'm just here to, you know, say hello.
Copy !req
47. - Mm.
- On my way to see...
Copy !req
48. - On your way to sea?
- Yes.
Copy !req
49. To the sea. To the shining sea.
Copy !req
50. Because I'm here to buy... a boat.
Copy !req
51. - At the... Santa Fe Boat Show.
- I've never heard of a Santa Fe Boat Show.
Copy !req
52. That's 'cause... it's a secret boat show.
Copy !req
53. - Invitation-only.
- Huh.
Copy !req
54. Mostly athletes and visiting dignitaries
and big-time celebrities and... kings.
Copy !req
55. - Wow.
- Hold up.
Copy !req
56. If you live in Los Angeles,
which is right on the ocean,
Copy !req
57. why would you drive all the way here
to go to a boat show
Copy !req
58. - in the middle of landlocked New Mexico?
- Jeez, so many questions.
Copy !req
59. What is this,
Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities,
Copy !req
60. What Do They Know,
Do They Know Things, Let's Find Out?
Copy !req
61. Oh, gotta take this.
It's my... boat... guy.
Copy !req
62. - Hello?
- Okay, so I got Turtel...
Copy !req
63. Hey, Knute.
Copy !req
64. - You got any leads for me, boat-wise?
- What?
Copy !req
65. Sounds perfect, Knute.
Copy !req
66. - Now tell me, do we need a poop deck?
- Huh?
Copy !req
67. - Well, if Leo has one, then I want one.
- BoJack...
Copy !req
68. In fact, I want two, two poop decks.
Sorry about that. What's going on?
Copy !req
69. - Where the hell are you?
- Tesuque.
Copy !req
70. - Te-who-ka?
- Tesuque, New Mexico.
Copy !req
71. - Outside Santa Fe.
- Are you te-stupid?
Copy !req
72. If you don't get your ass back te-set,
you're gonna get te-sued.
Copy !req
73. - Just get me a couple of days.
- For what? What are you doing there?
Copy !req
74. I don't know, I just...
Copy !req
75. This isn't what I expected.
Copy !req
76. Well, I can probably stave them off
till Monday if you get pinkeye.
Copy !req
77. - Can you get pinkeye?
- I have to go.
Copy !req
78. Wait, BoJack, when are you coming back?
Copy !req
79. Soon. Yep, I want the starboard
Copy !req
80. - to be fully starboard.
- What?
Copy !req
81. - And the port to be... also starboard.
- Huh?
Copy !req
82. - Thanks a lot. Goodbye.
- Wait, BoJack...
Copy !req
83. - Hey.
- I'm really glad you're here.
Copy !req
84. Oh, yeah... uh, me, too.
Copy !req
85. I hope this isn't weird for you.
Copy !req
86. You know, me having a family and...
Copy !req
87. Why would it be weird?
Copy !req
88. At our age,
it's weird if you don't have a family.
Copy !req
89. - I mean...
- Well, not for you.
Copy !req
90. - No.
- 'Cause you've been busy.
Copy !req
91. - Right.
- With your career.
Copy !req
92. Sure, yeah,
my career has kept me super busy.
Copy !req
93. Anyway, I know you're just in town
for the boat show,
Copy !req
94. but seriously... make yourself at home.
Copy !req
95. I really don't want to impose.
Copy !req
96. If there's anything I can do
to help around here...
Copy !req
97. Mom, Dad was supposed to take me driving
after school today,
Copy !req
98. but now he's gotta take Trip
to his dumb-ass basketball game.
Copy !req
99. - It's the quarter-finals.
- You'll just get a hard-on in the game.
Copy !req
100. Now I will get a hard-on because
you made me think about it. Thanks a lot.
Copy !req
101. - I'll take you driving this weekend.
- I need to practice every day.
Copy !req
102. I'm the only senior
who still doesn't have a license.
Copy !req
103. It's embarrassing.
Copy !req
104. Well, I got the store,
and I already took the morning off,
Copy !req
105. so unless you know any other adults...
Copy !req
106. Can BoJack take me?
Copy !req
107. - Huh?
- What?
Copy !req
108. - I mean, he is an adult.
- Uh...
Copy !req
109. Well, I mean, if it's okay with BoJack.
Copy !req
110. You'd really be doing me a huge favor.
Copy !req
111. Well, I guess I could make some time...
before the boat show.
Copy !req
112. Keep your eyes on the road,
both hands on the wheel.
Copy !req
113. - Okay.
- And don't text and drive,
Copy !req
114. unless it's an emergency,
Copy !req
115. like you have a really funny thing
that you just have to text someone.
Copy !req
116. - Got it.
- So, let me ask you something. Tsk.
Copy !req
117. Do your parents really love each other,
Copy !req
118. or is it
a stay-together-for-the-kids situation?
Copy !req
119. What? Why would you ask me that?
Copy !req
120. I don't know. Just making conversation.
Copy !req
121. - Why do we keep passing the same house?
- No, I don't. Shut up.
Copy !req
122. You shut up. What's the story?
Cute guy live there? Girl you hate?
Copy !req
123. College kid that gives you Adderall?
Copy !req
124. Okay, fine.
Copy !req
125. That's Diego Mendoza's house.
Copy !req
126. He's just this stupid guy.
Copy !req
127. He's in my calculus class,
and sometimes we'll do this thing
Copy !req
128. where he goes, "Hey,"
and then I go, "Hey."
Copy !req
129. Then he goes, "What's the homework?"
and I tell him.
Copy !req
130. It's not like a big deal or anything,
but it's like this thing we do.
Copy !req
131. - Cool thing.
- So, anyway...
Copy !req
132. My best friend, Alison F.
Was talking to Rachel Kaplan.
Copy !req
133. Do I really need
to know these names?
Copy !req
134. Rachel heard from Ray-Ray
and the Bean
Copy !req
135. that Diego said
if prom happened right now
Copy !req
136. he'd want to go with Ali Sandler,
and I'm like,
Copy !req
137. "Yeah, pfft, okay, dude."
You know what I mean?
Copy !req
138. You know I don't know
any of these people, right?
Copy !req
139. But then he said
since prom's not for another two months,
Copy !req
140. he could "foresee a situation"
where he would want to go with me,
Copy !req
141. because he knows I'm a real girl
who's mostly chill.
Copy !req
142. If you're so mostly chill,
why do you keep driving by his house?
Copy !req
143. In case he comes out,
to, like, check the mail or something.
Copy !req
144. I'll get out of the car and be like,
"That's so funny.
Copy !req
145. I was just going for a drive."
Copy !req
146. And he'll be like, "Oh, hey."
And I'll be like, "Hey."
Copy !req
147. - 'Cause that's our thing, you know? Heh.
- That's the whole plan?
Copy !req
148. Well, it's better than your plan
for buying a boat in New Mexico.
Copy !req
149. Dude, what are you really doing here?
Copy !req
150. I didn't... like the person I was in L.A.
Copy !req
151. And I didn't know where else to go.
Copy !req
152. - Please do not tell your parents.
- Well, I won't,
Copy !req
153. but I think people are gonna notice
Copy !req
154. if you go to a boat show
and don't come back with a boat.
Copy !req
155. Oh, my God, there he is. Get down!
Copy !req
156. - Oh, my God. Oh!
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
157. - What happened to your plan?
- Oh! I panicked.
Copy !req
158. I didn't know
he'd be wearing a tank top.
Copy !req
159. - Don't tell my parents I crashed your car.
- Yeah, deal.
Copy !req
160. - They didn't even put me in.
- I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Copy !req
161. You did some great cheering
from the bench,
Copy !req
162. and for someone who never plays,
you sweat a lot.
Copy !req
163. - Maybe they'll put me in next game.
- Sure, they will.
Copy !req
164. No way they'll do that.
Copy !req
165. - What the...?
- Huh?
Copy !req
166. - Whoa!
- Whoa!
Copy !req
167. What a boat.
Copy !req
168. - Can I go on your boat?
- I don't see what's stopping you.
Copy !req
169. Yeah! Woo-hoo! I'm going on a boat!
I got my way!
Copy !req
170. Where's your car?
Copy !req
171. I junked it.
Who needs a car when you got a boat?
Copy !req
172. - Uh... well...
- Whoa, sweet, a waterbed.
Copy !req
173. On a boat!
Think of the amount of floating!
Copy !req
174. Please stay out of the bedroom.
Copy !req
175. - Does she have a name?
- Who?
Copy !req
176. - The boat? It does not.
- Come on. You gotta give her a name.
Copy !req
177. You should call her the Escape From L.A.
Copy !req
178. That actually is a good name for it,
the nongendered object.
Copy !req
179. Oh, she's a good girl.
Copy !req
180. I can tell,
she's a good girl, isn't she?
Copy !req
181. - Or are you a bad girl?
- Are you flirting with my boat right now?
Copy !req
182. No, just kidding around.
I'm kind of the comedian of the family.
Copy !req
183. - Mind if I get on top of her?
- Knock yourself out.
Copy !req
184. Dad, don't be gross.
Copy !req
185. - Wow, you really got a boat.
- Yeah, sure did.
Copy !req
186. So, does that mean you're leaving?
Copy !req
187. Oh, I, uh...
Copy !req
188. Yeah, I guess, uh... I guess I did...
do what I came here to do.
Copy !req
189. You don't have to go right away, right?
At least stay till the end of the weekend.
Copy !req
190. - Yeah? I don't wanna put you out.
- Oh, it's no bother.
Copy !req
191. And at least now you have your own bed.
Besides... heh, everyone here loves you.
Copy !req
192. Uh, everyone?
Copy !req
193. Don't use the bathroom.
It'll end up in the driveway.
Copy !req
194. - Too late.
- Seriously, stay as long as you want.
Copy !req
195. - What?
- BoJack, great news.
Copy !req
196. Do you still want to go to New York?
Because Jill Pill...
Copy !req
197. Jill Pill? I don't care about this.
Copy !req
198. Okay, moving on. Do you remember
when we were at Herb's funeral
Copy !req
199. - and you told me...?
- Whatever it is, I don't care.
Copy !req
200. Oh, there's a kitchen!
Can we make pizza bagels?
Copy !req
201. Yeah, family dinner on the boat.
Copy !req
202. Hey, uh, I'm not gonna be back
on set Monday.
Copy !req
203. What? How long do I have
to keep putting out fires for you?
Copy !req
204. I don't know, Princess Carolyn.
Just let them burn.
Copy !req
205. - What?
- I think I might be here a while.
Copy !req
206. Listen, I...
Copy !req
207. Well, who's getting seasick?
Copy !req
208. Just kidding.
Copy !req
209. It's such an eyesore.
Copy !req
210. Well, I'm sure if we ask them nicely,
they'll move the boat.
Copy !req
211. BoJack?
Copy !req
212. - Yeah?
- Supper's ready.
Copy !req
213. So, I had another meeting today
with the Drama Chair at SFCC.
Copy !req
214. They're gonna offer me a position.
Copy !req
215. - What? That's amazing.
- Oh, that's cool. Congratulations.
Copy !req
216. There's a real stick-in-the-mud dean there
who doesn't like my in-your-face style.
Copy !req
217. If I know me, it might lead
to some pretty zany misadventures.
Copy !req
218. Mm. Brussels sprouts are delicious, Mom.
Copy !req
219. It's funny you brought up the Brussels
sprouts, because I think they're terrible.
Copy !req
220. I'm just kidding around.
These are great, hon.
Copy !req
221. Penny, did you hear my bit
about the Brussels sprouts?
Copy !req
222. A bit is what they call a joke
in show business.
Copy !req
223. - Right, BoJack?
- That's right.
Copy !req
224. String a bunch of those together
and you got yourself a riff.
Copy !req
225. You're not funny, Dad.
Your jokes are never funny.
Copy !req
226. Okay... I think someone's in a mood.
Copy !req
227. Oh, my God. I'm not in a mood.
Copy !req
228. Whatever. Get bent.
Copy !req
229. I hate my life. I can't wait to be dead.
Copy !req
230. I'll talk to her.
Copy !req
231. Everyone said for months
Copy !req
232. - that Diego was gonna ask me to prom.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
233. - But he keeps not doing it.
- That is so typical Diego.
Copy !req
234. So, I thought, okay,
if he's not going to ask me, I'll ask him.
Copy !req
235. - Way to take initiative.
- Oh. Rookie mistake.
Copy !req
236. So, I asked him and he said no.
Copy !req
237. And then this other girl, Lyla K.,
came up to him and was just like, "Hey."
Copy !req
238. And he was like, "Hey."
And that's our thing.
Copy !req
239. Well, I don't want to tell tales
out of school,
Copy !req
240. but this Lyla K. character
sounds like a real bust-ass super-skank.
Copy !req
241. Thank you, that is exactly what she is.
It's weird that nobody talks about it.
Copy !req
242. Well, you know, sometimes it's nice
to not have a date,
Copy !req
243. - because you can actually...
- Mom.
Copy !req
244. I can't go to the prom without a date.
It's not like when you were in high school
Copy !req
245. - and you'd go to your sock hops.
- Do you think
Copy !req
246. - I went to high school in the '50s?
- Penny, hey, I got an idea.
Copy !req
247. - You should take me to the prom.
- Huh?
Copy !req
248. Everybody loves having BoJack around.
Copy !req
249. What? Why?
Copy !req
250. Think about it. If you went with Diego,
you'd be nervous.
Copy !req
251. "Does he like me? Am I cool?"
Copy !req
252. But with me you can just relax
and enjoy yourself.
Copy !req
253. Diego will see you
have a good time without him,
Copy !req
254. and that'll make him super jealous.
Copy !req
255. So, he'll come up to you,
and he'll say, "Hey."
Copy !req
256. And then you say, "Hey."
Copy !req
257. - Oh, that's so cold.
- Right?
Copy !req
258. - Wait...
- Rachel Kaplan's gonna shit herself.
Copy !req
259. - How is that cold?
- Then he'll say, "Wanna dance?"
Copy !req
260. And you'll say,
"I'm busy right now. Maybe later."
Copy !req
261. And then... never dance with him.
Copy !req
262. - That'll show him.
- Wait... I'm sorry.
Copy !req
263. - Don't you want to dance with Diego?
- Stop poking holes, Charlotte.
Copy !req
264. - This is a great plan.
- Yeah, Mom, don't poke holes.
Copy !req
265. Hey, Dad, BoJack's taking me to prom!
Copy !req
266. Oh, yeah, well,
that's definitely the better idea.
Copy !req
267. Okay, everyone smile. Real big.
Copy !req
268. - Cheese.
- I think we have enough pictures.
Copy !req
269. Oh, come on, it's your first prom.
Indulge us.
Copy !req
270. Taking pictures before prom
is so bourgeois.
Copy !req
271. And who are you again?
Copy !req
272. - I'm Maddy.
- Maddy's my best friend.
Copy !req
273. - I thought Alison F. was your best friend.
- That was like three best friends ago.
Copy !req
274. You were best friends
with Alison F.?
Copy !req
275. - No.
- Hey, BoJack, I'm Pete.
Copy !req
276. But they call me Pete Repeat
because I always say everything twice.
Copy !req
277. - Everything?
- Yeah, it's kind of my thing.
Copy !req
278. - Okay.
- Ah, damn.
Copy !req
279. I forgot to say that twice, didn't I?
Usually I do it.
Copy !req
280. Cool.
Copy !req
281. Wow, Ray-Ray and the Bean
are already posting pics on Instagram.
Copy !req
282. - What?
- Hashtag much?
Copy !req
283. Let me see.
Copy !req
284. Whoa, hold on. Responsible adult.
Copy !req
285. - What are you drinking?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
286. - Hand it over.
- Fine.
Copy !req
287. Ugh. Red Bull and vodka? What are you, 12?
You'll get sick drinking all that sugar.
Copy !req
288. Do they teach you anything in school?
Make a left at the light.
Copy !req
289. - Where are we going?
- I'll get you some bourbon.
Copy !req
290. And you'll cut it with water.
That way you don't get hungover.
Copy !req
291. Wait, really?
Copy !req
292. If you're gonna drink,
you should be smart about it.
Copy !req
293. Awesome. Wait.
How many times did I just say "awesome"?
Copy !req
294. Was it twice or was it once?
Ah, it was probably twice.
Copy !req
295. Yeah, it's twice. Pete Repeat.
Copy !req
296. - Ugh. It burns.
- Yeah, 'cause it's not a juice box.
Copy !req
297. You want some?
Copy !req
298. - No, thanks.
- Pussy.
Copy !req
299. I'm driving.
Copy !req
300. Well, more for me.
Copy !req
301. This prom is really bourgeois.
Copy !req
302. - Lyla K. is so pretty.
- Shut up. She's got nothing on you.
Copy !req
303. Why is nobody dancing?
We gotta get this party started.
Copy !req
304. Beat it, Poindexter.
Copy !req
305. - Poindexter?
- It's a nerd reference...
Copy !req
306. - Just beat it.
- Ah!
Copy !req
307. Huh?
Copy !req
308. - Hey!
- What's the big idea?
Copy !req
309. Why is there an adult
at our high school prom?
Copy !req
310. All right, folks.
We're taking it back to 1991,
Copy !req
311. when a new funky-fresh dance craze
took this nation by storm.
Copy !req
312. - All right.
- I'm listening.
Copy !req
313. As a teen, I'm open to new experiences.
Copy !req
314. Ready for the chorus, stay on the beat,
and here... we... go. Waka waka.
Copy !req
315. Now boys and girls,
if you wanna do the BoJack,
Copy !req
316. - take your hands and put them on your...
- Boo!
Copy !req
317. - This sucks.
- This guy's bad.
Copy !req
318. God, no! This is not
the immediate praise I expected.
Copy !req
319. This prom sucks.
Copy !req
320. You can say that again.
Copy !req
321. - I know.
- My flask got empty.
Copy !req
322. Can we be back to the car,
so, for more get for put in it?
Copy !req
323. Or we could go back to the car
and just leave.
Copy !req
324. - You can't just leave the prom.
- Of course you can. You're young.
Copy !req
325. You can do whatever you want.
Copy !req
326. That's what they never tell you
Copy !req
327. until it's too late.
You don't have to be here.
Copy !req
328. Yeah, is right. Society is everywhere.
Copy !req
329. - Society.
- Well, what else are we gonna do?
Copy !req
330. I'd say it's time to get down,
time to hit the town.
Copy !req
331. Is that a lyric
from that "Do the BoJack" song?
Copy !req
332. Just get in the car.
Copy !req
333. Okay, one... two... three.
Copy !req
334. Wow. That is so beautiful.
Copy !req
335. Hey, you wanna climb up
on the water tower?
Copy !req
336. We could see the whole city.
Copy !req
337. Yeah, I wanna go.
Copy !req
338. Oh.
Copy !req
339. Oh, careful there, Maddy.
Copy !req
340. Actually, I'm gonna stay right here.
Copy !req
341. This is nice.
Copy !req
342. Wow, how'd you think to do all this?
Copy !req
343. I don't know. It just came to me.
Copy !req
344. I'm really glad we left that stupid prom,
Copy !req
345. but I'm kind of bummed
we didn't get to dance.
Copy !req
346. Well, you wanna dance?
Copy !req
347. Yes, hold on.
Copy !req
348. Got it, okay.
Copy !req
349. It's buffering.
Copy !req
350. Buffering still, buffering.
Copy !req
351. This night has been... so perfect.
Copy !req
352. You know, you look just like your mother.
Copy !req
353. Guys?
Copy !req
354. I think you should come down here.
Copy !req
355. She's still breathing,
but she won't wake up.
Copy !req
356. She just had too much to drink.
Take her back to your place.
Copy !req
357. - She can spend the night.
- Maddy, come on.
Copy !req
358. No, look, my cousin had a friend
who passed out like this,
Copy !req
359. and she died of alcohol poisoning, man.
Copy !req
360. I really think we should get Maddy
to a hospital, to a hospital.
Copy !req
361. Did you see what I did there?
That's why they call me Pete Repeat.
Copy !req
362. BoJack, what do we do?
Copy !req
363. - Society.
- Careful.
Copy !req
364. - I'm being careful.
- Okay.
Copy !req
365. - Lock the wheels.
- Watch her head.
Copy !req
366. Maddy's gonna be just fine.
They'll know what to do here.
Copy !req
367. Pete, you're in charge.
Copy !req
368. - Penny and I are gonna take off.
- What?
Copy !req
369. You don't want too many people around
in a hospital setting.
Copy !req
370. If anyone asks,
tell them we left the dance early,
Copy !req
371. and you don't know
where Maddy got the whiskey.
Copy !req
372. Why?
Copy !req
373. It's one thing if a bunch of kids
get drunk on prom night,
Copy !req
374. but if there's an adult there,
I was supposed to be responsible,
Copy !req
375. and then the whole thing feels
kind of creepy.
Copy !req
376. Are you sure she's gonna be okay?
Copy !req
377. - I don't know, BoJack.
- Pete.
Copy !req
378. I'm the adult here,
and I need you to listen to me.
Copy !req
379. Penny and I left early.
You don't know who gave Maddy whiskey.
Copy !req
380. Are we clear on this?
Copy !req
381. I need you to be 100 percent with me here.
Copy !req
382. Uh...
Copy !req
383. Just listen to him.
He knows what he's doing.
Copy !req
384. It's gonna be okay.
Where did Maddy get the alcohol from?
Copy !req
385. I... I don't know.
Copy !req
386. And what happened to your friends
BoJack and Penny?
Copy !req
387. They left early.
Copy !req
388. See, that's not so hard.
Copy !req
389. You're doing the right thing.
Don't forget that.
Copy !req
390. - Okay.
- Is it okay?
Copy !req
391. Or "okay" okay?
Copy !req
392. - Uh... "okay" okay.
- All right, that's what I thought.
Copy !req
393. You're the future of America!
Go, Penny! Go, go, go!
Copy !req
394. - She's gonna be okay, right?
- She'll be fine.
Copy !req
395. It's a part of growing up.
Copy !req
396. And we did the right thing back there,
you think?
Copy !req
397. I...
Look, sometimes when you're an adult,
Copy !req
398. the right thing
isn't always the best thing.
Copy !req
399. Well...
Copy !req
400. I had a really good time tonight.
Copy !req
401. Even with all the craziness.
Copy !req
402. This was really special.
Copy !req
403. I'm glad.
Copy !req
404. You know, everyone always treats me
like a kid.
Copy !req
405. You're the first grown-up I've ever met
who actually treats me like...
Copy !req
406. you know, a person.
Copy !req
407. So, thanks. Mwah.
Copy !req
408. - Well, you're welcome, Penny.
- Mm...
Copy !req
409. - Whoa, Penny, come on.
- If you want to do it, I'm ready.
Copy !req
410. I have condoms in my room.
I can put one on with my mouth.
Copy !req
411. - With your mouth?
- I put one on a banana in health class.
Copy !req
412. With your mouth?
What kind of health class...?
Copy !req
413. Look, you are an amazing person,
but you're 17.
Copy !req
414. Which is the legal age of consent
in New Mexico.
Copy !req
415. Okay, that's not...
Copy !req
416. And I didn't drink tonight,
so everything's totally legal.
Copy !req
417. - Penny, no.
- It's okay. I want this.
Copy !req
418. No, you think you do, but...
Copy !req
419. You don't know what you want.
Copy !req
420. Oh, God.
Copy !req
421. This is so dumb.
Copy !req
422. - No, Penny, don't...
- I'll see you tomorrow.
Copy !req
423. Hey.
Copy !req
424. - What'd you do with my daughter?
- She had a big night.
Copy !req
425. She was falling asleep on the ride home.
Where are the boys?
Copy !req
426. Trip's at a friend's house
and Kyle's asleep.
Copy !req
427. - You know you can get your own, right?
- Hey, do you remember that time
Copy !req
428. you, me and Herb let those balloons go
over Studio City?
Copy !req
429. Oh, yeah. Didn't we attach glow sticks
to them or something?
Copy !req
430. - Yeah.
- Ooh. That was really bad
Copy !req
431. for the environment.
Copy !req
432. - True, but...
- A seagull could've choked
Copy !req
433. - on one of those balloons.
- But it's a nice memory, right?
Copy !req
434. It was a fun night.
Copy !req
435. We had a lot of fun nights.
Copy !req
436. Before you left town,
you told me L.A. was a tar pit.
Copy !req
437. - Do you remember?
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
438. I said so many things when I was young.
I thought I was so deep.
Copy !req
439. - Well, do you still think it's true?
- Do I think L.A. is a tar pit?
Copy !req
440. No.
Copy !req
441. No, I think you're the tar pit.
Copy !req
442. - Me?
- No, not "you" you.
Copy !req
443. I'm just saying, like...
Copy !req
444. It doesn't matter where you are,
it's who you are,
Copy !req
445. and that's not gonna change
whether you're in California
Copy !req
446. or Maine or New Mexico.
Copy !req
447. You know, you can't escape... you.
Copy !req
448. - Ugh. Now you sound like my mother.
- No, what? No, I don't.
Copy !req
449. - I don't know what to do, Charlotte.
- About what?
Copy !req
450. I keep... making these bad decisions.
Copy !req
451. - And hurting people.
- Well...
Copy !req
452. - Can I tell you a joke?
- Is it a long joke with no punch line?
Copy !req
453. - No.
- Then go ahead.
Copy !req
454. Guy goes into the doctor's office.
Says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this."
Copy !req
455. You know what the doctor says?
Copy !req
456. - "Don't do that."
- Yeah.
Copy !req
457. - That's actually... good advice.
- And you know what else?
Copy !req
458. The doctor in that story was a woman.
Copy !req
459. What?
Copy !req
460. Oh. BoJack, um...
Copy !req
461. - I think you got the wrong idea.
- Let's go.
Copy !req
462. - Let's get out of here right now.
- No, BoJack.
Copy !req
463. You and me, this is real.
Copy !req
464. - You know this is real.
- My husband is right upstairs.
Copy !req
465. I don't care about your husband.
All that matters is us.
Copy !req
466. - Don't do this, BoJack.
- I know you feel it, too.
Copy !req
467. So many times in my life
I've done the wrong thing,
Copy !req
468. but this is the right thing,
Copy !req
469. and I have never been more sure
of anything.
Copy !req
470. I've wasted so much time sitting
on my hands
Copy !req
471. and imagining what could have been.
Copy !req
472. Tell me you don't feel the same.
Tell me you haven't thought about it.
Copy !req
473. - I think you should go.
- Okay.
Copy !req
474. - Tomorrow.
- Charlotte...
Copy !req
475. I have worked very hard to build this life
for myself.
Copy !req
476. I am happy here.
Copy !req
477. And you just roll into my life
like a hurricane.
Copy !req
478. Why? Because we knew each other
for five minutes 30 years ago?
Copy !req
479. - I don't know you.
- You do.
Copy !req
480. I don't. And you don't know me.
Copy !req
481. No, please.
These last few months have been amazing.
Copy !req
482. - I love you, your family and this town.
- Stop.
Copy !req
483. - I never wanted to hurt...
- BoJack...
Copy !req
484. I'm sorry I kissed you. I shouldn't have.
We can pretend it didn't happen.
Copy !req
485. - Everything can go back to normal, but...
- No, no, stop. No.
Copy !req
486. Please, don't make me go back to L.A.
Copy !req
487. I don't care where you go, BoJack,
but I can't have you around here.
Copy !req
488. You make me too sad.
Copy !req
489. Okay.
Copy !req
490. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
491. I know what I want, BoJack.
Copy !req
492. Go to bed, Penny.
Copy !req
493. Wait, what?
Copy !req
494. Shh, shh, shh.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Copy !req
495. - No.
- Mom.
Copy !req
496. - Charlotte.
- Penny, go to your room.
Copy !req
497. - We didn't even do anything.
- Now, Penny.
Copy !req
498. - Charlotte, I am so sorry...
- Don't. Don't you dare.
Copy !req
499. If you are not out of my driveway
in 30 minutes, I will call the police.
Copy !req
500. And if you ever try to contact me
or my family again,
Copy !req
501. I will fucking kill you.
Copy !req
502. Hey.
Copy !req
503. Hey.
Copy !req
504. You're still here?
Copy !req
505. Yep, still here.
Copy !req
506. Boxer versus raptor.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Copy !req